#also the interpretation that she’s a creep that makes everyone uncomfortable but this post isn’t explicitly abt that bc it makes me so upset

[girlsonic]

if we all band together we never have to make amy “the mom friend” or “the brain cell” ever again who’s with me. guys . hello ?

[abybweisse]

🧐Hi! I have seen you often talk about Claudia and UT here so this is related. Sorry if my writing's a bit wonky, English isn't my first language.

As far as I know, the only family tree we have been shown was from the notebook of a reaper, so I would assume that specific version of the family tree would not be something that is known to humans, which means that the Cedric K. Ros- is Vincent's and Francis' biological father. (Idk if that makes sense, sorry 😅)

I have seen some of your posts mention how Francis simply doesn't want to be associated with UT and therefore avoids him, which I think mostly suggests that you believe Vincent and Francis knew UT was their father?? Don't wanna assume anything )))

But Claudia wasn't married, if she is a descendant of the Phantomhive family and not someone who was married into the family, she would have probably changed her surname. Which could be a good reason as to why she would hide who the father is from her children, and pretty much everyone. So basically what I'm getting at, I think her relationship with UT (if there was one) was completely secret.

Also based on hiw Francis reacts to UT, she doesn't seem to know him, obviously she is uncomfortable (but really, who isn't?) So either she just doesn't know him as family, or forgot.

Is there anything that you could correct in my thought process?

🤔 to discuss a specific theory

First of all, your English is pretty darn good.

I’d say you are correct that those German reapers are looking at a biological family tree that isn’t dependent upon marriages and is probably not common knowledge.

Yes, I’ve been on the fence about it in the past, but I do now think Frances/Francis knows Undertaker is her biological father, and I think she’s known this for a while, at least.

I agree that Claudia/Cloudia was probably never officially married, though we don’t know for sure. She could have married *someone* and never even had children with him, since that family tree only shows direct biological lineage. That’s why Frances/Francis isn’t showing, despite the canon fact she’s Vincent’s full-sibling. It could be that she never changed her name simply because she had to carry on the Phantomhive name, and it looks like her father was the previous earl of Phantomhive (looks like M— Phantomhive to me). Another reason we don’t know whether she married is because it looks as though only maiden names of women are shown on the family tree — which is quite common for family trees. Her mother’s maiden name appears to be something like Malone. Rachel isn’t shown, simply because she’s cut off the panel, but I expect that it would show her maiden name, not Phantomhive. Therefore, she has three potential reasons to not broadcast the name of her children’s father:

She might have never married. They would automatically be children out of wedlock.

She might have married a man who did not sire her two children, Vincent and Frances. That would also be children born out of wedlock.

Regardless of marriage, the father of her children is a reaper, and there are “people” who would not approve of this.

Her relationship with Cedric would probably have been secret, regardless of exactly who Cedric is, but that doesn’t mean Frances/Francis and Vincent didn’t find out, particularly if it was being kept secret from them and they wanted to know the truth. It’s also possible they went years not knowing, and Undertaker told them himself... after their mother was dead. If Undertaker needed proof, there might be tangible evidence. Least of which would be strong physical similarities between himself and Frances/Francis. These similarities would also be seen between himself and the Midford children, Edward and... to some extent... Lizzie.

You see Frances/Francis as uncomfortable and creeped out by Undertaker because of unfamiliarity and his innate creepiness. I see her as uncomfortable because she is more familiar with him than she wants to be, and she’s trying to hide it from her husband, Alexis, who I’m assuming has no clue. She might also be trying to keep the truth from her nephew, the real Ciel. To me, and to several others in the fandom, she’s terrified that Undertaker is about to do more than reference the fact he recalls her birth. Not simply that time passes differently for him, though that’s also a topic she would rather avoid, but that he was there. He either personally witnessed her birth... or he was waiting in another room at the manor, just like Vincent was waiting in another room while the twins were being delivered. So, I interpret it as: she knows he is family... and she would love to forget. But Undertaker likes to remind her.

Idk that I can exactly correct your thought process here. It’s really a matter of different interpretations of what we are reading/seeing. Seems to me that this is intentional on Yana-san’s part. She wants the readers to question what’s going on... until she’s ready to spell it out for us.

[darkshadow90]

Joker: My thoughts on Arthur Fleck

Hey guys. I’ve made a few posts about Arthur already, but I wanted to make another one. I love the Joker movie. I think Todd Phillips and the writers did a great job at writing an intriguing character that works as part of a Joker story or a possible origin story for the Joker. I think Arthur is an interesting take on the Joker because he’s so different from other interpretations. I think he can be really hard to pin down sometimes. I don’t think Arthur was maliciously evil, at least not at the beginning. I saw a post from @another-day-in-chuckletown talking about Arthur’s morality and I thought it was interesting. So I thought I’d share my thoughts too. But she’s probably better at putting things into words than I am. So anyway here we go with another meta post. Yay!

