#also it would have had actual chances of reaching locals and maybe going viral

[jentlemahae]

the golden hour tiktok challenge should have been about ppl showing how they cook eggs

[kissandmxkeup]

Royal Guard!Johnny

here for the obligatory annual “yes i’m still around and yes i know where my computer keyboard is” post, may do more but probably not tbh. if you’re still here and reading, i love you and also highly question why you’re so dedicated. not that i mind, i truly appreciate it, but still.

also, this is female!reader because i had so much trouble writing this in a gender-neutral manner. if you want a gender-neutral/male!reader version, let me know and i’ll do my best!

Always cordial and polite, not just with you but anyone he comes across

So many of the guards tend to have this air of superiority, talking down to those that aren’t within their ranks or of a higher status, but Johnny has the same level of manners for the elderly shopkeeper in town as he does for you, the crown princess of the country

Not only that, he’s also extremely attentive to your needs, even the ones that he isn’t necessarily responsible for

He always has a bag with first-aid supplies, snacks, water, and even portable chargers and a Game-Boy somewhere within reach

And he’s always willing to have a conversation with you, listen to your concerns and worries and sorrows

You actually came to know Johnny when he was guarding your brother, a seven year old who was incredibly funny and also insanely gross 

After your brother turned ten he was sent off to a private school with their own security teams, so Johnny was moved over to you

You loved being around him; his positivity and kindness could melt even the toughest of moods, something your mother had noticed when she was looking for his new assignment 

You remember when she called Johnny to the throne room; he’d still been just barely an adult then, looking young and boyish in armor slightly too big for him He had bowed deeply to her, so much that the weight of the heavy metal chainmail nearly tipped him over, and she smiled back as she informed him that he was being removed from his position with your brother, that he would now be tasked with being in your guard. He had given her a nod and an “as you wish” that was almost too wavering with forced professionalism before turning to you with a nervous little grin, asking what you needed of him in a way that had melted your heart.

Over time, the two of you had grown into a rhythm; you would walk the gardens in the morning, him following like a shadow as you chatted with the gardeners and groundskeepers. After that you would tend to your schoolwork, and then the minor royal duties you were given after you’d finished your education, occasionally letting him distract you with stories of the younger guards’ antics as you tried to pass time until dinner, and then at the end of the day you would always sit and talk together about the country.

Even when you were young, you were always looking to improve the life of the commoners of the land, and given his background, Johnny was much more connected to them than you could ever be. He had influenced policies you’d drafted on education, social welfare programs, and even some of your first quality-of-life recommendations like repairing historical sites and landmarks in the smaller villages of the country, such as the town he had visited often as a child. You were beloved in your country, and had become lauded as the “princess of the people,” always pushing for your constituents to be represented and thought of at every turn, but you always made sure that Johnny knew that you couldn’t do any of it without him by your side. 

However, those outside of your borders tended to see you as much less kind and gentle, but rather stubborn and almost bitchy. You wouldn’t let your country’s people be used or walked over, refusing to give in to the demands of others that saw you as small and weak and risk your citizens’ wellbeing in the process. You sat in meeting with lawmakers, voice steady as you refused to even consider letting your constituents have their taxes raised in the name of increasing their own salaries, clashed with conglomerates that wanted you to turn a blind eye to pollution and mistreatment of their workers, even going as far as pressuring officials into dissolving royal contracts with major companies that relied on unfair practices, and you had even notably walked out of a meeting with a royal from another family after they had insinuated that perhaps you had let your public persona blind you to what was truly good for your country (in this case, letting their country use your resources without regard to the needs of the the common folk of yours).

Some other players in larger, wealthier countries had even decided that you were too much of an inconvenience, made too much noise, and wanted to eliminate you from your country’s line of succession by any means necessary. Because of this you had come to be assigned more guards over time, generally keeping a rotating team that you had jokingly nicknamed the 127 Squad because they seemed to have an endless supply of members. Some members like Ten, or Lucas rotated in during special occasions like state visits, and you occasionally had a knight-in-training such as the quiet Renjun or the child-like Jeno in addition to the usual two or three full-time guards. 

There were eight other consistent members that you had come to be familiar with, though; Haechan was loud and boisterous in a manner quite similar to your brother, while his best friend Mark was quiet, shy, and a little nervous with a sword despite all of his experience. Taeyong, Taeil, and Doyoung treated you like their child in different ways, and Jungwoo was dreamy and often in his own head (although you weren’t sure if maybe that was just a facade, since he was one of the first to act if you felt in danger). Your favorite story was how poor Jaehyun and Yuta had been banned from attending public events after they went unintentionally viral for their handsome looks during a press conference about a new retirement plan you had orchestrated.

Johnny was always the constant, though; he was at every event, every meeting, always directly to your right in a manner that had started more than one rumor about your professional relationship and how it was more than just professional after all. And as much as you would never admit it, you hated the rumors because of their semi-truth; sure, you weren’t in a relationship, but it’s not like you would be opposed to that at all. 

He was just as kind and funny as ever, but more mature and elegant now; he would help you out of your car even if there was a chauffer that was supposed to fill that role, lift children on his shoulders during your usual visits to local schools and smile with pride as they giggled and screamed. He would even sit next to you and run his hand between your shoulder blades when you had panic attacks about whether you were really fit to lead the country, reassuring you that your people loved you for a reason; not to mention that he had become very attractive over time; the boyish smiles were now replaced with kind grins, his armor now fit him like a glove, and every time he sowed the protective nature that he had developed toward you, you would swoon a little on the inside.

But there were strict rules about romance between royals and staff, if anyone found out that you even had a crush on him he would be moved out of your team and possibly out of your family entirely, which you couldn’t stand the idea of. So you kept your mouth shut, never letting your inhibitions take over you when he called your name with a kindness that made your knees weak, or when he would step in front of you in a protective manner at a rare threat made directly to your face. You had done well with it too, up until you had gone on your first state visit to another country without your parents or any other major officials.

You had been sent out to visit a country run by a set of princes almost double your age, with nobody but five members of your guard (Taeyong, Doyoung, Mark, Jaehyun, Ten, and of course Johnny) alongside you. The men were all openly uncomfortable with your presence at times; sometimes this was shown by you being excluded from conversations about “grown-up matters that didn’t concern you,” as you had once overheard the crown prince Leeteuk commenting, to even pressuring you with questions and comments that were bizarre at best and outright offensive at worst. You had tried to brush it off, since the visit was less than a week and very important, but it was hard to do so when you felt like you were having the life sucked out of you.

It wasn’t until the last day when you had finally had enough; Leeteuk had sat across from you, flanked by all of his fellow princes, and pushed a document that looked way too official to be presented in such a way to your side of the table with an expectant glare.

“What is this?”

“It’s the resolution that we’ve all been working on this week, I expect you to sign it for us now.”

“I’m sorry, I won’t sign something unless I know its contents. If you give me some time to look over it, I’d be happy to come back with my concerns and a signature if I feel it’s mutually beneficial.”

