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miraeluc · 4 years

Text

you have an eating disorder

prompt: “you never had issues with food - that is until your boyfriend makes a remark about your weight.”

pairing: katsuki bakugo x female! reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings: MAJOR TW!! anorexia, there’s swearing

genre: fluff, angst

NOTE: this is not proofread at all and it’s kinda short, i was struggling to finish it a lot, sorry :(

you were never one to pay special attention to your diet or anything

life is short, why spend it worrying about how your body looks?

food is food man, and you need it to live

there was no fun in dieting either, it’s not like you were ever fat anyway - with daily training you were in shape!

sure there were thinner girls, but like i mentioned, you just liked enjoying food without having to worry about losing weight all the time

your boyfriend, bakugo, just does not know how to express himself

he’s not the type to really pay any mind to your figure, he finds you pretty anyway

and its a plus anyway - whenever he feels full he can just push his plate towards you and you’ll gladly finish it for him

that is until one day

you were sitting with the baku squad at lunch

mina was telling you about a new tiktok trend she had stumbled upon and found hilarious

denki was currently fighting for his life against bakugo after saying his hair looked like he was just hit by an electricity quirk before he proceeded to zap him lightly

kirishima was regretting all of his life decisions when he decided to try and help denki

sero was just sat there,, recording it so he could show them just how stupid they looked afterwards

kirishima finally managed to pull said angry-boy away from kaminari

you always said he’s like a little angry pomeranian when angry lol

back to the plot omg i got carried away

after bakugo was calm enough to take his initial seat beside you, he was already too full and just overall not hungry

so he pushed his plate towards you

“eat up, fatass.” he grumbled out

you just looked up at him with wide doe-eyes, not expecting an insult to slip off his tongue

it was bakugo, what’d you expect lmao

you looked down at the plate, suddenly feeling very not hungry anymore, instead pushing the plate away as you grabbed your bag to stand up

“actually, i’ll head up to my room, i feel a bit sick”

you immediately left after that, not seeing the confused glances the table exchanged, mina smacking bakugo’s head

you went to your room and laid down, not knowing why bakugo’s comment had made you feel upset

you never get upset when he makes dumb remarks!!

so why now!!

you realised it when you were stood in front of the mirror, shirt lifted, staring at your own body

you did gain some weight.

you were upset at yourself because you usually didn’t mind!!

you know weight fluctuates, you know the small amount of chub you have will eventually pack it’s little bags and leave again

but it hurt because you wanted to be pretty for your boyfriend.

how could you be when he says you’re a fatass?

eventually, you ended up scrolling through your phone, looking at thin girls all day

you also looked up a few diets that worked very fast

by the time bakugo was aggressively knocking at your door you had closed all of the pages you were previously looking at

as soon as you swung the door open he strutted in, seating himself on your bed

“what was with you running off at lunch today?” he looked at you

you were still stood at your door like.... mm ok i guess make yourself at home

“huh? i told you, i felt a little sick.” you mumbled, closing the door again, it was getting late and you were not looking to be beheaded by aizawa

he scoffed “if you say so.” he laid down, kicking your blanket to the side

“i brought you some snacks - incase you got hungry..” he said, his face looking like >:(

he didn’t get them because he knew you liked them and wanted to make you happy! not at all!!

he just didn’t want to put up with you being whiny

that’s for sure the reason

you giggled, throwing yourself ontop of him - sounds of protest coming from him but he did wrap his arms around you

“since when are you so nice, katsuki?!” you teased

lol wrong move

in 0.01 seconds you were flipped over and held down as he started tickling you

“i’m not nice!”

the next morning you left extra early to avoid getting breakfast with bakugo

he didn’t seem to be bothered by it, he also has days where he just doesn’t feel like eating early in the morning so

it does start to bother him when that one day of skipping breakfast turned into every day

his google search bar is like

‘why does my gf not eat’

‘do girls not eat breakfast’

but this bitch is also too scared to approach you at first because he doesnt want you to know he truly cares

his ego is still too high for that

but you know better

you know he cares but sometimes you don’t feel good enough for him

you can’t help but compare yourself to other girls at your school

you distance yourself unknowingly, lost in the counting calories and exercising every day

everyone but you notices that you’re literally spiraling

you don’t notice that you look sick, skin paling and cheekbones getting more prominent every passing day

you don’t notice the growing eyebags under your eyes

all you notice is other pretty girls and how you want to look like them.

