#also sorry to those that got multiple notifs about me uploading and reuploading it

[rogueonestan]

ch 18 -“‘til our paths cross.”

pairing: the mandalorian (din djarin) x f!reader / ofc

word count: 8.3k

summary: after learning the one thing you have kept as a secret, din reflects on the time he has spent with you. in doing so, he comes to a conclusion that will forever change your paths.

a/n: hi im back with another update a month later. i tried uploading this last week but tumblr was acting funny so i wanted to wait a little bit until i tried posting it again. hope you enjoy!

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The dead silence in the Crest isn’t enough to put a stop to the thoughts that are currently going through Din’s mind. 

He almost forgot how much he can no longer stand the silence. It’s something he got used to for such a long time. Nearly every night was filled with dead silence, but now not a day has passed without any noise thanks to you and the kid- not that he’s complaining. If only that were the case right now.

Even when his head is spinning with thought after thought, the only thing Din can focus on at the moment is the humming of hyperspace. He thought that being alone is exactly what he needed, but it isn’t helping the slightest. Usually being alone helped Din sort through his thoughts in the past, distracting himself by getting away from everything, but not this time. 

It reminds him of a time when his afternoons were spent like this. He’s gotten so used to his days being filled with noise that he forgot what it was like to be in complete silence, and it’s something he hasn’t missed in the slightest. This should be the perfect place for Din to clear his head, but it isn’t. As hard as he tries, he can’t seem to process everything that has happened in the past day or so. When you returned back to the Crest after everything that happened on Nevarro, Din’s first instinct was to be alone with his thoughts, thanks to his old habits. He can’t focus on what he’s thinking longer than for a minute- so much is on his mind as the ship is in transit. Everything had changed just by one afternoon spent in the cantina that the two of you had grown so familiar with. One moment you’re trying to lure an ex-Imperial officer to his death and the next, you’re trying to survive a shootout. 

Then the next thing Din knows, he finds out that you’re considered to be an enemy. A Jedi. 

He doesn’t even know what it means to be a Jedi, or even what a Jedi is, but based on what the Armorer told him, it sounded like they’re the enemy of his people. 

He feels as conflicted now as he did then. 

Even though you don’t consider yourself to be a Jedi anymore, you still knew about the strange abilities the kid has and didn’t mention anything to him about it. You even recognized what species the child was when you found him and still didn’t mention anything. 

The more he thinks about it, the more questions he has. 

Why didn’t you ever mention anything about the Jedi? Did you not trust him enough? Or was it something you weren’t proud of? 

You were never one to shy away from reminiscing about your past. You’ve told Din plenty of tales from your childhood, and even when the galaxy was at war, but never your time with the Jedi. Something must have happened with your time with them. 

Maybe that’s something he can ask you about once the Crest jumps out of hyperspace. 

Glancing behind him, Din follows the source of the only sound in the cockpit. The child is still fast asleep in his makeshift bed, unbothered by his surroundings. The long day all three of you had obviously got to him as well. A sigh leaves Din’s modulator as he continues to glance at the sleeping child in front of him. Usually this would help him ease his nerves, but nothing seems to be helping with the thoughts gnawing at his brain. 

Why didn’t you say anything to him? 

Din’s told you things that he hasn’t told anyone in years, hell, he doesn’t think he’s ever told anyone the things that he has shared with you, but you haven’t shown him the same courtesy. There have been so many opportunities for you to do so, but you never spoke up. There have been so many times that you could have explained things, made it easier for Din to understand the strange child, but you didn’t. You only kept your mouth shut when Din was confused about what was going on with the kid.

Though he understands why you never mentioned your history with the Jedi, afraid you would be putting yourself in harm’s way if you did, it still doesn’t help with the tight knot in his stomach. It would have been a difficult conversation to have, sure, but you still would have shown the full trust you have in him by telling him the entire truth- not hiding it until you were forced to explain yourself. 

Shaking his head, he immediately disregards the thought. He can’t blame you for a decision that clearly has haunted you on a daily basis. 

There’s a reason why you never told him before and you told him why when the two of you were in the hull just a few hours ago. You were afraid.

You were afraid that if you told him about who you were, you were going to be either killed or turned in as a bounty. 

