#also the algorithm sucked so so so bad bro ...

[mildcrow]

to any other artists that happen to see this: is it worth going back to twitter? i had an acc yonks ago and it was actively making my brain rot, but my art was getting pretty good exposure (for twitter) . it just felt so soulless.

i haven't touched twt for a while so idk if it's now worse for artists than it used to be like 3 years ago

[is-nino-actually-luka]

Top 10 Ninos in Miraculous Ladybug

Hey Everyone! 

Ever since Stormy Weather, Miraculous Ladybug fans around the world have always wondered who the best Nino is. However everyone knows Top 10 list are 10x better than that so we’re doing this instead.

In this list, we used a complex equation to calculate which Nino has the greatest combination of friendliness, superheroics, musical ability, directorial inability, loyalty, and that special something that makes them Nino.

This list had a lot of competition, so don’t feel too bad if your favorite Nino didn’t make this particular list! Plus if you guys reblog this with an essay telling me how wrong I am, the tumblr algorithm will actually promote the post!

10. Shell Shock

In 10th place, we have the superhero turned supervillain Shell Shock! Now although you wouldn’t think he has the qualities of being a Nino, considering how betraying your allies isn’t very friendly, but in his defense akumatizations are no ones fault but Hawkmoth’s. 

Plus this betrayal was the impetus for the Nino Retrieval Arc, which is fondly remembered as having some of the best fights in the show, including the very famous scene where the random citizens in a window drop their training weights and unleash their true power so they can restrain him and 2 other akumatized superheroes with little to no effort.

But the real reason he’s so low is because he’s just Carapace but Red, and turtles aren’t red. That’s silly. Shell Shock is just so silly

9. XY (Ripping off Luka)

On the surface, XY appears to be a talentless hack who clearly doesn’t care about music and is only in it for the money, and he is. But in his defense it’s also pretty clear the dude is obviously a product of his environment since his Dad is clearly the mastermind and even he doesn’t seem to think very much of XY.

Honestly the dude ought to become a better person and one of the best ways to change is to stop emulating his father and find better role models. So if he’s ripping off Kitty Section, specifically Luka, then maybe this could be the first step in the journey to becoming a better person like Luka.

Anyways, XY makes number 9 because of his potential 

8. The Right Half of Oblivio

Alright let’s address the elephant in the room about Super Penguino. It’s pretty obviously a stand in for something else, but the show couldn’t exactly say it explicitly since it is a kid’s show after all.

Super Penguino represents how Alya and Nino are mobile gamers.

Honestly considering that their best friends are console gamers, it makes sense that they may try to hide their hobbies, and as a console gamer myself, I agree. They should be ashamed.

But then again I thought it was a cool episode so it’s number 8 even though we barely see Nino until like the last minute

7. Boy in Spanish

Niño takes the number 7 spot on this list for obvious reasons

6. Silencer

Silencer may be a supervillain, but he’s more of an anti villain if we are being honest. Like honestly he was only trying to steal voices from bad people like XY (Who stole his music and insulted Marinette/his friends), Bob Roth (Who encouraged XY to do that and he is literally everything wrong with the music industry), The Mayor (Who is notoriously corrupt), and Ladybug (Remember when she killed Chat Noir during Hero’s Day on live TV?). 

Plus he was only really doing this to help his friends, which is pretty Pog.

Actually the only reason he isn’t higher is because he tries to silence people and that was literally the same thing the bad guys did in Footloose so not very Nino-like if you ask me

5. Bubbler

The Bubbler was literally only akumatized so he could throw his bro a party, and isn’t that the most Nino-like reason ever? Plus it was because of Gabriel Agreste, so can you really blame him?

Although we have to dock points off because he did send all the adults to the sky which is pretty messed up considering I am technically an adult now. Honestly the Bubbler sounded a lot more reasonable when I watched the episode in high school

4. Carapace

Taking number 4 on the list is everyone’s favorite Captain America Ripoff.

And his debut was really something! He actually 1v1ed an akuma without superpowers! He clearly took Ladybug’s advice to heart when she told him that “When you're facing a supervillain, strength doesn't make a difference. Courage and determination do.”

Plus his power is to protect his friends, and can you tell me a more Nino-like power than that? And his transformation sequence and music is a headbanger so it’s pretty obvious to tell that Nino’s under that hood.

Also he’s green. That’s the color turtles are supposed to be.

3. Viperion

Viperion barely edges out Carapace on the list since Viperion doesn’t need to protect his friends from danger. Instead, Viperion can stop the danger before it happens! It’s like Minority Report, and we all know how good of an idea it was in that movie!

It kinda sucks we didn’t get to see more of him in his debut episode, since Ladybug had to sideline Luka at first since she said “When you're dealing with a supervillain, it's better to have a partner with superpowers.” Although he was a hard carry once he did get superpowers! Literally Hawkmoth and Ladybug consider him the biggest threat when facing a group of heroes!

And like any good Nino transformation, the music is a bop, and having an instrument as a weapon really helps on the Nino ranking

2. Luka

The caring older brother who moonlights as a temporary Reptile Hero, Luka isn’t the only musically inclined friend of Adrien who had a crush on Marinette!

Honestly if you didn’t know any better you might think that Luka is actually Nino!

Luka is in almost everyway the best Nino, and he was a very close second to first. Honestly I had some trouble deciding between the two of them, but I think the number 1 pick is pretty unanimous in everyone’s minds

Before we get to the number one pick, let’s take a look at some honorable mentions

Nino Rota: An famous Italian composer whose work includes the Godfather Trilogy’s Score. However the fact he does not appear in Miraculous Ladybug disqualifies him from the top 10.

Saint Nino: Honestly idk anything about her but she was a Saint so I guess she was important. However the fact she does not appear in Miraculous Ladybug disqualifies her from the top 10.

Nino from Fire Emblem 7: She’s doing her best. However the fact she cannot read disqualifies her from the top 10.

1. El Niño

El Niño is a weather phenomena that occurs about every four years and is associated with a warm band of water in the Pacific Ocean which is accompanied by high air pressures in the western Pacific and low air pressure in the Easter Pacific.

It is also the first thing that comes up in Google when you look up Nino.

Honestly I debated putting it this high up on the list, but Nat Geo told me the El Niño in 2016 was associated with coral bleaching on the Great Barrier Reef, severe droughts in Africa, South America and parts of the Pacific and southeast Asia, and wildfires in Indonesia and Canada. I don’t live in any of those areas but El Niño scares me and for my own safety I decided to appease it by giving it the number 1 spot in this list. 

So did any of our choices surprise you? Make sure to leave a like and comment below your favorite Nino!

[ayellowcurtain]

I can be your lover

Part 5

6 months later

Robbe bites the corner of his bottom lip while staring down, pulling the skin of his thumb until it hurts, ripping it off, brushing the dead skin to the ground carelessly. He grew used to just sitting here and being watched, it doesn’t bother him anymore, not too much at least.

He doesn’t know what to say. He’s been coming to therapy every week in hopes it would help him figure himself out but he feels the worst he’s ever felt.

“I feel useless.” Robbe answers the question that he didn’t get today yet. It’s always the first one so he decided to spare them the trouble. He looks through his eyelashes, finding his therapist staring at him in disapproval of using words such as useless to describe himself.

“I feel like everything is out of my control so there’s no point in trying, really.”

There’s a long silence, a slow breath out and Robbe sighs, relaxing on his chair, meeting his doctor’s eyes, finally even if he doesn’t feel completely comfortable doing so. He feels uneasy, exposed and it bothers him to have to deal with it.

“What happened?” Robbe looks at the notepad on her lap, all his stupid insecurities and mental problems probably written down for anyone to read if given the chance.