So in the beginning we can see that Arthur has a lot of issues. He’s dealing with mental illnesses and living in dire poverty. Neither one of those things are easy to live with, but both combined are no doubt a fucking nightmare. He’s trying to get help. He’s doing everything he can. He’s taking his medications and going to therapy. He knows it’s not “normal” to do the things he does. Things like stalking, and, well, killing people. As odd as it might seem to read this from me, but one of the most interesting things I find about Arthur is he seems somewhat childlike and doesn’t understand social cues, but at the same time he’s aware that his behavior in social situations is creepy and weird to other people. So I do think he’s somewhat self aware.

Arthur doesn’t know how to approach people so he just stands there awkwardly or he follows them. And it makes sense because he’s clearly been socially isolated for most of his life. He had no one to teach him proper social skills and boundaries. But I do wonder about his past experiences socializing with others because he’s aware he makes people uncomfortable. I think Arthur is smarter than he lets on. He apologized to Thomas Wayne because he knew he crossed a line. He even said he didn’t mean to cause trouble or make him uncomfortable he just wanted answers. And he also knew when he imagined Sophie coming to his apartment asking if he was following her that she would be creeped out when he said yes. He had a look of guilt when he said “yeah” He knew it wasn’t the best way to go about talking to her. Like I said, I think he’s smarter than he lets on. But even with all his struggles and all the bad things that happened to him, I don’t think he’s particularly a good person.

The only people we see Arthur kill are the people who hurt him or wronged him in some way. We’re not really meant to feel sorry for them because most of them are just assholes. I do feel bad about Penny that one upset me. Regardless of the context, of wether or not she lied to him and allowed abuse to happen or not, it was still upsetting that he killed a helpless person. In general, I don’t like scenes in movies where animals and helpless people are killed. That shit is really upsetting to me. So yeah didn’t like that part. Anyway, it doesn’t make him the well meaning guy we think he is. I actually thought it was pretty fucked up that he was opening up to the clerk in Arkham about what he did. It’s fucked up because he knows what he did was wrong and he’s happy about it. He knows what’s right and wrong.

For most of the movie, Arthur doesn’t hurt random people for no reason. He doesn’t do bad things for the sake of doing bad things. He has a code. He only hurts “awful” people or people who wronged him. I think he would feel bad if he hurt an innocent person. He didn’t hurt Gary and I’m very glad for that, but he felt bad that he scared him so badly. He felt bad that Gary saw him kill someone in such a brutal way. He knew Gary would be even more upset if he saw Randall’s body. So he said, “Don’t  look, just go.”  And then he jumped out and scared him so he wouldn’t look at the body as he was leaving. That scene makes me think Arthur doesn’t like to see innocent people hurt or upset. Up until the end of the movie, I was thinking this take on the Joker was kind of like an anti hero. He only kills bad people.

I find it interesting when Arthur is about to go on the Murray show he tells Murray he doesn’t believe in anything, but then when he confesses to killing the Wall Street guys, he rants about how society treats poor people and mentally ill people like shit, and hold the rich up on a pedestal. He talks about how no one has any empathy for other people, and he’s upset about it, rightfully so. So he clearly does care about and believe in something. Why else would his rant be so passionate? Also, Arthur killing Murray isn’t quite as spontaneous as we think. If you look and listen closely, after Murray tells Arthur not everyone is awful, Arthur says, “You’re awful, Murray.” He literally told Murray he was gonna kill him.

I write different stories about Arthur. I write both fluff pieces and I also write darker pieces where he’s further along his transition into the Joker, and I’ve written a few based on the persona we see in Arkham (I like to call him Arkham Joker because he is the Joker at that point.) My fluff pieces are based on what Arthur would be like if he had someone positively affecting his life and he was getting the help he needed and didn’t become the Joker. My darker pieces focus on the darker aspects of his personality and the persona in Arkham because I like to explore those aspects of his character. I feel really bad for Arthur. I want to believe that if he had just one person aside from Gary who cared about him in his life he would be the person he was in the beginning, but unfortunately he isn’t that person anymore. I feel bad for him, but I hate what he does.

Now, I’ve talked about the persona we see in Arkham and the end of the movie a bunch of times. That scene fucks with me every time I see it. I love it because it’s pure Joker, and it’s probably the best Joker moment in the whole movie. It makes my anxiety skyrocket, too. @another-day-in-chuckletown touched on it in her post. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who noticed the sudden change in his personality. It was jarring to see Arthur like that. He was suddenly much more malicious and had a dangerous presence that he didn’t have at any other point in the movie.  He was genuinely laughing without pain which was unsettling and when he suddenly stopped laughing and said, “You wouldn’t get it” I got very, very worried and immediately started shouting in my head “Get out of there! You’re not safe!” And then as he’s singing That’s Life and the way he’s staring at the psychiatrist and grins at her with those cold, dead eyes, I was like “Why are you still sitting there?! Go now!” I was scared for her. I was and still am genuinely afraid of him in that scene. The look in his eyes and facial expressions are the look of someone who is about to do a very bad thing or he’s thinking about about doing something bad to her. Wether or not he killed the psychiatrist is open to interpretation. I think it’s possible he did. He is full on Joker in that scene. It’s glorious and terrifying.

