#also really cool that this man was actually a pretty good basket maker

[hog-babe]

my partner's granddad (his mom's dad) used to weave baskets for personal use and my mom-in-law still uses some of them, including this one which was completely destroyed at the top. cannot describe how honoured i was to be asked if i could restore it. also cannot describe the feeling of working on this - being able to use everything i know to take care of this heirloom and make it functional again - using my hands today where his hands once were to create something that would be used for decades to come- time is a spiral etc

[xazz]

Moth Wings 2

Pairing: AltMal, Altair+Desmond  Rating: Explicit  Tags: vampires, romance, servant AU, music AU, Insect wings (but no bugs of any sort), fluff, angst, flangst  Status: WIP

And more vampire AU! Malik shows up... next chapter I wanna say? But if you want Malik rn you can subscribe to my patreon. There to can read the full like 17k of this AU I’ve written so far. See my blog page on how to get to my patreon. Patreon also only has two chapters... but they’re long. They’re so long. And next chapter is going to get saucyyyyyyyy

———

He only woke because his stomach hurt.

He groaned, pushing himself up. His stomach hurt and complained loudly. He was famished. He crawled out of bed and in the dark put on some clean clothes before leaving the closet. He checked behind the heavy drapes over the windows. It was nearly sunset. He’d slept all night and day. He wasn’t surprised.

His growling stomach made him leave the castle. There was no food for him here. They only kept livestock for drinking in the castle. The castle itself sat in the shadow of a mountain and at the bottom of the mountain was a town. They all knew vampires lived up there and it was better than any human lord they’d ever had. The coven didn’t hunt in the valley. All the town had to do was provide them with amusement at night. Festivals, fairies, music, plays, singing and dancing, and, of course, taxes. But Altair had heard about other towns, beyond the valley, that also had to pay taxes, and it was almost all people had. No. The masters might not have always been kind to Altair but it was far better than the alternative. They never actually threatened to eat him. They just scared him telling him about the humans in the cellar. And he wasn’t even sure that was true.

He was from the town at the bottom of the hill. It was called Castlesong. He’d been born there, lived there his entire life. Then a year and a half ago the Matron had come looking for a strong, abled, young man of sound mind and able to follow instructions. He’d been ‘volunteered’, against his will, by his neighbors. He knew it was because he was ‘too pretty’ they always said. Too distracting to their wives, daughters, and even sons.

He hadn’t even done anything. He’d been the son of the town’s violin maker for goodness sake!

It wasn’t so late the pub was closed yet. He went in and sat alone. The maid came and he ordered something to eat for now and a few pies to eat cold later, and a big mug of ale. He waited, picked at stuff under his nails he’d missed from last night, and was happy when the food was brought. He stuffed himself and washed it all down with the light ale until he was tired again. It was still light out. And he had to wait for his pies. He ended up dozing in the booth. The maid woke him, made him pay, and then rather nicely kicked him out with a basket of pies for his trouble.

Yes. Of course they didn’t want the coven’s ‘pet human’ around longer than necessary.

He trudged back up the mountain to the castle. He could hear the coven inside, laughing and talking loudly. He slipped past the dining hall as he went down to the kitchen. The coven was enjoying breakfast of cups of blood. It looked like they were drinking wine.

Altair put his pies into a cool box in the kitchen for when he got hungry later. Then he went back upstairs. Meals were always short for the coven. They all had a cup of blood and then went about their business. The master was always last to leave. He waited until the others except the master and mistress were gone before presenting himself, looking down at the floor. “Master.”

“Ah, Altair. Good good, you’re here. Perfect timing.”

“Is this really so, William dear?” the Matron asked.

“My love, when was the last time you raised a child?”

“And instead a human shall?”

“For a little while. Our other children turned out fine, dove,” Altair heard the master pat the mistress’ hand gently. “But the first years are so tedious. And it’s better this way. You know that. Gets them acclimated to being around humans and they’re less likely to break away.” The mistress made a noise of complaint but said nothing. “Altair, at last the task you were brought here for is upon you.”

“Yes, master,” he said.

“Our new son, Desmond, will need constant care. Day and night. That is now your responsibility. The only task you will not have is his feedings. As our son he will have real blood.”

“And I’m not allowed in the cellar,” Altair said.

“Absolutely not,” the master agreed. “But he should need feeding only one or two more times more than us. If such a time comes I’ve already spoken to the coven they are to assist you without complaint in ensuring my son is fed. If they do not comply you are to come to me immediately and inform me. Understand?”

“Yes, master.”

The child was then thrust at him. “If you mess up, Altair. You will be the first live meal I’ve had in decades,” the mistress hissed.

He swallowed. “I don’t wish to disappoint, mistress,” he said, holding the child to him. “And… Desmond, you said his name was?”

“Yes. Desmond,” the master said.

“I will keep him close, master, mistress,” he bowed.

“See that you do,” the Matron sneered.

“Come, Desmond, let’s go find your room,” he said and left the dining room.

It was easy to find the babe’s room. He had been told of it several times while he was a chrysalis. It was a cheerful room, painted pink and yellow and full of soft things, both fluffy and perfect for biting. They’d all been gifts from the towns in the valley for the lord and lady’s new child. More toys than a little boy could ever want or play with in a lifetime. Though perhaps vampire children lasted longer as children than human children. The chrysalis had been there a fair amount of time before Altair had been brought to the castle.

