#also another loose taker no real body for that guy has like half a face atbest

[chasing-faith-and-fate]

Moon 24

Moon 23.1 | Moon 24.1

[bullymagnet]

submission: kabaedactyl

i originally planned for this to be a stress-relief ficlet for aged up bullmag but 3k words later this happened so..here u go…i also took some material from this blog, which are all linked: this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, and this. There’s also a voltron comic reference that's here. - dactyl

🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺

Max and Johnny started dating in middle school.

It was an awkward, bumpy start. They never called themselves ’boyfriends’ in middle school, it was unheard of, you’d never tactical friendship fuse with your boyfriend — that’s another subject. If you did it with your boyfriend, you’d tactical boyfriend fuse, which was another day’s work. So, at first, they didn’t call themselves boyfriends. They called themselves best friends. They were best friends who, in late, ungodly hours of the night, watched Slenderman and Bigfoot documentaries and have conspiracy theories about whether or not they’re real. They were best friends who tested out the point to their spectral abilities, including biting literal pieces of wood and metal and trying to lift trains just because it was attracted to your metal, magnetic bat.

Throughout their years in Mayview middle school, they never counted themselves as boyfriends. They were best friends, through thick and thin.

They were plenty of summers that included Mayview’s lakes and ponds and public ditches large enough to jump in. One summer, their first summer as not-boyfriends-but-best-friends, Max got so fast at changing into bathing suits by just hearing Johnny’s voice and the tuptuptUPTUP of his feet that he could discard all of his clothes and get into a bathing suit quicker than Johnny could get to him. Johnny, consequently, got much faster that summer. (Did you know that Johhny’s natural hair is black? It’s darker than Max’s. Max was so surprised his soul left this dimension.)

That summer, Johnny also found out that Max unapologetically and horrifically, without fail, bit into every single ice cream cone he got. Not only does he do it more than once but once he figured out that Johnny is physically disturbed by it he did it more often. Every chance he got. He bit into popsicles, ice cream, ice, literally anything cold that would send chills up someone’s spine if you bit into it. He did it. His will was more powerful than anything Johnny had ever seen.

The first Halloween they spent together they dressed up as each other. Max got his father to buy all the crappy, dirt-cheap red dye he could get, and dyed his entire head red. He stole Johnny’s shirts. Despite Max’s epic parkour core strength, Johnny has way more muscles, and it hung loose around him. Johnny stole every single cap Max owned and put them all on at once, including ‘borrowing’ Max’s father’s insolent children shirt. (Everyone knew Max’s shirt wouldn’t fit him, after all.) Once they saw each other that Halloween, in their ridiculous get-ups, they both cried with laughter. They were the most ridiculous goofballs anyone had ever seen.

The school years and summers after included epic fights and slime monsters and big wolves with spectral abilities. It included researching mediums and putting “No, Google, I am not asking for Amazon t-shirts I’m talking about GHOSTS” into search bars at late, late hours of the night. It also includes weird trips into Mayview’s woods (but not far enough to the barrier) trying out weird tests of their spectral abilities. It’s also good to test their strength — Johnny can bench press Max easily, but can he bench press Max and about fifty other indistinguishable pieces of metal lying around? (Yes.)

🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺

At the very end of middle school, they became boyfriends. It was a very quick change but it didn’t impact their dynamic. At fourteen, they were completely done with beating around the bush about their boyfriend-y-ness.

They can thank Suzy and Isabel’s relationship for that.

Isabel never backed down from a challenge and calling Suzy her girlfriend was certainly one challenge she never could have backed down from. Suzy, ever the devoted journalist, referenced Isabel as her girlfriend whenever possible. Dimitri and Colin had no problem with it. They weren’t going to let their newspaper be exclusive for anybody. They were going to be an all inclusive, pro-lesbian middle school newspaper.

They were stuck in this eternal war with Suzy and Isabel and their own competitive feelings. Suzy loved being a public affectionate monster with Isabel, much like Johnny was to Max. Isabel and Max were stuck in an indefinite war about which boyfriend/girlfriend was better to cuddle with and better to wrestle with. Suzy was a tangle of limbs and too much energy to vent out, so she won the title of Cuddle Master Champion. But Johnny was a beast in wrestle-and-smooch matches, so he won the title of Wrestle Kiss Master Champion.

Finally, one day in Mayview’s own local high school, Suzy had demanded what they called themselves. “This isn’t a middle school newspaper anymore,” she had said to them while they passed each other in between classes. “This is serious Business with a capital B, boys! What is your relationship?”

Johnny and Max looked at one another for a solid second before resignedly nodding and turning back to the two girls. “Boyfriends.” they said at once, smiling.

🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺

High school was no less messy than middle school was. Though, Johnny and Max got acquainted with each others’ ghosts. Scrapdragon had a superiority complex, apparently, and liked to shove Max into the heightened state of perception and then talk through his body. It scared Johnny out of his mind the first few times it happened, which involved lightning-fast talking and a few kicks to the stomach. After a while, Scrapdragon became a nuisance, and Johnny responded in whatever he could muster in the language it spoke, depending on its tone. More often than not, Scrapdragon was sarcastic, and Johnny was teasing.

Forge was a much weirder case. Despite his standoffish nature, he was intelligent, which often butted heads against Max. Forge only forcibly pulled Johnny into the heightened state of perception during battles, when Johnny got distracted by Max, in order to keep him safe. During the early parts of high school, Forge took up the majority of Johnny’s concentration, since he kept asking questions about human culture, their methods of education, and questions about Max and Scrapdragon. (“What is… a Scrapdragon?” “How am I s'posed t'know?)

Now older, they had a fairly good idea on mediums and tools and the differences between them and, sometimes, when they saw a spooked kid on the way to Mayview middle school they made sure to say hello and make sure to tell them that ghosts aren’t scary, if you know how to handle them right. Most of the kids were being taught by Mr. Spender, who taught history, and the wonder duo made sure to tell them he was a pretty good guy to talk to about ghosts. He knew all about ghosts and all their business. Then, when they had to go to school, Johnny and Max would wave bye and head to school, as well.

The two of them got noticed early on as the couple who were six feet into the world of ghosts. Not only that, but Max’s house — which was conveniently the upper story of the convenience store down the block — would get visited by kids who liked to confirm rumors. Max and his family and Johnny and his family all came up with various stories and tangents and hour long theatrical acts to get the kids to leave them alone.

Max did his best impression from the woman from Long Island Medium, telling people weird, half-truths. Johnny struggled to keep a straight face whenever Max did things like that, at first. After a while, Johnny joined his boyfriend. They both would cry and sob and be so melodramatic people couldn’t maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds.

There were some doting moments, as well. Max had become a monster about affection, especially alone. He also lost his filter, over the next couple of years. It included him practically clinging to Johnny’s waist and mumbling things like warmer into his chest, which made happiness bubble in Johnny’s gut as he, cooperatively, warmed up his body. He had gotten better at the whole 'I-have-a-ghost-made-out-of-fire’ thing and could control the fire that now inhabited his body at will. When he got rowdier, however, he tended to breathe out smoke after a particularly epic stunt. Max thought it was cool.

They got more clever as they got older. They stayed doting and devoted, just as bigger, busier boys. They were still the twelve-year-old boys in bigger, taller, lankier bodies. Johnny was rowdy and kind-hearted and talked too loud during class and did arts-n-crafts during English. He got nearly all As during high school, though. Despite his rowdiness during class he was an excellent note-taker when people talked to him about classes and teachers and subjects — something god knows Max did often. Max mumbled and ranted and went on long-winded tangents to help his brain digest information and Johnny took that information and made good notes and got good grades.

They went through ridiculous montages of chasing after ghosts and going through terrible, terrible plans. Johnny has said, “wait, watch this.” one too many times to make Max worry — each and every time Johnny did them, he would be fine. Each and every time he did that, after every stunt fail and every success, after every triumphant leap of faith and roundhouse kick to a ghost’s face, Max always made sure to compliment Johnny on his talents. "You know, Johnny, I’ve known you for six years now and you still somehow don’t fail to amaze me.”

The whole Activity Club was sparking with life along with the wonder duo, even as young adults. Isaac was still as emotionally constipated as ever, but he got way cooler looking. Scars ran up his arms and neck and whenever he used his spectral abilities, they glowed with an electric sky blue. Isabel was lovingly nicknamed the Tool Minute Dater because she could only stick with a tool for like, two months. Whatever she did, she did fantastically, and did it with her bullheaded force. She became broad and tough and was the perfect bodyguard to her small, curious, and invasive no-filter girlfriend. Ed’s tool stayed with him, getting bigger, and he’s much broader and much more agile than he was in middle school. He’s still Isabel’s best friend, he’s just as obnoxious about video games as he was, but he is one heck of a real fighter.

Spender was less and less seen, as a Mayview middle school teacher, but he was on missions occasionally. Each and every mission he was one brought chaos to the team. He’ll stuff every single member into his little tiny gray Hybrid car and they would get a move on to whatever dangerous activity they were on to next. Isabel sat in the passenger seat, Johnny would double up with Max, Ed would be squished in the middle, and Isaac would be on the other side. Johnny and Isabel’s bright red spectral energy would butt heads against the spectral energy of Isaac, which was just as lively. Isaac’s energy, like lightning, would spark and bubble at sporadic times. Max’s black energy would grow as time went on as his embarrassment grew. Ed’s green energy and Spender’s bright yellow energy never stood a chance.

🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺

At eighteen, the wonder duo became legends. After graduating from high school, they both got arrested and went to jail for a night. It was a beautiful moment when two ghost-chasing eighteen-year-olds got arrested. It was for trespassing and loitering and unlawful entry. The ghost was volatile and going to hurt someone, Max would have reasoned, but ghosts don’t make sense to police. Not when Max and Johhny’s clothing is torn, their hair is disheveled, their faces are flushed, seen in an empty, abandoned building in the middle of the night, closer to two am than midnight. If Johnny had said they were ghost hunting, Max wasn’t sure he could stomach the embarrassment.

It didn’t stop the police from asking, though. “So, why were you two in there?” His tone ran dry when he said there and Max grimaced. The ride there was intolerable to begin with, they didn’t need to interrogate them to make it worse. Max’s tiredness was creeping up on him and he wasn’t sure he could give them a coherent answer. Luckily, Johnny noticed, and stepped in.

“Someone said online that this place was s'posed t'be haunted. 'N it kinda was, doors openin’ an’ closin’ without anybody bein’ there. Some mo—uh, wails, an’ stuff comin’ from the walls. We couldn’t figure out what was happenin’, then y'all showed up.” Johnny offered his hand to Max, who gladly accepted it, and they both gave each other a reassuring squeeze.

“Ghost hunting? Like those tv shows?” Said the driver, who was slightly broader than his partner. He had a rather obnoxious worm ghost clinging to his hands, slinking back and forth. It left an intangible slime trail that Max and Johnny couldn’t help but make faces at.

“Just like those shows,” Max said. He blinked, like he was forgetting something, before he added another word, “Sir.”

“Yeah,” Johnny agreed as nonchalantly as possible, “Sir.”

They were only in jail for the night. They didn’t do anything bad in the building. They didn’t break any fences or do anything to the private-owned property. They didn’t put up any graffiti. When they got their items back and left the police station, they quickly told the group chat.

[ 10:01 ] max 👻 guys guess who got arrested

[ 10:01 ] isabel 🔪 im telling suzy

[ 10:01 ] ed burgz details??????

[ 10:01 ] isaaaaaac Do we even want to know.

[ 10:01 ] here comes johnny it was SO COOL

[ 10:02 ] here comes johnny boom bam POW THWIP SHA-BANG KA-POW

[ 10:02 ] here comes johnny then we were in jail

[ 10:03 ] isabel 🔪 suzy says johnnys text isnt sufficient

[ 10:03 ] max 👻 tell her thats all shes getting

[ 10:04 ] isabel 🔪 she says she hates the both of you

[ 10:10 ] isabel 🔪 in college, i will not be so lenient!!! i will have ALL the details, you will soon know your fate!!!!!! -suzy

Suzy did not get all the details. She ended up getting all the stories, but it was like a comedy trope in Fast & Furious. Every time Johnny or Max opened their mouth to tell the story, out came completely different, completely contradictory, completely riduculous stories. She also got jokes. She got hours of Max’s tearful tangents about how hard it is to be dating a criminal. It’s even worse when he accidentally went on a tangent about wanting to be married to a criminal, or wanting to propose to a criminal — she regretted ever asking.

And when she didn’t ask, they alluded to it anyway. They would vaguely reference the Night or the Incident. The Activity Club got to know it as the Night but there were several instances where it was referenced with a variety of different names. The Day, the Building, the Fight with the Man, the Argument with the Two Men. It sounded like a twelve year old’s horror story on fanfic.net and it drove all of the others up the wall.

🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺

When they turned twenty-one, it kind of became unbearable to just be boyfriends. Nine years, now, nine years of being boyfriends and best friends and each other’s support and fighting partners. Nine years is a lot of time to be dating and nine years is enough time to look at someone who you’ve been dating non-stop and say, yeah, that’s him. (The love of one’s life.)

Johnny and Max are sappy, affectionate boyfriends. They always had been, even during their friendship fuses fighting against each other in deadly dodge ball matches and fighting slime monsters. It was almost tooth-rottingly sweet. Their many shenanigans could have been listed off as a Halsey song or a surreal 80s love song with the right instrumental. They rode on the back of Target carts during sunsets when Target didn’t have a lot of people in their parking lots. They found the Karaoke places with the nicest people working there and the dumbest, sweetest 80s love songs they could. They bought Wiis and Just Dance and Rock Band just to jam out together. You bet your butt when Johnny and Max found out that electric ukuleles were a thing they bought one as soon as they could find one. Their relationship was mesmerizing and they didn’t stop for anyone.

