#analysis.txt

[thekidsarentalright]

u ever think about how the kids aren’t alright is a love song to friendship and pete said favorite record is a love song to the fans, when talking about it he said ‘my favorites always feel a bit off and out of place- maybe that’s why i love you so’ and twin skeletons is a love song to him too, where he said ‘the world doesn’t make sense to me but i’d rather it not make sense when i am lying next to you’, and maybe abap is an album that sings of all the devastation of love but is also bursting at the seams with the potential of love and love that comes to us in unorthodox ways, with all of its possible imperfections and deep devotions. maybe it is our time now if you want it to be, maybe i’m yours when it rains it pours, i spin for you, we could be immortals, if you just hold on. like maybe abap is one of the best most important albums ever do u ever think about it??

[andoutofharm]

so much (for) stardust + being unknown

[thekintsugikids]

i noticed the similarities between fnowae and pavlove about a year and a half ago?? something like that. and quite frankly, while i could panegyrize fob’s entire discography till the end of time, specifically hearing those songs back to back, hearing, “i’m the invisible man who can’t stop staring at the mirror,” followed by, “i’m just the man on the balcony, singing ‘nobody will ever remember me’” made me absolutely spiral. like…both songs feel like they’re about this heart wrenching, soul crushing loneliness and just wanting someone to understand, to feel the way you do, to just fucking get it already, but the difference is in the way they see that. the different perspectives.

to fully explain this i think it’s important to fully understand the amadeus of it all for which i cannot recommend enough zero’s post about fnowae.

to use some of their words/phrasing, the quote itself as the title…fascinates me. it is salieri (in this instance, pete) repudiating god, declaring him to be his mortal enemy from here on for having the nerve to bestow upon amadeus (patrick) such brilliance (and i will be referring to him as amadeus because that feels like it might be a little cleaner than calling him mozart throughout this whole Thing etc etc etc). to mock salieri’s mediocrity. he is so envious of amadeus that he feels amadeus’s gifts are a divine punishment from god himself. “from now on we are enemies, you and i.”

what does all of that have to do with pavlove, though? amadeus is the gifted one, whom salieri finds to be insufferably annoying, but staggeringly brilliant. indescribably so (the fact that they do eventually befriend one another, and when amadeus dies, it essentially drives salieri insane and many years later he even claims he murdered amadeus, despite the fact that amadeus was sick, having worked himself to exhaustion and death……all of that is another can of worms i don’t…i don’t have it in me to crack open right now). “nobody will ever remember me, rejoice and fall to your knees.” “i want to make you as lonely as me, so you can get addicted to this.” bone crushing loneliness clawing at the door like a dog just begging for companionship. i need someone, please be that someone. i don’t know what to do if i don’t have someone. but maybe it’s for the best. but i can’t leave well enough alone (historically, “i don’t do too well on my own”) so i need you to feel what i feel. empty. isolated. lonely. then maybe you’ll need me the same way i need you.

“their faces are dancing till they can’t stand it.” being the outsider, the wallflower, the lone observer, because what else can you do? what else is there to do? it’s three drinks too late to talk to anyone but myself. who even wants to be there with the lunatic on a downward spiral entirely of his own design, who has faded so seamlessly into the background that he doesn’t even know who he is or if he even exists anymore. getting worse till there’s nothing left.

from now on we are enemies is pete vs patrick. two brilliant artists duking it out because one is so enamored with, but absolutely cannot stand, the brilliance of the other. pavlove is…different. more distanced. it’s the realization. and if pavlove is the realization, from now on we are enemies is the final showdown.

pavlove is misery with the life he’s cultivated, with the parties and the tabloids running rampant in the 2000s. the drugs he’d been doing that his best friend didn’t even fully realize the severity of because, in his mind, drug abuse was this abstract thing that he couldn’t quite comprehend. fnowae is the culmination of isolating oneself from those which he loves and cares about, because he’s so lost in his misery.

