#also you may be wondering why i chose rib tattoos when they hurt so much. and the answer is because if i went for the most painful

[cemeterything]

hey man, what kind of tattoos do you have if you don't mind me asking?

two dragons on my left ribcage and the sagittarius constellation on my right. i kinda dgaf about the constellation anymore, it was my first tattoo and at the time i just wanted to get a tattoo to prove to myself that i could more than i cared about the design, so i figured i might as well go with something that reflected me as a person, and my star sign seemed like a safe choice, because even if i grew out of it (which i did) it's harmless and not too specific. plus it's not that big or complex, so if i really wanted to i could probably get a coverup to replace it. but the dragons i will love forever. i even named them (annie and mallory).

[ac-ars]

all your colors start to burn

this is a mess and an au no one needs until they see it, well at least me and two (2) other people

im sure it’s very obvious how much i wanted to stab myself while writing it since i have not been able to write recently, but welp this had to happen so dont really expect any miracles or proofreading lol

all your colors start to burn

Luna takes deep breath and pushes the door slightly, blessing the fact that it’s not that heavy. She looks around immediately and it’s dark, but not this creepy dark, it’s actually nice and despite all the creeps the whole idea gives her, she is set on doing this. She stops when the door behind her closes with small thump and she can only look around. 

There are drawings hanging on black walls in some order; it’s like lowkey mess, but somehow it’s logical, silver frames are all the same, no matter if the picture is bigger or smaller. All of them are black and white, there is no color and it’s intimidating Luna since she’s not used to lack of it, the longer she watches the drawings, the more intense they get. Music in the background is sure, powerful and completely not Luna’s style. The guitar is too harsh just like the singing voice, yet the melody makes it bearable and that’s all she needs right now.

Someone clears their throat and she looks towards the counter. It’s not that high, but there’s a guy sitting by it and watching her intently. Luna is speechless in a second, all her courage decides to leave by tiny gap under the door. She sees a black t-shirt, too big, too loose for him, but that seems to be done on purpose. The collar is weirdly worn, like it has survived too many careless takings off and yet the guy still makes it look good. His arms are completely covered with ink; one is big geometric theme while the other has some smaller singular tattoos, Luna can even see few constellations there and some letters, but they are unreadable from this distance.

Dark eyes scan her continuously with this weird glint from under the glasses before he smiles lazily, and chuckles shaking his head softly and making his short curls bounce with grace. He bites on the pencil and leans his chin on his hand still grinning, and suddenly Luna feels like an alien in this light sundress, surrounded by black.

The guy lets out small, soft sigh and asks her with completely careless tone. “Did you get lost, miss?”  

She pouts and approaches him, stopping by the counter and trying to focus on not staring at him. He looks even more interesting when he is close, but that’s not a point here.

“No. I’m not lost,” she just says, hoping it sounded surely, but his smile widens up and she feels like a kid trying to buy a wine.

“Then what made you enter this very dark place, hm?” he points at her with his chin and Luna just blushes. She simply blushes not sure why, this is a mess and she just came here for a reason with set goal.

“Listen,” she starts, resting her hands on the counter and her fingers automatically proceed to nervous fidgeting. The guy chuckles at this. “Come on, calm down. I won’t bite you despite the fact I may look like that.” Luna just rolls her eyes.

“I want a tattoo, obviously.”

He snorts. “Is your mom okay with that?” She opens her mouth wide, completely offended, but tries to chill with small breaths. “I’m adult person. And I’m sure you shouldn’t, despite how young I look, make fun of me. That was just rude and disrespectful.”

The guy nods, takes off his glasses and brushes his face with his hand. Luna keeps glaring at him, not sure why she even chose this place. Probably because google told her it’s one of the best here, yet it didn’t warn her against asshole tattoo artists.

He sighs dramatically. “I’m sorry. Okay, I believe you, but I’m working here too long to not ask you for ID or whatever. I mean I ask everyone, so that’s just formality now.”

Luna nods and just reaches to her purse for the wallet without saying anything. She places her students ID on the counter and slides it towards him, watching how his fingers take it and how his nose scrunches making his glasses lowkey fall down his nose. He somehow tries to find something for her, of course he does, because he is acting ridiculous since the very moment she entered the place and doesn’t really believe that she’s been done with teen years for few months already.

When he keeps staring at it anxiously Luna just sighs and lowkey throws at him her driver’s license, giving him two more minutes before she will turn away and leave to some other place. He looks at her and smiles sheepishly, reaching his hand to his nape to scratch it slightly and showing another part of his covered in ink arm by the way. Luna hopes she won’t be forced to leave; if any part of the drawings on the walls is his and he made projects of those he has on his arms she actually thinks he won’t fuck up her small one, besides she would be able to stare at him and this doesn’t require him talking.

