#also nothing reassures me that im autistic more than going to these damn meetings
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analyzing the narrative parallels in my real life as a coping mechanism
#aka my family meets on sundays BUT my dnd group ALSO meets on sundays#so i usually have an excuse to not go to the family gatherings#something something replacing the worst activity in my life with the one ive wanted to do for so long etc etc#we took a break from dnd this week so im at a family gathering rn and im not having a good time BUT#im also not on the precipice of killing everyone here like i used to be when it was every weekend#also nothing reassures me that im autistic more than going to these damn meetings#one day i will move out. one day i will not have to see these people anymore. one day the man who molested me will be dead. one day one day#one day i will not feel responsible for how shitty of a person my little brother turned out. one day i will not be the third parent#gritting my teeth i am going to make it through this year if it kills me#and i taste jasmine on my tongue etc etc#vent#also just bc i like to be a hater: he brings his dog over and she's fine idk. poorly trained but whatever#but the amount of secondhand embarrassment i get when he tries to command her and she doesn't listen bc he trained her poorly#love it when incels are ashamed in their own inadequacy#i mean i also do not have well trained dogs but they arent MY dogs and also i taught one of them to sit and also to wait#and she does them both very well. hmph !#tldr i am better than him in every avenue. eat shit#one day i will say all of this out loud to his face#also ive started blatantly ignoring him and i feel much better abt it. one day he will stop fucking trying#eat that fucking olive branch you asshole. eat shit and die mad abt it
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