at first, your friends decide to give you some space, thinking that maybe you have to fix this within yourself and need space

and you do, but someone needs to snap you out of your little bubble

that someone is bakugo

so it goes like this

during training, he noticed your legs being a little more wobbly than usual

and he noticed that you were unfocused, not being able to dodge all of the enemies attacks

but something inside of him snaps when aizawa has to stop the fight because you were not even fighting back anymore

before aizawa even arrived in front of you, your world went black and you collapsed

bakugo was so angry at your training enemy

didn’t they fucking see your struggle??

did they really have to be stopped by their teacher??

would they even have stopped if it werent for aizawa??

probably not

but he didnt have time to go and yell at them because he was running towards you

aizawa let him pick you up

“bring her to recovery girl.”

of course he did

everyone watching was so shocked

because bakugo didn’t let out a sound the entire time

his face was pulled into a frown, as usual, but he wasn’t speaking- no, yelling

he showed past his classmates, walking towards recovery girl’s office

“ribbit, why was he so quiet?”

recovery girl was like ?!?!?! what the fuck happened when was the last time she ate

she had to give you a total parenteral nutrition

(that means nutrition/fluids are delivered into your body via a catheter placed in a vein of your body, usually lower arm)

when you woke up bakugo was sat next to the bed, reading the back of some medicine bottle he found there

when he noticed you awake he perked up a little, shoulders visibly relaxing

“what happened?”

he narrowed his eyes, wondering for a second if you were serious

“you’re starving yourself to near death, that’s what happened.”

you immediately grimaced

“did i pass out in front of everyone?”

“is that seriously what you’re worried about?!”

you remained quiet, looking away

“y/n, look at me.” he gently guided your head to face him

“i don’t know what drove you to do this to yourself, but i need you to stop. you’re going to die if you don’t stop. what idiot made you think you need to do this to yourself?! i’ll kill them!”

“you told me i was a fatass”

his jaw dropped

fuck

“you know i don’t mean when i insult you! i hide the fucking fact that i WANT you to eat by using insults! i’m so sorry..”

his voice went soft at the end

he truly felt so bad :(

he was the one that was supposed to protect you from others hurting you yet here he was, being the one that caused you to hink you weren’t worthy enough

“i know, but there’s so many much more prettier girls than me, i was afraid you’d lose feelings if i wasn’t thin enough.”

“are you kidding?! you’re the only one i have eyes for! all those other extra’s can fuck off, i don’t give a single shit about them!”

you were kinda tearing up

“do you promise?”

god, he felt so bad.

he sat on the edge of the bed, reluctantly pulling you in a hug

“i promise”

from that day on he made sure to remind you to eat meals, even if it was just something small

he ripped everyone’s heads off if they made a comment about your eating habits and/or weight

and he made sure you were the only one he loved

the day he saw you collapse something broke inside of him

it opened his eyes that hiding his emotions from you wouldn’t help you in your relationship

so while he supported you to build your feelings of self-worth and eating habits, you helped him start to open up, teaching him that showing emotions wasn’t embarassing

no one else knew how soft he could get with you and it should stay that way

you had a long way to go but it was all worth it in the end

he was your little angry pomeranian <33

requests: open

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#bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #eating disorder #eating disorder recovery #bnha fluff #bnha angst #denki kaminari #eijiro kirishima #mha fluff #mha angst #bakugo angst #bakugo fluff #bakugo drabble

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icecreamkink · 3 years

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watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD.

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo, lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass, shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is, the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’, “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it.

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out!

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha.

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying*

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE, and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof

and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. )

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :(((((((((

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf

wwx: fucking w demonic energy jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch??

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no.

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go.

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. . . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg . spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . .

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like ? ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also so thrilling (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say)

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris.

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng. being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance.

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all??? amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD.

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future

one of the ?? things i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE.

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???”

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn.

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding.

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever

BAT WEN NING

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock”

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face.

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself!

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe.

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities. *longest oh boi ever*

#m.#ANYWAY #ENOUGH TALKING #THIS IS SO LONG #LOL #but whatever this is MY performative journaling i do what i want #rambling impressions abt what i watch is a thing i do now? apparently??#cql #untamed #the untamed #fun fact that chat is named 'k keeps on babbling abt the untamed' and it STILL wasnt enough #also it took me 15 episodes to realize lwj was yibo #IT WAS V SHOCKING #i did not recognize him at a l l #but in retrospect he WAS the perfect choice

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t0th3-ark · 3 years

Text

Introduction Page!

