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texanredrose · 7 years

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Dear Diary - July

July 4th- Dear Diary, Father called today. He tried weaseling around the terms of our agreement but I held firm. I know quite well that he doesn’t approve of the fact I’m attending the gala with a date he hasn’t personally vetted but he doesn’t get to have a say in who I include in my life anymore. In the back of my mind, I’m also highly aware he would object to everything about Blake, strictly for his own poor opinions and not because Blake is anything but a stellar individual and a sweet, heartfelt soul. Ultimately, it was foolish of me to talk her into attending the gala without first ensuring she understood the... full situation. The world I knew growing up was so enclosed that the realities of the world at large have yet to truly trickle in, old grudges and outdated views holding firm when they have no good reasons to cling to them except out of vain pride. I’ve made mention of severing ties with Father, but I never told anyone aside from Winter the details. Blake and I are supposed to go for a jog tomorrow morning; I will address it then. I tried calling her but the words caught in my throat and I...

I realize- not for the first time- that Blake is a better friend than I truly deserve. She picked up on my sour mood and turned the conversation away from my family and the gala entirely, pulled me into a discussion about a show I’ve never even heard of but now am interested in seeing. She’s made a claim that I can’t possibly see working in even the most abstract fictional sense and started discourse over the whole debacle, so now I feel compelled to witness for myself to see if my mind changes. We’re having a little watch party at her place on Friday- provided our conversation tomorrow goes well, I suppose- and the reprieve was nice. But I can’t help feeling like going to the gala- although an event I am required to attend- is a huge mistake.

Winter understands- perhaps better than Blake or Ruby ever could. She’s been separated from that world for longer but she knows what’s to come. Everyone will ask about her service, about why it ended, and she won’t lie- we’ve spent far too much of our lives lying to everyone and ourselves. She’ll square her shoulders and tell nothing but the truth with clear pride and from that moment on, everything will be different. From the moment Penny’s brought up, Winter will go from respectable former service member to an irresponsible single mother in their eyes- because staying in a loveless marriage where both of you cheat on the other like most people drink water is somehow the morally righteous avenue in comparison. And that she’s adopted? The circumstances around that adoption? Perish the thought of caring for another person out of something other than blood compelled obligation or financial opportunity. It makes my blood boil.

Even as I’m writing this, Blake’s checking up on me via text. Ruby, too, though she seemed busier nowadays. I know she’s been spending more time with Penny and I’m glad my niece- which... I suppose I haven’t been thinking of her as such until recently, but that is the proper familial relation- is becoming friends with my best friend. It’s... strange, in a way, because even though it’s only Winter and I now as blood relatives... I feel as if I have a bigger, more supportive family now than at any other point in my life.

I know I started this diary with the express intention of chronicling my exasperation with Winter and Yang but... it does feel nice to write the words ‘I feel very loved right now’ in my own handwriting and know that I fully mean them.

And now Yang’s texting me. I guess Blake enlisted everyone’s assistance to cheer me up. I wonder what her response would be if I jokingly referred to her as my future sister-in-law. Jokes of that nature are typically her domain but... well, maybe it takes speaking in a language she understands to get her to notice Winter’s advances.

Regardless, it’s just occurred to me that I do have quite an extensive support network and I should set up contingencies. In the event Blake still wants to attend the gala with me, I should have a back-up plan; I think I’ll reach out to Pyrrha, see if she’s free that evening and could stay in the area if a hasty exit is required. Winter and I may be mandated to remain at the event but, if either Blake or Yang begin feeling uncomfortable- I don’t see the latter missing out on anything falling within the classical definition of a ‘party’ but Winter seems adamant- they can leave at any time they wish.

I already envy them that freedom.

July 5th- Dear Diary, Again, I find myself a bit amazed. Blake possesses a very intricate understanding of the worst case scenario and she seemed rather blasé about the whole thing. I don’t believe for a second she’s that confident in facing those stuffy morons at the gala- I can see in her eyes how she wants to balk and run- but she’s going to try and I’ll always admire her courage to try when every instinct screams at her otherwise. Also, our jog went a bit... longer than either of us expected; we both forgot the initial limit we’d set and just... kept running. Our conversation took so many turns- I actually find myself looking forward to the possibility that someone might incense her enough to pull a passionate rant from her mid gala. It would be glorious to witness and being able to say she’s my date to all the stupefied morons? Priceless.

Also, my conversation with Yang last night drew on a bit longer and I... was reminded of a few things. I sometimes forget that she plays her cards so close to the vest, to use a phrase, and hides her turmoil behind a mask of support. I suppose effectively raising Ruby on her own had some bearing on the way she always seems to keep her troubles to herself rather than ‘burden’ her friends with such thoughts, but that’s what we’re here for, damnit, and I’ll not stand idly by when something is bothering my friend and potential future sister-in-law.

After a lot of work, I managed to ferret the issue out of her. It seems she’s a bit intimidated about the gala. While she’s promised to dial back her puns and brash demeanor, she worries she’ll embarrass either myself or Winter, and while her heart’s in the right place, neither of us are worried about such. I tried to assure her of that but I’m quite certain my words fell on deaf ears; I forget, also, that she’s not as confident in herself as many believe. A cocky strut and a large smile can fool many but her vulnerabilities are there, if one looks close enough. On the upside, it provided a perfect opportunity to provide her Winter’s number, if only so she could see for herself that Winter has utmost confidence in her. That seemed to lift her spirits but, as of yet, she hasn’t reached out to Winter.

I swear, these two will be the death of me.

July 9th- Dear Diary, I spoke to Pyrrha and it turns out she and Nora have plans the night of the gala to see a movie. The theatre isn’t too far from the museum, so they’ll be in the area and happy to provide their assistance. Well, I’m not so sure about the ‘happy’ part; Nora didn’t seem entirely enthused but Pyrrha managed to talk her into it. Not sure what’s going on with those two but they’ve certainly been hanging around each other more often as of late. Probably a good thing; Pyrrha could use a little of Nora’s effortless ability to relax and just be goofy while Nora could certainly use a lesson or two in conducting herself according to... well, common decency. I swear, half the time, I think she purposefully ignores well established etiquette just to see how many people she can rile up, but she means well. I think.

At any rate, this secures Yang and Blake a back-up plan in the event things go south. Another round of assurances have occurred in the past day, going every which way- and I mean that literally.

Winter has talked to me, promised to intervene if Father gets up to his usual tricks, which he no doubt will, and I assured her that I’d rather he do his best to tear us both down rather than just one of us suffer the consequences. I think it helps ease her mind that I’m willing to stand beside her, knowing quite well the hell we’re going to be walking into, but we both broke free of that world. If we must return, it won’t be alone. Funny, to think there was a time I envied her so greatly, I refused to talk to her. I suppose children aren’t the best equipped to handle the figurative minefields we navigated in our youth. It’s nice to think that she’s on my side, firmly; that we have each other’s backs. I think... I think one of these days, I should apologize for holding so much against her without saying a word...

Anyway, after ensuring that we were on the same page, we then had to deal with Yang and Blake. I’m not sure which of us had it harder, to be frank. I opted to try again explaining to Blake the sort of environment she’ll be walking into... it brought a considerable amount of shame to my heart to admit how awful these people are, and how I aspired to be exactly like them at one point in my life. Although I never said as much, I think she might’ve picked up on my fears that I’m truly no better, and she... well, did her usual Blake thing and offered for us to show up at the gala and then immediately run away, find a nice ice cream parlour, and settle down for a treat. While I’m not sure if her advocacy for avoiding the whole thing came from jest or seriousness, it made me laugh, because I honestly think it would be a much better way to spend an evening. Ice cream with a dear friend beats sitting in my apartment watching reruns and doing paperwork, anyway, and I do so enjoy her company. Alas, that seemed to be the extent of her concern regarding the events, and she’s steadfast in her courage to handle the whole ordeal with that quiet little smile of hers. I’ve recently begun to think how lucky I am to have such wonderful friends, and Blake comes in very high on that list.

However, by bringing it up again, it seems I unintentionally gave Blake the idea that I might want to take someone else instead. Preposterous, mind- no one else can read Yang half as well, aside from Ruby, and I’ll not be bringing that miniature tornado anywhere near these morons for fear she’ll either become embarrassed or challenged, neither of which would end well for all parties involved- and it took a fair amount of time to convince her otherwise. Truthfully, I can’t imagine bringing anyone else with me, not only to keep an eye on Winter and Yang but because I don’t think I’d want to have anyone else at my side when the vultures begin to circle. Blake’s seen... well ‘my worst’ is a bit misleading, since I’d like to think I’d grown a bit by the time we met, but certainly not my best. She’s seen the ugly side, the part I’m still trying to weed out from my soul, and knowing that I’m walking back into the garden where it grows wild- again I find myself questioning if this is the right decision to make. But that’s what the back-up plan is for, I must remember that. I’m a Schnee and I plan for every eventuality.

Anyway, setting aside the myriad of thoughts pinging around my head regarding this ridiculous gala, there’s what little I’ve gleaned about the communications between Yang and Winter, from the four most reliable sources.

From Winter’s perspective, she’s done everything she can to assure Yang that her presence is not only wanted but welcomed, and that anyone who makes her feel otherwise will be ‘dealt with’- a fine, empty threat at first, but there are times when I see a look come into Winter’s eyes I haven’t seen since her days in the military, and I’m not so sure ‘empty’ is the proper word. Of course she wouldn’t hold it against Yang if she didn’t want to go- really, neither of us could- but welcomed the company, and supposedly she admitted that she’s looking forward to seeing Yang in her dress again. It's both strange and fascinating to watch how quickly those jagged, rough edges from our childhood and beyond are melted away when Winter talks about Yang. I think 'smitten' is putting it lightly; I don't doubt Winter would fight the whole Atlesian army with one arm behind her back if Yang asked her to, and she'd do it with a smile. It's actually adorable and I never thought that would be an apt description for my little sister.

From Yang's take, I'm beginning to think this attraction goes much deeper for her. Not to say Winter's interest is purely superficial but it suddenly occurred to me that Yang never really showed much hesitation entering romantic relationships before or flirting with whoever caught her eye. She's dated before- and run the gambit as far as potential partners go- but the prospect of asking someone out or being asked out always seemed like no big deal. It might happen, it might not, but she didn't seem to concern herself with the outcome a great deal. Now, though? I swear, it's like she's worried the world might end if she makes the wrong move. Suddenly, every little thing she does matters, and it's stressing her out. On the one hand, I worry for my friend's health; it can't be good for her to continue worrying about how things might go. On the other... I'm a bit relieved she's taking this so seriously. Winter's rarely, if ever, spoken to me about her romantic leanings, seeing as the intimate nature of the conversation calls for... well, a closer relationship than we'd had for a few years. Now that we're actually talking about these little details, I can tell how serious she is about pursuing Yang, and knowing that an equal amount of care and consideration is being taken the other way around comforts me. However, Yang's sudden obtuseness and refusal to believe what's clear, plain as day in front of her face is vexing to the utmost degree.

