#also this is on the gay trans website just sayin

[hellomynameisbisexual]

5 Ways That Bi Erasure Hurts More Than Just Bisexual People

December 2, 2014 by Milo Todd

This year, Bisexual Awareness Day/Celebrate Bisexuality Day was on September 23rd.

That same day, the National LGBTQ Task Force thought it’d be a good idea to post an article entitled “Bye Bye Bi, Hello Queer,” in which leadership programs director Evangeline Weiss said “she is ready ‘to say bye bye to the word bisexuality.’

She said it does not describe her sexual orientation, and she encouraged readers to cease using the word as well as she felt it reinforced a binary concept of gender.

Let me drive that home a little more. The National LGBTQ Task Force not only thought it would be a good idea to publish an article insulting, misrepresenting, and forsaking the bisexual letter in their own name, but did so on Celebrate Bisexuality Day.

Rude.

And a fantastic example of the constant, ongoing erasure bisexual people have to deal with. This one just happened to be incredibly blatant.

What happened as a result of that article? People got pissed.

People got so pissed that the Task Force not only removed the article from their website, but posted in its place this non-apology (it keeps being referred to as an apology, but I’m not so easily pleased): “Having listened to a wide array of feedback on the timing and content, we recognize that this blog offended people. For this we sincerely apologize. It has been removed.”

In other words, “Sorry you got pissed off. Hopefully you’ll shut up if we take it down.” Which, as far as I can tell, isn’t much of an apology for a blatant disregard of an entire community of people.

Misunderstanding of the bisexual community has been the crux of biphobia’s history and the ongoing battle to erase bisexuality from the LGBTQIA+ community.

It’s a scary time to be bi, especially when your lesbian, gay, pansexual, and queer siblings and allies are calling for your blood simply because they’ve fallen victim to the mainstream agenda without realizing it. (Say what?! Jump to #5.)

It’s time for a change.

It’s time for all of us to properly understand one another and to — hope of hopes — become allies for our incredibly similar endeavors. To help initiate that friendship, I ask you, dear reader, to go through the following three steps.

Step 1: Look below. If I’ve played my cards right, virtually every reader should find at least one category with which they identify.

Step 2: Approach your designated section(s) with an open mind, an unprejudiced heart, and a desire to further enhance your own community/ies. It’s difficult for people to learn new things and see different views if they automatically approach them with resistance, which is often the case with bisexual topics.

Step 3: See how bi erasure hurts you as a person and, while you’re at it, likely hurts the people you care about. Because it really is happening.

So here are five ways in which bi erasure is hurting people of layered identities.

1. Female-Identified People and Feminists

Bisexuality is one of the only non-monosexual* identities currently recognized in the English-speaking world. If bisexuality is kept underground, it suppresses our limited, precious resources for open discussion about non-monosexuality. This hurts female-identified people and feminists regardless of their sexual orientation.

To this day, female-identified people can’t get a fair shake. Pay is unequal, birth control access is limited, and objectification is a daily thing. Non-monosexual women in particular are often not taken seriously because they’re seen as sluts, greedy, or unable to make up their minds.

Also, the general fetishizing of women is particularly intensified in the bisexual realm by (straight-identified) men, turning the very act of women’s sexual freedom, empowerment, and self-expression into nothing more than something for male gazes. (This is most often seen through the relentless prompts for female-female-male threesomes and masculine catcalls in bars when two femme-appearing women make out.)

By participating in or casually allowing bi erasure to happen, we’re ignoring the specific plights and abuses of bisexual women, thereby contributing to the ongoing problem of female inequality, objectification, and silence.

As feminists, we can’t pick and choose which women to fight for. The complexities of womanhood — and all of its cultural suppressions — are an all-or-none deal.

*Note: Non-monosexuality usually refers to someone who is interested in more than one sex or gender. (In other words, somebody who isn’t gay, lesbian, or straight.) Another way to say “non-monosexuality” would be “polysexuality” to help keep it from sounding negative.

2. Male-Identified People and Male Liberationists*

Just like with female-identified people and feminists, bi erasure hurts male-identified people and male liberationists regardless of their sexual orientation.

Allow me to make this pretty basic: Men continue to be fed the message that being gay is bad. Being gay means you’re not really a man, which means you lose your dude membership and the bulk of your male privilege. And since gayness equals the slightest shred of attraction to or intimacy with another male, all manners of bromance must be squashed.

In short, many guys live in a state of silent terror in this regard.

Bi men are afraid of being banished from the world of lady-loving, gay men are worried about losing all of their connections to hetero land, and nothing is worse for a straight man than being called a fag.