“Me and Sander had a fight.” It was the worst fight ever, with them talking over each other and loudly. Robbe loves Sander the same but it feels like it’s really the end this time. They can’t go on like this anymore, Robbe is really at the edge. “I don’t want to do this anymore but I still love him so it’s just...fucked up.”

He does some of the breathing exercises he grew used to doing in the past few months like she suggests he to do often when he’s feeling like this but he knows it won’t help this time, he’s too deep inside his head to let the anger and frustration go every time he breathes out, pretending he’s also letting go of the negative thoughts about himself. He should have cancelled this session because it’s not working, not even talking about it makes him change his mind, see things differently.

He should have stayed home and studied for his finals, it would be a better use of his time. She gives him a notepad and a pencil to do whatever he wants with it: write, draw, scribble. She doesn’t say that but it’s obviously her way to keep him from pulling more skin off his fingers. It’s already a little too late, most of his fingers are burning already but he tries to keep his hands busy anyway, drawing random shapes and lines.

Robbe puts his pencil down when there’s no more room in the page to draw.

“I need to walk away. It’s for the best for both of us. I’ll block him everywhere so I can’t see things and I’ll just let him be while he’s away. And if he ever comes back, maybe we’ll talk if he also feels like it.”

“I think you should calm down, think about it for a few days and not make a one way decision when there are two people involved.” Robbe looks at her and gives back the notepad, “I think he would like you to hear what he has to say about your decision. You two have been in an intimate relationship for a while. Not just romantically but as very close friends.”

Robbe shakes his head, putting his hands inside his pockets, closing his fingers around his thumb until it hurts, “I can’t talk to him or I’ll change my mind.”

-

12 months later

Robbe drops his keys on the little bench he bought to put right next to his door, the exact same layout as it was when he lived with Zoe and Milan (and then Senne. And Sander.). It was another long day of college and work, the last one of an endless week. He turns the lights on and takes his shoes off, kicking them under the bench. Tomorrow he will clean and organize properly. For now, he’ll leave everything as it is. The good side of living alone. The rest sucks but Robbe will never tell anyone about feeling like that. He never thought he was the type to need people around him every day, all day until he had to come home to an empty apartment every night.

It doesn’t happen that often, especially on the weekends, considering his friends are all over the city these days but it happens too often for Robbe’s liking. Zoe and Milan are out of town together, Senne offered to keep him company but they would be two grumpy and tired men so it would be useless. Jens is out of town too, Aaron and Amber are not an option - Robbe can’t have a disgustingly in love couple around anymore - and Moyo is with Britt and Noor. It’s good to be alone sometimes, he tries to convince himself as he reaches the kitchen, opening the fridge. Nothing other than the beers at the bottom excites him so ordering something for dinner it is. Robbe is starving so he makes a very quick search of his phone and decides for the italian restaurant that promises to deliver his food in less than half an hour.

Robbe opens his first beer of the night and throws himself on his couch, looking around, feeling like it’s a new place all of a sudden. Sometimes it hits him that he has his own place now. And that he’s alone. Therapy has been helpful and he can tell the difference when he’s about to have some pretty bad days in the worst possible mood and when his reality is just underwhelming in his eyes and he’ll get over it soon enough. He never thought this would be his life. It’s not a bad one but it’s not what he had planned.

He forces himself to get up once he manages to change his mindset and he takes his clothes off, leaving it on the living room so it’s closer to the laundry machine once he’s clean. He turns some music on and puts it to play all over the apartment, putting his phone down, singing along to Bowie as he shaves the scruff that was starting to get out of hand on his face, he takes a quick shower and while he’s putting his clothes to wash, his food gets home.

Robbe rushes down to grab it and thanks the delivery boy, rushing back inside, lighting some candles just because they’re there, getting dusty and old. He never bothered to buy a dinning table because there’s a small island right there. He sits on the stool and eats, staring at his food and the candle in front of them. His instagram isn’t as updated as it used to.

A long time ago Robbe decided to give himself more time offline, focusing on college and his internship and he’s been good at keeping that mindset most of the time, afraid to spend too many hours per day online, looking for what he’s still having to choose, day in and day out, to keep his distance from so he doesn’t hurt Sander even more.

But he doesn’t care as much tonight, so he takes a picture of his dinner for one and the sad candle in front of him and posts it to his stories, locking his phone instantly, putting it down to eat in peace.

He keeps glancing at it, careful like it could burn if he dared to grab his phone and check. It would be a lie if he said he doesn’t miss Sander but he has learned to live with it. Long distance wasn’t going to work. Robbe is happy for the ones that can jump out of their comfort zone but he can’t and he’s okay with it by now, after months and months of therapy. The only thing he can do is not drag other people into living life this way too if they don’t feel like it.

Sander is happy somewhere else and Robbe is happy that he’s happy. Easy as that.

He eats his food and washes the dishes he left this morning right after or else he would get too tired to do it before going to bed and he doesn’t feel like waking up to a sink full of dirty dishes. He washes his clothes and folds them once they’re dry and warm out of the drier. Plays some video games, and finally crashes into his bed, searching for some comfort movie to watch as he falls asleep. He doesn’t last half an hour watching it, he’ll have to start again if he really wants to watch this movie some other time, but thankfully he had already scheduled his tv to turn off after one hour and a half.

He miraculously wakes up only once in the middle of the night and almost as an afterthought, like he would do so often when he was younger, Robbe grabs his phone to check for any new notifications. Robbe read a lot about algorithms when he had nothing better to do one day because it felt like it’s a theme lately so he knows it doesn’t mean shit but he can’t help but stare at the first name on the list of people who watched his sad dinner stories.

earthlinggoddity

There’s the red-ish circle around his name but Robbe puts his phone down, the screen still bright staring at his mattress as he rolls to the other side, pulling the heavy comforter to wrap around him like a tight burrito, and he closes his eyes again. If he’s still thinking about it tomorrow, with an awake and fully functioning brain, he’ll watch whatever Sander posted if it’s still there. He shouldn’t do it now, half asleep or Robbe won’t be able to go back to sleep thinking about how badly he misses Sander.

He can’t remember his dreams when he wakes up, it’s like he blinked and it was morning already. He feels rested but still mentally tired or empty, one of the two.

His phone is still right next to him, under the pillow he never uses and so he grabs it, checking the notification that just popped on his screen a few minutes ago from Moyo.

What are you doing today, my friend? Felt like we could go skate, smoke a little bit, for old time’s sake.

Robbe sighs, clicking on it, opening his conversation with Moyo.

That sounds like a perfect Saturday to me, my friend. Meet in one hour? I’m still in bed…

While he waits for the answer, the three dots already dancing on his screen, Robbe shakes his head. It’s still somewhat early, just now past eleven so he wonders if Moyo had any sleep. He does sound in a great mood though, Robbe is happy for him but also envying his enthusiasm about life, so early on a Saturday morning.

Jesus Christ, bro. You used to be an early bird. Working your ass off isn’t paying off, huh? One hour and don’t be fucking LATE!

Robbe knows what changed that he’s not an early, happy-chappy human anymore but he won’t bother anyone else with that conversation again. He pushes himself up to put some clothes on and go meet Moyo, making a pitstop for a quick breakfast on his way there.

[jgthirlwell]

2020 Year In Review

This year once again I invited some friends and colleagues to reflect on 2020

JG Thirlwell

Composer

Foetus Xordox Manorexia Steroid Maximus Venture Bros Archer

www.foetus.org

2020 was a troubling and disturbing year. I created a lot of music and experienced a lot of nights waking at 5am in a panic. I deeply missed the sacred experience of being able to see live music. In its absence of that I listened to a lot of music. It was difficult to whittle down this list but here are a lot of albums I enjoyed in 2020, in no particular order.

