#ameridan:about / headcanon

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I’ve always thought that Ameridan would be firmly against Solas after Trespasser,  but now I’ve started thinking that he might support it,  if only in a very disheartened way.   It might depend on what the Inquisitor is like mostly and the world he encounters.   If the Inquisitor is a good person who tries to make the world better for elves,  mages and people in general then he might feel more optimistic about it in its current state.   If they’re not,  if they don’t care to bring any positive change about  (  or if they try but fail  ),  then he might feel like there’s not so much worth protecting.  

He’s still never going to be happy about Solas’ plans.   He’s never going to look forward to seeing them fulfilled.   If he decides to support them it’s honestly because he’s so tired of the uphill battle he’s been fighting to bring all these differing peoples and ambitions together,  he just wants to wipe it all clean and start over.   Because he left a troubled world and came back to find it had gotten worse,  and maybe that shows it’s rotten to the core.

I don’t think he could bring himself to actually kill anyone for this cause,  but neither will he fight or kill Solas or any of his agents,  regardless of who the Inquisitor is.

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if you howl at ameridan and he’s distracted he howls back

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anyway ameridan and solas are nap buddies both figuratively in the sense that they’re old elves who slept/”slept” over very long periods of time

and literally in the sense that they just fall asleep in places together bc they’re tired

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ameridan refers to the orlesian noble houses as tribes and they cannot stop him

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SIDE QUEST:  FRAGMENTS OF POETRY

when speaking to professor kenric after defeating Hakkon Wintersbreath,  he will mention that though the Inquisitor has now read Haron’s diary,  heard Telana’s voice speaking through a spirit and met Ameridan himself,  they’ve yet to hear Orinna’s voice.  It,  too,  can still be heard through the centuries in the form of poems,  or fragments of them  ---  the Inquisitor will simply have to search elsewhere than the Frostback Basin for them.

FRAGMENT I. (  found on a warden’s body in Valeska’s watch ).

   ...did I behold    the horde; such dark despair unleash’d upon    ...    ...stood trembling    ...turn’d [my] eyes away,  from...

FRAGMENT II. (  found in a book on a nightstand in a fereldan farmer’s house ).

Gently does your tender tongue reveal The lay’rs of my love-starved soul As if you,  dream-kiss’d maid,  is the sun And I,  stone-woman,   the bud In spring,  which blooms at your touch

FRAGMENT III. (  found on a shelf in Valammar  ).

Strike my name,  Shaper,  from the memories! But I shall not forget the halls I walk’d What right have you to say I am unworthy? I stood outside your iron gates, afeared But ne’er did I back down,  nay;  you,  Shaper I protected with my life,  my limb;  so Your memories were safe behind my shield Yes,  strike my name,  shaper,  strike them all out! Though forgott’n I shall not forget the halls I walk’d

FRAGMENT IV, V,  & VII. (  in a collection of dwarven poetry in the Undercroft after recruiting Dagna  ).

...sky-witness,  hold the blue in hands ...and heart

---

[lover?], [tell me] do you ever dream of me? Do I ever walk ... you in your sleep? ...... tell me,  so that... ...beside you.

---

Duster,  lift up your head,  turn your gaze towards the sky Your feet are planted firmly on the ground You need not fear to fall;  though you may one day wish That you could fly

FRAGMENT IX.

(  acquired by speaking to ameridan at skyhold ).

Did you notice,  love,   how my steps falter’d? And was that why you turn’d your head to me? You said some words I no longer remember; And smiled;  and at that smile I regain’d strength Your flame-red hair,  silver-streak’d,  a beacon Your bravery gave bravery to me And with your hand in mine I then walk’d on Into darkness and the end of life For you,  my friend,  are dearer than the light

FRAGMENT X. (  found on a skeleton in Legion of the Dead armour in the Deep Roads  ).

...oh ...to hold.... ...again.

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@lichteeth asked:  ♆ for gatt , ♡ for shianni , ☾ for ameridan ?

♆ : Are they prone to violent outbursts or thoughts?

Less so now than when he first joined the Qun.   Gatt used to struggle with his self-control and things would get ugly when he lost his temper;  he’d take it out physically on objects and sometimes on people if they were standing in his way,  though most of the time people would mostly get verbal abuse.   Violents thoughts were present too,  directed both at himself and others.   He had thoughts about harming those who’d hurt him,  but also about the hurt he’d endured.

Both of these tendencies are much weaker now.   Not surprisingly the more stress and anxiety in his life situation the more they tend to come back  ---  so as Inquisitor,  and after the Iron Bull leaves the Qun  ---  they’re very strong,  but in general they’re calmer and he knows how to deal with them when they appear.   He very rarely gets physical with people in anger,  although he might want to in the moment.