Being on the run simply because you were raised by the Jedi was all you knew for years, and Din can’t blame you for that. He doesn’t know how long you were with the Jedi or when you began distancing yourself from their ways, all he knows is that you did it to protect yourself. if you hadn’t, then your paths wouldn’t have crossed.

It’s not an easy thing to digest, but Din knows the decision to hide this from him must have not been easy. It’s not easy to open yourself up to someone you’ve only known for a short period of time, especially when you have been stabbed in the back on multiple occasions in the past. Din knows that feeling all too well. There have been things Din hasn’t told you, or spared you the details of, because he wanted you to protect you. Though the details were minor like playing off an injury he got from a fight or something bad that happened that day- he understands why maybe you never revealed your past to him. 

There must have been a good reason for it. You wouldn’t have made that choice with a blink of an eye. It would have been one of the most difficult decisions you’ve ever made. You’ve always been so open with him about everything. It hurts for Din to think about why you never told him about it before, but he tries to not think about it too hard. 

Maybe that’s just how you were raised. Keeping certain truths away from others to protect them. You never judged Din for the customs he grew up with the Mandalorians, so he can’t judge you too harshly on the customs the Jedi raised you with. He may not know exactly what they are, but he can’t judge you too much until he learns more about them. You’ve shown him that same courtesy, always asking questions about the Mandalorians and their traditions without any judgement, even when you knew about the history your two people have with one another. The least he can do is show you the same courtesy. 

The Mandalorians always told him to be wary of who to trust. If you trust everyone that comes in your path, then you’re bound to have others taking advantage of your naivety. Perhaps you were raised with similar principles. 

The Jedi can seem like mysterious people to outsiders. The outside world knows hardly anything about them, even when they were highly renowned during the Clone Wars. All people knew during that time is that they had weird powers that wielded laser swords. No one really knew what their beliefs were or what their Code was. All most people knew is that they would try their best to help others by siding with the Republic. 

Without knowing, the many things Din admires about you is because you were raised by. Throughout your journey together, you’ve shown him your true colors. You’ve tried your hardest to let that part of your life go, but the teachings of those who raised you have been engraved in your mind. You’ve shown this to your partner by your willingness to help the defenseless on multiple occasions.

The first time Din was able to see this side of you was when you received the bounty puck to retrieve the child. It seems like such a long time since that day. Before arriving on Arvala-7, you always kept your mouth shut when it came to a job you disagreed with. You always told Din how you felt about a job, but this was the first time you told him how you really felt. You refused to bring an innocent child into the hands of the Empire. He was only a child.  The kid would be defenseless and you knew that you had the power to do something about it. You couldn’t just step aside and let the Imperials do whatever they pleased- you had to stop them. 

You always put the kid’s well-being before your own while he was in your care. You put yourself in danger during the short fight with the Trandoshans to make sure the child remained safe, and kept an eye on him when the three of you were returning back to Nevarro to hand him over to the men who hired you. During the ride back, Din made sure you were safe as well. 

The relationship between the two of you changed during this trip. He was able to see how caring you were towards strangers you just met, something he hadn’t seen in you before. You ensured other people’s safety before your own. 

Before you took this job, you always showed a tough exterior to the outside world, but you showed Din the real you. You showed kindness and empathy towards others. You were finally beginning to grow comfortable with his company, which is something not many can say. Something about the kid changed something deep within you, and Din cannot be more grateful.

If it weren’t for you and your kind nature, he wouldn’t have been able to tell you the things that he has over the past several months. When your walls came down, his came down as well. He shared a few things with you at this point, but your relationship only began to grow since that day. Your compassion let him see you, not his bounty hunter partner, but you. You had qualities he hadn’t seen in another person in a long time- he almost forgot what it was like for someone to do something out of the kindness of their heart, not because they felt obligated to. 

And that’s what Din admires about you. When you know something is wrong, you aren’t afraid to say so. You were wary from the start, saying how you weren’t sure if you should even go through with this job in the first place, but went through with it anyway because Din told you to. You put your own personal beliefs to the side for the job’s sake. When you found out that the bounty you tracked was a kid, you weren’t afraid to voice your concerns. There have been times where you felt uncomfortable with a few jobs you were tasked with, but you never accepted a job where it was an innocent child. 

