#ambi efl

[illbeyourreasonwhy]

So Much I Think It Must Be...

Chapter 8: Not Straight

“Wait, I don’t understand,” Bowie said, “are you two friends, now, or –”

“Nope.”

“Definitely not.”

Andi’s parents exchanged a look, clearly deciding not to ask.

*

Chapter 8 of my Ambi Enemies to Friends to Lovers fic! You can read it on ao3 here, and find the first chapter here. Hope you like it!

*

Bowie was wearing a confused look on his face when Andi walked into the kitchen the next morning, and Andi quickly realised why. Amber was sipping on a mug, her eyes stuck on the table and looking very out of place.

“Hi?” she said, grabbing a mug of her own.

“Morning,” Bowie answered, nudging her shoulder. “You know I caught this one trying to sneak out this morning?”

“What?” Andi looked over at Amber, feeling inexplicably hurt. “You were just going to leave?”

Amber avoided her gaze. “I didn’t want to intrude,” she mumbled.

“Well, you’re not,” Andi snapped.

“Fine, sorry I bothered,” Amber quipped back.

She met her eyes, and Andi felt herself relax. This was what they did, snapping at each other instead of caring. It was familiar, and in their own way, good. And if the minute smile Amber gave her was anything to go by, she felt the same way.

Bowie looked curiously between the two of them, then cleared his throat. “I actually meant that I didn’t understand why I hadn’t been made aware that Amber was here in the first place.”

“Oh, yeah, that.” Andi grabbed a piece of toast. “She spent the night. It was kind of a last-minute decision.”

Bowie opened his mouth, still looking confused, and was interrupted by Bex stumbling into the kitchen. She went directly to the coffee pot, poured herself a cup, and took a sip, before turning to the rest of the room, looking amazed.

“Who made this coffee?”

“I did,” Amber answered, looking bemused.

Bex set the cup down. “You’re welcome here any time.”

“Mom!”

“You’re the one who let her into our home in the first place,” Bex defended, smiling as Bowie hugged her from behind. “And this is delicious.”

Amber smirked over at Andi, who glared back at her – with less heat than usual, she noticed. Somehow, she was less annoyed than expected about someone in her corner taking a liking to Amber.

“Wait, I don’t understand,” Bowie said, “are you two friends, now, or –”

“Nope.”

“Definitely not.”

Andi’s parents exchanged a look, clearly deciding not to ask.

 *

“I’m just saying, if you ever want to talk…”

“I’ll think about it,” Amber answered evenly. “Thank you, though. Really.” She smoothed out her apron, then looked back up at Andi. “Now get out of here, you’re keeping me from my customers and their tips.”

“Pfft, like you’re a good enough waitress to get tips.”

Amber opened her mouth, caught sight of something behind Andi, and stiffened. “Someone is here to see you.”

Andi turned around, her face breaking into a smile. “Walker!”

“Hey,” he grinned. “Cyrus told me you were getting into an argument with a waitress, and it wasn’t hard to figure out which one.”

Andi glanced back at Cyrus, who was still waiting for her in their booth. He waved a sarcastic hand over at her, and she smiled guiltily. They had been talking as usual when she saw Amber and was reminded of the events of the previous night; she’d gotten up to tell Amber that if she ever wanted to talk about her home problems, she would listen, and now that she thought of it she had left Cyrus alone for a good five minutes.

“Although, that didn’t seem like an argument,” Walker went on. “It looks like your relationship is more complicated than it seems.”

Andi gave him a wry look. “Tell me about it.”

Andi didn’t really know where she and Amber stood. Two weeks ago they hated each other; now, everything was much more complicated. There were moments where Andi despised her still, where every word out of her mouth made her want to snap back at her. But other times, like right now, her heart went out to Amber, where she wanted nothing more than to help her, let her know she was there for her. And other times still, there was a sort of pull she felt towards her. In those moments, fleeting as they may be, she just wanted them to get along. No drama, no fights. Leave all of that behind.

She felt like a yoyo, being pulled up and down over and over without ever staying in one state of mind for long. It was exhausting.

“Anyways,” she said, shaking herself, “do you want to join us?”

“Nah, I gotta run,” Walker smiled, shaking his head as she slid back into her booth, ignoring Cyrus’ raised eyebrow. “I just wanted to ask if you’d be open to working together again, say, on a bigger project.”

Andi felt a thrill of excitement run through her. “What kind of project?”

“Big.”

“Hm. Very mysterious,” Andi smiled. “But sure, that sound great.”

“Cool. I might have something coming up. I’ll keep you updated.”

And with that, he left the Spoon. Andi smiled, and gave Cyrus a confused look when she saw his raised eyebrows.

“What?”

“What’s going on between you and Walker?”

She shrugged. “You heard him. We’re working on a project together.”

“Is that all that is?”

“Yes. I’m not going down that road again.” She gave him a look. “Stop it. Do I psychoanalyse every interaction you have with guys?”

“With TJ you do.”

“Well, that’s because you’re in love with TJ.”

“Not sure what the context here is, but I agree,” Amber said, setting down a milkshake and baby taters in front of Cyrus. “And TJ is in love with you.”

“Thank you,” Andi said, and Amber smiled at her.

Cyrus leaned back against his seat, looking dejected. “When you’re not arguing, you’re ganging up on me. I can never win.”

Amber laughed and started to leave.

“Uh, Amber?” Andi called. “I also ordered a milkshake.”

“Did you? I must have forgotten.”

Andi groaned. “Amber, come on.”

Amber smiled sweetly and went to another table.

“I have no idea whether she is going to bring you one or not.”

“Me neither,” Andi said. The yoyo had swung again; one minute playful, the other back to antagonising each other. She threw her head back in frustration.

 *

“I am bored. Bored. I need you to fill me in on all the juicy gossip.”

Andi laughed, adjusting the phone against her ear. “Buffy, everyone is gone. TJ and Cyrus left with Cyrus’ family this morning. There is no gossip to tell.”

“Well, fill me in on everything that happened, then. You have to give me some type of distraction while my parents are out fishing.”

“I don’t know. We went to a party. That was fun.”

“You hate parties. Well, when you’re not the one throwing them.”

“I don’t hate them, I… Jonah was dancing, okay? That made up for it. And I saw Natalie again. Did you know she was dating Iris?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Well, I found out then.” Andi fumbled with her keys and unlocked the door to Cece’s. No one was home. “And then –”

She faltered, leaning against the couch. She had been about to tell Buffy about meeting Amber on the balcony, but suddenly she found that she couldn’t. The memory about that conversation seemed private, somehow, as if she was meant to be the only one to know about the way Amber had looked at her that night, as if she was seeing her clearly in a way very few ever had.

“And then?” Buffy repeated.

Andi shook her head. “I just realised, I do have news for you. I’m not sure you’ll believe it, though.”

“Now I’m interested.”

“Amber and I are kind of getting along now. Sort of.”

“You’re making that up.”

Andi thought about telling her about the sleepover, about their first honest conversation, about eating breakfast together in the morning, and bit her lip.

“Andi?” Buffy’s voice rang, confused about her silence. “Is everything okay?”

She hummed, her mind going back to that balcony, her own words ringing in her head. How did you know you liked girls?

She thought of noticing girls, of refusing to acknowledge what it meant, of Amber telling her about those same things helping her realise she was a lesbian, of conversations with both TJ and Cyrus, and took a deep breath.

“I think…” She paused, steeling herself. Buffy stayed quiet, and Andi tried to imagine her, waiting for her to say her piece at her own pace. “I might… I could be…” Her hand was shaking, and she forced herself to set it against the couch, the other holding her phone in place. “I might be… not straight.”

There was a silence, only of a few seconds, but to Andi it felt like years. Her heart was hammering in her chest, blood rushing in her ears, and she closed her eyes. It was the first time she had ever said it out loud.

“Really?” Buffy said. “Alright. Well, you don’t need me to tell you that I still love you either way.” Andi let out a shaky breath. She knew Buffy could probably hear it over the phone, but she didn’t comment on it, just kept talking in that same calm and supportive voice. “Do you like someone, or…?”

“No,” Andi answered. Her heart was still beating fast, but she was smiling now, feeling elated. “No, it was just a bunch of little things. I’m not 100% sure yet, though, so could you keep it to yourself for now?”

“Yeah, of course,” Buffy answered. “You got it.”

Andi smiled and leaned back against the couch. “I miss you,” she admitted.

“I miss you too. I can’t wait to get back.”

Andi grinned into the phone. “So, did anything interesting happen in Middle-of-Nowhere-Town?”

Buffy groaned, and Andi let her rant yet again about how boring her vacation was, feeling lighter than she had in weeks.

 *

 Unknown number: There’s a sale on crafts in the shop across the Spoon

 Unknown number: In case you’re interested

Andi looked down at her phone, confused for half a second before she scrolled back up the conversation and realised that the texts were from Amber. She had never saved her number.

She smiled faintly, oddly touched that Amber had thought of her.

 Me: i’ll check it out. thanks

 Unknown number: No problem

Andi considered saving Amber’s number, but eventually decided against it.

It wasn’t like they were friends, after all.

[illbeyourreasonwhy]

So Much I Think It Must Be...

Chapter 10: Out

Andi took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the couch, trying to work out what to do from here. She had taken a decision. She was going to tell her parents.

As soon as her mind stopped feeling like it was on fire.

*

Chapter 10 of my Ambi Enemies to Friends to Lovers fic! You can read it on ao3 here and from the beginning here. Hope you like it!

*

“Is movie night over already?”

Andi ignored Bex’s question, putting her coat down and pacing.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine,” Andi said forcefully, rushing into the kitchen to avoid more questions.

“Okay, uh – there’s leftover pizza in the fridge if you’re hungry,” Bowie’s voice called from the living room.

Andi knew they could tell something was up, but figured they would leave her alone for now, which she was grateful for. She kept pacing around the kitchen, chewing mechanically on pizza, and trying to get her mind to shut up.

She liked girls. Okay.

It wasn’t that big a shock. She had been questioning it for a while now. But there was something about realising it was true…

She liked girls. Did that mean she was bisexual? She really had liked Jonah… she thought… But it had felt different than this, than an all-encompassing and consuming stream of thoughts, this pure yearning tugging at her, digging into her and wanting, wanting… wanting what, exactly? She was freaking out too much to understand.

She made her way to her room, sitting on her bed and trying to mute the constant buzzing in her brain.

She needed to keep busy.

She took a shower. She changed into fresh pyjamas. She ate a yoghurt.

Then she went back to the living room. Bex was sitting in the corner of the couch, a book in her lap, and offered her a small smile.

Andi took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the couch, trying to work out what to do from here. She had taken a decision. She was going to tell her parents.

As soon as her mind stopped feeling like it was on fire.

 *

“Where’s Bowie?”

“In the shower. He went after you.” Bex cocked her head, concerned. “Is everything okay?”

Andi nodded, her mouth suddenly dry.

For the next ten minutes she sat in silence, her mom occasionally shooting her worried looks over her book, trying to get the words out. She played with her sleeve, fidgeting as she tried to work up the courage to say the words tumbling in her head. She was terrified, more terrified than she could ever remember. Of course she thought her parents were going to accept her – this was Bex and Bowie she was talking about, the most accepting people she knew, and after everything they went through this should be nothing – but what if they didn’t?