Hello ladies, gents, and everyone in between, I'm Aster! Welcome to my fanfiction and brain rot page (mostly Mobius content). Some fun facts about me are *drumroll*:

18 yo. (my birthday is in May)

Non-binary, Bisexual here! (they/them or sometimes he/him is preferred.)

I'm going into my first year of college in the fall (oh lord).

My favorite color is either black or pink. It's a tie. (I know two different ends of the spectrum)

I graduated high-school this year (2021)

I work at cRAckEr BArrEL in the little shop they have at the front. (it's quite fun ngl. I get payed $10 an hour sometimes thats not enough to deal with ppl's shit and sustain how much I spend.)

I've only had one other job and it was at Kohl's (good lord that place gives me bad dreams).

I have like 4 friends and they all live at least 45 min+ from me same with online friends. (I'm lonely give me attention.)

I live in Texas were it's as hot as the Devil's anus iykyk. It's usually around 90 degrees on a regular basis. They all of a sudden it will be 2 degrees in the middle of spring. (Don't move here -1/10 do not recommend.)

It took my three ½ years to get my official driver's license and when I did it expired without me knowing and I drove with an expired license for a month. (BUT, I didn't get pulled over!)

I'm a SSB™ (simp since birth). I simp for a number of fictional characters such as, Mobius (that's obvious), Geralt of Rivia, Will Graham, Loki, Obi-Wan Kenobi (that one's slightly embarrassing), and others I don't remeber atm.

I have only started to gain confidence to post what I write on here. I will be making a request page for you guys to make requests on.

I've been writing fanfiction since I was a wee little 12 year old. Yes, I know, gross. I was really into Doctor Who fanfiction at that time. I wrote everything on paper cuz I didnt have a phone. (My parents found it recently. I almost "yeeted" myself out a window.)

I love frogs, rats, mice, and turtles (basically any goblincore-ish animal).

The energy I give off is bascially chaotic mentally-ill simp™.

I honestly would write for a living but nobody gets paid enough to write fanfiction .

So instead I'm a visual arts major but that's to be determined.

All of my tiktoks are cringy, change my mind.

I was obsessed with mermaids as a kid, as all children 2015 were. I even made potions and a fake mermaid tail. I was committed, okay?

I'm a 2003 baby in case anyone was wondering.

I have a few hobbies including: art (drawing, learning digital art and painting), music (listening and singing), being in nature, collecting random things in the woods (bonez), watching TV, social media (?), driving around, shopping (rETAIL THERAPY), fashion/makeup/hair, reading (occasionally), and of course writing.

Gator Loki is superior (I love u gator loki 😤)

Single since 2003 🤞🏻(someone PLZ end my suffering (jk)).

I'm the bitch that barks at people who make me 🌌uncomfy🌌.

I will be your partner in crime if asked. (Also will be your bestie)

My sense of humor is horrifyingly unfunny.

Wanna lie under the stars and watch marvel movies on a projector screen 🌟outside🌟?

I'm horribly shy and introverted in person.

Don't worry, I'll get on your nerves by asking if I'm annoying and saying sorry every five seconds.

People say I give good advice 🤷🏻?

So I think that's all. I may add more. Can you tell I'm a chaotic writer?

If you want to follow me on other platforms here are my usernames:

tiktok: aster2305

instagram: aster.leee

(those are the only two I use frequently but if you don't feel comfy adding me on either, you can always pm me here and I'll be glad to talk!)

I love all of you dudes that support my writing and I hope you're day is fantastic! 🤍

#introduction #mobius #fandom #fanfic #loki series #loki laufeyson #mobius x reader #writing #introvert

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theem0fangirl · 4 years

Text

And it only took one video (Finn wolfhard x OC)

Grace is not an ordinary girl, to say the least. All her life she was shaped to be the girl next girl that everyone just simply adored, you know?, at least that’s what her parents wanted. She ended up being the complete and total opposite.

I bet her parents didn’t expect her to be the girl that stays up till three am questioning her life choices as she blasts Mr. brightside on full volume. They didn’t even expect, not one bit, that their daughter would become an internet sensation AT ALL.

“Oh my god, Grace, did you see the views on your new video?“ Her best friend asked, they were in a group call through facetime. Grace had to use her laptop to video chat with them. She met her friends when her videos started blowing up on the new app called tiktok.