Ruby's helped shed light on that. Apparently, I'm not in possession of all the facts regarding the sisters' upbringing. After Ruby's mother passed and Yang took over Ruby's care, their father shut down. I'd gleaned as much from their comments regarding their home life but I'd perhaps misjudged the duration; it seems quite clear that their father is still very upset over Yang's mother leaving him, as if he never truly healed from that loss even after all these years. In the back of their minds, the sisters have always wondered about the relationship between their father and Ruby's mother- if it was genuine love or merely a terrible coping mechanism- and that has made both of them reluctant to pursue anything serious in the romance department. It might be a fear of turning out like her mother holding Yang back or perhaps even taking after her father and falling into a deep depression if the relationship were to fail. Ruby's convinced it's just a phase, that Yang just needs a little more time before she'll come to the obvious conclusion that, yes, she likes Winter just as much as Winter likes her and they should give dating a chance.

The final bit of the puzzle is Penny, surprisingly enough. We talked a bit when I drove her over to Ruby's apartment, and she was very open and honest about how Winter's been acting when she thinks no one is looking. Penny hasn't expressed concern, per se, but she's noted that Winter will sometimes be caught up in her own thoughts, humming the tune to some high tempo song, though she usually frowns when she notices that's what she's doing, and often appears contemplative before resuming her humming. When I asked her what sort of songs Winter hums, she informed me rather bluntly that they're the kind Yang listens to- driving rock ballads with brash vocals. I'm not entirely sure what Winter does and doesn't tell Penny, so I opted to leave it at a comment on how I didn't think her musical tastes tended that way. At which point, Penny rather bluntly informed me that Winter had started listening to that sort of music because Yang did, and that probably had something to do with why she would frown from time to time about it; it probably made her think of Yang and miss her, because they don't spend nearly as much time together as Penny spends with Ruby or I spend with Blake.

Ultimately, the only logical conclusion I can draw is that I need to engineer more opportunities for Winter and Yang to interact, to help both of them get over themselves. Hopefully, with the gala just two short weeks away, I can provide plenty of excuses for just that. I'm sure they can sort through their respective issues together, in time. Absolutely.

July 10th- Dear Diary, I've orchestrated two more small gatherings. My intent is to have Blake assist me in providing Winter and Yang with plenty of one-on-one time. We'll see how it goes. Here's hoping for the best!

7 - 12

I. I gotta write this down. Fifty years from now, when I’m old and grey and can’t remember my name, I want to remember THIS NIGHT. Holy shit. Where do I start?

So, Weiss called me up a couple days ago saying she wanted to have a “game night” with Blake, Winter, and me- which, for one, surprising she didn’t invite Ruby, but Rubes is hanging with Penny so I GUESS I understand it, but even so- and I was like, sure, I’m game (I’m hilarious). Well, we get there tonight, and wouldn’t you know it, little Miss Frosty thought it would be a good idea to bust out Remnant: The Game. I INTRODUCED HER to this thing and she thinks she can beat me? AND she doesn’t bother inviting Ruby, the only person to give me hell over the years? Oh, it’s ON.

But it goes way beyond that. Because GUESS WHO starts off the night by mentioning how we’re all tragically at a disadvantage? Winter. Because of course the woman who served time in the military things she’d got the chops to play against ME.

So now I’ve already got my list of priority targets and a plan: put Blake between me and Winter, let them duke it out while I eliminate Weiss (safest bet since she always charges into a battle and never reinforces her back line) and then sweep Blake away in time to DESTROY Winter. It’s a matter of pride at this point; I ain’t gonna make it easy for her to use whatever tactical insight she might have over me to her advantage! I’ll go toe-to-toe with her at the end but I’m not about to get knocked down early!

The first few turns go exactly like I expect. Blake picks Menagerie (which, by the way, props to Weiss for getting the expansion, I really wish they’d include Menagerie in the base game) and Weiss goes for Mantle. I’ve got Vale and Winter picks Mistral- and I gotta ask her at some point to tell me some stories from there. She talks about it pretty fondly and soldiers get up to all sorts of mischief I can only dream of; she’s gotta have a few good ones. Anyway, I leave just enough of a weak point that Blake can’t resist cutting me off from Menagerie, but it also puts her squarely between me and Winter, so check THAT box. Meanwhile, I poked Weiss over in Mantle and she’s ready to make me pay. I’ve got enough good cards from my first few hands, so I’m building up my defenses in preparation for my strike.

And then Winter, this beautiful, wonderful, ridiculous woman sees RIGHT THROUGH ME and back doors her way into Vacuo, decimating the NPC defenses to establish a stronghold, completely letting Blake control the trade routes.

So, at this point, I’m impressed! But it takes more than that to beat YANG XIAO LONG at her own game!

The next few turns are pretty standard- except, like, Blake and Weiss started... HARDCORE FLIRTING. I’m not even kidding; I never thought I’d see ONE person I could describe as “thirsty as fuck but classy about it” much less TWO, but here I am, sitting front row to the “Weiss and Blake need to get a room wow” show. Winter didn’t seem to notice but, hey, I got EYES for this sort of stuff, I know when my friends are pining, and I sure AS HELL know when they REALLY want to make the first move but they’re too chicken shit. I decided to let them keep flirting; honestly, as long as they’re preoccupied with each other, they’re not giving me ABSOLUTE HELL which is pretty necessary after a few bad hands and a shit dice roll. Luckily, I’ve adjusted my defenses, so I’m ready if Winter strikes, but I think I’ll have to do the pragmatic thing and take Weiss out first. Between the two of them, Weiss is more likely to help her sis out even in a game, and I can’t fight a war on two fronts and succeed at this stage.

Then comes the moment of truth; I’ve just duked it out with Blake and we’re both weak, weak enough that Weiss COULD over extend and nearly wipe one of us from the board, and it’s an opportunity she’s NEVER passed up before. I’m ready to start cursing when Weiss goes AND ROUTS BLAKE! Like, it was BRUTAL! She ran herself thread bare just trying to reach the furthest spot BUT SHE DID IT. In one turn, Blake’s lost every territory she had, and she’s out of the game.

But then it’s MY turn, and I hit on the three cards I needed, and Weiss spread herself WAY too thin. I’m in awe at my luck. I proceeded to absolutely STEAMROLL Weiss off the map, eliminating TWO PLAYERS in ONE TURN. Like. I’ve been playing this game FOR YEARS and I’ve never seen that!

So now it’s down to me and Winter. I honestly lost track of where Blake and Weiss went after that turn; they might’ve gone to the living room or something, I don’t know, because I am FOCUSED. Winter’s got a solid hold on Mistral and Vacuo, but I’ve got Menagerie, Mantle, AND Vale. Downside: I’m stretched thin. Not thin enough for me to be worried, but I know I’ll need to commit to a front. Winter’s pretty strong, all things considered, and I can’t bank on my perks to carry the game; I know I’ve only got two turns max before Winter’s gonna to cut through my lines like a hot knife through butter and wreck all my perks AND my supply lines.

And that was when I saw it. A side of Winter I hadn’t seen before. I got to see SOLDIER Winter, OFFICER Winter, the woman who’d held lives in her hands and made the tough calls and had to find a way to sleep at night with them.

Let me just say: I’ve never seen anything hotter. The pure focus, the grim determination, just how serious she was taking it- I might know that this is just a board game but I could see in her eyes that the miniatures on the board represented more than just plastic to her. For all the strength in her posture as she looked down at the game, I could see the cracks. Winter had only attacked the NPCs in Vacuo, which are almost impossible to NOT beat; now she’d be facing off against me, and it would be harder to come out of the fights without casualties.

And- she was RELUCTANT. Beneath the confidence and pride, there was a vulnerability. She didn’t want to lose, yeah, but more than that she didn’t want to lose her troops. Winter... she CARED. About the little plastic figures, she really did, and when I pointed out as much, she brushed it off, but I could still see it. The way she picked up the dice like they were toxic and how she steeled her nerves.

When she looked at me right then, I was SO FUCKING GLAD I was sitting down because HOLY SHIT my knees went weak. This is a woman with cold fire in her veins, at once not wanting to burn but ready to incinerate, ready to do what she must but also obviously wishing she had another option.

And suddenly, I GOT IT. Like, it all made sense- how she’d had a rough relationship with Weiss when they were younger, how the military helped her see the error of her ways, her attempts to reconnect with Weiss- everything about Winter clicked into place at that moment. She’s always seen herself as someone who wanted to do something, something more, but couldn’t find a way to accomplish it. So instead, she became devastatingly good at the things she NEVER WANTED TO DO. And now she’s at a point where she CAN go those other routes but SHE DOESN’T KNOW HOW! But she’s tryin anyway, and that- I can’t even think of the words but it just, it gets me? Like, deep in my soul, I just resonate with that so much, with that burning desire to try even when you don’t know, to stumble through, but I at least am willing to fall flat on my face. Winter isn’t, at least not yet, but I think she just needs someone to show her it’s okay to stumble. Someone’s gonna be there to catch you.

So before we really got into it, I pointed out that it was really late and I have work early in the morning- which, for the record, isn’t a lie! I do have the early shift tomorrow! Then I suggested we call it a draw.

I’ve never seen anyone agree with me so quickly. Or look so relieved. I don’t think we should play Remnant: The Game again anytime soon; it’s obviously still too soon for Winter to be really entertaining stuff like that. But, damn, for what I saw tonight?

If I wasn’t already crushing so hard, I’d be worried my poor little heart would give out on me. There’s so many layers to her and every little peek just makes me want to see more! Weiss also invited us to a movie night later in the week; I’m dyin’ already to get to it!

I honestly didn’t think I could get this bad. And we’ve got that fancy party coming up! I wish I could bottle up this feeling and pull it out on rainy days. Nothing’s bringing me down any time soon!

20170715

I find myself motivated, putting pen to paper again, though for a much different reason than last time. I hope that looking back on my words might provide me with some sort of insight because, at present, I find myself too entirely possessed of a number of emotions to even begin processing them all.

Earlier this week, Weiss invited me to a game night, which seemed such a mundane and normal part of civilian life that I admittedly jumped at the opportunity. Little did I know, Yang would also be present, as well as Blake- the latter is a rather interesting character and seemed a touch intimidated when we spoke, though I’m not sure why. I’ll investigate more into that matter at a later point.

Anyway, throughout the game- a military strategy game; I should’ve expected such from my sister, rather than cards- I found myself consistently losing focus. I shouldn’t have chosen Mistral as a starting point. It made ascribing names to the figurines under my command far too easy, and with Terry’s recent transfer to Vacuo, I set myself up for a rather trying time.

And I think... no, I’m sure Yang picked up on that. She’s perceptive- and clever, trying to set me up to take out Blake while she focused on Weiss, but that’s another matter- and she called an early end to the game before things got out of hand.

Now, I’m recently returned from a movie night among the same company and I’m... conflicted. It occurs to me that Yang is friendly, overtly so, and that her actions might just be those of a concerned acquaintance with perhaps a little first hand knowledge of the trials I face. But I find myself wanting to take them as something different, as a prospective partner trying to be supportive. It’s not fair to either of us, perhaps, but I can’t seem to stop myself from doing it.