She had been planning on waiting for Bowie to be back, but then her mom shot her another one of those concerned looks, and it just slipped out.

“Mom, I like girls.”

As soon as she said it, she fought the urge to bury her face in her hands. She couldn’t look at Bex, only heard her move closer from the rustle on the couch. Her heart was beating so fast and her face was hot and she felt like she was about to faint.

“Really?” her mother asked, her voice soft.

Andi could only nod weakly, still not meeting her eyes.

Then Bex said, “Okay, cool. Thanks for telling me.”

Andi looked up then. She had done it. She had come out. Oh, god, she had – she had come out.

It was out. She was out. If only to one person. She couldn’t take it back now. And she didn’t want to take it back.

She looked back at her mom, holding her breath. This couldn’t be it, there had to be more, her mom had to have an opinion on this, this couldn’t be it.

“Cool? That’s it?”

Bex moved to sit right next to her, a hand reaching up to go through Andi’s short hair. That, more than anything, helped Andi exhale. She still wasn’t sure she wasn’t going to pass out, but her mom still loved her. And that meant everything.

“Do you know how I met your dad?” Bex asked, pulling her out of her thoughts. Andi shook her head, still too emotional to say a word, and kind of wondering what this had to do with her coming out. “We were introduced to each other by my ex. Roxie.” Andi stared on, not getting her point, and Bex rolled her eyes fondly. “Short for Roxanne.”

Wait.

What?

“Funny story, she was his ex too,” Bex went on, Andi barely hearing her over her mind imploding. “When we started dating, we actually found out that we had four exes in common.”

And then, somehow, Andi found her voice again.

“You’re kidding.” Bex shook her head, deadly serious despite the teasing smile on her lips. And suddenly Andi burst out laughing. “You dated a girl called Roxie?”

“Hey, she was in a band! That’s always been my weakness.”

She joined in Andi’s laughter after a few seconds. Andi couldn’t help it. It was as if all the tension and worry that had been emanating off her for the past hour – no, longer than that, so much longer than that – had transformed into this dizzying mix of relief, glee and elation, leaving her light-headed with happiness. Bex seemed to get it – of course she did.

Bex hugged her after they had calmed down. “I’m proud of you,” she said quietly, and Andi wrapped her arms around her as tightly as she could.

Bowie found them like that a few minutes later. He asked what he had missed, and Andi almost laughed, despite the lead weight settling on her chest at the idea of doing this again, of coming out to another person. It wasn’t as huge this time, though. This time, she knew she was going to be okay.

“I like girls,” she said.

Her dad’s expression barely changed, aside from one of his eyebrows raising slightly. His eyes flitted over quickly to Bex, before settling onto Andi, a warm smile on his face.

“Cool,” he said, moving to sit next to her.

Andi did laugh this time, the elated feeling back in full force. “You two are made for each other.”

Bowie kissed the top of her forehead. The three of them stayed that way for the better part of the night, Andi sandwiched between her parents and feeling more at ease than she could remember.

 *

Andi was in a daze as she called Buffy and Cyrus, unable to sit in one place as the pixelized faces of her friends appeared on her phone.

“Andi? What’s –”

“I came out to my parents.”

There were a few seconds of silence, then an outburst.

“Andi, that’s amazing,” Cyrus said, beaming.

“How did it go?” Buffy asked.

Andi gave them a full recap, from her realisation to coming out to her parents to going back to her room and having too much energy to sit still, prompting her to call her friends at 10 at night.

“I’m so proud of you,” Cyrus said, and Andi felt a rush of affection for him so powerful she almost cried. She hadn’t even told Cyrus about any of this, but here he was, reacting perfectly as always.

“We’re going to give you at least a million hugs when we get back,” Buffy added, and this time Andi did cry. Only a few tears, mostly of relief, and Buffy and Cyrus didn’t comment on it, only kept smiling at her.

“I have to go,” Buffy eventually said. “We’re leaving early in the morning. But we’ll talk more tomorrow, okay?”

They said their goodbyes, and Andi laid down in her bed, smiling. She knew she wouldn’t be getting sleep anytime soon, but it was worth it if it was to feel like this. She was more hyper than she could ever remember, an energy running deep in her entire body. She felt unstoppable, as if anything were possible.

Her phone tinged with a notification, and she opened a message from Cyrus.

 Cyrus: so so proud of you <3

 Cyrus: I’m sorry I wasn’t there while you figuring things out

 Me: you were great

 Me: i promise

 Me: i just wasn’t ready to face it yet when you tried to get me to talk to you

I get it, he texted back, and Andi felt herself tear up again. Of course he understood. This was Cyrus. She felt a rush of love and affection go out to him.

 Me: i love you

 Cyrus: I love you too

 *

True to her word, Buffy greeted Andi with a huge hug that almost knocked the air out of her lungs. Andi hugged her back just as tightly. She had missed her. A lot.

“I missed you so much,” Buffy said, mirroring her thoughts. “And I’m so proud of you.”

She had come over to Andi’s as soon as she arrived back in Shadyside, the middle of the afternoon after Andi had come out to her parents. Emotions were still running pretty high.

She stayed over for the rest of the day, the two of them catching up about everything and nothing, until a text from Jonah lit up both their phones.

 Jonah: I’m back, let’s meet up

 Marty: YES YES YES

 Marty: FINALLY

 Marty: My girlfriend and my best friend back the same day. Perhaps miracles do exist

 TJ: rude

 Marty: How many times do I have to tell you

 Marty: You’re both my best friends

 Jonah: anyways

 Jonah: where are we meeting up?

Buffy rolled her eyes over at Andi, who just grinned. She didn’t think anything could dampen her mood today.

 Buffy: if you guys are done

 Buffy: I’m at Andi’s, she says you can all come over

 TJ: except for me and cy

 TJ: we’re excluded from everything

 Buffy: forgive me for not feeling bad for you two living your best life on the coast in a 4 star hotel

 TJ: smh

 *

Everyone did end up coming over to Andi’s, even Amber. She and Andi watched in fascination as Marty ran as fast as he could to pick Buffy up and spin her in his arms, a bright smile on both their faces.

“What was up with you leaving so fast yesterday?” she asked.

“I, uh, remembered I had something to tell my parents,” Andi stammered.

Amber raised an eyebrow. “Fine, keep your secrets, Mack.”

But Andi found that she really, really didn’t want to. She wanted to tell Amber, she wanted to tell everyone. And yet… There was still this feeling buried deep inside of her, the fear of bearing this part of herself again and it not going well. She knew it was irrational (Amber was a lesbian, for goodness’ sake, and three of their friends were also gay), but, well, she wasn’t known for being rational, was she?

She was spared from answering by Jonah walking through the door. Marty let out a roar of delight before rushing over so the two of them could proceed to do a very complicated handshake that lasted a good fifteen seconds. Buffy just stared in consternation the whole time.

They all crowded in the living room, Andi and Jonah ending up sitting on the floor when the couch couldn’t fit all of them. Andi and Amber listened to everyone recapping their holidays; Amber told everyone about Andi’s contest coming up, which prompted Buffy to say that they would all come to see the results; Jonah announced an upcoming gig. It wasn’t until Marty mentioned that they should all get together for a new movie night soon that Andi was reminded of what had happened the previous night.

She shot a look at Buffy, who just gave her a supportive smile. It’s your choice, I’ll support you no matter what, she seemed to be telling her.

Andi looked around at all her friends. Her heart was beating irrationally fast again, like it had every time before she attempted to come out, but she wasn’t worried, not really. These were her friends, the people she loved the most in the world. It was going to be okay.

So she straightened up, opened her mouth, and said, “You know how I left in the middle of the show last night?”

Jonah looked clueless, but Amber, Marty and Iris turned to look at her curiously. It was obvious that they had been concerned but decided not to mention anything (at least, in Iris and Marty’s cases).

“It’s because…” The words wouldn’t come out and Andi panicked, searching for Buffy, who nodded, and managed a small smile. Andi took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, and then she said it. “It’s because I realised that I like girls.”

There was a short stunned silence. Then Marty said, “Oooh, that makes sense,” and suddenly everyone was talking.

Jonah and Marty both hugged her, Iris joked that she hadn’t meant to awaken anything in her, and Amber just watched, giving her an unreadable look when Andi met her eyes.

“Anyways,” Buffy said once the excitement died down. “Food?”

The crew made their way to the kitchen, raiding the fridge. Andi made a mental note to pay Bex and Bowie back for a few of the things that would have mysteriously disappeared when they got back from the gym.

“Hey, Jonah,” Marty called, “what does it say about you that all three of your ex-girlfriends ended up being lesbians?”

Jonah gave him a look while everyone roared with laughter.

“Hey, I think I like boys, too,” Andi said. She caught Amber’s eye, who smiled almost shyly, looking down. “I don’t know. I’m still figuring it out.”

Amber gave her a tiny smile, something in her eyes that Andi couldn’t describe, and Andi’s heart skipped a beat.

The group separated not long after that; Iris said that she had to get going if she wanted to pick up Natalie from her ultimate frisbee practise, which prompted Jonah to go with her so that he could see his friend again. Marty and Buffy decided to go to the Spoon so that they could catch up.

Which left Andi with Amber.

“I, uh, I can go too, if you want,” Amber said after a few moments.

“You don’t have to,” Andi said, and was surprised to find that she meant it.

Amber smiled at that. She didn’t seem to be able to look at Andi directly in the eye, always looking away after a few seconds, but her gaze always seemed to find her anyways.

“No, it’s fine, I should go,” she said eventually. Andi nodded, a little disappointed. “But, uh…” She hesitated, looking away from Andi again. “I just wanted to say that I’m glad you worked it out.”

“You mean you knew?”

Amber blushed. “No, I just meant that I’ve been through trying to figure yourself out, and I know it’s not always fun. Or easy.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “If you… want to talk about it, or anything, I’m there. No pressure.”

Andi looked down, touched. “Thanks.”

Amber smiled. “I’ll see you around.”

Andi walked her to the door; Amber left and Andi went back inside, catching herself looking back at the other girl as she walked away.

[illbeyourreasonwhy]

So Much I Think It Must Be...

Chapter 4: Not That We’re Friends

“You know, you sure know a lot about her for someone who supposedly hates her.” “I don’t hate her, exactly. I just… like getting on her nerves.” “You’re very good at it.” “I know, thank you.”

Chapter 4 of my Ambi Enemies to Friends to Lovers fic!! You can read it on ao3 here, and from the beginning here

*

“That one, absolutely.”

“Glad we agree,” Andi said, putting one shirt back on the rack and the other in TJ’s arms. “You know I can carry my own stuff, right?”

“Nah, you’re too tiny.”

“Gee, thanks.” She paid for the shirt and they moved to the next stand. “We should go thrift shopping more often.”

“Agreed. Hey, check it out!” He pulled her over to a man selling top hats, and he enthusiastically put one on. “What do you think?”

Andi brought her hands together, grinning. “So handsome. Definitely wear that when you ask Cyrus out.”

TJ took the hat off, blushing. “Shut up.”

They moved onto the next stand and Andi nudged him. “Seriously, why don’t you? Ask him out, I mean. You know he’d say yes.”

“No I don’t know that, Andi,” he said, cheeks still red.

“Oh my god, you’re right, you taking him out on a date will absolutely destroy his huge crush on you.”