He put the babe on the floor and got out some toys for him to play with. Brightly colored blocks painted on the side with letters and scenes of the valley. “Blocks, Desmond. See,” and he started stacking them. Desmond watched him but didn’t understand at first. Altair sighed and leaned back on his arm and just kept boredly stacking the blocks into pyramids and towers and knocking them over. Desmond couldn’t stand or walk but he could sit up on his own. And he just sat there watching Altair with wide black eyes, amazed at what he was doing. After a few builds Desmond leaned forward and knocked over the tower Altair had made. “See, you can do it too,” Altair said. He offered Desmond a block. He took it but just dropped it. Altair sighed. Right. That was too much to hope for. He was hatched yesterday. His wings were still against his back, limp and useless along his spine.

Altair spent the rest of the early evening playing with blocks with Desmond and talking to him softly. Around midnight he took Desmond to go for his midnight feed with the rest of the coven. He gave him over to the mistress and retreated down into the kitchen to have his pies. Up in the dining room he heard the vampires cooing and awwing over the baby, laughing and talking loudly about how cute and funny he was.

Altair just ate his pies and thought about what he was going to do. Who knew how long he’d be here taking care of Desmond. He needed to have a plan. At least so he didn’t go crazy. He was expected to care for this child and… teach it? Maybe? He wasn’t quite sure. At the very least probably teach him to talk and walk and run and play.

He put his pie down half eaten and put it back in the cool box. He slunk out of the kitchen and unseen past the dining room where the coven was making a big uproar about something their newest member was doing. He went to his closet of a room and grabbed his sketchbook and pencils and left them in Desmond’s room. He returned to stand outside the dining room until the coven had all otherwise left. The Matron walked out and he looked down. He just wordlessly held out his hands. Desmond was placed into them and she walked away.

“Your mother is a nice lady,” Altair told Desmond sarcastically. Desmond just stared at him. He took Desmond back to his room and they played with the blocks some more before Desmond laid down on the floor to sleep. Altair quickly transferred him to his bed. If one of the others saw him letting the child sleep on the floor he didn’t want to think of what would happen.

Once the boy was asleep Altair pulled out the sketchbook but didn’t draw. Rather he started writing. All the ideas he could think of that wouldn’t make him go insane in the years to come. Things that a little boy of a lord should know. “What am I going to do?” he asked himself, rubbing his forehead. He’d come up with ideas but. He was just the son of a craftsman! What did he know about raising a lord’s son?!

Well at the very least he could teach Desmond to be kind. That’d be a start. Kinder than the rest of the coven. Maybe even give a shit about humans. At least a little. That, if nothing else, seemed like a good place to start. He could manage that.

[euphoriclove777]

My Girl

Hello cuties!!! So you asked for more Fezco and I'm gonna give it to you. This one is actually a dream I had and its inspired by the song My Girl by The Temptations. I really hope you like it! And as per usual my love, give me some feedback in the comments and leave some requests! I really hope you like this one :) ALSO: If you'd li km e to get tagged in these, comment or leave an ask to let me know so you can stay updated whenever I post :D

Warnings: mention of guns, a bit of cussing, some blood/injuries, and PURE FLUFF

°☆•¤●□°♡•◇▪♧¤♤°☆° ▪♡°•♧▪○▪°

I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day

You covered Fezs eyes as you led him to the kitchen.

"Almost there baby just a few more steps!" you said giggling softly.

"It'd better not be a huge mess babe...with that glitter and shit you put on your eyes? I found that on me when I was making a deal, not cool." He said laughing as he spoke, holding his hands out in front of him clueless as to where he was going.

"Oh hush Fez!" You said with a bit of embarrassment in your voice. "Okay you can sit down."

He sat down hesitantly, putting his hands over yours, rubbing them softly. You giggled at the small affection, something he did often when he was anxious.

"Okay I'm removing it on three.....one...two...three!" You removed your hands revealing to him a beautifully decorated kitchen. Red and orange tassles hung from the walls, balloons almost everywhere. You had one a red party hat with the words Happy Birthday written in white cursive on it, much like everyone else. Rue, Jules, Lexi, Cassie, McKay, and Ashtray sat around the dinner table sporting the same look, except Ashtray had a red noise maker in his mouth which he blew once you removed your hands.

"Happy Birthday Bro! I hope y'all bitches can sing. One, Two, Three! Happy Birthday To You...." he said as they all sang happy birthday to Fezco who was in awe of the entire situation. He looked almost as if he was going to cry. No one had ever remembered his birthday before, let alone threw a party. He grabbed your hand and held it in his giving it a squeeze.

You touched his back and rubbed it softly. "Make a wish baby"

Fez looked at you with so much love in his eyes and smiled, blowing out the candles.

When it's cold outside I've got the month of May

You sat next to Fez with your legs on his lap.

"Listen man, I don't want that shit in this neighborhood. I got nieces and nephews that live out here. I don't want them getting fucked up." He said with a calm yet distressed voice.

His hand was on your thigh, holding onto it as a form of security. Fez had on a 90s type grandpa sweater with jeans.

You smiled at him softly and looked at Mouse, waiting for his response.

"Look man, this is business. So unless you got a way to pay, you're gonna fucking sell it. Got that?" Mouse said with a smirk on his face looking at you. "Mmm what about this pretty baby. She's good enough payment."

Mouse stood up and walked over to you, touching your face.

Fez stood up abruptly and pulled a gun from its hiding place.

"Yo get the fuck off of my girl man. Don't fucking touch her." He said sternly with anger in his eyes.

Mouse put up both of his hands. "Chill out, chill out."

