#also unflattering photo of me but I DON'T CARE

[kat-n-dog]

Hi hello I keep forgetting to post this WE GOT OUR CGC-A

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

sorry but this is one of the dumbest things anyone has ever said to me

[mr-orion]

Feeling obligated to do a self portrait of myself for my birthday because my picture footprint is significantly less than the average persons. I do not own any pictures of myself, I do not have ceremonial pictures like other people, or family pictures. I have not taken a photograph of myself in just about a decade. The only photographs that exist of me now are on my friends phone. (I actually hate that she just takes pictures of me without asking, they are always unflattering and she shows everyone but I don't really care to bother with it.)

But like also. I don't want anyone to perfectly know what I looked like. Especially right now. I don't want there to be a photo reference for me to look back on. I think I should visually only exist in memory. I think people should have to describe as be a bobadacious twink in extreme detail to whoever wants to know.

We'll see though

[justine-the-guillotine]

when I first started my eating disorder recovery for the final time, I thought I had to be some beacon of body positivity in order to prove that I was really recovering. An example of this is when my friend would take unflattering pictures of me because I used to love candid photos of myself (and who wouldn't when you didn't have a bad angle) and then she would post them. And I would hate them, I would cringe, but I wouldn't say anything because I felt like I was supposed to be okay with it. I thought recovery meant that I was supposed to be okay with it. "I love myself, this is who I am, who cares what a picture looks like!!!" is what I felt I was supposed to portray to the world, but really, pictures that I didn't like really messed with my head. Eventually, as I continued in recovery, I realized that disliking a picture of yourself does not mean you're not recovered. People without any eating issues at all can just not like a picture of themselves and it's no big deal. It doesn't mean you hate yourself, it doesn't mean you think you're disgusting, it doesn't mean you want to die... it just simply means you did not like that one picture.

That realization was an important step in my recovery. Another important step was realizing that I could say "no" to a picture. An even more important step in recovery was understanding that I actually could want to lose weight or be a little unhappy with my appearance and it wouldn't necessarily mean I was regressing or failing - sometimes we have things we want to change, and it's not for any inherently fucked-up-in-the-head reason.

This doesn't seem directly related, but absolutely similar to this is realizing that being the "chill" friend doesn't mean that I have to act like I'm okay with everything. I know what it feels like to not have a safe space to turn to, so I love being a safe space for others so I don't like to say anything to them that discourages them in any way from feeling like they can come to me about things. I know how it is to feel like everything is so URGENT so I love being the "easy-going" friend that makes people feel safe to change their minds. But that doesn't mean I have to be okay with them canceling last-minute plans and showing up unexpectedly. It doesn't mean that I have to be okay with things they say to me if I'm not. If they say something to me that hurts me, I don't have to be the "chill" friend about it. I can speak up. I can be strong and still acknowledge things hurt me. That I have fears and insecurities. I think that's also an important part of true recovery... I think that's the correlation. You can have fears and insecurities and it doesn't automatically mean "bad," it can mean "normal". It can mean "strong". It can mean "healthy". (all these words are subjective of course and that's why they are in quotes.)

[desafia]

okay i will start the conversation. every main female character with longevity on stranger things has some aspect to them that makes them Not Like Other Girls. eleven is obvious but doesn't inherently have an issue if the rest of the girls weren't framed in such ways. look at nancy, barb an outcast disapproves of her getting dressed up for her boyfriend. her having sex with steve is framed as a negative which indirectly "causes" barb's death. her sexuality as a normal teenage girl is punished and shamed. and sure, her being literally slutshamed on screen is condemned by the characters but narratively? it's still kinda supported. she is only seen as on the right path when she is heavily distanced from girlhood. her feminine youth is poked fun at in s4 in a way that frames all her girly things and dresses as cringey and foolish now. going so far as to put robin in an outfit that is very clearly ridiculous and doesn't even look like something nancy would wear.