♡  : Is there a certain scent that brings about nostalgia? If so, describe a memory this scent brings back.

The scent of hay or fresh-cut grass will always remind her of the farm where she was born,  although her memories are very vague.   They’re not so much memories of moments as of feelings and fleeting impressions,  the feeling of being small and the world being large.   Her mother is the focal point of those memories  ---  in Shianni’s mind she only has a few brushstrokes of a face,  but is a pair of hands,  freckles in the sun,  a soothing voice and a cool breath of air on a scraped knee.

☾ : On a sleepless night, what would they be found doing?

Reading.   Going outside to catch some fresh air.   Working on a spell or refining some sketch from earlier in his journal.   Staring at the ceiling and thinking about ‘ what ifs ‘.   He used to spend those nights mulling over battle maps,  as though if he just shifted the pieces the right way Thedas would be saved from the Blight.   But he doesn’t have the same deep insight into current Thedas’ armies and lands to do much of that,  so mostly he has to settle for reimagining the past.

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AMERIDAN:  What is right and what is wrong truly does not always have a single answer. Sometimes,  it depends on your perspective;  sometimes, a question has more than one true answer,  even conflicting answers.   To limit yourself to one truth only is to narrow your worldview considerably.

VARRIC:  Did Josephine correct you on your spelling again?

AMERIDAN: ...yes.

____

AMERIDAN: A-M-E-R-H-Y-D-A-N.

VARRIC:  No.

AMERIDAN:  A-M-A-Y-R-I-D-A-N

VARRIC:  Absolutely not!

AMERIDAN:  A-M-A-R-E-E-T-H-A-N-E

VARRIC:  You’re messing with me,  right?

AMERIDAN:  Nope.   Those are all ways I’ve seen my name written.

VARRIC:  Are you sure it was your name?

____

AMERIDAN:  I-N-K-V-I-S-I-T-I-ON?

VARRIC:  Shut up.

[skyheld]

it probably comes as a surprise because generally ameridan comes across as both very gentle and sophisticated

and he is

but he has a... very different way of reasoning on some things than most modern peoples of thedas.   a very divine age way of reasoning.

to him,  smearing goat’s blood on someone’s holding as a way to say “ you killed a child of mine and i know this,  and i hold you accountable,  but i will not retribute,  so now you know i’m aware of what you’ve done but that there will be no continuation of this feud from my side “ is perfectly reasonable,  even though it’s not something the dalish or ciriane did.   it’s a custom,  it involves blood because blood is powerful,  it involves your hall or home or hold because those are sacred places,  and those things make it more powerful and reliable than any spoken word.  could the thane have just said  “ hey killing my son wasn’t what i hoped for but i get it,  don’t worry,  i don’t want vengeance ” ?   yes,  but it wouldn’t have held the same weight at all.

there’s a codex entry in the emerald graves:

The Twisted Tree

The tree on the hill made me deeply uneasy. I chose not to camp there, even though the view was something to behold. Later on, at a tavern in Ville Montevelan, I heard the tale. Before the Dales were conquered, elves would capture humans who trespassed, and string their heads from the branches of that twisted tree. -From A Journey through the Dales by Lord Horace Medford, "Adventurer"

it could be read as something said by humans to make the dalish seem uncivilized and dangerous,  which is how it seems to humans  ( and elves )  now,  but my headcanon is that this happened,  and it was simply a part of the war with orlais.   using scare tactics is nothing unusual  ---  the modern Inquisition does it a lot in various war table missions  ---  and this was just that:  showing the enemy the corpses of their former comrades to tell them 1) we’re serious about protecting this border 2) we’re good at protecting this border 3) it would be better for you to desert the army and go home to your farm than keep fighting here.   again,  in a manner that is much more effective than by saying those same things,  even if in the dragon age most people find it barbaric.

all that’s to say,  the inquisitor will walk past a bandit camp and ameridan will be like,  look,  we get attacked all the time,  or enemies don’t really fear us,  have you considered doing what these people do and put some heads on spikes around it?  

just, y’know,  as a general warning

i think it would really help your image

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it’s interesting to note that ameridan,  who has been a leader for the majority of his life by now,  mainly blames thom rainier for the murders his soldiers committed on his order.   yes,  they did a horrible thing.   but they trusted him;  they likely thought there was an explanation,  or that they would be punished if they refused.   a commander is never better than the orders they give,  and their orders never better than their consequences.

whereas wren,  who has been a low-ranked follower for most of her life,  thinks the other men equally as responsible as thom.   they could and should have questioned his orders when it turned out there were children in the carriage.   if he insisted,  they should have turned on him.   she understands perfectly well the kind of fear and conditioning that makes one follow orders blindly,  and yet there are some lines you do not cross.

