#am i gonna get attacked if i post this in the shadowhunters tag???

[izzymalec]

it’s been months and i’m still thinking about how little sense it made for alec not to be able to feel his parabatai come back to life like.... we know he felt him die but he didn’t feel him come back to life?? “look at it now” “how 😲” ...uhhh yeah i don’t think so and now he can’t even feel jace being possesed by a demon?? did the parabatai bond even come back bc it certainly doesn’t seem like it

[ternaryflower53]

you know what, i feel like doing fic recs, so i'm gonna fill out that fic rec bingo i reblogged a while back. under the cut bc this got. very long

a fic you love without knowing the source material - i mean. quite a lot of them, actually, i do a lot of fandom hopping. however the Henrietta: without magic, with medical careers series (The Raven Cycle) by @avalonjoan is excellent and only of the only trc fics i've ever read

a fic with a premise that shouldn't work but does - probably and the universe said you are not alone (Les Miserables) by alonsos, aka the les mis martian au. i don't know i just never would have thought of it but it's GOOD

a fic you've read several times - again...many. the first one that comes to mind is the Carry On For You series (Avatar: TLA) by @sword-and-stars but that may be because i just saw her posting about it. also

a fic you still remember years later - Paris Burning (Les Miserables) by @thecitysmith, aka one of the first fics i read on ao3. i need to actually get around to reading their novella at some point shhhh

a comfort fic - did you mean half my bookmarks? okay, we can go with our turn to carve windows (Star Wars) by @notquiteaghost. idk it's just soft. also has the tag "if youre trans and also a nerd then boy do i have a fic for you" and i mean i mean. you sure figured out your target audience

a cathartic fic - Always Gold (Star Wars) by @happygiraffe made me cry and it's just. excellent. one of the only major character death fics i've thought really nailed the ending

a fic you'd print and put on your bookshelf - hm. perhaps All Hail the Underdogs (Check Please) by @xiaq. in my head fics i'd print out also work as published books bc i am not really a physical book person, idk

a fic you associate with a song - i don't have tons of music associatons, unfortunately, but i DO associate @stillneedsmorekissing's Stellarverse series (Percy Jackson) with les mis solely because of interactions we've had lmao

a fic that inspires you - Asynchronous Circuit (Star Wars) by @jessepinwheel has EXCELLENT characterization and i want it. just makes me want to write things so i can be like that you know. anyway

a fic that brought you on board a new ship - tbh, i have ver little feelings about ships, i just read whatever is there, but hunting toward heartstill (Star Wars) by @blackkatmagic got me into mace/cody, i guess?

a fic that you wish could be a movie - none? i have never actually thought that before. but also i'm not a huge movie person, so. whatever

a fic that led to you making friends with the author - there's been a few, but gonna give a shoutout to @quillium's fic not afraid to fall (Into the Spiderverse) bc it's Excellent and quill is awesome

a fic you've gushed about irl - SO MANY, this is what happens when your irl friends are also into fandom. but i'm pretty sure i've rambled about @batsutousai multiple times, especially her Make A Brand New End series, so. that one.

a fic you associate with a place - tbh none?? not huge on location associations either

a fic that made you gasp out loud - there's probably been some but i cannot think of any??? i'm not super reactive when i'm reading lol

a fic you found at the right time - i remember reading All's Well (My Hero Academia) by goatman_entrapment and there was a note in one of the fics where they said something about how parents can love a child but still hurt them, and tbh i really needed that

a fic you would read fic of - *gestures* the answer to all of these is either "lots" or "none", i guess. anyway, lots, but i was reminded of the Hammer to Fall verse (Voltron) by @codefiant and i'd love to see more of it, just bc i think it's SUPER cool.

a fic that made you laugh out loud - my friend sent me Grow Up So Fast (Batman) by InsaneTrollLogic and i about died, it's excellent

a fic with a line (or two) you've memorized by heart - i don't think i have any of these :/

a fic that gave you butterflies - i don't think i have any of these either??? i don't read that much shippy fic, idk

a fic that embodies something you value in life - not sure i understand this one, tbh? but perhaps when we are loved we are afraid (we were never meant to survive) (Harry Potter) by @aletterinthenameofsanity.