Le Grand Sbam Furvent (Dur Et Doux) John Elmquist’s HardArt Group I Own an Ion (900 Nurses) Roly Porter Kistvaen (Subtext) Liturgy Origin Of The Alimonies (YLYLCYN) Clark Kiri Variations (Throttle) Dai Kaht Dai Kaht I & II (Soleil Zeuhl) Chromb Le livre des merveilles (Dur Et Doux) Horse Lords The Common Task (Northern Spy) Ecker & Meultzer Carbon (Subtext) Insane Warrior Tendrils (RJ’s Electrical Connections) Jeff Parker Suite For Max Brown (International Anthem) Jacob Kirkegaard Opus Mors (Topos) Tristan Perich Drift Multiply (Nonesuch) Bec Plexus Sticklip (New Amsterdam) Vak Budo (Soleil Zeuhl) Merlin Nova BOO! (Bandcamp) The The Muscle OST (Cineola) Zombi 2020 (Relapse) Regis Hidden In This Is The Light That You Miss (Downwards) Rival Consoles Articulation (Erased Tapes) Sarah Davachi Cantus, Descant (L.A.T.E.) Sufjan Stevens The Ascension (Asthmatic Kitty) Idles Ultra Mono (Partisan) Daedelus The Bittereindeers (Brainfeeder) Boris No (Bandcamp) Aksak Maboul Figures / Un peu de l’ame des bandits / Onze Danses Pour Cobattre La Migraine (Crammed) Noveller Arrow (Ba Da Bing) Felicia Atkinson Everything Evaporate (Shelter Press) Ital Tek Dream Boundary (Planet Mu) Author and Punisher Beastland (Relapse) Sparks A Steady Drip Drip Drip (BMG) Corima Amatarasu (Soleil Zeuhl) Code Orange Underneath (Roadrunner) Deerhoof Future Teenage Cave Artists /Silly Symphonies / To Be Surrounded../ Love Lore(Joyful Noise) Sote Moscels (Opal Tapes) Run The Jewels RTJ4 (Jewel Runners) Oranssi Pazuzu Mestarin Kynsi (Nuclear Blast) Master Boot Record Floppy Disk Overdrive (Metal Blade) Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith The Mosaic Of Transformation (Ghostly International) / Ears (Western Vinyl) Michael Gordon Acquanetta (Cantelope) Neom Arkana Temporis (Soleil Zeuhl) Rian Treanor Ataxia / File Under UK Metaplasm (Planet Mu) Helm Saturnalia (Alter) Ivvvo doG (Halcyon Veil) Robert Normandeau Figures (Empreintes Digitales) Ben Vida Reducing The Tempo To Zero (Shelter Press) Beatrice Dillon Workaround (Pan) Dan Deacon Mystic Familiar (Domino) Sea Oleena Weaving A Basket (Higher Plain Music) Elysian Fields Transience Of Life (Ojet) Rhapsody Symphony Of Enchanted Lands II - The Dark Secret (Magic Circle) Duma Duma (Nyege Nyege) Ulla Strauss Tumbling Towards a Wall / Seed (Bandcamp)

Honorable mentions Carl Stone Stolen Car (Unseen Worlds)  Nazar Guerilla (Hyperdub) Iwo Zaluski with the Children of Park Lane Primary School, Wembley The Remarkable Earth Making Machine (Trunk) Nahash Flowers Of The Revolution (SVBKVLT) Cindy Lee Whats Tonight To Eternity (Bandcamp) Insect Ark The Vanishing (Profound Lore) 33EMYBW Arthropods (SVBKVLT) Declan McKenna Zeroes (Tomplicated) Layma Azur Zeii (Bandcamp)

FILM TV Succession ZeroZeroZero Escape at Dannemora 1917 Small Axe : Five films by Steve McQueen Pirhanas Monos The Hater Better Call Saul

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Drew Daniel

Matmos, The Soft Pink Truth

an alphabet of 2020 recordings

Arca “KiCk i” BFTT “Intrusive / Obtrusive” clipping. “Visions of Bodies Being Burned” Duma “Duma” Eilbacher, Max “Metabolist Meter (Foster, Cottin, Caetani and a Fly)” Forbidden Colors “La Yeguada” GILA “Energy Demonstration” HiedraH Club de Baile “Bichote-K Bailable Vol. 2” Ian Power “Maintenance Hums” Jeff Carey “Index[off]” Kassel Jaeger “Meith” Laurie Anderson “Songs From the Bardo” Mukqs “Water Levels” Negativland “The World Will Decide” O’Rourke, Jim “Shutting Down Here” Perlesvaus “These Things Below with Those Above” Quicksails “Blue Rise” Rian Treanor “File Under UK Metaplasm” Slikback “///” Terminal Nation “Holocene Extinction” Ulcerate “Stare Into Death and Be Still” Various Artists “HAUS of ALTR” William Tyler “New Vanitas” Xyla “Ways” Y A S H A “Summations” :zoviet-france: “Châsse 2ᵉ”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sarah Lipstate  (Noveller)

With all live performances canceled, this was truly the year of demo videos and home studio recording for me. These are 10 pieces of gear that came out in 2020 that helped keep me feeling creative and inspired during lockdown. In no particular order:

EHX Oceans 12 Dual Stereo Reverb - The Oceans 12 ticks all the boxes for what I’m looking for in a great soundscaping reverb. I used the Shimmer and Reverse algorithms in conjunction a lot when I was composing music for a film score.

Chase Bliss Audio Blooper - While I don’t actually own a Blooper, I had the pleasure of borrowing one from Mike of Baranik Guitars after NAMM this year. He made an incredible Blooper-inspired guitar and I was completely charmed by them both. Chase Bliss always delivers pedals that push me creatively and the Blooper truly hits the mark.

Cooper FX Arcades - I love everything Cooper FX has released to-date so the opportunity to access those sounds in one pedal via plug-in cartridges is just awesome.

SolidGoldFX NU-33 - I was asked to do a demo of this pedal for its release and ended up being really charmed by this box’s approach to lo-fi nostalgia. I’ve used it a lot for film scoring and highly recommend adding it to your collection.

Demedash Effects T-120 DLX V2 - I LOVE a good tape echo and the T-120 Deluxe V2 ranks up there with the best I’ve tried. This pedal made its way to me this Christmas and I look forward to making some beautiful sounds with it in the new year.

Hologram Electronics Microcosm - The Microcosm is one of those pedals where you should fully read the manual before diving in but once you put in that initial effort you’ve got a massively powerful tool on your hands. It does glitch like no other. Definitely worth the homework

Azzam Bells MP019 - I discovered this unique instrument through a post on Reverb’s IG page and immediately looked it up and ordered one. These experimental percussion instruments are hand-made in Italy and they’re as beautiful visually as they are sonically. I used it for bowed cymbal and daxophone sounds on a film score and it was absolutely haunting.

Echopark Dual Harmonic Boost 2 - I love the control you have over dialing in the perfect amount of grit with these dual boost circuits. I use it a lot as a textural tool when I’m laying down drones or bringing in big distorted swells. It’s one of the most versatile overdrives in my collection and I love that.

Fender Parallel Universe Series Volume II Maverick Dorado - I was smitten with the Maverick Dorado when I first saw it at NAMM. It has a lot of the specs that I look for in a guitar and the body shape with the Mystic Pine finish just blew me away. I hope that I get to use it live soon.