Eventually, he sends her another awkward look. “Okay. I’m sorry for being rude. I promise I will be nice now.”

Luna sighs. “Are you having this conversation with every short girl entering this place?” He shakes his head softly, apparently he likes to does it no matter if he’s denying something or is just amused.

“Not really.” He shrugs biting the pencil again and looking at her while Luna just counts the time, wondering if she can leave already or that would be mean. She opens her mouth to just thank him and go, but the very same second he takes a paper and scribbles Luna’s name in the left upper corner.

“I see you really wanna go so I gotta hurry up. Is it gonna be your first tattoo?” Suddenly he turns serious and focused, but she waits for the moment when he gets easy and flirty again.

“Yes, yes.” She just answers and he hums, fixing his sit on the chair a little. “Well then, I think it should be small one, I mean it’s your tattoo so you can decide, but first time you’re not really used to the fact that it can hurt.”

Luna nods resting her elbows on the counter and zones out while looking at her name on the paper until she wakes up when he asks something. “What?”

He smiles at her lazily, once again and she notices this lovely, soft dimple in his left cheek. “Questions, do you have any questions before we start figuring out how to ink you?”  

She loses like half of her chill when he says that with this careless, low voice that makes her shiver and Luna guesses that if he can make fun of her, she can too.

“I have like one, is there something you just don’t do? Also just tell me your name, because it’s weird that you know mine and I don’t know yours.”

He chuckles fixing the glasses on his nose as they keep falling. “My name is Matteo and thanks for reminding about that, I’m just… lowkey distracted today. Sorry again.” She smiles softly when he messes his hair and continues. “I don’t really tattoo in color, I guess it doesn’t work for me. Why?”

Luna pretends to be very disappointed. “Oh, that’s sad. So my dreams of this big, red dragon on my back will have to wait.”

Matteo stares at her frozen as if she already had the red dragon on her face and she just keeps the look until he blinks surprised. Now she’s not able to stop herself and she snorts. “I was joking, don’t worry. I want just tiny sun tattooed. No colors.”

He lets out small breath of relief making her giggle at this, and starts doodling something, probably her sun. “Where do you want to have it?”

“On the left side, on the ribs, I guess.” Luna just shrugs, still not sure if left or right.

Matteo hisses, biting on his lower lip. “Oh baby, that’s gonna really hurt you,” he mumbles and she pouts a little ignoring the way he just called her. “How much?”

“I don’t know how to describe it, but let’s just say that very, very much. You shouldn’t get first tattoo in such place.” His lips move into thin line and she sighs. “But it will be small so will it really be that bad?”

“You really want it to be there, don’t you?” Matteo looks at her with cute smile and she can’t really do anything except smiling back and nodding. “Okay then,” he sighs raising his hands up, as if he’s giving up. “we can try, it’s your pain, not mine after all.” Luna rolls her eyes but takes it. “When can it be, like the date?”

“That’s a good question you are asking me here, wait a second,” he says reaching for the calendar, letting Luna appreciate the muscles by the way, and flips through it for a moment. “How about Saturday in two weeks, 9 AM?”

She hums, trying to remember if she has anything to do at this time, but it’s Saturday so no uni, it’s morning so no work yet. “Yeah, yes this works. I should give you my number now, right?”

Matteo chuckles, “you are a straightforward one, I see. Anyway, yes. Your number.” She scrunches her nose, but just gives it to him, and when he closes the notebook he pulls the chair from behind him and smirks. “Come on, we gotta figure out your sun so it’s pretty and hurts the least possible, am I wrong?”

She checks the time on her phone before entering the place ten minutes to nine and almost bumps into tall guy with curly hair. He frowns at her confused, but steps aside, so she can get into without a problem.

“Um, hi,” Luna mumbles, not sure what else to do.

He frowns even more, but chills few seconds later. “Do you need anything?” This is much better welcome than last time she was here. He is wearing a simple, white tshirt, which is contrasting with the whole place so much, Luna feels it almost fresh. One of his forearms is tattooed plus she can see some black ink peeking from under his tshirt on his nape.

“I was, you know-” she starts rambling and stuttering, suddenly all messy. “The tattoo- nine am, Matteo-”

The guy snorts softly shaking his head and making Luna wonder if it’s not annoying that his hair is hitting his face all the time. He raises his arms and crosses them on top of his head, lowkey flexing the muscles. “Balsano!,” he yells, “hurry up your ugly ass, your sungirl is here.”

Luna almost chokes, not sure why but this seems ridiculous as hell. One, the fact that she was called a sungirl, and two, maybe she didn’t see Matteo’s ass last time, but she is sure it’s not any close to ugly.