“I’m sorry?”

One of the other princes, Shindong, looked down at you with a glance of something resembling anger, and you could almost hear Johnny and Taeyong tensing at your sides, preparing to step in should the princes show signs of being a threat to your well-being.

“I mean, you say that it’s the resolution we’ve been working on, but I’ve been constantly shuttered out of any meaningful conversation about this legislature since I arrived. I don’t know what’s been done in front of me, let alone without me present, and by signing it I could be agreeing to any number of measures I don’t agree with or understand. I will not sign this unless I am given an adequate chance to look over it and bring my own concerns forward as a representative of my country.”

“See, I don’t think you understand how this works. You are in our country, under our roof, and we fully expect you to comply with our expectations while here. So you will sign this document.”

“Or what?”

You straightened yourself out, glaring daggers at the youngest prince (Kyuhyun, you believe) that had been so demanding to you. You could feel Johnny resting a hand on your shoulder, reassuring but warning, as Taeyong stepped out to certainly inform the other guards of the situation and have them start collecting your things to go home.

“If you force me to sign it, I and my guards will both bring the manner forward publicly that it was signed under duress. Any measure that you believe you could take to force me, such as physical punishment or holding me hostage, is an act of war by your government against a foreign diplomat on your soil and will be treated as such. I will not be threatened, forced, or coerced into giving my consent in a matter I do not understand, and the idea that I would do such a thing is actively preposterous at best and offensive at worst. So if you don’t mind, I will be leaving your country at the earliest opportunity, since it’s clear that you have no intent of cooperating with me and I will not stay in a place where I feel unwelcome and endangered. If this is an issue, please feel free to take it up with my guards or any citizen of my country, who will happily inform you of my stance on public policy that would affect them.”

You stood to leave, and Siwon matched your movement, grabbing your wrist with such force that you audibly hissed.

“Little girl, this is no business for you to be fighting against. Sign the papers and then you can go whenever you please.”

“My princess has stated that she intends to leave,” you were surprised by Johnny, stepping forward, forcing Siwon’s hand off of you before carefully pushing you behind him with one arm to shelter you from the men in front of you, “and as far as I am concerned, she gets what she wants when it’s her well-being at risk. Please stand down and allow her to leave, since we mean no harm. I’m sure that if this legislature is as important as you state it to be that she would need to blindly sign onto it, the king and queen would happily do instead, so I implore you to speak to them about the matter.”

Johnny walked you out, a hand around your waist with a stern expression as he kept looking back to the room of bewildered and infuriated princes. It wasn’t until he had accompanied you back to your room, firmly shutting and locking the door behind him, that he let the cold demeanor slip away. He asked how you were, a nervous expression on his face at the situation you had found yourselves in.

“I just...I want to go home. I want to go home and rest, and be with my family and friends again. I don’t feel safe here.”

He nodded solemnly, fingers dancing across your wrist as he lifted it to the level of your chest, scowling at the already-deepening purples and yellows where you’d been held.

“I’m sorry, I should have stepped in sooner.”

“You did everything right. You tried to let me handle it, and protected me when I couldn’t do it anymore.”

You leaned into his touch, and he seemed almost surprised as you let yourself fall completely into his arms, barely catching you. He held you upright for a moment, only pulling back when he noticed that you had started to cry.

“Princess...”

“Please, call me by my name. We’re friends, you deserve that much.”

He did so, gently taking you back into his grasp and reassuring you with a gentle swaying as you awaited the word of Taeyong that you could leave.

“I’m sorry, I can’t keep doing this anymore.”

He pulled back, concern and worry apparent in his expression at your bizarre change in tone.

“Can’t do what?”

“I..look, I love you. Not as my guard, not as my friend, but in a way that’s so much more than that. And I’ve been so scared to tell you because I knew it could get you taken from me, but you deserve to know. You’ve been nothing but kind and wonderful and hell, you’re perfect, but I can’t keep standing here, falling in love a little more every time you so much as look at me without telling you about it.”

He looked confused for a moment, but surprised you with a large, almost goofy smile that reminded you of your younger days with him.

“Don’t act like that, like it’s the end of it. I know it’s not allowed, just as much as you do, but I love you too and I’ve wanted to tell you forever.”

You laughed, almost bitter with the threat of separation between you two.

“How is it not the end of it?”

“I...I’ve been talking with your mother about...us. About how I feel. She’s going to remove me from the guard altogether, and I was going to move into an advising role for you where I’d be able to ask you out. I was planning on telling you after we returned form the visit, since it was only finalized after we arrived, but then...”

It took a moment to register what he had said, but as soon as it had clicked you threw your arms around him with an almost childlike excitement.

“I’ll be here for you until you don’t want me anymore, okay? I promise. Me and you, just like it’s been since you were sixteen.”

The words were gentle, kind, and you couldn’t help but relax at the truthfulness he carried in his tone. You wanted to stay like this forever, but it was all too soon that there was a knock on the door as Taeyong informed you that your car was waiting out front and the princes had finally agreed to stand down and let you leave in peace. You took a moment to collect yourself before heading to the door, and Johnny gave your hand a reassuring squeeze before opening it.

“Would you like me to ride with you today, your highness?”

“Actually, if it’s okay, I’d rather have Johnny with me. I’ve been under a lot of stress during this trip, and I find him rather comforting to have around.”

He stifled a laugh behind his hand, and you couldn’t help but grin at the almost knowing glance Taeyong spared you. You walked past the princes in uncomfortable silence, only sparing a small bow before you stepped into your car, Johnny following and moving to sit next to you as the door closed.

“So, we’ve got six hours until we’re back in our kingdom, do you want to play Super Mario Land or something?”

You burst out laughing, head falling back against his shoulder as you gave him a small nod through the rhythm of your breathing. He smiled as he gave you the old lime Game Boy, shifting to move an arm around you so he could watch you play, and you couldn’t help but notice how this felt just like home.

[thestaytinies]

Stray Kids: First Meeting (Awkward Edition)

Another Stray kids reaction. Feel free to request anything if you like!

Chan

Today was your first day on your new job. You were afraid but also excited. The company had a good reputation and you worked your butt off to make it to the position you applied for. The people on your job interview were all very kind, the only person you didn't meet that day was your future boss. The company was really satisfied with you so you got the chance to meet him today. You spend a long time in the bathroom trying to look your best to make the best first impression. When you arrived at the company, you were greeted by the secretary who informed you that there were cupcakes in the breakroom, because someone made them for his birthday and you could take one if you wanted, cause it would take a while before your boss had time for you. So you entered the breakroom and already saw a handsome man standing near the cupcakes. He hasn't noticed you so you thought you would introduce yourself. Just as you were about to speak up, he reached for one of the cupcakes and stuffed the whole thing in his mouth. That's when his eyes locked with yours. You just looked at him awkwardly while he stared back at you, his mouth full with cupcake. You didn't know how to react so you excused yourself and left the break room. You were thinking about going to the bathroom to calm your nerves, which just increased after this scene but then you saw the secretery rushing to the breakroom. As she opened the door she said: "There you are sir, I was looking everywhere for you. Please hurry up the new employee is waiting for you." Oh no. The handsome cupcake guy came out and looked at you. He smiled but you could tell that he was emberassed. "Hello my name is Bang Chan and I'm your new boss. I look forward to working with you". What a great start, you thought.

