#and I also think that. given his track record of just rolling with Tom's insanity

[wambsgraham-archive]

It looks like Tom’s path as a modern day emperor Nero is following along pretty closely to the specific version of the story that he told Greg in 3x4, so I thought it’d be fun to see how much of the parallel has been settled already, and how much might be left for season 4.

So far, this is what we’ve got:

Nero pushed his wife down the stairs: (Tom betraying Shiv’s plan to Logan, obviously)

Then he had Sporus castrated: (I think this is Tom knocking Greg down a peg with regards to making a fool of himself before congress and being looked after by him)

And he married him instead: (The deal with the devil)

And he gave him a ring:

And he made him dress up like his dead wife: (Could be the already ongoing trend of Tom using Greg as a replacement for his relationship with Shiv, or could be something specific in season 4)

So all that is to say, I’m pretty sure that sometime in the first few episodes of season 4, Tom is either gonna find some excuse to just straight up give Greg a ring, or if they want to go a little more abstract with it, he’ll finally buy him a goddamn fancy watch

[racingtoaredlight]

RTARL’s 2020 NFL Season Week 11 Extravapalooza

Holy moly, we’ve already made it to Week 11. I’m honestly conflicted over whether or not this is a good thing. In terms of basic pandemic mitigation practices, the NFL conducting its season is fucking insane. These guys are all well-compensated pros, but they’re still taking risks well above and beyond what they normally do, and I truly feel pretty shitty about that. In addition, the fact that some stadiums are allowing thousands of fans inside during games is a crime against humanity, and it really lays bare how craven and sociopathic the ghouls who own sports franchises are. 

With that said, it’s extremely hypocritical of me to be so disdainful of the NFL’s current existence, since I watch the games, set my fantasy lineup, and generally enjoy all the stuff that comes with an NFL season. I usually bristle and roll my eyes whenever a sporting entity trots out the whole “We feel like we’re helping society by providing a distraction from everything going on” line, but in this case, with where we are right now as a country...the NFL really is doing that. For me, anyway. Is the stress-relief that the NFL provides to me and millions of other people worth all the bad stuff that comes with it? I don’t know. Probably not. But, I’d be lying if I said I’m not thankful that it’s there.

My picks are in BOLD, and the lines come to us courtesy of our friends at Vegas Insider. I use the “VI Consensus” line, which is the line that occurs most frequently across Vegas Insider’s list of sportsbooks. Your sportsbook of choice may offer a different number, and if you’d like my opinion on said number A) you are insane, and B) leave a comment below and I’ll try to answer at some point before things kickoff today.

EARLY GAMES

Tennessee Titans at Baltimore Ravens (-6)

It’s odd to have a game between a pair of 6-3 teams widely considered contenders that feels like a “must win” for each scuffling side. A great man once said “Desperation is a stinky cologne,” and the Titans absolutely reek coming into this one, so I’m giving them the edge. Baltimore being down two starting defensive linemen when Derrick Henry comes to town also factors into my pick, but nobody wants to hear that nerd shit, gotta go with my GUT, baby!

Philadelphia Eagles at Cleveland Browns (-2.5)

Hey, Cleveland doesn’t have to play in the middle of a tornado this week! There will still be driving rains, though. Fortunately, the Browns are built for the slop. RBs Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt are both ridiculous, but I’d like to give a special shoutout to G Wyatt Teller, who is currently Pro Football Focus’ highest-graded player...in the entire NFL. That’s some grade A beef! DE and straight-up superhuman Myles Garrett is out for this one, which is an enormous blow for the Cleveland defense. If I had any confidence whatsoever in Carson Wentz I’d think about taking Philly, but that young man is a mess.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-10.5) at Jacksonville Jaguars

I’m once again betting on the Steelers playing down to the level of their competition. The Jags kept things close against the Packers last week, there’s fight in them thar cats.

Cincinnati Bengals at Washington Football Team (-1.5)

I’m still extremely nervous for Alex Smith the entire time he’s on the field, but I have to admit there’s something magical about him making it all the way back to being exactly as Alex Smith-y as he was before (minus the scrambling ability, obviously). Washington RB J.D. McKissic has 16(!) catches on 29(!!) targets over the two games Smith has started. If this continues J.D. is going to owe Alex a cut of his next contract, and possibly the mineral rights to his legs if the need arises.

Today is Cincy RB Gio Bernard’s birthday, so LOOK OUT LADIES!

Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints (-3.5)

I’m making this pick based on the assumption that New Orleans really does roll with Taysom Hill at QB for the entire game, because that’s what all currently available information indicates will happen. I really do wonder if that’s going to be the case, though. I’ve read a couple of things speculating that the reason Hill is starting is that if Jameis plays he’s likely to reach various incentive clauses in his contract and cost the Saints a bunch of money. That seems utterly ridiculous to me, because why the hell would you bother signing him at all if this is how you were gonna roll? Then again, I’m not a Football Man, so maybe my un-browned normie brain just doesn’t understand.

Detroit Lions (-3) at Carolina Panthers

CATFIGHT!!!

The Lions are the orange kitty in this scenario, because Matthew Stafford will be playing through a torn thumb while not having WR Kenny Golladay or RB D’Andre Swift at his disposal. 

New England Patriots (-2) at Houston Texans

The concept of an “emotional hedge,” first introduced to me by RTARL commenter Beer, is in play here. I have NO idea if the Patriots are actually decent or not, and this has all the makings of a letdown game coming off of their unexpected win over Baltimore. Reigning Defensive Player of the Year Stephon Gilmore is expected to be back for the Pats in this one, which is very nice. RB Sony Michel is also likely coming back, which could muddy the backfield and take touches away from Damien Harris, which is less nice. 

The Patriots have an atrocious rush defense, but Houston’s primary RB, Duke Johnson, is far better as a receiver than as a straight-up runner, so I’m not sure they can take advantage all that much. In addition, Duke’s receiving skills are mostly squandered because QB DeShaun Watson hates checking down and seemingly prefers to take sacks while looking for throws downfield instead. Wait, why the hell am I picking Houston here??? Is this what hedging is? I don’t like it!