She blushes with her thoughts, but the same second she hears loud-quiet ‘What?’ from some other room in the place, and the curly guy standing next to her rolls his eyes. Luna sighs and just mumbles: “It’s okay, I am too early anyway. I can wait here.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to carry him to you so he can pretty-tattoo you?” The guy frowns again and she giggles, because it seems like he likes to frown, or many things are ridiculous to him.

The brunette smiles and nods softly, extending her hand and hoping it’s not weird or some shit. “I’m Luna actually. Luna.” She repeats, so he doesn’t call her any names anymore.

He takes her hand and his sure grip distracts her a little while she is wondering if he works here; if yes it’s probably a rule in this place that weird, edgy and hot guys work here only.

“I’m Ramiro, this is my actual name, no matter what Balsano tells you.” He mentions is probably Matteo and Luna hums, not sure again what to do now. Ramiro seems to notice that she is uncomfy and points at the couch by one of the walls. “Sit there if you can and wait, he is cleaning the stuff after last person, so it should be all ready for 9.”

She smiles at him again and he sends her quick wink before disappearing in the other room. When it’s like two minutes before nine she hears footsteps, what makes her raise her eyes towards the counter just to see Matteo checking his phone by the counter. After that he looks at her finally, she feels like she has waited two centuries before he finally moves his dark look to her and smirks. He looks really, really good in this red tshirt, and Luna is a mess.

Matteo brushes together his hands. “Are you ready?”

The brunette nods and gets up, checking if she has her phone in back pocket, before approaching him not being able to smile. “I wouldn't really say that I'm ready, but I'm the most ready I could be, I guess.”

He chuckles softly. “Sure thing. Don't you have anyone to hold your hand or something?” Luna sighs shaking her head and staring at him as he is eyeing her up and down slowly.

“I hope I don't look like underage today,” she pouts at his immediate smirk and shakes her head.

“Oh come on, everyone sometimes does something dumb.”

She crosses her arms and makes slightly bitter face, not sure why but wanting to banter with him just a little longer. “They say well begun is half done, don’t they?” Matteo looks down after snorting softly and Luna feels definitely better. He wants to say something, but someone interrupts them.

“Not that I wanna cut in, but I think we all are ready. Balsano, champion, she is as pretty as you said, but chill your storm in your teacup.” Ramiro rolls his eyes and claps his hands few times before he leaves again.

Luna feels how her cheeks get warm, not sure what to focus on right now. On the fact that Matteo said that she was pretty; or at least told the other guy about her, or on his face which seems lowkey awkward now and she actually finds it cute.

He sighs and looks at her. “Let’s go.”

She follows him into the other room, the one where Ramiro disappeared before and she notices immediately that it’s as black as the earlier one, with the difference that there is bright, white light everywhere. It almost blinds her, but she manages to look around. The drawings are present here as well, in the same frames and it’s super weird; owner of this place is either a psycho or someone who loves silver frames. Or both.

Matteo goes to the desk with all weird tattoo stuff Luna has no idea how to name since she’s never really cared about tattoos before. Now she just wants to have one and keep not caring, because it’s very easier, and all this shit seems complicated. After very dramatic putting on the gloves he turns to her with small paper with her sun and looks at her seriously, yet with tiny sparkle of amusement in his eyes. “This is the one, isn’t it?”

Luna nods. “This exactly. I thought we were sure last time I was here.” He hums softly. “Yes, but I have to make sure that you are sure. Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“It is gonna stay there forever.” It feels like he is trying to break her with his look, but she doesn’t want to give up here. It’s her forever.

She shrugs. “That’s what I want here, if I wanted to play I would have gone to get henna.” Her eye-roll apparently entertaining him and Luna wonders if he ever gets annoyed by something else than Ramiro.

“Okay, so where exactly are we making it?” Matteo hums with small smirk, asking her softly, and Luna can only ride her tshirt up. He is completely casual about that what makes sense, he makes tattoos on people daily so what’s a part of skin? She points at the small area on her ribs on left side, which would be just under the bra line, if only she had a bra today. He smiles and presses the design to her skin and slowly leads her towards this one big mirror on the wall. She looks at the reflection with tiny hum and rests her fingers to his hand, moving it a little more to her side instead of her front.

“Here.”

Matteo nods and takes the design away. “Well, sit down, or I would recommend lying down as comfy as you are. And take your tshirt somehow, so it won’t fall or interrupt during the process, you know what I mean.”

The mirror covers almost whole wall and she stares at the reflection of the entire room. Matteo adjusted this weird, comfy chair so she could lie down no matter how weird it felt, plus he sat down behind her so now she can see him all. Her hair she pulled in the high ponytail before leaving the home got slightly messy, but it still doesn’t really mess with anything. She tied her tshirt few centimeters above the place of her tattoo, the only way to keep it up without it being weird.