Woojin

You were walking around the city, searching for a birthday present for a friend of yours. It had been a long exhausting day und you started to feel dizzy, but you still haven't found anything. That's when you saw your friend in front of a shop, looking at the clothes that were displayed. Perfect timing. You thought about buying him the outfit. You had to distract him, so he wouldn't buy it for himself. You decided to greet him and take him maybe to Mcdonalds so that he would forget about the outfit. You sneaked up behind him and slapped his ass. That was your usual way of greeting him but when he turned around you almost got an heart attack. If someone woud've taken a picture it surely would go viral. Your shocked and his unamused expression, a perfect combination. "Ehm, uhh you know...", you speaked up. In your panic you continued while shouting "I'm so so sorry I thought you were my friend!!" "I see I also thought you were my friend, that's why I didn't really react." You were lucky that he thought that, he could've knocked you out. You tried to make this situation less awkward. "It seems like you attract people who like to grab ass." He had to laugh at your statement and said, "seems so. I'm Woojin and what's your name Miss ass-graber?" It was your turn to laugh and you told him your name. It was an really embarassing accident but through that you gained a new good friend.

Minho

You were enjoying your bath that you have been waiting for all week and used bathbomb that made your whole bath sparkle with gold glitter. It was relaxing but you got bored after a while. You started to play with the glitter and smeared it in your face. You drawed yourself a mustache and covered your eyebrows with it. Thinking that you looked really funny, you took a sillie selfie and send it to your best friend. They recently changed their number so you tried to remember it and typed it in your phone. You sent the picture and wrote "come join me to have some fun". The caption was seductive at purpose because you two always wrote like that. But the picture was just silly, you could tell that you were in the bath but you couldn't see anything that a stranger shouldn't see. After 2 minutes your phone notificated you of a new message. "That was fast", you thought because they normaly needed at least half an hour to reply to you. What you didn't expect though was a picture of a really attractive guy who smiled kind of mischivously. You thought your best friend was just messing with you but you were horrified when you read the text that followed. "Sorry wrong number sweety, but I would still like to join you!". Oh no oh no oh no! You just send a really hot guy, a really embarassing and silly picture. You wanted to drown in the bath but you decided to ignore this situation and not reply to him. It's not like he knew who you were. But it didn't seem like he wanted you to forget because he still messaged you after that. "Hey don't ignore me, no one ignores the great Minho!", Hellooo how are you doing glitter mustache", "Please reply this could be the start of a beautiful friendship!" His last message kind of touched you so you replied to him and indeed it was the start of something beautiful.

Changbin

You were walking around your local park, letting go of your stress. You really needed the fresh air but you got tired after a while, so you sat on a bench that had a nice view across the park. You enjoyed the scenerie when you heard a voice behind the tree that was left from you. "So what do you want to eat today? I think I should go for a fast snack since I have a lot of work to do." You looked in the direction and saw a cute guy sitting underneath the tree. He was probably talking to someone on the phone even though it dudn't really seem like it. You turned back when he said in a really cute voice "ahhh I love you soooo much!" Oh so he was talking to his girlfriend, what a bummer. You didn't want to eavesdrop even more so you got up and started to leave. You had to walk past him and looked one last time when you noticed that he was actually talking to someone on his right side, which you couldn't see on the bench. Well it wasn't really someone, more a something. A cute snorlax plushy. You were so suprised that you didn't notice the "Oh!" coming out of your mouth. The guy noticed you right away and got red in the face really fast. You understood that he was embarassed since he didn't seem like the type who would talk to plushies. You didn't know him but since you both seemed like students, there still was a chance that you meet again and that you maybe knew soneone that knew him. So he quickly asked you, “please don’t tell anyone that I carry a stuffed animal around with me and even talk to it.” He looked like he was about to cry, so you assured him that you wouldn't do that. "Don' t worry I wont tell anyone! How about we grab something to eat and I might even be able to help you with your work?" You didnt know where you got this courage from but the boy seemed happy and agreed. "Sure im Changbin and I'll pay, see it as hush money." You both laughed at his joke and went on your way to grab something to eat.

Hyunjin

You were sitting in a lecture, starting to fall asleep, cause you had put an allnighter the night before. It also didn't really help that your professor had such a hypnotizing voice and the topic he was talking about also didn't interest you. You glanced to the right and saw that the goodlooking guy in your lecture was falling asleep. You chuckled and tried to return you attention to the lecture. You often heard girls talking about him and you agreed with everything they said, but you never talked to him and weren't that much interesered in talking to him or anyone for that matter. That's what university does to you. The professor was talking about something like marriage and began with "for example..let's say Miss y/n and Mr. Hyunjin are getting married.." Oh oh, you didn't expect that. You heard the gurls a row behind you whispering something like "why did the professor choose her?", but you didn't mind that, you were more focused on Hyunjin who gave you a shy smile when your eyes locked. The professor continued to use you two as a example and when the bell rang you knew you had to get out as fast as you could to calm your nerves. But you were stopped when Hyunjin stood right in front of you. "Hey how about we exchange numbers so that we can get to know each other better? I would like to know what my future wife is like." What a flirt, you thought but agreed since it seemed like he was just as nervous as you, telling from his body language. And even though your first interaction was kind of awkward, it was the beginning of something great.

Jisung

Your friends invited you to go to a bar with them. You agreed because it had been a long time since you went out and had some fun. You just had to control your liqiuor because after some drinks you tried to fight every stranger that came across you. Luckily you knew how much you could handle. The night out was fun so far, you catched up with your friends and talked about many random topics. You knew you were near your limit so you decided to get a non-alcoholic cocktail. But the bartender was new and you were so distracted by talking with your friends that you didn't notice that the drink was actually mixed with alcohol. After you finished it, you observed how your behaviour kind of changed and how you were getting annoyed at the simplest things. To your luck, your friends decided that it was getting late and wanted to head home. You all said your goodbyes and you walked home so you could sober up a little bit. Just a street away from your apartment, a guy accidentally brushed your shoulder while passing by you. It wasn't a big deal normaly but you couldn't control yourself and yelled: "Oh so you want to fight now?" The guy was suprised by your outburst but saw that you weren't that sober. "No, I'm sorry it was an accident. But you shouldn't walk around at night in a state like that Miss. There are many dangerous people out there." "I ain't afraid of anyone! I know how to defend myself." You wanted to show him a karate move you saw on tv but you tripped and landed with your face on the floor. You don't remember what happened after that because you blacked out. After a while you woke up again when you felt something cold against your head. The guy you were yelling at looked at you and smiled. "I'm glad your awake, I thought I had to call an ambulance." You were shocked, "you took care of me even though I wanted to fight you?" "I know you couln't really control yourself and to be honest, it was kind of funny. I'm Jisung by the way." That's when you really looked at his face and saw how cute and good-looking he was. He offered to walk you home and you agreed. After you finally went into your apartment, you jumped on your bed and fell asleep, not knowing how happy you would feel in the morning, finding a piece of paper, with a number and the name Jisung written on it in your jacket.