The man sitting there is a mystery. I always find myself wondering who he really is because he so different from Arthur and even the Joker we saw on the Murray Franklin show. The psychiatrist doesn’t refer to him by name, so Arthur might not be his real name. So I agree with Catherine’s post. It’s almost like the man we came to know over those two hours is a persona he made up and the man we see in Arkham is the real Joker, who he actually is. Smug, condescending, calculating, detached, malevolent, vain, petty, and narcissistic. I just get the feeling he’s a huge asshole, not as sympathetic as Arthur.

I’ve talked with some of you about this before and I know we have our own opinions and that’s totally fine. It’s what makes the ending so great. It’s whatever you want it to be. I still don’t see Arthur in him. Arthur wasn’t like him. It’s possible he could’ve been on drugs in that scene, but I doubt it. I think it’s safe to say since Gotham is a shit hole, Arkham is an underfunded hellhole. It’s understaffed, and there could be people working there that shouldn’t be. They probably don’t have enough resources to properly treat patients, and “Arthur” could be being mistreated. But I think he was actually pretty lucid in that scene. Given that he’s the Joker, I think that psychiatrist would’ve wanted him as lucid as possible so she could interview him. It would’ve been a huge career opportunity for her. I don’t think her using the Joker as an opportunity to advance her career would bother him. The Joker loves being in the spotlight and talking about himself. The whole movie is about him and told from only his perspective, so he’s probably okay with it. But whatever the case, I still think the man we see in Arkham is not Arthur. He’s the Joker. God, I love how this movie fucks with me and still makes me question everything even though I’ve seen it so many times. Best ending ever.

[flyingcookierambles]

so i finished reading the northern caves

hey its a book ramble! after uuhhhhhh.. a year. anyways the northern caves! (https://archiveofourown.org/works/3659997/chapters/8088522)

i binged it in a whole day. and i have feelings. i think?

so ppl hyped it as a lovecraft-ish/otherworldly horror story and i think i got a bit sucked into that and let down a bit because to me the horror story wasn’t the implied dark magic connections the author had with uh. the Mundum. it was the unreliable narration and betrayal of friends. spoilers below!

so, if you’ve read the northern caves, you know what the Mundum is. it was just kinda introduced as some mystical thing in the universe that the author believed in. whether or not it was real was kinda left open ended i think.

if you for some reason haven’t read the northern caves (which will just be either the caves or tnc for typing speed’s sake), it’s about a group of online friends in a 2004 internet forum dedicated to a children’s book series called Chesscourt by Leonard Selby. the author died before he could publish his final book, The Northern Caves. thankfully, one of the ppl in the forums, metamarsh, is actually distantly related to the author, and in the event of leonard selby’s death and then marsh’s aunt’s death (i think she was selby’s sister or something), marsh’s family got all the belongings of leonard selby. all his journals, notes, and unpublished works left behind. TNC was one of them. marsh (or his aunt or some other relative) scanned the pages and released it online ig sometime before the story. and so the events of Spelunk 04! starts, in which the friend group of this forum plans an irl meet up at marsh’s house so they can go over the author’s belongings and try to make sense of tnc. tnc is, to put simply, a mess. there’s lucid parts and non-lucid parts, by which i mean that there’s entire pages of nonsense and also it’s mentioned that there are 3 entire pages that are just the letter “a.” this can easily be dismissed as the writings of a senile old man, until the revelation of the Mundum (mentioned above) comes up. 

then things so super wrong. 

so, the entire story is a “report” by a man on the forums named Paul. his handle is GlassWave. he is a person who went to Spelunk 04! and is part of the reason why the meeting went so wrong. around the part where the journals abt the Mundum come up, he totally gets into it. the narration around this part gets uh. kinda creepy. it also definitely doesnt help that there were drugs involved - adderall.

so uh. basically. paul and another guy, Arron/Errent Knight, get the Mundum. they dont understand why their friends dont understand it. the solution according to paul? put adderall into the coffee and stay up for 60 hours straight reading tnc in a group circle.

yeahhhhh.

so i personally wasnt super scared abt the entire lovecraft-ish/other worldly implications of mundum being real or not. it was the paul’s state of mind when he spiked the coffee with drugs. it was the entire betrayal thing. 

i personally haven’t really had the entire internet friends experience bc im p shy irl and online. i dont usually go talk to strangers in chatrooms/discord or anything. also stranger danger lol.

but i hear a bunch of stories abt that kind of stuff, the early 2000′s internet experience before ppl had more awareness of internet stranger danger. also i’ve been watching and reading abt a lot of internet drama thru commentary channels i watch nowadays (therightopinion is p good), and uh the whole parasocial relationship thing (so ive seen it be described as) is on my mind a lot now. since we view ppl as relatable and feel like we know them. now, of course, there’s a difference in the personal experience one can have between a youtuber or internet celeb and a person on an interactive forum/social media platform. i would think that more interactive platforms like forums or discourd would feel more personal to some than a celebrity but still. 

the entire narration of paul’s during the spiking the coffee scene was so rational-seeming to him. and then the betrayal that his friends, the ones at Spelunk 04! and online felt hit me. like, i’ve never personally experienced that kind of betrayal since i dont have internet/stranger friends, but still i think it’s really relevant now. on the 26th chapter (2nd to last), the forum comments of JimWind and Sally’s Lil Sis hit especially hard. 