LATE GAMES

New York Jets at Los Angeles Chargers (-9.5)

It feels weird to lay 9.5 points with a 2-7 team, but such is the power of the Jets’ ineptitude. To New York’s credit, they were competitive in two of their last three games (against NE and BUF), but those two games were sandwiched around a 35-9 beatdown at the hands of Kansas City. We would all feel better if the cool, young Chargers steamrolled these sad sacks in a joyous explosion of big plays, and this pick is my attempt at speaking it into existence. 

Miami Dolphins (-3.5) at Denver Broncos

I don’t know why I have an affinity for Drew Lock, but I do. He probably appeals to the same part of my brain that delights in terrible movies and horrible jokes, which is the most backhanded compliment I have ever given anyone in my entire life. Drew's gonna tough it out and try to play through a rib injury this week, which is gutty and admirable and all that, but I can’t imagine it’s going to help his already shaky accuracy.

Green Bay Packers at Indianapolis Colts (-1.5)

The Packers are getting their best defensive player back in CB Jaire Alexander, which will make life more difficult for increasingly-noodle-armed Colts QB Philip Rivers. Conversely, Indy’s defense is among the best in the league, so I don’t really see a carnival of offense coming from the Packers, either. Honestly, this should be a close, well-played game between two exceedingly competent squads. The kind of game where there will be long stretches where nothing major happens, but you can point out random shit that happens away from the ball and talk about line play and really sound like you know what the fuck you’re talking about. A tremendous game for fraudulent football-knowers everywhere.

Dallas Cowboys at Minnesota Vikings (-7)

It would be an INCREDIBLY Vikings move to lose this game outright. The return of Andy Dalton is being treated like it’s something that’ll get the Cowboys somewhat back on track, but prior to his injury he looked like crap, so I don’t really know where that’s coming from. Also, while he was out with a concussion he had a bout with COVID-19 that “hit him hard.” It’s tough for me to imagine he’s going to play BETTER coming out of what sounds like a truly shitty few weeks.

SNF: Kansas City Chiefs (-7.5) at Las Vegas Raiders

A lot has been made about how pissed Kansas City is about the Raiders taking a supposed “victory lap” in their team bus around the Arrowhead parking lot after their win over the Chiefs earlier in the season, and I’m choosing to completely buy into this narrative because it’s fucking hilarious. If K.C. has already reached the “needing to exaggerate/outright invent slights to get up for regular season games against inferior opponents” portion of their reign, we’re in great shape for entertainment purposes going forward.

MNF: Los Angeles Rams at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-4)

I don’t remotely trust Jared Goff against Tampa Bay’s defense. I do think this is probably our SMASHMOUTH NOSEBLEED GRIND IT OUT Game of the Week, and I can already see Tom Brady screaming at his offensive linemen at some point after he gets popped a couple of times during a single possession. Should be fun!

Last Week’s Record: 7-5-1

Season Record: 65-68-5

[mrevaunit42]

New on the job (Spiderman Homecoming au)

Hello everyone Mr.E here and yes I am finally done with the spiderman homecoming au. this has been haunting me to write it these last few weeks and it is done. IT IS DONE AND I AM VERY MUCH TEMPTED TO MAKE THIS A STORY BECAUSE ME AND MY GOOD FRIEND @hains-mae collaborated  on this and Did a lot of world building.

Yes I’ve gone off the deep end if you hadn’t noticed from my drabbles but oh well. I’ve embraced my insanity.

so a few notes on this story. Yes this is loosely based off the spiderman homecoming movie but not completely. Spiderman and Iron man exist in this universe. As of this moment, those are the only two MCUs really in this universe because there’s just not a lot to work with without making this a giant cross over and honestly, i rather keep it smaller and not add every avenger ever. 

Second, for the identity of Iron man, it’s a secret. I’m going back to the original comics where no one knows who Iron Man is and as far as anyone can tell he’s Tony Stark’s bodyguard using a suit tony made for him after being captured and all that jazz. So in this universe, Tony Stark is played by teenager canon Tom (who is human in this version) and Iron Man is his bodyguard. 

Star is MJ from the homecoming because I love her attitude in the movie and it’s really a nice change of pace for writing the magical princess. Seriously it was too much fun in the drabbles and it is too much fun here. also Ferguson is Ned but not ned because hidden plot reason. He’s basically ned the friend and not ned guy in the chair. 

the last thing thing i really need to talk about is the villain in this story. Honestly, I’ve been playing overwatch, I love playing the new character doomfist and I honestly just wanted my own villain with a giant robotic arm so i do what i do best: poorly design my own.  It’s not anyone from Star vs, completely original so there’s no secret identity to figure out there. 

finally the story. This takes place early on in Marco’s career, a few months after being bitten by the spider and he’s trying to prove to the city he is an actual hero like his idol Iron man *Who has some renown at this point* 

That’s it for me. Have an amazing week, i hope you enjoy the story. there is a lot more to it that me and mae came up with and if you like it, let me know. check her tumblr out for some awesome sketches of this au. I Might do more because I had a blast writing this. take care everyone!

notification squad: @artgirllullaby @hipster-rapunzel @nerdymetalhead @minthia-ren @thefandombytes @isolated-frequencies 

Marco couldn't keep the smile off his face as the video played, a muted spectacular of self reflective glory that he felt immense pride in.

“Man” Marco murmured disappointingly, squinting to get a better view of the multicolored blur that darted in and out of frame “I wish this dude had a better camera phone, I can't see...”

“The board, Mr. Diaz?”

Marco gulped, slowly closing his laptop while Miss Skullnick threw the harshest glare she could muster his way.

“Umm, I'm sorry Miss Skullnick” Marco uneasily replied “I was...a little distracted.”

“I would've never guessed” she answered sarcastically

Marco could feel his ears burn as the class snickered.

