every single day i think about the influence touya would have had on shouto as an older brother.
he has to take him everywhere he goes, so they're always jamming to the same hardcore music in touya's shitty car. shouto, obviously, develops a taste for the same bands, same songs. shouto is also in the ride-along to buy cigarettes and beer at midnight, and touya threatens his whole entire life if he tells rei, but shouto would never because he likes going too much.
shouto 100% would attempt to kick the ass of anyone that talked shit to his brother. little string bean, doesn't matter, this little boy is throwing HANDS for touya, and touya very much has the attitude of "no one can fuck with my little brother but me". whenever shouto gets in trouble for doing something he shouldn't be doing, touya is always taking the fall for him, no questions asked. shouto lies for touya like it's second nature.
shouto wants an earring because of touya, and touya probably GIVES the piercing to him, which makes enji blow a gasket. touya learns to play the drums and then shouto wants to, too — though he ends up being better than touya and touya promptly quits after that. touya teaches him to drive. shouto gets drunk for the first time with touya BECAUSE touya wants to be there to take care of him. they hate each other, they get into fist fights all the time, rolling around the house as fuyumi screams at both of them. they're best friends. they understand each other more than anyone else ever could.
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theres something so terribly sad about how beastzai is very much the omniscient character that everyone thinks canonzai is and yet elements of his plan are so deeply flawed because he doesnt know how to work around creating anything solid without beating it together.
atsushi and akutagawa are friendly instantly. theres no reason the two of them couldnt build each other up by working together. aku himself develops his ability so well in beast because hes being tended by gentler hands than he is in canon. he flourishes under kinder teaching. their partnership could easily have been grown the same way. but dazai cant see that.
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the goldfinch is so fascinating to me because everything in it is about grief, with his sexuality as a subsection, another core tenant, that centers around (as i believe) the fact that he can't tell his mother about it. and the painting is grief and love itself! the painting represents that moment before his mother died, and he literally put it away and took it out only for boris while blackout drunk, that chunk of his heart, the source of all his pain, and boris thought i want that enough to take it. also the goldfinch is about drugs and a small dog.
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Wait hold on, in his anniversary video Barbatos mentions the mc being the brother's attendant?
But in the other videos, it's implied that they don't remember the mc leaving (which is actually something im very disappointed about and really hope isnt the case in the actual story)
In these two specifically, it seems like they aren't aware of the mc's presence in the past/alternate timeline/whatever it is. The only other person who seems like they know is Lucifer
Which also lines up with the end of lesson 40, where he's the only one who says welcome back? So like?? Do only him and Barbatos know? Did they not tell anyone?? Diavolo would probably know as well but I haven't seen anything to show that yet. Anyways I don't really like where this is going, I would really prefer they not make everyone forget the mc disappeared
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Thinking thoughts about those from Cuivienen and how they later treated the Valar, especially after Cuivienen was destroyed.
I imagine a foundation of sorrow and a layer of betrayal and pettiness. They had promised safety. And how did it turn out? Kin of Tata and Tatie their first leaders, slain in Valinor by the Dark Hunter from which the Valar promised protection in Valinor.
And then, the War of Wrath comes and with it the destruction of Cuivienen.
If any of those were re-embodied in Aman, I wonder if they make it a point to always turn their back to Valar and Maiar. I wonder if they only speak in the tongue they had first devised all those millennia ago and spoke in Cuivienen before time and different kindreds changed the tongue, not Sindarin or Quenya from the Great Journey's time or later. I wonder if they sing songs in their ancient tongue, songs about the beauty and unsullied health of Cuivienen every time any of the Ainur are near.
I wonder if the Valar feel any shame when those who they once looked upon in wonder and love gaze back at them with indifference or disgust.
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Also I'm just gonna say that even if it were true that Rodimus was a """""true Prime"""" and Optimus wasn't, that isn't as much of an L for Optimus as people seemingly want it to be.
Like so you're telling me Optimus was never a chosen hero and the burden of the Matrix/leadership pained him morally, emotionally, and physically, yet he still survived 4 million years of war?
You're telling me he wasn't God's Designated Special Boy but he still tried his best to live up to that impossible ideal to the point of developing serious depression and suicidal ideation as a result of so much goddamn loneliness and self-doubt?
Optimus wasn't a "true Prime" and yet he still believed in ideals of reconciliation and ending the cycle of violence? He wasn't a true Prime but he still stayed on Cybertron trying to fix a broken, broken society while also trying to stop Earth from being invaded for a second time? He didn't even need to do that he could've just stayed in exile which he was originally supposed to do all along, and which he would've personally preferred?? You're telling me that Optimus wasn't Primus' Specialest Boy And Chosen Leader and yet he stepped into leadership anyways bc he perceived that there was injustice to be fixed??
Wow yeah I guess Optimus is just such an inferior leader, clearly his actual actions/moral character as person don't matter and his "worthiness" should be judged solely on whether the Magic Cybertronian 8 Ball liked him or not.
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Thinking about Tails and Sage's singular interaction.
It's so interesting.
In the English version this is really funny, they have this more or less lighthearted interaction. And the fact that she's been going "I don't understand how Sonic thinks" but the way Tails presents information to her makes her understand his point of view instantly.
In Japanese, Sage is much more intense with him, (like when she leaves, in English she's like "maybe it would be kinder if you didn't know of your fate", while in Japanese she's like "I'm done wasting my time here") though tbh this is generally the difference with the way Sage is written. But I also like that while in the English version they were talking about Sonic, this one is more personal. She really gets on Tails's case about waiting for Sonic to save everyone and not contributing enough. This is actually what exacerbates Tails's insecurities in this version and ends up triggering his breakdown. But on the other hand, it's clear that Sage is also frustrated with herself and berates Tails in part because she's projecting her own inability to help Eggman.
And in both versions Tails is just like. Confused the whole time and has no idea what's going on. Hilarious.
(I also like how in Japanese Sage basically goes "you're supposed to be smart, why are acting stupid", and he goes "Oh, you think I'm smart? :D"; It's a little thing, but I hope they keep writing them like this. Djckxkz)
I like both and it gives me a lot of incentive to expect a potential rivalry between them in the future. They're too similar not only in terms of their skillset but also in terms of their character arcs and it would be a waste to not use it to explore both of their characters. Sage getting one of the main characters as her rival would really help her not to fall into the background (but if you go for anyone other than Tails, fighting a child doesn't exactly paint them in a flattering light); and Tails deserves to have a consistent rival too, and tbh maybe it's just because it's gotten into my head, but she feels like... suspiciously perfect for this.
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