Constant monitoring, constant filtering, constant stress: Is this really the kind of world we guys want to keep living in?

By being able to talk about bisexuality — remember: one of our only non-monosexual identities — male-identified people can begin to break free from the masculine ideal.

Bi talk helps bridge the gap between being a man (straight) and not being a man (gay) and realizing, hey, having some manner of attraction to or intimate interaction with another guy is totally okay, masculinity unscathed.

Gay men can begin to regain their identities as men, bi men can finally start coming out, and “fag” will lose its strength as an insult from one straight man to another.

*Note: Male liberationists are more or less seen as allies to feminists and vice versa. Both will argue that patriarchy is bad, but while feminists talk of how it’s bad for females, male liberationists talk of how it’s bad for males. Examples include the inability to romantically or sexually love another male, the emasculation of men of color, and the physical, verbal, and mental abuse that comes from society’s expectations to be stereotypically masculine.

3. People Who Identify as Trans Sexual, Trans Gender, Genderfluid, Genderqueer, or Gender Non-Conforming

This one’s pretty easy. Some people on the trans spectrum identify as bisexual. But then they’re told they can’t or that it’s an insult to their trans siblings because bisexuality is believed to be trans-exclusive.

The problem with bi erasure is it adds to the ongoing problem of cis people — LGQ or not — telling trans people what to think. Cis people have a bad habit of thinking they need to speak for people on the trans spectrum even when trans people are quite capable of speaking for themselves. This is even more frustrating when it comes from a community supposedly meant to support them.

Despite the personhood for which they’re continuing to fight, trans people can receive backlash from the lesbian, gay, and queer communities as their identities and bodies are turned into political battlegrounds.

Sometimes, they’re used without consent by some cis individuals so that points can be made for non-trans-specific agendas, and sometimes they’re ironically used in the attempts for cis identities to help better the trans worlds.

For instance, automatically dismissing bisexuality as trans-exclusive and guilting any person on the trans spectrum that wants to identity as bisexual, if I may make so fine a point.

As blogger Aud Traher writes, “If you want to support trans people like me, don’t erase me or speak over me or cause me harm out of self-righteous biphobia. Look into yourself and deal with that internalized biphobia and then help others get over theirs. Don’t advocate for the destruction of a community in the name of ‘saving’ it. And, especially, don’t do it in my name.”

4. People Who Identify as Gay, Lesbian, or — Yes — Straight

Quite simply, it makes gays and lesbians (and straight people) look bad, too.

Bisexual people get a bad rap for apparently upholding the gender binary by saying they love only (cis) men or (cis) women, but isn’t that pretty much exactly what gays, lesbians, and straight people are saying when they identify as gay, lesbian, or straight? That they’ll only love either (cis) men or (cis) women?

But where’s their rampant backlash from the rest of the community for upholding the gender binary? I’m just sayin’.

Even when these groups extend their definitions to include trans people and people on the gender non-conforming spectrum, it’s often still as long as those trans people exhibit some manner of gender representation that falls into the lover’s category of desire.

Now, I’m honestly not trying to rag on gays, lesbians, or even straight people. They have as much right to identify how they want as anybody else. And there’s nothing wrong with feeling primarily attracted to only, say, cis or trans men if your brain simply tells you that you only like guys. That’s fine. Go ahead and do that. I’m not saying you can’t.

What I am saying is you can’t be spewing bi hate or letting bi erasure slide because 1) it’s incredibly one-sided and unfair, and 2) in the end, it’s making you look bad, too.

What do you think will happen if bi erasure is a success? You’ll be next, dears.

*cue Jaws theme*

5. People Who Identify as Queer, Pansexual, or Another Fellow Non-Monosexual

In late October, Lizzy the Lezzy — who I quite enjoy, by the way — shared a photo on her Facebook timeline explaining sexuality in terms of guests at a BBQ.

This would be all well and good if it didn’t include a glaring misconception about bisexual people, especially when compared to pansexuals. While bisexual people were defined as getting both hot dogs and hamburgers, pansexuals were defined as getting hot dogs, hamburgers, “and a salad.” Oops. What year is this again?

I’m going to make something very plain to you, dear reader: Bisexual people don’t just love (cis) men or (cis) women. That’s not how the ballpark definition goes. The “bi” in “bisexual” does not indicate a binary. Well, okay, it does indicate a binary, but probably not the one you think.

Instead of “bi” meaning a love for only cis men or cis women or otherwise putting men and women at two opposite ends of a spectrum, “bi” means a love for identities bisexual people identify with themselves and identities that they don’t.