Johnny and Max, at age twenty-one, were comfortable with one another; they were both on their brand new apartment’s couch, exhausted, half-dead, and ready to sleep for thirty years, but it was comfortable. This new thing to them was comfortable. This new thing should be overwhelming and strange and new but since they were twelve they’ve been doing this. At Max’s house, they slept together, one top of one another, half-dead and entirely brain-dead. At Johnny’s house, they slept, ready to become the next Sleeping Beauties. On the bleachers or under them, in their high school, sleeping, because they couldn’t make it to P.E. because last night was so exhausting. Suzy would snap pictures from her terrible antique polaroid camera that would blind them for long enough to let her get away, but they were furious, and chased after her for days. The pictures always ended up on the high school newspaper, though, despite their best efforts. They would sit on Johnny’s motorcycle that he got for his twentieth birthday and it included a lecture from one of his moms, who was chewing him out for using her motorcycle for years and without a license.

But it’s in their apartment, half-asleep and doting, when Johnny piped up. “Muxxy, will you marry me?”

And it’s half-asleep Max, who said, “Of course. This was goin’ t'be permanent t'begin with, wasinnit?”

Johnny smiled at that, that kind of butterfly-squeezing-gut-bubbling happiness that seized you and every bit of you. The kind that gave you shivers despite feeling warm all over. “Yea, 'course it was. Go back t'sleep.”

Max nodded off. “Y'too, Johnny.”

Johnny nodded off, too, with a soft “I love you, Max,” leaving him as he fell back to sleep. Though, he swore he heard it returned.

🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺 — 🌺

That night, they took everything seriously. They got the rings. They told everyone. They told Suzy over the phone and as soon as they said the word marriage they could hear Discord’s dial tone and Colin and Dimitri’s voices as she translated every last detail. They’re running their own independent paper and blog called Mayview News Now! and they report everything that happens locally. Johnny and Max were going to outdo Mulan’s off-screen wedding and invite the whole of Mayview and they were going to get awesome wedding gifts.

They were going to talk to every single contact they know. They were the famous wonder duo of Mayview and gods and ghosts alike will know that their determination doesn’t lack in any amount. They’re going to get the biggest, prettiest venue possible and have the most wonderful wedding and do it Johnny-Max style. They’re going to have the funniest wedding and no one in Mayview — no one in the world is going to be able to top it.

The wedding reception is beyond what anyone could have thought. It might be labeled as a catastrophe, with both of the grooms’ suits trashed beyond repair and all the pent up strength they’ve been giving to ghosts who can barely feel anything at all were now all over each other. Johnny and Max specifically and insistently requested no glasses in this event. No glass cups, no glass punch bowls, replace the windows with plastic or aluminum foil or wooden screens, just not glass. And they were right to be persistent.

The wedding had delved into a food fight.

Johnny threw the first hit. Of course he did. It was a small one-bite snack and it had nailed Isabel in her face. Suzy took a sharp intake of breath before she gave her girlfriend, — bride to be — two bite-sized snacks and then smiled devilishly at the newly wed couple. Isabel’s spectral energy lit aflame which only egged on Johnny and then they were head-to-head, with every other guest and waiter getting in the crossfire.

Not only was that something to witness, Ed threw something at Max. The no-good biased capital g Gamer had thrown the second throw. Max vaulted a counter with ease and grabbed a discarded crab leg. He then smiled and it was war from then on.

It became a mess of food and laughter and surprisingly calm wait staff. There were really amazing and drastic and dramatic measures taken, tactical formations and a lot of people on the catwalks, people with the capability to jump onto a counter, then grab onto a wall, then hoist themselves onto the catwalks above with nothing more but calloused hands and freewill. Despite the discord that was all around them, it was fun, and the only thing regrettable was the trashed suits and fancy dresses that people wore, despite the wedding’s formality only being casual-wear.

At the end of it, in the trashed interior, with the wait staff patiently behind the counters with the ice chests full of soda and cold sweet tea and orange juice and energy drinks; with the people hiding behind walls with fairy lights dangling from the ceilings and on the walls in dazzling formations; with the people laying flat on catwalks with trashed, mushed food in their hands; with the wonder duo in a tactical husband formation standing in the midst of it all, in their trashed suits and funny grins and shaking hands because of pure adrenaline; and then they laugh.

It’s roaring. It’s thunderous. They’re all laughing. At twenty-one, Johnny and Max are married, newly wed ghost-hunting partners, and they just had a food fight for their wedding reception. And they love this experience and each other so much.