WHAT’S THE BIGGEST SURPRISE YOU’VE EVER HAD?
Friday night October 16 2020 @5:50pm
1. WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
Wisconsin
2. WHERE DO YOU LIVE AND FOR HOW LONG?
i’ve been in wisconsin my whole life of 24 years. lived in my hometown all the way til i moved to college. after i finished college i decided to stay in the town i went to college in for work purposes
3. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT WHERE YOU LIVE?
the different options around town of where to shop, eat, and other fun things to do
4. WHAT DID YOU LOVE THE MOST ABOUT THE TOWN YOU GREW UP IN?
the lake. i love the fact that the lake was only a 5 minute drive and i was able to go there whenever i wanted. but also, the memories of the town.
5. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?
not anymore
6. WHAT WAS YOUR 1ST PET’S NAME?
thumperlina for my big fat brown bunny
7. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
fall
8. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE?
i watch a lot of movies so i dont really have a favorite
9. FAVORITE MOVIE IN THE PAST 5 YEARS?
avengers infinity war. avengars endgame, crazy rich asians, knives out, and maleficent 1 and 2
10. WHAT’S A MOVIE THAT YOU LAUGHED THE HARDEST DURING?
ouf, i dont remember
11. WHAT’S A MOVIE YOU CRIED THE HARDEST DURING?
avengars, crazy rich, and also while you were sleeping but that’s a drama
12. WHAT’S THE BEST-ANIMATED MOVIE EVER CREATED?
the good dinosaur
13. FAVORITE TV SHOW?
my two all-time favorites are one tree hill and the office
14. FAVORITE TV SHOW THAT IS CURRENTLY ON?
chicago pd and fire
15. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
olive garden?
16. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?
chicken alfredo, really good sushi, fried rice, curry
17. LEAST FAVORITE FOOD?
any seafood --> shrimp, oysters, clams
18. WHAT TOPPINGS DO YOU GET ON YOUR PIZZA?
pineapple and ham. hahaha yes, im that kind of person
19. FAVORITE BEVERAGE?
coffee, strawberry lemondae
20. FAVORITE DESSERT?
cheesecake or red velvet cake
21. IS THERE A DESSERT YOU DON’T LIKE?
pumpkin pie
22. CAKE OR PIE?
cake!
23. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
mackinaw island fudge, mint chocolate chip, strawberry cheesecake
24. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CONDIMENT?
honey mustard
25. WHAT DO YOU GET FOR BRUNCH?
crepes with nutella and strawberries
26. IT’S 4 AM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT, WHAT DO YOU EAT?
fried noodles with two poached eggs
27. WHAT ONE THING DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR FRIDGE AT ANY GIVEN TIME?
eggs
28. WEIRDEST THING YOU’VE EVER EATEN?
duck and this one indian thing i dont remember
29. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BAND?
one direction and tenth avenue north
30. FAVORITE SOLO ARTIST?
liam payne, harry styles, niall horan, louis tomlinson, zayn malik. hahaha and ed sheeran, halsey,
31. FAVORITE NONLIVING MUSICIAN?
--
32. FAVORITE LYRICS?
“and if the whole world was watching, i’d still dance with you”
“baby im falling. head over heels. looking for ways to let you know just how i feel”
33. FAVORITE SONG OF ALL TIME?
theres no way i could choose
34. FAVORITE ALBUM?
again ^^
35. WHAT’S THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?
currently singing like to the “while you were sleeping” ost
right now “it’s you” by henry
36. IF YOUR LIFE WERE A SONG WHAT WOULD THE TITLE BE?
beauty in disguise
37. WHAT SONG WOULD YOU PROBABLY BE CAUGHT DANCING ALONE TO?
any of my current favorites right now
38. IF YOU COULD SING A DUET WITH SOMEBODY WHO WOULD IT BE?
halsey. that would be so cool
39. IF YOU COULD MASTER ONE INSTRUMENT WHAT WOULD IT BE?
guitar
40. WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO KARAOKE SONG?
ugh, i hate karaoke
41. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING OR THE LAST BOOK YOU READ?
probably back when i was rereading one of the “to all the boys i’ve loved” trilogy
42. WHAT’S A BOOK THAT YOU PLAN ON READING?
prayer by tim keller. i just ordered it online and it should be coming in on monday
43. WHAT’S A BOOK THAT YOU READ BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE WAS READING IT?
twilight series. haha
44. WHAT’S A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT POSITIVELY SHAPED YOU?
mhmm...i dont remember. not that it posititive shaped me but the great gatsby was really interesting. also, when i was student teaching, i read number the stars with my kids and it was a great historical fiction book to read
45. WHAT’S A BOOK IN SCHOOL THAT YOU HATED?
i didnt hate it, but there was this one book we read in ap lit and as a project, my friends made the movie version of it
46. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BOOK?
to all the boys trilogies
47. WHAT’S A BOOK YOU WISH YOU HAD WRITTEN?
^^
48. DARK CHOCOLATE OR MILK CHOCOLATE?
i like both but if i had to choose, then dark
49. UNDERWATER OR OUTER SPACE?
underwater like in a submarine or something were i knew i was safe
50. DOGS OR CATS?
dogs for sure
51. KITTENS OR PUPPIES?
ohh, puppies of course
52. DOLPHINS OR KOALAS?
dolphins! i really wanted to swim with dolphins when i was in florida but it didnt work out in our schedule
53. BIRD WATCHING OR WHALE WATCHING?
whale watching
54. WHAT IS YOUR SPIRIT ANIMAL?
i dont really know. probably a sea otter. haha theyre so chill and they stick around with their peeps
55. TO BE OR NOT TO BE?
aint that the question to be answered
56. IPHONE OR ANDROID?
iphone
57. TWITTER OR INSTAGRAM?
insta
58. VINE OR SNAPCHAT?
snap. i never had a vine but i remember watching a few vines. well i guess tik tok is the new vine now
59. WHO SHOULD EVERYONE BE FOLLOWING RIGHT NOW?
Jesus. haha kidding not kidding
60. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE APP? WEBSITE?
probably youtube
61. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?
psych
62. WHAT WAS YOUR BEST SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?
psych and math
63. WHAT WAS YOUR WORST SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?
ap lit
64. WHAT SUBJECT WOULD YOU TEACH IN SCHOOL?
psych or a lower level math class
65. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU KNEW IN HIGH SCHOOL?
enjoy what you love doing as much as you can
66. WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF AT 13?
girl, be confident. you are beautiful. you are smart. and you are enough. dont worry about what others think and dont worry about the future because i got you.
67. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
5′0
68. WHO IS YOUR FASHION ICON?
eh, no one really
69. WHAT’S YOU FAVORITE FASHION TREND?
well since right now is fall, i really like long cardigan with cute booties
70. WHAT ARE 3 THINGS YOU ALWAYS HAVE IN YOUR BAG (BESIDES PHONE AND WALLET)?
phone charger, hand sanitizer, and a mask. haha oh covid days
71. WHAT IS A CURRENT TREND YOU HOPE DOESN’T EXIST IN 100 HUNDRED YEARS?
masks
72. WHAT’S YOUR MUST HAVE FASHION ACCESSORY?
eyebrows done? haha my clothing fashion is pretty simple so i dont really have accessories but maybe a watch i guess
73. HEELS OR FLATS?
depends. on a day to day then flats but for special occasions then heels
74. DIAMONDS OR PEARLS?
eh, i guess i like both
75. BLOW-DRY OR AIR-DRY?
usually air dry unless i need to be ready asap
76. WHAT COLOR DRESS DID YOU WEAR TO PROM?
i didnt really attend my high school dances. my first and last hs dance was homecoming and that was only because i was on the homecoming court. i wore a red strapless dress
77. FAVORITE COCKTAIL?
sex on the beach, mimosas, strawberry daiquiris, margaritas
78. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY ORDER AT STARBUCKS?
white chocolate mocha. either hot or iced depending on the weather
79. COFFEE OR TEA?
coffee. i tried to drink more tea but i always resort back to coffee. haha
80. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR COFFEE?
i usually make my coffee at home. i just put in a mocha or caramel kcup then add in creamer. some days i’ll add in half and half or some chocolate/caramel syrup
81. WHO IS A PERSON YOU WANT TO HAVE COFFEE WITH?
megan markle. odd but why not
82. WHAT HISTORICAL FIGURE DO YOU WANT TO HAVE COFFEE WITH?
general vang pao
83. IF YOU COULD LIVE IN ANY HISTORICAL DECADE, WHAT WOULD IT BE AND WHERE?
probably the 90s
84. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE COUNTRY TO VISIT?
havent left mine yet. haha
85. WHAT’S THE LAST COUNTRY YOU VISITED?
my own. haha
86. WHAT’S A COUNTRY YOU WISH TO VISIT?
somewhere in the east. maybe like france or italy or korea or taiwan
87. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE STATE TO VISIT?
florida
88. WHAT’S THE LAST STATE YOU VISITED?
michigan
89. WHAT’S A STATE YOU WISH TO VISIT?
colorado, new york, california
90. WHAT’S THE BEST VACATION SPOT?
bora bora! ouuu someday for me i hope!
91. WHERE DOES ONE GO ON A PERFECT ROAD TRIP?
honestly, anywhere. just gather your friends, pack up, stock up, and drive
92. FAVORITE CITY?
right now, probably orlando
93. PILATES OR YOGA?
i like both but if i had to choose then yoga
94. JOGGING OR SWIMMING?
swimming!
95. FAVORITE WAY TO WORKOUT?
ugh, at home
96. LEAST FAVORITE WAY TO WORKOUT?
at the gym lifting weight. i always feel so awkward
97. BEST WAY TO DECOMPRESS?
shower, then dinner and movie in bed with a glass of wine
98. WHAT’S THE BEST FIRST DATE IDEA?
dinner and a drive to a fun spot
99. WHAT’S LOVE?
genuine love towards someone regardless of their flaws, always
100. MAJOR TURN ON?
neck kisses, vlines, touching
101. MAJOR TURN OFF?
bad hygiene, rudeness, cockiness
102. WHAT’S THE WEIRDEST THING A GUY HAS DONE OR SAID TO TRY AND IMPRESS YOU?
stalk my facebook and screen shot my old posts and send them to me OR ignoring my non-subtle hints that i have a boyfriend and do not want to hangout alone to “netflix and chill”
103. WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT SOMEONE WHEN YOU MEET THEM?
their smile and personality and how they made me feel
104. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?
nah
105. BEST GIFT YOU EVER RECEIVED?
im not really a big gift person but my mom gave me a micheal kors winter jacket
106. LAST GIFT YOU GAVE A FRIEND?
i bought some baby shower gifts to my boyfriend’s brother and sister-in-law’s baby, baby Grace :)
107. BEST GIFT TO GET FOR SOMEONE?
like a generic gift? probably wine or a watch depending on the occasion
108. WHAT’S THE BIGGEST SURPRISE YOU’VE EVER HAD?
my boyfriend coming to visit me last christmas because i was so stress out and i thought we were suppose to meet up around christmas but he had his own plans that i was not aware of which then made me even more stress when i found out his plans but overall it was a very nice surprise and definitely helped me destress afterwards
109. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
white
110. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR?
probably brown
111. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF FLOWER?
i dont think i have one
112. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE COMEDIAN?
dont have one either
113. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE ACTION STAR?
chris evans, tom holland
114. BEST SUPERHERO CREATED?
captain america
115. IF YOU HAD ONE SUPERPOWER WHAT WOULD IT BE?
to teleport
116. WHAT’S YOUR KRYPTONITE?
too much snow. haha
117. BIGGEST PHOBIA?
deep waters and heights
118. FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE?
dont have one
119. FAVORITE DISNEY CHARACTER?
^^
120. FAVORITE HOLIDAY?
christmas
121. WHAT’S YOUR BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME?
a dead bride. haha
122. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE PLOT-TWIST?
whenever my favorite characters in a tv show gets killed off
123. IF YOU COULD DO A FLASH-MOB WHERE WOULD IT BE?
new york, like how cliche and iconic that would be
124. WHAT’S THE COOLEST THING IN YOUR BEDROOM?
my pineapple lamp
125. IF YOU GOT A TATTOO WHERE WOULD IT BE?
probably on my side or somewhere on my arm
126. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CURSE WORD?
shiiiiiiiiiit
127. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
exploding kittens not really a board game but close enough
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My Top 127 Songs Of 2018
Previously: 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011
Not the most ever... just the second most ever. The record of 132 stands. I hope it is never broken.
As always, criteria and info:
This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective
No artist is featured more than once
If it comes down to choosing between two songs, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track
Each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check any or every out for yourself; there is also a Spotify playlist at the bottom that includes 122 of the 127 songs
Well?