“If you're done daydreaming about you crush..”

“Hey!”

“...whatever” Miss Skullnick completely ignored his outburst “Could you please solve the problem on the board?”

Marco studied the problem carefully, making sure to factor everything in and double check his work to ensure he didn't suffer another embarrassment so soon after being called out by the teacher.

“It's 9.” Marco said confidently.

Miss Skullnick grimaced unhappily as she grumbled “Correct Mr. Diaz but next time pay attention or I might decide to send you detention because you're annoying me.”

“Yes Miss Skullnick” Marco muttered as the bell rang, freeing the students for lunch.

“Dude, bro! I have never seen you more distracted” Marco's orange topped best friend Ferguson teased as the pair made their way to their usual spot in the cafeteria “Except maybe when Jackie's within line of sight. Checking out her page again?”

“What? No” Marco scoffed “I was just checking out that new hero on the block, you know Spiderman?”

“Ooooo” Ferguson nodded before giving an indifferent shrug “yeah, I still think that's some sort of media stunt. Hollywood's gonna probably drop the trailer next week or something.”

“Media stunt?” Marco questioned incredulously as they took their seats “The dude was climbing up walls.”

“Blue screen.”

“Blue screen?! He was climbing up real walls. LIKE A SPIDER.”

Ferguson rolled his eyes “Oh poor gullible Marco, you'd believe anything, will you? Get real man all that footage was obviously faked. Some random videos of him saving cats or helping old ladies cross the street and you're ready to believe in anything. Besides, no one wants to see a movie about some dork who got bitten by spider and somehow got super human powers. It'd never sell. Now a man dressed like bat, that I 'd watch.”

Marco gave Ferguson a deadpanned look as third person joined their table.

The boys shared a concerned look while Star Butterfly began to make herself comfortable.

The resident quiet loner with a snarky attitude was dressed in her usual attire: Most of her blond hair done up in ponytail while a small curtain of it covered a part of her face with a red devil hairband sitting on her head. A simple ribbon tied around her neck and a single spiked wristband. She was wearing a black and white striped shirt covered by a black blazer jacket. Her skirt was a seafoam green sporting a koala wearing an eyepatch stitched into the fabric. And the look was completed with her black as night combat boots for extra badness.

“Umm....can we help you?” Ferguson asked slowly.

“Nope” Star replied, quietly digging into her school mandated lunch.

“....So are we like friends now?” Marco carefully questioned.

“Psst, I don't I have friends.” Star said with a casual tone.

“Then why are you hanging out with us?” Marco rose an eyebrow.

“Seriously Star” Ferguson chimed in “What's your deal?”

Star smugly stared their way “You two are like the perfect anti-social haven. No one would even come near you two.”

“hey!” Marco cried out indignantly before noticing the wide berth the entire room had given them, a perfectly circular boundary between their table and everyone else “...hey...”

“oh lighten up” Star leaned in closer, gesturing with her fork playfully “You got me, that's something.”

Marco let out a tired sigh “You are seriously confusing me with your statements right now.”

“Good” Star beamed “Get used to it.”

“Wait, I'm confused” Ferguson motioned with a hand to stop everything “.....are we friends?”

“No Ferguson” Marco answered “we're not friends, we're just some sort of barrier between Star and any sort of social interaction she might be forced to deal with.”

“hey” Star shot back with a serious tone “Don't call me Star. Only my friends call me Star.”

“...then what do we call you?”

Star pursed her lips for a moment, face scrunching up deep in thought

“Bfly” she finally decided on “Call me Bfly.”

“Bfly?” Marco repeated “What are we in second grade? That is the lamest thing I ever heard.”

“YEAH!” Ferguson agreed before a thought suddenly came to him “Oh Marco, my lego Red 5 X-wing is coming into today. 1,559 of pure space combat. Wanna help me build it?”

“Psstyeah” Marco giving a content head nod in response “you know it.”

Star stared blankly at the two beginning to excitedly chatter about what was the most efficient way to form the legos and how fast they think they could manage it.

“Nerds” Star scoffed

“You know it” Ferguson gave a cocky nod.

“Yeah! Oh shoot” Marco snapped his fingers “I can't right after school.”

“You can't?” Ferguson parroted

“Yeah, I'm...” Marco paused as excuses began to churn in his head “I'm working on getting an internship. You know, for college credit. But hey” he quickly added “I should be able to work on it after dinner. Swing by around 8 and we'll start on it then. ”

“After?” Ferguson shook his head “No, no, no senor Diaz. It is Taco Tuesday and there is no way I am missing authentic Mexican food from your parents. I'm coming before and joining you for dinner.”  

“Fine” Marco hung his head in defeat “But you're cleaning dishes.”

“I am a guest, you are cleaning dishes my friend.”

Marco shook his head in mock annoyance when he caught Star staring at him, a flicker of worry in her oceanic blue eyes.

“Yes St...Bfly, what are you staring at?”

The concern vanished in an instant and was replaced with her usual uncaring gaze.

“Trying to figure out where you got an internship” Star answered “Last I checked, the school didn't get any offers from any of the major companies and I doubt you have any connections on the inside to land an internship.”

“How would you know Star?”

“I just do Marco. Unlike you, I do my research.”

“I'm looking into it” Marco said with a hint of finality as he rose to his feet, lunch tray firmly in his hands “and I'm sure I'll get one in no time. I am funny....”

“Debatable” Star chimed in.

Marco frowned and looked to Ferguson for support only to find his best friend nodding in agreement.

“Yeah sorry muchaco, you're not that funny.”

“Ferguson!”

“What?” the orange haired teen threw his hands up defensively “it's not my fault it's true.”

Marco rubbed his eyes, trying to ignore Star's smug smirk.

“I think I'm funny” Marco went on “I'm smart, I have good grades and have a clean record. I, Marco Diaz, am....am...am...”

“Ammmm?” Star gestured for Marco to get on with it.

“Uh oh” Ferguson scratched his cheek nervously as he stood next to Marco “Yeah he's stuck.”