Polyeffects Beebo - The Beebo is one of those pedals that I genuinely feel is smarter than I am. It’s like an entire computer in one small touchscreen box. I can’t claim to have mastered using it yet but the sounds that I have managed to get out of it so far have been brilliant. I’m looking forward to spending more time with this box in 2021

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

HELM 2020 REVIEW

Let's get the bad stuff out the way first, 2020 was undoubtedly an awful year. I'm still not sure how to really respond to seeing a global pandemic bring the capital to its knees and everything I love and hold dear to a grinding halt. Our government fucked it's response, putting profit before people and killing tens of thousands. The Labour Party descended into farce with the newly elected leader Sir Keith revealing himself as a bland centrist with no opposition or ideas. On a personal level it sucked not being able to travel or see my friends in different parts of the world - or even the same country - who I am starting to miss a lot. However, I was fortunate enough to get through the year with my sanity intact. Music, art and culture once again being my main positive. I think I listened to more music than I have in any year ever. I read more books than I have done since I was a teenager probably. I also re-discovered the joys of walking long distances and am extremely thankful for living near a lot of incredible green spaces: Epping Forest, Walthamstow Wetlands, Walthamstow Marshes, Wanstead Park, Wanstead Flats...

Music. My favourite albums of the year.

Oranssi Pazuzu - Mestarin kynsi Wetware - Flail Raspberry Bulbs - Before The Age Of Mirrors Necrot - Mortal Rope Sect - The Great Flood Private World - Aleph Oneohtrix Point Never - Magic Oneohtrix Point Never Pyrrhon - Abcess Time CS+Kreme - Snoopy Speaker Music - Black Nationalist Sonic Weaponry Drew McDowall - Agalma Regis - Hidden In This Is The Light That You Miss Nazar - Guerilla Zoviet France - Russian Heterodoxical Songs (and all the ZF reissues!!) Triple Negative - God Bless the Death Drive Permission - Organised People Suffer Actress - Karma & Desire Acolytes - Stress II The Gerogerigegege - >(decrescendo) Chubby & The Gang - Speed Kills Flora Yin-Wong - Holy Palm Eiko Ishibashi - Hyakki Yagyo The The - See Without Being Seen Prurient - Casablanca Flamethrower Henning Christiansen - L’essere Umano Errabando La Voce Errabando Subdued - Over The Hills And Far Away Rian Treanor - File Under UK Metaplasm Komare - The Sense Of Hearing Shredded Nerve - Acts Of Betrayal Jesu - Terminus Autechre - SIGN Hey Colossus - Dances / Curses Sparkle Division - To Feel Embraced Mark Harwood - A Perfect Punctual Paradise Under My Own Name Still House Plants - Fast Edit The Bug & Dis Fig - In Blue Kommand - Terrorscape Haus Arafna - Asche Khthoniik Cerviiks - Æequiizoiikum Worm - Gloomlord Kraus - A Golden Brain Faceless Burial - Speciation

A shout-out to Jon Abby's AMPLIFY series on Bandcamp / Facebook, which I contributed a new piece of music to.

A shout out to the labels where most of the music I listened to seemed to come from:

The Trilogy Tapes Iron Bonehead Penultimate Press Dais La Vida Es Un Mus

Gigs. Despite live music being destroyed in 2020 I still saw a few unforgettable performances at the beginning of the year.

Graham Lambkin @ The ICA, London Puce Mary / JFK @ The Glove That Fits, London Demilich @ Finnfest, The Garage, London Container / PC World / National Unrest @ Venue MOT, London S.H.I.T / Asid / Chubby & The Gang @ Static Shock Festival, ExFed, London

Books I enjoyed. Most not published this year, but all read in 2020.

Joe Kennedy - Authentocrats David Balzer - Curationism Tom Mills - BBC: The Myth Of A Public Service Simon Morris - Consumer Guide: Special Edition Luke Turner - Out Of The Woods Various - Bad News For Labour Mike Wendling - Alt-Right Baited Area issues 1 & 2.

Film. Three good films I saw this year which I hadn't before.

Suspiria (Remake) Midsommar Cannibal Holocaust

Podcasts. I listened to a lot of these whilst walking.

We Don't Talk About The Weather Novara Media Tysky Sour & Novara FM Grounded with Louis Theroux System of Systems Red Scare loveline episodes Suite 212 NOISEXTRA Social Discipline CONTAIN

TV.

Didn't watch a huge amount and what I did was mostly trash. For some reason I rewatched both series' of This Life, a British drama from the late 90's about a group of young professionals house sharing and navigating their careers. Very cringey and has aged terribly, but it was perversely fascinating to revisit something from that time in the age of the pandemic. Following on from this I binge watched the entire series of Industry which was entertaining enough. A programme about a bunch of horny bankers with what felt like a confused ideology behind it. It seemed stuck between trying to criticise and glorify the culture around the industry, but also protect the industry itself from outside criticism by portraying anyone who may oppose as an insufferable wanker. Currently halfway through Succession which is OK. The Murdoch documentaries on the BBC were excellent and a rare respite from their descent into client journalism.

Thanks to anyone who listened to my music this year also. Best wishes to you all for 2021.

Luke Younger

http://hhelmm.com | http://alter.bandcamp.com

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Elliott Sharp

composer

1. My Nr. 1 lesson: patience. Whether it's bouncing through 30 seconds of severe turbulence at 39000 feet or slogging through 30 minutes of a interminable piece of concert music, one attribute I've tried to develop is the ability to see past the discrete and awaited ending, the exact framing of the immediate process, but put it into the context of a larger time frame. I've found that this year more than all others has demanded it. Breathing helps...

2. Books: revisiting old favorites from the realm of Thomas Pynchon and Philip K. Dick (both especially relevant), digging into John Lomax's portrait of Jelly Roll Morton, the works of Colson Whitehead, random things off of the shelf…

3. Composing: with touring off the table, I focused on that which needed to be written, some requested and commissioned, some spontaneously springing forth. Composing requires that one open the windows wide to the world, which at this moment brought in grief, terror, uncertainty, anxiety, visions of plague and pestilence and incipient fascism. Okay, now shut the window and get to work! How to process, translate, transform? The work can be a comfortable and obsessive cocoon once one learns to handle the radioactive materials and put them into the creativity reactor.

4. Beans! We have long been a fan in our house of the wide world of legumes but this year brought two stars to the front: the black bean and the red lentil. The black bean commands the lofty peaks but the seemingly infinite variations of dal surround it. Ginger, garlic, turmeric, smoked paprika, cayenne, onions, and olive oil form the basis then imagination builds.

5. Online teaching substituted for my canceled conduction of workshops in the Pyrenees Mountains of France. Between the participants and myself, we built a temporary but very congenial space online to share concepts and music. In addition, private lessons brought conversation and music with new friends in Germany, Italy, California, Australia, Illinois, Denmark, Pennsylvania, Spain, Florida, Brazil.

6. What started out as "stress baking" (before I even had heard of the term) soon became a frequent practice that yielded very edible results. The twins preferred the sweeter forays into banana bread and chocolate cake. I tried to find a balance between tried-and-true techniques and experiments in texture and taste with yeasted pumpernickels, multi-grains, and seed breads.