"Nah man! Cause I don't think you fucking get it! Stay the fuck away from My Girl and this fucking neighborhood! I don't want these fucking drugs in here man! We good?!" Fez shouted angrily, still with the gun against Mouse's head. You jumped slightly, startled at how angry he'd become.

Mouse nodded his head yes and backed up slowly, leaving the regular amount of stock on the coffee table. "She must be real special cuz all these years I ain't ever seen you this worked up before." Mouse said slowly. He looked at you and smiled "I got a girl at home who does the same thing to me that you do to him. Make sure he takes real good care of you or Mousey will get him."

You nodded slowly and looked at Fezco, still holding up the gun. When Mouse and his crew filed out the house you stood up slowly and hugged Fez from behind. "Baby... they're gone....you can relax...."

He slowly put down the gun and set it on the coffee table. He pulled you in and kissed you hard with passion.

The kiss startled you initially but you wrapped your arms around your neck kissing him back

Well I guess you'd say, What can make me feel this way?

"My Girl" Fez said softly against your lips. "What?" You said with a giggle. You looked into his eyes.

He picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. "Talkin' bout my girl" he said looking at you again and smiled, peppering you with kisses and taking you into the bedroom. Your laugh echoed throughout the house.

I've got so much honey the bees envy me. I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees

You walked into the gas station with a white sundress on and a basket in your hand, smiling. You knocked on Ashes freezer and he opened it quickly.

A smile spread on his face. "Does my nose deceive me or do I smell those bombass brownies?" He said excitedly. "Yep! Make sure you share with Fez." You said laughing with him. "Where is he anyways?"

"He should be out back" Ash said in between chews. You nodded and smiled, walking to the back if the gas station. You held a brownie on a napkin in your hand and approached Fez wearing a wife beater and jeans, covered in oil and grime from the car he was fixing up.

"Special Delivery for the best man in the world!" You said beaming at him. Fez looked at you with admiration and wiped off his hands on a towel. He walked to where you were standing and held you by the waist.

"Is it one of those kisses I crave?" He said smirking. "Mmm I think it's something you've been missing...." you said, handing him the napkin with the brownie. Fez's eyes widened and instantly he turned into a little kid. He had a smile from ear to ear, biting into the brownie with crumbs on his face.

"Y/N baby you're an angel!! You've blessed me with these delicious brownies!" He said excitedly. You laughed and kissed some of the icing and crumbs off of his face.

He picked you up and wiped his face all over yours. Youboth stood there being a laughing mess with brownie all over you.

Well I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way? My Girl, Talkin' bout My Girl

"Fez! I'm home!" You said, putting the keys in the blue key dish that remained on the kitchen counter. You put down your purse and put groceries on the table. You grabbed a fresh dish towel to wipe down the counter but quickly stopped as you heard a groan of pain sound from the hallway.

Your ears perked up and anxiety immediately rushed into your heart as you held onto the dish towel tightly. "Fez....?"

You walked slowly into the hallway to see him laying there, his eye swollen and lip busted. You ran to him and sat by his side. "Fez?! What happened?" You said as you elevated him up into your lap.

He groaned again, frustrated that he couldn't speak properly. "He...he came looking for you. But I...I stopped him...I tried".

Tears filled your eyes as you pulled up his shirt slowly to reveal bruises all over Fez's stomach.

"Who baby?" You said sniffing and dabbing at his mouth lightly, cleaning up the blood.

"Nate....he wanted to get back at me....but he won't be back ever...ever again...nobody touches my girl..."

A tear spilled out of your eye and onto Fezs cheek. He slowly reached up to you and wiped your face.

"Don't cry, imma be okay....we're gonna be okay..." he said smiling softly, holding onto you. "As long as I've got you...."

You awoke and felt the bed next to you. "Mmmmm...Fezzzzz" you said with a yawn, you opened your eyes and wiped them and sat up.

"I don't need no money, fortune or fame...." Fez said on his knees holding your hand and kissing it.

You looked down at him on the ground. "Fez baby what're you doing?" You said, adjusting your eyes to look at him.

"In this light you look like an angel...a queen....after what happened last week with the whole Nate situation I realized something.." he said with a bit of nervousness in his voice.

"What'd you realize?" You said, putting your hand on his cheek, lightly running your thumb over the faded yellow green bruise on his cheek.

"I've got all the riches baby, one man can claim" he said.

I guess you'd say

You laughed softly "What can make you feel this way?"

"My girl" he said smiling "talkin' bout my girl....will you marry me Y/N?" He got on one knee and reached into his pocket, pulling out a red velvet box and opening it slowly.

Tears welled up in your eyes and you nodded lost for words.

"Yes?" He said.

"YES!!!"

[justlookfrightened]

Second Zimbits bingo post #2

See the first post

Urban fantasy

Bitty woke to weak sunlight illuminating a bare room.

The corners were dusty, but the sheets on the bed were clean enough, if a little scratchy. The T-shirt Jack had given him to sleep in was plenty soft, and so big it  covered Bitty down to the thighs.

He crawled out of bed and to the radiator, where he’d draped his wet clothes the night before. He prodded at them with a finger. His underwear was dry, thank the Lord, and his jeans were only a little damp around the waistband. His own T-shirt, rinsed in the bathroom sink with his underwear and socks, had also dried. 

His shoes, though … maybe he could get away with stocking feet until he actually had to leave the house. Haus? Jack had pronounced it kind of funny when he welcomed Bitty inside the night before and showed him the living room with its truly disgusting couch. If the living room was his only choice, Bitty had decided, he would sleep on the floor. It was still miles better than trying to find shelter outside.