“He does not have a crush on me.”

“Whatever you say, TJ.”

They stopped at an elderly woman’s stand so that Andi could look at the different fabrics she was selling; maybe she could use some for one of her projects.

“You really think he likes me?” TJ finally mumbled, about five minutes after the conversation had ended.

“About as much as you like him,” Andi answered softly.

TJ didn’t say anything, so Andi smiled and paid for a baby blue cloth. She was well aware of the fact that TJ was not, in fact, going to tell Cyrus how he felt anytime soon, and that Cyrus wasn’t either. The two of them had been pining for each other for over a year and a half, which was obvious to exactly everyone but them. Marty had organised a betting pool as to when they would get together; Andi had fifteen dollars weighing on junior prom, almost a year away.

“We should go dirt biking again sometime,” TJ said, pulling her out of her thoughts. “We haven’t gone in ages.”

“Yeah, for sure,” Andi agreed. “How about Monday?”

“Can’t, I’m working on Monday. Maybe we could go tomorrow, though?”

“No, I’m meeting with Walker.”

“Walker?” TJ repeated, surprised. “I didn’t know you two were talking again.”

“Yeah, we ran into each other the other day and we decided to work on a mural together. You know, for old times’ sake.”

“Huh.” TJ smirked. “Is anything going on?”

“No, none of that,” Andi said. “We’re just friends.”

“Alright.” He gestured to an orange shirt displayed on the other side of the street. “Hey, what do you think of that?”

“Orange isn’t my colour,” she shrugged. “I’d give it to Amber.”

TJ looked confused. “To… Amber?”

“Yeah, she hates orange.”

“That makes more sense,” he said. “You know, you sure know a lot about her for someone who supposedly hates her.”

“I don’t hate her, exactly. I just… like getting on her nerves.”

“You’re very good at it.”

“I know, thank you.”

He laughed, wrapping an arm around her and dragging her over to a teenager selling a series of basketball t-shirts. Andi had long since given up on trying to save his fashion sense, so she let him excitedly go through the pile as she looked around.

Her gaze landed on a group of girls a few stands ahead of them. They were looking at some cheap jewelry, and Andi’s eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to one of the girls, to her wavy hair, to the way it framed her face perfectly, to her eyes and the way they lit up when she smiled, to that one loose strand of hair, to –

“… right, Andi? Andi?”

“Huh?”

“I was just saying… Are you okay?”

TJ asked, looking worried. Andi forced a smile. “Yeah, all good. How many shirts are you buying?”

TJ frowned, looking concerned. “You’re encouraging me to buy these shirts?”

He ended up buying three and they kept walking. He started talking about the basketball championship, glancing at her every few seconds but not pushing her to talk, which she appreciated. She wasn’t sure what it was she was feeling, exactly, except that there was something in her heart telling her that she wasn’t sure how long she was going to be able to pretend that the way she was looking at girls was only noticing how pretty they were. She was noticing them.

And that terrified her.

She stayed mostly quiet for the hour that followed, until TJ dropped her off in front of her house.

“Hey, TJ?” she asked just as he was about to leave.

“Yeah?”

“How… did you know you were gay?”

He blinked, opened his mouth, closed it, before schooling his face back to normal. “Why do you ask?”

“I’m just curious.”

She could tell he knew it wasn’t the whole truth, but he answered anyways. “I don’t know, I just… had crushes on boys. I didn’t even really think about it too much until… you know, everything that went down with Kira.”

“Right.” She glanced at him apologetically. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you think of her.”

He waved it off. “Don’t worry, I’m over it.”

He put a hand on her shoulder, before getting back on his motorcycle.

“Hey, Andi, whatever it is that’s going on… You’re okay. You know that, right?”

She hesitated, before walking over to him and pulling him into a hug. It was awkward because of the bike, but he hugged her back. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” He put his helmet back on. “So, dirt biking on… Tuesday?”

“Sounds good.”

*

“So, what are we working with?”

She and Walker were standing in front of a blank wall looking starkly similar to the one they had worked on together two years earlier. Walker brightened, gesturing to the paint behind him.

“I was thinking we could do a sort of nature theme, with a lot of green tones. Since we’re near the park and all that.”

“Alright,” Andi smiled. “Let’s get started.”

For the next hour they worked on it. Andi was having more fun than she remembered having in a long time; there was something so great in being able to work with someone on such a great surface.

“Wow, this actually looks good.”

They both turned to see Amber standing there. She looked impressed, despite the small twist at the corner of her lips.

“You don’t have to sound so surprised,” Andi said, but there was no heat to it.

“I’m not. I know you guys are both art-geniuses or something.”

“Art-geniuses?”

“You know what I mean.”

Walker smiled at her. “You’re welcome to join us, if you want.”

Why, oh why, did all of Andi’s friends have to take a liking to Amber?

“Oh, you guys seem to be doing just fine, I wouldn’t want to intrude,” Amber said, the twist in her lips deepening for a fraction of a second.

“Alright. Well, we’re running out of green paint, so I’m going to get some in my car. I’ll be back in five minutes,” Walker said.

Andi and Amber were left alone in an uneasy silence for a few seconds, before Amber straightened up. “Well, I best be going, too, so…”

Andi nodded, before turning back to look at the mural. She and Walker were about half-way done; it didn’t look like much yet, but when they would be done it would probably look spectacular.

“Wait, did you paint this? It looks horrid.”

She whirled around. “Excuse me?”

The guy who had spoken, a boy around her age, smirked, pointing at the painting. “I mean, come on, this looks absolutely awful. Like, a three-year-old could have done that.”

Andi blinked, her throat burning. Two years of feuding with Amber had made her pretty good at thinking of witty quips on her feet, but at the moment all she could think of was of how bad her hands were shaking and how hot her cheeks burned and how stupid she felt.

Until a new voice came in.

“Oh, and I suppose you think you could do better?”

Amber was back; she moved to stand in front of Andi, her arms crossed and looking absolutely murderous.

“Come on, step up, take a brush, I want to see what you can do.”

“I’m not some girl who paints in her free time.”

“Okay, a few things here,” Amber said. “I kind of feel like that was meant to be an insult, but I’m really failing to see how you thought that would be effective.” She uncrossed her arms, taking a step forward. “I mean, ‘girl’, really? You realise you’re trying to prove a point to two girls as you say that? And also, seriously? You’re what, sixteen, and you think ‘girl’ is an effective insult in 20-fucking-19?” She turned back to shoot a look at Andi, who was too frozen by what was happening to react. “And, I mean, if you want to diss her painting, you might want to go with something other than ‘someone who paints’; like, that’s just unimaginative.” She took another step forward. “And lastly, who do you think you are? What exactly are you trying to accomplish here?”

The boy rolled his eyes. “You done?”

“No, I’m not, actually,” Amber snapped. “What’s your problem? Yeah, she’s a pain in the ass, do you think that gives you a right to insult her?”

“Girl, chill out, no one insulted her.”

"No, you just humiliated her and wanted everyone to know that you are oh so superior because you were able to align three words to insult a work in progress."

"Everyone? You do realise that no one is here, right?"

“Right, which is a shame because no one is here to see how absolutely pathetic you are, trashing a painting just so that you’ll feel better about your sorry self.” Andi blinked. Amber crossed her arms, staring the boy down. “Get out of here.”

The boy scoffed, turning around and leaving. “Whatever, psycho.”

“Right, I’m the psycho for defending my friend.” She turned sharply to Andi. “Not that we’re friends.”

Andi nodded, still stunned. “Noted.”

Amber didn’t uncross her arms until the boy was out of sight. “What a jerk.”

Andi swallowed, still staring at Amber. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to act. Bitchy Amber she knew how to deal with. An Amber who had her back… that was new.

“You didn’t have to do that,” she finally said. “Thank you.”

“No big deal. I’m the only one who’s allowed to mess with you like that.”

Andi let out a surprised laugh. “I’m strangely honored.”

“Good. You should be.”

There was a hesitant smile on Amber’s lips, mirroring Andi’s perfectly. Her eyes wouldn’t meet Andi’s for more than a few seconds at a time, altering between looking down and glancing at the mural behind her. She played with the strap of her purse, looking almost vulnerable. (That was impossible, though. Amber didn’t get vulnerable. Not in front of Andi, at least.)

“Well… I’m going to get going. Have fun with…” she gestured at the painting, “… art, and everything.”

“Thanks.”

Amber turned, before glancing back at Andi, her smile strangely comforting.

“Hey, don’t listen to him. Your painting is… not that bad.”

Andi felt something bubble in her chest. “Is that as close to a compliment that you can get?” she asked, her smile fonder and less cynical than usual.

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“I’ll take it.”

Amber smiled again. “See you around, Andi.”

“See you.”

She couldn’t help but watch her leave, averting her eyes hastily when Amber looked back so that she wouldn’t catch her staring.

[illbeyourreasonwhy]

So Much I Think It Must Be...

Chapter 2 of my Ambi Enemies to Friends to Lovers fic!! You can read it on ao3 here

Hope you like it!

*

Andi grinned and raced across the street, pausing to tap on her friend’s shoulder.

“Hey, TJ. Want to help me get back at Amber?”

TJ only raised an eyebrow. “Not particularly, no.”

Andi pouted. “Come on, please?”

“What is it even for, this time?”

“To make up for the laser tag disaster yesterday.”

“Wasn’t that both your faults?”

“Yeah, but she started it.”

I see.” They reached Cyrus’ house and TJ rang the doorbell, looking at her with barely concealed amusement. “If, and I mean if, I say yes, what do you want me to do?”

Andi grinned. “Just distract her while I take her bag.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re nicking her stuff again?”

“Borrowing,” Andi corrected. It was true that it had become common for some of Amber’s things to go missing, but they were always returned eventually. It wasn’t about stealing, it was about how crazy it drove Amber.

TJ opened his mouth, looking like he was about to say something, then shook his head, apparently deciding it wasn’t worth voicing. “Okay, so you just want me to talk to her?”

“Yes, I’ll take care of the rest.”

The front door opened, revealing Buffy and Cyrus, who frowned. “What rest?”

“None of your concern,” Andi said, and Cyrus sighed, looking at TJ.

“Don’t tell me you’re helping her pull a prank on Amber again.”

How did you –” TJ shook his head. “Well, for the record, I haven’t said yes yet.”

Andi huffed. “Fine, I’ll do it myself.” Now that Cyrus was here, there was no way she was going to be able to convince TJ to help out.

Cyrus glanced at her warily. “What are you going to do?”

“Nothing.” He gave her a look, and she rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to dye her hair pink again.”

“That was a fun day,” Buffy commented, moving aside to let them in.

The gang had decided that they were all going to hang out at Cyrus’ for the afternoon, but it appeared that they were the only four to be there yet. “Amber is working late,” Cyrus said, reading her mind. “The others must be on their way. Do you want to watch me crush Buffy at table tennis?”

“You are not crushing me.”

TJ shot Andi a look. “I’ve got to see this.”

Before long, the rest of their friends had arrived, and everyone was having a good time. TJ, Marty and Jonah were daring each other to stuff as many marshmallows in their mouths as they could; Buffy was attempting, again, to beat Cyrus at table tennis, and Amber and Iris were talking on the couch, watching as Jonah gagged on his ninth marshmallow.

