#altogether like hinting to the fact that that wasn’t appropriate. because she’s not gonna change. i should’ve said it for once because the
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#we had a discord meeting with friends and thing is. i told everyone today that i got a soul crushing diagnosis#literally never cry to my friends but bawled my eyes out on a#whatre they called. voice message? yeah and one of my friends sent an empathetic text back in the group chat#one friend called and the other texted too but then in the discord meeting the first friend was really quiet most of the time and i was#glad to be thinking about something else than my stuff and be just chit chatting; when second friend asked the first if everything was okay#and ? she had the gall to say really angrily that no it isn’t and she has been crying like crazy all day because she feels like she isn’t#enough and does everything wrong#all the time. now this is not a new convo. we’ve talked about this vountless times and yeah she’s depressed clearly but doesn’t want to#admit it and i’ve told her (after comforting her many times) that she should really go talk to someone about it because if she just keeps#crying go us we’re just gonna go in circles and she isn’t gonna feel any better. like i’ve said everything that i possibly could to make#her feel better. and she has the GALL to say she’s been crying her eyes out when she KNOWS i literally heard i’m gonna lose feeling and#motoric skills in my hands and feet. and nothing can be done about it. and i for once showed how awful that felt.#i quickly told her that i hope the feeling passes because it’s baseless and she’s enough and worthy and really dear to all of us and then i#went to the toiler for a short while. and thought like. why couldn’t i judt once have said like. i’ve been crying about other things#altogether like hinting to the fact that that wasn’t appropriate. because she’s not gonna change. i should’ve said it for once because the#circle is just gonna continue. like. fuck#and at the same time i understand i really do but i don’t think however miserable i was that i couldn’t put my own worries aside at least#for the day. like TODAY i found out today . so if she’s miserable in her relationship (which i originally said was a bad ideaaaa) and it#makes her feel overall bad#. just!!!!! ahhhh. keep it to yourself for today. like i could’ve talked about my problems but i didn’t. so#v.personal#if you read this sorry sldntbtb#but also thank you. i’m not in a good place myself and i feel awkward and i know it can be taxing to read other people’s personal stuff on#your dash so if you did read this thank you
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