Matteo seems to be focused, which means no flirty comments, or smirks or even dumb smiles which is not that reassuring and Luna guesses she will probably die or, at the very best, pass out here. He’s done all shit to prepare her skin for the tattooing itself, telling her all about whatever he was doing and it was calming her down. Now he is quiet and she is this tiny ball of nerves, regretting not bringing Simón here (not that she would want to come here with him and let someone think they are any couply) or someone else who would at least talk to her and distract.

He takes this weird thingy which second later ends up being a weird needle; not that Luna is scared of them, but somehow she is stressed about this very needle, which will probably hurt like a bitch. Luna keeps watching his hands and trying to chill and hating on this whole situation so much.

“Can you talk to me?” She ends up asking and he smiles at her with little frown as he reaches for the machine. “What do you want me to talk then?”

“I don’t know. Whatever, just distract me.”

Matteo chuckles putting the needle into the machine and sighs. “Don’t worry, we will try to not kill you today.” Luna gives him concerned look in the mirror between throwing glances at his hands, because the speed of his fingers in such a simple action surprises her more than anything today, what makes him only more amused. “But really, I will be as gentle as I can, so it will hurt less than it would if the curly ass tattooed you.”

He takes the jelly from the desk and applies it on her skin with slow moves, Luna focuses on it and sighs. “How much can I trust you in this?”

“I have been making tattoos for like 5 years, so I had enough time to practice how to hurt people less.” She giggles at this and he stops her from moving with his hand on her waist. “Okay now we gotta focus.”

The brunette bites on her lower lip when he wipes the jelly off his gloves with paper towel and takes the tattoo machine with sure grip. “Now we are calm, we don’t move and we have to breathe normally. Okay?”

She likes the way he talks to her. With this soft voice while looking at her and no matter what he would be saying, she would still like that and embrace it completely. She has to force herself to focus on what he is talking to her, not how he is doing that and that’s actually difficult after him using we instead of you, and Luna feels more reassured than scared right now, so maybe it won’t be that bad.

Matteo explains her why he used the jelly and how the whole machine works, which Luna is impossibly grateful for, before reminding her to breathe once again. Then, he turns on the machine; the sound is lowkey annoying and she’s not sure if she will be able to hear him if she wants to ask something, but well, they will see that.

She turns her head back to look at him, and he just winks at her. “Don’t worry, it’s just a tiny needle. It can’t really hurt you, just sting and annoy and try to focus on the annoying part. Plus we are just outlining here, no shading or coloring so that won’t be long.”

This weird noise isn’t the best thing to listen to, but could be worse and it could be louder so Luna doesn’t complain. Matteo smiles at her as he takes single paper towel sheet and sighs. “Ready?”

She nods and the needle touches her skin.

“And no long baths, no swimming pools or anything like this. Just don’t let it get wet, okay?” He asks while finishing bandaging her skin and Luna tries to take a breath; doesn’t really hurt so that’s a success she guesses. She can only nod at that, because it stings. It stings like a bitch and she has no idea how long it will keep stinging, but she can’t find any words to ask Matteo about that.

The only thing Luna is able to do it thinking of his soft hands making sure that all her side with tattoo is safe and covered, and later watching him how he gets rid of the ink, and the needle, and everything he used with her. He gets up, still talking, and takes off the black gloves in swift motion before throwing them into trash carelessly.

“If it, by some accident or whatever, gets infected, just go to the doctor. You will get antibiotics and it shouldn’t be that bad.” She smiles softly; he seems to be rambling like this. Maybe he tells that to everyone, but the light tone of his voice seems to be somehow unusual and little faster than the very first time she had talked to him.

Matteo washed his hands twice before going back to her and frowning a bit. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m good.” And she actually is, not sure if she can get up without her knees shaking, but decides to try and, fortunately, her legs don’t give up.

“You are pale.” He pouts a little and Luna shakes her head. “It’s nothing, I’m great really. Ar you always so protective over people who you sting with needles?” She asks teasingly, with intention of changing the topic, and he catches it.

“No, no. I’m trying to be nice, because I don’t want you to faint on your way home and sue me, of course.” Obviously.

The brunette giggles, still looking at him. “So you know that one can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? Next time you should start being nice as soon as you see someone entering the studio.”