“No, Milly, i haven’t seen it“

she took her phone to check that her video was surpassing the ten million mark. The sound she used was to pretend to be a character in stranger things to the song dirty harry from the gorillaz.

Grace felt odd having people randomly hit her personal messages trying to be friends with her just because she was famous, or pretty. She even had boys from her old highschool hitting her messages.

“Can you believe the audacity of these incels!“ Grace shouted “Texting me just because i suddenly glowed up and they finally look pretty for them. These boys ain’t shit“.

The video where Grace dressed up as a stranger things character was getting a lot of attention. Mainly because a lot of people thought that she radiated female mike wheeler vibes. She didn't mind those comments, the comments she hated were the ones judging her appearance.

user7874637291937: omg, her acting is so fake like it is so non-believable

user362823729382: i find it hilarious that people are commenting that netflix should contact her LOL

user46389292399: Has anybody seen her hair? like girl you look like a fucking rat nest JAJA t

user4666738293: lord, are those stomach rolls? ew!

She would usually just shrug those comments as stupid. They were just bored people with the attention span of a fucking goldfish and ate batteries for fun.

“Also, i see that it is quite trending on twitter that people are randomly tagging Finn wolfhard to see your videos“

Grace widened her eyes when she heard that. Her fans were doing what?!.

“Tell me that you’re joking, dude“ she was starting to get nervous when her friend shook her head.

Grace quickly had to open twitter to find out that people were indeed tagging Finn wolfhard on her stranger things videos all over her twitter feed. She groaned and threw her pillow against the wall.

“YO, whats wrong?“ Tellulah asked “Uh, the fact that my fans are swarming THE MOTHERFUCKING FINN WOLFHARD WITH VIDEOS OF ME DOING STRANGER THINGS POVS!“ she shouted “Like, can they fucking realize that he wont notice my videos?. He’s too famous to even take a glimpse of my profile“ she plumetted back to her bed.

“And what do you know?, huh?, what if he does respond to you and actually thinks that yod u are pretty?“

Grace scoffed “Yeah, like that will ever happen”.

Grace never really cared about fame, especially since she is only seventeen years old. But people were just going insane over videos of her doing POV’s of random things, funny things, pretending that she was in one of her favorite shows, etc.

“Hey guys, we still up for that coffee date later on?“ All of them nodded.

It has been a couple of days since the governor had lifted the stay in home order. She’s just happy that she gets to hangout with her friends.

When they finally decided to hang up on the call, Grace decided to go on tiktok and make a video where she reveals that she has similar powers to eleven. While she thought of those she would also think of some good POV ideas.

“Shit“ Grace cursed under her breath, she had a mess of clothes in her bed because she couldn't choose what clothes to wear for her new video/s. Then again she had to check her tiktok journal.

Yes, Grace had ajournal that was specifically dedicated to tiktok. In that notebook she would write down the sounds she would love and gave her ideas for videos. Whenever she liked a sound she would write it with the POV idea alongside a polaroid picture with a description of the POV.

She opted to wear her typical grunge clothes to do the tiktok video.

“Maybe i should go on a live just to chat around with my fans“

When she instantly went on a live on tiktok more than two thousand people came on it.

“Well hello you guys!“ she smiled while looking at the camera. She was reading the comments that they were leaving for her.

randomser445: how old are you?

user3345: do you have a boyfriend?

girlygirl55: What grade are you in?

Grace chuckled, all the questions she received were just about her.

“Well, first of all, I am seventeen years old, no i don’t have a boyfriend and i have recently graduated from my senior year“ she replied

Iamc00ch: how do you feel about your fans spamming finn wolfhard with your videos?

“It made me really uncomfortable because he is a busy guy and i probably think he doesnt have time to look at my profile. So guys, just stop spamming him, please!“

Everyone in the live were curious as to why Grace had her eyebrows furrowed and was confused.

“No fucking way...“ she covered her mouth to prevent her from screaming. “Guys im gonna have to end the live, im sorry“.