Which meant that there was nobody looking as Andi caught sight of Amber’s water bottle abandoned on the kitchen table.

It was unmistakably Amber’s; if the bright pink colour wasn’t enough for Andi to recognise it, the block AMBER written in obnoxiously big letters across the front was a dead giveaway.

Andi glanced around quickly, saw that no one was paying her attention, and grabbed the bottle.

A few minutes later she rushed over to TJ, a wicked smile on her face. He raised an eyebrow as soon as he saw her.

“I switched Amber’s water with apple juice,” she told him gleefully.

TJ stared. “Okay?”

"She hates apple juice. It’s going to be hilarious.”

TJ opened his mouth, but before he could say anything Andi nudged him excitedly and pointed over to Amber, who was reaching for her bottle. She took a sip, froze, and rushed over to the sink to spit it out.

“Andi!”

“Yeah?”

Amber glared at her, wiping her mouth, and dunked the rest of her bottle’s contents out before rinsing it.

"What a waste of apple juice,” Jonah commented sadly.

“Nah, I only put enough for one sip,” Andi reassured him. “And it was totally worth it.”

Amber glared at her. “You’re dead.”

“Really? That’s odd, I could have sworn I was still standing here.”

She pointed a finger at her, pursing her lips. “You’re going to regret this. I’m not sure how yet, but I’ll think of something.”

Andi rolled her eyes. “Come on, it’s just a bit of fun.”

“Yeah, like how spraying your white shirt with red paint was fun,” Amber reminisced.

“That stain still hasn’t come out,” Andi said sharply. “You owe me a new shirt.”

“You owe me a bottle of shampoo.”

“That was a year ago, get over it.”

“Okay, okay,” Cyrus cut in. “We get it. Loads of fun. How about we eat the cookies TJ made now?”

With a final withering look, Amber turned away from Andi and followed Cyrus to the living room.

TJ raised an eyebrow. “I guess you didn’t need my help.”

Andi couldn’t help a satisfied smile. “I guess not.” TJ nudged her and she grabbed his arm to pull him along. “Come on, let’s go eat your cookies.”

*

“Hey, Andi!”

Andi looked up. Jonah was sitting on a bench across the street from her, waving her over. “Hey,” she smiled. “What’s up?”

“Guess who I was just on the phone with?” he asked excitedly. “Natalie!”

Andi looked between his phone and him warily. “Your ex Natalie?”

“Yeah, she’s coming over to Shadyside for the summer! Isn’t that great?”

Andi wasn’t sure great was the word she would have used, but she mustered a smile. Natalie and Jonah had dated right after he and Andi had broken up, but they hadn’t lasted long, deciding that they worked better as friends in the end. Even so, she had never been able to shake the weird feeling she got when it came to Natalie, like she had one-upped her or something.

“That’s nice,” she said anyways. “You must be excited to see her again.”

Natalie had moved away a year ago, but they had stayed in touch. Jonah nodded, beaming. “Her family is staying in California, so she’s going to be hopping from friend’s house to friend’s house, apparently. I’d offer, but since I’m leaving two days after she arrives…” His eyes brightened. “Hey, Andi, why not have her stay with you? You’re staying here during the whole holidays, right?”

“Yeah.” Andi grimaced. It figured that the only two people in their friend group who wouldn’t be going anywhere would be her and Amber. “We don’t have an extra room, though.”

“Ah, too bad. Well, I’m sure she’ll find something.”

Andi offered him a smile, a little bemused that he had even thought of her in the first place what with her weird history with Natalie. Natalie had been the reason she and Jonah had broken up; Andi had kept being paranoid about Jonah having a better connection with the other girl than with her.

That was all in the past, though. And Jonah had really missed her, so she smiled at him again, deciding that she was going to be happy for her friend no matter what.

“I should go,” she said. “I was going to go paint at the park.”

Jonah, if it were possible, brightened even more. “Oh, have fun! Can I see it when you’re done?”

“Yeah, of course,” she grinned. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you!”

“Am I dreaming, or is that Andi Mack I see?”

Andi looked up from her painting to find a familiar face smiling at her.

“Walker!”

He grinned at her; there was an awkward moment where they simply looked at each other before he wrapped an arm around her and she smiled, hugging him back.

“What’s it been, a year?”

“I think so. How are you?”

“Good, good,” Walker smiled. “Wait, did you paint this?”

She glanced at the painting she was working on, suddenly a little bashful. “It’s a work in progress.”

“It’s really good.” He smiled at her. “Hey, I actually have to paint a mural next week, do you want to help? For old time’s sake?”

She smiled. “That sounds –”

“Andi, your mother needs you at her store.”

Andi turned, her smile dimming. “Amber.”

Amber raised an eyebrow, seeming as pleased to see her as she was.

Walker looked between the two of them, oblivious. “Oh, you’re Amber! I’ve heard so much about you.”

Amber glanced between the two of them. “Hopefully not from her.”

“So the feud is real.”

“Unfortunately,” Andi answered, turning to Amber. “Why did my mom tell you she needs to see me?”

“I had an appointment, so she asked when I left. She told me you’d be here.” She crossed her arms. “I trust you’ll find your way there.”

“Wow, so nice to see you too, Amber.”

Walker was still looking between the two of them. “Wow, you two really don’t like each other, huh?”

“Not really, no.”

“What happened?”

Andi frowned. “What do you mean?”

“This.” He gestured between the two girls. “How did it start?”

Andi sighed. “I don’t know, it’s always been like this. That’s just how it is.”

“Yeah,” Amber scoffed, “trust me, there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Walker didn’t look convinced. “Okay, but… it had to start somewhere, right?”

Andi and Amber glanced at each other, neither saying anything as they shared a measured look. Finally Amber looked away, glaring at nothing in particular. “She started dating my ex-boyfriend the day after he dumped me.”

Walker blinked. That apparently hadn’t been what he was expecting. “Oh. Okay.”

Andi huffed, outraged. “That’s nothing, she abandoned me at the top of a Ferris wheel in the middle of the night!”

“What? Yeah, that’s… pretty bad.”

“Yeah, okay, that was shitty of me,” Amber rolled her eyes, “but you’re still the one who started it.”

Andi threw her hands in the air. “You didn’t even like Jonah!”

“That’s not the point! You don’t go out with a guy a day after he broke up with his girlfriend, that’s basic decency!”

“Woah,” Walker said, tentatively stepping in between them.

If his attempt had been to calm them down, it was thoroughly unsuccessful. Both Amber and Andi looked like they were getting angrier by the second, their voices raising with each word.

“What you did was way worse! I got arrested!”

“You did?” Walker asked, bewildered.

“Oh please, you didn’t even spend the whole night in jail.”

“That’s a standard for you?” Walker was starting to look concerned.

“Either way, I am not the one who started it, you were horrible to me long before I started dating Jonah.”

“Because I could tell you were after him!”

“Okaaaay…” Walker physically pushed them slightly away from each other. “Clearly you were both in the wrong. But this was… two years ago, right? And you’re both over Jonah, so why are you still fighting now?”

Andi gave him a look. “Did you miss the part where she abandoned me on a Ferris wheel?”

“Oh for goodness’ sake, I was going to come back for you.”

“Oh, really? Was that before or after my parents had to bail me out of jail?”

Amber rolled her eyes. “They didn’t actually bail you out, they just had to pick you up and bring you home.”

Walker spoke up before this could turn into another argument. “Okay, so this is what this is? A two-year-old grudge from a prank gone wrong?”

“'Prank gone wrong’ is one way to put it,” Andi said, raising her eyebrows.

“Besides, are you saying we shouldn’t be holding grudges against each other? In case you missed the last five minutes, there’s a bit of a history between us.”

“Yeah,” Walker agreed. “History. I don’t get why it’s lasted so long, especially since your friends are all okay with each other.”

“Why do you care?” Andi asked, starting to get annoyed.

“I’m just trying to understand,” he answered, even though he looked like he was starting to regret ever asking in the first place.

“Are you trying to therapize us?” Amber asked, sounding almost insulted. “Because Cyrus already gave it a go, so don’t bother.”

“Noted,” Walker nodded. “I’ll let you hate each other in peace.”

“How kind of you.” Amber shouldered her bag. “Well, that was enough to fill my Andi-quota of the day, so I’m going to go.”

Andi crossed her arms. “Don’t let me keep you.”

“Always a pleasure, Andi.”

Andi didn’t uncross her arms until Amber was out of view, before turning back to Walker, who looked at loss for what to say.

“So… Mural? Next week?”

[illbeyourreasonwhy]

So Much I Think It Must Be...

Chapter 5 of my Ambi Enemies to Friends to Lovers fic is HERE!!

The gang decides to go to the beach, and Andi is asked to pick Amber up. What could possibly go wrong?

You can read it from the start here

Enjoy!

[illbeyourreasonwhy]

So Much I Think It Must Be...

Chapter 3 of my Ambi Enemies to friends to lovers fic!! You can read it on ao3 here

***

Jonah jumped into the pool, effectively sending splashes of water in Andi’s face. She squealed and moved away, only to get hit with more water when TJ cannonballed in as well. When she saw Marty ready to do the same, she hastily backed away and swam towards the other side of the pool, where Buffy, Iris and Amber were talking.

“The boys are being idiots,” she said as a way of greeting.

“What else is new,” Buffy shrugged, glancing over at where the three of them were trying to convince Cyrus to climb onto TJ’s shoulders to face off Marty and Jonah in a game of pushing the other into the water.

It was the day before Buffy left on holidays for a month. Two days after that Iris and Marty would be going to New York for three weeks, and Jonah would be gone a few days later as well. This, Marty and Jonah had stressed, meant that the gang had to spend their last day all together in Iris and Marty’s pool.

Amber hoisted herself out of the pool and sat on the edge, leaning back. “At least the weather is nice,” she commented, legs dangling in the water.

Andi averted her eyes. There was something about the way Amber looked right now, relaxed and pretty and happy, that was pulling at her chest. She didn’t want to think about it too much, because then she would have to think about what that meant, and she wasn’t sure that was a good idea.

She shook her head. There was nothing wrong with thinking a girl looked pretty. That just meant she had eyes. Smiling, she turned to Buffy and tuned back into the conversation.

Growing bored with the basketball talk, she sneaked a glance back up at Amber. She was leaning back fully on her forearms now, basking in the sun with her eyes closed. She looked – well, beautiful, and Andi really needed a distraction before she started thinking about this for too long. Grinning, she splashed Amber with as much water as she could.

Amber’s eyes flew open and she jerked forward. “Andi!”

“Wh- hey, why do you assume it’s me?”

Amber kicked water towards her face as an answer, but missed and splashed Buffy instead.

“Hey, I’m just an innocent bystander!” Buffy defended, throwing water at Amber in retaliation.

Amber jumped into the water, and before long it devolved into an all-out war between the four girls. Andi was laughing when she suddenly felt a tug at her ankle, dragging her underwater. She fought her way back to the surface only to find a grinning Amber waiting for her. Andi splashed water at her face; Amber dodged, laughing, and after a moment Andi couldn’t help but laugh too. They stayed that way for a moment, and Amber opened her mouth, only to get interrupted by the boys loudly joining in on the water fight. Andi got roped into teaming up with Buffy to throw as much water as possible onto TJ’s head, but when Amber joined in and their eyes met in the midst of all the mischief, Andi couldn’t help but think that Amber was actually pretty fun to be around when they weren’t arguing.