Felix

When you adopted your cat you'd never imagine how much trouble it would cause you. He was normaly good behaved and you could leave him alone in your apartment, without having to worry about going back to some damage. But he had one habit that was the cause of all your stress. He liked to steal the underwear from your neighbours. He didn't care if it was women's or men's underwear and just stole whatever he could find. You didn't know which underwear belonged to which neighbour and you didn't want to go around asking your neighbours about their underwear. So you did the next logical thing and just stored them in your basement. You felt like a creep but at least it didnt seem like anyone was suspecting you or your cat so at least you were save for now. But that would change very quickly. You left the elevator at your floor when you heard someone shout. "Hey, give that back that's mine!" You looked carefully around the corner and saw your cute, new neighbour Felix chasing your cat, that had black underpants in his mouth. The funniest thing was the "Yeet" written on it. Your cat had very good reflections and dodged every move of him, so that he got frustrated. "Come on just give it back! What do you even need it for?" You almost laughed but then you remembered that he would probably ask the other neighbours about the cat and then you would get exposed. You knew you had to step in. "Great, I've never actually talked to him and this will be our first interaction" you thought. "Better get it over quickly". You shouted you cats name and he immediately listened. "Give me that in your mouth." He complied and you turned to Felix. "Im really sorry about that. Please dont tell anyone what happened. It's a bad habit of his and I don't know how to change that. I don't know if the landlord will let me stay here if he hears about that, especially not, if he finds all the underwear in my basement!" You didn't mean to tell him everything but it kind of just came out. For a moment he was shocked but then he had to laugh, "dont worry I wont tell anyone. I'm just glad that my underwear didnt go to your collection. How about that? I help you get rid of all the evidence and you will cook for me today? Since a certain cat kept me from getting grocery shopping." You were more than happy for this deal since you got the opportunity to get to know him better. How lucky you were for adopting your cheeky cat, you thought.

Seungmin

You sat in your favorite lecture with your favorite professor. The reason for it being your favorite lecture was, that almost everyone was attending it. You liked when the room was full of people because you wouldn't stand out to much. The reason for everyone attending was that the professor gave extra credit for being there, since it was a morning class and he didn't like teaching in an almost empty room. He also didn't care what everyone did as long as they wouldn't disturb his lecture, that's why he was your favorite professor. You still paid attention to him but he talked about a topic today that you already knew pretty well, so you decided to treat yourself and do something fun instead. You recently found a good fanfic and were on the last chapters of it. You started to read and didn't pay any attention to your surroundings. The fanfic got so intense and for a minute you thought it would end up in some angst but the couple ended up happy together. Now it was time for the final chapter and the author promised some steamy smut scenes. And oh boy, they didn't lie when they said that they would get intense. You were so focused on the final scene that you barelly heard the voice beside you. "How can you read this with a blank face?" You looked at the boy talking to you and saw how handsome he was. You probably would've gotten embarassed if his look didnt tell you that he was just curious and not judging you. So you just answered him casually. "I dont know, i think I just practiced it enough, so that people wouldn't stare at my phone immediately when they see me making a expression." "Interesting, I think you could play poker or something and make much money with it. But honestly the chapters you have read were pretty good. What's this fic called?" So you told him about it and that was the beginning of Seungmin sitting beside you in this lecture and getting some new fic recommendations from you.

Jeongin

You were sitting in the community kitchen of your college dorms, with your friends. One of them decided to cook for all of you, so you joined them in the kitchen so they wouldn't get too bored while cooking. You all were laughing and having fun. That's when the topic of the new guy came up. He recently moved in and from what you heard about him, he seemed really cute and nice. Some of your friends already talked to him but you mostly spend your time in your room, so you haven't had the opportunity to meet him yet. The topics of your conversation changed every minute until it came to movies and shows. You recently started a new anime and told your friends about it. It had the perfect mix of fight scenes and intense, emotional and funny moments. There was a particular fight scene where you had to laugh for a good 5 minutes, cause it looked so ridiculous. You wanted to make your friends laugh, so you stood up and showed them the move. This was actually your first try so you weren't sure how it went exactly but you still tried it. You took your leg in you hand, behind your back and bend a little forward. But your hands slipped and your leg snapped back. What you didn't expect was the impact, it felt like you just hit someone in the stomach. You turned around and saw a guy with a pained expression lying on the floor. So it wasn't just a feeling. You immediately started to apalogize and asked him if you could somehow help him. You heard the name Jeongin around you and realized that you just kicked the new guy. Talk about good first impressions. But to your surprise, he had one of the brightest smiles you've seen, when he looked at you. "Oh it's okay! Nothing bad happened. It's nice to meet you but please don't greet me like that everytime." You were relieved and your friend invited him to eat with you guys as an apology. That was your first encounter with him, but you were sure that both of you wouldn't forget it so fast.

[royalromancefanfic]

Chapter 7

Harry’s POV

“Over here!�� “Prince Harry!” “Prince Harry!” “I love you!!” I heard shrieks and cries in many different directions (some in English, others in unfamiliar tongues -- South Asian languages I presumed), as I made my way through the crowd that had gathered once myself, my private secretary, Edward and POs exited our car.  

People had come from far and wide to see me open a new primary school at Banganga -- a village just on the outskirts of Mumbai. It was a place where red sandy dirt roads rolled on for miles and entrepreneurial women sold freshly caught fish, spices, local fruit and vegetables from baskets along the roadsides, and barefoot children played with tires, footballs, bottles and whatever else they could make a game out of. The best part of it all was how they played without a care in the world and better yet, with the biggest smiles on their faces. From my experience, the people were kind and humble. It was a place that was colourful, bold, bustling and seemed like a real community. I had tried my hardest to stop when I could to shake hands and wave at the women, men and children who’d come out in the blistering 30 degree heat. I was thankful that they’d invited me to their village and welcomed me (and unfortunately the annoying media) with open arms.

Four days into the tour, Gran and Grandpa were having a ‘rest day’ whilst I ventured out on an engagement to unveil the opening of the school. The school was run by a small local charity that aims to lift children out of poverty through education. Gran’s office were keen on me coming on as a patron, but I wanted to come out and see the charity first. Sentable, my commitments in the UK as well as my other global projects did take up most of my time. I was happy to show some support and come out to unveil the new primary school though. 

Arjun Kapoor, the founder and Head of Outreach for the charity was giving us a tour of the grounds before the ribbon cutting ceremony. He introduced himself before continuing on. “Pleased to meet you royal highness,” He bowed on first sighting and reached out to greet me.