Grace couldnt believe her eyes. Was THE Finn wolfhard on her DM’s?, texting HER?.

finnwoldhardofficial: so you’re the girl that’s been on my timeline this whole time

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, IT IS HIM, Grace mentally yelled at herself. She had to compose herself before returning his message back.

goldencherubin: Oh my gosh, i am so sorry! i can’t believe my fans bombarded you with my videos. I didnt meant that to happen lol.

finnwolfhardofficial: No worries, i actually liked having a cute girl appear on my timeline

She felt her heart skip a beat. She just called her cute!.

goldencherubin: oh- i- You’re gonna make me blush

finnwolfhardofficial: that’s kind of the point

Grace and Finn texted what seemed like eternity, and she didnt even mind it one bit. She just still couldnt believe that she was talking to the finn wolfhard, her celebrity crush that is actually the same age as her.

And it only took one video for him to capture his attention.

#finn wolfhard #imagine #finn imagine #stranger things #finn wolfhard imagine #original character

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anarchistbitch · 2 years

Note

hiiiiiiiiii, god this is a over a month late and im SO FUCKING sorry, seriously im sorry, idk why this took me so long, i kept thinking about replying and then i just didnt, again, im really sorry :(

honestly last semester ended up being a disaster, but not a major one, this one is shaping up to be better tho today i had an exam and i feel like i answered some questions somewhat confidently but others were a guessing game 🤡🥴 and i really have no one to blame but myself for it (then again initially she told us they were going to be essay questions and i THRIVE in those, but then they were content specific questions which i was not prepared for) but oh well it cant be helped now and we're allowed to retake our lowest grade at the end of the semester, now im watching sailor moon and eating a strawberry cheesecake ice cream sandwich to get rid of the ambiguity of my feelings over it sigh sigh sigh

fdjhsdfh my hands are always cold too, so it's hard to tell how i'd feel yours but the warm hug is lovely, lovely

i have not started cutie pie but it's been in my to watch list since the first episode came out cause i kept seeing tiktoks about it and it seemed really fun but agh, i havent gotten around to it, i swear i need divine inspiration to do even the things i want to do

in a better timeline benedict did join them and they lived their happy gay lives watching everyone else's drama from the comfort of their stable relationship

lmao relatable, i also left a bunch of shows abandoned bc of the aforementioned need for divine inspiration, i tried watching some middle episodes for a couple shows to like get myself hyped up to understand what was going on and all that but eh, didnt really work, and there's been a danmei draught so im laying on the floor facedown emotionally

about fire island kdjhdfh i handt heard of the place up until the movie, cant be helped, we're not form the us - i have not watched the lizzie bennet series but im adding it to my to-watch, since it's on youtube i might get around to it soon but i wont make any promises just yet sdfjhdjhf and GOD yes, the layers on the movie, i adored it really, you can see that the writers really do care about queer people and that it was written with love - Noah is FANTASTIC he's so real lmao djfjsdhfjdsh and same, when he said that i went 'oh, i see 👀' - i hope both our futures are filled with a loving community of queer people

[completely random: im watching yu-gi-oh rn bc that's what came on after sailor moon and bruh, yugi is short as fuck and i didnt remember that at all, it's also hilarious how they refer to kaiba as rich kid kaiba, it's really fucking hilarious but when i was little it kinda scared me and i can see why too]

i've been ignoring goodreads lmao and im not about to stop cause i really doubt i'll finish a single book this year, im severely blocked, i havent been reading any of the ones i've started, all i did was partially reread the raven boys bc i finally bought the physical book

homegirl does need a break but the only break to be had is my break from reading it :/ and yeah, high literature is fake, joy is the only true and trusted measuring tool

me and my friends have not gotten all together as of yet, it's hard when they have trimesters and i have semesters, our coinciding free times are only for the holidays and i go home for those but we're planning a sleepover soon to celebrate the beginning of their vacations and to cheer myself up after exam week, and one of them is coming over tomorrow so that we can try soju 😌✨

jdfhdfjshfks i'm too picky to align my foods with my favorite characters' tbh

my favorite soup is red bean soup, i must confess that i dont like many soups but i could eat this one every single day, it's so fucking good, also ik you said you'd want to make me egg drop soup, i havent tried it but the texture might be a problem for me, sorry :( but spinach and scream sounds hella good

ok so rn i cant think of bts without thinking of the fact that on the day of the heavy flood in korea namjoon posted a story about a song and with a caption somewhere along the lines of "perfect for the weather" and it was quite literally a parasite moment 🤡 but anyways, bad desicions was so damn good, and yeah, they've worked so damn hard to get to where they are that it's nice to see them have time to enjoy it

i cant fucking believe jin decided to spend his time working tho, what's going on that man's head 😭😭

i also hope other versions of us are closer to each other, i hope this reality's version of me can become better at managing her time and so can talk to you more often 😫💖

matching tattoos huh 👀💖

JDHSHDKJHSK i understand, fever is a hella good song, that's the exact emotion it invokes

mate i had no idea about holland's song 😭 i SUCK at keeping up with things, for most things i have friends in the fandom that come screaminng about news or at the very least post about it

idk if you already started the god of highschool or not but all i can say is that tho i bawled, when i watched it with a friend she didnt shed even a single tear lmao, it really depends on you