“Stuck?” Star couldn't keep the disbelief out of her voice “What do you mean stuck?”'

“Jackie” Ferguson answered simply, motioning to the far side of the room.  

Star turned around and sure enough, there was the only thing existence that could ever stop Marco Ubaldo Diaz in his tracks: Jackie Lynn Thomas dressed in the usual skater girl attire.

“So how long is lover boy gonna be like...?” Star pointed Marco's dazed, goofy face.

“Until she leaves. Always gets a little brain dead around her.”

Star glanced at the frozen teen “A little?”

Ferguson shrugged “Okay, a lot.”

“I'm going to go” Star got to her feet “Tell loverboy he needs to stop staring. It's creepy.”

“Will do” Ferguson gave a mock salute.

Star couldn't decide if a weirded out stare or simply walking away was a more appropriate response.

She opted for the walk away.

Marco let out a relived sigh as he ducked and weaved through the sea of students that poured out of the classrooms like an uncontrolled torrent.

“Excuse me” Marco called out “Coming through. Oh come on! I know you saw me. We both know”

“Marco!” Ferguson called out, pulling his best friend into a smaller, less occupied hallway “Dude, what's the rush?”

“I told you.”

Ferguson stared at him blankly.

“The internship? Trying to find one? My whole entire future on the line. Come on Ferg, weren't you paying attention?”

“Honestly? No, not really.” Ferguson said with a straight face.

Marco resisted the urge to throttle his friend “You know what, just be at my house around 7, stay for dinner then we'll work on the X-wing, okay?”

“Gotcha Marco” Ferguson clicked his tongue and gestured with a finger gun “7 it is.'

“Cool, thanks!” Marco shouted before taking off at full speed down the hall.

Ferguson stood there, completely confused to why Marco had just thanked him.

Oh well, if it was important, he would've remembered.

Marco frowned and grimaced under his costume as the city went on with its usual business: Cars were honking, the overlapping chatter of millions of people filled the air as the clack clack clack of trains rumbled nearby. A normal day in the big city

and it sucked.

“Well this was a waste of an afternoon.” Marco grumbled to himself “Seriously 4 hours on duty and not a single major incident. Some stolen bikes, lost grannys but nothing! NOTHHING! How am I supposed to be a hero if there aren't heroic things to do?”

Marco glanced down at his makeshift hero outfit: His red hoodie tucked under an equally red sweater vest with messy and uneven black lines threaded into the center and  vaguely shaped in a form of a spider. A red ski mask under his hood and pair of goggles from his parents last ski trip to protect his eyes (and let him see through the harsh glare of the afternoon light). Completing the look were his old black dress pants, his regular everyday sneakers and a pair of mismatched blue gloves. He really wasn't feeling the gloves but he felt like he needed some sort of blue on him.

He really had to work on his costume.

“It's the costume right?” Marco spoke out loud apprehensively “It's got to be the costume. What do you think?”

The bird stared confusingly at the young teen before taking flight, leaving Marco without a response.

“Gee, thanks” Marco muttered sarcastically “Some help you turned out to be!”

“HELP!” A panicked voice cried from the street below “SOMEBODY HELP!”

Marco snapped out of his stupor and peered downward only to find people scattering in all directions while cars violently overturned and tossed about.

“How did I miss that?” Marco scolded himself as he leapt into a dive, the rush of air and blood thundering in his ears.

He shot his web shooter towards the next building over and pulled himself into a swing, rapidly gaining speed as the ground drew closer.

With a flick of his wrist, Marco snapped his hand free and launched himself into a forward flip, gracefully sailing through the air and nearly tumbling off balance when his feet sunk into the roof of a car.

“Man!” An older voice shouted at him from the street “That's my car!”

Marco glanced about and found himself staring a very angry old man gesturing wildly to the teenage hero.

“Oh man” Marco replied , twisting and turning anxiously as he tried to figure out a way to solve this problem “Dude I'm sorry, I-I didn't...”

“What?” The old man yelled “Think this car belonged to somebody. Man, whatcha you think you doing falling off roofs and swinging around recklessly.”

More screams filled the air alongside the sound of groaning metal and cracked glass.

Marco motioned to the source of the commotion “Dude, I got to go.”

“Man, you got to get better at this part of the job. Landings are important.”

Marco quickly got off the now cratered car and onto the street, hands still raised defensively “I'm still kinda new to this.”

“It shows.” The man shot back “Now go deal with that.”

Marco broke into a run, eager to get away from the trouble he accidentally created.

“Well” Marco murmured to himself,  stopping at the sight of a single man who just stood in the middle of the road “Out of the frying pan and into the fire. HEY BIG GUY!”

The person's head perked up upon hearing the teen's shout and glanced backwards to find a costumed guy waving at him, gesturing for them to come over.

The person turned around and Marco suddenly wish they hadn't

Normally he would've made a snide remark about how funny their choice of outfit had been, even for New York standards: Several stop signs bent and welded together forming some sort of chest armor, half of a car door wore as some sort of shoulder guard, arm and knee pads comprised of metal sheets, a pair of shades and scarf obscuring the person's face from view with a long trench coat that obviously was added for dramatic effect and two air compressor tanks strapped to their back with tubes connecting to their legs and...other arm.

Speaking of the other arm, that's what made Marco paused. The other arm that had been blocked from view but it wasn't now: It was massive in scope, comically huge. It wasn't a singular color but rather varying hues of colors and shades of rust covered metal that gave it a very Frankenstein monster vibe. He could hear the clicking of joints, pistons and various other metallic working under the surface as the thick, metal fingers flexed threateningly.

“Did you call me?” The person's voice was muffled by the scarf.

“Umm....Umm yeah.” Marco replied timidly “I...I noticed wave of destruction and you my man seem to be at the center of it.”

“I'm a girl.”

“Oh” Marco nodded “Sorry I couldn't tell with the...umm whole Mad Max thing you got going on there....”