“You too,” I shook his hand. “You can just call me Harry. It’s a pleasure to be here. Thank you for inviting us down.” I took off my sunglasses and allowed them to balance on the top of my head, squinting at the sun, before introducing Arjun to Edward and the rest of the group. 

Arjun introduced me to various members of staff, as we walked around the site. The school had several large classrooms (enough to house years 3, 4 and 5), a canteen, medical room and large outdoor gardens. They had planted trees in the back and had beds of soil ready for the first round of students to start planting smaller plants as part of school projects. After a quick 30-minute tour we had made it full-circle and I was ushered forward to say a few words before the ribbon cutting. Local press had surrounded us and there were a few international news wires that were hoping to get some photos. I recognised a few faces, as it always tended to be the same people covering the Royal beat. I made a quick speech and then we’d been invited by Arjun to play a round of footy with a group of kids who would start attending the school the following week. 

It was meant to be 5-a-side, but due to the large amounts of people there it just became a random kick-about. And at one point I had four kids tackling me at one time. I found it amusing when someone’s five-year-old girl came onto our makeshift pitch only to just grab the ball and curl into it. She’d decided the ball was a giant lollypop and decided on licking it until some of the kids and I playfully tickled her off.  We found out her name was Nisha. We played peak-a-boo until Nisha got tired and lay on the floor giggled out. The kids had absolutely made my day. I had a fantastic time and was happy that I’d made the effort to come out. By the time we’d finished and got back into the car I was covered in red dust. Although I knew I wasn’t going to become a patron, I knew I’d have a special place in my heart for the school. 

We had a long ride back to our hotel, so I took it as time to tend to my phone. “Did you see that adorable little kid grab the ball?” I laughed as I sorted through some photos on my phone. Josh had taken a few snaps, as I’d asked him to. I wanted to keep some photos for my own memories. 

“I did. You did very well to pry her off,” Ed laughed. “She certainly stole the show with onlookers.” Ed tilted his phone to me and showed me a video that had been uploaded onto Twitter by someone. It was already starting to go viral. “They love Nisha online.”

“Ha! Good!” I laughed and then turned back to my phone. “Those kids were precious.” I was happy that the focus was on Nisha and the rest of the children, rather than on me.

In the last two days there had been rumours about me dating a mystery woman swirling about in the tabloids. It was worrying to me how close the descriptions matched that of Leonie’s profile. Somehow they’d been told my mystery woman was tall, tanned and brown-haired. For some reason the press had wrongly picked this up as her being a tanned American brunette. 

The press were now very much playing a game of ‘Guess Who’. Trying to pair me with any brunette I’d ever spoken to in my life. It was almost like whoever talked to the press knew Leonie and I or had seen us together. My POs Josh and Scott were the only ones that had seen Leonie and I together, but they knew better than to go to the press. I’d also made them swear to not tell anyone, not even Ed. I hadn’t told anyone that we’d been dating and even denied the rumours when asked outright by those close to me. “Anymore rumours going round?” I asked Ed as I tried to play casual.

“No real updates,” He looked up from his phone then across at me. “I mean they’re just rumours after all right?” I could see him watching me from the corner of my eye. I continued looking down at my phone scrolling through photos -- avoiding his gaze. “It doesn’t matter unless you actually are seeing someone... because then those rumours may actually affect them.”

Scott coughed, making me draw my eyes up to him in the front seat. It was his way of trying to get me to be honest with Ed. “Might want to get something for that nasty cough, Scott.” I said as I looked at him wide-eyed.

“Sorry, Harry. Just had something in my throat.” His eyes fell and he went back to looking straight ahead. “Apologies.”

“I don’t know what you’re up to Harry.” Ed started sternly. “But I have a feeling you are seeing someone.” He began pointing his phone at me. 

“What? Women’s intuition?” I scoffed teasing him. “You sound like a scorned lover. I’m not seeing anyone Ed.” I wanted to protect the beginnings of what I had with Leonie and I felt like I had to keep people out of it if there was ever any chance of it lasting. In the past I’d been so naive and complacent when dating. Chelsy was splashed all over the papers within a week of knowing her and Cressida was the same too -- only because I tried to use her to make Chelsy jealous. I was hoping to keep Leonie to myself for a while. I had to deny everything to Ed.

“Okay. Then maybe you’re messing around with someone on a frequent basis.” He tried to rephrase himself. “Chilling? Is that what you young people call it nowadays?” He rolled his eyes. “All I’m saying is, if there is someone... you have to let me know. Not only does she affect your reputation, but you affect hers too.”

I thought about that for a while and agreed with Ed. But I still wasn’t ready. “What time’s dinner?” I quickly changed the subject. 

Ed just shook his head, before reeling off our plans for the rest of the day. Deep down he knew I was dating someone, but he couldn’t quite prove it. Yet.

Leonie’s POV

“Ooo I’ve got a good one,” Jessica (our Fashion Editor’s EA) started, as she cupped her mug of tea. She frequently came over for a natter with my EA Aster. “Who’d you rather? Tom Hardy or David Beckham?”

Aster was so into their conversation that she hadn’t noticed me walking towards my office. Her desk was stationed just outside of my office. “Easy. Tom Hardy any day.” She inhaled drawing in air. “That guy is so beautifully rough and ragged.” She fanned herself. “His wife is one lucky woman.”

I cleared my throat slightly to draw their attention. Aster jumped up and Jessica stood wide-eyed. She jumped away from Aster’s laptop screen and stood up straight, as she smoothed down her black dress. “Oh I’m so sorry, Leonie. Jess and I were just yammering on about our celeb crushes. Did you need something? Anything I can help with?”

Aster had on the cutest houndstooth skirt and white shirt on today. She’d left her medium length auburn hair to sit perfectly just above her shoulders. Not only was she sharp with her fashion game, but also she happened to be the loveliest, most organised EA. She made sure my diary was never too packed and also had worked at British Vogue as soon as she’d left school, so could tell me all the ins and outs of the business. She was my Executive Assistant and also when it came to work -- my secret weapon.

“That’s fine,” I chuckled lightly at her. “Just wanted to check to see if my meeting with Verity is in her office? I know we had to rearrange a couple of times.”

Aster quickly minimised the gossip website on her screen that Jessica and her were drooling over and clicked onto my calendar. She gave it a moment and then nodded. “Yes,” She smiled at me. “It’s in her office in 13 minutes exactly.” She pointed to a small box on her desk. “Also, that box came for you. It was delivered by a courier to the post room.”

“Hmm...” I hadn’t ordered anything and I wasn’t expect anything either.  

“Want me to put it in ‘the pile’?” Aster asked. Everyone at British Vogue had a pile of random things that were sent to them. Our legal team had a never-ending, difficult job of trying to figure out if most of the gifts breached our anti-bribery rule. 

“Nah, I’ll take it.” It had been scanned by security in the post room, so it couldn’t have been anything too crazy. “Thank you.” I went back into my office, but kept the door open. I normally kept the door open, unless I was having a private conversation/on a private call. 

I continued to hear Jessica and Aster chatting about the latest news on gossip sites.