JDSGDJSGFJ it cant be helped now, you'll just have to treat yourself whenever you listen to it

anya is so important 😭😭😭😭😭😭 she is so amazing and she deserves to live as normal a life as possible but mainly it has to be a happy one

hmmm i wouldnt say that it's major plot important tbh, but it does have certain relevance for that moment so you'll see skjdhjs

i am also a sucker for cool art, i've read so many things just bc i liked the art style, and if i dont like the art style i have a harder time reading the work, which makes me get annoyed at myself tbh, it feel idk judgy ??? idk, it feels weird

i heard the live at jet studio version of every pore and holy shit, it's so damn beautiful and it felt like his voice was going directly through my chest

i really get that part about being in a weird headspace, life is so complicated at individual scale and currently there's so much going on in the world, it's like that post about how dealing with anxiety rn is so damn weird bc yes, all those fears are entirely too plausible but somehow we have to continue to push through, and burnout sucks, pretty sure ive been burntout since like early 2021 and only just now getting better bc well, to summarize, my parents expect me to graduate soon, which is absolutely not happening, which idk how to tell them and agh it's a cycle really

this is all just to say that i get how you feel, i hope you're feeling better now and if you'd like i can def come off anon so that we can talk more often [tho im not sure you DONT know who i am sgkshadkjsdg i havent really been hiding it lmao, just not being upfront about it bc im socially awkward as fuck]

sending you tons and tons and tons and toooooooons of love, hope you've had good soups and lots of rest, i hope you're hydrating yourself and interacting with lots of cats, i love you

-M<3

between us both, im pretty sure i answer asks much later than u😔 but as u said no matter if its a week or 9 months later , i'll wait for ya<3

ohh yea semester one is just wrapping up for us too and so far it has been less of a disaster than expected, and hope the exam came better than it went in!!![said this to a classmate before going for our term 1's and she gave me the saddest face ever😭😭] essay questions which are content specific are the bane of my life cause lemme tell you my examiner wrote like 10 lines with the reddest pen ever telling me what i needed to improve on while i was still reeling that i passed on that exam phew cause that many lines really make u think twice if u passed(<- wishing this on my worst enemies only).

sailor moon and ice cream sound absolutely delightful and the perfect way to heal after taking an exam [our principal literally goes through the exam hall for some reason and its. have u ever had ur heart beat like a horse?yea.]

me @ u always

[btw the number of gifs of hugs that ive saved in case u send an ask,,.ginormous]

yeeeee i stopped watching cutie pie in the middle cause my school life is a dragon that will bite if u slack off<3 capitalist ass dragon. but fr tho cutie pie is great!! the soundtracks are great too!! and oooh yea i think every ep after ep 6 are heavy on the steamy side

in a better timeline bridgerton would have not have a queer side plot that got quickly swept up under the rug and instead couldve had a storyline about bisexual benedict {im assuming cause 1) hes gives me bi vibes 2)nothing much else than that i think it'd be real neat 3)b is for bisexual and also the start of his first name and surname [:}

divine inspiration is better to not fall on me cause imma use it for evil reallll quick. watching the middle episode is a much better strategy than what i do: watch the finale and become the incarnation of the surprised pikachu meme. also insta reels made me think that "romanticizing" watching stuff would help and it kinda did before i realized that i have adhd symptoms<3 make space for me on the floor cause im laying next to u too🤗

side note: idk if u've ever done this but during summer vacations when i was younger all the women in the house after finishing up lunch would take straw mats and pillows and go to the most airiest room in the house and sleep , and its the best sleep ever. sleeping on the bare ground during summer quickest way to a 😴😴

no cause i recently reread rwarb and suddenly im seeing fire island being mentioned everywhere?? im not gonna blame anyone not studying about america/'s history not knowing american references[god bless genius annotators souls for their little notes cause half my us culture knowledge comes from fob lyrics akfhkdhfsk ]

YEs fire island was really great about how they took care of their characters, the exact scene's dialouge is fuzzy to me but the scene where noah and howie talk before howie leaves, about how theyre similar but are different and that does affect how others see them was one of the best scenes cause the actors portray it in a such an intimate way.