“what good comes of something when i’m just the ghost of nothing?” because progression in any capacity is a threat to your self preservation. creative integrity, personal growth, whatever it is, it has begun to feel like it’s unattainable because the risk is too high. so what’s the point? it’s a three-and-two pitch to walk to anywhere else. so stay where you are. don’t bother. patrick is brilliant, patrick is gifted and he doesn’t even know it and i’m just a painter looking at the walls trying to finger paint and he’s the only one who has been able to finish these half-baked paintings i throw at him. if this thing is breaking down, what am i good for?

trick question. stalemate. stay right here. if anything, move back.

but there’s a wife to try to make a life with and a child on the way and if i do move forward, who’s to say i don’t just find new ways to make it all worse? my anchor has started to completely detach—get engaged, make a solo record, make himself a life, eventually…soon, even—and i’m let out to sea all on my own and i don’t want to be here, i wanted to go back to land. i wasn’t prepared to still be here. but somehow, i am, and i don’t know what to do. i’m the just the man on the balcony, singing, “nobody will ever remember me,” because amadeus over here is doing the things that are worthwhile. he’s the one people will revere, and i will fade in the distance as the blurry shadow whose features have smudged and disappeared with time, because my contributions pale in comparison to his genius, because i wasn’t blessed with the ability to sing or write music or do so many of the ten billion things he is capable of. because who knows how i’ll be remembered now that the ship i’ve spent the last 8 years manning is possibly about to sink and maybe that means that will be my legacy, if i even have a legacy. if anyone remembers that i was ever here. but that doesn’t mean i don’t want to be remembered. that doesn’t mean i like what i’ve become, how my meaning has become dependent on the twin skeleton beside me. i’m the invisible man who can’t stop staring at the mirror. begging to be remembered…because that’s the point of it all, right?

i said it at the beginning, fall out boy had to be fall out boy and leave the world on a cliffhanger for three years. but it’s been 14 years since believers never die vol 1. we know what happens next. we’ve read the next chapter, watched the sequel, seen how it all pans out. they get to be happy middle aged men playing these songs, reclaiming the trauma and horrors and pain within them, making them into newer, happier memories, because they’re not about that pain anymore. and they haven’t been for a long time. they haven’t been theirs in ages. and so they can finally let it go, with their spouses and kids in the audience cheering them on (well, maybe not the kids. they’re dads, after all, they can’t think they’re cool). with stronger bonds between them and a stronger sense of self in each of them. because they’re not defined by each other anymore, no, this is their fun little art project. patrick composes for a living now (a composer but never composed, who always saw himself as a composer first, now literally a composer by trade), joe and pete each have multiple different ventures they explore in their free time (the symphonies of the overdosed, now being sung by yourself because you don’t need someone else to do it for you anymore), andy is in a million different bands at any given time. they don’t need each other—they don’t need to be defined by each other—they want to be with each other now.

no amadeus, no salieri, no jealousy, no enemies in sight, just four dudes who love making music together. who can make music on their own, who do make music on their own and/or separate from fall out boy, but can’t make their music without all of them together. at the end of the day, “no matter how obsessed you’ve been with your own vanishing, there will always be someone who still wants you whole.”

[shiraishi--kanade]

Okay okay.

Last thoughts on Mizuki and An.

I just find them really really compelling and have some surprising foiling with each other too. Again. I might me really reaching here since I’m just currently brainrotting about these two and their relationship, but!

Like think about it. In the beginning, Mizuki is someone who struggles to find a place for themselves for being who they are. While An in the beginning, has a wonderful place in a community for being who she is.

However, as we now see. An is struggling to find a sense of self worth and a place where she’s belongs. Whereas, Mizuki is slowly building a community of friends and people who really care about Mizuki as Mizuki.

Of course Mizuki still struggles with letting people in due to their secret, but Mizuki I has definitely grew and is getting more comfortable with the idea that Mizuki can belong as themselves. Whereas An is struggling to figure out who she even is without the titles she was given at such a young age. A role she was unintentionally forced upon.

So like-

So like! Do You See My Vision???

DO YOU SEE IT????

Mizuki helping An on finding herself and a new sense of community like how An has reassured Mizuki in the past of Mizuki’s identity and given them a sense of community! Completing the Foiling from the beginning!

DO YOU SEE THE VISION???!!!

AN AND MIZUKI FRIENDSHIP FTW!!!!

Okay. I’ve calmed down now. Thank for listening to my brainrot~

I do see your vision and thank you for the brain rot! It's very interesting. You have to stop sending those in my inbox and actually make your own character analysis blog because I feel terrible for posting these with my post ownership I feel like I'm stealing the credit here /silly

Also allow me to redirect you to this old character analysis post I've made for An if you haven't seen it yet. I have a feeling you might enjoy the read.

[myprogrammingsolver]

Homework 2 Trees Solved

Important Notes Please do not start the assignment before reading these notes. Your ZIP archive should contain the following les: hw2.pdf, the le containing the answers to Questions 1 and 3. BinaryNode.h, BinaryNode.cpp, BinarySearchTree.h, BinarySearchTree.cpp, analyze.cpp, and bst-analysis.txt les as well as any additional class and its header les which contain the C++ source codes, and the…

[devitalization]

↻ᴹᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ ˡᵒᵃᵈᵉᵈ ꒰ analysis.txt now available ꒱

i don't know about anybody else, but i love when games with plot-driven choices are able to gather analytics and break down the community's perception of the story. as such, the gamedec team has done so! here is their information, as of 01/14/2023.