JimWind:

Wow. Wowwowow. I just finished reading the whole thing through the latest bit GW's posted. I had heard things about Spelunk 04 having something to do with restaurant workers dying, but I just figured that was a baseless rumor because it seemed so hard to understand how that could have happened. But what really shocks me here isn't even that, it's the fact that GlassWave dosed his/our friends with hard drugs. (Adderall is just prescription amphetamine, AKA speed! WTF!!!) "GlassHole" indeed! TBH it really makes me uncomfortable with GW and getting this whole story from him. Of course when I first read this

“maybe not even the other forum members, not even the best among them, not even Jim, say”

I was flattered, especially cause GW's always seemed like one of the sharpest and nicest posters around these parts (until now!!). But now it kinda makes me sick to my stomach. I don't want this guy to think I'm one of the "best" Cafe people. And I'm holding back judgment on all this Spelunk nonsense until I hear about it from someone WHO ISN'T GLASSWAVE. (Plus, this is stupid, but there's something that makes it even worse about the fact that the diner has my name :P) No matter how you slice it, it's a sad day for the Cafe. D:

Sally:

Yeah me too JimWind. I'm literally crying rn. First Spelunk went wrong, then we have to wait to hear about what happened, then we finally get the report but it's from this jerk! I'm really sad bc this forum has meant a lot to me over the last year (its been a really tough year for me) and now I'm worried that everyone here might be some sort of drug-pushing creep :( :( :(

before this, everyone felt connected in some way w/ chesscourt and safe. and paul/glasswave was a decent person in the community! he talked to other ppl. ppl trusted him enough to invite him to this thing and meet up irl. and then he just. spikes coffee with adderall.

idk, maybe its just me since i was too young to be on fandom spaces in 2004 and be on chatrooms and stuff, but i feel like when the internet first came out everyone felt safe on it to some degree and the internet and real life were seperate spaces. now, esp with social media like facebook, real life and the internet are super connected. 

the fact that paul caused harm to his friends by spiking their drinks without consent is horrible. but like i feel like to ppl from 2004 who might not have experienced this kind of closely tied internet/real life drama before and also might not have the same sense of internet stranger danger that ppl have today, the idea of a person from the internet harming you in real life could be terrifying. today, i think that horror stories of ppl meeting online and then things going wrong is so common and in the news that we don’t bat an eye to it. but i guess maybe to 2004 ppl, this is like the ultimate nightmare.

when i finished the book, i felt a bit let down by the ending and stuff. it felt a bit anti-climatic. but after thinking about this from (what i think is) a 2004 person’s perspective, this is p awful. and the whole unreliable narration thing was very good.

i thought of midsommar a bit when i was thinking abt the ending. like, sure a bunch of horrible gory stuff happened and ppl died. but the real horror sets in afterwards when you realize that the movie is abt a vulnerable lonely woman in a neglectful relationship being indoctrinated into a cult thru drugs, isolation, and love bombing, and it was kinda shown as a “good thing” bc the protag finally found a place she belonged. when really, she was being further trapped in life, this time in a cult.

idk, but i guess that’s my ramble on the northern caves.

tl;dr - i read an original story from AO3 that was kinda hyped up for a lovecraft-ish horror, but i ended up interpreting the horror aspect differently and didn’t really get the mundum/lovecraft-ish part i think?

[atlasvale-blog]

So I'm pretty shit at social media in general, and I'm not at all qualified to speak on behalf of anyone but myself (obviously), but more and more so recently, following conversations with my deeply intelligent, brilliantly ambitious and successful, and intensely compassionate wife, along with several other women in my life, I've felt compelled to share some of my own thoughts. It's a fairly long post, but I think it's worth having a read.

This is, in essence, a kind of list I'd like to think would be a good - but certainly not exhaustive - collection of helpful little points and reminders for both myself and every other member of the male population on how not to be dick. These things might not apply in every single situation, but they strike me as pretty solid rules of thumb. Turns out, it's really not that hard to not be a dick when it comes down to it!

So, in no particular order:

1) If you piss on the toilet seat, or anywhere else that isn't in the toilet bowl, wipe it up. It's not difficult and if you're a grown fucking man; it's just basic decency. Same goes for number 2s. Don't be a dick.

2) Boobs are great, of course they are. The whole human form is a wondrous, beautiful and majestic thing. It doesn't matter if it's male, female, big, small, light, dark, rough, smooth, tall, short, or anything in between of any race or colour, the human body is a stunning thing to be hold. Definitely admire it; 100% appreciate its beauty; but don't ever think you have any fucking right to go and touch it, or interfere with any other body unless you have complete and explicit permission to do. You aren't owed shit when it comes to other humans, and you have zero rights to make other people feel uncomfortable, insecure and straight-up endangered because of your misguided expectations of entitlement. Admire individual beauty, but don't assert yourself on it. Adopt a simple 'look but don't touch' policy in your head if that helps (but don't be a leery fucking creep about it). Don't be a dick.