I HOPE QUEER PEOPLE SURROUND US AND THEY ARE LOVING AND WE'LL NEVER HAVE TO THINK TWICE ABOUT OUR SAFETY IN THE FUTURE[all caps cause we deserve it!! and its needs to be shouted from the rooftops!!]

nauurr is kaiba the emo kid from the reverse card meme😭😭😭

ive been looking sideways at goodreads dhksfhk and ive just been saving tons of insta posts about upcoming books so i can read them after my school year is over✌🏾 ive heard quite a lot about the raven boys but apparently theyre not actual ravens? L for the corvid enthusiasts👎🏾👎🏾/lh

sleepovers are fun but unfortunately id be the first to fall asleep😴

im days late but drink tons of water afterwards!!! ive heard that soju is high on alcohol content , and so eat something absorbing for the hangover like rice[ALSO! you know how in kdramas the characters are always eating congee? well i googled it to see the ingredients and its. kanji. its what i eat every weekend bro😭😭 but i do eat it cold during summer with curd and its really good for digestion too]

when i hear red beans i always think of rajma [kidney bean curry and good with naan/rice/roti],[ and ig now im gonna think of u whenever i hear red beans💜💗]

its fine if u dont like egg drop soup!! altho when i was a kid it was the soup™ i used to eat whenever we went out cause i was a picky eater lmao, spinach and cream is a good soup but my personal fav is so basic😭 i fucking love sweet corn soup man

yea no cause i genuinely forget that bts is made up of very rich ppl like 🧍‍♂️ i liked bad decisions a lot too!!

looking back at the past few years of bts' career and seeing the growth and rise in popularity of the general population , and then learning they were doing all this while also in COLLEGE and graduating with honours is. how do u say. humbling to the highest degree.like i cant imagine going to grammys and having a set career and then like having to go back to school.

kim seokjin the man that u are,,

uuughhh thinking about going on walks in parks and just TALKING WITH U

dont worry about taking ur time!!! hell can freeze over but ill still be on this app<3

matching tattoos<3 [also fr i have been thinking👁👁 of getting a tattoo of intertwined tattoos on my sternum but am very unsure of getting tattoos at all😓]

speaking of fever,dont know if ur big on insta edits but i have a ton saved just to listen to the audios on repeat

i . also forgot about it[holland's song]. need that divine intervention to make me focused .

OKAY SO I STARTED THE GOD OF HIGHSCHOOL AND I LOVE IT didnt thing i'd be crying at all but i shed a tear[locals will allege it was full on sobbing but who can say] im only halfway through so i didnt expect to be crying lol😄 anyway the fight scenes were so cool and the main character are such a great trio [also i did search it up on tumblr and im heard about a kim ilpyo👀👀]

[re: getting hungry by listening to gooey]getting pavlov'ed by a song. i have reached new lows /j

random side note#2: i think there should be an emoji for a man on his knees, not the prayer one, just in dejection like this image

anya deserves a normal , happy life with her parents like imma cry if she gets even one scratch idk[but she does love adventure so im just hoping she takes up trekking as a hobby]

cant wait to see the plot relevance of sticking your fingers down a persons throat!![hope this doesnt come off as sarcastic cause i mean it genuinely, from the bottom of my heart]

if u like cool art you should see jibaku shounen hanako kun, a friend introduced me to it and ive been lowkey obsessed with it. it has a very distinct and beautiful art style that u might enjoy!!

cant describe the effect that is listening to tamino has had on me. truly invigorating.[also his eyelashes when he was singing. just .yea]

okay SO like. if i had to take a guess on who you were, i'd have one or two that id be entirely certain of. but i never took a guess cause i wanted to respect ur privacy . but like if ur entirely okay with it, i would not mind if you came off of anon[im putting it lightly Id LOVE if u came off anon so i can add u on discord and annoy u so much💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💗💗💗💗💗💗💗]

sending you truck loads of love and reminders to be safe!!! eat lots of delicious things and hope you get time to spend a lot of time with ur friends !!!

#m for mwah! and mwah! and mwah

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