Matteo’s eyes almost light up in amusement. “Maybe, but I am neither honey nor vinegar. And you definitely aren’t a fly, my dear.” Despite his words, his voice does feel seems like sweet, warm honey and she can’t get out of his little charm for few seconds, until he speaks again. “Besides, we all make mistakes and I’ve seen too many cases of girls looking older than you while being younger than you, so don’t judge me, please.” He sighs, looking around. “I would love to stay and chat more, but I gotta clean around and you probably have someone to show your pretty tattoo to. Are you sure you remember all stuff you gotta do and not do with this?” He asks raising his eyebrow and Luna nods slightly few times.

“Perfect then. If you ever decide you want another one or something, I will give you some discount. Just remember to mention me or the curly head if there is someone else.” He says nodding his head at the back.

The brunette sends him a smile. “Thanks. That sounds nice. And I guess next time will be in some place that won’t hurt like hell.”

“That’s a very great idea. See you around then. Soon, I hope.” He winks at her and she nods confused, trying to hide her blush, and turns around, walking towards the exit and feeling his eyes softly curling around her body. It feels weird, but she somehow likes it and doesn’t really look back.

Luna takes deep breath and opens the door with small push, knowing already she doesn’t need to use more strength and smiles to herself. Matteo is drawing again, too focused this time to notice her until she rests her elbow on the counter. He raises his eyes at her and smirks slightly.

“Already want new one? That was quicker than I thought.”

The brunette shakes her head softly and her hair tickles her cheeks. “Not really. At least today. Today I want something else.”

[hollygopossumlovesj2]

Come Back Down, Part 16

(Gif found on Google. Credit goes to maker. Not mine.)

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Rating/Warnings: NC-17; Smut and schmoop. Literally this entire chapter is sex with lots of feelings. If you don’t like that, feel free to skip. If you do, grab a glass of wine, relax and let it happen.

Summary: Jensen shows you how much he loves you and tells you why. In graphic detail.

A/N: I was gonna post this later this week, but I was too excited to wait. I hope you guys like it. Feedback is like finding a $20 dollar bill in the couch you didn’t expect to be there. I love it! Also, please don’t send me Danneel hate. I needed a villain.

Come Back Down Master List

Hollygopossum’s Master List

Our eyes locked as I crawled backwards down the bed. A sharp stab of lust shooting through me at the sight of her plump bottom lip trapped between her teeth.

I slid my hands slowly up her shins, over the soft skin behind her knees to finally grip the back of her thighs and spread them as far as they would comfortably go. I telegraphed every intent as I laid down and began pressing chaste kisses to the inside of her thighs. They soon progressed to open mouthed, dirty ones as I tried to memorize the taste of her soft skin under my tongue.

 Her hips bucked, a thin whine slipping through her clenched teeth as my breath ghosted over her center. She was soaking wet and I could smell her, a salty sweet scent that made my mouth water.

I nosed along the ticklish crease between her thigh and groin, inhaling deeply just to tease us both. Her musky scent mixed with her wisteria scented body wash and I groaned at how much I wanted to taste it.

She sighed my name as her fingers threading through the longer hair on the top of my head. She was just resting there for now, but I looked forward to the sting of it when she was out of her mind with pleasure. My scalp was a little known hot button, one that Danneel had never even tried to discover. It was at that thought I realized why sex with Y/N was so revolutionary. There was real emotion here, a feeling that I was connected to her in more ways than one. I shook my head to rid myself of the comparison. Danneel had no place here on this bed.

I enthusiastically parted her lips with my thumbs, enjoying the shiver of want I saw course through her body as I took in the view before me. She was shiny with slick and swollen already and the sight slammed me with want, causing me groan deep in my chest.

Just before I lowered my lips to take a taste, our eyes connected again. “You’re beautiful, sweetheart.” I whispered and didn’t pause for a reaction, the need to taste and give her pleasure was too overwhelming to put off sinking my tongue into her folds.

Her gasp of surprise turned into a throaty moan as her taste exploded across my tongue. I couldn’t help the groan that accompanied the dirty, wet sounds of my mouth as I licked and savored her, getting lost in her taste and the feel of her heat against my mouth.

I teased for a moment, dragging my tongue through her hot core and touching everywhere but her clit. Her hips bucked so hard as she looked for friction that I had to hold her down with my forearm. My words were muffled as I sucked on her lips, but I spoke loud enough for her to hear. “I love the way you feel when I’m so deep inside you that your ass presses into my thighs and your walls pulse along with your heart beat. How you fit so snug around me, like you don’t want to let me go.” Her fingers clenched and unclenched in my hair as she moaned. The way her breath was riddled with gasps and whines is intoxicating. She was making my pulse race, but I was only getting started.

The second my mouth left her she whined, her hands dropping to the side to fist her sheets. Although, this time, she was more overcome than frustrated. I soothed my hands over the tops of her thighs in a placating motion before I set the rest of my idea into motion. “You’re perfect.” My lips felt bruised and swollen as I mumbled into the skin covering her hip bone, nibbling and sucking a mark there.