I opened the gift box slowly and inside was a white card and what looked to be luxury Indian sweets. The card read: Wish you were here

I smiled at the thought of how he was still thinking of me. I managed to catch the news that morning, which showed footage of the Queen, Duke of Edinburgh and Harry at a Hindu temple.

“Corrrr look at Prince Harry in that tight shirt. Someone’s been working out.” Jessica said. My ears immediately picked up when I heard his name and my eyes darted over to her and Aster. They were still on a tabloid website. I quickly tossed the note back in the box and closed it. 

“What’s he in India now?” Aster then proceeded to read the headline of the article about him out loud. Aster smiled. “Now he’s a good one. Who’d you rather? Prince Harry or Prince William?”

“Harry... definitely Harry,” Jessica said dreamily. “He’s the hottest royal and still has his hair. Plus I tend to fancy a bit of a bad boy.”

“Is he still with Chelsy or is it Cressida?” Aster asked. “Ooo they were spotted at that party weren’t they? But then there’s these new rumours about a brunette!” She went on excitedly. One thing Aster did love was a gossip. I listened more intently. 

“Ohhh yeah,” Jessica nodded. 

“Means I might have a chance.” Aster flipped her naturally red hair. “Soon he’ll be coming home to us redheads.”

“I heard he’s really dating someone new. They’re not just rumours.” Jessica started off loud and then settled into a lower range. It was almost like she had just remembered she was at work. I leaned forward in my seat and then stopped myself and decided to use my laptop as my prop. I clicked on random things aimlessly as I listened in. “My best friend’s cousin, Katya, is dating of those van Straubenzee brothers. She’s said Cressida is real old news. No one in their group likes her, only Princess Eugenie.”

Aster gasped. “Hmmm she seems the type no one would like.”

Jessica continued. “Chelsy is the only one Harry actually really loved, but she’s sleeping with some tennis instructor. And Harry’s apparently dating someone knew. She’s foreign... American or something. Real tall, tanned and brunette.”

Jessica and Aster were so into their conversation. The aristo’ circle in London was so small and well connected that there was no wonder Jessica’s contact knew Van/Charlie. I just hoped the news about Harry dating someone would stop spreading. The press had picked up on it in the last few days. Their profile/description was wrong, but it wasn’t too far from me. Unknowingly of my background, I could have been classed as ‘tanned’ and my hair was dark brown (although I was not a brunette) and I was seemingly ‘foreign’ (although not an American). The thought of the media finding out who I was made me nervous. I stopped listening in on Jessica and Aster.

I picked up my phone and casually went through my Instagram feed to distract myself. I began scrolling and ‘liked’ most photos. I then saw Jas had posted. She was in New York for a few days, before she had to fly to Toronto. I commented on the picture ‘Miss you lady!’. I continued scrolling and saw Papa’s Instagram feed. I tried to get him off Instagram a while ago, but for some reason the French Embassy thought it was great that he had a ‘human face’ with a personal account. There was a photo of Pa and Prince Charles mid-conversation sharing a glass of whisky in my parents front room. Their front room! 

My heart dropped.

What. The. F*ck. What the actual f*ck?!

I glanced at the photo again to see if there was a caption. There was no caption, but everyone knew it was Prince Charles in the photo. It was freaking Prince Charles!

“Leonie --” Aster’s voice snapped me out of my haze. “You’re going to be late.”

“Sorry,” I looked up at her annoyed at having been interrupted. 

“Your meeting with Verity.” She reminded me. 

I snapped out of it instantly. “Yes, Verity,” I quickly got up from my seat. I grabbed my notepad and pen from my desk. “Thanks, Aster.” I then made my way to the meeting. 

What Pa was doing having Prince Charles at the house. I did not know. But I had to find out what was going on and why they’d become friends all of a sudden. Did he know something I hadn’t? Did Harry let him know we were dating? Did Harry know they were having regular rendezvous?

[cadpadawan]

What a time to be alive!

On March 11 2020 the World Health Organization declared that the outbreak of a viral disease, with a name similar to a certain brand of light beer, had reached the level of a global pandemic. In the panic reaction, that ensued the reports about the number of the infected, the mass demand on toilet paper and instant noodles skyrocketed on an intergalactic scale. As I let this sink in, it becomes increasingly clear that not even the best of stand-up comedians could have made this shit up!

A great deal of the recent public narrative has focused on the importance of social distancing, and something as surreal as the correct hand washing technique. It turns out, that an acute and extremely violent diarrhea is not a typical symptom of this disease. So, even in the most unfortunate case, that I would become infected with this novel coronavirus-thingy, it wouldn't be exactly the most rational manouver to stockpile 500 rolls of toilet paper, in preparation for a two-week isolation period. Unless, of course, I happened to have some weird pre-existing medical condition that would force me to poop runny and fluid shit non-stop in this doomsday bunker of mine. So far, I haven't been diagnosed with such a syndrome, not that I know of, anyway.

Of course...

There is always the chance, that the universe had a special treat preserved just for me, for a special occassion, like this:

SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!

As for the counter-measures...I have actually practiced the noble art of social distancing and personal hygiene long before it started trending. You see, I'm not exactly a people's person. I'm more like one of those ”mind your own business and fuck off!”-persons. And coming to think of it... What kind of person does NOT wash hands after taking a shit, anyways?!?

Seriously, though...Now the University of Applied Sciences, where I am currently studying mechanical engineering, has also closed doors. The University administration had the forethought to do so in advance, a week before the Finnish government ordered all schools to go online. The ongoing product development school project is pretty easy to execute online, luckily. So, in this respect, this global panic should not compromise my studies that much. I'm quite self-disciplined, so this sudden change of plans did not exactly freak me out. I think I have the emotional strenght to focus on this school project, despite the fact that it would be much more pleasant to binge on alcoholic beverages and PS4 for the next couple of weeks. On a side note, I've been playing the novelty PS4 game Death Stranding for a few months now. Suddenly, the dystopian atmosphere of the game does not seem that far-fetched. We are turning into something similar to the game's isolated prepper characters. (Or, to be more to-the-point, I doubt there ever was a time when humanity was truly connected – when there was no physical barriers, we built the barriers in our minds, that's for sure...)

While conducting an in-depth online research into the topic of the school project, I also went through the trouble of getting the facts straight about the coronavirus via some quality sources of information. Let's face it: social media does not qualify as such. If I was dumb enough to take the corona-garbage in my Facebook newsfeed seriously, it would mean that this COVID-19 outbreak was either:

1) a punishment from a narcissistic god, on the grounds that humanity is a bunch of ungrateful little shits, wallowing in a cesspool of sin – homosexuality, gender equality and veganism, in particular.

2) a pre-emptive strike in the forth-coming WW3, conducted by a biological weapon that was engineered in some top-secret level-5 security military lab in Wuhan, China.

3) A dick move played on the Jumanji-board, that some douchebag accidentally came across in the estate of his deceased grandmother.

4) A Black Death reconstruction executed by the aliens responsible for this shit show simulation.