a favorite au - i love reincarnation AUs a normal amount, i swear. anyway The Rest of Their Lives (Attack on Titan) by folaigh has some really cool explorations of identity and i just like it a lot

a fic you stayed up too late to finish - hm, one of the more recent ones was Bruised Words (Harry Potter) by @starknjarvis27, very good had lots of excellent emotions

a fic that made you feel seen - i have a very strong memory of reading @cuubism's fic Let In The Rain (Shadowhunters) and feeling seen. it doesn't actually depict my personal experience at all but it's just??? good?? excellent ace fic 10/10

[ibelonginthepast]

honey first of all, you are right! no one has the right to be biphobic! him being biphobic is bad! BUT he is a humannn who will make mistakesss like we all dooooo and learn from themmmm! internalised homophobia literally means being homo/bipobic. it doesn't give him the right, but its the reason. not an excuse! but an explanation.

you are right about the fact that he never apologized either! but now here's the thing.

1. CC is bad at handling this shit. there are not enough malec scenes cause cc definitely has a problem with managing scene times and pushing queer characters to the background and i hate her for that. so criticize her for that for overlooking this. if u feel she did.

2. at the same time i believe sometimes as authors it's not always their job to label problematic behaviors with their tags.. the narrator doesn't go like *deep voice* "and alas he is being biphobic" or "shameful! he is slutshaming",, they instead show that behavior and leave it to reader to read it and feel uncomfortable and realize what alec is doing is wrong. she didn't glorify. we all knew alec was letting his insecurities get better of him, and in the scene where he says all this when they are sitting on the table at the wedding or whatever, everyone at the table is mad and upset at alec's moodiness and it mentions that magnus is hurt and that's a clear indication as to what he did was wrong.

3. so to fill gaps this we headcanon! we think about his future behaviors and his will to get better and we tell ourselves that he did better. he apologized. and did everything in his power to make sure that the future shadowhunters know what it is and don't commit the exact same mistakes he made!

4. alec isn't someone who was biphobic KNOWING he was being biphobic. it's not like he stabbed magnus and because stabbing is so obvious he should go and say "magnus i am sorry for stabbing you.". it's biphobia, that bitch doesn't know that's a word! he learned that he could like men few months ago! so he can't go to magnus and be like "i am sorry for being biphobic",, but he gonna be like "maggie babes am sorry for being a fucking dick!" which he did. trust me he hates himself so much more than any of us can for doing this to the one love of his fucking life!

secondly, i am sorry u felt attacked by my post (this sounds sarcastic, it's genuine) but i wasn't attacking u. that was a generic statement against the white peeps from USA or UK and comparatively liberal countries where atleast they discuss queerness.. cause uk it's hush shush here. but situations differ according to subjects yes?

i know where u come from. i was mad at alec too! i wanted to rip that motherfucker's face off! u r brown and queer, but our experiences still can be different. i am way too emotional sometimes and i believe in forgiveness too much sometimes. but then my personal past as a brown queer plays into this personally and differently than you, so i believe in this ship. u can choose not to and that's okay.. but u dont have to actively hate on it just because u cannot relate? that's just lack of empathy

i can understand that maybe some people no matter what race for example have been in a situation similar to magnus's and dont feel their ex partner deserves forgiveness WHICH IS VERY VALID because it's totally their decision,, among a lot of other kinds of perspectives and experiences which may come into play and may make people not like the handling of the situation

but my experiences are equally valid? this doesn't have to a be political stance and this isn't a situation that needs to be justified morally right or wrong. this is just an example of how it MAY play out in real life human interactions. this is just a story, a narrative in which they have instead embraced forgiveness, and the reason and complexity behind alec's behavior is given. we all can coexist while having having different personal choices. u dont have to attack the ship or me or question my ethical beliefs on that. i don't think anyone has the right to attack me or anyone who gets will to live from book malec because it has taught them things and made them feel seen. u dont like book malec, no one is forcing u to love it. u don't hate on it. and u dont invalidate people. that's basic decency.