꒰ the following infographic and the text input were created by agnieszka mulak; gamedec's narrative designer. aga broke down game stats by focusing on how players behaved during the game. check out those interesting results and, of course, share them with us. on which side are you? ꒱

꒰ players are notoriously good. when given a choice in a game, they overwhelmingly pick the “good”, honorable, and kind options. we took a peek into our analytics data to see how strong this tendency is, and lo and behold… in a dialogue with no other prompts and only a vague background for the npc, 97% of our players chose to be kind instead of threatening in order to advance the plotline. they did so knowing both approaches held equal rewards. ꒱

꒰ the tendency held in other dialogues, even if the npc players spoke to, was far from innocent and required players to submit to their twisted will. even then, over 70% of players decided to earn the reward by being on the npc’s good side rather than contradicting them. ꒱

꒰ it might not be a morality thing only, though. in dialogues where the “right” and “left” sides (in our choice visualization) had nothing to do with good and evil, about 80% of the players still opted for the right side. a habit? a culture-wide association of directions with moral valuations? it might be a bit of both. ꒱

꒰ the tendency is not set in stone, however. when the game offered a greater reward for picking the left side, the majority of the players chose smart and went with the reward. luckily for us, they can be tempted, after all. ꒱

[programmingsolver]

Homework 2 – Trees Solution

Your ZIP archive should contain the following les: hw2.pdf, the le containing the answers to Questions 1 and 3. BinaryNode.h, BinaryNode.cpp, BinarySearchTree.h, BinarySearchTree.cpp, analyze.cpp, and bst-analysis.txt les as well as any additional class and its header les which contain the C++ source codes, and the Makefile. Do not forget to put your name, student id, and section number in…

[irisu-syndromemes]

on irisu's diary, uujima's memory, and contradictions

something i havent seen anyone talk much about is irisu's diary. no, not the cough medicine txt file. irisu's in-game diary. you know, this?

...except in english. i havent seen many people ever talk about this except for when it spooks them during videos. well, i figured someone should transcript it. so i did. heres the full text, from the english translation patch:

"I moved a lot as a child so I never really made any friends. I was so scared of becoming close to someone that eventually, I stopped talking. All my classmates, and even my teachers, shunned me. But I had a friend, in the corner of the schoolyard. Every time I got close to the cage, it'd come wobbling over to greet me. I'd reach through the netting, and pet its forehead. It liked it. I think it was taken in as a weakling by the school, but no one came to see it. It was weak, shy and covered in scars. Half of one ear was torn off. There was a cat at the school, too. Everyone played with it. I got sick whenever I played with the cat, so I stayed away from it, and everyone else. That boy showed up to help one day. Apparently he lost a bet. And that's how I started to like him. Maybe I was being selfish, but I slowly got closer and closer to him. In the middle of those dark and gloomy days, being with him may have been the only happy moment of my childhood. One day, I came to my friend's cage to settle it down. The door was open. In the middle of the cage, I saw red liquid splattered all over. All that remained in the cage was it severed head. And the cat, licking the remains That cat,"

first, i feel like i should point out that its impossible to know what comes after "that cat" so in actuality, we dont know if in english the sentence would start with that (for the record: in japanese you could say "i hate cats because of that cat" but the order of the words would be completely different, so saying "that cat is the reason why i hate cats" would be a more literal translation of the sentence, in accordance to the order of sentence parts. i dont speak japanese, nor am i knowledgeable and articulate enough to explain myself, but the basic gist is that the translators translated what they could read). second, i genuinely have no clue what "settle it down" means in this context, i feel like that doesnt make any sense, so ill just ignore it. lastly, this post will take this diary entry as "truth" aka what irisu experienced as a kid.

this diary entry shines light on something that isnt explored very well in the diary entries in uujima's suicidal rabbit diary: he talked to irisu... so i assume. "showed up to help one day" at least to me implies they talked. taking into account the small comment about the bet, we can assume that was just a half-assed excuse uujima made up to be with her, but the fact that this is never mentioned ever again leads me to think uujima simply forgot about the small lie. this wouldnt be important if not for the fact that he cant remember irisu from back when they were both kids during the events of his diary txt file as college students. we know this because he never mentions remembering her from anywhere. and youd think decapitating a rabbit to make said girl more sociable would be enough reason to remember her, right? in the in-game diary excerpts, he claims to have always watched her from afar... but this seems suspicious to me.