7. While not the same as performing 'live ', online gigs proved that it was possible to generate a surprising amount of adrenaline even without the pheromonal handshaking of a room filled with receptive ears. As a corollary, online recording collaborations with friends worldwide proved to be inspiring and a suitable substrate for sonic experimentation, exploration of new instruments, tunings, effects programming, structures. In these realms, shout-outs to Helene Breschand, Mike Cooper, Henry Kaiser, Tracie Morris, Mikel Banks, Dougie Bowne, Payton McDonald, Billy Martin, Colin Stetson, Jim O'Rourke, Scott Amendola, Roberto Zorzi, Jason Hoopes, Eric Mingus, Melanie Dyer, Dave Hofstra, Don McKenzie, Sergio Sorrentino, Veniero Rizzardi, Taylor Ho Bynum, Scott Fields, Bachir Attar, Karl Bruckmaier, Robbie Lee, Matthew Evan Taylor, Matteo Liberatore, Al Kaatz, David Barratt, Jessica Hallock, Kolin Zeinikov, Robbie Lee, Jeremy Nesse, James Ilgenfritz, Sergio Armaroli, Steve Piccolo, Sandy Ewen, David Weinstein, Jim Whittemore, Chris Vine, Werner Puntigam, William Schimmel.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Daniel O’Sullivan

(Grumbling Fur, Guapo, Miasma & the Carousel of Headless Horses, Ulver, Sunn O))), Æthenor, Laniakea, Miracle, Mothlite, and This Is Not This Heat.)

Music Richard Youngs - Ein Klein Nein Alabaster DePlume - Instrumentals Hildegard von Bingen - O Nobilissima Viriditas Francisco de Penalosa - Missa Ave Maria Peregrina Carlo Gesualdo - Responsoria 1611 Dirty Projectors - Five EPs Sonic Boom - All Things Being Equal Brother Peter Broderick - Blackberry Richard Horowitz - Eros Of Arabia Duncan Trussell Family Hour Cocteau Twins in the bath

Books/comics Alexander Tucker - Entity Reunion II Derek Jarman - Chroma Stephen Harrod Buhner - Plant Intelligence and the Imaginal Realm The Penguin Book Of Irish Poetry - edited by Patrick Crotty The Gospel Of Ramakrishna - translated by Swami Nikhilananda Lucretius - De Rerum Natura Plotinus - Enneads Ram Dass - Grist For The Mill Lisa Brown - Phantom Twin

Other Fasting / meditation / macrodosing Walks in freshly coppiced woodland (for the smell mainly). Plants / Foraging / Growing Traditional ferments Douglas Sirk movies Mandolorian Writing songs on the piano Rediscovery of Kenneth Graham via my kids

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Karl O’Connor (Regis)

01.Wolfgang Press - Unremembered, Remembered 02. Klara Lewis - Ingrid Live at Fylkingen 03. Jesu - Terminus 04. Dave Ball - Leeds Poly Demos 1979 05. Edwin Pouncey - Rated Sav X (the Savage Pencil Skratchbook) 06. The Bug - In Blue 07. New Order - Power,Corruption and Lies ( Writing Sessions  ) 08. JG Thirlwell and Simon Steensland - Oscillospira 09. FM Einheit and Andreas Ammer - Hammerschlag 10. Thurston Moore - By The Fire 11. Body Stuff - Body Stuff 3 12. Ann M Hogan - Honeysuckle Burials 13. Rob Halford - Confess (Autobiography)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Caleb Braaten (Sacred Bones Records)

Shirley Collins Hearts Ease Dehd Flowers Of Devotion Duma Duma Bob Dylan Rough and Rowdy Ways Green-House Six Songs for Invisible Gardens John Jeffery Passage Drew McDowall Agalma Sweeping Promises Hunger For a Way Out Colter Wall Western Swing & Waltzes and Other Punchy Songs Woods Strange to Explain

My Favorite 90’s Nostalgia Movie Rewatches

Colors Ghost Dog Menace II Society The Player Rounders Safe Starship Troopers Trees Lounge Vampires Waiting For Guffman

Most Culturally Bankrupt Year : 1997

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Charlie Looker

(composer, Psalm Zero, Extra Life, Seaven Teares)

Ten Things That Didn’t Happen in 2020

1.  I didn’t write a ton of new music. Don’t get me wrong, I wrote some. I always do. But mostly I focused on my new YouTube channel, essays, and on getting old recordings released. I haven’t even been working a day-job so I thought I was going to write my next Ring Cycle, but I really didn’t find Covid inspiring.

2.  Trump wasn’t re-elected. Cool.

3. I didn’t lose anyone to Covid. I am, of course, profoundly grateful for this. But I feel pretty embarrassed remembering group-texting ten friends in March, “We are all going to see a loved one die. Every single one of us. Don’t kid yourselves”. I can get hysterical, and that was somewhat irresponsible of me.

4.  No revolution happened. I don’t mean to be smug or cynical, or to belittle anyone’s participation in the protests. But, as far as I can tell, nothing happened in 2020 that promises to reduce police brutality or human suffering of any kind. We’ll see. That burning Minneapolis police station was exciting to watch at the time, if only on an aesthetic level.

5.  I have a stack of unread books I bought this year, just staring at me, with nary a crease among them. These include:

Adorno and Horkheimer, The Dialectic of Enlightenment (looks amazing, but I haven’t touched it) Marx, Grundrisse (it’s 1000 pages for fuck’s sake. Amazon also accidentally sent me two copies, and its double presence in the stack is just comical) Reza Negarestani, Intelligence and Spirit (the first 15 pages blew my mind, then my mind blew it off)

6.  I didn’t settle into living in LA. I moved here six months before Covid and I was just starting to cultivate some friendships and play shows. This was quashed and I still feel like I still live in New York. I still barely know the layout of the city here.

7.  No brand-new buzzy musical artists burst onto the scene, that I can recall. No new hyped micro-genre of the moment. There was just no way for there to be a hot new trend. I’d say that was refreshing, but it wasn’t.

8.  Tyson’s return was not awesome. Two minute rounds, ended in a draw. I’ve been getting way into boxing this past year. This fight was a bummer. I’m looking forward to Mayweather vs Logan Paul (LOL) because we know it’s comedy ahead of time.

9.  For three weeks in July, I didn’t do a single thing other than watch street fight compilations on YouTube and Worldstar. That’s just grim.

10.  There were no school shootings in March. Apparently, this was the first March with no school shootings since 2002. Not a single 7th grader got a hand job in March either. I cannot begin to imagine what it’s like to be a kid now.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Chuck Bettis

https://chuckbettis.com

Other People's Music released this year:

Coil "Musick to Play in the Dark" (Dais)

Duma "s/t" (Nyege Nyege Tapes) Twig Harper "External Boundless Prison/ in 4 parts EP" (self-release) I.P.Y. (Ikue Mori, Phew, YoshimiO) "I.P.Y." (Tzadik) Kill Alters "A2B2 Live Stream 11/13/2020" (self-release) Krallice "Mass Cathexis" (self-release) Lust$ickPuppy "Cosmic Brownie" (self-release) Doug McKechnie "San Francisco Moog: 1968-72" (VG+ Records) Merlin Nova "Boo!" (self-release) Omrb "Milandthriust, The Graths of Mersh" (self-release) Akio Suzuki & Aki Onda "gi n ga" (self-release) Yoth Iria "Under His Sway" (Repulsive Echo) Wetware "Flail" (Dais)

My own music released this year:

collaborations

Chatter Blip "Microcosmopolitan" (Contour Editions) Matmos "The Consuming Flame: Open Exercises in Group Form" (Thrill Jockey) Reverse Bullets  "Dreampop Dsyphoria" (self-release) Snake Union "live at Roulette" (self-release) Snake Union w/ Hisham Bharoocha, Bonnie Jones, Heejin Jang, Matthew Regula "Three Arrows" (Rat Route) Thomas Dimuzio "Balance" (Gench Music) YoshimiO & Chuck Bettis  "Live at the Stone" (Living Myth)

solo Chuck Bettis "Arc of Enlghtenment"  (Living Myth) Chuck Bettis "Motion Parallax"  (Living Myth)

compilation Various Artist "Polished Turds Vol.1" (Granpa)