[beclynn-herondale]

Inside TMI Gang's diaries part 5 1/2

(long post)

Clary: Dear diary, so the Clave didn't end up punishing me because I didn't technically break any rules when I brought Jace back, but some peeps are staring at me still and like bish you're making me uncomfortable, also I don't know where Jace is and I feel this deep emptiness without him. I decided I am gonna ask the Seelie Queen for help, and no brain you ain't stopping me k, Alec and Izzy will be with me on this and Simon. Also just wait Sebastian just wait, I am gonna show you who to truly be afraid of. But first coffee

*Later*

So shit happened, I went to the Seelie Queen and she asked me to steal these rings, but like I was like no, but I decided to take them for myself, anyway I saw Jace and Sebastian, and Jace looked completely fine, he looked happy, like nothing is even bothering him, and then i said I didn't get the rings, like a lier, and that night Jace broke into my bedroom and we kinda kissed, and I found out he is basically a puppet for Sebastian, and if you hurt or kill Sebastian you hurt or kill Jace, and just whatever life whatever, also Sebastian stabbed Luke and now Luke may die, my mom is taking us to Magnus' and now that we are here he called it saint Magnus' for wayword Shadowhunters, and me and my mom got into a fight, she said stuff about Jace and like that's the thing I am sensitive about, so I decided to tell Simon to meet me and I shall run away and save Jace, I am always gonna be the knight and him the Damsel. Also Simon is the best friend, now I gotta go kill my brother. Need some coffee first.

Possessed Jace: Dear diary, all is well in the day of being evil and running around with Sebastian, he is alright, anyway we are off to cause chaos, I want to try and take Clary with us tho. Also I am not sure but something weird may have happened between me and Sebastian the other night, I can't remember exactly, but it was weird.

*Later*

We broke into Clary's house and I tried to take her with us but Sebastian had to be unpleasant, he may be hungry, he gets hangry when he doesn't eat enough, I plan on coming back for Clary though, oh also Luke got hurt, that one feels bad. Oh and Clary did come back and she is with us now, I love her. Oh also Sebastian and me have gotten up to some stuff, he is a genius, and he is so evil, I love it.

Jace: I am gonna murder him, this bish is so stupid, oh shit wait is this me again? I feel like I am banging on a wall. Who says love that much?

Alec: Dear diary, a lot has happened, Jace is still kidnapped and the Clave didn't end up punishing Clary, thank the angel. I am sneaking behind Magnus' back and I hate it but what else am I supposed to do?, Clary wants to meet with the Seelie Queen and I have a bad feeling about it, she isn't trustworthy, but I guess we have no choice cause the Clave won't help much anymore. Izzy is ready to fight anyone. Magnus is still not sharing much and is avoiding topics, and he doesn't know about Camille. But Camille is the worst, how could Magnus ever have dated her, he's so good and hot, and kind and sexy, he's also giving and attractive, he's beautiful and has a beautiful soul.

*Later*

Still sneaking around, still hate being around Camille. Jace apparently was at the Institute with Sebastian and they were acting like buddies, Jace is my parabatai, Sebastian you little shit. And then Jace and Sebastian went to Clary's house and attacked so now Clary is here at Magnus' and so is Jocelyn. Life keeps getting weirder, and everything is going to hell, if Jace were here, he'd have a way to lighten the mood.

Magnus: Dear diary, breathe Magnus, breathe, thankfully Biscuit is fine, Blondie is still kidnapped. Izzy and Simon have tension between them and I want nothing to do with that drama, I know.i usually like drama but Shadowhunter drama is a mess. Camille is god knows where, probably being evil. Sebastian is still on the loose, probably being evil as well, no definitely being evil. Alec has been distant lately. Chairman Meow is a comfort as always. I am trying to track down blondie, but I have had no luck, Sebastian is good I'll give him that. The Clave is a pain in my ass as usual. And the Seelie Queen is a raging bish, some things never change.

*Later*

So. . . Apparently Sebastian and blondie were at the Institute and after that attacked Clary and Jocelyn in their house, Luke was injured and hopefully will be okay. As always, Saint Magnus' is where Jocelyn and Clary went to, I am like the safe haven for wayword Shadowhunters. Clary and Jocelyn just got into a fight, Mother and Daughter drama is never one you want to get into the middle of but Biscuit isn't necessarily in the wrong here. But I don't want people to explode on me and Jocelyn would so. . . Anyway, I suspect Izzy will be here soon and maybe Simon. Hopefully we'll figure out where Jace is somehow, everyone is miserable and I never noticed how much of a light he actually was until he was gone, and yes I am surprised by those words myself.

Izzy: Dear diary, life is only chaos and a mess as usual, I can't get Simon out of my head and I don't know why, I have never been this way with someone before, ahhhhhhhhh. Anyway the Clave didn't punish Clary so that's good, I would have fought them if they had tried anything. Jace is still missing and we still have no idea where he is, the Clave is deciding he isn't a priority anymore, and if not for me wanting to play it cool I would have thrown some unkind words, but I am also not surprised. But we'll find Jace and save him, I won't accept anything else, there is no way in hell I am losing another brother.

