#also crowley has a sick eyebrow scar now

[blairamok]

if you’re interested in my figure skating AU, i’ve started compiling things over on ao3! it’s still mostly just artwork at this point but i’m including bits of writing for some pieces and will update with notes and other things i’ve written about it so far!

[bouqetofpoppies]

Beelzebub and Gabriel were sitting on a park bench in St. James Park, waiting for the demon and angel of the hour to appear.

"I doubt you are correct." Gabriel grumbled.

"I doubt you are correct." Beelzebub mocked, pulling at their fishnet socks nervously.

"You could be a little nicer." Gabriel rolled his eyes, spreading on the bench with his arms over the back.

"I'm a demon, I'm not nice." Beelzebub hissed.

"That's obvious." The demon of gluttony ignored him at this point, pulling a lemon from their pocket and biting straight into it.

They went back to sitting in silence, Beelzebub pulling their feet up under them. With the way they were sitting, they almost resembled a couple.

"How are you?" Gabriel eventually asked, shocking Beelzebub into looking up at him.

"What do you mean?" They asked the archangel.

"How have you been since the traitors foiled the Armageddon?" Gabriel repeated. The demon was silent for a moment.

"Fine, I guezz. By demon standardz." They eventually mumbled, continuing to eat their lemon, peel and all.

"That's good. Why do you eat human food?" Gabriel asked them.

"I'm the demon of gluttony. I also sleep." Beelzebub said.

"Really?" Gabriel seemed shocked.

"Yes." Beelzebub said as if he was stupid. They descended into silence again.

Beelzebub looked around and took in the sights and smells and sounds. They thought it was slightly romantic and cute and would have blushed if they hadn't seen their targets right at that moment.

"There." They said, their hand coming down on Gabriel's thigh. They didn't notice, but the archangel looked down at the tiny hand gripping his muscular thigh and flexed it slightly so that they could feel the muscles.

He looked up when he realized they weren't focusing and saw Crowley and Aziraphel sitting on a bench across the park but close enough to see.

Aziraphel held a book in his lap, and balanced in his hands were a cup of tea and an eclair. Crowley wore his signature sunglasses and held a small bottle of wine.

"They don't look like they are having... intercourse." Gabriel whispered.

"Just watch, Angel." Beelzebub snapped. Gabriel raised an eyebrow and fell quiet.

As they watched, Aziraphel and Crowley seemed to get closer and closer to each other, smiling and laughing and talking like they were the only people in the world.

"Beelzebub, I don't they are-" Gabriel said, but stopped when Beelzebub squeezed his thigh hard, causing them to look up.

Crowley reached out and gently turned Aziraphel's face towards him, pulling him into a kiss that was gentle and soft. Aziraphel turned bright red and kissed back, and that was where the sweet kiss ended.

Crowley practically pulled Aziraphel on top of him as they made out, and with the subtle rocking of Aziraphel's hips, it wasn't hard to guess what they were doing. They eventually pulled apart and practically ran to the Bentley.

Just as they sped away, Beelzebub turned to Gabriel with a smirk.

"I believe I just won the bet." They teased. Gabriel would have pouted, but he was the archangel.

"Okay, you won. What do you want?" He sighed. The tiny demon thoughts for a second before smiling.

"When the next meeting comes around, where a white shirt with red letters that says, "I'm Archangel Fucking Gabriel" on it." They smirked. The next meeting between the two of them, the other demons and angels would also be here.

Gabriel looked confused before shrugging, "If that's what you want."

Beelzebub grinned, showing slightly yellow pointy teeth. They brushed a stray lock of shaggy hair out of their face and behind an ear. Gabriel smiled softly.

The sun was setting now, throwing pinks and golds and oranges across the sky. A few of he colors played in Beelzebub's crystal blue eyes like they were miniature sunsets all on their own. Birds and fireflies and a cool breeze made a soft melody only they seemed to hear.

Beelzebub looked up at Gabriel and thought that he, dressed all in white and being as large as he was, looking beautiful against the sunset and with fireflies reflecting in his eyes. They looked like miniature galaxies.

They seemed to move closer to each other, only slightly, but definitely closer. He smelled of roses, they realized. They smelled like sulfur, and though it reeked, he didn't seem to mind. They felt cold, he felt warm.