Then Jonah tried to push her under the water and that thought was washed away.

“What time are you leaving tomorrow?”

“Like six in the morning,” Buffy groaned.

“Ugh,” Andi grimaced, drying her hair with a towel.

“Yeah, I actually –”

“Andi, where are my sunglasses?”

Andi turned around. Amber was there, hair still damp from the water fight and raising an expectant eyebrow.

Andi shrugged. “Why would I know?”

“Because you took them.”

“Uh, no I didn’t.”

“Uh, yes you did.” Amber didn’t look amused. “Andi, come on. Just give me the damn glasses.”

“I told you, I don’t know where they are!”

The brewing argument was starting to attract the others’ attention. “Are you sure they aren’t in your bag?” Buffy asked Amber.

“I already checked,” Amber said, still looking at Andi. “And this one has a knack for stealing my stuff, so you can’t blame me for asking.“

“It’s not stealing, it’s borrowing,” Andi snapped.

“Wow, you’re right, I have no idea why I thought you might have something to do with this.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Cyrus sighed, glancing down at TJ who was still in the water. “I knew this day was going too well,” he muttered, causing Andi to tense and take a step away from Amber.

“I didn’t take your glasses. Move on.”

She started to leave, but Amber followed her, still fuming. “You’re not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be.”

“Just give it up already, Andi, I’m supposed to already be on my way home.”

“I don’t know where they are, okay?”

Amber looked like she was about to say something else when Iris called her name.

“Amber, Amber, I have them.” Amber whirled around; Iris was exiting the house, holding the infamous sunglasses. “You left them inside.”

“Oh.” Amber took the glasses, cheeks reddening. “Thanks.” She shuffled awkwardly, avoiding Andi’s gaze. “I guess I was wrong.”

“Yeah, so maybe think next time before going around accusing people without proof,” Andi snapped.

Amber raised an eyebrow. “Really, Andi? You want to play the ‘don’t jump to conclusions’ card on me?”

Andi swallowed. There had been a fair share of situations over the years where her tendency to assume things without having the whole story had caused trouble for the entire gang, including a time where she had thought Amber and Jonah were getting back together that had led to Amber coming out to everyone.

“Okay, fine, that’s fair. But I didn’t steal your glasses, so lay off.”

Amber shook her head, looking like she had a million answers to that, but she ended up only glaring. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” she finally said venomously before stalking away.

Andi stared after her. “I’m what?”

“Hey.”

Andi looked up from her bag. Amber was there, looking a lot calmer than she had been ten minutes ago.

“I thought you’d left.”

“Yeah, I’m about to head out,” Amber said. “I just wanted to apologize first.”

Andi shrugged. “Okay, let’s hear it.”

Amber looked confused, before remembering that apologizing meant actually saying something.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. She played with the strap of her bag, avoiding Andi’s eyes. The silence stretched around them, long and uncomfortable. “You can’t blame me for suspecting you, though,” Amber suddenly added. “Just last week you snuck my lip gloss from my purse.”

“You could have stopped at ‘I’m sorry.’” Amber gave her a look, and Andi caved. “Fine, I’m sorry too. For all the pickpocketing.” She looked down, before meeting Amber’s gaze, wanting to make something clear. “You know I’d never actually steal from you, though, right? I mean, it’s fun because it annoys you, but I’ll always give you your stuff back.”

“I know. It’s really immature, but it does also always set me off, so I get why you do it. I shouldn’t have overreacted.”

“It’s okay.”

The two of them hovered in a cautious silence, both staring and waiting for the other to say something.

Amber eventually smiled. “Look at us, having an actual conversation.”

“I know, who would have thought?”

“Does this mean you’re going to stop stealing my stuff?”

“Oh, definitely not.”

“Oh, come on!”

*

“You are so wrong – I just – I don’t even know where to begin to explain to you how wrong you are.”

TJ shook his head. “Uh, no, I’m right. The correct order is 3, 1, 2. Back me up here, Cyrus.”

Cyrus glanced between the two of them, seemingly thinking it over. “I hate to say this, but…” He shrugged. “You’re both wrong.”

This caused cries of outrage from both Andi and TJ.

“I’m sorry, but it’s true! The best High School Musical movies are, in order, 1, 2, 3.”

“Are you kidding me?” Andi cried, while TJ just stared, disappointed. “The second one has ‘Gotta Go My Own Way,’ it automatically wins.”

“How is that a win, do you enjoy crying in your free time?”

“Says the guy who put the third one first. Just – how, TJ?”

“Have you seen the quality of the production for that movie?” TJ said. “The shots, the budget, everything is just one step up from the others. Plus, it’s the only one to have been released in theaters.”

“You were too young to see it in theaters, TJ.”

Andi punctuated that statement with a dignified slurp from her drink. How the three of them had gone from going out for milkshakes to debating which High School Musical movie was the best she wasn’t sure, but she was going to stand by her opinion no matter what TJ and Cyrus threw at her.

They sat around a booth, TJ still going on and on about how amazing the movie was, and Andi opened her mouth to argue when her eyes landed on a group of girls in the corner of the shop. There were three of them, maybe a year or two older than her, and she suddenly found that she couldn’t pull her eyes away. Were that from the tall dark-haired one with the dangling earrings, the strawberry-blonde one who was twirling a strand of her curly hair around her finger, or the blonde one whose dark makeup had Andi staring at her eyes, her cheekbones, her lips. The word beautiful popped into her head before she could fight it, her heart twisting into a sort of little jump.

They were giggling at something on the dark-haired one’s phone, and Andi felt an unexplainable, irrational urge to know what it was that was making them laugh like that, to know what it would take for it to be her to have that effect on them. The blonde one glanced around, her eyes meeting Andi’s for half a second, and Andi felt her breath catch in her throat.

What was that about?

She lowered her eyes, cheeks flaming.

“What do you think, Andi?”

She forced her gaze back up to meet Cyrus’. “Sorry, what?”

“We decided that the only way to work out who was right was to have a movie night,” Cyrus repeated. “What were you looking at?”

“Nothing,” she said hastily, but he looked wildly around until he saw something behind her and his face fell.

“Please don’t make a scene,” he pleaded. “She’s all the way over there, we don’t need to cause any drama.”

“What?” She twisted around to see Amber and Jonah walk into the milkshake place and felt something in her heart drop. Amber looked – stunning, her mind supplied unhelpfully, absolutely stunning. Andi couldn’t even find it in herself to silence this voice in her head, because it was the truth; Amber always looked good, but today she was exceptionally beautiful. She had put her hair up, and she was wearing a particularly nice dress, but it wasn’t even about her outfit – she looked good, had a sort of air about her that made it impossible not to notice her.

It wasn’t news to anyone that Amber was beautiful, but it was really hitting Andi with full force right at that moment. Which was not helping Andi’s already flustered emotions in the slightest. Instead she found herself staring, unable to react, and desperately refusing to think about what any of this might mean.

She was still frozen when Jonah caught sight of the three of them and dragged Amber over with a bright smile on his face.

“Hi guys!”

Andi watched silently as they sat down in the booth and exchanged greetings, torn between avoiding Amber’s eyes and staring at her. She had hoped that maybe Amber looked especially nice from afar, but now that she was closer it was impossible to ignore it. With her hair out of her face, everything about her features was highlighted, from the subtle makeup to a necklace bringing out the colour of her eyes. She was positively glowing.

She had absolutely no business looking so cute on this random unimportant day, and Andi was very, very annoyed.

Amber raised an eyebrow at her from across the booth; Andi stood up.

“I’m – I’m gonna go,” she stuttered out.

She tried to get out of the booth, which was kind of difficult since she was sandwiched between TJ and Jonah. She forced her way out, avoiding the curious stares she knew the others were giving her, but paused when Amber spoke up, her voice demanding her attention – but there was something else underlying, an emotion Andi was too frazzled to put her finger on.

“What, now you can’t even be in the same room as me?”

Andi let out a disbelieving breath, turning around but still not meeting her eyes. “Not everything is about you, Amber.”

“Pot calling the kettle, Andi.”

Andi rolled her eyes, tried to think of an answer, and shuffled on her feet when she couldn’t find anything. “See you guys later, okay?”

She was out of the shop before any of them could answer.

The fresh air hit her like a ton of bricks and she took a deep breath, leaning against the wall. Her heart was still doing these weird little jumps and her stomach was in knots and she didn’t understand. She buried her face in her hands, trying to think what had just happened through, but it was hard to do so when she had no idea what had just happened.

“Andi?”

She lowered her hands and found Cyrus staring worriedly back at her.

“Hey,” she said weakly.

“You forgot your milkshake,” he said hastily, handing it to her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Andi,” he said, quietly, and she sighed.

“I don’t know,” she answered. “I don’t know what happened back there.” She thought about those girls, about the strange feeling that arose within her, about her inability to look Amber in the eye, and almost felt as if she were back there, the memory overwhelming her more powerfully than anything she had ever felt before. “It was just… too much.”

Cyrus gave her a tiny smile, concern written all over his face. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

“Yeah. I know.” And she did know that, she really did. If she were to talk to anyone about what was going out with her, Cyrus would probably be her first choice. She just couldn’t figure out how to get the words out. “I just don’t know what to say.”

“Well, that’s okay.” He reached for her hand and squeezed it. “But if you figure it out, I’m here.”

She pulled him into a hug, a rush of affection bubbling in her chest. “Thanks, Cy.”

He only smiled and hugged her back.

“Do you want to come back in?” he asked her when they let go.

She shook her head. “You go, though.”

“We’re probably just going to brainstorm ideas for when to hold our High School Musical marathon.”

She could tell he was trying to alleviate the mood and she smiled gratefully. “I vote to wait till the others are back from holiday. That way we can do it all together.”

He grinned. “That’s a good idea. Maybe we could make it a back-to-school thing.”

“Now that’s just depressing.”

He laughed, giving her a fond look. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked after a moment.

She nodded. “Don’t worry about me.”

He gave her a look that said he was definitely going to worry but didn’t push it. “I’ll call you later?”

“Sounds good.”

He smiled again and went back inside the milkshake shop, but she stayed where she was for a long time. Still leaning against the wall, she tried to think back to the turmoil she had been in when Amber sat across from her, tried to remember the unknown emotions swarming her head.

All she could think of were butterflies in her stomach.

[illbeyourreasonwhy]

So Much I Think It Must Be..

Chapter 7: Always Expecting the Worst from Me

Amber frowned, taking in her appearance. “Are you wearing your pajamas?”

“Screw you, Amber. It’s 2 in the morning and I was still sleeping fifteen minutes ago, so yes, I’m wearing my pajamas.”

Amber hastily shook her head, looking pained. “I know, I know, I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have called, but Iris and Marty are out of town, and TJ wasn’t picking up.”

“Yeah, probably because it’s 2 am.”

*

Almost a week after the party, Andi woke up with a start, glancing blearily at her alarm clock. It was 1:53 in the morning and she groaned, wondering what had woken her.

She turned over, hoping to fall back asleep, before noticing her phone was lit up. With a sigh, she reached over and grabbed it, fumbling to unlock it to find two new texts.

Unknown number: [location drop]

Unknown number: Hey I know it’s late but do you mind picking me up?