But then Jack had gone upstairs for a few minutes. When he came back down, he said, “Looks like Johnson’s away again. You can have his bed for the night.”

Jack had shown him the bathroom, which was also gross, but had hot water, and given him a clean shirt that fit Bitty like it was meant to be nightclothes anyway.

Bitty had reveled in the feeling of the shower raining down on his shoulders and back, and he uttered a silent apology to whoever owned the soap and shampoo he used. Once he was clean, he washed his smalls as best he could. He was just wringing them out when Jack knocked on the door and called, “I don’t know if you have a toothbrush, but there should be a new one in the drawer on the left if you want it.”

“Thanks, Jack,” Bitty called back, and lost no time in cleaning his teeth,

“No problem,” Jack said. “I have to be up early, so I’m going to bed. Good night,”

“Good night,” Bitty replied through a mouthful of toothpaste.

Jack really had turned out to be a godsend after a less than auspicious beginning. Bitty had felt the tears coming when he turned to leave Jack’s shop after hearing it was already closed; he didn’t know how far he he had walked in the snow already, and he just wanted a chance to get warm, even if the cost of coffee or tea would have put a dent in the meager funds in his wallet. 

Maybe his magic had somehow summoned Jack when he needed him? Or if not summoned him, given him a change of heart?

No, probably not. Bitty’s magic didn’t usually work without him making an effort, and he had never tried to work it on people. That seemed wrong, somehow. Besides, if he could have used magic to change hearts, he would have used it on Mama and Coach and stayed in his old, comfortable life.

At any rate, it was way past early, judging by the winter sun, but Jack hadn’t woken him to send him on his way. He wasn’t even sure which room was Jack’s, and he didn’t want to wake up a stranger by mistake, so he couldn’t look for him..

Once dressed, Bitty folded Jack’s T-shirt over his arm, picked up his shoes and padded down the stairs. He wasn’t exactly sure how many people lived here, or what their relationship was to one another, but Jack didn’t seem to think they’d mind Bitty crashing for the night. He could at least do some muffins to thank them, assuming there was a working kitchen.

The living room with the disgusting couch was empty of people, and so was the kitchen just beyond it. Well, kitchen, if he used the term loosely. There was a refrigerator, and a stove, and a sink and cabinets. Maybe the appliance that got the most use was the microwave, judging by the food spattered on the inside of the door.

The floor didn’t look like it had been mopped this year, the refrigerator was full of beer and convenience foods and the cabinets held boxes of protein bars and at least a case of sriracha.

How had Jack made such good coffee yesterday? If this was his kitchen, it was really no wonder that he thought it acceptable to microwave a stale scone. The wonder was that the scone was edible at all. 

No matter. Bitty could make his muffins and get this kitchen set to rights. It was really the least he could do for the people who took him in last night, even if most of them didn’t know it yet.

Bitty wrinkled his nose as he stuffed his feet into his damp shoes and made his way to the counter. He pulled his old recipe book from the pocket of his hoodie and turned the pages, looking for what to make when ingredients were scarce. Soon, he had a batter mixed with eggs, flour, oil and milk that all came to hand at just the right time. So did blueberries. They were frozen, but Bitty supposed he couldn’t be too picky when it was February.

The oven was ancient, and it took ages to heat, but it did get hot. While Bitty was waiting, he made a start on the cleaning. Once the muffins were baking, he looked at the ingredients he had left and made a start on a pie. Muffins were good, but it really would take a pie to show the depth of his gratitude. Besides, he couldn’t even think of leaving until it was done and the kitchen was set to rights. It didn’t hurt that he found apples for the filling as soon as the dough for the crust was chilling.

The muffins were out and the pie in the oven when he was interrupted by two men, both at least Jack’s size, maybe bigger, standing in the doorway.

“What the fuck is that smell?” one said. “It smells like my aunt’s house, but with more love and innocence.”

“Bro, no offense, but I’ve been to your aunt’s house,” the larger one said. “Compared to this, her house smells like a shithole.”

Bitty stood stock still. He was pretty sure they meant the food smelled good (because really, it did), but the way they expressed themselves …

He was still standing and staring when the first man who spoke noticed him.

“Uh, who are you, little dude?”

“And what are you doing in our kitchen?” the bigger guy said. “Are you like some kind of an elf out of a fairy tale?”

An elf? This man was mistaking a full-grown man for an elf? Sure, he was a kitchen witch, but you couldn’t tell by looking.

“I’m not an elf,” he said. “Jack let me stay here last night, and I figured I’d make y’all some food to thank you for your hospitality.”

“Jack’s gone already, bro,” the not-quite-as-large one said. “Sorry if you were expecting to see him this morning.”

“Imagine that,” the other one said. “Jack bringing a guy home, and then sneaking out of his own room while the guy’s sleeping. Sorry for his lack of manners, uh —”

Bitty knew his face was burning at what the man was implying. He would never, not just after meeting someone at least. Not that he hadn’t thought about it a little before falling asleep, wearing Jack’s T-shirt. Jack was … very attractive, and kind, even if his manners left something to be desired. Bitty had laughed at himself then, for thinking his life could be like one of Mama’s romance novels, with a hero with a chiseled jaw and six-pack abs coming to his rescue. 

“Eric,” Bitty finally managed to sputter. “Eric Bittle. And if you were implying what I thought you were, it wasn’t like that. I took shelter from the storm in Jack’s coffee shop last night, and he let me stay in — I think he said it was someone named Johnson’s room?”