many claim that uujima didnt actually kill uutarou, because one of the diary entries say that the rabbit was lying on the floor of the cage, dead. but the last ripped diary page mentions he saw the rabbit's last moments. so which is the truth?

there are other things that make me suspect that uujima has memory problems. he seems not to remember why he "saw"/"sees" the rabbit's red eyes in his sleep, and there is an instance of him apparently not remembering the foreign picture books of dying rabbits. his general personality also points to that of a person who's careless about what happens to himself (like being suicidal, but careful in more "important" matters, such as thinking of irisu's plan backfiring on them due to evidence and such), so i cant help but think that whether the rabbit was killed or was already dead is honestly rather ambiguous.

i dont know if all these contradictions are the result of the writer/s not writing the details properly into the game, translation issues, or just purposeful writing that puts emphasis on lost memory. of note, there are different instances of canonical material (as in, both found in and from the game, as well as dataminable files) that refer to the boys as satoru and takeru, but sometimes theyre satoshi and takeshi. in the end, im just left confused.

-Mod transcribing that whole text was a chore. oh well~

[andoutofharm]

everything everywhere all at once + the themes of so much (for) stardust

pete wentz describing the album’s themes at fall out boy metro // album announcement // fall out boy’s new year email // love from the other side

[andoutofharm]

we’re all useless alone. it’s a good thing you’re not alone. // you’re not in this alone

everything everywhere all at once + mcr post // mcr interview // the kids from yesterday // scarecrow // the only hope for me is you // demolition lovers // skylines and turnstiles

[andoutofharm]

mania (fall out boy) + uncertainty & belief & death & endings

[thekidsarentalright]

Idk if you have talked about this (you probably already did) but I'm just curious, in your opinion what is the kids aren't alright about? Have you done any analysis on the song?

i probably Have analyzed it but i can't find it and its been so long so. will Happily ramble here about what i think its about <3 tbh this is the most beautiful ask i could ever get thank u <3

since you asked what i think tkaa is about, i'm not gonna do this in the normal way i analyze songs, which is a more line-by-line style to paint a picture of the whole story of the song, but instead just wanna like. ramble fksjdnf about it and what it means to me

i think the entire meaning of the song can be summed up by the line, "and in the end, i'd do it all again / i think you're my best friend", which really is to mean that i think that the overarching theme of the song is that life can be worth repeating and going through again for the people that you go through it with. connection and relationships give life incredible meaning, even with the bad things, even with sorrow and darkness, love makes it worth it- i'm yours, when it rains it pours, stay thirsty like before, as the song goes. when the storm comes, as the rain starts pouring and destruction closes in on you, wouldn't it be more comforting to have somebody beside you? facing the chaos with their hands in yours? wouldn't it be worth going through the storm again (stay thirsty like before) just to have those moments with the people you love?

and normally when i analyze songs, i very much try to stay away from analyzing them in a way that is very personal to pete/the members of the band just because... i don't wanna be presumptive! but, this song feels like one of the few that i Can't look at separate from pete and the band. no song feels more like a love letter to the band, and even to the fans, than the kids aren't alright. this band has known each other for over half their lives, they have been best friends and brothers for longer than they haven't been. every up and down each of them have gone through since they met each other, they have gone through together, they have seen their darkest sides and deepest depressions and through it all have Still chosen to love each other and stick together. as the rain has come and poured on them, as the storm that is life shipwrecked the band and sent them stranded in seemingly opposite directions, the love remained. the found each other again, because they were willing to do it all again for each other. their love and friendship is the purest embodiment of the song, and is the thesis of fall out boy as a band, to me. even through destruction and overbearing egos and inner turmoil each of them were experiencing that we are likely to never know the depths of- they Chose that their bonds were worth it, their bonds made life worth living and fighting for.

i feel that spirit, that life is worth fighting for if you have someone/something you love to Live for, is perfectly encapsulated by the lyrics, "and it's our time now if you want it to be / maul the world like the carnival bear set free"- if you want, life is ours for the taking regardless of the rest of the world. carnival bears were often mistreated and repressed, beaten down for acting in their nature, if one were set free they would finally truly be Free to be how they wish to be. in the context of the song, because we have each other, we can take the world on how We want, we can be who We want to be, Together. This is also something that i think is the thesis of fall out boy- the band of underdogs for underdogs, fighting for a space in the world to be safe and express themselves how they want to, and because they've found each other and an audience that Understands them, they can maul the world like the carnival bear set free. they are mauling the world, with every song released and show performed, they're taking on the world on their terms as a united band of best friends. and with their fans behind them, that spirit is embodied tenfold, making this song not only feel like a song for the band, about the band, but Also about the fans and for the fans.