It was almost cliché- Just as they were drawing even closer, his phone buzzed. He picked it up and checked the contact: Michale.

"I have to go." He said, standing up abruptly and breaking the cliché moment. Beelzebub could only nod before he was gone.

————————————————————————

The day of the angel and demon meeting, Beelzebub was a nervous wreck. Their plan has to work, it had to. Maybe Gabriel would understand this time.

As the demons walked into the room and sat down, Beelzebub could see that Gabriel was wearing the shirt. The angels and other demons seemed slightly confused by his choice of clothing, but said nothing.

Nobody noticed or said anything about Beelzebub, even though they were the most radically changed: Their hair was combed into a sexy shaggy mess, they were foundation and concealer and eyeliner, their baggy pants were replaced with black skinny pants, and they wore a black choker. The only similarities to their original clothing were the fishnet socks, slightly heeled black boots, and red undershirt and black jacket over it.

Right before they sat down right in the middle of all the demons and right in front of Gabriel, they took the jacket off to reveal a red t-shirt with white lettering reading, "I'm Fucking Archangel Gabriel."

As soon as they sat down, every eye was on the two of them. Gabriel was glaring at Beelzebub with a bright red face, and they simply smirked and started the meeting.

As the meeting went on, Beelzebub noticed each and every glare and snide comment and even how Gabriel looked at them, and very quickly their confidence chipped away.

Their smirk slipped off and they didn't talk. They stared at their lap. They had shown up and thought they looked good... except they looked like a mistake. Right as they said he last word, they got up and grabbed their coat, walking out.

They turned around when they heard footsteps.

"What. The. Hell." Gabriel hissed angrily.

"I was pulling a prank." Beelzebub said monotonously.

"That was no prank, Beelzebub. That- That was stupid!" Gabriel yelled. "Why did you do this?!"

"BECAUZE I LIKE YOU AND IT WAZ THE ONLY WAY I COULD TELL YOU!" They shrieked angrily. Glancing around him, they noticed the angels and demons gawking at them. Asmodeus looked like she just realized something, Michale and Uriel looked sick. When they looked up at Gabriel, he looked sick.

"Excuse me?" He whispered.

"I-I like you Gabriel..." They whispered. They heard gasps and gagging behind them.

"What the hell?!" Gabriel took a step back. "What do you mean you like me?!"

"I mean... I mean I think I... I think about you all the time. You make me smile, you make me happy, you make me feel powerful. You don't bow down, and you actually challenge me. I mean I really really like you Gabriel." They confessed, cheeks red and eyes bright. There was silence until he whispered his response.

"I hate you."

Beelzebub froze. Their heart stopped. They felt cold. They felt like their entire world went black. Gabriel continued talking.

"Why would you ever think I could love you? You're a disgusting, ugly demon. You're horrible. You're a demon. I'm an angel. Why would I ever stoop so low as to even think of you as anything more then an enemy?" He hissed. "I hate you. I'm humiliated I'm even talking to you. I. Hate. You."

Beelzebub was shaking now, even paler if it was possible. They couldn't see. Their heart was broken, their world was dark, they couldn't breath, they couldn't hear. And then they could.

A heavy, loud sob ripped out of Beelzebub's throat, shocking even them. They began crying hard, holding their throat and backing away from him.

"Beelzebub-" Asmodeus reached for her sibling, but the shirt demon turned on their heel and ran out.

————————————————————————

Beelzebub was sitting in a dark alley crying their heart out. Why were they crying? Why did it hurt? Why couldn't they get him out of their head?

"I. Hate. You." It played over and over in their head, his voice bringing more and more sobs. They wanted to curse him, to have him, to kill him, but they couldn't.

They had even dressed up. They looked down at the red shirt and started ripping it, ripping it off and leave their flat, scrawny, scared chest bare. They ripped off the choker and kicked off the boots, scratching at their pants and scratching and pulling at their hair, banging their head against the alley wall.

Suddenly, they let out a devastated scream of agony. They hated themselves. It was their fault Gabriel hated them, couldn't stand them, thought they were ugly. Their tears washed away the makeup and showed their scars.

Beelzebub curled into a ball, feeling even smaller than they were. They put their coat on and laid their head on a crush box. They still shivered and shook with tears as they fell asleep.