*Later*

Clary saw Jace and Sebastian at the Institute and then apparently they broke in her house, and tried to take her, and Clary says Jace wasn't Jace, that he believed Sebastian was right and I swear whatever Sebastian did to my bro, he is gonna pay for. Still can't stop thinking about Simon and I want to punch a tree, Jace would have said "What did the tree ever do to you" I miss that weirdo, I am heading over the Magnus' cause that's where Clary and Jocelyn are, Luke got hurt bad, hopefully things will be alright. Also Simon wasn't at his and Jordan's apartment, I got a little drunk and may have spilled some stuff to Jordan and I regret it. Anyway I am gonna try to get ahold of Simon and ask him to come, there's something about him that comforts me.

Simon: Dear diary, life as a teenager has been so hard, as usual, being a vampire still kinda sucks, my mom hates me, Jace is still missing, Clary and Izzy are both wrecks, and I just want a chiller times. There's something between Jordan and Maia but I be staying away, I have no idea what me and Izzy are relationship wise, Clary thankfully didn't get in trouble with the Clave. Sebastian is creepy af. I think I am gonna listen to mcr and be angst.

*Later*

Shit got very real again, apparently Jace and Sebastian attacked Clary at her house and Luke was hurt, also apparently you can't hurt or kill Sebastian with hurting or killing Jace, that's just amazing isn't it. Clary and Jocelyn are at Magnus', - although Clary isn't anymore, in fact she is right in front of me telling me her crazy plan to go after Jace, Jocelyn is gonna go mama bear on me, but I can't stop Clary that's never been an option with her, apparently we are gonna keep in contact with the faerie rings Clary secretly stole, it keeps getting worse, this is all gonna be bad. And to top it off I am ignoring Becky and she is gonna come after me if I don't respond soon, but how can I when there's so much. - later, Izzy wants me at Magnus' and I still don't know what we are, but I'll always be there for her, if she lets me.

Sebastian: Dear evil diary, I have to say I have been having a lot of fun, Jace thinks something weird happened between us the others night, and something did but he'll never know what ;), I plan to kidnap my sister and take her with us no matter what it takes, me and Jace have plans, evil plans. We are at the Institute for something, and after that when night comes we plan to find my sister, I know Jace won't do anything without her, she's the only thing that keeps him not fully in my control. Anyway I am to do evil.

*Later*

We broke into Clary's house and she was mad, like I thought you'd be happy to see your boyfriend who has been missing, little sister. But apparently not? And I tried to kill that werewolf but he may survive. Mother will pay. Jace says he's sure Clary will come, honestly his love and trust in her is strange and I do not understand it, father would be disgusted, but I need Jace and I want Clary as well, so I'll do what it takes. Evil is out.

Church: Dear cat diary, I am so fucking done, you have no idea how done I am, Herondale and Fairchild did stuff in the past that led to Herondale getting possessed. Jem you would know what to do, please save me. Herondale is probably gonna have something tragic again *sigh*, Fairchild isn't gonna sit by and do nothing, it isn't in her blood. Lightwood 1 is off and I don't know what it is but he has something, Lightwood 2 may well explode as and I wouldn't want to be in the middle of that, tho I would like to see her go off on the Clave *cat grins*, Sebastian is another evil guy, why do I bother to learn their names? Jem if you were here, Simon is idk, he is doing something, Magnus is Magnus, and I may try and visit Chairman Meow, seeing them may help my cat stress levels. Everything is shit, the world is going to shit, and my Jem isn't here to save me, and I want some frickin tuna.

Tagging @chibi-tsukiko , idk if you want to be tagged in this but I know you said to start tagging you 🙈

[vaeliris]

Mid-year Freakout Tag

I’m 14 days late but I hope this still works. I’m reading quite a bit this year so I’m super excited to answer these questions! Let’s hop into it.

Best Book You Have Read Yet in 2018

Lady Midnight by Cassandra Clare! At first I was ashamed of saying so because I was such an anti when it came to CC. I finally read Lady Midnight and I’m so glad. Clare has improved so much over the years so it’s exciting to see what Lord of Shadows has in store for me.

Honorable mentions because this was so so hard to choose:

Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan

Furyborn by Claire Legrand

AND FINALLY

Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

I enjoyed all of these novels very much, but Lady Midnight took the cake! I was blown away by it!