You couldn’t find it within you to go through with it. If you did, then would there be a limit to what the two of you would or wouldn’t do? You had to put your own emotions to the side during your hunts, but you showed Din that you had a heart, a conscience, during this adventure. Not many hunters showed this part of themselves in the Guild. Din got used to seeing blank stares in the cantina back on Nevarro, but seeing the intimate interaction between you and the kid showed him just how different you are from the other hunters. Almost none of them would have been able to express themselves the same way you did that afternoon.

Without realizing it, that afternoon changed everything for Din. Everyone he knew had such difficulty connecting with others, but you were able to do it with such ease with the kid. It took a long time for you to be like that with Din, but you were able to eventually tell him stories from your past. The relationship you had was slowly growing from strictly professional to friendly by the occasional banter you would have. If it weren’t for the kid entering your lives, then your relationship wouldn’t have grown into what it is today. Neither of the walls you or Din put up wouldn’t have been able to come down.

Not once did you ever grow irritated by the little information Din shared with you about the Mandalorians when you asked about them. Before meeting, you knew very little about his people, but with time, you consider yourself lucky to learn more about them each day that passed by. By this, you asked the questions that came across your mind rather than making an assumption. He would give you vague answers at first, not wanting to reveal too much just in case you parted ways, but with time and patience, you were able to learn more about them than you ever imagined, even more so when you decided to stay by his side when he decided to rescue the child from the Imperial safehouse.

“I’m with you until the very end,”  You told him that day. Those words haven’t left his mind since that afternoon. Even when you hardly knew a thing about him, you still showed him where your true loyalty stands: with him- not the Guild, but him. It’s something he hasn’t been able to forget. 

One of the most important things to the Mandalorians is sticking with those you care for and keeping your word, and you showed that to Din when you supported him with one of the most difficult decisions he’s ever made. Not many would have made the decision you did. Many would have left his side, or even tip off other hunters, but not you. You always were different from other hunters. That day, Din was able to see who you really were. Not only were you kind and patient towards a child when you thought your partner wasn’t paying attention, but you also showed one of the most important virtues regarded to his people: undying loyalty. It’s one thing to say you will never leave someone’s side, but it’s another to actually stay true to your word. You never once made Din question where your loyalty is, and that’s something he can’t take lightly. 

What he didn’t realize until recently is the purpose he has. Things can easily get messy and complicated in this galaxy. When you both agreed to have a shared partnership, Din knew that you would be under his protection and he would do anything to make sure nothing bad happened to you, but what he didn’t realize was just how important your safety is to him until a few weeks ago. When deciding to take the kid in, he saw how he can use his training for good instead of bad. Instead of taking a life, he now can ensure the safety of two. Now, he’s not some hunter- he’s a protector of now two lives, and he’s been able to prove that by the several dangerous situations the three of you have been in together. From a cantina brawl on a random planet to that pazaak situation you accidentally put yourself in, to the weeks you spent on Sorgan, Din’s been able to keep the three of you safe even when a great danger exposes itself. 

The threat on Sorgan didn’t seem that bad at first, only a group of outsiders stirring up trouble with the local village, but things only escalated the longer you were there. The real threat exposed itself when inspecting the nearby area. The outsiders not only were greater in size, but they also had an AT-ST in their possession. The odds didn’t seem to be in your favor at that point, but with great determination and training, you were able to help the local village fight off the attackers. Din was hesitant to help at first, thinking that the odds were too great, but you disagreed. You believed that with the villagers’ support, you would be able to help them with their raider problem. Instead of worrying if they would survive the next harvest, they would be able to work in peace. And you were right- with hard work and perseverance, the attacks were finally put to an end with one final confrontation. 

After that night, the majority of the time you spent in the village was almost pure bliss. If you hadn’t been so persistent in helping them, then none of that would have happened. Din wouldn’t have been able to see the kind of life that he’s always thought of. Most of his life has been spent in hiding, whether it was literally hiding in the Mandalorian covert for so many years or it was hiding himself from the galaxy, Din never knew what it would be like to stay in a place that reminded him so much of home village before it was taken away from him. It wasn’t something he thought he wanted until he saw it right in front of his eyes. 

He never saw the true beauty of a community until the three of you became a part of one- for the time being at least. He never spent as much time with the villagers as you had, but he saw the charm in it. The villagers never hesitated to ask for help from himself or you, but seemed much more comfortable asking you. When they did, you always agreed with a giant smile on your face. It was something Din hadn’t seen before. You were always willing to help others when they needed it, but he’s never seen you this carefree before. 