/grins
127) B.o.B - “Food Fight”
Some triplet rap, pretty boring, and I have no idea what this song is supposed to be. But the “Food of the WiFi” part makes me laugh, and I always picture my buddy Matto singing it to his eye rolling wife (even though I’m pretty sure he’s never heard the song before).
126) French Montana f/ Drake - “No Stylist”
This song sucks -- even Drake can’t save it. French Montana is cancer except you don’t get to die.
125) 21 Savage - “Monster”
Not a huge Savage guy, but the Gambino verse helps.
124) The Kooks - “All The Time”
Kind of a lazy chorus, but it’s aight.
123) Sean Paul f/ Jhené Aiko - “Naked Truth”
Love Aiko, have never cared for Paul... but the collab weirdly works.
122) REASON - “Summer Up”
My buddy Josh sent this one, and it’s got the warm vibes. Money stretch:
P asked me is REASON still workin', shit
N***a, is Amber Rose still twerkin', gold diggers still flirtin'
horny teens still jerkin', all my exes still lurkin'
black lives still hurtin', black lives still hurtin'?
121) Nipsey Hussle f/ YG - “Last Time That I Checc’d”
B’s vs. C’s. And a beat that sounds like DJ Mustard combined with ‘90s G-funk. Also, YG’s bandanna scarf is just very cute.
120) Thrice - “Only Us”
Weirdly, another reds and blues music video. But this time, it’s kids at a summer camp. This could absolutely be used by networks as a pump up song for sporting events.
119) Anderson .Paak f/ Kendrick Lamar - “TINTS”
Anderson .Paak -- ohhhh, that dot will always annoy me -- really does not make bad songs. Kung Fu Kenny fits right in, and it’s a very easy hit-the-spot driving song.
118) Mr Hudson f/ Vic Mensa - “Coldplay”
A serious song that uses an emotional reliance on Coldplay to take objective shots at Coldplay, which is pretty hilarious. Vic’s verse is good (”I lost my Queen poppin’ Ace of Spades at King of Diamonds ... I hate Coldplay”).
117) Logic f/ Wu-Tang Clan - “Wu Tang Forever”
Long cypher song. If you care about hip-hop, you probably know Drake also released a song called “Wu-Tang Forever” five years ago (which featured no members of Wu-Tang). There was talk of a remix -- RZA even recently said he wished they did -- but Inspectah Deck articulated why it didn’t happen back then:
“When I finally got to hear the song, I was more or less like, ‘Wow, I thought it was a tribute song like, it would be in respect of all eight members,'” Deck said. “And when I heard it, it was about a girl.”
You can just sense the colossal and spiritual disappointment.
Well, this one is more about fire than females; you’ll shout “Wu-Tang” proudly at least once. My MVP verse is Ghostface.
116) Jhené Aiko f/ Rae Sremmurd - “Sativa”
Rae Sremmurd* still sound like little kids to me. Conversely, Jhené Aiko is all that is woman.
(* - never knew they were brothers until just now)
115) Sam Coffey & The Iron Lungs - “First Time”
Sam Coffey first got on my radar with The Clash-sounding song “Talk 2 Her”. This is less of that and more, like, ‘80s hair metal. It’s almost hard to tell if this is sincere or parody. The video absolutely does not take itself seriously.
114) Saves The Day - “Kerouac & Cassady”
Always been impressed with the very unthreatening Chris Conley’s ability to create such sinister, dark, and menacing imagery. This maybe has the most bleak closing line of any of these songs.
113) 5 Seconds Of Summer - “Youngblood”
This is what Fall Out Boy tries to sound like with their new stuff... but they just suck so bad now.
112) She Killed In Ecstasy - “Dissension (Gold)”
I remembered this being a dope instrumental before totally forgetting about the just-as-awesome vocals; great band name, too. Recommended by my friends Jim and Bill over brunch after taking in their show at Subterranean in Chicago the previous night. This could be the closing theme for a critically acclaimed TV show.
111) Night Birds - “My Dad Is The BTK”
Straightforward, bratty punk rock that promotes snitching (if you’re sure it’s for the right reasons).
110) The Decemberists - “Once In My Life”
Why does such an outwardly melancholy song still feel so damn uplifting? Probably the video. They have a long statement attached on YouTube, so for sure peep if this catches your interest.
109) Mad Caddies - “She’s Gone”
Here we have a straight up reggae cover of NOFX. Sometimes I don’t think I like this song at all, but it might just be hard to separate it from the original; almost wish it was possible to go in with a clean slate. Maybe you can on my behalf?
108) Rivers Cuomo - “Two Broken Hearts”
Would you rather not know the video uses Bitmojis or the pre-chorus promotes two different ice cream brands before the song ends?
107) XXXTENTACION - “Train food”
This song is intense; gave me memories of listening to Kendrick’s “The Art of Peer Pressure”. X not surviving 2018 makes it that much more haunting.
106) Kanye West & Lil Pump f/ Adele Givens - “I Love It”
Not sure why, in his most embattled year yet, Kanye decided to be a part of such a derogatory song towards women. Listening to it makes me feel bad. And sure, the MAGA imagery will be what we think of when we think of 2018 Yeezy, but this picture shouldn’t be too far off either.
Shark: jumped.
105) New Lenox - “Do You Think We Made The Most Of Those New Years Eves”
That is a very long song title. But not as long as the time since passed on this reflection of the final night of the year, over a decade now gone. But even though he’s looking back, you know Chris Trott gets to hit reset at the end of the night, whether it’s December 31st or January 1st. And when NYE hits again, whether you return to the same party in the same place or a different experience in a totally different hemisphere, celebrating something is what makes this all matter.
(Full disclosure: yours truly has a minor backup vocal part in the outro)
104) Jeff Tweedy - “Having Been Is No Way To Be”
This for sure made it on the list because of the “And if I was dead, what difference would it ever make to them?” line, but upon closer scrutiny, the “And I’m sorry when you wake up to me” line is even more crushing.
103) Panic! At The Disco - “Dying In LA”
Brendon Urie’s voice is so polished and full. This song is him in complete control, and he knows it too (the “Dyin’ in LA” falsetto part at the end of the chorus is... probably not necessary).
102) Sugarland f/ Taylor Swift - “Babe”
Though Taylor’s impact in the music video is significantly stronger than her impact in the actual song, it’s still rock solid country. Or... country solid country?
/curtsies
101) ZHU & Tame Impala - “My Life”
This song has such a dancy cool on the power of its instrumentation; really doesn’t need vocals at all.