“Johnson,” the blond snorted. “Dude’s never here. Anyway, I’m Adam. You can call me Holster. This is Justin, but he goes by Ransom.”

“Okay,” Bitty said. “Y’all can call me Bitty, if you want. Sit, and have some muffins. The coffee’s probably not as good as Jack’s —” Bitty glared at the crusty old coffee maker “— but it should do.”

Ransom and Holster sat and ate. They ate so much that Bitty had to keep a close eye on the basket, especially after another man, this one in nothing but a mustache and Wonder Woman briefs, wandered in.

“Hell — holy shit, what is this?” he said, seeing the basket of muffins that the first two hadn’t quite been able to finish off. Probably because Bitty had multiplied them when no one was looking.

“Breakfast,” Ransom said, taking another bite. “Thanks to our new best friend, Eric Bittle.”

“He’s ours, Shitty,” Holster said. “You can’t have him.”

“That’s not how friendship works,” the new guy — Shitty? — said before Bitty could protest. “Where’d you find him?”

“In the kitchen,” Holster said.

“Actually, Jack found him,” Ransom said. “Brought him home and put him in Johnson’s room last night.”

Bitty took the pie from the oven and set it on the cooling rack before clearing his throat and saying, “‘Him’ is standing right here.”

“Sorry,” the new guy saud. “Shitty Knight at your service.”

“Shitty?”

“Long story,” Shitty said. “How do you know Jackabelle?”

“I don’t,” Bitty said. “I just stopped into the coffee shop, and he realized I was stranded and took pity on me.”

“That — kind of sounds like something Jack would do,” Shitty said.

“Anyway, I made the muffins and the pie to thank him, and all of you, for your hospitality,” Bitty said. “My name is Eric, but call me Bitty.”

“I guess I can see how you got that nickname,” Shitty said, standing up to pour his own coffee.

“I’m not that small,” Bitty protested. “It’s a hockey nickname, ‘cause my last name’s Bittle.”

“Right,” Shitty said.

“Wait, dude, you play hockey?” Holster said. “We played in college.That’s how we all met.”

“Used to play,” Bitty said. Because that was in high school, back in Georgia. 

“What do you do now? Besides turning out wicked muffins?” Shitty said. “Where did you even find blueberries? Did you go to the store?”

“Did you remember the part where he was stranded?” Ransom said. “How would he get to the store?”

“That’s right,” Shitty said, and helped himself to another muffin. “Holy fuck, these are good. So what’s your plan?”

“Um, maybe someone could direct me to the train station?” Bitty said. “I walked from there last night, to Jack’s coffee shop, but he drove me here, and I don’t quite know how to get back.”

“Dude, you’re not gonna walk there,” Holster said, eyeing Bitty’s sneakers. “It’s too far. And the snow’s like a foot deep. Streets are mostly plowed, but it’s messy.’’

“Maybe you could tell me how to get to the coffee shop then?” Bitty asked. “I did want to leave that pie for Jack and if I leave it here …”

“Yeah, no,” Holster said. “It’ll definitely disappear. How’d you make it so fast anyway? I thought pies were, like, hard.”

“Not really,” Bitty said. “And sometimes when I’m in a kitchen, pies just appear.”

“Cool superpower, brah,” Shitty said. “But you don’t want to carry that pie all the way to the shop. I can drive you in a little bit. I was headed that way anyway.”

Ransom and Holster left, off to do whatever kind of work it was they did (consulting, they said, but what did that mean?). Shitty disappeared upstairs, presumably to put some clothes on, and Bitty cleaned up the kitchen. And made two batches of cookies: chocolate chip and ginger snaps.

He made sure to hide the cookies and the leftover muffins under clean dish towels on the counter, in hopes they would be discovered later, when he was gone. Shitty had already been looking at him like there was something strange going on, and he had no wish to explain his magic.

Well, really, he had no ability to explain it, either. It started when he was small. When he was just a tyke he could produce pies and cookies and cakes better than bakers ten times his age. Back when he was five, he didn’t question that there were always chocolate chips in the cupboard when he needed them, always eggs and butter in the fridge, and the flour canister was never empty.

It had been going on for a matter of months when MooMaw noticed there was something more than unusual baking talent there. She pulled him aside and said she was the very same way, and he must never tell anyone. Not even his parents. Apparently, the magic skipped a generation.

Over the years, she told him what she had learned. She was always able to bake good food, but some of the magic only seemed to kick in if she was baking for other people.

“If I wanted to make a cupcake, just for me, and I needed some almond extract, do you think I’d find it in my cabinet?” she said. “Never. But if I was baking a whole batch of cupcakes for your class at school, it would be there, sure as there’s a nose on my face.”

“But MooMaw,” he’d asked. “Why would you ever bake just one cupcake?”

Over the years, he’d found that he couldn’t always get exactly what he wanted. There were no in-season strawberries in December, no matter how much he needed them. Some recipes seemed to work better than others when he needed to put his magic to use, and they were usually the ones he copied by hand from MooMaw’s book. But his cakes and pies and cookies seemed to bake faster than most people’s no matter what recipe he used, and once baked, they wouldn’t run out during a meal or a party, not as long as he kept watch and willed the serving basket or plate to stay full.

No matter how harmless his magic seemed, he knew MooMaw was right. People didn’t like somebody who was different, and he was already different enough. Mama and Coach hadn’t kicked him out, precisely, when he explained that the kids who tormented him for being gay weren’t exactly wrong, but his relationship with them had grown strained overnight.

Best to find somewhere where he could be himself, by himself, and bake for people who didn’t know who he was or question why it tasted so good. It was already far too late for that here. He would take Jack his pie and be on his way.