Or, as the popular Robyn Ochs definition goes: “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.”

Look at that very closely. That’s still a binary. That’s still “bi.” And there isn’t a thing wrong with it, no exclusion to be seen.

When compared with the general concepts of pansexuals and queers, our orientations suddenly sound pretty darn similar: We love everyone.

Bisexual people get a bad rap for apparently being transphobic. While we’ve already seen a little bit in #3 as to why we aren’t, I want to further drive the point home here. A large portion of the transphobic accusations toward us come from the queer and pansexual communities, which in turn seem to derive from some serious misinformation and misdirection by the mainstream.

For the record, queers and pansexuals are cool. I like them. But the fact of the matter is that the misconception of the “bi” in “bisexual” as meaning an attraction to only (cis) men or (cis) women — and therefore upholding the gender binary — was created and imposed upon bisexual people by the mainstream. You know, the people that want the gender binary to stick around.

And some queers and pansexuals ate the propaganda they were fed? That’s terrifying. It starts to show just how large and sneaky the mainstream’s gender binary monster truly is.

By defining and erasing bisexuality on the grounds that it upholds the gender binary, pansexuals and queers are not only reinforcing the binary they so sorely wish to dismantle, but they are losing important focus on where the problem actually resides: the mainstream’s insistence to force the gender binary on non-mainstream groups such as bisexual people.

Further, holding bisexual people responsible for the abuse they’ve suffered is simply wrong. All that’s doing is blaming the victim. But, by recognizing and respecting bisexual people as they truly are, bisexual people can not only help dismantle the gender binary and put a new definition on the concept of the spectrum, but finally be allowed to team up with pansexuals and queers to crush mainstream abuse on non-mainstream identities.

Doesn’t that sound nice? I think it sounds nice.

TL;DR

Dear non-bisexual identities, please stop shooting yourselves in the foot and then wondering why you’re missing toes.

We’re here for the same reasons you are: for the right to love whoever we want and for the right for others to do the same.

So let’s finally be friends. We’re never going to get anything done if we keep spending our time putting each other down.

[firedupreadytogousa-blog]

DAY 7 (1/26) ACTIONS TO MAKE AMERICA, AMERICA AGAIN!

-YESTERDAY, IN TRUMPLAND-

TRUMP DECLARES WAR ON IMMIGRANTS

Trump signed an executive order to ban Immigrants from several middle eastern countries and stop Syrian Refugees from entering into the US. His supporters love this because most of them believe the hype behind this myth that our borders are wide open. The process is actually very thorough and takes up to 2 years before any refugee is able to enter the US, but FOX News or it didn’t happen right? This order also plans to defund any sanctuary cities, hire 5,000 border officers, expand detainment centers, and the end the catch and release policy. For a group of people that are so pro-life, they seem to not GAF about the lives of these women and children. I’m not surprised when you have Senators compare people to buildings… yes you read that right, people are just inanimate objects for them to play with.

Trump also ordered the building of the Wall right before his officials are set to meet with senior Mexican officials. The wall will still cost us $25 Billion dollars to build and Mexico has already said, hell no to paying for it and they aren’t planning to pay us back for it either. What does that even mean, pay us back? Well, apparently Trump wants to take all the money that Mexican immigrants in the US are sending back to their families in Mexico to help fund the $25 Billion wall. Which doesn’t seem like a reliable defense since, you know, tunnels… Just sayin’

Then later in the day, Foreign Mexican officials who were supposed to meet with Chief of Staff Reince Pubis Priebus, Trump’s Son In-Law Jared “My daddy had to pay to get me into Harvard” Kushner, Mike Flynn (NSA), and Steve “is Alt Right” Bannon are reconsidering their visit. They were going to try to convince Trump that blowing up NAFTA (North American Free Trade Agreement) could potentially effect 6 million American Jobs that depend on exports to Mexico. They also were planning to flex by threatening to stop cooperating in the fight against drug trafficking, and discontinue efforts to stop foreign terrorists from using Mexico as a throughway into the US because let’s face it everyone hates us right now. Granted, NAFTA could use some updates (data protection, online-crime, and e-commerce weren’t around in the early 90’s when initially signed). But “NAFTA and Other trade deals [are not what has] gutted American Manufacturing”. Automation and our failure to train people for the evolving job requirements in manufacturing have. Let’s face it, this whole plan isn’t for the people; this is for Profit… because remember the President is still profiting from his businesses.

 Let’s Talk About Climate Change

Trump has ordered the EPA to take down the climate page from their website. Also with everything else that’s going on, the sneaky GOP has officially shut down the investigation into the Flint water crisis. All those people will receive no justice and the problem has not been fixed. 