So, what the actual fuck is this coronavirus, then?

We are witnessing the triumph of an infectious disease, that is caused by a severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus-2 (SARS-CoV2). The COVID-19 monicker seems to stand for a novel CO-rona-VI-rus D-isease that emerged in 2019.

Coronaviruses are fairly common in the animal kingdom, although, this novel coronavirus seems to be one of a kind, that has not been previously detected. If I asked my internet friends here, they would probably say something along the lines of ”I'm not saying it was aliens...but it was aliens!”

Either that, or Mother Nature just wants to kill us all?

The source of the virus is not yet fully known. The latest findings suggest all kinds of bat-related stuff. So, I guess it would be fairly safe to assume, that the world has now officially gone bat shit crazy? The year 2020 will be forever remembered as the Great Pandemic of toilet paper hoarding. Officially, the common symptoms of COVID-19 include high fever, dry coughing, shortness of breath, fatigue paired with muscle and joint pain. No mention of convulsive diarrhea anywhere. Are the government officials withholding some crucial information, in the best dystopian fashion? I guess it would prove pretty hard to maintain morale, if the public was told that we are going to dive in some deep shit, in the most literal meaning of the expression.

Well, I didn't stock up on emergency supplies.

I'm a student with no budget, for fuck's sake. I live from one government hand-me-down to the next, or as we say in Finnish: ”kädestä suuhun”. It literally means ”from hand to mouth”. I could not possibly afford to stockpile shitload of TP or anything else, for that matter. Not that I even wanted to. I find it extremely hard to believe, that the world is going to run out of toilet paper any time soon...or...if a single drop of bat guano is going to collapse all civilization as we know it, then...maybe all this so-called ”civilization” is not so civilized to begin with... From a bystander's view, this onslaught of basic human stupidity, that this pandemic seems to have released upon us, makes it fairly easy to relate to the idea, that Mother Nature really wants us all dead. Maybe...just maybe...the real virus that is threatening all lifeforms on this blue planet is human, not some small agent that replicates inside the cell of an organism. After millennias of gang-bang-thank-you-Ma’m it's payback time?

Whatever the case, it's peculiar that, at this point, the virus seems to have entered Europe via Italy. Well, it still remains to be confirmed, but...if this actually proves to be the case, it would bear an uncanny resemblance to another historical pandemic from way back – the Black Death, that swepth across Europe in the 14th century. Well, y'know...history on repeat etc...

The Black Death, a.k.a. The Great Bubonic Plague, was the first major outbreak of a pandemic on the European continent. It probably originated somewhere along the Mongol conquest of China, due to a pathogen spillover event. Such an event most likely took place somewhere in the Hubei province in China in late 2019. A reservoir population with a high pathogen prevalence, like maybe some killer bats from outer space, or a secret military lab, came into contact with a novel and unsuspecting host population – the ordinary chinese folks doing some grocery shopping at the local market.

Back in the day, the war-mongering Mongols obviously had no clue about the correct hand washing technique, or cough etiquette. The plague spread like wildfire among the troops. It was caused by a bitchy pathogen, a bacterium called Yersinia Pestis. Eventually, the pathogen traveled down the Silk Road to the seaports of Europe, among the Mongol army. To be precise, the pathogen was actually carried by fleas that black rats were infested with. When the Mongol armies arrived at Europe, things got a bit gruesome. Djanibek Khan was the commander of a massive Crimean tatar force, that sieged the port city of Kaffa in 1348. By conducting a somewhat brutal manouver in biological warfare, Djanibek Khan's troops catapulted infected corpses over the city walls. A few infected Genoese traders managed to escape – and introduced the Black Death onto Italian soil. The rest is history.

Ok, let's assume the internet scholars, religious freaks and conspiracy theorists were right for once. Why does the entry point always have to be Italy?

It's almost as if the history of mankind wanted to suggest, that God had some serious bone to pick with the Italians. What have the Italians done in the past, that seems to have compromised the cosmic balance so seriously?

Luigi, you did not by any chance place a slice of pineapple on the pizza, did you?!?

Ever since the Dark Ages, politically motivated monoteistic religions have always blamed normal people for any kind of disasters. The concept of God's mercy is convenient in such a way, that premature death in the hands of any natural disaster would automatically grant an instant VIP-entrance to the delights of afterlife paradise, for a beliver, whereas for a non-believer it most certainly would mean a severe charcoal-grilled punishment in the never-ending flames of hell. In this respect, these so-called Abrahamic religions have not really changed in the last 4000 years. If history can teach us only one thing, it would be: the vast majority of mankind is actually dumb as shit.

So, what can I do?

Not much, except keep avoiding stupid people, as usual, and keep washing my hands as if I had a severe obsessive-compulsive disorder. Yeah, I'll just keep focus on my studies. Whenever I need a break from the depths of mechanical engineering, I'll just check on the news to see the most recent updates in this global shit show. It's funny, when I read about the history of mankind, I can't help but think, that my ancestors must have been of a special kind of stupid in many ways, indulging in a behaviour that was harmful to themselves in the long term. As I watch the stupidity of mankind unfolding right before my very eyes, I feel the occassional urge to book the next flight to Northern Italy and start licking doorknobs in the local supermarkets, relentlessly. Maybe I could wash the sour taste from my mouth with an ice-cold Corona beer, with a slice of lime in it. The path of glory has been well-defined, like aeons ago. The issue has always been how to bring everyone along for the ride. With the general attitude being ”Me first & The Gimmie Gimmies” (the best band name ever, by the way!), we're heading towards the biggest butt-fuck in the history of humanity. Maybe we'd be better off hoarding lubricant, instead of toilet paper?

[mastcomm]

Songs? Nah. 10k.Caash Is Making Whatever Comes Next.

DALLAS — On the January day that 10k.Caash released his latest mixtape, “Planet Swajjur,” he skipped throwing a big party and instead holed up at Legacy Music Group, a recording studio in Dallas’s Deep Ellum neighborhood.

His hair, styled in the mullet-adjacent local style known as the shag, was two tones of green — aquarium-chemical aqua at the top, nuclear neon at the tail — and he wore a Kanye West “Jesus Is King” sweatshirt.

In between snacking on Sour Patch Kids and Fritos Flavor Twists, he repeatedly headed into the recording booth and asked his small circle of producers to run through an increasingly odd collection of plinks and bloops. When he heard one he liked, 10k.Caash, 18, began spitting out loose splurts of words — “Pixie sticks!” “Move your muscles!” “Everything geeked up, I’m saying Urkel!” He hurled words against the beat, rapping as if he was learning to rap without knowing that rap music already existed.

After one particularly squelchy number, his friend and mentor, the rapper G.U.N., shouted, “This beat making me want to slam my head into the wall. It’s a 10k beat for sure!”

What 10k.Caash was working toward making wasn’t quite a song, at least not as they’ve been made for dozens of years. It was a pastiche — part rap song, part sound effect, part comic sketch. It felt like an evolutionary step forward: the post-song.