Read the next part

[bskarsgard]

Gifts for: @letitbrie  @clrholt  @deltslea  @butlergerry  @kellixo  @keshababyy  @elisabetholsan  @margcterobbie

Brie, my (friendly) gaming competition,

No surprise at all our first memories involve playing video games, and no doubt we always put our all into trying to best each other. Though honestly, I love that you're always a good sport about it, from the trash talking to acting like we're actually going to take each other out. But it's always a good time hanging out with you no matter what we're doing, and competition aside, you're amazing, Brie. You're definitely one of the folks I've always admired not only for everything you've accomplished, but for the fact that you're always optimistic and sunny and an absolute ball to be around. I'm really glad we became better friends this year, and I'm so looking forward to the next and everything it'll bring, including some new Mario Kart showdowns. It'd be a crime if your gifts from me didn't involve games in some way, wouldn't it? I got you a night light that I think you'll recognise immediately, and a pair of socks that tell people you're busy gaming without you having to say a word. Additionally, since you told me you're such a fan of nacho cheese Doritos, enjoy this highly fancy and delicious bouquet of them. I hope you and the family have an amazing Christmas!

- Bill

Dear Claire,

Man oh man, we've been through some times, haven't we? I was thinking about it when I started to write this, and I guess it's a bit wild to me to do a side by side of last year this time compared to now. Or perhaps you don't want to because I'll admit I was sort of a pain, minus the sort of. I'm just glad to be where we are right now, that you're one of my best friends and main casserole partner in crime. This year has been so up and down and in a lot of ways, and it just makes me even more grateful for the people in my life who support and encourage me, and you're certainly one of them. I didn't have the words to say it at the time, but whenever I think about us at Paco's that afternoon when I felt like everything in my life was falling apart, myself included, I think of how you told me you like the person I am, no matter what. You have such a knack for saying the things I need to hear right in the moment, and those words definitely helped me pull through a really rough time. And of course, you've been here for me to help pick out decor for my new house, to chat with me about nonsense whenever I needed a distraction, or to cook a meal that isn't half bad when we're both in the kitchen tending to it. I've seen the ways this has been sort of a landmark year for you as well, and it just makes me so happy to see you content and enjoying yourself and life on the whole. For Christmas and the new year, I hope you get a whole lot more of that, and that I'll be lucky to witness it for being a part of your life. You're amazing, in case I haven't summed that up. I remembered that you like chocolate and wine whenever you're relaxing, so naturally I had to get you a gift basket with the two of them. And also a casserole in a jar, which I knew you'd get a kick out of! Finally, I know I said I'd get you a fire extinguisher, but this is one with a twist: an old style one turned into a lamp! I hope you can find some use for it, but if not, at least it's a pretty funny gadget to have. I love you and hope you have a great Christmas, Claire.

Love, Bill

Dear Delta,

Is it strange that when I think of you, I think of your cats too? They'd probably be delighted by this and count it as another measure of their taking over the world, but you don't laugh too much when I chase them around your place trying to pet them. Aside from that, though, you'll always be one of the first people who made me feel welcome when I moved here. A year later, you're still one of my favourite people and an amazing friend, someone who's company I'm always excited about no matter what we're doing. I never told you how much it meant to me that you were there earlier this year when I was feeling so all over the place, but one of the things that easily put my mind at ease, at least for a while, was being on the high cliffs with you, overlooking the ocean and sipping hot chocolate. It was just the sort of peace I needed, not to mention the great company. Thank you for that and always being the wonderful person you are. I hope you have so much good coming your way in the new year, and I can say I'd be happy to drag you on plenty more adventures, too. I wanted to get you a few gifts that reflect the things you like, so I couldn't pass on this cat sign. Tell me, where is the lie? Also, since I know music is such a huge part of your life, and as it should be with your talent, I got you some music note cookie cutters and a cool clock that I thought you might like. Have an amazing Christmas, Delta! Here's to celebrating and ending the year in style.

Love, Bill

Gerard, my second father,

Can I just say my dad would be proud of the job you're doing looking after me? I'm just saying, I know sometimes it's a task when it comes to a Skarsgard kid, but you do it impeccably. All joking aside, you're an amazing guy and friend, Gerard. The kind of person who's always there for the folks he cares about, but doesn't hesitate to straight shoot with them if there's some brutal honesty they really need to hear. And god knows I've needed that at times. I know this year's been a rough one for you with everything that happened in Cali with the wildfires and homes there, yours included. I have to say though, I so admired the way you stepped up and helped out, even in the midst of having your own home so damaged. You're the kind of folks we all look to in disasters, the ones that give us a bit of hope when everything else seems so dim. Thank you for that and for providing that in my life. Like I said, Dad would be pretty proud. Since you're celebrating at home this year, I thought I'd get you some snacks and goods from there in this basket. Though you can tell me if it's terrible and I got ripped off, but I'm hoping not. And since we will forever love our coffee and cigarettes and never give them up, I feel like I have to encourage your habit as well as you encourage mine with a new coffeemaker and this lovely case. I hope you and your family have the best Christmas yet, and hope next year provides you with all the good you can handle.