Music Books read this year

"Intermediary Spaces" by Eliane Radigue/Julia Eckhardt (Umland) "Ennio Morricone In His Own Words" by Ennio Morricone/Alessandro De Rosa (Oxford University Press) "Free Jazz In Japan: A Personal History" by Soejima Teruto (Public Bath Press) "Rumors of Noizu: Hijokaidan and the Road to 2nd Damascus" by Kato David Hopkins (Public Bath Press)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Maya Hardinge

(musician / artist)

list of things i liked this year

first ever solo road trip through new mexico and Texas right before lockdown experiencing manhattan with no cars on the road . having a car to escape in to nature. (which i craved so much) walks and bike rides with friends… FRIENDS! The web site ‘workaway’ that helped me feel that there were options for escape. playing games weekly on zoom during lock down teaching yoga weekly on zoom. Witnessing and being part of the BLM protests. witnessing and being part of the demise of T sitting on my couch at 6am drinking a cup of tea, appreciating my apt. making time to meditate. halloween without tourists .

some music I’ve bought and/or enjoyed this year Elvis Perkins-Black Coat Daughter Patricia Kokett -Soi soi Henning Christiansen - OP201 Bryce Hackford- Safe Svitlana Nianio and Oleksander - Snayesh yak? rozkazhy Brannten schnure - Sommer im Pfirsichhain Killing Joke - Nighttime David Shea - Tower of mirrors Shakey - Shakey Woodford halse tapes Coil - Musick to play in the dark

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

BJ Nilsen

sound artist / composer

Work 2020

Despite Covid 19 lots of things actually did happen.

In Feburary I visited the only active nuclear plant in The Nederlands as part of my "Expanded Field Recording” project together with SML. In March revisited the Acousmonium at the Elevate Festival in Graz with an additional trip deep inside the Schlossberg recording old mining trains. In March and April I did two daily recording projects “Pending and Auditory Scenes” - both of Amsterdam during lockdown. In May did my first Zoom field recording workshop with the CAMP project. In June & July  two research trips in Waldviertel, Austria with Franz Pomassl. In August recorded bells and organs in 10 different churches around Amsterdam for Jacob Lekkerkerker. In September recorded Kali Malone at the Orgelpark in Amsterdam. Performed at Heart of Noise Festival in Innsbruck and A4 in Bratislava. Also went ice-skating for first time in 20? Years. In November and December I travelled to Jeju island to record field recordings for a project by Femke Herregraven for the Gwangju Biennale, commissioned for 2021. Did lots of gardening, released two tapes “Call it Philips, Eindoven” and “Zomer 2020” with Sigtryggur Berg Sigmarsson. NOW! Looking forward to 2021.

http://bjnilsen.info https://soundcloud.com/bjnilsen/sets/auditory-scenes-amsterdam

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Vicki Bennett

(People Like Us)

Negativland - True False https://negativland.com/products/truefalse-cd (this came out last year but is so THIS year) Bob Dylan - Rough and Rowdy Ways https://www.bobdylan.com/albums/rough-and-rowdy-ways/ The Soft Pink Truth - We from Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase https://thesoftpinktruth.bandcamp.com/album/shall-we-go-on-sinning-so-that-grace-may-increase Carl Stone - Stolen Car https://unseenworlds.bandcamp.com/album/stolen-car Porest - Sedimental Gurney https://porest.bandcamp.com/album/sedimental-gurney Matmos - The Consuming Flame: Open Exercises in Group Form https://matmos.bandcamp.com/album/the-consuming-flame-open-exercises-in-group-form Domenique Dumont - Miniatures De Auto Rhythm https://antinoterecordings.bandcamp.com/album/atn044-domenique-dumont-miniatures-de-auto-rhythm The The - See Without Being Seen https://www.thethe.com/product/see-without-being-seen-cd/ Ciggy de la Noche - Hold Tight HMRC https://soundcloud.com/ciggydelanoche/hold-tight-hmrc Neil Cicierega - Mouth Dreams http://www.neilcic.com/mouthdreams/

and my details: http://peoplelikeus.org/ https://peoplelikeus-vickibennett.bandcamp.com/ pic: http://peoplelikeus.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Welcome-Abroad-promo3-2-scaled.jpg

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

DJ Food

Music - Type 303 - Sticky Disco / Analogue Acidbath 7" (45 Live) The British Space Group - The Ley of the Land CD (Wyrd Britain) Squarepusher - Be Up A Hello LP / Warp 10 NTS mix (Warp) dgoHn - Undesignated Proximate (Modern Love) LF58 - Alterazione LP (Astral Industries) Robert Fripp - Music For Quiet Moments series (DGM) Run The Jewels - RTJ4 (BMG) Simf Onyx - Magenta Skyline / The Unresolved 7" (Delights) Luke Vibert - Modern Rave LP (Hypercolour) JG Thirlwell & Simon Steensland - Oscillospira (Ipecac) Aural Design - Looking & Seeing 7" / DL (Russian Library) Luke Vibert - Rave Hop (Hypercolour) Clipping. with Christopher Fleeger - Double Live (Sub Pop) APAT - Terry Riley's 'In C' performed on Modular Synthesizer (YouTube) Field Lines Cartographer - The Spectral Isle LP (Castles In Space) Jane Weaver - The Revolution of Super Visions single (Fire Records) King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - K.G. LP (Flightless) Humanoid - Hed-Set - forthcoming on (De:tuned)

Film / TV - Inside No.9 (BBC) What We Do In The Shadows Season 2 (Netflix) Tales From The Loop (Amazon) Keith Haring - Street Art Boy (BBC) John Was Trying To Contact Aliens (Netflix) The Social Dilemma (Netflix) The Mandalorian (Season 2) (Disney+) Long Hot Summers - The Style Council documentary (Sky Arts) Zappa (Alex Winter)

Books / Comics / Magazines Confessions of a Bookseller - Shaun Bythell (Profile books) The Often Wrong - Farel Dalrymple (Image Comics) Edwin Pouncey - Rated SavX (Strange Attractor Press) Jeffrey Lewis - Fuff (all issues - really late to the party on this one) Rian Hughes - XX - A Novel, Graphic (Picador) Cosey Fanni Tutti - Art, Sex, Music (Faber) Caza - Kris Kool (Passenger Press) Dan Lish - Egostrip Vol.1 Electronic Sound magazine Decorum - Jonathan Hickman & Mike Huddleston (Image) John Higgs - Stranger Than We Can Imagine Simon Halfon - Cover To Cover (Nemperor)

Very few exhibitions or shows this year for obvious reasons

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[sassycassie-s-writing]

I Want One

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): DC, BatFam - Dick Grayson/Nightwing, Jason Todd/Red Hood, feat. Tim Drake/Red Robin

Rating: PG

Original Idea: I saw a chat post from Tumblr on Pinterest whose dialogue is in the story.

Notes: (Masterlist)(By Character)(About Me) This one was so much fun for me to write!

^^^^^

“Hey B?” Dick asked when Bruce answered the call. “Can a friend and I come over from Bludhaven to use the bat-computer in the next couple days? We just need it to run a tracking program that neither of our computers have the processor for.”

“Of course. You know you can, Dick,” Bruce replied.

“Great. Thanks Bruce. But, uh, before you hang up, uh, the friend is a girl. We’re literally just friends—she’s also a few years younger than me so I’d feel a little uncomfortable dating her. Can you tell Jason, Tim, Damian, and them that before we get there? I don’t want to make her feel awkward by getting teased.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Bruce said.

“Thanks Dad. See you in a couple days.”