100) Kidd Russell & Southside Jake - “Slow Motion”
The poppiest SSJ has ever sounded. This is his best song to date. I’m not so sure if “Shots kill the butterflies” is an actual expression, but it should be.
99) Hop Along - “What The Writer Meant”
Hot damn, what a voice. This song is beauty in our not-often-beautiful world.
98) Retirement Party - “That’s How People Die”
This reminds me of a female fronted version of the departed Modern Baseball. Eager to see how they develop and definitely plan on checking their Audiotree session soon.
97) Lil Peep - “Sex With My Ex”
It’s... really good, you guys. The grimy nihilism of the “Fuck me like we’re lying on our deathbed” is palpable. It’s impossible not to think of the heights Peep would have almost definitely hit had he not passed. Also, super interesting tidbit on how the album got posthumously made:
Lil Peep died of an accidental drug overdose last November [2017] at 21. Afterward, attention turned to his computer. First, it went to London, where the files were backed up by First Access Entertainment, the company that helped guide his career.
Then it went to his mother, Liza Womack. In an interview in her cozy Long Island home, sitting on a nondescript couch that belonged to Peep and was shipped cross-country after his death, she calmly recalled walking into an Apple store, handing the laptop to a clerk, and saying: “My son died. This is him. Take this and put it on a new one.”
96) Kurt Vile - “Bassackwards”
I was on the beach, but I was thinkin’ about the bay
This has Kurt Vile’s signature laid back-ness (good) but also has a 9:46 track length (VERY VERY BAD). I’m not saying it has to be even four minutes long... but, like, could you have given us seven, KV? All of that aside, it really doesn’t slog at all despite mostly staying the same the whole time. Though I still can’t stop thinking about how much shorter it should be.
95) Christine And The Queens - “Doesn’t matter”
Kinda ‘80s pop sounding. Also, there’s a foreign accent there. British maybe?
/googles
French! Even better.
94) Brendan Kelly And The Wandering Birds - “Shitty Margarita”
Wish the drums were louder, BK.
93) Courtney Barnett - “Nameless, Faceless”
Barnett does not fuck around with her chorus/old adage:
I wanna walk through the park in the dark
Men are scared that women will laugh at them
I wanna walk through the park in the dark
Women are scared that men will kill them
This type of perspective, down to the description of how she has to hold her keys in a way your average dude might not think about, remains so crucial as we all hope to continue to better understand each other.
92) Jeff Rosenstock - “Powerlessness”
Meet me at the Polish bar
I'll be the one looking at my phone
Shaking like a nervous kid
Absolutely terrified of being alone
...it doesn’t sound how it reads. All of his skittish energy fuels this fist pumping jam. And don’t miss the guitar solo.
91) Charli XCX - “5 In The Morning”
Pretty standard fare pop song, but Charli makes it cooler and better than if the average person jumped on.
90) Pinegrove - “Darkness”
Gonna be honest: it was nearly impossible to listen to Pinegrove in 2018 without thinking of the sexual coercion accusations from the previous year. Jenn Pelly’s long ass piece really did nothing to help matters. So because of all this, I listened to their new album “Skylight” wayyyyy less than originally anticipated. The few times -- really maybe ‘time’ in all actuality -- I was able to separate the story from the songs, it definitely became enjoyable. This has head clearing guitar leads and a lyric straight outta Sublime’s “Garden Grove”.
89) Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson - “Bad Dreams”
Brooding, nighttime, driving; good ingredients for a successful duet.
88) Meek Mill f/ Rick Ross & JAY Z - “What’s Free”
Now, if I’m Rick Ross, I spend my entire career avoiding any situation where people can compare me to Biggie. But since Rick Ross is Rick Ross, he went with the opposite plan. This is his (to my knowledge) second reimagined Biggie song*, and... it’s... it’s rough. I mean, how far can you take it with the line “Mona Lisa, to me, ain't nothin' but a b***h” and end with a gay slur. Pass.
But we also have the GOAT. In classic Jay fashion, he spits a lot of good words, you know it’s complex, and there’s no way to process it without more listens. And yes, the immediate brand checks are super annoying, but he pushes through and delivers some bars:
They gave us pork and pig intestines
Shit you discarded that we ingested, we made the project a wave
You came back, reinvested and gentrified it
Took n****s' sense of pride, now how that's free?
When he finishes, the song itself ends, and we have one of the more long and uneven Jay cameos ever put on wax. It’s, like, a 5-star B-.
(* - the first being 2014′s “Nobody”, a take off “You’re Nobody [Til Somebody Kills You]”, featuring French Montana, which spawned an all-time Rap Radar comment, “If someone killed French, he’d still be a nobody”; I will bring it up with the most minor of segues for the rest of my life)
87) Red City Radio - “In The Shadows”
I tend to prefer Red City Radio playing more uptempo, but they drag us down to a slower speed for this one. This centers around the cryptic “I show no fear when I know that the devil’s here” line, and the guitar solo is definitely overqualified for the genre.
86) Kanye West - “Yikes”
/cracks knuckles
The song: banging chorus, solid beat, lyrics meh. Of course it was the song he got Drake for, because it’s the only one on his solo release that vaguely resembled a hit.
The album: Calling “ye” bad is a little unfair, but the best and realest description is sadder: it’s Kanye’s most inessential record. It was forgettable at best and cringeworthy/offensive at worst. The one about his daughter was particularly appalling:
Don't do no yoga, don't do pilates
Just play piano and stick to karate
I pray your body's draped more like mine
And not like your mommy's
This doesn’t even get into the entirely warped mental health takes that I’m not nearly qualified enough to address.
Kanye himself: Every Kanye fan has defended Kanye, some Kanye fans have abandoned Kanye, but 2018 was legitimately the tipping point where it felt like we all finally had enough, in unification. Shock, betrayal, and disappointment are probably the best adjectives. When you are willing to forgive someone for 90% of their behavior, and they up their bullshit to 110%, an understandable separation must occur. At this point, the man we once called Yeezus is now the hip-hop Louis C.K.: no type of constructive or negative feedback can penetrate his brain, and any new attempts at creative output only make everything worse.
85) Royce da 5′9′’ f/ Eminem & King Green - “Caterpillar”
As lyrical as it gets on this list, but what else do you expect from Em and Royce? Not a huge fan of the chorus (at least that loud part in the first half). Eminem legit goes off for, like, ten lines with a pooping metaphor to close the song.