Her scoff got stuck in her throat as I nosed across her mound until I reached the opposite hip bone to make a matching red mark there. I couldn’t touch her enough, so I smoothed my hands up and down her sides and belly, mapping the way before I placed kisses there. She flinched a couple of times, a playful smile quirking her lips, as the contact tickled.

“I love your belly.” She twitched, her hips bucking occasionally as I spoke directly into her skin. “I love that you have an iron stomach. You don’t get squeamish at illness or blood. You don’t make me feel like a bio hazard when I’m sick. I love how you take care of me.” I nuzzled and kissed her warm body, never staying in one spot, filled with the need to press the love I felt for her into her skin. “I love that you go with your gut feeling and intuition.”

She smoothed her hands lovingly over my shoulders and neck pushed into her hands like a cat, and if I were capable of purring I would, She was calming down a little as she ran her fingers through my hair, but soon I’d be riling us both back up. Moving on to her ribs, I traced the line of her ‘love her but leave her wild’ tattoo. She hummed in approval, her finger tips moving to the short hair on my neck.

I placed a few kisses there when I was done, “I love how independent you are and how you’ve made this amazing life for yourself all on your own. I love how you followed your dreams and chose your own path no matter what happened in your life.”

I felt a rush of affection when she blushed, realizing that what made this meaningful was that I didn’t have to embellish or think too hard about what to say. The thoughts came easy and I hoped that she understood that.

I spared a little attention to her breasts. “You know I love these. They’re the perfect handful.” I nuzzled the underside of each one, making her giggle and twitch before I began pressing wet, open mouthed kisses all over them. Her hips twitched up and her giggle slipped into a needy moan when I finally took one of her nipples into my mouth.

Her legs moved restlessly, her thigh accidentally rubbing against my dick in the most delicious way. I ground down, searching for a little relief, groaning loudly into her wet skin when I found it.

Reluctantly, I moved on, pressing kisses along the way until I settled to suck a mark into the center of her chest. I’d intended to drive her crazy with teasing while I hopefully got through that thick skull of hers how wonderful I thought she was, but I was torturing myself, too. Fine tremors moved through me as I fought the urge to drop the whole thing and ravage her.

When I finally gained enough control to speak, it came out breathy and rough. “And your heart. I love your heart because it’s so big. You’ve been through so much, been hurt so many times but you’ve never given up on me. Even when I’ve given up on myself.”

Her hand sifting through my hair and her soft expression was too much. If I stared too long, I would turn this into something else entirely. However, I had a point to make, so I continued on by kissing and nibbling across her collar bone and neck on the path to her ear.

I breathed through the waves of pleasure hitting me as my dick smeared a wet strip of precome across her hip with each movement. She bucked up to meet me, her arms encircling my back and pulling me even closer as she whispered my name into my neck.

Goose bumps erupted all over my body as her breath ghosted against my sweat damp skin, lighting my nerves on fire. “You have no… no idea what you do to me.” I nosed around the sensitive skin around her ear, trying to collect myself. “You have no idea how hard it is to resist you.”

“Then don’t.”

“Nope.” I kind of grumbled and groaned out in a very nonsexy way as I pulled my knees beneath me so I wouldn’t be tempted every time she moved. “I’m sure you wanna hear why I love your ears, right?” She nibbled a teasing bite to my shoulder but said nothing. “I love your ears because they’ve listened to 16 years of my good times and bad times without ever telling me I was stupid for feeling a certain way.”

“I may have told you that you were being stupid a couple of times…” She mumbled against my shoulder, a bit of humor in her tone.

“Only when I needed you to.” I sat up, crouching over her hips, and she took the opportunity to tease her fingers lightly over my throbbing, red cock. “You don’t play fair.” I gasped out and smiled wickedly as I took in her flushed cheeks. I smoothed my thumbs gently over her cheeks and then her eyelids, encouraging them to close. “I love your eyes.” I whispered, lightly kissing each one while I cradled her face in both hands. “Because of the different way you see the world. The way that you see me like no one else ever has.”

“You’re saying I’m an oddball, just in a nice way…”

One eye brow was arched and I paused to kiss it before I kissed her forehead, temples and even the top of her head. It caused her to laugh a little at how cheesy and ridiculous I was being.

I wasn’t really bothered by my current mushy status. It was Y/N that inspired me to act like a lovesick fool, so it only made me smile harder with fondness burning in my chest.