“See you soon, son.”

^^^^^

“Before we go into the Batcave, I have to warn you,” Nightwing began. I shuffled in my seat. “My family can be a little… intense.”

“Dude,” I said, “your family is the BatFam. I’d expect nothing less. ‘Sides, I can handle them.”

“Don’t underestimate them,” Nightwing warned.

“I won’t,” I said.

Nightwing drove the rest of the way into the hidden Batcave. We climbed out of his car. The lights flickered on. I stared around in wonder.

“Whoa! This is so cool!”

“Thank you,” a deep, modified voice commented.

I whirled to see Batman himself lurking just outside the reach of one of the lights, in full costume. There was the ghost of a smile playing on the edges of his shadowed lips.

“Welcome to the Batcave,” he said.

“Thank you, sir.” I crossed over to him and stuck out my hand. “I’m Star Beam.”

A powerful gloved grip grabbed my hand and shook it. “Batman,” he replied.

“Yeah, I kinda put that together,” I said, voice going a little squeaky.

“B, you’re freaking her out,” Nightwing said, plopping down at a computer that was bigger than my bedroom.

“Apologies,” Batman said. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, no. It’s fine—you didn’t scare me. I just didn’t think you’d… be here.”

“Well, I make a point to meet my sons’ friends. Just to make sure they’re all hanging out with decent people.”

“… Right.”

“Miss Star Beam, if I can borrow you for a moment, please,” Nightwing said from the computer. Batman nodded towards his son, indicating I should go over there. I nodded to him in gratitude and went over to stand behind Nightwing. “So. Now you’ve met Batman.”

I nodded. “Yup,” I squeaked.

“You a little intimidated?”

“A little,” I admitted.

Nightwing chuckled and plugged his flash drive into the computer to run the tracking program. “Don’t be too intimidated. As long as you fight for the side of justice you’ll never have anything to fear from him,” Nightwing joked. I smirked slightly.

“Good to know,” I said.

As we watched the tracking program do its work, I perched on the arm of the high-backed desk chair and peered at the dozen or so screens in front of me as they all filled with information. Nightwing watched it with placid passiveness but I leaned back, overwhelmed by how much was happening.

Suddenly a thunderous engine roared into the cave. The man on top of it wore a black super suit with a red bat symbol on the chest, combat boots, a brown leather jacket, and a red helmet. I tilted my head down and looked at the newcomer with raised eyebrows.

“I want one,” I said to Nightwing.

He smirked. "The man or the bike?" Nightwing asked.

I smirked back. "Yes."

Nightwing chuckled as the newcomer (who I recognized as Red Hood) killed the engine and swung his leg off. "'Sup, Dick?" he asked, pulling his Red Hood helmet off to reveal black hair and a red mask. "Who's the girl?"

“Dude! Secret identity!” Nightwing protested, gesturing to his mask.

Red Hood put up his hands in surrender, helmet getting tucked under one arm. “Sorry man. I assumed she knew since you kinda suck at keeping secrets.”

“What are you talking about? I’m great at keeping secrets!” Nightwing protested. “I haven’t told anyone you’re still alive.”

“Fair point. So, who’s the girl, again?”

"Red Hood this is Star Beam. Star Beam, this is my brother Red Hood," Nightwing introduced, not looking up from the computer.

Red Hood gave me a once over. "Pleasure to meet you," he said.

"Likewise," I said. We shook hands.

“So, are you Nightwing’s girlfriend? Everyone here knows he could use some action since his last breakup,” Red Hood said. Nightwing’s grip tightened on the computer mouse but he didn’t say anything, letting me handle it.

“No,” I answered placidly, keeping my temper in check. “Just a friend.”

“You’re literally sitting on the arm of his chair.”

“Oh yeah because that is so indicative of a romantic connection,” I said sarcastically. Red Hood actually smirked. “I’m sitting on the arm of his chair, nitwit, because we’re working on a case in Bludhaven together and needed this computer and I don’t see another chair down there and thought standing was a little too annoying.” Red Hood’s smirk grew wider when I called him a nitwit.

"So what're you doing here, little wing?" Nightwing asked, still not looking up from the computer. "Man I really need Red Robin for this…"

Red Hood plopped down in the other desk chair that I previously hadn’t noticed since it was in the shadows, spinning it around and sending it sliding across the tile floor. He shrugged. "Just wanted to stop by and use the computer," he said. "But you're obviously using it."

"We can be done quick if you can get Red to return my calls," Nightwing remarked. "Then he can run an algorithm that’ll pick up on the clues we’re looking for so we don't have to watch."

Red Hood pulled out his phone, yanked off a riding glove, and dialed a number. "Hey, Replacement. Get your…” He glanced at me giving him a raised eyebrow. “… butt down to the cave and help out Nightwing so I can use the computer," he said after a few moments in which no one answered. He hung up. "Expect him in five minutes," Red Hood said. I raised an eyebrow.

"Replacement?" I quoted, confused.

"Yeah. I was Robin. Then I died. Red Robin replaced me as the next Robin. Then became Red Robin."

“Yummmmm!” Nightwing sang under his breath. I snickered.

Red Hood kicked his feet up on the desk.

“Boots. Off. Now,” Nightwing ordered without looking away from the dozen or so screens.

“Fun sucker,” Red Hood accused.

“It’s impolite, Hood. And we have a guest.”

“Another vigilante by the looks of her. You don’t mind if I put my feet on the desk, do you?” he asked me.

“It’s considered bad manners,” I said without answering directly.

“Hood, get your feet off my desk,” Batman called from somewhere in the cave.

Red Hood rolled his eyes with an exaggerated sigh and set his feet back on the ground. “You guys are all so proper and boring,” he complained.

“Better than Red getting down here and flipping his lid because you’re contaminating his precious computer,” Nightwing pointed out.

“Mm,” Red Hood grunted. He got off the second desk chair and strolled off over to an elevator, getting in it and leaving momentarily.

“You didn’t tell me your brother is hot,” I said to Nightwing.

Who shrugged. “Didn’t know what kind of person was your type so I didn’t think it was relevant,” he said.

I whacked him in the chest. “Nightwing! You and he look rather similar and you’re a handsome dude. You could have told me that!”

“We’re adopted. All of us. Well, not current Robin but—”

Ding! The elevator opened to Red Robin.

“Hey! Wassup, Dick? Jason said you needed a hand on—”

“Red! Do the words ‘secret identity’ mean anything to you? They certainly didn’t to Hood!”

“Ohhh! Sorry bro. I didn’t know we had a guest! J—Hood didn’t mention anything about a guest in his voicemail. My bad.”

Nightwing sighed. “It’s okay, I guess. What’s the harm of knowing first names, right? It’s not like I’m the only with that name in the world. Or even in Gotham or Bludhaven.” He suddenly looked several years older than he was, like his brothers drove him crazy but he still loved them with all his heart.

“Red Robin. Nice to meet you.”

I stood to shake his hand. “Star Beam. Likewise.”

“Right. Let me help. What are you up to?”

“We need you to run the algorithm that searches for certain parameters in this tracking program.”

“No problem. Move.” Red Robin pushed Nightwing’s chair away from the desk and pulled the one Red Hood had been sitting in up to the middle of the desk. “Okay…”

The elevator dinged again and Red Hood stepped back out, now holding a sandwich. “What’d I miss?” he asked.

“Nothing. Red is as bad with code names as you are and is now running the algorithm we need.”

“Hmm,” Red Hood, grunted. “Hey Star Beam, how did you meet this idiot?” He nodded to Nightwing.

I shrugged. “Luck, I guess,” I said. “Right place right time. Or wrong place wrong time.”