I honestly can’t recall much of the movie. I’m sure Weiss meant well, opting for a storyline with action, but the military setting... it reminded me too much of the life I’ve left behind. The fact it was a “historical” representation of one of Atlas’ most famous battles also chaffed me raw; significant license was taken in many regards, and each inconsistency piled upon each other until I was fidgeting more than I was still.

But Yang noticed and put a hand on my arm, talked quietly so I had something else to focus on during the hard-to-watch scenes. She’s such an open and caring individual; I truly doubt I’ve ever done anything worthy of her presence in my life. Even as just a friend, I am more than grateful for her.

And I had the opportunity to repay the favor. I suppose I’m the only one she feels confident speaking with regarding her birth mother; she mentioned having a solid lead on a location for her again and a few of the reasons she can’t pursue it immediately. Although Blake seemed to be of a mind that she should leave the past alone, I encouraged her to seek her own closure. I even offered to accompany her.

I’m not entirely sure she’ll take me up on the offer but I believe I saw Yang’s eyes light up, shine in a manner that I’ve rarely seen. I assured her I would be able to get the time off from work with no trouble and that Penny can always stay with a friend while I’m gone.

I don’t know what possessed me to say all that, to make the offer in the first place- I’m not sure if I can actually get the time off or if I’d be comfortable leaving Penny alone. She’s improving by leaps and bounds since she met Ruby- and she’s apparently made new friends in a Pyrrha and Nora, who appear to be other friends of Ruby’s, and Weiss seems familiar enough to not be concerned- but I still feel confident I’d stand by the offer were she to take me up on it.

I’m a woman of meticulous planning. I calculated every step, even when unexpected obstacles appeared. My plans might’ve changed vastly in the past few years but that doesn’t mitigate the work I put into making those plans to begin with.

So how could I be moved to something so rash as a trip to the border? It would be at least a day’s journey by airship, perhaps warranting an overnight stay, and if Yang had said she was leaving tomorrow morning, I’d be packing a bag rather than writing all this out.

I fear that my feelings for Yang are getting the better of my judgment. More, I’m quite certain nothing ill will come of it, and for someone who sees the danger in everything, I’m aware enough to realize I may be making a grave mistake.

But this isn’t nearly as serious as I’m making it out to be, is it? Romantic entanglements, regardless of intensity or brevity, are ultimately a surmountable challenge, a wound that can heal with time if things go awry.

What I mean is: I think my affections for Yang may go deeper than I initially thought. And even if I’m destined for heartache... I think I’m okay with that.

I’m obviously not in my right mind. I’ll not be confessing my undying love anytime soon, of course.

But I will be packing an ‘A’ bag tonight. If Yang wants to go, I will support her, and I’ll be ready to support her if she opts to go alone.

More and more of my plans are involving Yang. So, too, do they involve Weiss and Penny.

Is this what it’s like to have a family?

July 19, 2017

This is just a post to say that I am extremely nervous Because it’s two days until the party and while Fire and Ice are dancing around each other even more than before, I’m also going with Princess, and she’s been unbearably sweet the last few weeks? I’m not even sure what’s going on anymore???

Even though she absolutely destroyed me in a board game last week. Like, absolutely wrecked me. But she wrecks me every time she smiles at me, so I guess it’s no surprise there!

Anyway, I might be scarce the next few days. Enjoy the queue in the meantime.

July 21st- Dear Diary, This is perhaps premature, but I’m about to finish my preparations for the gala. I’ve been texting Blake and it seems like she’s battling a last minute bout of nerves; she offered for us to run off to a movie theatre if I’d rather not have ice cream. I suppose that means our movie nights and little watch parties are rather enjoyable for her.

I hope tonight goes well. I think it’s rather apparent that Yang and Winter are getting closer; they seem to be confiding in each other more. Only a few more nudges and they’ll be together, I’m sure of it!

P.S. ... it’s too early to tell if this was a massive mistake or the best thing that could’ve happened. I think we all learned a lesson tonight... I also need to treat Blake to a dinner... and do something for Pyrrha and Nora...

Personally? I think I’m inclined to count tonight as a win regardless. But I should contact some lawyers just in case.

7 - 21

LET THE RECORD SHOW.

I FUCKED UP.

I REALLY FUCKED UP.

20170721

When I found Penny, I learned what the phrase ‘mother’s intuition’ truly meant.

When I finally reached out to Weiss, I learned what the phrase ‘unconditional love’ truly meant.

Today, I learned what the phrase ‘I am living’ meant, because there is no more apt a descriptor for this sensation.

I’m calling Yang first thing tomorrow morning. I’d hate for her to think I might be cross about the whole debacle. To be frank, I can’t stop smiling, even as I pen this. I will relish the look on Father’s face until my death bed, and even after.

And I need to thank Weiss for making this all possible.

Right now, I’m going to drink a glass of wine to celebrate.

July 21, 2017

... I’m going to eventually make a longer post about tonight (yep, the party, just got back, though ‘escaped’ might be the better term) and you know... in my free time, I come up with as much fictional content as my fingers can produce... and if I’d read a description of tonight, I’d leave a comment about how the suspension of disbelief is a very real thing and the events portrayed completely destroyed it... but here I am, having seen with my own eyes... and I have to say...

... truth really is stranger than fiction.

July 22, 2017

Who wants the dirty details on last night? Check below the cut.

I just have to get this out. I swear, on all the fanfic I’ve ever produced, that what I’m about to describe actually happened. I know none of you are going to be inclined to believe it though. I’m still not sure I do.

So Princess’ party, the one where I was basically there to help babysit Ice and Fire. It was at this museum- because I guess that’s what the upper echelons of society think is cool, just milling around surrounded by ‘interesting’ things to make up for their emptiness; I might be a little bitter- but we arrived in grand style. Limousine, Princess escorting me while Ice escorted Fire, glasses of champagne and insincere inquiries into our health and such- if I believed for one second any of it was real, I might’ve been charmed. For all the boring small talk, standing beside Princess... I’m forced to admit there was a certain romantic quality to it.

Okay, before I go into the other stuff, allow me to gush first. Princess... I suppose it would be rather accurate to say I adopted the moniker for her at first to mock her. Then, it became something of a joke- a lighthearted tease. But last night, I swear, I am entirely sincere when I say she looked like a Princess. I could wax poetic about this for a while but I’ll try to tone my gay down a little. I dunno what it was but seeing her in such formal attire... the only regret I have is that she wore more makeup than usual. I’m not against a little foundation of course- and I... probably go a little overboard on the eyeliner and eye shadow- but it covered up her scar. Honestly, I think that is the one thing that encouraged me to get to know her, above all else; it hinted at something much deeper than what I took at face value. Aside from that, she just... carried herself differently. Regally, almost. I’ll admit, I prefer when she’s relaxed and casual- as much as she gets, anyway- but... I definitely see the appeal of her more formal posture. And, yes, for all those who asked: we did get to dance and I didn’t fall flat on my face. I mean, we spent most of it talking about Ice and Fire but... I noticed she danced much closer to me than Fire did when she was teaching me. And she felt so comfortable with me, like she was really enjoying it. That part? I couldn’t write something that magical.

Anyway, about an hour in, everyone’s moved past the polite part and the gossip machine is starting up. I think the whole cataclysm of events started with someone making a snide remark to Ice about her somewhat recent adoption of a child she’d found (I’ll admit I don’t have all the details but from what I understand it was an important turning point in Ice’s life that steered her back towards Princess and repairing their relationship as sisters) and that got Fire going. I may complain about her propensity to make puns and lewd jokes, but there’s this other side to it that people don’t really acknowledge much. You have to be extremely well versed in conversation and language to not only make those sort of jokes but to steer others into creating opportunities for you to do so; the people who best utilize it are also the ones who tend to make more puns and innuendos than any other, because they’re constantly aware of what’s being said and what lies beneath what’s being said. (A skill I am woefully lacking in, despite what you all might think; I’m certain there’s a sex joke in there that I can quite articulate but Fire certainly could. Without blushing.) With an opening created- and something of a single mother herself, considering her family- Fire went off in the classiest way, with the sweetest smile and keeping a tight lid on her anger. At first, at least.

And then Princess’ father decided to join the conversation. I’ll have tea with the devil before I subject myself to his company again. Honestly, after meeting him myself, it’s an absolute wonder anyone connected to him could have a scrap of a soul, with as black as his is. I’m just going to refer to him as Douchebag McMustache for the rest of this- I don’t really care about how long that is; the accuracy is more important to me. (And I did say it to his face, so it’s not like I’m being duplicitous.)

After Douchebag McMustache butts in, things start getting tense. Princess and Ice are cold towards him- and I mean below absolute zero. I’ve never seen either of them just... wall themselves off like that. It was terrifying, if I’m honest, because it didn’t sound the least bit like they weren’t used to it. I’m fairly certain that’s how they must’ve been for most of their lives, to everyone. Just... cold, biting, and bitter. Icebergs lingering in the dark, adrift at sea.

By that point, I... well, I was getting mad. Every word, every movement he made, all he did was cut down their accomplishments and make light of their triumphs. And all these mindless, rich, stuck up assholes just chortled right along with him, encouraging him even more to continue dragging them through the mud. I think it was when he pointed out Princess’ scar, how it must be so difficult for her to find a ‘respectable date’ given such a ‘horrific deformity’ that I snapped.

So, I did what any sane person would do in that situation. Douchebag McMustache is the CEO of a large corporation. I proceeded to list off every setback, every public affairs disaster, every little shred of doubt that might make an investor a bit nervous. And then I used his own words about me against him. He’s a racist bastard- that much I’d already known- but he decided to go the standard route of implying I must be of subpar intelligence purely because of the ears on my head. So, obviously, if someone as dumb as me can see how terribly the company is being managed, how their profits will be taking a sharp dive soon, how his ability to contain situations is severely lacking, then it’s bound to be known by the public, and then I proceeded to cite every single article and report to back up everything I’d said. I did my research before walking into that lion’s den; it took a few all nighters, but I have more than enough shade to throw on anyone who might’ve tried trading verbal barbs with me. When he accused me of trying to undermine the trust others might have in him, I admitted that I intended nothing of the sort. I just wouldn’t want to have any of my money tied up with him when those stock prices start falling, is all.

Because that’s how you get the attention of people like this. Physical harm, emotional scaring, environmental concerns- that doesn’t shake them, but mention how that pocketbook of theirs might suffer? Now you’ve got them by the balls.

I expected to get a few snide comments, some side looks, and maybe even a threat or two. I was ready for that. I don’t think Princess was- my reaction, at least, if nothing else- but... maybe it’s my optimism talking, but I swear, I think Weiss absolutely supported every word that came out of my mouth. You should’ve seen the way she looked at me then; it was more than gratitude it was... almost admiration? Perhaps something softer? The part of me that just wants to tell her that I might be falling in love with her wants to say that it was adoration and pride, but I think that’s reaching a bit too far.

Anyway, the moment it became obvious that the other guests were discreetly checking the articles themselves- and maybe even making arrangements to sell off their stocks- is when things really got out of hand. Douchebag McMustache doesn’t have the same calm, cold, steely resolve as his daughters; he got angry, and he said something absolutely disgusting that I won’t repeat. The basic gist: not only did he grievously insult his daughters, and their mother, but every woman out there, so add ‘misogynist’ to the list of ‘reasons this man is an absolute asshole’.