Nobody had to worry about the dangers the next day would bring. The problems here on Sorgan almost seem minuscule compared to the ones you had when you went rogue from the Guild. You were preoccupied with your worries before arriving on the peaceful planet that you forgot what it was like to not worry about a thing. Instead of chatting about your worries, you were finally able to pass the time by the conversations you two would have throughout the day. One morning, in particular, pops up in his mind- the final day you spent at the village before you were forced to leave. 

That morning, Din told you things he hadn’t told anyone for as long as he can remember. He told you what his childhood was like, how similar his village was to the one you were currently staying at. He hadn’t felt this peaceful since he was a boy. 

It was something he missed greatly. He’s missed the feeling of connecting with another person- he never let himself grow too close with someone ever since he lost his parents. Losing them was bad enough, he wouldn’t be able to handle the heartache of losing someone else he cares deeply for. The only person he’s allowed himself to grow close with is you. 

He’s missed the feeling of not doing much during the day. Most of his days were spent completing task after task, never having a moment to enjoy the little things. To the average person, seeing a town go on with their daily lives may not seem that spectacular, but it brought comfort to Din. His days were always filled with adventure, never knowing what the next day might bring, but seeing the everyday lives of the villagers brought a fire in his belly as warm as your hand had felt that morning. It’s a feeling he hasn’t been able to forget. 

It’s been such a long time since he’s had such an intimate moment with another person that he can remember almost everything about that moment. He can remember how fast his heart was racing when your fingers intertwined with his, how the weight resting in his hand replaced the weight he felt on his chest, or the feeling he got in his stomach when his eyes locked with yours when you were silently listening to him. No matter how hard he tries, that moment isn’t able to leave his brain. It’s the only thing that has been playing on repeat late at night. 

It was a simple gesture from you, a silent sign of support as he continued to tell you the fate of his parents. It was difficult for him to do, the words barely left his mouth as he described the destruction of his home, but you were patient with him, as you always have been. You never interrupted him or grew restless with how long it took him. If it took him a millennium to say something, even if it was just one detail, you would be more than willing to wait for what he has to say. 

And that’s another thing that he admires about you. Not only have you been nothing but patient when it comes to him opening up to you, but you also have such a gift when it comes to connecting with others. After describing such an awful memory, you were sympathetic towards him by revealing the similar fate your parents suffered as well. It wasn’t easy, but you did it so that he wouldn’t feel as alone. 

You both had similar upbringings and were adopted into different cultures, but those who raised you shaped into who you are today.  For Din, he closed himself off from others so that he wouldn’t have to experience losing anyone else, but you were the complete opposite. Instead of closing yourself off from the galaxy, you never let your past experience of losing someone stop you from forming relationships with others. A wall was always put up from being vulnerable with almost anyone you met, but you let it down when you finally met someone you trusted completely, like Din. It took a while for you to get to this point with him, but he’s the first person you’ve been completely raw with since the fall of your people. 

That same wall lowered the same day you arrived at the village. Something about the locals made you immediately trust them, Din noticed. It’s something he hadn’t seen in you before. Thanks to that feeling, you were able to help them with their problem. Instead of backing down when things got tough, you never took ‘no’ for an answer when it came to helping them. Despite all of the trouble you’ve had in the past, of others using your good nature against you, you never lost faith in the village, believing that with their help, the raidings would be put to an end. You were right. With their help, all of their problems stopped. 

That’s something that Din still struggles with- seeing the good in every situation. As much as he tries to, his pessimistic side always gets the best of him. He thought that the odds were too great to provoke the intruders, but he was wrong. If it weren’t for you, then who knows what would’ve been the fate of the village. Ever since that day, he tries to see the light of every situation, but that gets hard at times. There were many times when Din doubted the battle would be won in your favor, but thanks to your selfless act to protect the villagers, everything turned out alright in the end. 

From that battle to the last morning you spent there on Sorgan, Din hasn’t been able to forget about the time you spent together. As much as he tries to, he can’t stop replaying the simple gesture of both of your hands touching for the first time. It wasn’t even an extraordinary moment at the time, just a small sign to show your patience with him, but for some reason, the moment hasn’t been able to leave his mind. Even when his mind is filled with so many thoughts late at night, he gets the same feeling in his stomach as he did when you put your hand in his. 