- Bill

Kelli, my sis from another miss,

I still can't believe you're getting married?! Like when did you start growing up and how? Do I sound like a typical big brother yet? Just be glad I'm not stalking Luke and putting him through various tests just to make sure he's good enough, because well, I trust your judgment and if you say it, he must be. As long as he gets you that boat for the wedding present, that is. All that aside, I'm so thrilled for you and that you've found such happiness this year. You know you mean the world to me, and I'm glad we met and are glad we're the friends we are. You've always been there for me, to help me through rocky times or celebrate good times and everything in between. Thank you for always being someone I can count on and who’s happiness and sunlight personified, because that's pretty much how I always think of you, like the sun. I love you and I hope the year to come brings you so many more good things, because you deserve every bit. I hope you like these Christmas presents as well! I had to throw in something that's a nod to the wedding for being so excited for you, and of course our #1 food, cheese. Also, hanging this sign up in your place will be a good reminder to Luke to get you those goats, am I right? Let's hope it works. Merry Christmas, and I hope your holiday is amazing.

Love, Bill

Kesha, the newest family member,

I think the fact that you've described your own family as so wild just means you'll fit into mine perfectly. After all, your DNA did show that you have Swedish genes, yes? At least that's the story we'll tell people at the family reunions. Naturally, I would not invite just anyone to join the family, and that means you're aces, Kesha. All the joking aside, I think anyone in the music industry knows you're one of the strongest voices out there, and it takes a whole, whole lot of will and strength to do even half the things you've done with just music alone. You're inspiring and someone so many people look up to, especially your little girl. I know I don't exactly say things like that when we're just shooting the shit about whiskey or strip clubs or any other topics I'm amused we get to talking about, but it's Christmas, and Christmas is the perfect time to tell you how amazing you are. I hope the holiday is absolutely brilliant for you, and that the upcoming year is your best yet. And you know, that you'll constantly watch your back for any of us because that's just the way we do in this family, take each other down when they're least expecting. For your gifts, you know I had to get you something whiskey related, because the whiskey angel needs things to supplement her supply, and this homemade whiskey maker will do the trick. Also, a key chain with a good reminder, and a glass with another so you don't forget about the family reunion. Have a wonderful one, sis!

Your bro, Bill

Lizzie, my cooking show partner,

Can I just say I'm really glad we became better friends this year? I am, not only because you're awesome to go to the farmer's market with, but mainly because we're getting our cooking and trivia show off the ground! I'm kidding, of course that's not the only reason, but it's a pretty good one given that we come up with some quite creative ideas. Seriously, I always enjoy your company, whether we're just talking or making bread, or laughing about Nailed It! or how silly interviewers can be, you're a really cool person to have around, Lizzie. Plus someone who genuinely enjoys the art of acting and the process of making films and shows as much as I do and trading off slightly nerdy trivia is my kind of person. I know the two of us could happily watch a really long director's cut of one of our favourite films and be completely content in it, along with even stopping the tape to discuss each point in full detail. These are things that would drive an average person crazy, I know, but with us, it's obviously just more practise and wisdom for our show. Naturally, your gifts are going to involve some things you can use in the kitchen, like this pasta basket you can use to make an amazing Italian dish. Also, this bunch of spices, good for both storing in the kitchen or taking on the promo trail as you see fit. I also know you're a huge Star Wars fan and don't know if you already have this cutting board, but it was too funny and kitchen-y to resist. You either have it now or have two, but even if, is there anything as too many cutting boards? They always come in handy. I hope you and little JD have an amazing holiday, Lizzie! And here's to all our film and cooking adventures in the next year.

-Bill

Margot, the Harley to my Penny and everything in between,

Oh man, where do I even start with you?! Perhaps at International Bargot Day, since it's a top future accomplishment? Our future careers as politicians? The fact that we're making a box decorating holiday happen in the first place? Or the fact that we terrorise people at Halloween with our costumes? More importantly, would people be more afraid of those costumes or us recording videos from inside a box? A certain wig featuring Instagram and playing pranks on our siblings (okay, or mostly mine)? All this to say, it's wild what the two of us can come up with in the span of a year, and just imagine those accomplishments over more years or decades. Which well, by that time, I'm banking on us taking over the world. Needless to say, Margot, life's so much more fun with you around, mostly because it's inevitable we'll put our heads together and effortlessly come up with the most random things anyone's ever heard of. I mean, it's to the point where our brains conspire without even having our permission, so you can just imagine how deep these ideas run. All that to say I'm grateful for you and your friendship and filling life with a whole lot of laughter. Not to mention you're always there for me, even when I'm acting dumb and you might have to talk some sense into me. More often than not though, it's more like we're talking each other into dumb ideas like dancing on stage drunk and falling over, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm glad you're spending Christmas with us again this year, proof that last year didn't scare you off and that you're one of the family. So Merry Christmas, Margot! I hope you like your presents, all to do with some of your favourite things: your dog, alcohol, and Harley, so I hope that you like them. And here is to yet another year of wrecking havoc together.

Love, Bill

[kittyboo8015]

Eruri Drabble

For my favorite Dad, @ackbang

I know you didn’t ask for this but I’ve always wanted to write something for you and I felt inspired by your response to an ask about Levi being a chef and Erwin trying to help out and messing up. This is my take on that. I hope you like it and I love you ❤️

Erwin furrowed his brows in concentration as he slowly fed the dough through the pasta maker. He watched in anticipation as the noodles arrived safely and unbroken draped over his awaiting hand. A satisfied smile crossed his face as he carefully lowered the pasta into the boiling water on the stove.

A nervous excitement buzzed in his veins as he stirred the freshly made tomato sauce he had prepared earlier, bubbling at a perfect simmer. Erwin chuckled to himself as he thought back to a point in time when he had never eaten foods that didn’t come from a jar or box with the words ‘easy’ or ‘fast’ on the label.