also of note that nancy having consensual sex with her boyfriend is somehow framed worse than jonathan taking explicit photos of her without her consent. he is even rewarded for it in the end by getting a new camera and eventually getting nancy.

joyce is one i don't think people consider. but she is always dressed down, she doesn't get to be as well groomed. she is looked down on by the rest of the women who are then framed as frivolous and too wrapped up in being housewives to be competent enough to take proper care of their children. all the mothers are in this are unfair caricatures of being unable to discipline their kids or know what is going on. they just sit at home wringing their hands, clueless about their children's lives and just some big incompetent punchline. or you have mrs wheeler who is constantly treated like shit by her husband and children. then objectified and turned into some weird predatory thing towards billy for no reason.

max of course who i love and adore. but is another example of being framed as more worthy and cool because she's a tomboy. i love her exactly how she is. but it still has that air of she's only cool because she rejects girly things and only wants to do the "boy" things. they do the whole bit of el being jealous and shit. which some of this is rectified in s3 but it's still weird??

chrissy even irks me because you have this feminine cheerleader who serves no purpose except to kickstart eddie's narrative. which ends up being kind of pointless in the end because he just gets killed off in a way that doesn't even do anything for the overall plot. i think if i remember correctly some girl got killed to kick off billy's mind flayer arc in s3 too? there is this whole thing of like teenage girlhood being sacrificed each season.

ngl even eleven's bully kinda made me feel weird. the way they're contrasted, where they have el back in like dumpy clothes. she's dressed in an unflattering way and very clearly Not Girly. to then have her bully be a hyper feminine girly girl who is properly primped and preened and all in pink. like i know this stuff isn't even That Deep. it's mostly some cishet white nerdy men's internal biases showing. it's like alskjdf there are more pressing issues in the show. it just kinda makes me feel weird when i look at it all together? anyway there it is

robin is different bc she's a lesbian i give her a pass she gets to have the not like other girls arc. duffer bros get to keep this one

[cityandking]

17 (obviously a modern au for those applicable lmfao), 21, 26, 46 for dai, bran and niko! 🧡

ty dear!! // super detailed questions about your oc

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

DAI — I think modern dai would be super into photography. something something the way he sees the world something the tangibility of light. lots of landscape shots, lots of candids of other people, lots of stuff with light and how it touches people and things. I think he'd also be into the process of developing film by hand. I don't know what he'd do with them afterwards. he probably has boxes and boxes of developed film he doesn't talk much about until someone insists on seeing them.

BRAN — likes to take quick spur-of-the-moment pics with (or of) her friends. has LOADS of unflattering selfies, often featuring a scowling nikö or sabine. posts a couple of them but mostly she just keeps them in her camera roll to look back on fondly. is 300% the menace who posts an entire album's worth of pictures of a friend for their birthday.

ENIKO — doesn't really take photos and also hates being in them. middy is literally the only person who can get away with it which is deeply embarrassing because he always looks so soft in her pictures whereas he's like, actively projecting Fuck Off Energies in everyone else's (bran's) photos

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

DAI — daichi is unbelievably patient, possibly to a fault. he sees it as not putting up a fight where one isn't necessary, but he tends to let people walk over him a little bit (insert earth genasi pun here). on the occasion that he does lose his temper, he tends to be really blunt about it (and ashamed like, immediately afterwards).

BRAN — as hotheaded as she is, bran tends to be even-keeled when it come to her temper. it's one of those leadership things, I think; you can't go off at your crew every time you're irritated. it also takes a fair bit to rile her up. she can get nasty when she's mean; I think she's pretty good at tearing people down and saying things that probably shouldn't be said (even if they're true, or especially because they're true). one of the things that gets under her skin the most is when sabine goes looking for trouble, and that mostly comes from fear. (I think probably, nine times out of ten, any of her temper comes from being afraid.)

ENIKO — doesn't have a temper so much as he has an eternal simmering disdain for most of the things and people around him. even when he's angry, it tends to bleed out as a constant sullen irritation more than anything else. there isn't really that much that he gets angry about. a bad deal, maybe. children in danger. on the occasion he works up a proper temper he's very cold and very still and very very sharp.