3) Same thing goes for making unsolicited (which, for anyone struggling with that concept, essentially means 'without being asked') comments about the way anybody else looks. You find person X appealing to your personal aesthetic tatses? Good for you. Don't shout it at them from across the road or as you drive past them or send weird messages to them about it. You don't find person Y appealing to your personal aesthetic tastes? No worries. Don't shout it at them from across the road or as you drive past them or send weird messages to them about it. You don't need to make any comments one way or another about how you think other people look because it's not your concern. Don't be a dick.

4) Treat everyone with respect. Simple as that. Don't undermine people's efforts to succeed; don't degrade people with words or actions; don't shit on people's attempts to better themselves; don't lash out at others because you might feel I adequate. Simply, don't be a dick.

5) Don't EVER do ANYTHING sexual with another person if you don't have EXPLICIT PERMISSION to do so. That doesn't mean 'she didn't say no,' it means 'she said yes.' Think about how you'd feel if it happened to your mum, sister, daughter, grandma, aunt, cousin, friend. I shouldn't have to even have to put this on the list. Don't be a fucking rapist. Don't.

6) Be mindful of how you speak to people - you might not mean anything negative by what you say, but be aware that things could be interpreted in ways that make people uncomfortable. Also be mindful that in a lot a situations, it's none of your business. Don't tell a stranger to smile, it's none of your business; don't tell someone they should parent their children differently, if the child isn't in danger, it's none of your business; don't tell someone they should wear more/less make-up, it's none of your business. You get the idea. Don't be a dick.

7) If you don't have the capacity to have a period, don't make assumptions or negative comments about people who do suffer from them. Instead, make sure you understand what they are and how they work (as a Science teacher, I'm only too aware of the complete lack of understanding that there is from men with regards to how the female reproductive system works, and to each and every woman reading, I'm deeply sorry that we're such morons; I'm trying to help remedy that a bit!). Once you know the mechanics of a period, then have empathy - you don't know what it's like if you don't have them, so just be supportive; it's not as though women can just turn a period off. Adopt the simple Friends adage: "No uterus, no opinion." Don't be a dick.

8) Scientifically speaking, childbirth is definitely worse. Accept it, move on. Don't be a dick.

9) Breastfeeding is totally normal. It isn't offensive, it isn't a problem. Don't be fucking weird about it. Grow up, realise that mother is doing something entirely and utterly natural (it's literally what the biological function of the boob is) and just go about your day without interfering with other people. Likewise, some mothers can't, or choose not to breastfeed. Don't shit on them either, it doesn't concern you. Don't be a dick.

10) Stop being so obsessed with your dick. Nobody wants unsolicited pictures; nobody wants to hear about it without invitation; nobody believes you when you exaggurate about it, or, if they do, everybody is then disappointed when they find out the truth. It also definitely doesn't 'stretch out' vaginas - those things are designed to handle WHOLE FUCKING BABIES. You don't have a dick the size of another human, her vagina is not going to be stretched out by you or anyone else. Grow up. Don't be a dick.

I'll finish there but, as I mentioned, this is by no means exhaustive and I'm not at all qualified to talk about what it's like to experience the daily struggles women face; it's merely a collection of my own thoughts.

I'd apologise for it being a long post, but it's important stuff and reading more is good, so I'm not going to. If you feel this was helpful or useful, feel free to share it to people that might benefit from it.

Comment if you feel the need to, but as I mentioned, I'm shit at social media so don't be offended if I don't respond.

Have a wonderful day!

[trans-shuichisaihara]

fake it till (we) make it - Scene 2

have i mentioned that i love kokichi? he’s such a little shit and i love that

(read on ao3)

Once his scattered mind begins to calm down, his first response is to shout, “What the hell’re you talking about?!”

Kokichi blinks at him, light fluttering of his eyelashes. “I meannnn, let’s fuck around with the tabloids and stuff. I’m bored and they all annoy me to no end, so I wanna pull a prank on them.”

Okay, he gets that, but- “Why with me?!”

“Becaaause,” he sighs out, “Everyone except Shuichi sucks and he’s going on tour next week. Plus he’s just a terrible actor. You at least have that going for you.” He then grins. “Plus, people eat shit like this up - you know, where the hero and the villain get together? That’s a really popular trope.”

“Dude, that was one time! And what happens when we have to film the sequel?!”

“You act as if this’ll last that long; it’s only gonna be like, maybe a month or two at max.”

A bead of sweat rolls down his face. “If it’s gonna be that short, then why can’t you find someone else?!”

Kokichi raises a brow at him. “Like who? No one would be thrilled to and you know it.”

“Well, uh-” He sputters. C’mon, there has to be someone- “What, what about that one guy, uh, Rantaro Amami?” There’d been some sort of rumor about them once, right?

“Taken. He’s a model anyway, always busy running around in a different circle. Only met him because his girlfriend was working on one of my sets designing outfits.” He sighs loudly, propping his chin on his hand. “He is really cute though...”

“Okay, uh, well...” He trails off awkwardly, trying to think of some other answer to give him. “What the hell do I get out of this? I’m not gonna ruin my reputation or anything just ‘cause you wanna screw around.”

“We’re not gonna fuck, so don’t worry about that.” Kaito has to bite back a reaction to the likely purposefully wrong interpretation of his words. “And I know people think I suck, but pretending to date me isn't going to ruin your rep, so...” He pauses for a long moment, before grinning as wide as he can. “You should just man up and help me prove the media is stupid as hell. I mean, I’m sure you hate them too, and you’re not scared of them, riiiight?”