Now, one thing you must understand about Fire: she’s an extremely intelligent woman. She hides it sometimes beneath jokes and charm, but she’s keen. However, when it comes to almost anything, she’s more prone to acting on instinct and using her strength to her advantage.

So she absolutely walked straight up to Douchebag McMustache and said something to him- it was so low, not even I could pick it up. Whatever it was, it prompted him to take a swing at her.

And that was when he fucked up.

She decked him. Straight to the face, didn’t hold anything back, absolutely decked him. I heard the nose crunch and everything, watched him go flying back.

I’d like to say we stayed there and turned the whole party into a brawl. I’d really like to say that. But Ice immediately reacted, rushed over to Fire and told her to grab me and get the hell out of there. Which we did, because Princess is nothing less than thorough; she’d had an escape plan in place since the beginning.

After we got picked up and whisked away, Fire... well... I think it hit her pretty hard that she just laid out the father of her crush. Don’t get me wrong! I really didn’t think Ice was upset with her over it last night, told her as much, and she called this morning to confirm as much! But, ya know. I’ve mentioned Fire’s always been concerned about having an anger management problem and things like this make her worried that she’s, I dunno, turning into some red eyed rage monster or something.

I haven’t talked to Princess yet. I figure she’s going to be way too concerned about Ice and Fire to really

Well, speak of the devil. She’s calling me now. I’ll give all of you an update at some point.

July 22, 2017

I said I’d give you an update and here it is, fresh off the presses: I am very gay.

That is all. Stay tuned for more of me flailing while trying not to crush on my friend.

#TRR writes #Elderburn #Monochrome #Dear Diary Fanfic #all the guesses/comments regarding the secret ship give me life

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desmondfallout · 7 years

Text

Wereturkeys

"Heads up!"

The warning came with only seconds to react. Just long enough for Wendel to save his beer. Shame the same could not be said for the scroll he had been adamantly writing on or his vegetable stew only half-eaten. In fact, most of the picnic table rocked a good foot to the left thanks to taking on a load large enough to cover its whole fifteen-foot spread.

"Damn it, Psi! Why the flying frick did you need a...full...table?"

The other three adventurers with Wendel were equally annoyed at their lunch getting trashed. However, such hostilities were forgotten once they realized the giant boar carcass flopped into their midsts. Dang beast looked bigger than any bear or bull monster they had ever seen.

Wendel had to shimmy his way around it just to get sight of the ferret mage that had made such a deposit. His button bunny nose twitched in that agitated way that no one ever had the heart to point out was adorable. Mostly because the rogue was just as vicious with a knife as he was with their treasure earnings.

"One witches pig, delivered by sunset!" Psi stood with mage staff outstretched and chest puffed with pride. A stark contrast to the ferret's robes being torn, blooded, and generally looking like he got dragged through...really bad stuff. "I believe I just won a bet!"

"You know this town has a bounty office for a reason?" Wendel jerked his thumb to every adventurer's office for picking up quests; The Vomiting Rat tavern two buildings down.

"Ooooh no! I'm making sure YOU see it first!" Psi wagged a finger inches from Wendels scrunched up muzzle. "Not only did I purify some of the farm by myself, but I brought back dinner for everyone."

"Hang on a tic!" sputtered a ranger fox that had been at the same street table. "Are you saying you actually went to the abandoned witches farm in Northwood and slain one of her pets all alone?"

"Damn straight!" Psi gave a little bow before trying to brush back some stray head fur. This only caused a nice smear of something brown to appear across his forehead. "One lightning bolt and it went doooown!"

The other three adventurers exchanged murmurs of surprise and adulation for such an unexpected feat. Wendel would never outright admit it, but even he felt a bit of respect for his sub-par healer. Although that did not keep another thought from cropping up. "So how come you look like it dragged you through its pen on a leash?"

"Oh, that's because of the turkeys."

"....turkeys?"

"Yeah, you would not believe the giant monster animals that crazy witch left behind. A whole flock of turkeys bigger than horses were hanging around 'Big Tusks' here. I had hoped the thunder from my spell would scare them off."

The ranger gave a strange knowing grunt, breaking into a grin. "They went berserk didn't they?"

Psi tapped the little pink nose at the end of his ferret snout. Something he immediately regretted thanks to the smell of whatever was under his claws. "Thankfully I cast expeditious retreat beforehand, but the chase still ended up being rather merry. Turkeys can run surprisingly fast when they're six feet tall."

"Well, you brought back your trophy. I'd say that gives you balls of steel!" The speaker, a human barbarian decked in his own dirty animal furs, slapped Psi on the shoulder. It almost sent the scrawny ferret tumbling across the street. "This'll make a fine feast for the innkeepers to spitroast tonight. How about a round on me while we wait?"

"Thanks, but I think a little bath and disinfectant is in order first. You guys go ahead."

With that Psi snapped his fingers and was gone. No real flash or dazzling sparkles. The ferret simply went from being in front of the four citizens to being gone. Wendel almost hated the abruptness of such departures more than when mages liked showing off with sparklers.

"Well, you guys might as well earn some coppers by helping me lug this thing...hey, where you all going!?" Wendel looked around only to find the three adventurers making their way towards the Vomiting Rat for fresh drinks. Turning back towards the acclaimed giant boar, Wendel's long ears dropped across his face with a dejected sigh. Life would be so much easier if he knew magic too.

Psi himself had appeared not too far away in a blink of an eye. His currently rented apartment just happened to be one of many above the Vomiting Rat no less. They were cheap to those that could cast invaluable healing magic.

It was still nothing compared to the near-death rush of accomplishing an actual bounty for the first time. Except of course for the aftermath of cleaning up. Psi wasted no time disrobing for a good wash down and bandaging of wounds. The feeling of a sponge loaded with hot water felt divine cleansing the dirt from his fine ferret fur.

After a quick dry and changing into a bathrobe with loafers, Psi got to work cleaning his wounds. Strangely the bites were not nearly as bad as they had felt. Aside from the blood, Psi was having trouble even finding scars through his fur. Once that had been washed away it was virtually impossible to tell if he had taken damage at all. If only the same could have been said for his robes. That would take a good hour to sponge clean. At least he knew a few mending spells to fix the beak tears.

That is if his spells would actually work. Psi snapped his fingers only to be left standing awkwardly in the middle of his sparsely furnished room. Another snap barely got his robes to flutter. The open rips tugged briefly from invisible forces trying to stitch them together. Subsequent snaps accomplished absolutely nothing until the ferret was forced to collapse onto the floor heaving labored breaths. He was at a complete loss to whatever the heck was fritzing out his powers all of a sudden. The usual feeling of the worlds ether was still present in his senses, but dipping into it for spell fuel somehow became a near impossible strain. Even his strongest stuff had never left him feeling so exhausted...or feverish...or itchy.

"Wha..what the heck!?"

Sitting with legs spread on the floor made it hard for Psi to ignore the strange cramps seizing his feet. Especially with the way his shoes pulsed and bulged in very alarming ways. Both footwear warped or stretched to test the confined space of once slightly spacious coverings. They almost appeared to inflate like balloons at the toes while Psi could certainly feel things pinching until...

SHRRTTT!!

"W-what the holy hec-BWAK!"

Psi blinked in dumb bewilderment at spontaneously squawking like a common farm animal. Granted it made some sense after his feet burst out of their shoes. They had become a far cry from the delicate ferret paws he had put them in. These feet were thick and meaty, shedding fur for a complete armament of yellow scales. Black talons adorned each toe looking fit to dig through dirt. An additional toe growing out of each heel also made them super adapt for gripping.

"Bird feet? What?"

Psi’s jaw dropped watching his shoes get finished off in another growth spurt. Things began escalating from there with the attached thighs plumping up with high levels of growing fat. Itching spread over Psi’s legs that he tried to scratch only to find his hands full of shedding fur. Everything below the knee was molting to make way for shins decorated in yellow bird scales.

If only such changes had stopped there. The fur around his knees fluttered before clumping together. These little clusters would melt and puff into the beginnings of dark brown feathers across Psi’s skin. This conversion continued on up his hips without pause. Not even panicked kicks with girly screams helped halt the process. Although such harsh movements did bring attention to how his thighs were thickening out. They wobbled about with enough fatty meat to leave his shins looking like twigs. Their very girth squished harsh against each other leaving him in a permanently wide stance.

And yet those drumsticks were the smallest of Psi’s problems. It was easy to recognize those feet after spending all afternoon trying to flee a horde of turkeys. His toes had even fused into three digits, four counting the opposable ones from the heel. Looks like he had sustained dozens of wereturkey bites on his lower body to make the effects so rapid. That witch must have really liked collecting the worst beasts. If he could get to his cupboard, there might still be hope for some belladonna stored within.

"Ah...aaahh...SQUAWK!"

That became a very strong 'if’ when his butt began to inflate. Psi pulled open the bottom of his bathrobe to watch all the fur below his waist fluff into rich brown feathers. He could actually feel himself rising off the ground each time his ass cheeks swelled out again and again. Within seconds his body looked grossly disproportionate between a lanky ferret and chubby turkey. Not that he believed that would last much longer. Especially when his tail cramped and exploded into a bush of thick plumes.

"Crapcrapcrap!" Psi’s hands groped at the couch his rear had become. Its soft, plush bird feathers worked disturbingly well with the pillowed fat that held them up underneath. Using his dining table for a brace, Psi managed to slowly put one strange foot after the other on the floor to stand. His bathrobe could no longer completely cover such spacious hips. "H-help WAAK Somebody he-BWAK me! Ugh, I’m as good as the next trophy on that wall."

Well, if he was going to be a wild beast Psi was going to fight like a good, inexperienced, mage to the end. Wendel might use being transformed from an infectious bite as grounds for losing their bet.

"Wait, that’s it!" Hope washed over Psi in a torrent of warmth at such a spontaneous revelation.

That is until Psi realized it was his crotch that was collecting excessive warmth. The poor ferret's dong looked cartoonishly out of place smooshed among such blubbering thighs and hips. Even when the transformations forced arousal swelled Psi to full erection his member looked like nothing more than a party sausage between two hoagie rolls.

"Ah, haah!" Psi gasped almost crashing back onto his wobbling bird backside. Something deep inside him clenched a vice grip around his protest almost disabling all motor control. Trying to use this as a boost, he kept one hand gripped tight on the table for balance while channeling any and all magic left around him for a simple spell. If he could contact Wendel, then the bunny could fetch clerics to purify him before the curse fully set in. "We-WAAK! Wendel, I need h-h-SH-AAWK! I’m getting...getting cu..oooh GO-AAWWWKK! HELP ME PLEASE!"

That would be about all Psi could put into his message before said curse offered its own conjectures. It was hard to tell if the spell even finished being sent telepathically to Wendel. All the muscles around Psi’s prostate contracted in a hard squeeze. Again and again, this happened with no way for him to fight an increasing drizzle of fluid from his cock. It only took about a minute before the tiny member between his thickened legs tensed into a series of sharp contractions. Spurts of more cum than Psi ever thought he could produce fired off like cannon balls, decorating his dining table with thick streams of milky fluids.