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

DAI — [me, trying desperately to remember the last time daichi was happy,,] he relaxes into it, gets really warm and open in his own quiet way. he doesn't make an attempt to hide it, but he doesn't need to broadcast it. he probably smiles more. I think he's got the sort of face where you can see the happiness on it without having to look hard.

BRAN — big smiles, big laughs, boisterous and cheerful. a happy bran is bright and a little teasing and a joy to be around. she might hum a little. I think she probably gets a little handsy, reaching out, trying to share some of that good mood. I like to imagine the crew seeing her in a good mood and perking up. (I think she probably tries to... not tone it down, but keep it softer around sabine. still smiling, still reaching, but gentler about it. careful with something so important.)

ENIKO — conceal don't feel etc. he has a tendency to quip more when he's in a good mood. he's not necessarily any nicer, but he'll play along, especially with people he likes. if you're lucky (or he's not paying attention (good luck finding him when he's not paying attention)) there's probably a soft blink-and-you'll-miss-it smile. he tends to look more his age; his edges get just a little bit softer when he's happy.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

DAI — dai is the sort of person who makes good first impressions in formal situations or to authorities and is kind of awkward in casual conversation. rip kid. he's kind and measured and tends to take refuge in rules of politeness, which can lend to him being more formal than a situation requires. that, or he clams up and lets someone else handle it, especially in group situations. he's getting better at speaking up, though!

BRAN — bran's first impressions vary greatly but they are, I cannot stress this enough, all an accurate reflection of branwen as a person. is she starting a bar fight in your tavern? is she hailing you unexpectedly on the road? is she pillaging your ship? is she striking up a casual conversation as you flee a city after exploding a prison? is she insulting someone rich and powerful who could have her and everyone else killed? all of these are branwen and all of these are accurate.

ENIKO — enikö very much does his best not to introduce himself unless absolutely necessary, and when he does it's brief and to the point, which is pretty accurate for him. his ideal first impression is no impression at all. he is not interested in getting to know you (unless it's for a job, in which case he is exactly as interested as he needs to be to get paid and/or protect himself) and he is certainly not interested in you getting to know him.

[lenniharrisonsims]

Healthy Lifestyle in Oasis Springs

This week, an article came out in SimStyle Magazine all about HM Queen Anastasia De La Cru and her daughter, HRH Princess Elizabeth, and their healthy lifestyle and habits.

The interview focused on the mother daughter duo and the choices they've made in order to live their healthiest lives, focusing on how their bodies feel and their mental health rather than numbers on a scale or tape measure.

(Interviewer Abbie Ibbotson questions the Queen and Princess about what brought them to this lifestyle)

Queen Anastasia (QA): so much of our lives is spent in the public eye, we're constantly being watched and commented on and critiqued for how we look and what we wear and whether or not we've gained five pounds-

Princess Elizabeth (PE): -and especially these days with social media shoving the ideal of The Perfect Body down our throats at all times-

QA: right! I actually remember, in university, a tabloid published an article about whether or not I was pregnant based on a single unflattering photo of me in my school sweater, and it broke me. I went home for the weekend and cried to my parents about how unfair it all was. And I remember my father [the late Tsar Alexei] sitting me down and telling me that, yes, it wasn't fair, but that I was beautiful no matter what I weighed or what the press thought or how I looked, and the only way to not let them win, was not to care.

Abbie Ibbotson, interviewer (AI): And so you just stopped caring?

QA: Well, no (laughs). Easier said than done! But I started going to therapy and focusing on how diet and exercise made me feel, rather than how I looked, and slowly over time, I found myself at the place I'm at now, happy with my body. You know, it's given birth to two kids and it likes chocolate cake more than it probably should (laughs) but it's my body and I love it.

AI: and it was the same for you, Your Royal Highness?