“You are odd, sweetheart… But you’re also unique and individual. You stand out in the best of ways.” The words muffled as I nuzzled into her sweet smelling hair, “I love your brain and your thoughts and ideas. You come up with so many things that I would never think of. The shots you take with your camera are genius.” I nibbled her nose and she flinched away with a slightly perturbed expression on her face. “You’re so damn smart.”

She was incredibly uncomfortable with the praise by now, her body shifting restlessly. “Please Jay, no more teasing?” She was on the verge of tears again and I couldn’t tell now if they were because she was happy or more upset.

I locked eyes with her as my fingers traced over the features on her beautiful face, “I love every bit of you, do you understand? And even the idea of you not understanding how perfect you are…” I finally gave in, laying my completely turned on body against hers so that our lips were only inches apart. “It hurts.”

Her lips were immediately desperate against mine, either overcome with emotion or desperate for me to stop talking. It could’ve been either one as I opened my mouth to her questing tongue with a moan. I was torn between letting her take control and continuing with my plan. Her body was insistent against mine, her hands mapping new paths across my skin.

But once again, somehow a brain cell was allowed to function as I remembered my initial plan. “Y/N wait.” I mumbled, pushing up to hover over her. She was now flush all the way down her neck into her chest, her lips kiss swollen and wet. Her bottom lip trapped between her teeth. Her y/c/e eyes were pleading with me not to tease anymore. “No more teasing,” I kissed the tip of her nose, “I promise.”

I wasted no time before I settled myself back between her thighs and dove in with enthusiasm. I immediately latched onto her clit, lightly sucking and groaning as I savored her flavor and the way she pushed back into my face. “Fuck, Jay! Fuck!” Her hands were buried in my hair and twisting before I knew it, sending bright flashes of want straight to my cock.

“Fuck you taste so good, sweetheart.” I lapped at her lips, creating a completely absurd wet sound with my tongue. She practically screamed my name when my tongue was buried as deep as it could go, massaging her walls with wide strokes.

Between her steel grip in my hair and her hips pushing into my face, she was riding me, and I was enjoying this more than I ever had before. She was out of control from being teased for so long, her body intent on getting pleasure as her actions pressed my nose into her clit. Her movements soon became shaky, her hips rolling in an erratic rhythm as her moans became a higher pitch.

She was repeating my name over and over, sending sparks of pleasure that were incinerating my nerves and self control. Her grip wasn’t so tight that I couldn’t pull back for a breath before diving back in, and I growled words that I knew vibrated all the way up her spine as I gripped her ass to encourage her. “That’s it sweetheart, ride my face. So fucking hot, baby.”

And that’s all it took before her body tensed all over and my mouth was met with a gush of slick as she screamed my name. I worked her through her orgasm, savoring her taste, but never slowing my ministrations. Instead, I added a finger alongside my tongue to her hot center, thrusting in and stretching until she could take a second one.

She was sobbing words that I couldn’t make out. Her thighs shaking and pressing around my ears as I latched onto her clit and sucked as I crooked my fingers just right. It only took a few more strokes of my fingers inside her before she came again, causing a throaty, fucked out moan from her throat and causing me to thrust harshly against the bed a few times to take the edge off. She was so fucking hot.

She was shaking all over and out of breath when I paused a moment to nuzzle her breasts, causing her to gasp before I continued on my way. I settled my weight between her legs and took her lips in a dirty kiss, groaning at the feeling of satisfaction of having her skin flush against mine. At this point, I was afraid that one more twitch from her body and it would all be over before I got to finish this properly.

Her moan was muffled as she pushed hard into my mouth and her hands slid over my back and ass, fingers pressing into skin with too much fervor to be soothing. “Need you, Jay. Please?” Her eyes were glassy and blown wide, her face and neck flush and sweaty from her two very recent orgasms and I felt a deep sense of pride alongside my desperate need.

I smoothed her wild hair out of her face, hands stopping to cup her neck and cheek in my hands. “What do you want, love? Do you want my mouth? My fingers?” It was a genuine question, the desire to take her apart with pleasure my only goal.

Her fingers dug into the skin of my shoulders as her legs wrapped around my waist. Her grip wasn’t enough to draw blood, but enough to get across her frustration and want. “Need your cock, Jensen. Please fuck me?”

Pure lust and possessiveness slammed into me, forcing a surprised huff of breath to gasp from deep in my chest and stealing the rest of my oxygen as if I’d been kicked in the abdomen. My cock twitched against her stomach, blurting precome and adding to the rather impressive amount of fluid that I’d already leaked onto her skin. “Oh fuck, Y/N.” It made it even sexier to know that this wasn’t an attempt at dirty talk, it was a bare honest plea.

I didn’t waste any more time before I was slowly sinking into her, surrounding myself in her wet, tight heat. I let my face fall to her shoulder, my entire body shaking as I willed myself to go slow, holding myself back from just slamming into her and taking. I was barely hanging on, my breath panting out like I’d just ran a marathon instead of pleasure my girlfriend.