Andi frowned, rubbing her eyes to try and stay awake, and typed a reply.

Me: who is this?

The next message was instantaneous.

Unknown number: Seriously? It’s Amber

Andi sat up.

Me: how did you get my number?

Unknown number: We’re in the same group chat.

Oh. Right.

Unknown number: So, about that lift?

Me: amber, it’s 2 in the morning

Unknown number: Please.

Andi hesitated. The last thing she wanted to do was sneak out in the middle of the night to pick Amber up from some unknown location. On the other hand, if Amber had asked help from her of all people, it was probably serious…

She sighed, looking at the location. It wasn’t that far.

Me: fine.

 Andi got off her bike and tugged her jacket tighter around her, looking around her as she walked over to Amber.

“Where are we?”

Amber frowned, taking in her appearance. “Are you wearing your pajamas?”

“Screw you, Amber. It’s 2 in the morning and I was still sleeping fifteen minutes ago, so yes, I’m wearing my pajamas.”

Amber hastily shook her head, looking pained. “I know, I know, I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have called, but Iris and Marty are out of town, and TJ wasn’t picking up.”

“Yeah, probably because it’s 2 am.” She rubbed her temple and was about to continue on a rant when she noticed Amber’s appearance. She was shivering, wearing only a crop top and a pair of tight jeans, and Andi immediately felt herself soften. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Amber said, rubbing her arms; there was something shaken in her expression, something vulnerable, and Andi took a step closer.

“Here,” she said, taking off her jacket and forcing herself not to flinch at the cold. “You look like you need it more than I do.”

Amber made to refuse, already shaking her head, but Andi handed her the jacket and she slipped it on after a few seconds. Now that she was standing closer to her, however, Andi couldn’t help but frown as she caught a whiff of alcohol.

“Have you been drinking?”

Amber shook her head. “It’s not me. I was at a party, and there were some people drinking. I’m clean, though.”

Andi raised an eyebrow. “There was a party here?” she asked, gesturing to the cold and deserted street they were standing in.

“A few blocks away.” If Andi listened closely, she thought she could hear faint music in the distance. “Wasn’t my scene.”

“Did something happen?” Andi asked, her breath catching in her throat in sudden worry.

Amber shook her head. “I’m fine. I’m fine, I promise,” she added more firmly when she saw the look on Andi’s face. Andi felt her shoulders relax slightly. “I just want to get out of here.”

Andi was about to ask her to elaborate, but one look at the vulnerability in Amber’s face, at the way she was still hugging her arms close to her body as if to shield herself from the world, convinced her to leave it alone. All Amber needed was a lift, and that was what Andi would give her.

“Alright. Hop on,” she said, gesturing to her bike. “I’ll take you home. I think I remember the directions to your place.”

Amber stopped in her tracks. “Don’t take me home. Please, anywhere but there.”

“I’m sorry, do you want me to drop you off at a hotel?” Amber didn’t answer, a pleading look in her eyes, and Andi tried to keep the bite out of her voice. “Sorry. Are things bad at home?”

Amber gave her a helpless shrug. “Not bad, exactly. I just… I want to get away from there for a bit.”

“Amber…”

“No. No pity, remember?” Andi bit her tongue, and Amber raised her head to look at her. “I’m okay, I promise. I just don’t want to go home tonight.”

That didn’t sound like okay, but Andi didn’t know if it she was allowed to step in.

“Alright,” she said eventually. “You can sleep over at my place.”

Amber’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. But be quiet about it, okay? I don’t want to wake my parents.”

Amber immediately nodded. “Thank you.”

The ride back to the Macks’ was quiet - which, well, obviously, since it wasn’t the easiest thing to have a chat while on a motorcycle. But Andi thought there was something different about this silence, different from the one that came from their arguments, their misunderstandings, their fights - familiar territory. This was something new, a kind of tension coming from the lack of knowledge on how to proceed when they were helping each other out.

The fact that Amber’s hands were wrapped around her waist wasn’t helping, either.

 They snuck back into the house silently, and Andi pointed Amber over to the bathroom. “In case you want to shower,” she whispered. “Which I suggest you do. You stink of booze and sweat and general party smells.”

“Wow, really feeling the love, Mack,” Amber drawled, rolling her eyes, but she did as was told.

The water was already running by the time Andi realised she hadn’t given Amber a change of pajamas, or even a towel. Wow, she really sucked as a host.

She sighed and gathered a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, deciding to leave them at the door of the bathroom, and almost knocked over Bex as they both exited their rooms.

“Mom! What are you doing up?” she whispered.

“3 am snack,” Bex answered as if it were obvious. “What are you doing up? And why is the shower running if you’re out here?”

Andi bit her lip, considering her options, then eventually settled for telling the truth.

“Amber’s in there.”

Bex’s tired eyes widened. “Amber? As in, the-hate-of-your-life-Amber?”

“That’s the one.”

Her mom narrowed her gaze. “I thought we didn’t like Amber.”

“We don’t.” Andi could see how this might not look like it made a lot of sense. “She just needed a place to crash for the night. I’ll explain in the morning.”

Bex didn’t look convinced, but she nodded. “Okay. As long as this isn’t a hostage situation or anything.”

“It’s not.”

“Very well. I’ll be in the kitchen.”

“Good night.”

 Amber came back into the room five minutes later, her hair still damp and wearing shorts and a t-shirt that was slightly too small for her, asked, “Where should I sleep?”, and Andi realised she may not have thought this through.

“Oh, uh.” She glanced around her room, as if hoping a separate bed would magically appear under her gaze, before rubbing the back of her neck. “We can share the bed. I mean, uh, if you don’t mind.” For some reason she couldn’t meet Amber’s eyes.

Amber shrugged. “Alright.”

She slipped under the covers, and Andi stilled, trying to figure out what to do. She shuffled on her feet, went to turn the light off, then slowly moved to the other side of the bed. She paused for half a second, internally wondering why she was suddenly so nervous, then gave herself a mental push and got into bed.

It was normal to be nervous, she rationalised. She and Amber had only been on somewhat-okay-terms for less than a week. It was perfectly normal for her to be a little weirded out about sharing a bed with her. There was no other reason her heart was speeding up a notch. Nope. No other reason at all.

Amber twitched and Andi froze. Then they were both laying perfectly still, each on one side of the bed with enough space for another person between them, not a word being spoken despite both of them being awake.

Andi willed herself to close her eyes and let herself fall asleep, but her eyes were rooted to the ceiling, somehow convinced that if she moved an inch, something would happen.

So they both stayed silent.

Until –

“Hey, you awake?”

Damn it.

“Andi?”

“Mmh?” Andi hummed, stubbornly keeping her eyes on the ceiling.

“Thanks for letting me crash here.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“I’m serious.” She felt Amber move a little, but somehow couldn’t dare glance over to be sure. “I know things aren’t always… easy between us. It means a lot that you went through all this trouble for me tonight.”

“Amber, seriously, don’t worry about it.” Andi gave in and turned on her side, meeting Amber already facing her, close enough to make out her expression in the dark. She looked tired, but her eyes were earnest. Andi bit her lip, and admitted, “I’d rather you sleep here than you go and waste yourself away at some stupid party.”

A curious emotion flickered in Amber’s eyes, too quick for Andi to catch in in the dark, but she smirked. “Does this mean I can drop in whenever I feel like I’m about to make a stupid decision?”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Amber laughed, and Andi let herself smile as well, feeling some of the tension ease out of her shoulders. But as she watched the other girl’s head fall back onto the pillow, she felt something uncoil in her chest. “Actually… yeah.”

Amber raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”

Andi closed her eyes for a second, psyching herself to keep going and hoping she wasn’t making a fool of herself. “I’m just saying… that if it comes down to it, then, yeah. You can come here instead of doing something stupid. Even if I know you’re just going to use that to annoy me now.”

“You know me too well,” Amber teased, avoiding her eyes.

They stayed that way for a few minutes. They were both still lying on their sides, facing each other, and Andi forced herself to close her eyes to avoid doing something stupid. Like staring at Amber for too long. Or at all.

“I kind of thought you weren’t going to come.”

Andi opened her eyes. Amber was staring above her shoulder.

“Earlier, I mean. I was afraid you wouldn’t show.”

“You thought I would just leave you hanging after specifically saying I was on my way?”

Amber shrugged, which was proven to be difficult with one shoulder obstructed by the mattress. “You sounded kind of pissed in your texts.”

“In my defense, you had just woken me up.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Andi bit her lip and rested her head better against the pillow. After a moment or two of hesitation, she decided to keep talking. Amber had been honest with her, after all. “When I got your text… I kind of thought you were pulling a prank on me for a moment. You know. Ferris-wheel style.”

Amber sighed, her gaze falling to the space between them, and didn’t answer. Andi waited, half-regretting speaking, and was about to apologise when Amber moved minutely closer to her.

“It’s not fun,” she finally said quietly. “Knowing you’re always expecting the worst from me.”

Andi looked at her, took in the vulnerability in her eyes, and suddenly had to look away.

“Is that not how you see me?”

Amber sighed again and moved to lay on her back. Andi ignored the pang in her chest and told herself to do the same, but she couldn’t. She stayed the way she was, watching as Amber brought up a hand to rub her face. She suddenly looked exhausted.

“How do we fix that?”

She had said it so quietly Andi probably would have missed it if she hadn’t been paying so close attention. Andi felt her heart squeeze again, but this time it didn’t hurt; it was something else, a sort of deep urge to find an answer to that question, to figure out how to fix this situation, to fix them. But she didn’t have it.

“I don’t know.”

Amber turned her head slightly to look at her, a wistful smile gracing her lips. “Good night, Andi.”

“Night, Amber.”

Andi didn’t think about the sudden emotions bubbling in the back of her throat, didn’t think about the disappointment she felt as she saw Amber close her eyes, and she definitely didn’t think about how the pang in her heart was back as she turned on her other side so that she wouldn’t be tempted to reach out to be closer to Amber.

She didn’t think about any of that, and instead closed her eyes and willed herself to go to sleep.

[illbeyourreasonwhy]

So much I think it must be...

In honor of Andi’s fifteenth birthday, I decided to post the first chapter of my Ambi Enemies to friends to lovers fic! I’ve got the story mapped out and it should be about fifteen chapters - hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1: We’re on the same team

“Why does she always have to be here?”

“Because she’s our friend?” Cyrus rolled his eyes at her. “Come on. She’s not that bad.”

“Whose side are you on, Cyrus?”

“Yours, Andi. Always yours. I just don’t get why we need to pick sides in the first place.”

Andi huffed and pushed the door to the laser tag open. Realistically, she knew that Cyrus (and everyone in their friend group, really) was right. Her feud with Amber had been going on for so long now that neither of them even remembered exactly how it had started. She was pretty sure it had been because of some messy drama involving both of them being into Jonah, but that was now clearly irrelevant seeing as in the past two years, Andi had dated then broken up with him, Amber had come out as a lesbian, and Jonah had recently started dating Libby, who Andi and Amber both loved. That hadn’t stopped their ongoing series of bickering, arguing and criticizing each other at each and every occasion. And with their friend groups somehow merging together over time despite the mutual loathing between the two girls, there had been a lot of occasions.

“Cyrus, hey!” Andi blinked. As if conjured by her thoughts, here Amber was, rushing over to hug Cyrus, who hugged her back immediately.