Fuck. “Like hell I am,” he growls, massaging his temples, “I’ll do it, alright? You happy?”

He nods, grin still plastered across his face. “Yep! See you after your beauty rest, babe!” He winks and blows him a kiss.

An uncomfortable feeling immediately fills him. “Never call me that ever again and maybe I’ll sleep nightmare-free.”

“No promises!” He sings and turns away from Kaito before an argument can start, flopping back down on the couch and pulling out his phone to end all further conversation. He shakes his head and leaves Kokichi be; he has shit to do this evening, he needs at least some rest before his manager starts blowing up his phone asking where he is.

Stardom sucks when no one trusts your ability to get yourself dressed and show up with enough time for the makeup crew to do their thing.

He locks his bedroom door - just in case Kokichi decides he’s bored enough that he’s going to come and pester him more - before closing his curtains tightly to block out the morning sun that’ll soon rise. He then lies in bed for at least half an hour, despite his desire to just pass out into the realm of sleep.

Unfortunately, the tension building in his mind from his sudden deal with Kokichi makes it hard to do such a thing.

He can’t stop thinking about how the world will react to them dating. He’s not scared, it’s just- Even if it’s fake, no one would know that until it’s over, and even then it’s doubtful anyone would believe it. That’s just how fans were. He runs his hands down his face, exasperated with Kokichi, but also with himself; why the hell’d he just let himself get dragged into this?

His sleep ends up being restless, broken apart by frequent reawakening and his phone buzzing insistently. He isn’t in the mood to deal with whatever they need, so he throws his pillow over his head and ignores it.

After an unsatisfying 6 hours of sleep, he wakes up for real a bit before noon, body sluggish as he showers and throws on some shorts and a tee. He idly checks his texts as he’s making his way downstairs, astounded at the mess that was created while he slept.

Kokichi Owoma @real_ouma tweeted:

hanging out with the bae @kaitomomota #firstdate

Along with the heart emojis following the message, attached is that dumb selfie he wanted to take, which makes Kaito wonder if that was his goal all along. He pinches the bridge of his nose; the tweet already has well over 10 thousand likes and nearly half as many retweets, along with a fair number of replies. Most of them calling B.S. on it, which is a bit relieving.

He’s about to check the rest of his texts when he notices that Kokichi didn’t leave after he went to bed. Instead, he passed out on the couch, one of Kaito’s space-patterned comforters that he’s almost positive was in his bedroom closet pulled around him tightly. He’s tempted to wake him up and scold him for informing the world without permission, but he can’t be bothered. A sleeping Kokichi is a quiet Kokichi, after all.

He turns his attention back to his phone. Most of his texts are from his friends that have seen the tweet and are informing him of its existence. He doesn’t really post on his twitter, so it’s understandable that they would feel the need to let him know.

His manager is trying to give him advice for dealing with dealing with false rumors and offering to help make a public statement to shut it down, which causes him to sigh. If he has to guess, this looks like Kokichi attempting to stop him from backing out, and it works; it’d be more of a hassle to deny the rumors than to play along, after all.

He honestly doesn’t want to deal with any of this celebrity shit. He just wants to star in cool sci-fi films and be able to afford living in L.A. where all his friends are.

So, instead of answering any of the texts, he takes a picture of Kokichi sleeping for blackmail or something, then grabs his leftovers out of the fridge and tosses it in the microwave. He then sits down, pulling up the tweet again before making the decision to retweet it without any comments. Before he can regret it, he turns the notifications on his phone off and sets it aside, instead starting to make a grocery list for his upcoming trip to the store.

He’s contemplating getting them delivered instead when his lunch finishes with a loud beep, followed by a thud from the other room. He holds back a sigh; the silence he desired didn’t last nearly long enough.

“Huh?” In the living room, Kokichi hauls himself up, hair sticking up all over the place as he blinks sleep out of his eyes. In the time it takes him to grab a plate and dump his heated meal onto it, he reaches fully awake status and hurries into the kitchen to bother him. “Oh, you’re finally up!” His own phone is in his hands as he sits down in the chair next to his. “Did you see the-” For a moment, his face goes flat, before bouncing back to excited. “Oh, you retweeted it! Did you like it too?”

“Nah,” he answers, shoveling a bite of food into his mouth. After swallowing, he continues with, “By the way, thanks for that; had everyone and their mother blowing up my phone while I was sleeping.”

“You’re welcome!” He doesn’t miss a beat as he scrolls through the comments. “Hmm, it’s gonna take a lot of work to convince everyone. Care if I post about you getting ready for your day?”

“I do, actually; that’s really fuckin’ weird and won’t convince anyone of anything except that you’re a creep.”

He pouts. “Fine. But we really should talk about how we’re gonna do this.”

He scratches at the stubble along his jaw. “I guess. I’m not gonna make any gushy tweets or anything like that, before you ask.”

He hums. “Wasn’t gonna suggest anything like that. Let’s say... We’ve been officially dating for two weeks, keeping things on the down low, before we decided to come out about it last night.”