 ACA/ Housing Developments

House passes a nationwide abortion ban, vote now goes to the Senate! Also, turns out that Global Gag order is not just business as usual as some news reports say. It actually goes much farther with some unprecedented reach

HHS banned from releasing data/facts to the public.Elizabeth Warren and Sherrod Brown to approve Ben Carson to HUD. Yup the same guy who said Obamacare was “the worst thing to happen to America Since Slavery” and that he didn’t want to take this job because he has no experience running a government agency. SMH

 The GOP’s Hypocritical Oath

Looks like the axis of evil has some hypocritical skeletons in their own closets. I mean you would think that if two of the cornerstones of your campaign centered around the misuse of emails (one that led to that investigation to nowhere) and unsubstantiated claims of a rigged voting system, you would want to make sure your hands were clean of such offenses right? WRONG! Egg, meet face.

It has come to light that both Steve Bannon, Steve Mnchin (Treasury Secretary Nominee) and Tiffany Trump are registered to Vote in 2 different states! Also, the republicans beat the democrats in the House and Senate by over 3 million votes, so I’m thinking the GOP really doesn’t want this investigation digging up dirty details. But logic need not apply in this house.

Oh, and BTW Kellyann, Bannon, Kushner, and Spicer are all using private email accounts, while Trump is still communicating on unsecure devices. This is the same private email system that the Bush Administration got caught using (remember the one where they “lost” 22 million emails).  Guarantee that is something you will not see on the FOX News feed. Stay woke people!

 Bills, Bills, Bills & The Crooked GOP

The Senate Voted 51 to 48 to completely dismantle clauses in the ACA they were supposed to keep. And there is still no replacement! Items include: ending coverage for preexisting conditions (this also affects you if you get your insurance through work, like I do), cut funding for Child Health Insurance Program, cut provision allowing children to stay on their parent’s healthcare until the age of 26, remove discrimination from women in healthcare, end contraceptive coverage, defund and repeal the affordable care act. House Vote is on FRIDAY! Better get in touch with your Senators!

Mississippi Gov, Phil Bryant, aka Mike Pence 2.0, signed into law yesterday a bill allowing businesses to refuse service to people in the gay community just by claiming, “God made me do it.” Oh ya, this effects the Trans Community as well.

On a National level, Mr. “I Love The Gays” is now backing this Anti- LGBTQ bill, the First Amendment Defense Act, which essentially is code for “Not Straight, No Service.”

House passes bill to PERMANENTLY outlaw abortion for folks on ACA, Medicare and Medicaid in the case of incest or rape! This was the only form of abortion allowed to be paid for with federal $$$ under the Hyde Amendment. Studies have shown that banning abortion does not decrease the number of abortions, but is does increase the number of maternal deaths. This is truly the party of death!

Keep track of all proposed legislation with the countable app.

-RESISTANCE REPORT-

The Netherlands came to SLAY! In response to Trump’s reinstatement of the global gag order, the Dutch government set up an International Abortion fund. Just as we saw in the Women’s March, the WORLD has got our back and we will need the support for the next 4 years!

Another Victory, the Agriculture Department Lifted the Gag Order out of response to all the “outrage” they received! The Resistance IS working. Continue to be vigilant and speak up!

ProPublica is an outlet that recently came out and is now helping Scientists “leak” data and still stay anonymous. This could prove very valuable as many scientists were frantically saving data before the Trump Dumb. Now it looks like there are alternative venues to house and distribute info to the public, including rogue twitter accounts created by the National Parks Service AltUSNatParksService (@AltNatParkSer), the EPA @UngaggedUSEPA, and NASA @rougeNASA. it’s official! The resistance movement has hit SPACE!

Greenpeace killed it in the resistance game yesterday! These People Scaled a crane and hung a “Resist” banner just blocks away from the White House! You could actually see it in the background as you looked at the Whitehouse! And then these folks chased down Marco Rubio to give him an actual spine in response to his caving on the Tillerson vote.

Some leaky aids in the Whitehouse spilled all the tea on how our resistance is getting under the Child in Chief’s thin skin. It seems like he’s having a hard time adjusting to having a real job.

NYC continues to make me proud! Here is video of the hundreds of people that descended upon Washington Square to STAND up for immigrants and Muslims! Later on Mayor Bill De Blasio, held a press conference to express that NYC would remain a sanctuary city. Mayors from Boston, San Francisco, and other sanctuary cities around the US joined suit. I couldn’t make the protest by donated to the IRC (International Rescue Committee). You can Donate HERE. Philly also Rose Up and protested outside the GOP’s hotel where Trump is supposed to meet with the GOP today! More Protests are scheduled. Info HERE.