Hand holding is still as tender now as it was then, even with the multiple times you’ve done it at this point. It’s a sign of showing support towards each other, but that morning was the first time your skin grazed him on purpose. Maybe he’s looking way into it, but when your hand touched his that morning, he got a feeling in his stomach that he hadn’t felt in a very long time. The last time he can even think of feeling remotely similar to this was when Xi’an was in his life, but even she couldn’t make him feel the way he feels towards you. He felt it during your last day on Sorgan and he felt it again when you traveled to your destination on an isolated planet where there was nothing but flowers in sight. 

The warm feeling in his stomach returned when he heard laughter coming from inside the hull after landing on the foreign planet. He didn’t know what the cause of your laughter was, but he didn’t care during the moment. All he cared about was knowing you were happy and safe. He knew that all three of you would be safe here for the time being. He wouldn’t have to worry about what would happen if he left you alone on the ship. Instead of his afternoon being spent worrying about what he would have to do to make sure you’re all safe, he can finally rest. His days can be like what they were when you were on Sorgan. The day can be spent doing whatever you want, not putting yourselves in danger just so you can survive to see nightfall. 

It’s something Din hadn’t allowed himself to feel in a very long time- to be at ease. He didn’t even let himself be completely vulnerable during the weeks you spent at the village. He was afraid that the moment he let his guard down, there would be something to interrupt what he was feeling, and in a way, he was right. The morning he let his guard down was the same morning that the bounty hunter was able to track you down and almost kill the kid. 

It was just bad luck. Word eventually got around about the fight that took place and that’s how you were eventually found. Thankfully, that didn’t happen on the planet you were laying low momentially. Din had hoped that you could’ve stayed here longer, enjoying the peace that seemed to linger in the air, but the decisions he made in the past decided to catch up to him. Instead of laying low on this peaceful planet for a few weeks, you were only able to stay here for a day or two, but the time you spent here hasn’t been able to leave Din’s mind.

He found an abandoned planet when trying to find a safe place where the three of you could lay low for a while. With a low population density, the chances of someone spotting you were slim to none. You wouldn’t be able to stay here longer than a few weeks with the supplies you have, but staying here meant that you would be out of danger, and that’s all Din cared about. If keeping your head low on an abandoned planet meant that you wouldn’t be in any kind of danger, then he would be more than willing to hide away from the galaxy with you. With the great amount of danger you both have been in lately, Din’s more than willing to stay here.

When first stepping foot on this planet, the sound of local wildlife greeted Din. Birds were chirping, tiny animals were chatting, and even the simple sound of the tree branches swaying back and forth brought a sense of comfort in his bones. The planet didn’t offer much, only the beauty of its atmosphere, but you didn’t need much to be safe. All you needed was a secluded area and enough food and water to last you for a while, and that was enough for Din. If your afternoons were spent with each other’s company, that’s more than what he could ask for. 

Din was quick to make sure the area was safe shortly after the Crest landed. When he was doing so, he had the company of your laughter coming from the hull of the ship. The sound was so distant at first. If things weren’t so quiet outside, he wouldn’t have been able to hear it, but he’s so glad that he did. It’s a sound he hadn’t heard in a while- a sound he didn’t know he missed. He heard it almost everyday when you were at the village on Sorgan, but ever since you were on the run again, the sound became rare. 

Hearing your laughter in the past always brought Din joy, knowing that you’re enjoying yourself for the time being, but hearing it this time brought a different feeling inside his chest. To this day, he still doesn’t know exactly what that feeling is. Knowing that you’re happy even after being in danger just a few days prior made Din happy too, but the feeling in his stomach is foreign. He hasn’t had this kind of a reaction to something before. The only time he’s had a feeling in his gut is when his stress is beginning to get to him or when he knows he’s in danger, never to a sound as delightful as your laughter. 

Then the feeling only got stronger when he saw your reaction to where you would be staying for the next leg of your journey. The kid was giggling as he was running through the nearby flower field, but the only thing that captured Din’s attention was how soft your features were in the moment. From the way the eyes were in awe from your surroundings to the gigantic grin plastered across your face, the only thing Din could focus on is you. You somehow were able to put him under some kind of spell without trying to. 