And it just never seemed to stop. Psi staggered, gasping desperately for breath as his member fired off five times. Six. Twelve. His legs finally buckled around his sixteenth ejaculation. The whole floor seemed to shudder from knees hitting their expanding weight on its wooden planks. A pool of seamen already began gathering before Psi had finished falling forward onto his hands. Feathers shuddered, swishing about with each spasm of overwhelming pleasure. The ass attached to them presented itself high into the air.

"Oh...oh no!" Psi lost count of how many orgasms he had experienced, but they stopped shortly after. Shame that was no cause for relief as it became apparent there was no longer a prostate inside Psi to squeeze. That unique, male, organs purpose seemed simply milked out of existence. Far as Psi could tell only an empty space remained inside him. A space that was rapidly expanding. "OH NO!"

Psi’s muscles were too drained for anything other than helplessly looking between his legs trying to remain up on all fours. Despite all the seamen staining half his furniture, Psi’s cock remained firm and continuing to pulse as if he were still cumming. Instead, his cock was GOING right back inside the ferret's pelvis. Each hard, involuntary flex of its muscles pushed his penis a little bit deeper into the thick patch of feathers around his crotch. Its girth dwindled just as harshly until the head could barely match a pen’s nub.

"Ngggh! Haa AAWK!" One sharp tug saw the end of Psi’s cherished nut sack. The last pair of bumps that signified his manhood pulled up to vanish deep inside his feathered crotch, shortly followed by the empty bunch of skin itself. His whole butt shook in the air as Psi felt his testicles traveling up through the expanding tunnel inside him. Their purpose reshifting to suit a much larger organ at this tunnel's end.

Just when Psi thought he could not stand all his inside shifting the skin that once made up his scrotum and sac tore from the inside. A cry of alarm became lodged in his throat as surprising tingles of pleasure radiated from his new opening. The cold autumn breeze washed across his alien, yet incredibly damp, woman's vagina in just the right ways.

Psi would have stayed lost in a daze had his apartment door not chosen that time to slam open.

"God damn it, Psi! What could you have possibly done...now!?"

Wendel got two feet in the door when it registered a very large, heart-shaped, couch was blocking his path only a few feet further in. Pausing on his third step, the bunny rouge needed a few seconds to register he was actually staring at one overly bloated ass. A woman's ass no less, if the dripping pussy emitting strong musks were any indication. Needless to say, Wendel was further startled when the jiggling mass of glutes shifted so Psi’s, still ferret, face could peek over.

"W-Wendel, please, h-heeeAWWK meeeee! I...I think I’m...nggghhh! Aaah AWK!"

A loud crackling made Psi’s hands clasps on the floor. From his fingers shot out sharp talons that easily pierced through the wood. Such claws had little trouble shaving deep trenches as Psi arms jerked around in spasms. His hands themselves shedding fur off in large clumps to leave forearms covered in the same yellow scales as his bird feet.

The sleeves of his bathrobe groaned from getting stretched out around bulking arms. Many loud rips filled the apartment when they tore apart at the elbows and shoulders. Rich tufts of brown feathers blossomed out, shortly followed by the bulging hills of turkey meat they rested on. Whether it was fat or muscle predominantly filling out Psi’s rounding figure remained hard to say.

"You said those were just turkey’s that attacked you, right?" Wendel’s ears both dropped in grim dismay over his face. The bunny was already reversing his steps towards the door. Yet his legs could not find the will to break into a full run. The rooms scent was getting thick in aromas that burned his little rabbit nose, making his eyes unable to focus on anything but Psi’s enormous bird bottom. Such luscious tail feathers seemed to wave at him in an inviting dance with their butts continuous bouncing.

"Mmmh, bwk awk!" When Psi glanced over towards Wendel again, it was in a slow, deliberate display of seduction. Both were too preoccupied with the growing sense of arousal permeating off themselves to notice Psi’s ears had almost vanished into the feathers lining his head. Nor did Wendel care about the bright yellow coloration of Psi’s teeth when she spoke in a sultry voice far more pleasant than the ferret's usual squeaks. "Wendel? Baby? Awwwk. You going to stand at my door all day or you going to help stuff this turkey?"

An unexpected question, but not entirely unwelcome. Or at least Wendel thought it might not be unwelcome. He bit his lip glancing from Psi’s beckoning !stare, to her most plush backside, and then to the door behind him. Every shred of basic survival instinct said to run. Run like a mad cow with a herd of butchers behind it. And then find a place deep inside some cavernous tomb to barricade in until this crazy mess flew away.

But that pussy sure did smell tasty. It was that line of thinking that had Wendel closing the door.

"Ah, what the hell," he said with a devious chuckle. After a month of being teased by all the passing female adventurers, Wendel was eager for a bit of release anyway. Psi was at least woman enough where it counted.

Wendel had his belt buckle undone in a flash. His pants and boxers dropped around his ankles upon reaching the glorious curves of Psi’s ass. Getting this close to her dripping turkey cunny only increased his own arousal further. Hands reached almost of their own volition to rub along Psi’s hips. They were even softer than she looked as Wendel found such feathered flesh molding as dough in his grasp.

"Awk awk!"

A little expressive hip bumping helped Psi get her bunny partner back to more important matters. Namely the sensation of Wendel’s hard cock rubbing along the insides of her pillowed rear. It continued to rub up along Psi in several slow, tormenting, hip bucks. Even in a half-transformed state, Wendel would not let Psi enjoy this without a bit of chop busting.

Although it seemed to be making Psi’s insides rumble with her growing lust. His torso gurgled as it began ballooning out in all directions. The sash of her bathrobe snapped apart allowing a thick bulge of pot belly to hang out. Love handles rapidly formed along Psi’s waist causing the semi-expensive fabric to tear trying to stretch over her girth that expanded virtually with each breath.

Her stomach was not the only thing inflating under those feathers. Psi clicked her increasingly lumpy teeth at a fluttering sensation that overtook her chest. It focused firmly into pinpoints on both her nipples seconds before they popped right out of their feathery cover. They had instantly become twice their usual size and only continued to puff up thicker and wider before Psi’s eyes. The flesh behind them seemed intent on catching up to Psi’s already cannonball sized gut. Each labored pant swelled Psi’s breasts thicker, pushing her nipples into a sharp hang down towards the floor. Although they never could seem to overcome the roundness of her belly.

Curiosity had caused Psi to almost start sitting back in wanting to feel her new growths. They were becoming rather sensitive to the wind as they moved about. Tight, bloated sensations helped her realize they were also becoming rather full of milk since minute drops of moisture were forming at each nip.

Of course, Wendel chose that moment to also get a firm grip on such thick love handles to drive his shaft right into her cunt. Psi’s walls gave way with extra ease after already being intensively soaked in its own juices.

"Oooh WAAK!" Psi’s feathers fluffed up on ends, making her whole body look immensely fluffier. Wendel may have been half her size, but still excelled where it was important. That rabbit's member stretched her insides so delightfully taut as it moved testingly in and out of her. "Oh bwaaak YUSH!"

Wendel was quick to build up a rhythm to their fucking. A fancy rouge such as himself did not need brute strength when precision and endurance got a job done just fine. Once he found the right position to plow this turkey, slamming that sweet woman spot with his pulsing pink member was easy.

Their hips slapped together faster and harder, filling the room with increasingly wet splashes from between their drizzling connection. Excess juices of turkey spunk and rabbit pre pooled at their feet. Each impact from Wendel sent a violent jiggle across Psi’s fat causing her breasts to bounce off a rippling belly that almost caressed the floor.

There was almost no trace of ferret left. And what remained was losing its fight to remain prominent. When Wendel smacked his hip up against Psi’s ass, it seemed to cause her teeth to pulse forward from the momentum. Psi moaned trying to keep his lips tightly pursed. Each hump pushed hard against the thinning barrier of her muzzle. Unfortunately their fucking was not about to ease up, and before long her lips peeled back of their own accord. Her entire ferret muzzle melted away to make room for the growing turkey beak that was once her teeth. "Ugggh! Bwak awwk squawk! T-that’s...oh god, right there Wendel!"

Now a full-fledged turkey woman with the jostling body mass to rival a grizzly bear, Psi’s mind found itself in a lost haze. All thoughts could only focus on the hot dick basting her insides. Mixed juices from their grinding trickled through the feathers of her meaty drumsticks, which she tried shuffling around to grant easier access to her soft depths. Curses, bets, or even her security deposit on the floor no longer mattered. Psi just wanted to get stuffed full of warm, sweet, egg brewing fluid.

A desire that Wendel would have no trouble fulfilling. After a week of putting up with adventurers hiring him for near-death experiences, getting to smack his nutsack against such a plush ladies behind was amazingly therapeutic. Not to say anything for how wonderfully tight Psi’s new cunny was despite her size. Every inch of his pink cock got a wonderful squeezing massage as it slid along Psi's slick hot muscles. He was especially sure to grope Psi’s ass at a good angle so his shaft would rub against her clit during each hard hump. That got an especially delightful gobble of lust from the turkey.

"Oh, gods! Aha! Ngggh!" Much as Wendel wanted to enjoy riding such a pillowed birdy slut forever, he was also not in a profession well known for its stamina. Hands desperately kneaded the folds of Psi’s back. The skin of his balls tightened, pressing their treasure hard against the base of his dick in that way that instinctively caused him to pound this bird with all his remaining strength.

"Awwk! Bwaak! Haha, mah gawds!" The sudden increase in Wendel’s humping surprised Psi. Of course, she was not going to protest while it propelled her own pleasure into the heavens. It was all she could do just to remain on all fours with her fat sloshing violently to each impact on her behind. Bird claws dug desperately at the floor awaiting the sweet plateau of release. Her fresh vaginal muscles almost ran on autopilot constantly clenching down against the thick rabbit meat plunging into her, milking it for more each time Wendel withdrew.

"NGGGH!! F-FUUUUCK!"

That was about all Wendel could get out before his floodgates finally broke. The rabbit's member tightened up before pulsing hard and fast. Psi let out a series of feral squawks as she felt the warmth of Wendel's seed filling up against her cervix. Muscles worked just as hard inside her cunny to squeeze every inch out of that rabbit's member. So much wonderful warmth filled up into her womb that Psi's already bloated stomach swelled out a few more inches to accommodate Wendel's gift.

Despite Psi’s best efforts a notable amount of their excess cum still gushed out when Wendel managed to pull himself off her ass. Again, not being built for stamina Wendel’s knees buckled right after, forcing him to collapse on Psi’s back instead of her couch. Granted the feathers made her stomach a more comfortable source of bedding.

"Waak! D-dude!? You’re not as heavy as bunnies look!"

Wendel blinked through the daze of his afterglow to crane his head up. A rather angry turkey beak scowled back over the thick fat of her shoulders. "Oh hey, you’re back with us? I was starting to worry you might be going a bit wild after this."

"I’m sure you were very worried from back there," Psi said with a huff. Her gaze dropped to the scaled bird hands amid splintered wood, and then to the dangling breasts trying to wedge between her feathered biceps. With a soft coo, she reached up to gauge one of their milk-heavy weights. That simple contact was more than enough to cause a spurt of milk to further stain the floor under them "Ooooh come on. I swear if you filled me up with eggs I am totally making you buy me clothes. Waak!"