Her hands turned gentle again, moving easily over me due to the sweat forming over my skin. She started pressing open mouthed kisses over my neck and shoulder, occasionally sucking bruises there that tested my control. But then, she started to talk, her breath a little choppy and warm in my ear and causing goosebumps to raise everywhere.

“I love you, Jay. I love the teenager you were but I fucking love the man you’ve become.” Her breath was hitching in her chest, her body shuddering with pleasure with every inch I slid into her. “You’re so brave and strong and loving. You’re everything I didn’t think I needed until you kissed me, Jay. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

We both moaned as I bottomed out, my balls resting comfortably nestled against the soft skin of her ass, our panting breath’s nearly synchronized. My heart thumping double time, a heavy feeling of love that was almost too painful in response to her words spreading in my chest. She was holding me tight, even though I was pressing my entire weight against her. It was just like her to feel like she needed to pull her weight in everything, even sex.

“Please.” She was moving her hips, her head rolling back and forth, caught up in the pleasure.

“Please, what?” I teased, receiving a halfhearted glare for my trouble. Her arms clamped down as well as her core, causing my hips to roll and a growl to rumble in my chest. “Fuck, sweetheart.”

I knew once I started to move it would be over, but I couldn’t resist anymore. Especially when she pressed her heels into my ass. I worked my way up into a steady pace before I tucked my face into her neck, sucking the skin there to muffle the out of control moans rising up in my throat. My moans were muffled, but I could hear hers loud and clear.

I dragged in a ragged breath when breathing through my nose didn’t suffice. I felt my orgasm building, and knew at any moment I was going to lose it. I didn’t want to come without her. I wrapped my arms around her, one hand cradling beneath her head and holding her to my shoulder. I tucked my thighs beneath her ass so that I sank deeper and she rolled her hips, pushing down to draw me in.

I wasn’t able to pull out very far, but the feeling of being entirely surrounded by her like this, as I slammed back in, was incredible. “Jay I-!” She pulled away from me so that she could see my face, her expression rosy and pained. “Oh, fuck, Jensen. I’m-.” Her words were cut off by my lips because I couldn’t stand another moment to go by without kissing her. That’s when I felt her tense, her center gripping me even tighter as she gave into her orgasm.

She moaned helplessly through her release as I fucked her through it, trying like hell to hold on as I watched her fall apart. The feelings that were coursing through me made it hard to breathe while my heart hammered away inside my chest like it wanted to break free. The minute her y/c/e eyes slid open, pleasure glazed and so full of love, my control snapped. I whined, the feelings ratcheting up and becoming almost unbearable as I felt it begin to crash into me. “Baby.” I managed through a strangled moan and my eyes slammed closed. A moan was ripped out of me when my entire body locked up as I released inside her.

“Oh, Jay.” I heard her sigh when the fog started to clear, the contractions still wrecking my body and making me tremble becoming nearly painful. I felt her hands soothing up and down my back, through the hair on the back of my head, her body rocking me through my release and prolonging it. Her lips whispered against my temple as I realized that I’d buried my face into her shoulder. “Love you, Jay. Love you so fucking much.”

It was when I’d finally calmed down, still enjoying the feeling of being inside her as I became soft, that I realized that I’d never loved someone as much as I loved Y/N. I’d never felt this warmth and fullness that felt so good that it hurt and I might die from it. I realized then that I was done taking the passive route, and that whoever was responsible for even thinking about hurting her, was going to fucking pay.

Tagging: Forevers: @perpetualabsurdity @maileann @daydreamingintheimpala @gecko9596  @gemini75eeyore, @jotink78, @dancingalone21 @winchesterprincessbride, @sandlee44, @exploratiionist, @arryn-nyx @littledarlinhavefaithinme, @boredoutofmymindstuff, @feelmyroarrrr, @raeganr99 @ruprecht0420, @anokhi07, @letsgetyourdeanon, @sis-tafics, @jensen-gal @theoneandonlysaucymo, @27bmm, @callmesatansprincess, @hbenth, @keepcalmandcarryondean, @sea040561, @just-another-busy-fangirl, @spn67-sister, @uniquewerewolfsuit @ria132love, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @tas898, @atc74, @ryansgirl5509, @mysteriouslyme82, @notnaturalanahi, @tiffanycaruso

CBD: @melissaj616, @katrena7, @butiaintgonnaloveem @wheresthekillswitch, @anticipate1003

If your name is crossed through, tumblr won’t let me tag you. Also, for some reason, on my previous chapter I missed tagging some people. I’m so sorry.