The feeling he had in his stomach spread throughout his entire body. It’s weird to explain, but somehow it spread from his stomach to his chest to his bones. He doesn’t know how to explain what it is but it’s something he never wants to go away. It’s something he hasn’t felt in a long time, knowing that he was the reason behind your happiness made the feeling even stronger. No one’s been able to have this effect on him before, except you. Without even trying, you managed to capture a part of him he didn’t even know he gave to you. He’s kept his heart locked up for so long that he forgot what it felt like to give it to any person. 

He never has to worry about whether or not you’ll judge him harshly for something he’s done in the past. He knows that you’ll have an open mind about things and only have an opinion on it once you’ve asked questions about it.

There hasn’t been a single time where he’s felt judgment coming from you. You haven’t agreed with everything he’s done, but you respect the decisions he’s made, and that’s something he doesn’t take for granted. It’s rare for someone to be as patient and open-minded as you are, most people form an opinion far before they know every single detail, but not you. The only time you’ve only criticized a decision he’s made is when you don’t agree with it. After being partners for so long, there have been a handful of times where you don’t agree with a plan of his, but you still support him because of the amount of trust you have in him. If he said nothing bad would happen, you would take his word for it. It’s a sign of trust you’ve shown towards him and that’s something he can’t take lightly. 

Loyalty and family are the two most important things to his people. Having undying loyalty to those closest to you shows just how much you trust the other person. It’s something he’s only seen in the covert. Putting your complete trust in someone, knowing they will put your best interest in heart, is something he’s only seen Mandalorians show towards other Mandalorians. They put their full trust in each other because they’re like family, and family will do anything to make sure the rest are safe, like you. Din admitted this shyly one afternoon, afraid of what your reaction would be when he admitted he saw you as a part of his family, but seeing the look on your face told him you felt the same as well. Your people may not have as strong a belief in family as his people do, but you know the importance of him referring to you as family meant to him. 

He was so nervous during the moment that he didn’t even notice how his stomach turned into knots when your hand touched his after he admitted this. A weight was taken off of his shoulders after telling you this- he didn’t even notice his body physically reacted to you touching him. 

He got that same feeling again when seeing your reaction to the planet the Crest landed on. You had such a childlike wonder to it that the radiance beaming from you was contagious. Like you, the biggest smile was on Din’s face when he glanced around his surroundings before heading back to his task. The moment between the two of you didn’t last long, as the little one began running off towards the nearby trees, but Din hasn’t been able to get this memory out of his head. He doesn’t even know why. 

Even when you were gone, his thoughts weren’t able to escape you. He couldn’t stop thinking about how happy you seemed here even when you just got here, or how the sun bouncing off of your skin seemed to give you such a glow- not from the sun itself, but from within. Your warm nature being prevalent on the inside and outside. Everything about you was able to easily rub off of Din. 

He doesn’t even know how mind came across the things that it did. One moment he’s thinking about what the three of you could do on the planet to pass the time and the next is what your future together would be like. The future together is something he’s thought about a lot recently since the child came into your lives- he always thought about what life would be like once you found a safe place for the baby, but thoughts like these never came across his mind until that sunny afternoon. 

Rather than wondering what the two of you would do in the future, like if you would ever return back to Nevarro someday or if you would continue traveling the galaxy together, thoughts about settling down came across his mind. He doesn’t even know how that thought popped up. The two of you never discussed settling down together, you’ve both expressed wanting to have a peaceful life someday but never together, so he doesn’t know where this idea came from. It’s probably the atmosphere of this place, he told himself. 

Neither of you ever talked about what exactly your relationship is. He knows this partnership you have goes way beyond what you both agreed to, more than just collecting bounties together, it’s a bond neither of you has felt in a very long time, but the unclear relationship you have doesn’t exactly help Din figure out what he felt during the moment. Why is he only able to think about you? Even when he’s trying to figure his future, whether that would include just himself or with someone else, the only thing he’s able to think about is you- how much things have blossomed between the two of you ever since leaving the peaceful village. Never in a million light-years did Din think he would be able to feel towards another person with how he feels towards you. It’s a foreign feeling, something that he has to figure out one day.

The only thing he knows for sure is that he trusts you more than anyone else in the entire galaxy. If there was something you were uncertain about, he would gladly hear you. If you decided against a decision of his, he would try to figure out another way. 