before coming to any sweeping conclusion, i wanna talk about the bridge, because i feel like it is the last piece that does fully show what i think the song is about in totality. The bridge goes, "sometimes i just want to sit around and gaze at my shoes / and let your dirty sadness fill me up just like a balloon"- other than the carnival bear line, i believe this might be my favorite lyric of the song (which is saying a lot in a song of banger after banger line), as i feel the imagery it paints is just so heartaching and melancholy in such a beautiful way. there's a lot here in these lyrics, from how in the genius annotations pete annotated this line with a still of someone's shoes and a bunch of guitar pedals on the ground- something he would no doubt gaze down at when gazing down at his shoes while recording or performing, hammering home the meaning of this song being about/for the band and the fans. they share their sadness with each other, with the fans (to an extent), and the fans share their sadness back- music is always a reminder of the bond we all share in our heaviest moments, as is the guitar pedals being present when gazing down at your shoes in sorrow or guilt. another point i want to make is about "gaze at my shoes" perhaps being a play on words about "shoegaze" as a genre of music defined by guitar distortion and effects and a dreamy/ethereal feel- connecting the picture, the lyrics, the meaning of the band and fans always being there and music being a connection between us all, in a way. essentially, i feel this lyric is just a very melancholy, beautiful way to say sometimes its very easy to just wallow in your feelings, but having somebody with you to help take on your sadness, having these connections and these bonds, can make it lighter.

to try and find a way to summarize it, i really do just think the kids aren't alright is about love. in its purest form, it's about love. loving other people enough to live for them, finding the bonds and connections that give meaning to a meaningless existence, allowing yourself to feel pain in equal measure with pleasure. these are things that make life what it is, without these things life would be numb, meaningless nothingness. in the purest way, i believe the kids aren't alright is about what it is to be human and to love with reckless abandon, to be free to be and feel and love even if pain is present. Because pain doesn't diminish the love or light you can experience in life, and allowing yourself to believe anything less is to deny yourself a instrumental piece of the human experience.

[andoutofharm]

the way that from under the cork tree and so much (for) stardust carry so many of the same sentiments and motivations, but one is this younger, anger-driven explosion of emotion that is in turn fueled by and paralyzed by its own range and the other is the more mature processing of those emotions and helplessness.

in so much (for) stardust, instead of letting anger and helplessness push you to a sort of frozen state where you’re just angry at your own helplessness, there is optimism but also motivation and release that comes in recognizing life is short and possibly meaningless but you still have to live. the anger is still there. the helplessness is still there. it’s just handled and experienced differently now that you are different and have different responsibilities.

interviews: x x

[andoutofharm]

they really got it right in recent interviews - frustrated really is the perfect word to use to describe mania:

it’s angry and it’s helpless and angry at the world and at itself and angry at the fact that there’s nothing that they can do to stop it or change it or make it better. it’s bottling in all your rage and trying to push it down and function in the world but you can’t because the anger and helplessness and everything you’re going through is suffocating you. the anger is simmering just under the surface with every song, and even the ones that act as love songs are helpless to function in the face of it all.

the album begins with a call to action, to resist, to fight:

but this is how it ends:

you cannot help but feel this. you cannot stop this. you cannot change this. you cannot escape this. so you might as well just let it wash over you and pull you down to the bottom and drown in it.

[thekidsarentalright]

heaven's gate makes me so insane bc it's like. not just love as obsession and devotion in general, but love as obsessive and devoted as one could be with religion, love as obsessive and devoted as one could be with an addiction. love as being holy and taking over all of you and your thoughts. you're the one habit i just can't kick, everything else is a substitute for your love, so give me a boost into heaven so i can never have to be without you, as i am That obsessed and devoted to you .

EDIT ON THE POST TOO: this is not about the cult this is a post abt a fall out boy song oh my god 💀

[andoutofharm]

the thing about American Beauty/American Psycho (sixth studio album by American rock band Fall Out Boy, released on January 16, 2015) is that it is about memory (i remember i remember; i can’t remember just how to forget; i don’t want to remember it all) and being remembered (i was only born inside my dreams; i only appeared so i can fade away) and nostalgia and looking back on what was (you were the song stuck in my head; the promises you made if i just hold on) and what could have been vs what is (i said i’d never miss you but you never know; we’re the thing that love destroys; i just need enough of you to dull the pain) and watching it all fade away (hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on)