"Come on, yourself, fatass!" Wendel gave said feathered ass a smack that sent Psi jostling in a meek squawk. "You practically begged me to do it, and you still won the bet. Not my fault you had to go after some abandoned cursed magic farm."

"Bwak you!" Psi clawed a few fresh scratches into the floor. It was already as good as wrecked anyway. And her body still felt incredibly sensitive, if not embarrassingly bloated. "Yeah, well, get the waak off me already. Maybe the churches can cure a bit of wereturkey curse off me before I have to blow money on maternity clothes."

An almost mean retort started from Wendel’s lips, but a few key words of Psi’s resonated a disturbing notion. Just around the same time, a pained cramp struck his tail. "...were-turkey?!"

Wendel sent Psi face planting into the pool of their lovemaking as he pushed onto his feet in a sobered panic. Twisting around to get a view of his backside, the bunny let out a cry that cracked into the makings of a squawk. His usual fluffy little nub was starting to look sickly shriveled. What fur remained shed off to make room for the rich bush of decorative plums growing out at an alarming rate.

"Son of a...aahha...BWAAAK!"

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justteamavatar · 7 years

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I would like your opinion on something I've thought about for awhile since watching the show. The Makorra break up. I enjoyed Book 2 for many reasons, *coughEskacough* but mainly because it showed a relationship slowly fall apart, and did so in a very natural way. It wasn't just some "Hey let's break up cause reasons." The creators did a great job of showing how a shaky, unstable, rushed relationship ends over the course of Book 2. I loved how it was done. Did you feel the same way?

Ahoy there! Sorry for getting back to you late (uni is a pain in the behind), thank you for the lovely question @notorious-fim and yes, I do feel the same way about how the relationship was handled! These two characters clearly showed a strong pull to one another, but there compatibility as lovers just wasn’t there.

Everything was very new for Korra the moment she stepped foot onto Republic City. Being sheltered and trained as the Avatar her entire life likely didn’t leave her much time for social engagement and other more worldly activities. Making it into Republic City opened up a whole new world for her and it’s really no wonder that all she wanted to do was have fun, be adventurous and in some ways, be rebellious.

Seeing Mako during his pro-bending match likely ignited a new type of fire that Korra had never really felt before. He was a great pro-bender who had just won the game for the Fire Ferrets and he had the looks and well… that was enough for a girl who just got out into the real world.

What they may have hoped to be a “happily ever after” relationship just turned into a myriad of irritation, stress and arguments. And judging by their interactions in Book 1 in addition to Mako’s whole “Why is it so much easier to bust triads than it is to get through one conversation with my girlfriend?” line, constant bickering was seemed to be at the forefront of their relationship. And well, that’s not all that surprising - they both can be hotheaded, stubborn, passionate and their relationship stem from a solid, slow buildup (*cough*unlike another relationship I know and love*cough*). Not to mention that they seemed to place more emphasis on their jobs/roles than on each other:

~ Enough! Look, I have a job to do! I can’t constantly be worrying about keeping you from making another huge mistake!

~ Well, I have a job to do too, only it seems like you’re always standing in the way of me getting it done!

…

Anyways… there just didn’t seem to really be any strong foundation there for the two of them. The passion and desire was there but the commitment and emotional connection… not so much and I think the two of them realized that more and more throughout the events of book 2. Sure, they cared for and loved each other, but the relationship was far too shaky and unstable.

This mutual understanding that they had - that despite their feelings for one another, they wouldn’t work out - is incredibly mature. They were able to set aside their spark for the betterment of each other and their own happiness and out of this mutual breakup stemmed a fantastic relationship (something that we never really get to see all that often in shows).

That romantic flame between has been long burnt out, but they will always love and support each other as close friends/family members would. Not to mention that we see the devotion and inspiration that Korra has instilled in Mako, especially with Remembrances and his willingness to follow her into battle and always have her back. Seeing that loyalty grow from his awkwardness in Book 3 was incredibly and it really does show just how great of friend/presence he is in Korra’s life!

And while I’ve never been someone that’s been a fan of their romantic relationship, I do find their friendship incredibly endearing (and I could totally see Mako as Korra’s best man if/when she gets married) :).

Totally putting this here for Korra’s “:3″ face! This was a cute moment, aha. And that’s probably the most I’ll write about Makorra XD… *runs back to the Land of Korrasami*

*Also note that this is my own opinion and I have no problem with people shipping Makorra!*

#ask #korra #mako #long post #this went on for longer than I anticipated XD #that's okay though!#musings #tlok #lok #analysis

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spencerhasatwin-blog · 7 years

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Season 6, Episode 11

The first time we see Spencer in this episode is in the intro, before the opening credits, and she is reading a letter from Alison about returning to Rosewood. In this scene, Spencer appears conflicted, and perhaps frustrated. Also of note, her watch resides on her left wrist, as it does for most right-handed people (one’s watch is generally worn on the non-dominant wrist so that it doesn’t interfere with daily tasks, such as writing).

Spencer is also the first Liar we follow back to Rosewood. We see her framed in the foreground of the church which, by the end of the episode, will become Charlotte’s place of death. From an artistic standpoint, this bookends the episode nicely, should Spencer be Charlotte’s killer.

The next five scenes, Spencer is wearing the same outfit. In these scenes, her watch is on her right wrist, implying that this Spencer may, in fact, be left-handed. She also acts a little unusually throughout. Generally, when anyone speaks in these scenes, Spencer waits for others’ reactions before exhibiting one herself, as though she is waiting for a cue for how she, herself, should react. Exceptions to this include when the girls meet with Ali, and Spencer states, “We aren’t on the playground anymore. We haven’t been for a long time….” (giving Ali an extremely dark look), and earlier in the episode, when Spencer sarcastically tells her Mom during their reunion, “The family that campaigns together stays together.” At times, there appears to be a devious undercurrent to seemingly benign comments.

The first of the dialogue scenes in the episode shows Spencer meeting back up with the rest of the girls. When the girls discuss their current careers and relationships, Aria asks Spencer, “Who is Spencer seeing?” Seemingly going along with the joking 3rd person, Spencer replies, “Spencer is too busy to see anybody.” While this alone is not worthy of extra consideration, if we examine this scene through the lens of this-is-a-twin-speaking, it is a way of surreptitiously introducing this fact to the viewers for later analysis. And is it any coincidence that Spencer takes the lead amongst the girls at the end of this scene, deciding what to do next? True, Spencer has always been a pillar that the other girls can rely on, because she has a remarkable intelligence, but again, including it with everything else, it seems more significant than usual.

The next scene in which we see Spencer, she is meeting back up with her mother and going over the campaign. Watch still on the right hand, this should still be the imposter. Of note here (aside from the aforementioned sarcasm about families campaigning together and staying together) is her worried pause when her mother says, “It’s your fault I’m doing this,” as well as an odd use of the first person when she gets defensive about her occupation. When her mother tells her, “Sweetheart, you work for a lobbyist,” Spencer immediately denies this by saying, “No, we are not lobbyists, we work with grassroots political organizations to advance progressive legislation.” 1st person plural. Perhaps she is referring to her company and fellow coworkers, or perhaps she is referring to her twin (the real Spencer). If this last item is in fact the case, it would imply that Spencer knows her twin exists and has possibly been working with her. Concerning, and there are points to contradict this elsewhere, but it is certainly a possibility.

The third Spencer scene shows her meeting back up with Toby. Watch still on the right hand, and still wearing the same outfit, this would appear to still be faux-Spencer. She is a little awkward at first, appearing to ask herself, “How do I do this? How do we interact?” Explainable simply by saying, “Well yeah, he’s her ex, of course she’s uncertain.” But couldn’t she also be asking herself how the real Spencer would interact with Toby in this situation? There are subtle, instinctual understandings between two individuals who have been as close and intimate as Spencer and Toby, which would be difficult to replicate by someone who hasn’t been a part of that relationship. Notice that Spencer seems totally into Toby in this scene. She cares about him, and appears to have a bit of a crush on him. Her attitude is kind of shy, with a touch of flirty, and she does a lot of uncharacteristic smiling. Not hard to believe that a twin who has seen the real Spencer have so many things she missed out on, might covet her sister’s boyfriend at some point, too. How easy to say, “this could be me.” This would help to explain the most significant hole in the twin theory in this scene: when Spencer says, “Because I know you.” Sure sounds like something an ex would say, not like something someone pretending to be an ex would say. Unless she’d been watching Toby all this time, harboring her own feelings for him, and coming to know him from a distance.

Up next is the meeting with Alison. This scene shows a rather harsh side to Spencer. While everyone else is quietly upset, trying to be sympathetic to Ali, but rolling their eyes in frustration and still hating that this is a conversation even being had, Spencer is openly angry. Her first line in the scene is, “So Charlotte is all better now. What does this have to do with us?” As the others interact with Ali, she carefully gauges their reactions. And every time she opens her mouth, she is confrontational, seemingly attempting to ferret out the truth (“Victim Statements?” and “Who else is speaking?” and “Why isn’t Jason here?”). While the other girls are on the defensive, angrily stating why they shouldn’t be made to do this, Spencer is on the offensive, attacking Ali instead of protecting her own feelings. Of course, the nastiest comment she delivers is, “Pretty please? With sugar on top?…That’s what you say on the playground to exact a favor. We’re not on the playground anymore, Alison. We haven’t been for a long time.” Here, Ali looks hurt and vulnerable, while Spencer looks cruel and unforgiving. An odd reversal of roles for these old friends, isn’t it?

In the next scene, as the Liars stand and watch Veronica Hastings’s campaign speech, Spencer encourages the other girls to say that they aren’t afraid of Charlotte anymore. Really? After she just battled Ali on every single point she made? What I see here is a person who doesn’t like Ali, and who wants Charlotte out in the open for some reason. Perhaps so she can get to her? Kill her? As Spencer darts up to the platform for her mother to introduce her to the crowd, she is stopped by Mona. She delivers and uncertain, “Hi Mona…” and appears distinctly uncomfortable throughout the entire conversation. Mona references a time she waved at her at an event, and Spencer apologizes (As a side note not directly related to the main thread, could Mona be trying to catch Spencer in a lie? Perhaps she suspects there are two of them, and this event never took place, or Spencer really did see Mona and wave back?). Then Mona states that they’ve ended up in the same business, and Spencer looks vaguely mocking and says, “Um, not really.” Is the business being discussed politics, or the “A” Game? Maybe Spencer’s twin is insulted by the idea that Mona would consider the game she played with the liars to be on the same level as her own game, or maybe it is a private joke with herself implying the same thing. At the end of the conversation, why is Spencer so shocked when Mona asks her, “Do you still have nightmares?” Her lack of response is odd. Maybe she still hates Mona, or maybe she doesn’t know how the real Spencer would respond. Every silence or lack of response is incriminating in this theory.