“Awesome” she replied, a hint of happiness in her voice “I'm really glad. I wanted to keep my identity a secret so...”

“Yeah, yeah it totally work. So...umm...what's with...?” Marco motioned to the cracked pavement and flipped over cars.

“They were in my way.” The girl pointed behind her “I'm about to go rob a bank actually.”

“Umm cool. Could you not maybe? It's kinda of a crime.”

The girl used her normal hand to mockingly scratch her covered chin “I dunno. I really like money and I kinda need it.”

“Hey I totally get it” Marco agreed “but I really need you to just not do that so...”

Thwoosh.

The girl blinked in surprised as she found her regular hand constricted and wrapped tightly in some sort of webbing.

She glanced back at Marco

“Do you really want to do this the hard way?”

“Not really but that tone tells me that's what is going to happen anyway.”

“Smart.”

A harmonious clacking of gears and pistons rumbled as she pulled back her massive metal arm, almost like she was preparing to jab at Marco from 10 feet away.

“Look” Marco took a step forward “It's a nice arm but there's no way....”

There was loud woosh of pressurized air being released and the girl rocketed forward towards Marco without warning.

Marco stumbled backwards, caught off guard as the girl drew closer, a sudden rush of air current propelling her fist directly at his face.

Marco regained his balance and dove out of the way just in time to avoid the hurtling chunk of metal that narrowly knocked his head off.

The girl dug her boots into the ground, digging deeply into the asphalt and cracking the pavement as she slowed to a stop, almost falling face forward to the floor from the sudden shift of momentum.

She whirled around in time to see Marco lunge at her, arm outstretched outward as a string of that webbing came sailing for her.

She rose her arm quickly and the webbing caught harmlessly on the metallic surface.

“You're really fast with that” Marco groaned, pulling at the string as hard as he could “Harness with a joints?”

“Among other stuff” The girl answered, straining to pull herself free of his grip. This scrawny guy and this web-like substance were stronger than they looked.

Marco looked about, trying to figure some sort of way to gain leverage when he felt a sharp tug on his web.

“Uh oh” Marco muttered as he was thrust violently through the air.

The girl pulled her arm back, dragging the unsuspecting hero towards her. With a grunt of effort, she clawed forward, swiping at her hapless that came her way.

Marco let go of his webbing and released another at a streetlight, pulling himself upwards and just barely avoiding the melee attack.

“Geesh” Marco hung upside, watching the girl steady her footing and glance his way “That can't be street legal.”

“What gave it away?” The girl replied jokingly “The fact it's made out random scrap.”

“So you're kinda of my first real villain and I feel really jerky if I just called you girl or something. Got a name?”

She pursed her lips “I was thinking going with Junkhead. Cuz...” she motioned to her arm.

“It's got some promise but I would've called you Junker” Marco pulled himself onto of the post “Or Gauntlet. You know...because the armor.”

The girl nodded in approval “Gauntlet. I like it. And what do I call you?”

“Spiderman” Marco replied

“That's a Spider?” Gauntlet leaned forward “I thought that was....actually I don't know what I thought that was. It looks like a bug splat.”

“Hey!”

“Like you're gonna be Spider Dork.”

Marco eyes popped out of his sockets as Gauntlet roughly ripped the streetlight from the concrete and tossed it away with Marco still ontop.

Marco leapt off the flying piece of New York City Property and landed gracefully onto the sidewalk below. Instinct screamed danger but by the time he regained his bearings, a massive row of metallic fingers connected with his stomach, knocking all the air out of him and sending him scraping the sidewalk viciously 20 feet away.

Marco coughed violently as he tried to refill his depleted lungs. He wearily grasped at a nearby car and struggled to lift himself to his feet.

He faintly hear the sound of metal being crunched and torn but he couldn't make heads or tails of what it could mean. He was too busy trying to catch his breath.

“Catch Spidey” Gauntlet called out, giving a sloppy pitcher's throw in his direction.

His instincts screamed at him, alarms went off in his head as he glanced towards Gauntlet's way only to notice the violently spinning car door coming his way.

Marco bent backwards, planting one hand firmly on the ground to steady himself as the projectile passed overhead, showering Marco in chunks of metal and glass debris before slamming into the side of a building with a mighty thud.

Marco pushed himself up and flipped backwards as Gauntlet closed the distance, swiping at him once more hoping to catch him off guard.

Marco landed on his feet, crouching low as the villain stood there, flexing her fingers.

“Getting tired Spidey?” Gauntlet asked.

“Not at all” Marco stood “But I think you might be running a little low on air.”

“Me?” Gauntlet gestured to herself, trying to keep her breathing steady “Not on your life.”

Marco smirked under his mask as he quickly flicked his wrist and shot another web towards his foe.

Gauntlet was quick in reacting but her arm wasn't. It sluggishly rose, trying to block the attack but this time it hadn't been fast enough. The web sailed past and approached Gauntlet's scarf, ready to pry it off

She reacted the only way she could: She twisted her body and cut downward with her arm, intercepting the web midair but leaving her back completely exposed to Spiderman.

Marco saw his chance. With another quick flick, he shot at one of the compressor's on her back. The web latched on with a satisfying thunk and Marco pulled with all his strength.

Gauntlet swore under her breath as she felt herself being pulled backwards but there was no time to complain about her mistake. She fought against the webbing as she placed her metal arm on the floor and pushed back. She gave herself a smug grin as she felt the tension of the string snap while she flew backwards.

She unsteadily landed on her feet but dropped into a fighting stance. Something felt off. Something had change. She felt lighter, almost like....

She could feel the blood drain out of her face as she saw Spiderman cockily wave her air compressor at her, gesturing if he should give it back.

Gauntlet weighed her options: with only one air compressor, her speed would be dramatically slowed and eventually fail all together. Even if she did beat the pest, she doubt she could take on the police or even continue onto the bank. No matter how this played out there was no way she could come out on top.”

“Surrender” Marco called out, causally tossing the near full container over his shoulder “There's no way you can win.”