“Yeah… we beat up some muggers and both got knocked to the ground at the same moment and bonked heads,” Nightwing said. “But we won!” I nodded.

“So what’s your tragic backstory, Star Beam?” Red Hood asked.

“Who says every vigilante-slash-superhero has to have a tragic backstory?” I challenged.

Red Hood shrugged. “Me. Based on experience.”

“Mm,” I grunted. “I don’t really have a tragic backstory. And even if I did, you’d have be reach Friend Level Four to unlock it.”

“Nerd,” Red Hood said.

“Look who’s talking, Mr. Read Every Jane Austen Novel,” Nightwing said, spinning around in the desk chair.

“Shut up, Nightwing.”

“Hey Star Beam? Nightwing? I think I found what you were looking for,” Red Robin said.

“Mm. Guess my plan to ask Star Beam out to dinner will have to wait then,” Red Hood deadpanned.

Nightwing and I both spun away from the computer monitors to look at him. “What?” we both asked.

“What? Your face is pretty even with your mask on, so I might as well,” Red Hood said. “Life is short and I’ve already died once so might as well embrace impulses to do whatever.”

“Ttthhhanks?” I muttered. “Sure I’ll go to dinner with you sometime.”

“Pick you up in Bludhaven?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Red Robin made a gagging noise and Nightwing rolled his eyes. “Of course this would happen. This is why I never bring friends over! Because you just flirt with them!”

Red Hood shrugged. “Impulsive, remember?”

[fictionaljournalofbbwomans-blog]

05.03.4040

J’VOUDRAI BIEN VOUS Y VOIR (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8arj5hJ7do)

BB Womans’ day went down pretty harmoniously, her and Luxus levitated through Berlin in the sunshine, soundtracked by Lee Gamble’s NTS old 2019’s shows. Trying to give way to her previous obsessions, not to get smashed in the one the Masters lock her in. 

Carrying CVs and a little cash, she’s out to try and find work! she has long pushed this idea away, as she feels getting brain sucked to understand how to properly read minds should set her up for a life salary, but it looks like this big rich thieves or professors aren’t considering to pay her for all these stollen years, cells and advertisement ideas, for all these unpaid porn acting hours or for using the result of their undercover study to lock the rest of the population in new social media algorithms. She will probably never get what she deserves and it fucks her off big time! But what ever she’ll try and make some cash money. Lets see what happens, Ideally she would love to do building work but does not know where to actually look or if they will hire a woman to break walls down, but she will try, the easiest and fastest being getting behind a coffee machine she will start by that… At least try. 

While riding smoothly up and down the city, loosing her stack of cv and meeting a couple of old friends on her way, she warms up with the idea that life is not so bad, and maybe she could do it… Maybe she can even do it under constant harassment, their voices are slowly becoming some background noise, like when you have building work going on next door all day, you end up forgetting about it if it’s not too loud and always the same thing. If this has to happen, her discipline needs to be up up UP, she needs to keep on writing everyday, work, work, work, make art, make music, get her Radio project out and not drop a second for this Bastards to breath! 

She gets 2 application down and rides back from wedding, wondering what she need to write for her second entry of the day, as she decided to go up in numbers, since it is obviously helping her rid of a lot of the harassment. For example the other day she wrote about not being able to download Catalina… Surprise, the next day she could, “Ha ha ha HAAAAA”. Further more since she wrote about being remotely raped, insulted and mocked about her desires and fantasy, it has also stopped, the only thing that is absolutely #not ok that remains is the body shaming and the harassment of her food disorder, lets see maybe todays entry will do it! Who knows… The same happens with taking screenshots and snaps of hack and bugs on her device, once it is documented it stops happening… The other day her phone would not pick up on network, she only had to go in the phone shop and show her phone to a member of the staff for it to start working! If you don’t call that magic… what do you call it? Psychic… Electronic??? Now doesn’t it seem strange they are not dropping the voice to skull… since it’s written and everybody knows…? Isn’t strange her BB twin bro, 33 Fam husband isn’t allowed to be by her side? Isn’t strange she still has the feeling her thoughts and actions are still shared out in bias ways that do not come close to whom she is or what she has to say and how. Where do you think they expect this is going? 

BB Womans is puzzled by different attitude to adopt while going out from her flat. she THINKS: “I should look well, I should smile, I should do everything possible for people to see I am holding up, not worry or feel any urge to call the cops or the firepeople on me… But then, what the fuuuck! Do I have to put on a smile for being harassed? Or does this just make it look ok to be sexually assaulted and shamed… Like don’t worry people, do not take that in the cosy conforts of your home, I am handling it fine on my own… I LIKE it even??? Don’t ask me… Ask yourselves… Would you?”. At this stage of the story there are something BB Womans wants to make clear, she wants to write a fiction to protect herself, and some of this fact are romanticised, but she also want her reader to be fully aware of what is picked out from reality and what is reality, so she THINKS she will have to risk her freedom and make it clearer; The harassment, the voice to skull, the gang stalking, the remote limb jarring and sexual harassment could not be LESS fictional than a dog taking a dump in the middle of Neukölln and their owner not picking it up. 

Getting closer to home her head storms up with images of scenes she lived for years and recently… People passing by anywhere; in the street, in clubs in shops and adopting 2 major attitudes, one of them is laughing, the other staring in a disappointed way. She feels the need to ask people to try and enter 2 simple thinking patterns to maybe get closer to understanding her and her everyday life and put themselves for even just a few minutes in her shoes.  

First pattern would be to imagine you have had to endure such treatment for years, and when to harassing isn’t present you feel yourself surveilled and permanently performing, people come to you out of nowhere to tell you very weird stuffs, aggressive or not but definitely increasing your self-awareness and weariness. How would you hold yourself in public? Would you maybe, like her, put your head down, squint your eyes like a witch at every being passing by, where a cap to hide your face and risk to look angry and mean? Do you know BB Womans? Have you talked to her ever? Do you know her friends? Do you feel like laughing at them? Do you trust their judgement? Would you want to arm or bully them? Could that apply to her? 

What are your sources on who she is, what she says and what she thinks? How do you read the news? Do you swallow everything that is written and said out in the medias? Do you know who is diffusing the infos? Are you aware of how easy it is to manipulate words to manipulate you?

The second pattern is this one; Now imagine that a group of people is paid to sit confortable behind some high tech machinery and remotely read your thought while bullying you using chatter voices from your family, in her case; Her brother, sister and mother. Now dive deep into your inner self and find this thought about yourself you battle everyday to forget about. the reason why you put make up on, the reason why you wear certain clothes, the weird limb twitch you developed along your existence because you can not cope with certain things, the awkward positions you find yourself in when confronted with that self of yours you can not stand, the reason why you tell certain lies, the things you repeat over and over to make yourself sound good, etc… etc… Now imagine that this thing or things, as I am sure it should not be limited to one shame, are constantly reminded to you… How would you feel? 

BB Womans is not here to enact some self promotion, she is who she is, likes who she likes and loves what she loves, she is not perfect and has no wish to become so. She does not want everybody to love her as if that was the case that would mean something is very wrong. She will not compromise herself, her ideas and who she is to please everybody either. She just THINK that there is a certain level of respect and this is in the realm of possible human kindness to adopt regarding her… She takes it all and suffers in silence, try as best as she can to keep a smile on and a nice attitude towards beings she encounters and is tired to meet laughs and screams when painfully going out to the supermarket to fill her fucking fridge… Would you have written that in a kinder way? It does not matter… what matters is yourself! What matters to them is to take her down and keep her silent! What matters to her is to make sure this does not happen to anyone else! Do you believe her? WHO CARES?