Traitor, Andi mouthed over her head.

You’re ridiculous, he mouthed back before pulling away from the hug with a smile.

To be fair, Andi knew she was, in fact, being ridiculous. Cyrus and Amber shared a bond she couldn’t really understand, forged in therapy sessions and dance lessons. He had been an immense source of support for her when she came out, and Andi was pretty sure the two of them had a group chat with TJ called ‘Gays United’.

She couldn’t expect Cyrus not to be friends with Amber on her account, just like Amber couldn’t expect Cyrus not to be friends with Andi on hers. The same went for all their friends. They both knew that, and they had both silently agreed that turning their friends against each other was off-limits (complaining, however, was not). That didn’t stop them from being petty towards each other, though.

Amber grinned at Cyrus before turning around and going back to join the others without so much as a glance towards Andi.

Really petty.

Andi raised an eyebrow at Cyrus as they followed Amber to meet the others inside the lobby. He rolled his eyes. “You’re both ridiculous,” he muttered.

“I don’t know,” Buffy commented, bumping shoulders with Andi as a hello, “at least we didn’t have to sit through an argument this time.”

Andi opened her mouth to answer, but Jonah cut her off.

“Guys, you’re late!”

“No, we’re not, you said to be here at 4:30 and it’s 4:28.”

“And we had to park Andi’s motorcycle.”

Jonah looked torn between berating them more and moving on to their actual reason to being there. He eventually decided on the latter, pulling them forward. “Come on, it’s going to start.”

“We booked the session, Jonah,” Buffy reminded him. “It’s not like the game can start if there aren’t any players.”

It had been Jonah’s idea for the whole gang to go play laser tag to celebrate the start of summer. According to him, since it was going to be close to impossible to get everyone together during the holidays, they had to make sure they at least had one big thing before everyone left.

“Okay, we’re ready!” he called to the counter.

A man in his early twenties sighed and moved over to them, holding a sheet of paper.

“Okay, so we have… Buffy’s Slayers vs Jonah’s Titans. Buffy, TJ, Cyrus and Marty in Slayer, red team,” he said in a tired voice, eyes never leaving the paper, “and Jonah, Libby, Iris, Andi and Amber in Titans, blue team. Any questions?”

Andi and Amber exchanged matching looks of alarm before Amber carefully schooled her features back into a mask of indifference, a slight smirk tugging at her lips.

Andi glanced over at the other team. TJ and Cyrus were sneaking quick looks at each other, trying (and failing) not to look too pleased about being on the same team, while Marty and Buffy were talking fast, exchanging strategies and game plans excitedly.

Oh, we’re screwed, Andi thought. Buffy and Marty put together were unstoppable. Add to that TJ’s competitive streak and Cyrus’ analytical skills (not to mention his more daring side that seemed to come out more often than not when TJ was around), and… yeah, Jonah’s team stood no chance. Especially with Andi and Amber’s inability to work together added to the mix.

“Okay, follow me,” the probably-underpaid-intern drawled, opening the door. “You have forty minutes. Remember to avoid shooting at close range, and avoid the eyes. Okay, have fun,” he concluded in the least fun voice Andi had ever heard.

Marty and Buffy had already stormed inside the arena, TJ and Jonah hot on their heels. Cyrus was still hanging back and, as the only one who had actually listened to the instructions, was finishing translating everything for Libby before Iris pushed him lightly forward, telling him to get back to his own team. Amber and Andi exchanged a long-suffering look before following them in.

“Don’t get in the way,” were the sweet first words Amber said to Andi that day.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

 The game was actually going pretty well. Andi had teamed up with Iris at one point when they figured out where TJ and Marty were hiding and had stormed the place, sending them running. Andi had lost track of her by now, but she had had her fair share of laser tag games over the years, and she liked to think she had gotten pretty good. At the very least, she knew what she was doing, she thought as she crouched behind a plank, eyeing Cyrus who was unknowingly edging closer to her. Just a few more steps and she would be able to…

Her sensor buzzed went out.

She whirled around and there Amber stood, laughing.

“Amber! I almost had him!”

“That’s a shame.”

“We’re on the same team!” Andi fumed.

Amber smirked. “Oops.”

Andi bit down a retort when she felt her sensor buzz back to life into her hands, deciding instead to point her laser to Amber’s and watch it be her turn to be down.

Amber yelped before narrowing her eyes. “Oh, you’re on.”

Andi smiled sweetly. “Not if you can’t catch me.”

And with that she slipped away, racing through the dark. She could hear Amber behind her and ducked in a corner, tagging her as soon as she came into her sight.

The rest of the game was a bit of a blur. Andi couldn’t really tell what was happening, aside from the fact that she and Amber were in an all-out war trying to out-tag each other. She was dimly aware of bumping into Jonah at one point and him desperately reminding them that they were on the same team, but it was useless. By the time the game ended, Andi was fairly certain that their team had been crushed.

“Well, this is a disaster,” Jonah confirmed, glancing up at the scoreboard.

“To be fair, we never stood a chance with the three most competitive people on the other team.”

“Libby got the highest score,” Jonah deadpanned. “And we had an extra player. We would have been fine if you two hadn’t decided halfway through the game that fighting each other was way more interesting than fighting the other team.”

“She started it,” Andi mumbled, crossing her arms.

“I don’t care who did,” Buffy grinned, throwing an arm around Andi’s shoulders. “I’m buying both of you a drink to thank you for our crushing victory.”

“As long as it’s not at the Spoon,” Amber said. “I spend enough time working there already.”

“Where else do you expect us to go, Amber?” Andi asked irritably.

“Easy, you two,” Cyrus stepped in. “That was enough for one day. How about we all go to my place, now?”

And so they all made their way out of the laser tag place, Andi trying to push down the annoyance as she followed.

[illbeyourreasonwhy]

I will read that ambi fic no joke like I love tyrus they cuties and they soulmates and ahh but ambi like that my baby’s like OTP underrated characters being together like that’s and underrated relationship too like ahh like I know it’s name is andi Mack but andi and amber still need more love like they all need more love just andi is literally baby like no one can hurt her she’s baby

Aaaaah this put such a huge smile on my face you have no idea. For real though, these girls deserve so much more love!

Thanks for this, you gave me such a boost for this story you have no idea

[illbeyourreasonwhy]

So Much I Think It Must Be...

Chapter 9: The feud is still alive and well

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting?”

Andi’s head shot up. Amber was standing in front of their table, ready to take their order, arms crossed and looking furious.

“Amber!” Andi forced a smile, glancing between Amber and Walker and feeling somehow guilty although for the life of her not understanding why.

*

Chapter 9 of my Ambi Enemies to Friends to Lovers fic! You can read it on ao3 here, and find the first chapter here. Hope you like it!

*

Andi sighed, staring up at her ceiling, before sitting up. TJ and Cyrus had left with Cyrus’ family for three weeks, meaning that until Jonah came back two days from now, the only two people from their friend group left in Shadyside were, ironically, Andi and Amber.

And Andi was bored. So bored, in fact, that she had almost considered texting Amber and asking her if she wanted to meet up – she had shot the idea down almost as soon as she thought of it, though. Even if they weren’t at each other’s throats anymore, they still weren’t on good enough terms that the two of them hanging out would be anything other than weird.

Instead she ended up going to an exhibition thrown by Art-By-Me, an association dedicated to promoting art in Shadyside. They were actually very well-known and influential beyond Shadyside, and often organised art shows and found new places for artists to express their creativity – the mural she had painted with Walker, he had told her, had been provided by Art-By-Me.

Speaking of Walker, she was pretty sure he had a painting here. She was in the middle of thinking that she would have to ask him how to get a slot in the next exhibition when someone tapped her shoulder and she turned around.

“Walker,” she grinned. “I was looking for your painting.”

“It’s right here,” he smiled, pointing it out to her. Before she could say anything, he beamed. “I was actually going to call you. You know that big project I told you about?”

She nodded, suddenly feeling excited. “Are you finally going to tell me what it is?”

He grinned. “You remember that mural we did two weeks ago? By the park?” When she nodded, he continued. “And you know how Art-By-Me throw art contests every now and then? Like Youth Inspi?” She stared, not daring to hope. Youth Inspi was the stuff of legends to aspiring artists; the winner got 600$ of prize money and lessons from a world-wide artist. “Well, they liked what we did with our mural so much they’re taking it an audition piece for this year’s issue.” Walker nudged her excitedly. “And we got it! They want us to work on a piece together!”

Andi’s mouth dropped open. “You’re kidding.” He shook his head, still grinning from ear to ear, and she felt excitement bubbling in her chest. “I’ve always wanted to enter an Art-By-Me contest, but I never thought I’d be good enough. And now they’re asking us to enter?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

Andi clapped her hands together, giddiness taking over. “Walker, this is amazing! Thank you so much!”

She threw her arms around him. He laughed and hugged her back.

“Okay, break it up, this is a public space.”

Andi pulled away, turning towards the familiar voice.

“Hi, Natalie.”

“Hey, Andi. Good to see you again.” Natalie was smiling lazily, and, to Andi’s surprise, she was accompanied by Amber. “Hi, I’m Natalie,” she added, turning to Walker.

“Walker,” he smiled. “Nice to meet you.”

“So you’re the artist, huh?”

Walker smiled modestly while Andi looked curiously between Amber and Natalie.

“I didn’t know you two knew each other.”

“Yeah, we met through the ‘Lesbians Who Dated Jonah Beck’ club,” Natalie said.

“Oh,” Andi answered, suddenly thrown back to the turmoil she had felt the night of the party.

Natalie burst out laughing at her expression. “I’m kidding. I’m dating her best friend, so of course we’ve met.”

“Right. Makes sense.”

Walker glanced between them, clearly feeling like he was missing something, before straightening up and saying, “Anyways, I was just telling Andi about our new art project.”

At once all the excitement came back to Andi and she beamed, unable to keep herself from gushing even if it was to Amber and Natalie. “We’re entering a contest organised by one of the biggest art associations there is! First place gets 600$ and lessons by a famous artist!”

“Really? That’s huge!”

“And it’s all thanks to a mural Walker asked me to do with him, so I owe it all to him, basically.”

Natalie raised an eyebrow, impressed. “Hey, if you ever want to hit me up to paint frisbees or something, I’m in,” she joked.

Amber didn’t laugh, looking between Andi and Walker with a slight frown, before settling on Andi.

“The mural? The one I saw the other day?”

“Yeah.”

Amber smiled. “Congrats. See, I told you it wasn’t that bad.”

Andi smiled back. “Yeah, thanks.” It came out fonder than she had intended, which was not fond at all, but she didn’t mind. That first mural was always going to be associated with Amber standing up for her in her mind, and she was grateful for that. Even if she still didn’t know why she had done it.

“Well,” Natalie said after a moment, making Andi realise she and Amber might have been staring at each other for a bit longer than necessary, “we should get going, we haven’t even seen half of the art here. Andi, do you want to come with us?”

“No, I’m going to stay with Walker for a bit,” Andi declined, surprised but touched by the offer.

Amber’s mouth twitched. Before Andi could read too much into it, Natalie smiled and said it was nice to see her, and then they were both gone.