After everything you have been through together, the only thing he knows for a fact is that he doesn’t want a future without you. It’s hard to imagine a life without you, whether that meant continuing the lifestyle you’ve shared for the past year or if that meant a more domestic one. 

There’s so much he’s told you about himself that he hasn’t dared to share with another soul, whether it was the simple reveal of his name, or where he came from, or even what life was like when the Mandalorians took him in, he’s never told anyone the things he’s told you without thinking twice about it. He hasn’t trusted someone this much-  the last person he can think of was before he was adopted into his creed. 

When he told you about the ideals he was raised with, you never made any judgements towards him. The only thing you told him was that he was more than the beskar armor he wears daily. Though he was adopted into Mandalorian customs, you always told him he’s more than what he was raised by- that he’s his own person. He’s gotten so used to others making critical judgements about him just because of who he was raised by that he was taken back to hear what you had to say. 

It’s not often he heard someone speak about his people in such a collected manner- most people were quick to judge their warrior ways that it was nice to hear such good things come from someone who isn’t accustomed to their ways. Hearing you talk about your loyalty to him, to Din, not to the Mandalorian warrior, was something he didn’t know he needed to hear. He grew used to people either admiring or condescending his warrior ways that he forgot at times what it meant to be his own person.

Thanks to you, he’s been able to see that part of himself again. He’s hidden it away not only from the galaxy but from himself as well, and you’ve been able to show him that he can be his own person beyond the armor he dons. There’s no doubt that his creed has shaped him into who he is today, but he’s also more than that. He’s someone with a heart, empathy towards others, putting others before himself- something he’s never thought of himself as until you pointed it out. You were able to see the best parts of him when he didn’t even see them.

When you were able to see the best parts of him, he saw the best parts in you when you returned with a simple gift when you were gone for a bit. Glancing back at the memory, the gesture wasn’t that big, just a bunch of flowers bundled up together, but to him, it meant so much to him. He can’t even remember the last time someone did this thoughtful for him, let alone giving him a gift. It’s been such a long time since he’s experienced this much joy from a single action. It probably didn’t seem that big of a deal to you at the time, just something to take his mind off of things for the moment, but he can remember everything about that moment- the warm feeling in his chest returning when he saw the bundle of flowers shaking slightly in your hands, the nervous expression on your face, the feeling of the sun beaming against the sliver of exposed skin at the nape of his neck. He wanted to remember every single detail of that moment, not wanting to forget what it felt like. He never wanted to forget what it felt like to be this happy, not having to worry about anything happening to the three of you. He just wanted to stay here.

He wanted to see more of this side of you. Seeing how happy and carefree you were here reminded him of the memories he has of his mother. When he was a boy, his mother and father used to do so much to express the love they had for one another, and a lot of the memories he has of them is the gifts they would give each other to show how much they loved each other. It’s something that his parents always made sure he was a part of- he would try to help them as much as he could to help pick out the gift. It was something he always looked forward to as a boy and it’s something he’s seen on multiple occasions during his trips throughout the galaxy. 

Gift exchanging is a common thing among married couples- like his parents, married couples want to express their love by giving their significant other something they know they’ll like, and Din can’t help but think of these things as he inspected the bundle of flowers you gave him that day. It wasn’t the most lavish gift, but it was more than he ever could ask for. It showed that, he too, was on your mind even when you were separated. You wanted to express how much you care for his well being by giving him something that you had access to, and with the current environment you’re staying in, you have very limited choice. He didn’t care what the gift was, all he cared about was the thought you put into it. 

The thoughtful gift is what reminds him of the qualities you have that his mother also had- your thoughtful nature, the way you put others first before yourself, offering to help others in any way you can. His well being was your first priority. You tried to ease his mind as much as you could, you tried to take some of the burden off of his shoulders by offering to repair his very torn cape that he dons. It was something that you didn’t even think twice about, just wanting to help him in any way that you can, but it’s something he hasn’t been able to forget. It’s just one of the many ways you’ve shown him how considerate and thoughtful you can be without even realizing it. 

~

There’s so much about that day that he hasn’t been able to forget, even when he’s alone in the cockpit as the Crest is in orbit of your next destination.