Best Sequel I Have Read So Far

I haven’t read any sequels...To be fair 2018 was all about starting series so valid excuse??? Let’s just skip over this question before I get attacked for not reading sequels 😂.

New Release You Haven’t Read Yet But Want To

Do you mean: every single 2018 release?

There’s an entire list to this but let’s make it snappy, shall we?

Lifel1k3 by Jay Kristoff

From Twinkle, With Love By Sandhya Menon

Bring me their hearts by Sara Wolf

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

And a million more I could list but these are the ones I either 1) already have or 2) need to buy and read! This isn’t a definite list, but ones that I have off the top of my head.

Most Anticipated Release For The Second Half Of The Year

Do I really have to say? Fine, I’ll say it for those who don’t know! QUEEN OF AIR AND DARKNESS BY CASSANDRA CLARE BECAUSE IT WILL KILL ME AND I AM OKAY WITH IT.

Also Not Even Bones by Rebecca Schaeffer because BLACK MARKET MAGIC. The cover is...unsavory but I know the insides will make up for it. P.S publishers pls send ARC, I’m dyin over here.

Biggest Disappointment

*looks at camera* The monster that is Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson. I get angry every single time I think about it and my blood pressure doesn’t need that so let’s just move on mkay?

Biggest Surprise

And I Darken by Kiersten White. This is a surprise because of how much I hated it. NO ONE TOLD ME IT’S A BOOK ABOUT A CHILDHOOD AND THAT IT WAS BORING. I gave it 2 stars because I’m a nice person but never again. NEVER AGAIN. Also ACOTAR wasn’t that bad so there’s that.

Favourite New Author (Debut or New To You)

Obvi Cassandra Clare. I’ve mention her books or her in this post how many times again? Oh yeah a million....Personally I find that favorite authors(like Leigh Bardugo or CC) can be hard to come by because I am such a picky reader but maybe 2018 will change that?

Newest Fictional Crush

Julian is hot and I stan this Shadowhunter queen. Also Adrian from Renegades by Marissa Myer was adorable. Meanwhile Levi from Ace of Shades was a pretty bad Kaz impersonator but I guess I’m not too mad so he’s in there too. He’s not even new but Kaz from Six of Crows and Harry Potter are good characters and I would die for them.

Newest Favourite Character

*insert gif of me shrugging* yeah….no. It’s gonna take a lot for me to have a new favorite. Inej Ghafa is my boo and I’m sorry, but NO ONE CAN TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME. Ew I sound Tamlin in any ACOTAR book.

Book That Made You Cry Crooked Kingdom ending, nuff said.

Book That Made You Happy

Crazy Rich Asians is hilarious and everyone needs to read it! Seriously, I can’t wait to pick up the next book in the series and see the movie.

Speaking of movies: Favourite Book to Film Adaptation

Let’s just RPO because it’s the only I have seen. I’m hype for many others to come out though!

Favorite Post You Have Done This Year

THIS POST IS NOW CANCELLED. THIS IS ME-NOT-DOING ANY-ORIGINAL-CONTENT ERASURE. I DEMAND RESPECT. I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I haven’t posted original content in a while but I do enjoy my WIP page (shameless self promo,amirite ladies?) so check that out!

Most Beautiful Book You’ve Bought This Year

THE FURYBORN COVER IS JUST GOALS OH MY GOD. IT’S SIMPLE(THAN MOST FANTASY COVERS) AND IS JUST WOW. 10/10 would drool over cover again

What Book Do You Need to Read by the End of the Year

Not Even Bones, Six of Crows(again), Strange the Dreamer series, and a million other books that await on my tumblr.

I hope you guys enjoyed this 14 day late post! Feel free to call me out! I tag @time-to-write-and-suffer @thesaltrepository and @memorants to do this challenge! You guys probably don’t know me but I enjoy your content so valid excuse???

Goodreads:stardustreader

[fairyroses]

SECOND CHANCES [Part Two]

Okay, I’m going to try and keep the momentum going with this story (which I’m tentatively titling “Second Chances” for now) by posting short “parts” here on Tumblr instead of full-length chapters on someplace official like AO3, in the desperate hope that I’ll actually be able to finish it this way. 