_______________

When he and Levi had first started dating, Erwin had never used any kitchen appliances outside of the fridge and microwave. He had been perfectly content with just popping something in, hitting some buttons and being able to scarf it down in minutes.

That had all changed after a disastrous first attempt at surprising Levi with a homemade dinner. Erwin had felt a bit nervous about cooking a meal for his boyfriend, whom just happened to be a professional chef at a busy restaurant downtown. It had been a match made in heaven as far as Erwin was concerned.

Levi liked to cook and Erwin liked to eat. Not only that but Erwin’s eyes had been opened to the world beyond the realm of TV dinners and instant ramen. Levi made such amazing meals for the both of them even when he was tired from a full day’s work. Erwin appreciated that so much that he had decided that he would give Levi a break and return the favor.

Even though Erwin had no cooking experience other than microwaving from his college days and the instructions he had glanced at on wikihow, he figured it couldn’t be that hard. He had chosen to make spaghetti with tomato sauce since the recipe seemed to be straightforward and was even accompanied by pictures. It also involved very few appliances which was good because Levi’s fancy kitchen was pretty much like the small man’s work persona: pristine and intimidating.

Erwin gathered the tomatoes, onions and garlic that the recipe had called for and placed them on the counter. The next step was to boil the tomatoes and sauté the onion and garlic in some olive oil. After taking another glance at the directions on his phone, he noticed that the estimated cooking time was at least 2 hours from start to finish. Erwin now regretted procrastinating for most of the afternoon. After studying the steps again, he figured he could combine a few and still be done before Levi arrived home from work.

Erwin hacked up some onions and garlic and crammed them into the blender along with some tomatoes.He then set a pot with water on the stove and plopped the noodles in. He put the lid on the blender and flipped the switch. The machine made a small screeching sound and then quieted down to a hum. All seemed well so he decided to text Mike about a meme Hange had sent him earlier that he thought was hilarious.

Moments later all hell had broken loose when the lid from the blender shot off towards the ceiling, the contents inside erupting like a geyser covering the once gleaming stainless steel appliances in a torrent of puréed vegetables. Erwin gaped at the scene before him in amazement that turned into sheer panic. Just when he thought that things couldn’t get any worse, he then heard footsteps approaching before they stopped abruptly and a confused “What..the..Fuck?” sounded from the kitchen entrance.

Erwin sighed and turned to face his boyfriend. Levi’s expression appeared to be somewhere between disbelief and disgust. “I tried to surprise you with dinner and I messed up, I’m sorry Levi.” Erwin replied softly and awaited the wrath that was sure to follow.

Levi remained silent and moved forward into the kitchen. Erwin watched anxiously as Levi surveyed the dripping walls and then plucked uncooked pasta from the pot on the stove. Erwin swallowed nervously when Levi turned his attention back to him.

Levi shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re lucky I love you, ya know that?” Levi asked.

Erwin gave a solemn nod. “I know.” He murmured apologetically.

Levi then sprang into action. “First we’re going to clean this shit up, then we’re ordering takeout and starting tomorrow I’m teaching you how to cook.” Levi ordered as he handed Erwin a bucket and sponge.

“Thank you Levi, I appreciate it.” Erwin murmured apologetically.

Levi sighed.”I’m just glad that you didn’t hurt yourself, idiot. I still love you.” He replied as he swatted Erwin’s ass as he moved past him to get started.

____________________

Levi kept true to his promise and taught Erwin how to cook as they prepared dinner together on the weekends. Erwin enjoyed watching Levi move around the kitchen with the grace of an experienced dancer while Erwin was more like a lame horse. He cherished those lessons because not only did he learn how to cook, he felt that his bond with Levi grew even stronger.

Levi never did forget the dinner disaster but thankfully the only time it ever came up was at social gatherings among friends when Levi overindulged in cocktails which happened pretty rarely. As soon as Erwin heard the words; “Hey Erwin, remember the time you surprised me by making dinner?” He would excuse himself from the room with a groan.

___________

The timer on the oven chimed loudly bringing Erwin back from his memories and into the present. He grabbed some oven mitts and removed the garlic bread from the oven and placed it in the bread basket to cool. He then proceeded to set the table and plated the food knowing that Levi would arrive home at any moment. The only mishap was a small sauce stain on the tablecloth but it was easily remedied by a strategically placed candle holder.

Levi arrived on time as usual and Erwin had met him at the door. “Well I didn’t see any ambulances or fire trucks outside so I’m guessing everything went ok?”Levi asked trying to hide a smile.

Erwin pouted. “Thanks for the vote of confidence darling.” Erwin sulked.

“I’m kidding, you sap.” Levi replied as he walked into the dining room.

__________________

Dinner went perfectly much to Erwin’s relief. Levi actually finished his plate and Erwin beamed with pride at the silent compliment. Levi was not one to feign satisfaction and Erwin loved him for that.

Finally Levi leaned forward and looked Erwin in the eyes. “Hey, do you remember that time-“

Erwin groaned. “Really, Levi?” He interrupted growing irritated.

Levi held up one finger. “ I wasn’t finished, don’t be rude.” He chided. “Remember That time you made that fucking amazing dinner and I let you eat your favorite dessert in bed?”

A crooked grin crossed Erwin’s face when Levi grabbed the strawberries and whipped cream from the refrigerator. “I can’t say I do.” Erwin said huskily.

“Well, get naked and meet me in the bedroom and I’ll make sure you’ll never forget.” Levi purred as he walked past.

[aqua-4-swimwear]

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