-TAKE ACTION-

Demonstration Save the Dates

1/30 (MON) Stop Devos Office Visit at Schumer’s Office, 49th and 3rd 4:15pm! Why? Because even her former college mates think she’s inept! RSVP HERE

1/31 (TUES) What the F@$k Chuck, rally in front of Chuck Schumer’s house to remind him he may be sitting pretty and secure now, but he works for US and we will hold him accountable. #NotOneInch. RSVP to the Event HERE

2/11 (SAT) Anti-Planned Parenthood Protest Support needed. They are targeting the Planned Parenthood on Bleecker, 26 Bleecker Street, New York, NY 10012, from 11pm-1pm. The PP reps do not want counter protesters but instead folks that can volunteer to be escorts for patients. Find if your center is affected and call/ email for more info on how to help.

MY ACTIONS FOR TODAY

1) EMERGENCY ACTION TO STOP DEVOS. VOTE IS 1/31. Calling all NC, SC, ME, TN, AK, GA, UT, LA, KS, and KY friends!! WE NEED 3 SENATORS TO CHANGE THEIR VOTES TO PREVENT DeVos FROM BEING CONFIRMED!!!. Guide to Calling Senators. These are the Senators we need to vote NO. Find Your Elected Officials HERE. If you can’t get to them, try all the numbers listed for their staff as well!

2)  FLOOD Paul Ryan’s office with letters (since he has stopped picking up the phone) and tell him what happened today in the House to remove the provisions of Obamacare and defund it with no replacement is unacceptable. here is his mailing address: 1233 Longworth HOB, Washington, D.C. 20515; Fax: (202) 225-3393. Yes, they still use Fax Machines over there.

3)  NYC/ Manhattanites Keep Calling Chuck to demand he stop compromising with Trump. Home Address: 9 Prospect Park, W Brooklyn, NY 11215. Fill his mailbox! Melville Office: 631-753-0978, Dir of NYC Policy and Economic Development: 212-486-7804, or his special assistant: 212-486-5373 (these are the only ones getting through right now)

4)  Call (844)-6-RESIST to tell the House to vote against Jeff Sessions.

5) Follow the @AltNatParkSer, @UngaggedUSEPA, and @rougeNASA to stay woke on Science!

6) Science March on Washington Is in The Works. Join their FB Page Here or follow them on twitter @SciencmarchDC or Reddit to keep up to date or signup to help!

[noise-misato-boy-destroyer]

Katie IM SO SCARED. I've been considering changes I never have before? I kind of hate my face and want to eradicate every photo of myself? Is it normal to see how beautiful and how much fun trans ladies are having and feel envious? What if someone tries out transition just as a prank but it doesn't go well? Can you go back? I had this really weird (but extremely cisgender) dream?? Do you think more girls want ugly cis boyfriends or like goth trans dommes? I just want to have an easy, simple life. I'm really scared and I don't want to make my life worse. How do I know if I'm just falling for the "if you can't get goth gf then become goth gf" meme? That's probably all it is, right? I'm not trans

Could you just please say I'm not trans?

It sounds like you know what path to take, just look at how you've worded some of this, hun....

I hate my old face and made an entirely new and curated personal social media presence to distance myself from that part of me and am even getting FFS now, i was sick with envy over the trans community on here to the point that it eventually made me a crazy person, you can absolutely transition as a bit but you'll quickly find you won't want to go back even tho you absolutely can. Hmmmm ugly man or goth domme idk what lesbians want I'll have to get back to you on that.

As for an easy and simple life, that's...unfortunately not in the cards for any of us. This IS going to bump the difficulty to hardcore, I can't sugarcoat things. Even for the most privileged girls, it's a fucking struggle and you're gonna lose partners and friends and possibly family and definitely your mind so so many times...but holy fucking shit I couldn't ever go back, I am finally so content with who I am and what I'm doing, like....fuck I love being trans so goddamn much. Living in a very queer friendly area is a huge help tbh, the physical access to community has literally saved me.

Girl the first post I made post-transition was something like 'become the goth GF you want to see in the world'...if you can't stop thinking about it, you should probably try it and see how it feels. If it's not for you, no harm no foul, and nobody needs to know about it. You can stealth transition and just boymode in public and practice looks in private until you're comfortable.

This all sums up to me having to politely decline to your last request as I regretfully inform you that you could very well be trans, honey. As I've said before, cis people don't have to wonder this hard about it