84) Nicki Minaj - “Barbie Dreams”
Staying in the redone Biggie songs lane, we have Nicki with a passive evisceration of your favorite male rapper. You can call it crass, but I’d argue her playfulness makes the whole thing work, combined with the fact that it’s flipping the male gaze on its head. And though she’s having fun, some of these movie punches catch real faces. My favorites:
3) “Drake worth a hundred mill, he always buyin' me shit / But I don't know if the pussy wet or if he cryin' and shit”
2) “I remember when I used to have a crush on Special Ed / Shoutout Desiigner 'cause he made it out of special ed”
1) “Had to cancel DJ Khaled, boy, we ain't speakin' / Ain't no fat n**** tellin' me what he ain't eatin'”
Goodbye forever, DJ Khaled.
83) Bad Bunny f/ Drake - “MIA”
I do social media for my high school alma mater’s football team, and this song first got on my radar when of the players tweeted something like “I can’t understand a word, but this is really good”. I was piqued, and it delivered. Nobody cultural appropriates quite like Drizzy Drake. Also, am I the only one who would have maybe been happier if the song was called “Bad Bunny” and the featured artist was M.I.A.?
82) Phoebe Bridgers - “Christmas Song”
Christmas songs are hard to write because they’re either taken or terrible, but Bridgers definitely carved out her own lane. This could work as a single person under a spotlight or sung by a group of lonely strangers finding camaraderie at a bar; within the song, you actually get both scenarios.
81) Remo Drive - “Blue Ribbon”
Got into this band for the first time in 2018, and though some of their older songs got more spins, this was my favorite from the new album.
80) The Sidekicks - “Twin’s Twist”
Mostly just impressed they were able to seamlessly integrate the “Chronic 2001″ into lyrics of a lighter rock song.
79) Real Friends - “From The Outside”
My favorite chorus they’ve ever written. While remaining thoroughly pop punk, the catchiness puts it more on the pop side of that spectrum.
78) Mike Posner - “Song About You”
Posner sounds like he’s barely trying, and it’s still so, so good. Favorite moment is this non-rhyme: “Since you’ve been gone, I got nothing to do / I sleep until noon, I wake up and feel bad”. It’s like a pop freestyle or something.
Also, extra shout out for how well he took his social media roasting after the Thanksgiving performance in Detroit. Love this dude.
77) Bad Religion - “The Kids Are Alt-Right”
What if I told you Bad Religion made a song with an intro that sounded like Andrew W.K.’s “Party Till You Puke” but were somehow still able to stay afloat? Hell, I’m confused too. The satirical lyrics mark 2018 for what it was. The pre-chorus, I remain torn on.
76) Blood Orange - “Saint”
You said it before
Looped keyboard beat over some smooth lyrics and melodies.
75) Juice WRLD - “Lucid Dreams”
I cannot change you so I must replace you
Still unclear how this *isn’t* a Post Malone song.
74) Tancred - “Queen Of New York”
Own the city.
73) We Were Sharks - “Drop The Act”
Ohhhhh, I love this production.
72) Cloud Nothings - “Leave Him Now”
This band continues to possess all of the melodic fury (and the Russell Westbrook of drummers).
71) Childish Gambino - “Summertime Magic”
Wasn’t big on “This Is America”*, so Glover releasing an ode to the best season as an alternative selection helped.
(* - at least not the song; vid was interesting)
70) The 1975 - “Love It If We Made It”
The 1975 are one of those bands where liking them makes you feel like an alien because everyone else either loves or dogs them. I’m keepin’ this casual, aight?
Also, since all writers are contractually obligated, we must mention the “Fucking in a car, shooting heroin” line which opens the song.
69) Kississippi - “Cut Yr Teeth”
Saw this band play in a classroom at a high school (google “BLED FEST”) in Michigan in May of 2018. They were fun, diverse, and covered Jimmy Eat World’s “The Middle”. This tune is a little more serious and locked in.
68) Muncie Girls - “Picture Of Health”
Every part of this song is well-written, but it all builds to a massive chorus.
67) Justin Timberlake f/ Chris Stapleton - “Say Something”
There was a time, in January 2018, when not a ton of music had dropped yet, and this song was everywhere. It was like the dead-of-winter equivalent to the Song of the Summer. This one definitely gets docked some points for what I’d call weak lyricism. You can tell both dudes were way into it though, which does help make up for it some.
66) Interpol - “The Rover”
As speedy as I’ve ever heard Interpol; pretty unskippable.
65) Dashboard Confessional - “Catch You”
Imagine if this were the only Dashboard song you’d ever heard. You’d think they were, like, happy. Our protagonist has a trustworthy assurance that should put you at ease.
64) Gulfer - “Secret Stuff”
No singing on this list will alienate you faster than the first eight seconds of this one.
63) Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - “Talking Straight”
Though this feels like two band names in one, RBCF know exactly what they’re doing as it pertains to the actual songwriting. This would fit right in during the mid-2000s garage/indie rock boom; could listen to the chorus on a loop.
62) Rita Ora f/ Cardi B, Bebe Rexha & Charli XCX - “Girls”
This song has the unique distinction of being think pieced and outraged cycled before I even got a chance to hear a second of it. The case:
Now, it goes without saying that the best people to explain why this song feels damaging and hurtful to queer women are queer women themselves – girls who kiss girls whether they’ve been gulping back Malbec or not. “A song like this just fuels the male gaze while marginalizing the idea of women loving women,” wrote Hayley Kiyoko on Twitter. Kehlani said it has “many awkward slurs, quotes, and moments”. MUNA’s Katie Gavin noted that in ‘Girls’ she hears “the familiar chorus that women’s sexuality is something to be looked at instead of authentically felt”.
To her credit, Ora apologized the very same day that piece came out (PUN INTENDED). What’s weird is the idea of this song being problematic made me like it more. It gives the sexual flippancy of the chorus authenticity. I don’t know, man -- this stuff is complicated.
Not complicated? Cardi B’s awful green screen cameo featuring cheap looking special effects.
/shakes head in disappointment
61) Eminem f/ Ed Sheeran - “River”
Though not apples to apples -- since he’s not spitting -- we shall remember this as the time Ed Sheeran > Eminem in a song.
Marshall remains our unquestioned king of the ‘relationship dysfunction’ genre.
60) Culture Abuse - “Calm E”
Everyone’s getting back together
The writers of the perfect and generational “Dream On” continue to stay in the mellow lane with their subsequent releases. When you can pull off both, why not?