Marco could practically feel her glare from behind her goggles, the cogs turning in her head as she weighed her options.

Gauntlet opened her mouth to speak when something glinted in the distance. Smoke trailing behind a red and gold blur. She squinted against the harsh sun when a chill formed in the pit of her stomach.

Spiderman watched a Gauntlet furiously fixed her fingers, her face still behind the scarf and goggles.

“You win this round Spider but next time, I will splat you.”

Marco blinked in surprise as she bent her knees, looking skyward as if about to fly. He run forward with a dull, tight ache filled his back and paralyzed him for a moment.

A moment was all she needed as Gauntlet's arm hissed and with a single punch, flung herself high into the air. She disappeared from view as she hopped over an entire building and the sound of broken cement could be heard 2 blocks over.

Marco could feel the adrenaline of battle end and his body ache wearily. Even if he wanted to go after her, he would've just been too tired to try.

Marco plopped onto the floor, resting his body when something shiny approached him, the sun glinting off its surface brightly.

Marco's eyes widen when he realized he was staring at the one, the only Iron Man, the tech hero and bodyguard to Tom Lucitor, heir to Lucitor Industries and creator of the suit.

Marco scampered to his feet, trying to keep his nerves calm but how could he?! He was meeting his hero. HIS HERO. Not in a dream, here in real life! FOR REAL.

Iron Man looked over the battered Marco, eying him carefully “Are you Spiderman?”

“Yes” Marco said a little too quickly “I mean...Yeah that's me. I'm the Spiderman. Well it's just Spiderman.”

Iron Man nodded “Good work kid” he told him in his heavily robotic voice “Go home. I'll clean up the mess here.”

Marco opened his mouth to argue when he felt a wince of pain course through his body.

“Trust me” Iron Man told him with a hint of pride in his voice “You did good. Go home kid.”

“Thanks Iron Man.” Marco eagerly waved goodbye “it means a lot coming from you. If you ever need me, just let me know.”

Iron Man said nothing as Marco made his way around the corner.

Marco let out a sleepy yawn as his phone shrilled at that he gotten a new text. It was 11 o'clock at night according to the time stamp. He swore if Ferguson was going to complain about how much lego Luke Skywalker did not look like Mark Hamil again, Marco was going to shave his head bald.

Marco groggily rubbed at his eyes, trying to read the message through blurry eyes but he didn't recognize the number. Nothing rang familiar about the area code or the following seven digits and the message contained within was even more confusing.

'Meet me on roofs'

Another shrill, another message

'*Roof, sorry autocorrect.'

Who could that be?

Marco stood, yawning loudly while slipping on his sneakers.

Normally this would've been a bad idea but he was Spiderman and he just took on his first real villain and WON! He was feeling pretty bad ass right if he did say so himself.

Marco softly opened his bedroom window and climbed onto the fire escape that hung off the side of the apartment. Marco shook the sleep out of his eyes as he climbed higher, the icy cold New York night freezing him awake.

Marco made onto the roof only to find a familiar metallic figure waiting for him.

“Marco Diaz?” Iron Man asked carefully, making his way over to the now awestruck teen.

Marco nodded dumbly

“The real identity of Spiderman?”

Marco froze, his heart stopping mid-beat

“I-I....what? Who?” Marco began “Whose that? Is that that costume freak that goes around, thinking he's a hero? Because that's...that's not...”

“I followed you home. You should really think about changing somewhere more private. This rooftop is pretty low.”

Marco hung his head in shame “I should've thought of that. Wait” Marco stared curiously at the armored hero “Why are you here?”

“To recruit you” Iron Man stated matter of fact “You saw. More villains are on the rise and we heroes need to stick together. And your suit isn't exactly battle approved.”

“Me? A hero?” Marco whispered breathlessly

“You are one, right?”

Marco could hear the prodding tone underneath the layers of distortion almost like he was trying to goad him.

“Yes, I am” Marco gave a confident nod.

“Good” Iron Man's chest opened, splitting apart as the figure within took a step outside, stretching their arms high towards the sky “because I've been thinking I might need partner sometimes.”

Marco's face fell as he recognized the true identity of Iron Man, his all time favorite hero and idol.

“Tom Lucitor?! The rich jerkbag teen?! You're Iron Man?!”

Tom wiped nonexistent dirt from his suit “Duh, who else would it be?”

[jswdmb1]

Mannish Boy

“I’m a rollin’ stone”

- Muddy Waters

I admit that I am jealous as hell of anyone who was at the Stones concerts this past week. I have a list of acts that I have never seen and they are at the top (Tom Petty was at #1 until I saw him a couple of summers ago right before he passed).  I know that I probably missed my last chance to see them, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy their stay here. I’ve been spinning through their catalog the past few days and came up with a seven song set list that I would put up against anyone’s. So let’s pretend I get my wish and get my own personal show. Here’s the seven songs I want to see:

Miss You - Let’s get things started with the funkiest grove of the 70’s. This song gets labeled the Stones disco record, but that is nonsense. This is a killer bass line with some smokin’ lyrics by Mick. I never fail to listen to this song when it comes on the radio, and you are lying if you say you don’t either. So stop calling it a guilty pleasure and crank it the next time it comes on because there is no better way to open things up than with this one.

Tumbling Dice - A lot of folks think Exile On Main Street is their best album and this is my favorite track from that record. There is something very steady about this song that comforts me. It also has a bit of a country twang, but it still rocks. My favorite part is the fade out with Mick and the backup singers singing “You’ve got to roll me” over jangling guitars. At times I think this song gets overlooked (as much as a Stones song can be), but I think it belongs at the top of any list and it will make my personal set list every time.

Midnight Rambler - There is zero chance that I would not include a song with Rambler in the title.  But that is not the only reason to include this one in the set.  Of all of the blues-influenced Stones’ songs, this one is my favorite.  Mick doesn’t get enough credit for his harmonica playing, and this is one of his best efforts.  This is also a great song to pick because the band will often stretch it out in concert for double-digit minutes complete with solos and tempo changes.  