“Every song should have its own twist, every song should be different,” he said the following afternoon at Geekletes, an e-sports facility in DeSoto, about a half-hour south of Dallas, where he’d come to play Fortnite. On the wild, 16-minute roller coaster that is “Planet Swajjur,” his inputs are video-game circus chirps, vertiginous alarm peals, flatulent bass slaps that sound like they’re stuck to the ground and so on. It’s a more polished take on the slapstick demolition-derby energy of his debut, “The Creator,” one of last year’s most preposterously engaging albums, full of quasi-nonsensical, punk space-rap redolent of the early, rowdy Beastie Boys.

This is the sound of modern virality — the soundtrack to it, really. 10k.Caash’s music exists somewhere near the intersection of songcraft, dance clips, buzzy video and Foley art. The results are, technically speaking, songs, but they don’t function like songs typically do. They’re exceedingly short, jolting, humorous and designed for interaction: The perfect set of noises to accompany a video of someone who looks like they’re trying to dance their way out of a box. Which is to say, viral videos on apps like TikTok and Triller (also Instagram and, to a lesser degree, YouTube), where his music is most at home.

Rapping isn’t his motivation; dance is. When 10k.Caash is in the booth listening to sounds and barking out words, “I think about how I would dance to it,” he said. “What dance I would do to this, what dance I would do to this lyric?”

The rapper Rico Nasty, one of 10k.Caash’s close friends, said she sees him as a multifaceted performer. “I never look at him as just an artist. He does so much,” she said. “He can come up with a different dance every month if he wants.”

These days on the global viral song charts, you’ll find conventionally successful hip-hop and pop songs, and also obscurities and spoken sketches. But the social internet is like one long interwoven dance challenge. It is its own medium, and the music being made specifically for it is becoming its own style, breaking down the traditional song format into components and amplifying the loudest and stickiest parts.

G.U.N. is frequently in the studio with 10k.Caash, and said he initially found his approach confounding. “I’d be like, ‘Yo, you got to make it more like a song.’ He’d be like, ‘Nah G.U.N., watch this.’ And at the end product, I’m just like, damnnnnnn — he taught me something new: Everything doesn’t have to make sense for it to be good.”

10k.Caash, born Treyvon Britt, said he doesn’t listen to much contemporary hip-hop (“I don’t even listen to Drake”) but is drawn to distinctive voices, citing Little Richard and Sir Mix-A-Lot, and distinctive sounds: “cartoons, gaming sounds, anything that sounds out of the ordinary” or just “Instagram snippets people send me.”

The optimal sound of TikTok or Triller is also shaped by the strictures of the medium — it requires immediate shock, catchiness and lighthearted inclusivity. “Think of the deliberateness behind a video that would be played on MTV in the beginning of MTV,” said Justin Duran, Def Jam’s senior director of marketing and 10k.Caash’s project manager. 10k.Caash and his peers are “consciously making music that’s built for a platform,” he said. “They know what the sensibility is for that — it’s deliberate but almost intuitive.”

Viral hip-hop dance videos are what catapulted 10k.Caash from a teenage time-killer into a formidable member of hip-hop’s rookie class. Built like a stack of gumdrops, he dances in concise, herky-jerk movements, slithering and then stopping as if he suddenly had his plug pulled. A couple of years ago, he honed a dance that had been circulating around Dallas and added a hard locking motion. It became the Woah, one of the most widespread and easiest-to-emulate viral dances of recent years. (As with most viral phenomena, the exact origin point is contested.)

But even before that, 10k.Caash, who hails from the Oak Cliff neighborhood, had been a dancer in a city that had always found overlap between dance and hip-hop — the Dougie, the Ricky Bobby, the Stanky Legg. A few years ago, however, when he and his friends were making dance videos, “Nobody thought it was cool to be a dancer,” he said. “Everybody stopped, everybody felt like we should be hood.”

Still, he danced, and people began to take note. He was one of the dancers in the viral video that catapulted Ugly God’s “I Beat My Meat” to broad attention. And he and his friends steadily made Woah videos, dancing along to local rap hits. Through dancing, he met Lil Uzi Vert — now an idiosyncratic Garbo-like superstar, but then a more accessible aspirant. Uzi appeared in some Woah videos with 10k.Caash, and eventually suggested that 10k.Caash try rapping, making songs of his own rather than, in essence, using his popularity to promote other people’s music.

10k.Caash released his first song, “Dip Swag Dip,” in the summer of 2018. That November, he self-released “The Creator.” Soon after, he signed to Def Jam, the foundational hip-hop label, which rereleased “The Creator” last May. (“He’s an overall internet sensation who just happens to make music,” Duran said.)

Many of his early stage performances were at festivals, coming out for a song during other people’s sets. His ubiquity online also created opportunities to film dance videos with more established artists like Trippie Redd or Chance the Rapper who, Duran said, treated 10k.Caash like a kind of muse: “He was bull-horning his music through 10k.” A hallmark of those clips is their evident joy, as if 10k.Caash had allowed those performers to reach something childlike inside themselves.

“A lot of people hit me up when they’re going through things,” 10k.Caash said. “I naturally make people happy.”

Rico Nasty said his open-hearted disposition is a rarity: “He genuinely wants to build friendship. Most people in the industry just do that when they need you for something.”

For an artist from Dallas, a city with a long hip-hop history but not many breakthrough successes, 10k.Caash has had a rapid, unlikely ascent, bypassing the local rap hierarchy. But he still has a devoted following in the city’s underground scene, which was clear the night after the studio session, when he appeared at a hybrid rap/wrestling event at a dingy banquet space in an industrial strip mall on the city’s northwest side.

It was a loosely hinged scene, a gathering of the subcultures. A disco ball dangled over the squared circle as 10k.Caash rapped and danced his way through an abbreviated set. When he was done, he didn’t speed off, but stuck around, sitting on the top turnbuckle to watch his friends perform.

“I really don’t care for music at all,” he’d said earlier that day. “I kind of got drained from caring. In the beginning I actually cared, but once you actually see what actually goes on, it’s like OK, it’s no reason for me to actually care.”

His earliest engagement with music was through promoting parties and dancing with friends, but the music business is less communal than that. Artists have invited him to collaborate, and then removed him from songs, he said. He’s released snippets on Instagram, only to have the sound or words copied by others.

“A lot of people that make songs like me, they don’t even have the confidence to put me on the song,” he said. “I outrap them.” Though he’s recorded approximately 500 songs, and hopes to release a third project in April, “I might be done after that,” he said.

So he has backup plans. He’s a freshman at Texas A&M University-Commerce, majoring in accounting. He knows how to code in Python. He’s made friends in FaZe Clan, the powerhouse e-sports collective. “Sometimes his heart’s not in the music,” G.U.N. said. “He’s happiest when he’s playing a game.”

Which is maybe where 10k.Caash will end up, after moving on from the way station of the record business. Now, he’s a successful rapper, dancer and social media savant. Tomorrow — who can say? “I hope it all transfers,” he said, “and I just can play games all day.”

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