59) Brian Fallon - “Silence”
Fallon covers -- /checks notes -- Marshmello f/ Khalid, but it really could be an original. Dude really knows how to pick ‘em. I remember hearing this randomly at Shinto (a sushi/hibachi place) in Naperville; don’t remember if it was this or the original. Such a moving chorus.
58) Okkervil River - “Don’t Move Back To LA”
Gotta appreciate the persistent sentiment -- even though it’d be the opposite of my advice. Also took about 99.9% of the year for me to stop calling this band “Overkill” River in my head.
57) Natalie Prass - “Short Court Style”
Uber catchy and with a real groove.
56) The Interrupters - “She’s Kerosene”
2018 Rancid, down to the raspy-ish singing from Aimee Allen.
55) boygenius - “Me & My Dog”
When I heard Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, and someone named Lucy Dacus were forming a super group, I was stoked. This tune was the one that jived the most with my vision of the project. Amazingly sick harmonies, dropping elbows on your heart like a professional wrestler, and introspection on introspection.
I wanna be emaciated
I wanna hear one song without thinking of you
I wish I was on a spaceship
Just me and my dog and an impossible view
So, so, so, so good.
54) Shack Wes - “Mo Bamba”
How do you explain “Mo Bamba” to someone who doesn’t like rap? How do you explain “Mo Bamba” to someone who does like rap? I don’t know, but I am Teddy Bridgewater now.
53) Lil Dicky f/ Chris Brown, Ed Sheeran, DJ Khaled & Kendall Jenner - “Freaky Friday”
If you thought Rita Ora’s “Girls” was messy, allow me to introduce you to our last bad rap song on the list. Actually, maybe the Virginia Tech women’s lacrosse team would be a better candid--OHHHHH LADIES NO!!!!!!!!11111111
So yeah, whether it’s the most lightning rod word in American history, cultural appropriation, reverse cultural appropriation, or even just a good ol’ “I Blame Chris Brown” take, this attempt at comedy hip-hop got put under a microscope for all the right and wrong reasons. No one came out unscathed. But, like Ora’s song, if you can ignore some components (read: nearly everything), it’s so god damn fun, man. I mean, Dicky and Chris Brown swapped bodies -- pretty nuts. And it’s rare for an MVP line to be “How his dick staying perched up on his balls like that?”
52) Jay Rock f/ Kendrick Lamar, Future & James Blake - “King’s Dead”
I gotta go get it- I gotta go get it- I gotta go get it- I gotta go get it
The back half of the Future verse is the worst part about this song... yet the most fun to talk about. He raps auto-tuned, in falsetto... and these are the lyrics:
La di da di da, slob on me knob
Pass me some syrup, fuck me in the car
La di da di da, mothafuck the law
Chitty chitty bang, murder everything
What a disgrace. Yet, almost like a whimsy 2 Chainz verse, it’s really fucking memorable.
51) Soccer Mommy - “Your Dog”
Noticeably good bassline? Check. Skin crawlingly bad band name? Check. Cool swearing? Yup.
50) Vince Staples - “FUN!”
Vince could rap his way out a bottomless pit; floating elevation flow.
49) Dan + Shay - “Tequila”
Tried so hard to get this one next to “Shitty Margarita”. Genuinely love this song. Maybe it’s the mountains in the music video, but that chorus just soars.
48) Meg Myers - “Numb”
Look up in the air and see this tidal wave chorus crashing through the world in slow motion.
47) The Penske File - “Fairgrounds”
My new working theory -- which really feels more like fact -- is how cool lyrics with the phrase “Meet me...” are. It creates this aura of unknown, mystery, and maybe even danger; like anything could happen if you just agree. Here are some from songs just off the top of my head:
Meet me by the lake
Meet me at the reservoir
Meet me in Montauk
Meet me in the middle (more on that one later)
Meet me in the back
Meet me at midnight
The list goes on. So please say “yes” to The Penske File at the fairgrounds, won’t you?
46) Lil Wayne f/ Swizz Beatz - “Uproar”
Weezy goes this entire song only using “oh” rhymes; not sure how he does it. Sometimes, I listen to this and pretend I’m a buffalo.
45) Cardi B - “Be Careful”
Cardi sampled Lauryn (wayyyyyyyy more on this later) and made it work. The chorus always sticks with me, and though the verses have a few bumps along the way, they might even be better.
44) Elway - “Crowded Conscience”
Elway pulls up their roots in this All Colorado Everything lyric video, and you’ll be ready to tap the Rockies when the singalong chorus finishes.
43) Pkew Pkew Pkew - “Passed Out”
A punk rock drinking song with a real bummer of a chorus for how happy the theme itself comes across.
42) Joyce Manor - “I Think I’m Still In Love With You”
I have no scientific proof, but Barry’s lyrics seem to be getting worse and worse. The drug references are still there, sure, but there’s an almost elementary simplicity to the proceedings. Still, like “Heart Tattoo”, this song doesn’t get in its own way and takes advantage of the basic words to create a big, big hook. You sing along even though it feels too easy at times.
41) Alkaline Trio - “Throw Me To The Lions”
So much desperation in the chorus; this could work as their last ever song.
40) The Bombpops - “Dear Beer”
My favorite opening line on this whole list -- the sweet and simple “I’m about to hit send / I’m waiting for the weekend”. Before you know it, a full blown self-loathing chorus. It’s got it all.
39) Foxing - “Lambert”
In quiet awe listening to this masterpiece of a song. Saw this band way up close in 2018 -- here is a picture:
Hello, Foxing
38) Lucero - “To My Dearest Wife”
Civil War soldier or rigorous rock and roll touring schedule? Either way, the Lucero singer misses his wife and family, and he’s gonna let you know they’re on his mind. I saw them open for Frank Turner in 2018, and he played their new album front to back -- before it had been released -- as their entire set because “I promised to do this when drunk on Instagram”. Gotta respect a man with principles.
37) BlocBoy JB f/ Drake - “Look Alive”
Favorite Drake hook of the year. BlocBoy JB... less necessary. Also kinda crazy to think we didn’t know who producer Tay Keith was at the beginning of 2018; definitely made his impression felt by the end.
36) The Front Bottoms - “Tie Die Dragon”
As psychedelic as I’ll ever get. Unless it’s, like, The Beatles. But that’s different.
35) The Lawrence Arms - “Laugh Out Loud”
Released on their Best Of record (legitimately titled “We Are The Champions Of The World) and an “Oh! Calcutta!” b-side from 2006, TLA prove even their leftovers can be a main course.