We’ve finally reached a new outfit (and potentially new day) the next time we see Spencer. We’ve entered Charlotte’s hearing, where the girls speak to the judge about their feelings concerning Charlotte. Spencer is now adorned in a demure pink coat, with a watch on the right wrist, implying that this is still not the real Spencer. Spencer is up first, and she sets a precedent among the girls as having the guts to lie to the judge and say she is no longer afraid of Charlotte. Her statement opens the door for the others to follow suit. As the other girls come up to give their statements, note that Spencer is sitting on the far right of the frame, allowing us to see her during nearly every frame of each statement. At times, we can see no one else because we are so zoomed in on the person sitting at the table, but even then, we see Spencer in the background, looking over the speaker’s shoulder. Again, artistry matters for a show that gives more clues than answers, so this is potentially representative of her role in their lives: always watching. When Mona steps up for her turn, Hanna comments on her testimony being “the last nail in the coffin,” and Spencer nods along and rolls her eyes, not a single note of worry on her face. As Mona speaks, she seems truly terrified. She crumples up her paper and says she “thought she could do this.” I suspect “A” has gotten to her already. One possibility is that she defied “A,” who wanted her to make sure Charlotte stayed locked up, by speaking her actual truth: that she forgives Charlotte. However I think it more likely, based on context clues, that she was warned away from telling the judge that she was still afraid of Charlotte, but she came planning to defiantly be honest anyway. When it came down to the wire, she lost her nerve and buckled to “A’s” pressure, saying that she wasn’t afraid of Charlotte anymore. As she tells the judge this, she looks utterly unconvincing, appearing terrified even as she says it. Specifically, she says, “Let her go home. That’s all any of us wants. To have a home.” Why is this on her mind? Is this what is being threatened? Mona’s home, or family? Then, of course, she begins crying and flees the room. When Mona is emotional, it’s because she’s either acting, or not in control. My bet is on the latter in this scene. The final shot of the scene is of Spencer looking down with—dare I say—a scheming look on her face, as though she’s building up her nerve to do something. It’s a very brief shot, but it lingers in one’s mind.

The next scene takes place just after the hearing. We find Emily and left-handed Spencer sitting at a table at the newly refurbished Radley Hotel. Spencer glances around the room warily, but this wouldn’t necessarily mean anything—both Spencer and her twin have likely spent time in Radley Sanitarium (we know Spencer has, and one of the running theories about Spencer’s twin is that she spent a great deal of time in Radley, envying her sister who lived on the outside), but is suggestive nonetheless. The same goes for when Spencer is reluctant to turn her phone off. It is, in fact, a characteristically Spencer kind of reaction to have, but it could also mean more—that she has people she needs to stay in contact with for a secret plan, or that she has her phone set to automatically send out “A” messages to Mona, or any number of other things.

Later, still at the Radley, Spencer (a little tipsy) comments on how she’s missed the other girls�� faces, and that they “have such lovely faces.” Endearing if it’s Spencer, but sickening if it’s Spencer’s twin/resident doll-maker. And when the girls talk about how they need to get together more often “but not here,” Spencer opens her mouth as if she might object, before being cut off by Hanna talking about making a list of places to go and visiting each one together. She then goes on to suggest places before bitterly stating, “and Ali and Charlotte can sit in that big, ugly house and they can bake cookies.” Hatred of Charlotte? Not uncommon amongst the Liars. And anger at Ali for what she’s just encouraged them to do. But such overwhelming bitterness towards Alison seems odd. And then, Spencer is again over-the-top lovey-dovey with her friends, which is, again, endearing if it’s the real Spencer, but creepy as all get out if it’s Spencer’s evil twin, who’s spent years playing with them like marionettes.

The next morning, after the girls have gone back to Hanna’s room, right-watched Spencer is waking up hungover. So. Let’s say that both Spencers are in on this together. One Spencer could be sleeping in Hanna’s room, while the other was out committing the murder of Charlotte Drake. After all, she “didn’t think they’d actually let her out.”

And who called Caleb to come take care of Hanna? Spencer. All a part of the larger game? Right-watched Spencer meets him as he comes downstairs after speaking with Hanna. She’s familiar and comfortable with him, suggesting she’s spent some real time with him.

Flash to the funeral, where we see a very dead Charlotte lying in a very open, very prominently displayed casket as if to say, “WE’RE NOT LYING THIS TIME, SHE’S REALLY DEAD.” Not that we’re not still only 95% certain Charlotte is dead when they show us the corpse at an open casket funeral. This is PLL. Mona’s eyes were freaking open in the trunk of the car, and she’s alive (UNLESS MONA’S THE TWIN! Nah, probably not). Speaking of Mona, we get a shot of her looking insanely guilty and worked up, sitting in the back pew. You have to ask yourself, would she be feeling so guilty if she’d really told the truth, and she really wasn’t afraid of Charlotte? It’s worse when it’s a lie, because you feel like you’ve manipulated the situation into being. And Mona is far more worked up than the Liars. Contact-with-“A” worked up.

At the very end of the episode, after the funeral has ended, the girls are approached by Lorenzo, who tells them to stay in town, because Charlotte’s death has been ruled a homicide. Who looks shifty and nervous upon hearing this news? Spencer. And who’s the one who, when one of the girls says, “I want to go home,” responds with, “We are home?” Spencer. Anything to keep everyone together in the dollhouse.

You may be asking yourself, if that’s Spencer’s evil twin standing there, who is in the limo looking out at the Liars? There are a couple of options: if Spencer is really in on all of this with her twin (or possibly being forced to cooperate), the real Spencer could be in the limo. Another option is that it is Mary Drake in the limo, secretly attending her daughter’s funeral. And of course, based on the most recent episode, the last (and least likely) option is that it was Pastor Ted, coming to say goodbye to his daughter, but extremely recognizable in his old parish.

That’s it for my theories on this episode. I might do a close examination of another pivotal episode at some other point, or I might do something on a scene-by-scene basis, but most of the theories I’ve seen out there (some of them truly inventive, and in my opinion, likely accurate [Avery Drake or Bethany Young both have good chances of being Spencer’s twin]) don’t go into greatly specific detail. This seemed like a good episode to examine. Hope you got some ideas from reading!

#pll #pll theories #pll twin theory #spencer hastings #pretty little liars #pretty little theories #spencer has a twin #pll 6x11 #spencerhasatwin

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watercolourferns · 5 years

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Dorcas Outline! Might be long too...

I’m ready to type down Dorcas’ outline.

Dorcas is the tallest of my Apprentices maxing out at 159 cms (62.5in) barefoot. DON’T CALL HIM SHORTY OR MAKE FUN OF HIS STATURE, he will have your head on a silver platter and eat it with gusto if you do. Lucio will help... he’s the only one who can make fun of his shortness...

He can be sassy af, specially when crossed. Only one that can top his sassiness from the Apprentices is Zayn. Lucio is proud of his sassiness, too.

He’s mute and partially deaf. He was born mute, he’s never been able to speak. He can make some sounds, but that’s about it. He also can partially hear, as in if you speak to him in a very deep voice he will hear you perfectly. I guess he will be able to hear Muriel’s voice no problem as long as he enunciates his words and doesn’t murmur. If all fails he will read lips, though. Just speak a bit slower than usual, he will have no problem understanding you. He can feel the vibrations of music, too, and will play it at ungodly volumes because of that. Nobody really minds, except maybe Nadia due to her migraines. Lucio certain loves the ruckus.

He’s got a dirty mouth-er-dirty finge-He curses a lot!! No but really, if you cross him he will sign in such a way that Asra will cover Faust’s eyes. Of course Lucio adores that, having a foul mouth himself. They pick up words from each other and just... they are disaster together in that sense, specially if they are both angry.

Salty AF? Salty AF. But only because he hates to be told no. He can’t remember it, but his parents were over protective with him, they confused being mute and partially deaf with being completely unable to do anything and would make him remain in the house, unable to play with his peers, amongst other things like not letting him dress on his own or even cook himself meals, etc. He does retain a hate for the word no when applied to him and his needs, though. So if he expresses the want to do something and is told no, he will blow a raspberry in their face regardless who it is, sign “You’re no fucking fun...” regardless if he’s understood or not, and will be salty all day to that person. He just needs to learn that everyone’s “no” is very different from his parents’ “no”. Lucio isn’t good with boundaries either, so it’s a 50/50 “we have to grow together” situation.

HE LOVES ANIMALS. If you think Zayn loves animals, oof, you need to see Dorcas with Lucio’s menagerie. He would sleep in there if he could. He will sleep with the puppers in bed, yes or yes. He loves to snuggle with them and hear their breath. It makes him feel safe, specially if Lucio is too busy with work and can’t come to bed early.

He’s an early bird, gets up at the crack of dawn, goes to bed around 9pm sharp. He’s a very heavy sleeper, nothing will wake him up, but for some reason he will wake up as soon as it’s dawn. He says it’s because of the smell, it changes when it’s dawn and his body knows and wakes him up, that’s why he sleeps with windows open. As such, on rainy days he will not get up until someone wakes him up. Nobody will contest him on that. Lucio doesn’t appreciate being rattled awake at such an ungodly hour by this ball of energy climbing down of the tall bed, though.

Where Zayn is chill and Malakie is shy, Dorcas is an outgoing ball of energy and always on the move. Tour through Vesuvia even though he knows it like the back of his hand by now? Sure. A walk through the forest? Let’s make it a trek at a very energetic pace. Go camping with Lucio? Go camping with Lucio. Want to swim around the docks? He’ll beat you to it and you will have to pull him away from it as swimming is his passion. He doesn’t really understand exhaustion and WILL exercise himself to it if you let him. Lucio keeps a very close eye on him because of this and when he sees signs of exertion he will put a very firm stop to it. For someone who has problems with boundaries he can enforce this one pretty well. He will make sure Dorcas is well fed and well hydrated too, because in his haste to have fun and move and discover the youngster will forget to drink water or have his hourly snack. Volta and him are kitchen buddies as he has to eat a lot to keep up with his energy level; they will exchange their favourite recipes, as he’s also good at cooking, and will have snacks gifted by each other on their person’s at all times.

Due to his energy he has great stamina in bed. And will be more than happy to jump in if Lucio shows any signs of wanting to have... fun. He’s not a flirt like Zayn, but will match Lucio’s innuendos and keep up with him until he doesn’t understand one and will go all “Uh...?” about it. He doesn’t have a filthy mouth in bed like Lucio, but he loves that in Lucio so he doesn’t mind.

If he cares about you he will be eager to please. He’s not puppy-like like Malakie, but he will do anything in his power to see you happy and will go beyond expectations: He learned Lucio liked sword fights and wanted to spar with someone, so he went out of his way to learn sword fighting AND fencing AND kenjutsu just so Lucio could have a sparring partner in him. He learned Volta liked crunchy snack? He’ll go to Selasi and asked to be taught how to make the crispiest cookies, the crunchiest pretzels, the crackiest chips to keep her fully stocked. He’s just really extra that way.

He can be extra when dressing too, but the accessories and things get in the way of his energy, so he will put them aside in favour of comfortable, loose clothing. He will dress up for Lucio every now and then though.