[PART ONE IS HERE]

I’m also going to tag everyone who commented/encouraged me to continue this (thank you all for the encouragement, btw!), because I don’t know how else to make sure you’ll see it: @flux--and--flow, @carry-on-my-wayward-shadowhunter, @alwayysblue, @roguepythia, @vampirebillionaire, @jessiekitty123, @conflicted-boy 

“I still don’t get it, Boss.” Buildings blur together outside the rapidly fogging car window, and Oswald’s left eye twitches. “An hour ago you wanted the librarian dead. And now you suddenly don’t?”

“Yes,” Oswald grits out. “For the hundredth time, that is correct.”

“But...why? What changed?”

I did, Oswald thinks, but instead he snaps, “I don’t pay you to ask questions, Gabriel. Right now, I am paying you to drive and that is all.” 

Gabe humphs, clearly unfazed by Oswald’s attitude, but nevertheless turns his attention back to the dimly lit road ahead of them. Oswald had taken note of the less-than-friendly neighborhood during his visit to Isabella’s apartment earlier that day, but it looks even worse shadowed under an umbrella of darkness. Oswald’s memory of the area is unusually fuzzy, though, and it takes him a moment to realize why. 

What feels like earlier that day to his body is weeks ago in his mind. The memory of his first visit to Isabella’s apartment has had time to grow fuzzy, despite it happening mere hours ago.

Oswald closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, the beginnings of a headache pulsing at his temples. He vows in that moment to stop thinking about the minutiae of what has happened to him, fearing that if he doesn’t, he may actually go mad. 

Logic has no place in a world where the dead travel back in time, or where men like Oswald are given second chances.

Gabe pulls over to the side of the road and parks, and Oswald opens his eyes to take stock of their surroundings. Good, at least Gabe had enough foresight to park an inconspicuous distance from the apartment. Oswald almost doesn’t recognize the small red car parked in front of Isabella’s building, until a vivid memory resurfaces of himself, tied to its smashed-in hood. 

He swallows thickly just as Gabe asks, “So, how’re we gonna do this? I’m guessin’ you’re not gonna knock on her door and politely tell her not to go for a joyride.” Oswald barely snorts in acknowledgement, mind already working. 

“You know,” Gabe continues. “I’ve got a blowtorch in the trunk and some spare gas, if you wanna, ya know...” 

That certainly gets Oswald’s attention, and he slowly turns to look at Gabe, an eyebrow arched in definite interest. He opens his mouth to reply, then pauses, before snapping it shut and shaking his head. “As tempting as that offer is,” he sighs—and oh, the idea of turning Isabella’s car into a bonfire is so, so incredibly tempting—”I’m afraid it would be a tad too threatening for our current purposes.” 

He can already imagine the fallout. Poor, helpless Isabella, terrified for her life, conveniently capitalizing on that fear in order to permanently glue a protective Edward to her side. And Ed, well, he would undoubtably want to investigate such a blatant threat, and this hypothetical chain of events is already coming far too close to a future that Oswald has already lived through. 

No, no. This cannot seem like an attack. It has to appear random, and generally harmless. Just enough to make the car unusable.

The answer comes in a flash of clarity, and Oswald casts a sardonic smile in Gabe’s direction while smoothly flicking open his pocket knife. “Wait here,” he orders, and before Gabe can protest, he’s hopping out of the car and limping across the street, mouth pressing into a firm line as soon as Gabe is out of eyesight.

As he sinks his knife into the rubber of Isabella’s tires, slicing them open one by one, he imagines instead that he’s plunging the weapon into her chest. But the fantasy does little to improve his mood. He might as well be stabbing himself, because his heart is aching at the knowledge of what he’s doing—and worse, at the thought of what had occurred between Ed and Isabella earlier that night, not two stories above his head.

Oswald remembers Ed coming home the last time he’d experienced this day. He remembers the pleased, satisfied grin on Ed’s face, the innuendos, and most damning of all, the scent of a woman’s perfume lingering on his bespoke suit. It had been a simple enough task to piece together what had happened. 

Oswald stops and squeezes his eyes shut, breathing heavily, throat tight. He braces an arm against Isabella’s car for support, his stomach twisting itself into knots of jealousy and heartbreak.

This is for Ed, he desperately reminds himself. He’s doing this for Ed, because he loves him. And love means sacrifice. 

He scrubs at the corner of one eye with the heel of his palm, where pesky tears had begun to gather, and repeats those words again, breathing them out like a mantra. Channeling his frustration and hurt into determination, Oswald stabs the final tire with renewed vigor. 

There’s no going back now.