34) Tinashe f/ Future - “Faded Love”
I know he’s a rapper and she’s a singer, but nothing is more illustrative of how much harder women have to work compared to men than the 1:36 mark when Tinashe sensually sings “Let’s just feel this feeling”, doubled with Feature’s auto-tuned ass doing the exact same thing, only 10x worse. Not enough to taint the song, even a little. His verse, however...
33) Chance The Rapper - “65th & Ingleside”
Chance -- who almost always makes the correct choices -- did this super annoying thing where he released a bunch of songs in single batches in 2018.
“But Bobby, he gave you tons of free music! Why are you complaining?!”
Because we couldn’t easily sequence it, bruh. Look at this shit!:
Not even Drake would pull this stunt. EP next time, Chano.
Anyway.
Fun lines, really contagious beat, and a few types of flows; he spazzes at the end.
32) Complainer - “Drunk (Again)”
Gotta love when a song can’t start until multiple beer cans crack. These guys are a tiny band inspired-by-but-better-than Jeff Rosenstock, and I hope they get so much more traction.
31) ScHoolboy Q f/ Kendrick Lamar, Saudi & 2 Chainz - “X”
I LIVE ON TEN
Always read this title as the letter X even though the word “ten” is used 40 times in the song.
30) KIDS SEE GHOSTS (Kanye West & Kid Cudi) - “Reborn”
From Kanye’s only useful project in 2018 comes “Reborn”. Luckily, it’s mainly Cudi on this track (chorus/bridge/a verse). It feels like Ohio’s son is breaking through... or breaking out; verging on real triumph over his demons. Kanye, meanwhile, is surprisingly understated (read: good) and fits into all of his parts like a non-OJ glove. The sparing use of Yeezy reminds me of how the master himself used to feature people like Chief Keef just enough to harness the talent but not enough to ruin the song or do too much. Those alpha days appear to be way in the rearview now.
29) Travis Scott f/ Drake, Swae Lee & Big Hawk - “SICKO MODE”
Stacey Dash, most of these girls ain’t got a clue
This joins “Mo Bamba” in the Top 2 of Rap Songs That Need To Be Played At All Parties In The Year 2018. While “Bamba” is more consistent -- seriously, “SICKO MODE” is four songs in one -- almost nothing tops hearing the start of this and immediately anticipating the rest (like the opening of “Tuesday” when that was hot). The third part is probably my favorite. #likealight
28) SOB X RBE f/ Zacari & Kendrick Lamar - “Paramedic!”
Our third selection from the “Black Panther” soundtrack. Second favorite beat of 2018; I can’t not move the second it drops.
27) Drug Church - “Unlicensed Hall Monitor”
Favorite guitar leads of 2018. It’s as sleek as the vocals are gruff.
26) Matt And Kim - “FOREVER”
Was a dead tie between this and the equally emotional “Youngest I Will Be”. But this one has a vid -- and they make the best vids. This song also references the 1992 Dream Team. Our world will never be shit if they stay a part of it; first time I’ve came close to tearing up so far. These two inspire.
25) The Ramblin’ Boys Of Pleasure - “Joyce Jawbreaker”
Speaking of turrs, my band of 14 years released our maybe last song ever in 2018. Written in Maine, titled for Joyce Manor and Jawbreaker, and about lost love, Chicago, futures, playing music with your brothers, tiny hands, and found love. We also did a video:
24) Ariana Grande f/ Nicki Minaj - “the light is coming”
I really, truly am not excluding “thank u, next” to be contrarian. While I agree that is her defining song of 2018 -- and biggest hit to date? -- “the light is coming” is so much more unique. It goes in so many directions while the hook ties the rope around you a hundred times. Yep, I’m right.
23) Laura Jane Grace & The Devouring Mothers - “Apocalypse Now (& Later)”
Wish I could forever keep this song’s opening line as my mantra: You make me walk away from the hate I carry.
22) Restorations - “Nonbeliever”
Another band that should be bigger, so they can always be free to do anything they want. This song will always boil down to this part, which captures the push and pull of 2018 America:
I love your protest lines
Oh, but who has the time?
We all saw the same thing at the same time, okay?
Got a partner for starters
And a kid on the way
Can’t be doing all this dumb shit no more
For how crass, clumsy, and non-rhyming that concludes, the song itself ends dire.
21) The Get Up Kids - “I’m Sorry”
One of my favorite videos of 2018. Similar to “Apocalypse Now (& Later)”, I’m not sure if it’s about a love interest or a kid. Does it matter? No. But it does to me.
20) Antarctigo Vespucci - “Freakin’ U Out”
A band name for the ages. With Chris Farren (of Fake Problems) on vox and Jeff Rosenstock on instruments, this song could power a car -- or at least one person who didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.
19) Bayside - “It Don’t Exist”
Anthony Raneri has a new grill, but this song feels 50 years old. A classic in real time.
18) The Carters - “APESHIT”
Is this artsy, all-time vid somewhat undermined by the Migos ad libs?
Yes.
/makes note to maybe dress up like this for Halloween next year
17) Post Malone f/ 21 Savage - “rockstar”
This song is so good -- albeit misogynist and also bad -- it makes me genuinely eager for a 21 Savage verse. And though I love any bars relating to his 12-car garage...
my favorite 21 savage quirk is his yearly 12 car garage updates:
2016: “why you got a 12 car garage?”
2017: “they like ‘savage why you got a 12 car garage / and you only got 6 cars?’”
2018: “why you got a 12 car garage? / cause i bought 6 new cars”
(via @ottergawd)
...his intro line is just so, so terrible: “I've been in the Hills fuckin' superstars / Feelin' like a popstar”. You know that’s... not really a rhyme, right?
16) Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness - “Ohio”
/will always, always death stare that dumb name to start any Andy section
Ah, but if we did start with a lyric?
Katie’s counting crows
This song is about leaving the worst state for one of the best. But if we’re doing that, why do we feel so melancholy?
15) Kendrick Lamar & SZA - “All The Stars”
You've gotta be mesmerizing to make Kung Fu Kenny look pedestrian, but SZA's galactic hook does just that.
14) Frank Turner - “1933″
Frank isn’t from here, but he’s setting out to remind us of where this all began.