 *

“So I sketched out a few ideas – get over here, we’ll work better if we can both see what we’re talking about – but feel free to add your own, we’re still in the brainstorming process and we should do something that speaks to the both of us.”

Andi switched booths so that she was sitting next to Walker, their arms brushing as they pored over the sketches he had brought.

“We can enter anything, a painting, a sculpture…”

“A mural?”

“They’ll provide the surface, so we’ll have to let them know in advance if we want to, but yeah.”

Andi pulled paper and a pencil closer, tapping the pencil thoughtfully. “Should we stick to a mural, then? Or do something completely different?”

“I don’t know. Stepping out of our comfort zone might be fun. Oh, and you’ll never guess who the artist giving lessons this year is.”

“Who?”

“Mitchella Omar.”

“No. Way.”

Andi felt a thrill of excitement run through her. Mitchella Omar was an up-and-coming environmentalist artist who was from Shadyside, but she hadn’t been in town in years, instead touring the world to showcase her art and give lectures on how to create beautiful things while still preserving the environment. Andi kind of adored her.

“This is so great,” Andi grinned.

They had started drawing various designs on sheets of paper when Walker said, “You know, I knew you would be excited, but I never thought you would be so into this.”

“Walker, this is the biggest project I’ve ever gotten to work on,” Andi told him. “Even if we don’t win, what we do is going to be seen by some of the greatest artists ever, including Mitchella Omar. It’s amazing. I still can’t believe I actually get to do this.”

“Well, in that case, I’m glad I asked you to do the mural when we ran into each other again.”

Andi smiled softly. “I’m glad you did too.”

They stayed that way for a few seconds, smiling at each other, and then –

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting?”

Andi’s head shot up. Amber was standing in front of their table, ready to take their order, arms crossed and looking furious.

“Amber!” Andi forced a smile, glancing between Amber and Walker and feeling somehow guilty although for the life of her not understanding why.

“Can I take your order?” she asked, eyes fixed on the table.

Walker removed his hand from where it was brushing Andi’s arm and said, “Actually, we haven’t decided yet.”

Amber put her notebook down, looking exasperated. “You do know you’re supposed to order something when you sit down in a booth, right?”

“Amber, relax,” Andi said, “we just got here. We’ll get something in a few minutes.”

“Would that be before or after you’re done wasting my time while I’m supposed to be working?”

“Amber –” Andi said, feeling out of depth.

“Two milkshakes,” Walker said hastily. “Uh, strawberry for me.”

“We’re out of strawberry,” Amber said without looking at him.

“There’s someone with a strawberry milkshake over there,” Andi pointed, not understanding what was happening.

“It’s okay, I’ll take vanilla,” Walker said before Amber could answer.

“Me too,” Andi added, trying to catch Amber’s eye, but her gaze was fixed on her notebook as she wrote their order, turned and left without another word.

Andi watched her leave, at a loss for what had just happened.

Eventually Walker perfectly summed it up:

“I see the feud is still alive and well, then.”

Andi felt a pang in her heart. “Yeah, I guess it is…”

 *

 Me: something weird happened

 Cyrus: define weird

 Me: amber was mean to me today

 Cyrus: how is that weird

 Cyrus: that happens every day

 Me: no, we were somewhat okay for a few days

 Me: this came out of nowhere

Andi bit her lip, waiting for Cyrus to answer. She couldn’t explain it even to herself, but Amber’s behavior at the Spoon wasn’t sitting well with her. Beyond the general confusion about what had brought this on, she was also inexplicably hurt because she had thought they were past this.

 Cyrus: set the scene for us

 Me: us?

 Cyrus: tj is here

Andi shook her head to herself, smiling slightly. All the better if TJ was there. Both he and Cyrus were the best people to help her work this out.

 Me: i was at the spoon with walker and she blew up on us when we said we weren’t ready to order

 Cyrus: walker was with you?

 Me: yeah why?

Andi drummed her fingers against the counter, waiting for them to answer. She got a notification for one of her games and ignored it. Still no text back.

 Me: guys?

Just as she was about to call Cyrus to see what was taking so long, a text came in.

 Cyrus: we’ll talk to amber

 Cyrus: don’t worry about it

 Me: no don’t

 Me: that will just make her more mad

 Cyrus: we’re not going to yell at her or anything

 Cyrus: we’re just going to try and understand what happened

Andi bit her lip.

 Me: ok

 Me: keep me updated

She set the phone down, more affected by this than she wished.

*

 Marty: ANDI

 Marty: ANDI

 Marty: ANDI

 Marty: I’m going to keep doing this until you agree

Andi huffed.

 Me: no

 Marty: Come on

 Marty: It’ll be fun

 Me: no

 Marty: ANDI

 Marty: ANDI

 Marty: ANDI

 Marty: ANDI

Andi turned her phone off and went back to playing cards with Bex.

“What was that about?” her mom asked her.

“Marty keeps pestering me about going to his movie night.”

“I thought Marty was on holiday?”

“He was,” Andi muttered. As glad as she was for him to be back, at this precise moment she kind of wished he had stayed away. “He came back yesterday.”

Bex put her cards down. Andi glanced over, trying to make out what she had.

“Why don’t you want to go?” Andi didn’t answer. “I thought you liked Marty.”

“I do,” Andi mumbled. “It’s just that Buffy, Cyrus, Jonah and TJ are still on holiday. Which means that it’s just going to be him, Iris and Amber at his place.”

Bex frowned. “But they’re your friends. Well, minus Amber.”

“Yes, of course, but they’re more Amber’s friends than mine,” Andi admitted. “Just like Buffy and Jonah are more mine. TJ and Cyrus are kind of middle ground. Which means it is going to be awkward if I go.”

“That’s never stopped you before.”

“Rude.” Bex laughed; Andi almost smiled, but her next words went back to souring her mood. “And honestly, I don’t want to see Amber right now.”

“Okay, what happened?” Bex asked. “Last week she was sleeping over, now you’re avoiding her like the plague. What’s up?”

“I told you, she just needed a place to stay. That’s all it was.”

“My point still stands.”

Andi didn’t answer, and Bex, taking the hint, took her cards again and went back to playing. It was quiet for a few minutes.

“I thought things were better between us,” Andi finally said. “But she still hates me, and I don’t feel like getting in a fight with her, especially with our friends there. So I don’t want to go.”

She didn’t know why she was so upset. Amber and she had been arguing non-stop for the past two years. Just because Andi had thought things were different didn’t mean that Amber did, which had been painfully obvious the previous day at the Spoon. Which was fine. Or, well, should have been fine. Andi was fine with it. She was.

“Alright, then,” Bex said. “I won’t make you.”

And yet hearing her say that only made disappointment bubble more prominently in Andi’s chest.

The rest of the evening was quiet. That is, until someone started knocking on the door so frantically Andi rushed over to see what the emergency was. Her face fell when she saw who it was.

“You turned your phone off,” Marty said, looking distressed.

“And you don’t know how to take a hint.”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry. That’s why I’m here, that’s all I want to say. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Andi blinked, surprised, before smiling. “I’m not mad, don’t worry. I just don’t feel like going.”

Marty looked relieved. “Is this because of Amber?”

“What do you think?” Andi deadpanned.

“I think you’re being an idiot,” he said, which wasn’t the answer she had been expecting. “I haven’t seen you in almost three weeks, and I’ve missed you. So I’m going to ask you, one last time, please come to movie night.”

Andi hesitated. “I just don’t want to ruin everyone’s evening if Amber and I get in a fight.”

“You know, this will probably shock you, but Amber doesn’t particularly enjoy getting into fights with you in front of everyone either.” Andi doubted that. “So if the two of you make an effort, it will probably be fine.”

“That is awfully optimistic of you.”

But she was starting to consider it, and he could obviously tell, because he pouted. “Pleaaaase?”

She laughed despite herself and shook her head. “Fine. I’m coming. You’re lucky I missed you too.”

He cheered and the next thing she knew, she was in Marty and Iris’ kitchen pouring popcorn into five bowls and throwing some at Marty when he was being annoying (which was every thirty seconds or so). Natalie was there as well, grabbing a drink and offering Andi a smile before joining Amber and Iris in the living room.

Everything was going well, meaning that she and Amber had not spoken a word since she had walked in; that is, until Iris connected her computer to the TV and announced that the show was starting, and Amber moved to squeeze herself between Andi and Marty on the couch.

“I know they’re just going to make out the whole time,” she whispered in answer to Andi’s quizzical look, pointing over to Iris and Natalie laughing quietly in a loveseat. “Sue me for not wanting to be a third wheel.”

Andi nodded and turned back to the screen, a small smile on her lips.

 From what Andi gathered, they were watching a show Iris and Natalie had discovered and wanted to share with the others, but Andi had no idea what it was about. For one thing, it was in Spanish, and the subtitles were too small for Andi to read correctly. Moreover, it appeared the girls had decided the best place to start would be in the middle of the second season, with only a brief description of what had happened prior for the others to follow along. Andi had forgotten all the characters before Iris even pressed play. She was pretty sure the main character was the blonde girl who laughed a lot and blushed easily, but other than that she was lost.

At that precise moment Blondie seemed to be upset with another girl, one with purple hair, and then – then they were kissing, and Andi knew she had missed something.

She turned towards Iris to ask her to explain what was happening, and stilled. Natalie and Iris were squeezed together in a love seat, looking so in their own world Andi’s words died in her throat. Natalie had an arm wrapped around Iris, her free hand bopping her nose while Iris playfully tried to push her away. They looked more than happy – content, and at bliss, and it tugged at something in Andi’s chest.

Instead she turned to the person next to her, expecting it to be Marty, and was met with Amber expectantly raising an eyebrow. Right, she had sat between them. Right.

“What is it?” she whispered.

Andi waved a hand at the show. “I thought they were arguing.”

“They were. They made up.”

“Yeah, obviously. I’m not sure I’m really following.”

Amber laughed, then quickly recapped the show in a hushed voice, shoving Marty when he complained that she was being too loud. Andi whispered thanks and tried to focus back on the TV.

It wasn’t easy.

She was suddenly hyper-aware of Amber being right next to her, which shouldn’t have affected her, but did, somehow. Then there was the fact that the two girls were now constantly making out on screen, and Andi was torn between staring and looking away; when she did look away, it was to see Iris and Natalie making out as well. Marty threw a pillow at them, and Iris yelped and threw it back at him; Amber stepped in before it could devolve into a pillow fight. She seemed to really like this show, Andi had noticed, and was following along just fine.

Andi turned to look over at Iris and Natalie again. Natalie was whispering something in Iris’ ear, and Andi felt the tug at heart again, except this time she understood it for what it was – yearning. She wanted what they had, she wanted –

The two girls on screen were lying in bed together, and Andi’s heart dropped.

She wanted that.

Andi felt something cave in her chest. This was it. After months of fighting it, of trying to deny it, the realisation was hitting her full force. She liked girls, really liked girls, and had no idea what to do with this information.

She took in a shallow breath, and suddenly Amber’s hand was on her arm.

“Are you okay?” she asked, concern written all over her face.

“I –”

Andi’s words died in her throat. She stood up, ignoring the worried looks the others were giving her, and grabbed her coat.

“I have to go. Enjoy the rest of the movie. I mean the show. I. Yeah. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

And with that she rushed out of the house, too fast to even know if anyone had said anything back.

***

Hope you liked it! More coming soon!