Even if he can be salty, sassy, really extra, and have a foul mouth... he has no mean bone in his body, and will not be mean to you and he’s very polite. He’s a ball of sunshine and smiles and silent laughter, and will ask for stuff with a smile and an energetic please and thank you then throw a “FUCK this is amazing!!” in there somewhere, so if you ask him to look mean and intimidating he will sweetly and comically fail, he just can’t look or act like that, even when salty he’s not mean about it... until you hurt Lucio, be it verbally or physically. Then he turns from a ball of energy to a ball of rage and evilness. And woe the person who had the audacity of doing such a thing, they will regret it the rest of their lives. The moment Lucio’s silvery eyes look hurt or sad he will have their revenge and he will be happy about it.

On that note, he’s possessive as fuck about Lucio. He hates Valerius because of his past physical relationship with Lucio, and he only tolerates Nadia around Lucio because she’s nice to him and she’s the Countess and he’s polite. But if you so much as look at Lucio with a smidgen of interest he will cling to him for dear life and sign “He’s fucking mine, back off, you little shit!” as many times as it’s necessary for you to get the point across and leave the vicinity maybe even Vesuvia for good, and Lucio loves that. He will react a little bit like that with Volta, too, but he understands their just best kitchen buddies, and will let Vulgora whisk her away when needed. He’s just really possessive of the people he cares about very deeply. Don’t get me wrong, he cares about Asra as well, but not on the same level as the other two.

He loves Camio, and is very sad he can’t teach him how to say stuff to Lucio nor can he understand him when he’s squawking too shrilly. Regardless they share a weird bond Lucio is sometimes jealous over.

His favourite colours are jeweled tones of blue, red, and green. He doesn’t like wearing silver nor gold, but will wear brass and copper. He has matching pyjamas with Lucio, but mostly will wear the top of any pj’s Lucio is wearing, no questions asked. They are huge on him, but he loves that.

He hates kale with a passion. Does’t care who serves it to him, he will always give it to Volta, ALWAYS. Lucio could’ve spent hours cutting it up for him and he will only take a minuscule bite of it and then pass it to Volta. He just can’t stand the taste.

He loves junk food though, the saltier, spicier, greasier it is, the better. Wanna get this kid to eat his veggies and fruits? Bribe him with fried shrimps, there’s no other way to do it.

His magic is electric. As in he can channel electricity, create bolts with his hands, turn on bulbs, you name it. He’s a walking Tesla bobbin. Very apt for this ball of energy. He can lose control of it if he’s too stressed out, though, and if you touch him he will zap you a bit, like static electricity zaps. His hair will stand on end on those days, also in rainy days... so it kinda makes it hard to know which day it is unless you either ask him or can read his face. If he gets too too angry... well he hasn’t gotten THAT angry, but I don’t think it will be too good for anyone.

He’s got a familiar, who is a chocolate mitt ferret. His name is Sedendum, means lighting in Latin. He just loves his ferret, and they match each other in energy. He always carries it on his shoulders.

Dorcas is bidemisexual. He likes both binary genders, but can only have sexual attraction to people he can create a strong bond with first. He isn’t sexually attracted to Volta though, it’s a strict, kitchen buddy business there because he figures she’s with Vulgora, and he can’t figure out how polyamory works due to his possessiveness. As such, he’s strictly monogamous, so Lucio is his and he’s Lucio’s. No other way around it. Yep... longer than I expected as well...

#Dorcas the apprentice #he's just a sweet ball of energy #love him too?

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canvaswolfdoll · 8 years

Text

Am I a Reader?

I seem to somehow garnered a reputation as a ‘reader’, even though I don’t think of myself in such terms anymore. Others may see me as such because I am writer,[1] but, to be honest, I don’t really read voraciously as I once did.

But, hey, I’ve talked about my history with various other interests, why not add what my life with books has been to that list?

I grew up in a house of books, parents reading for entertainment, excited to get to first grade and finally learn to read myself. Literacy was always seen as an important skill to possess, something to grant you entrance to the full world, and even other worlds.

My parents weren’t particularly restrictive with the television, and there was no demonizing of watching it. They merely led by example with media, outside some reasonable policing of content, which is important.

Also, PBS growing up was airing Reading Rainbow (boring and dumb)[2] and Wishbone (awesome incarnate). So even before I could read, I was being introduced to not just the thought of being able to read, but literary classics! Simplified versions, yes, but Wishbone and his costumes were more there to give the general impression of the story and the sense of grandeur that literature carries.

One of my favorite childhood toys is a Wishbone plushie. The show really means a lot to me, and I am still massively disappointed I’ve never seen the Phantom of the Opera episode in full! Gah!

Anyways, everything growing up taught me that being a reader is a noble and admirable trait. There was nothing more insulting than hearing a friend, someone I was supposed to trust, claim that reading is dumb and boring!

So, I learned to read, starting with picture books, and working my way up as I felt comfortable. The first series that won my heart was Nate the Great, a series about a child detective giving noir-esque narrations as he solved mysteries over plates of pancakes. Good books, everyone should a read a few of them.

Of course, considering the era when I was a youth, Harry Potter eventually crossed the horizon, establishing the all-consuming franchise and consuming us all!

I’m reviewing those books!

Anywho, my older siblings started reading the books, and I soon followed suit by the promise of there being a werewolf in Book 3! There was!

I finished book 4, and I faced, for the very first time, the wait for a new installment. Up until then, book series weren’t something I had to express patience on. I never had to worry about a continuing narrative that I can’t immediately access, or the concept of stories not yet published. They’re supposed to just be at the library, waiting for you to discover.

And it was that big wait between Goblet of Fire and Order of the Pheonix. Small Canvas didn’t have the patience for that! So, I grew distant from the series, and didn’t pick it up when the next book finally came.

Instead, I read a few other miscellaneous books, before coming upon Redwall.

This was, of course, spurred by my brother reading the series, and me quickly deciding to follow suit. It’s cute tiny animals waging bloody war! What’s not to love?

Redwall’s an… interesting series. It left quite the influence on me, both for what it had (rich and specific descriptions of food[3])and what it lacked (moral complexity). Because one thing that bothered me, even when I was young, was that the “good” critters were always good (mice, otters, squirrels, hares, and so forth) and the “bad” vermin were always barbaric evil (rats, foxes, and ferrets[4]). Besides voles, there were no grey areas, and that just seemed unfair. Why can’t a rat be a good guy? Why can’t a hare scheme to take the Abbey? Why did Veil get such a sour deal? Poor kid was actively despised by his adopted family, acted out because of it, went to meet his father, who then betrayed him, and then the mousemaid who raised him goes back to the abbey to preach about how unsalvageable he was! It was nothing less than a tragedy.

Plus, Swartt’s the only main ferret baddie the series ever got, so even that’s disappointing in retrospect!

Oddly enough, I’ve never actually read Redwall the book, starting instead with Marlfox and jumping around as I saw fit. In fact, I don’t think I’ve read any of the particularly big books of the Canon (Redwall, Mattimeo, Mossflower, and so forth). Just never could manage to get through, especially when the one time I tried to read the first book, it vanished under mysterious circumstances after I left it out during recess.

That mystery was never solved.

Soon, I tired of the formula of Redwall, and stopped reading the series. In middle school, I switched to comics (both web and print), and nudged at a couple fantasy books, but I don’t think I latched onto anything in particular. I did get through the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series, as well as Phantom of the Opera (finally), but no long running series.

I think I may also have tried Lord of the Rings in middle school, but it was unreadably dull and tedious, and to this day I cannot get through any rendition of the narrative.

Because Lord of the Rings is bad storytelling. Even had a friend who dreamed of being an author when he grew up, like me, and he loved the series, and tried often to get me to try it.

Nope.

An interesting thing I like to gloat about is how I got through school without once completely reading any book assigned to me, served mostly by taking in the teacher’s lecture on the assigned reading afterwards, and my own internal understanding of narrative. Now, I don’t actually suggest anyone do this, but the fact of the matter was I preferred to read by my own volition, read generally slowly, and have no fondness of the dead frogs that is the literary canon.

It's a comparison I often like to draw. A good story is an artistic expression, carefully crafted in hopes of invoking emotions from the audience, and, in doing so, creates a sort of magic.

But then there’s literature, or, rather, literature classes, which take books, once vibrant and engaging, and begin to dissect them, dissemble the pieces and analyze them, label them, and define terms and reverse engineer the functions. Sure, this can help give you an understanding of storytelling and thus maybe appreciate other stories more, but once you cut it open and dig around, even if you put it all back, you’re still left with a dead frog, the life gone and irretrievable.

Literature is just another name for dead books.

So I don’t tend to become invested in school-assigned reading for that reason. Besides, reading things that mock the literature is much more interesting!

To the point that I somehow ended up reading Wyrd Sisters as my class was covering Macbeth. So that was fun.

As previously discussed, during high school my attention came to the Discworld books. As they were very good, that’s almost entirely what I read, with occasional detours to the Haruhi Suzumiya books just to see what was happening there.

You can just read my essay on Discworld to get my full thoughts on the topic.

However, I was less thrilled by the Haruhi books that I did read.

I don’t know if it’s the source material, or the translation, or what, but the first couple books are a little tedious to read. A weird mixture of showing and not telling, while also being overly vague about certain things, as well as excessive use of the passive voice, makes the books very dull and uninteresting.

May not have helped that I felt obligated to read them to bridge the gap between the first season of the anime and the movie.

When I was in school, I’d always carry my reading book around, sometimes reading it under my desk instead of paying attention in class, though that became harder to do as I got older and teachers began to care if I was paying attention.

However, after graduating High School, I eventually stopped having whatever paperback I was reading in my coat pocket, and…

Quick aside, I prefer paperback books, at least when it comes to novels. They’re more comfortable to hold, take up less space, are lighter, and… I don’t know, it’s just my preference. I don’t bend the cover back or anything. I’m actually rather obsessive with the up keep of books, and try to keep them in pretty good condition (though spines are, admittedly, hard to maintain). It even seems blasphemous to write in the margins, or highlight. I can’t bring myself to do it, and it really irritates me when I see such things in books.[6]

Anyways, eventually it came that my reading occurred before bed, if I felt like it and am reading. There’s just so many other media vying for my time, that I can’t fit it all in. So many shows to try to get through, webcomics to follow, video games to play, and my own stories to craft and show no one.

So… yeah. I still read the occasional book. Making up for Harry Potter now, and between those books I’ve been making my way through the Spice&Wolf light novels (some of the same problems as the Haruhi books above, but not as bad)[7] and the Log Horizon Light novels are interesting from a world building perspective, though the formatting has a lot to be desired.[8]

However, it’s not as voracious as it once was, so I have a hard time to committing to the identity of “reader” anymore.

But, hey, it’s what people make of you sometimes.

Kataal kataal.

[1] As this post probably goes to show. [2] Yeah, I said it. I didn’t like it as a kid! I don’t care what random children had to say about picture books! [3] I am incapable of handwaving food. I’m compelled to specify what’s being eaten. [4] Am I still heavily associated with ferrets, or has that changed? I can’t keep track. [5] And I don’t recall if I ever bothered to talk about them in the CanvasWatches on it. [6] I bought a copy of Huck Finn specifically because the school supplied copy was just drowning in highlighter ink. Didn’t read it, of course, but still, what monster does that? [7] Also, I may be scheming to steal some of the plotlines for RPGs. [8] It rarely says who’s saying what! Come on, this is basic writing!

#CanvasRambles #CanvasReads #books

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