Gimme Shelter - While it is an obvious choice, I am not passing on the chance to hear what may be the greatest rock-and-roll song in history.  I know that is a bold statement, but listen to the song and think about the context of the time it was released as the opening track on Let It Bleed.  1969 was an insane year and yet music was still catching up to the intensity of the social situation that was turning the world upside down.  The Stones boldly wrapped all that was going on in Vietnam and at home into a roaring and violent burst of energy for just under five minutes.  The real star of the song are the impassioned backing vocals of Merry Clayton.  I would go as far to call this a duet given how much power she adds to the arrangement.  The real trick would be to find someone to come on stage today and replicate that performance.  After thinking about it, why not have Merry come on and do it herself?  That would be something.

 Almost Hear You Sigh - Concerts typically slow it down a bit at some point, and we’ll need a little bit of a break after Gimme Shelter.  The Stones have some good ballads, but I’m reaching for this deep track from the 1989 Steel Wheels album.  I doubt many people remember this song, but go back and give it another spin.  Keith wrote this for a solo project, but it ended up going on the full band’s album, and I’m glad it did.  Unlike the Beatles, the solo work of the Rolling Stones is always suspect and this song would have been lost on any mid-80′s record Keith released on his own.  Mick’s vocals always have a depth that get lost on some of the harder rocking songs, so I love hearing some of that come through on a song like this.  It may not be the highlight for many people, but for me I would love to hear the band and their musicianship work on this one live (which to my knowledge has not been played in concert for decades).

Bittersweet Symphony - You are probably thinking I’m off my meds again because this was a song in the 90’s by The Verve.  While I understand that fact, you may be surprised to hear that the song is actually a Jagger/Richards tune. At least that’s how it turned out after a lawsuit by the Stones former manager who owned all of the rights to their pre-1970 catalog. The song’s iconic riff was sampled from an orchestral cover of the Stones 1965 hit “The Last Time”. Legal maneuvers ended up giving full credit to Jagger/Richard with the royalties going to the former manager that conned them out of their rights back in 1970. Richard Ashcroft of the Verve ended up with $1,000 and a hit that he could never really own. This past April, Mick & Keith graciously signed over their rights to Ashcroft. As a final favor for his trouble, how about the Stones play this one live so we can see what they do with it and to make Richard a bit more dough.

You Can’t Always Get What You Want - Nothing could be more true and you may be saying this to yourself after reading this post. If so, please send me your favorite selections and we’ll see how they stack up. There’s no wrong answer here, so give it a try. Because when you are picking from a catalog of the greatest Rock group of all time, the choices are endless.

Keep rockin’ boys,

Jim

[tune-collective]

Will Vance Shares Production Tips And Releases 'Dry Spell,' Final Therapeutic Single Off Of 'Days Go By' EP

Will Vance Shares Production Tips And Releases 'Dry Spell,' Final Therapeutic Single Off Of 'Days Go By' EP

Will Vance is not only premiering the final release ‘Dry Spell’ off of his new EP Days Go By, but has shared a very in-depth article to help producers improve their game. Below, Will shared 5 production elements producers should focus on to improve their renderings. You can hear Will’s latest release and his list post below. Also, check out past Will Vance posts on Tune Collective here.

https://soundcloud.com/thnktnkrecs/will-vance-days-go-by

Written by Will Vance

Chords

Chords are the backbone of the style of music I create. They are the first thing I do, and they need to be completely dialed in before moving on to the next part of the production. But having the standard I-V-vi-IV progression over four bars can get monotonous after two or three songs, so this is where I turn to the Greats to see how they work their magic.

Having a three chord progression, but holding the third chord out for an extra bar can really give the musical phrase room to breathe. It creates a sense of anticipation that draws the listener into the next section of the loop. At the same time, if gives the musical arrangement some extra space to fill with more a more complex motif or melodic fill!

Another way to spice up your chord progressions is by bumping the chords forward or backward by an 1/8th note. It leaves the chords to be played in the pocket between the kick drums, and can often give a rolling sense to the chords which by themselves might feel quite static. My favorite label to turn to for this is any producer releasing music off of Einmusika Recordings.

Arrangement of the Breakdown

I tend to produce driving melodic music that can often air on the side of the trance genre. That usually means that a massive breakdown will be an essential component of the track. They tend to be upwards of a minute or longer, and being able to maintain a sense of progression, energy, and interest throughout these more ephemeral sections can be quite tricky. Taking tips from the masters, how they use effects or how the bring elements back in, can be an essential part of creating a truly epic breakdown.One thing I always check for is how long they let the tails of the synths, effects, and reverbs drain out before even introducing the initial melodies of the breakdowns. If you have a massive drop with tons of effects and synths building out of the drop, you can easily have those tail out for eight bars or more (this alone is going to take up close to fifteen seconds of your drop, filling it with blissful goodness).

One thing I always check for is how long they let the tails of the synths, effects, and reverbs drain out before even introducing the initial melodies of the breakdowns. If you have a massive drop with tons of effects and synths building out of the drop, you can easily have those tail out for eight bars or more (this alone is going to take up close to fifteen seconds of your drop, filling it with blissful goodness).

Another takeaway you can get from referencing the pros’ arrangement is to have a better understanding of how to introduce some of the more percussive elements to the mix. The standard snare rolls do not always do the trick alongside my subtle melodies and atmospheres. So finding interesting ways to bring the top loops back in or maybe just the backbeats to establish a rhythmic sense again can do wonders in bringing back the energy during the back half of the breakdown section. It goes without saying that any Anjunabeats production will be as perfect starting point for these styles of breakdowns.

Basslines

Once I have done my chords, the next thing I do is bass line. Club music needs this backbone to be perfect, so it is always good to reference how the top-level DJs create theirs. The first thing to check is to see where you want the main focus of the listener’s attention to be. If it is going to be massive chords or complex melodies, the bass line will be rather minimal and act more to just keep the low end rolling along without distracting away from those epic synth lines. Listen to almost any record off of Lee Burridge’s label All Day I Dream, and you will see pristine examples of this.