So much has happened within the last week of your lives. One day you’re able to find sanctuary on a nearly abandoned planet and then the next, he finds out about the one part of your life you never shared with him before. He can think about why you never spoke about this part of your life before but at the end of the day, it’s a decision that you didn’t take lightly. With how open your relationship has been lately, it’s hard to imagine just how difficult this decision must have been for you. Not only to keep this from him, knowing about the messy history both of your people have together, but to move on from who raised you. Even when the Empire was hunting his people, Din always had the support of those who took him in, but you didn’t. You had to survive on your own. If you hadn’t, then your paths wouldn’t have crossed. 

There must be a reason why your paths crossed. It’s the only reason he can think of- because the galaxy wouldn’t be so cruel as to force his path away from the one person he trusts the most, right?

It’s not an easy thing to digest- to find out the one person you trust the most was hiding something as big as this. A Jedi. He can’t get the Armorer’s words out of his head. Not only were the people who took you in considered to be enemies of his people, but you also knew more about the child than he did and still didn’t tell him. He can’t help but feel that you don’t trust him nearly as much as he trusts you. 

He disregards the thought, shaking his head. You didn’t have the same kind of support as he did when the Empire rose to power. He had others in his covert to rely on when things got tough, but the only person you had was yourself, something he knows all too well at this point. 

He closed himself off from others just so he wouldn’t have to feel the weight he feels in his chest. He understands why you made the decision that you did, but he can’t ignore the aching feeling he feels throughout his entire body by the thought of you not telling him sooner. You only revealed that part of your life to him because you were forced to. He told you things he hasn’t told anyone else since, well ever, not even someone in the covert. He had so much faith in you that he told you anything he could think of. It doesn’t feel fair to expose parts of himself to you just for you to keep something hidden. 

There have been a few times where you almost told him about who raised you, but out of fear, you backed down. He doesn’t know what things were like when your people fell, maybe that’s something the two of you can talk about once you land. He hardly knows a thing about your people, and like you, he can’t be one to form an opinion on a group of people he doesn’t know. You never cast judgment on who raised him. You always asked questions about his beliefs in a respectable manner, and he should have that same common courtesy.

He knows that he should see you as an ‘enemy sorcerer,’ something the Armorer referred to your people as, but he didn’t see that when he was looking at you as you were confessing where you really came from. It wasn’t an easy topic to talk about for you, that’s obvious by how your fingers fumbled with each other as you looked down at the floor in shame, but it’s something you confessed to him, even when you were scared. You didn’t know how he was going to react to the news, thinking he was going to leave you behind. For that, he can’t hold the decision you made against you. There have been so many decisions you both have disagreed on, and this is one of them. He would have preferred if you told him about this sooner, but he can’t hold this against you when it’s clearly haunted you at night. 

“What do you think, kid?” Din asks as he turns around in his seat, to find the child has just woken up from his overdue nap. With one swift movement, the child is secure in the crook of his arms in a matter of seconds. Even when his surroundings are as peaceful as they can get, his mind won’t stop turning a million miles a minute. 

“Why didn’t she tell me…” He mumbles out, mainly to himself. When he glances down at the child wrapped in his arms, the look in the child’s eyes is trying to tell him something that Din can’t seem to decipher. It’s like he’s trying to tell the masked man something important but can’t understand it. 

When a few moments of silence are passed in the hull, another question comes from Din’s mouth, one he almost doesn’t want to know the answer to. “Did you know?”

The only kind of coherent response the child gives is a series of giggles, not knowing the true connotation. Sighing, Din lets his head fall back as he lets his mind wander. 

“Regardless of what has changed your mind about her, I sense she will help you with your journey.”

Even when his mind is going almost nonstop, the words from the Armorer haven't been able to leave his mind- it always has a way of coming back to him. 

The emerging of your two paths had to happen for a reason. 

For whatever the reason may be, Din knows the only person who would be able to help him with his journey is you. He doesn’t know where to begin to even find the people who raised you- it would be damn near impossible if you weren’t by his side. Though you don’t see yourself as a Jedi any longer, you can still aid him in his journey of returning the child back to the Jedi. Maybe you could even help him understand more about the weird powers the child has, or even help the kid gain more control over them. After what he experienced in the cantina on Nevarro, Din finally sees just how powerful the little one really is. He can’t protect him without your help. It will be a long and difficult path, but it’s one he doesn’t want to do without you. 

“Alright kid, let’s go.”

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