PE: I think every person struggles with self consciousness and body insecurity, so it would be lying to say that I've never had to deal with it, but I think it was made easier by having my mother as this role model for loving the body you're in and treating it fairly. You know, we've had long conversations about what our bodies are meant to do and how to fuel them effectively (and deliciously, she adds with a wink) in order to keep them running.

QA: What I want is, if we have to be in the public eye, if we have to have little girls and boys looking up to us, which, as the leaders of this country we do, then I want to be an example the can strive for- not to look like but to feel like. I want the kids, and adults too, who are watching us to know we felt the same struggles you feel, and we have found a way to love our bodies and treat them with care, and we hope you can too.

The interview continued with HM and HRH taking us downstairs in the palace where old storage rooms were converted into a home gym!

HM prefers long distance jogs on her treadmill and around the neighborhood...

... whereas HRH prefers muscle building activities like boxing, weightlifting, and yoga!

The mother and daughter then took us into the kitchen and showed us the delicious and colorful spread they had purchased from the local farmers market.

QA: We don't shy away from carbs in this house, and we don't count calories either.

PE: Mom likes to say, "the more colorful the plate, the better!"

QA: And we like to buy from the local farmers and small business owners wherever we can, so that while we're helping our bodies, we're also helping the local economy!

Thanks so much to HM Queen Anastasia and HRH Princess Elizabeth for welcoming us into their home and inspiring so many in Oasis Springs to live their healthiest and best lives!

[mr-entj]

Hi mr ENTJ. I really appreciate your writing style and your use of social medias (blogs/forum). Any tips regarding both ? Which may include your "DO / DON'T / What to keep in check online / Whatever you have in mind". Thank you !

Combined with the following ask:

Hi Mr.ENTJ, do you have any tips on ineternet hygiene? A lot of recruiters are looking candidates up these days and I’m wondering to what extent can I post my personal information online and how I should go about protecting myself digitally. On a side note, since you’re so popular, do you use a personal email or a different email for followers to contact you?

Thanks. As an FYI, it’s not only the recruiter who’ll do a light Google search for you, the background check company they hire can also dig deep into your internet footprint depending on the type of role you’re applying for and the required security clearances. Here’s an example of one of mine:

The background check report is generated and delivered to the employer after an offer is extended so there’s also a risk of having offers rescinded if they catch something negative about you later in the process.  

With that said, a few thoughts on internet best practices.

Don’t:

Write anything you wouldn’t want splashed on the front page of the New York Times. This sounds like common sense but based on what I’ve seen around the internet– not really– not at all. I know that most of my followers are in the high school and college phases of their lives so whatever’s written now seems to go into a vacuum that no one will see or care about. This is a wrong assumption to make. Maybe right now what you write isn’t relevant to anyone else but one day you’ll become someone of importance and those words can and will be used against you in the future. The reason why I’m impossible to bait into an argument on the internet is because I’m a mid-level executive who is poised to become a future c-suite executive. I would never gamble endless career opportunities and the financial security of my wife and family aka millions of dollars and equity to argue with internet people. Be mindful of your words, they have power.

Disappear from the internet. As in, don’t delete your social media accounts. 80% of employers Google potential candidates and not having an internet presence in 2018 is dodgy because it looks like you have something to hide. You’re not Jason Bourne and you’re not running from the CIA, it’s okay to Instagram yesterday’s dinner and today’s road trip. Just use common sense.

Do:

Google yourself. Check the first 2 pages of search results– that’s as far as recruiters will check before closing the window. If there’s anything unflattering, contact the website to remove the content and ask Google itself. Be prepared to explain to the employer if asked about any unflattering articles and links.

Generate positive accounts and search results. Do this by creating a LinkedIn profile, a personal website, and contributing essays and articles to large websites and publications. Anything with your full name on it will shoot straight to the top as a Google search result and push down less desirable search results.

Lock down all privacy settings. This applies to updates, photos, check-ins, and information you wouldn’t want a random stranger to come across. Be aware that most privacy leaks won’t come from you, they’ll come from your friends who have looser privacy settings. Disable tagging or limit their visibility into your information.