But if it is a more hard hitting house record, chances are the melodies are acting more as support to the drums and bass of the track. These are the tunes where you can truly go wild with sound design and notation. Rolling bass lines that span the length of two octaves or more while playing every note in the scale are totally doable given that you don’t also have some focal top line playing over the bass. It is all a balance of power between the music and the groove, and having references on hand will save you so much time by not having to blindly shoot in the dark.

An amazing trick I have picked up by listening to Yotto’s records is how he often has two basslines going. The first is a low-lying syncopated sub-bass that rolls along to keep the groove. The second is paired with an utterly massive Moog-sounding synth that absolutely smacks you in the face. The two paired together creates a phenomenal low end that lights any dance floor on fire. I have used this trick to great effect in a couple of my tunes, and it works wonders.

Extending Simple Ideas into Drawn out Songs

If you say you never struggle getting past the loop phase, you’re a liar. We slave away getting the perfect chords together to pair with this wicked bass line, and then dazzle the high end with dancing arpeggiators and heavy pads. . . but then what? We know the common trick of stealing the structures of our favorite songs, but you can do more than just that having your drop be at the same place as Martin Garrix’s, or having a minute long intro just like your favorite song.

Listen to your reference songs very very closing, and see exactly how they are using the instrumentation to create a sense of seamless progression. A trick that I like to do is after the intro is all fleshed out, bringing the full bass in with all the filters open, but only playing the first note of the entire sequence. This saves the full notation for when I want the peak section of the song to b, while still starting off the song with a bang (kind of similar to how all your favorite action movies start off with a car chase or gun fight to really lock in your attention). The song Alcine by the artist Clavis does this phenomenally and is one of the best club records I have heard in a while. A small blip-like arpeggiator beings opening up fairly early in the song, and the envelopes continue to build the sound all throughout the intro growing bigger and bigger effectively turning a simple sawtooth arp line into almost two minutes of attention for the listener before the bass line even considers being introduced.

You can see in the screenshot included how I have almost one sustained bass note playing all throughout, and then when the hook comes in the bass begins to play the entire phrase. By the time the listener even has the opportunity to hear the entire phrasing of the song, I’ve sucked them into almost two minutes of introductory ideas while I was building up that suspense.

To accompany this post, I have included a handful of some of my favorite tracks that I use as references to pick ideas from. Listen to this playlist while you’re reading this post, and refer to some of my favorite elements in each tune to see exactly how I actively listen to music to gain new ideas.

1) Just Her- Let Myself Go: Overall the drum kit in this track in beyond compare. It is punchy and cohesive, and I could listen to just the percussions forever. I could easily see myself taking elements from the shuffle hats and the chugging tom patterns to use in my own tunes.

2) Thomas Schwartz and Fausto Canizza – Rae: Two things stand out in this song. First is the tom patterns and how they pan between the speakers that crate and interesting sequence that stands out while mixing into this tune during a set. The second is the use of two bass lines. They have a more ambient sustained bass that sounds very very Anjunadeep-like, then they have a shorter midrange bass that plays a more aggressive sequence.

3) Clavis – Alcine: As discussed in the post, I love how this song takes simple ideas and develops them over a longer period of time. The art starts as a small blip and works into a full melody. Another thing to note is the contrast between sections, the arpeggiators and drums are more straight forward and easy listening, then the bass line comes in with an obscene amount of energy.

5) Yotto – Personal Space: Again as stated in the post, the use of a sub bass and mid range bass truly has a chance to shine. Also, pay attention to the pairing of the melodies against the bass line. The chords are straightforward enough to where they don’t distract at all from the two bass lines that are playing.

6) Jynx – Calm Mind: This old school vibe of the drums is my go to reference for that old school vibe and bouncing house pattern. I think they used old hip-hop samples for their drums to achieve that vinyl sampled sound. Plus the use of those vocal chops are insane, bravo guys.

7) Amtrac – Renton: I use a ton of vocal bits in my tunes, so I am always looking for good ways to use vocal hits and bits creatively. This is a perfect example of this, but done in a way I think is incredible.

8) Moby – Natural Blues (Kidnap Kid Remix): The use of the short “ooh” sample as a small hook is a great way to add a small blip that your dance floor can latch on to and draw them into the next bar of the beat. It doesn’t have to be a vocal sample, but any element that can fulfill this same purpose is a handy trick to have up your sleeve.

9) MOHN -The Night (Deep Mix) : Always an avid fan of humanized elements in songs, the fact that they used laughter samples as a melodic fill in between sections in quite clever. Try checking out FreeSounds.Org for a whole library of open-sourced sound bites to use in similar ways.

10) Eli & Fur – Hold Me Down: One of the biggest techno tunes of the year thus far, this is another good reference for drum programming. They have a midrange percussion pattern that plays a call and response throughout the entire tune. It is unique enough to stand out as it is being mixed into a DJ set, and the second you hear it coming up you know that Eli & Fur is being brought into the mix.

11) Lane 8 – Midnight: This is a perfect reference on how to get a lot out of a little. The piano chords and arpeggiator are the main components of this track, and Lane 8 gets so much mileage out of them. Also note how the bass line is very simple, just a sub bass rolling along so that no attention at all is detracted from those chords and arms.

12) Lane 8 – Diamonds: This song is a great way to see how to work small and intricate details into the song, especially in terms of melodies. Every few bars, Lane 8 wiggles in a small bubbling rift that connects different sections and washes over the transitions.

Production craft is everything when making electronic music. Shoutout to Will Vance for taking the time here. If this type of content is up your alley, check out Point Blank Music School and the professional, educational offerings they have on their website.

Follow Will Vance: SoundCloud | Facebook

http://tunecollective.com/2017/03/10/will-vance-point-blank-music-school-dry-spell/