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ameridan heard cassandra’s  “ is there no room in your pantheon for one more god ”  through space and time and said sure he seems decent, i can squeeze him in!   of course, i won’t consider him more important or godly than any of my other gods,  he’ll recieve the same amount of reverence, prayer time and occasional criticism, and my main god of choice if of course dirthamen, so he’ll be slightly below that.

in fact, i’ll probably consider him of much less importance when i’m physically in the dales,  because he’s less powerful there;  just like when i’m among the avvar i will consider the presence of the avvar gods,  because that’s the part of the world they influence.

what do you mean that isn’t what you wanted?

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that avvar dude: you killed my son so i painted your hall with goat’s blood

ameridan: short. to the point. no need to respond.  i approve of your style of messaging

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the inquisitor:  i hate doing paperwork!

ameridan:  i understand.   when i held your position i used to have to do it once every two weeks or i would be completely overwhelmed.

the inquisitor:  once

the inquisitor:  once every two weeks

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have i...  have i ever mentioned that one time ameridan actually got ‘ caught ‘ sneaking away from drakon’s chambers in the morning

and it was obviously the talk of orlais for a couple months,  but in actual fact,  they’d only been discussing plans for defeating the blight and in a quiet moment,  ameridan fell asleep on the couch.  drakon didn’t want to wake him up,  so he put a blanket over him and went to bed.   nothing scandalous happened.

that time.

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NIGHTMARE:  You will die as you have lived,  Adaia:  far from your family when they need you the most.   Do you think they will look for you when my army overruns Denerim?   Or do they know by now you won’t be there to protect them?

ADAIA:  You army won’t come near them,  demon.   I’m protecting my family by being here.

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NIGHTMARE:  Did you think you could ever be free from your past,  Gatt?  Oh,  no.   You were born on your knees and you will die on your knees.   When my underlings are done with you,  you will crawl to me,  begging for death.   And I will give it to you,  once you have served me to satisfaction.

GATT:   Shut up,  shut up,  shut up!

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MILVA:  O M-Maker,  h-hear me cry,  guide me through the b-blackest night...

NIGHTMARE:  Ah,  I see I best be quiet,  so you can hear when the Maker answers your prayer.   He must be eager to help his Herald,  mustn’t he?

MILVA:  S-steel my heart against the temptations of the wicked...

NIGHTMARE:  But how strange  ---  there seems to be no answer.   Perhaps the Maker cannot hear you here,  little Milva?   Or perhaps he never has?   How would you know?

MILVA:  Make me to rest in the warmest places!   For You are the fire at the heart of the world, and comfort is only Yours to give!

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(  before in his image is completed  ) NIGHTMARE:   Do you truly think your silly little bells are any use here,  Sabriel?   In my realm?   Perhaps in the hands of a real Abhorsen...  but you are not a real Abhorsen.   You are only a little girl playing with toys you do not understand.

SABRIEL:  If you think my bells are useless,  let’s see what you think of my sword.

(  after in his image is completed  ) NIGHTMARE:  Go on,  Sabriel.   You know what to do.   You can banish all these enemies,  perhaps even harm me...  at the cost of your own life,  of course.   It is what your father did.   It is what a real Abhorsen would do.   Why do you hesitate?

SABRIEL:  A ‘real’ Abhorsen would not take advise on demon-slaying from a demon.

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NIGHTMARE:  And so the Wardens prove once and for all that mages cannot be trusted with their power.   This is what freeing them brings:  death and destruction.   Rhys saw it before you did,  Adrian.   He saw what you refused to believe,  and he will pay for your mistakes.

ADRIAN:  A Loyalist demon?   That’s a new one.

______________________

NIGHTMARE:  Merrill---

MERRILL:  You don’t have to speak,  actually.   I know what I’m afraid of,  and it’s not you.  

NIGHTMARE:  *angry growl*

MERRILL:  Don’t be sad.   It’s not your fault.

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NIGHTMARE:  Inquisitor Ameridan,  I am humbled by your presence.   Do you know how much fear your Circles have created for me to grow fat upon?   How many centuries,  how many generations of mages have lived in terror,  died in terror,  feared and been feared  ---  because of the Accord you so willingly signed?   Fear is your legacy,  and I have feasted upon it.

AMERIDAN:  If fear is my legacy,  then you will be its last victim.

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my one (1) headcanon for modern verse ameridan used to be that he’s into horror video games but now i know:

his favourite video game is the untitled goose game

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milva & ameridan are my tallest muses at a whopping 176 cm / 5′9 each