Post photos of dogs. The internet needs more of them.

I use a different email for Tumblr followers to send me documents to review (resumes, CVs, cover letters, personal statements, etc.). The reason behind my anonymity on Tumblr has nothing to do with how I feel about my Tumblr followers. From my experiences, you’re good people, and I enjoy interacting with everyone. It’s more about controlling my privacy and access to my personal information. If you want to enter my house– you’ll need to knock first– the door won’t be left wide open.

[treadmilltreats]

Stop being haters

Recently I heard a story about Yung Joc, in case you don't know who he is, he is  a DJ, radio host, Tv personality and rapper. Well the story came out when someone was in an Uber and recognized him as her driver. She immediately started to video him, all while asking him all these questions about why he of all people was an Uber driver.

She only did this to call him out and what was her motivation? Well it's obvious she wanted her 5 minutes of fame and she was a hater. Look leave the man alone, he was trying to make extra money doing something legal and why would you try to shame a man for that?

We should applaud men like that, hustlers out there trying to make it, not shame them. Would it have been better if he was the man who sold you your dime bag? Why call him out like that? That's what is wrong with people today, everyone wants their 5 minutes of fame and will do anything to get it .

Remember the story about the ex-Cosby Show actor who got job-shamed for working at a Trader Joe's? Well, he got the last laugh of being a hardworking man when it backfired on the hater that outed him. Tyler Perry heard the story and hired Geoffrey Owens after he was outed by a shopper who shared unflattering photos that went viral of the actor bagging groceries. Since then, the classically trained actor, who portrayed the Huxtables' son-in-law, Elvin, has been sifting through numerous other offers, including one by Nicki Minaj to give him $25,000.

Ha! Screw you hater! Karma is a bitch! You thought you would get your 5 minutes of fame by shaming this man for providing for his family any way he could and won't God do it! Here he is on one of the top rated television shows now because your pettiness backfired 

I never laugh or judge others because of their hustle because I know the hustle is real. My parents taught me that lesson, they both worked full time jobs and after work they would work on our old broken down farmhouse. My dad did side jobs as well as working and fixing our house. I always worked even when I went to college full time. I  held down a full time job and hustled by doing hair on the side.

While I was married I worked whatever business we owned, I also took care of 100 lizards 30 sugar gliders and 12 ferrets we bred, feeding them every day. Then I would cook and clean the house, take care of 2 small kids and when they went to bed, I did hair at night.

When I got divorced people asked me how do you work so hard? To me it wasn't hard, at least I didn't have to clean the pool or cut the grass anymore and I could come home after working 10 hours to a peaceful home and know that I am finally happy.

Yes, I work a lot, I own a professional organizing and personal assistant business, I have 3 salons I run and work in, I do hair at home and I do focus groups to make extra cash. I also volunteer at church and spend time with family and friends. I hustle, that is what I do.

Hard work doesn't scare me, I was raised to do what it takes to make it. Just like these two men were, there is no shame in your game when you are trying to provide a roof over your families head. You do what you gotta do. I would never shame someone or look down on someone who cleans toilets, or picks crops or what others would call demeaning jobs because I know the struggle is real. They will do whatever it takes to feed their children and I applaud them, they are not asking for a hand out or doing anything illegal so mind your own dam business.

So today people, stop being haters, stop trying to shame people for hustling, for trying to make a better life for themselves. Stop worrying about your 5 minutes of fame by degrading others, worry about your own "perfect" life and then remember this….

"He who has no sins cast the first stone" 

"Be the change you want to see"

 

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Now released my latest book**

The Blessing in Disguise.... revealed

https://www.amazon.com/Blessing-Disguise-Revealed-story-faith/dp/1074340493/ref=sr_1_19?keywords=the+blessing+in+disguise&qid=1561392004&s=books&sr=1-19

***Now available***

My 1st book The blessing in Disguise 

Selling on my website:

Http://www.treadmilltreats.com

And on Amazon.com

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