13) The Wonder Years - “Sister Cities”
As far as pop punk legacies are concerned, The Wonder Years’ is secure. There is no longer necessity to churn out bangers; they’re already on the Mount Rushmore. Still, they go. Every part of this song is essential: the build up verses, blown out chorus, Panic! At The Disco 2005-era hi-hat off-time drum transitions, end-of-the-rope bridge. The true standout is the closing of V2:
I'm guarded like I'm wounded, my first instinct's always “run”
I wanna turn to steam
I wanna call it off
I wanna lighten the dark
I wanna swallow the sun
Good guitar leads add even extra.
12) YG f/ 2 Chainz, Big Sean & Nicki Minaj - “BIG BANK”
“Alexa, what does big bank do to little bank?”
The highlight line from each:
YG: “Ayy, I set the bar, I'm the fuckin' bar / Look in the sky, I'm a fuckin' star / I don't fall in love 'cause I be lovin' hard / Do everything like my shirt, extra large”
2 Chainz: “Big shit like a dinosaur did it”
Big Sean: “I'm rare as affordable health care”
Nicki: “Told em' I met Slim Shady, bagged a Em / Once he go black, he'll be back again”
Let this also be remembered as the song that created a Madden controversy.
11) Dean Summerwind - “Parked By The Lake”
What is there to say about the legend that is Dean Summerwind? With only one song on Spotify, he’s batting a clean 1.000. Calling this genius feels like an understatement. It’s real, it’s parody, it’s persistent, it’s ours.
10) The Dirty Nil - “Bathed In Light”
The Canadian Local H. Reaaaaaaaally wanna see them live in 2019.
9) oso oso - “gb/ol h/nf”
I stylized oso oso as “Oso Oso” last year to stick it to their frontman Jade, but a year later, I’ve lost the energy. Blame Ariana Grande. This song -- which stands for “goodbye old love, hello new friend”* -- has my favorite chorus of the year. It’s so simple, it’s obvious: “But I still come through, when you want / And if I serve no use, where do I get my purpose from?”
Also, this is indie/pop/punk/rock’s version of “SICKO MODE”: got more parts than “The Wire”.
(* - had to look that up multiple times in 2018 and never retained, despite it being the bridge of the song... I didn’t notice)
8) Kacey Musgraves - “Space Cowboy”
If any song *survives* the existence of this list, I hope it’s this one. Kacey has this predictable-yet-surprising way of taking existing tropes and co-opting them with her own twist. Homegirl is like the Jim Nantz of pop/country in that way.
7) Direct Hit! - “Welcome To Heaven”
This song makes me want to die to, you know, check. Blustering chorus, fascinating premise, and charged up while simultaneously patient/in control.
6) FIDLAR f/ The 90s - “Are You High?”
This not being on Spotify was one of the worst non-Michigan football things to happen to me in 2018. Man, I hate Michigan football.
5) Drake - “Nice For What”
- My favorite beat of 2018 (New Orleans bounce, ftw)
- My favorite release of 2018
- Drizzy said it would drop on a Friday
- We were thinking morning or midday (not late evening, in the last remaining hours of the day, when were were faded and had waited so long it was almost forgotten -- it hit perfect)
- On top of that, he also sampled Lauryn Hill’s “Ex-Factor” -- the same week Cardi B did the same -- with even more pulsating results
- I will always interpret that as a real or sneak diss, yet no one I know has ever said anything
- My buddy Josh sent a selfie vid of him and his girl and some friends bopping to it; I’ll remember that forever; the moment felt like such an event, as if the world simultaneously celebrated at such an atypical time
- Drake deserves 30% less credit for this female empowerment anthem because of the “these hoes” sample
- Maybe a Top 5 Drake song, all-time
- There is no planet, solar system, or multiverse where 2018 Drake finishes ahead of 2018 Pusha T
4) Pusha T - “The Story Of Adidon”
You are hiding a child.
Let’s not mince words: this is the No. 2 greatest diss track of all time. Pac is No. 1 -- this will not be debated. From there, Nas is DQ’d for “Ether” homophobia, annnnnnd no one else is in the realm. King Push...
- Unearthed a photo of Drake in blackface and uses it as the art for the song
- Goes at Drake’s mom (”Marriage is something that Sandi never had...”)
- Goes at Drake’s dad (”Dennis Graham stay off the 'gram, bitch, I'm on one”)
- Outs Drake for having a child (and hiding said child!*)
- Goes at Drake’s baby momma
- And -- /gulp -- goes at Drake’s longtime producer 40 for having multiple sclerosis, suggesting he will not be alive soon**
He does this over “The Story Of O.J.” beat... a rather chill backdrop, all things considered.
(* - Drake responded later with the line “I wasn’t hiding my kid from the world, I was hiding the world from my kid” which just isn’t cool at all but is competent enough to win some people back over; /barf)
(** - HOLY FUCK***)
(*** - much debate occurred in the aftermath regarding if Push “went too far”; I was 50-50 at the time but now am 100-0 that it was the right choice; this song is cyanide venom, so why pull back even an ounce?)
Though Drake survived -- turns out the mainstream pop boost is bigger than hip-hop beef -- he took the fattest of L’s on this one.
Really can’t decide on a lyrical ending, so I’m gonna go with two:
Surgical summer.
If we all go to hell, it’ll be worth it.
3) Spanish Love Songs - “Buffalo Buffalo”
In my head, this was gonna end up ahead of The Menzingers, but that would be like putting Greta Van Fleet ahead of Zeppelin. Spanish Love Songs were my breakout band of 2018. They released my favorite album, I saw them as an opener at Sub-T in Chicago, and I promised their bassist I’d see them in Florida at the Fest (this did not materialize). While their vocals and guitar leads sound identical to Scranton’s finest, if you listen to them as much as I did, you’ll realize they offer a sound and perspective* of their own as well.
(* - no one hates themselves more than this singer)
2) The Menzingers - “Toy Soldier”
There’s so much to be sad about these days
/that guitar intro
Followed by the best musical moment of this year: from 0:06 to 0:07 -- the ever-so-slight delay before the band blows it out. Spent a lot of time in 2018 debating if I should change my Twitter bio to “I lost my accent in the plague”. Listened to this song on the floor of the living room on my 32nd birthday; then I read “The Great Gatsby”. From there (at this point, it was past midnight), I realized this sounded like The Lawrence Arms’ “Requiem Revisited”, which was inspired by Naked Raygun’s “Soldiers Requiem”. It’s all a triangle of that perfectly fitting punk chord progression. That’s right: I am Pepe Silvia.
1) Horror Squad - “I Smoke The Blood”
Best song title of 2018. Best song of 2018.
This has 729 views on YouTube -- be the 730th.
Spotify playlist.
Thank you for reading.
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