He coughs as an epiphany hits him. Fuck, he has to deal with that aspect of the media on him. “Dammit, I didn’t even think about that part. The media’s gonna be all over me for being, for being gay! Which, well, you know, isn’t a bad thing to be, but-” He can’t exactly say he isn’t when he went through that whole shebang in college, but he wasn’t wanting the world to know that.

Kokichi shrugs. “It was going to happen eventually. I mean, people have been suspecting you are since at least last winter due to the vague gay subplot going on in your latest film.”

Kaito’s forehead falls into his hand, covering his eyes. “God, can’t people tell the difference between fiction and reality anymore? That’s a fucking character-”

Kokichi’s phone rings, cutting him off. The two of them look towards it, Kokichi quirking a brow. “Oh, it’s Toujou, one sec.” He turns away from Kaito and answers the call with an obnoxiously fake shout of, “Good morning, Mom!”

Kaito rolls his eyes; he doesn’t know how Kokichi can address Director Kirumi Toujou like that. She’s scary intense when on set. He’s worked with her for two movies - both of them great, but both of them grueling to film due to her perfectionism and no-nonsense aura. He can hardly believe she’s only two years older than them with how huge the difference in maturity is.

To avoid eavesdropping on his conversation, Kaito gets up and begins to clean up his lunch and what remains of what was technically their breakfast, seeing as Kokichi didn’t bother to. He doesn’t mind doing household chores like this, honestly; he had to do them regularly while living with his grandparents. He’s faintly aware of eyes in his back as he tears up the pizza box to fit into his trash can and moves to begin washing the handful of dishes in the sink.

Finally, a loud sigh sounds from the other side of the kitchen, and he pauses to give him a glance. His phone is facedown, so the conversation is likely over. “What happened?”

“She wants me to come in today. Apparently, one of the cameramen screwed up on the shot we did a few days ago and she just noticed it and it’s bugging her. Important scene and all that.” He waves his hand. Kaito feels sorta bad for him; all scenes were important scenes to her, so this was likely not an actual emergency.

“Just one scene, right? Hopefully you won’t be there too long, then.” One scene could still take hours, but it’s still likely to be shorter than a full session.

“Dunno. You know how it is.” He stands, stretching. “Welp, good luck with your day. Interview tonight, right?”

“Damn, yeah.” He shuts the water off, drying his hands as Kokichi looks around for his car keys. “You know they’re gonna be all over me because of your tweet.”

“Good. Play along. If they ask you who made the first move, I asked you out, and you accepted because I’m ‘kinda cute’ - those exact words. If they ask, ‘only kinda?’, you respond by seeming embarrassed.” He finally locates and plucks up his keys from the ground in front of the sofa, almost hidden by the blanket draped along the side of the couch and onto the floor. “Honestly, it should be too easy to fool them.”

He has a whole script ready, huh. “Man, who died and made you director?”

“Unfortunately, no one; the universe isn't that kind as to rid the world of any of them,” he dramatically says, before he shakes his head and returns to a more neutral tone, “Anyway, I'll be back tonight; we can discuss the schematics of our act then. Don't say anything unnecessary, be vague, they can fill in any gaps themselves. Got it?”

He responds by shooing Kokichi out of his house. “Yeah yeah, don't worry. It'll be fine; I'm not stupid.”

[torreygazette]

Book Review: The Gospel Comes with a House Key

When I get offered Christian books to review, that usually means Amish romance novels. 

So when I saw this upcoming book by Rosaria Butterfield on offer, I was genuinely pleased.

Hospitality is something I've been thinking about a lot for the past few years: how to receive it, how to extend it, how to make it part of Christian home life as a reflection of the spiritual life we share, and how to invite outsiders in. 

A bit of background on Butterfield, if you're not already familiar with her other books: she is a former lesbian/radical feminist/activist. In these circles, she had a community, one that loved and accepted her and extended hospitality. When she converted to Christianity, not only was that hospitality no longer available to her, there was no such corresponding hospitality available within her new community. Thus, this book.

The overall theme is simple. Stop waiting for someone else to step up. Step up yourself. I can't say I disagree, I'm just still not sure how to make that happen in my particular circumstance. 

Butterfield writes about how she and her husband and children live in an urban/suburban neighborhood, connected to their 300+ immediate neighbors by an app called Nextdoor. (Out of curiosity, I explored Nextdoor to see what it was like in my neighborhood, where houses can be a lot further apart... it's not in use by anyone else around here.)

A typical week for them will include hospitality extended day and night—people coming and going, neighbors in crisis, long-term guests, church events, travelers in need... the list goes on. It is not uncommon for them to post to the app and invite the entire neighborhood over for a barbecue. 

She describes her need to recharge being met by rising in the pre-dawn hours, so she can have a snippet of time alone to do devotions. With children at different ages and stages of life (I believe she homeschools the ones who are still at home), it sounds like their days as a family are packed. Her husband is a pastor, and they're heavily involved with their church. 

Hospitality on this scale requires a great deal of preparation and forethought, down to the budget and shopping, and she makes it clear that you can get so bogged down in the details that you can forget why you're doing this.

It's clear that this isn't a "let's impress the guests" kind of hospitality—it is the extension of the family life to the outsider. Yes, sometimes things are going to be a mess. But as she says, if you're family and you come in and see I'm still working on something, you pitch in—fold the laundry, stir the soup, unload the dishwasher. 

As I have written about many times before, most of my friends have small children. And they're always apologizing for what they perceive as things that would make me uncomfortable. The noise! The mess! Leaving me on my own for 5 minutes while they put the kids down to sleep!

.... Stop worrying. I've been trying to tell you I'm just glad to be here. Thank you for letting me be part of your family, and give me something to do. This is real life, and this is what Butterfield writes about. A hospitality borne out of the recognition that we all may be fine communing together on Sunday morning, but then you're on your own until next week. 

She describes how we come together, for the high point of the Christian week, and in that time we are full, raw, and whole ... and then we splinter apart and return to our own homes and lives. There is little to no overlap, and this can leave people (myself included!) reeling somewhat as they attempt to readjust from that spiritual high to the drudgery of "real life". Hospitality can help with this. This is one way to interpret Galatians 6:10—doing good to all, especially your family in Christ.

Some of my initial concerns going into the book were readily addressed. Does this kind of hospitality mean flinging your doors open to everyone, no matter what? (No.)

How do you do this without totally burning out? (If you try to do this in your own strength, you will. There are times when it can't be done.) Is it safe? (Not always.) Is this a substitute for the hospitality your church offers? (Nope: that's corporate, this is personal.) Is this some kind of goofy "outreach" to just soup-kitchen unbelievers into belief? (Definitely not.) Couldn't hospitality mean adoption? (Yes!) Do you have to have a house to do this? (No: she writes about how hospitality can indeed mean visiting those in the hospital, prison, catching up with someone over coffee, etc. I hate using this word, but what she's talking about is being intentional, not lackadaisical.)

One of the questions I didn't really see an answer to was: how do you prioritize your own family if this is getting to be too much, i.e., is there one night every once in a while where you have one-on-one family time? Is it ever okay to just regroup and recharge, or are you inherently failing by taking some time off?

The book is more or less addressed to married couples. She writes that, of course, the contributions of singles to hospitality are important, but then didn't offer any practical suggestions on what that might look like. I guess if I want those answers, I have to write the book myself. 

The kind of hospitality they can practice is facilitated by her being able to work from home, while homeschooling, and cooking, and cleaning, with the help of the whole family and whoever is on hand to assist. And that's amazing. I would love to be able to do that someday. Meanwhile: I work 40 hours a week and live by myself, so what I'm able to offer is, by necessity, on a smaller scale. It would NOT be safe or prudent for me to have the kind of open door policy they do, although the conviction creeping up on me is that it does need to be slightly more open than it is now.

I think the thing that struck me most is her interpretation of 1 Corinthians 10:13 and how God will provide a way out of any temptation. She suggests, what if your extension of hospitality to someone IS that escape for them? What if, by providing a place for someone to go and a family to be part of, God is using your hospitality to protect them from the spiral of addiction? 

It's a powerful concept. (As a 110% Martha type, I'm aware my tendency is to give and give and give—out of my own strength—until I'm completely toast, which takes a long time to come back from ... so this all has to be taken with a grain of salt. Sometimes, learning how to regulate yourself means you have to step back from things you would naturally like to be doing.)

Butterfield is a conservative Presbyterian, and the theological portions of the book reflect not only the church environment she's been in for years, but also the thorough, measured approach you'd expect from someone who was a former professor. There wasn't much in here I disagreed with. If you have a sound understanding that all people have sinned and come short of the glory of God and that we are yet made in God's image, that SHOULD shape how you interact with them. I freely admit that is more difficult with some people than with others. I don't know where to start with my sprawling neighborhood, with the neighbors I wave to but don't speak to. I have no idea what the kind of hospitality she describes looks like in New England, where people can be neighbors for decades without actually knowing each other. 

My first thought was, how do I start this with people from my church? But this is where I hit another barrier because I do live at some distance from church—meaning I have to ask people to drive to me, or I have to forcibly invite myself over (cough New England cough). What does hospitality look like, then? Is it taking people out for lunch, or bringing food to their house? I DON'T KNOW. HELP ME, ROSARIA. Maybe if I tell God I just want to get married so it'll be easier to be hospitable, that will finally crack the code. JK. (Maybe not totally kidding.) 

Overall, while I have a few concerns that weren't addressed within this text, it is a thoughtful and helpful book that I would like to read again in a few years, to see how my circumstances and approach have changed. I would recommend that those who are interested in Christian hospitality (and yes, outreach) read this book. It is challenging and convicting, and having read it, I want to do more in this area. 

Disclaimer: I was provided with a free Advance Reader Copy by Amazon Vine in return for an honest review. I was not required to write a positive review. 

[a-ceratosaurus-wearingcrocs]

IM WITH YOU! LET AMY BE SILLY! SHES CANONICALLY YOUNGER THAN THE REST (minus tails but hes an outlier) LET HER BE NORMAL

if we all band together we never have to make amy “the mom friend” or “the brain cell” ever again who’s with me. guys . hello ?