#and I constantly had to argue with my fmaily about politics etc when they’re ere in their super far right era | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aemiron-main · 2 years

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my gay mike analysis is like a son to me. I know I sound like a conceited little idiot man and keep hyping it up and I PROMISE I’m trying to finish it as fast as possible but i love it and makes me emotional because

a.) Mike ily and people around you love you and oh my god you have so many internal issues I just want you to be happy

b.) look at me now!! went from thinking 2 years ago that I’d have to be straight/pretend to be straight forever, barely knowing a single thing about sexuality or gender, now having realized a lot of things about myself in those regards and using my skills to analyze those topics in-depth!! it makes me happy ok!!

#it’s weird because i grew up with a fair bit of internalized transphobia #partially because people around me seemed to treat people as dumb/inept as soon as they found out they were trans #and my intelligence was always tied to being the perfect functional straight a’s daughter tm #and I constantly had to argue with my fmaily about politics etc when they’re ere in their super far right era #and so I knew that if I came out as any form of queer #they would immediately stop taking me seriously and I wouldn’t be able to change their minds about the rightwing bs #and it took 3+ years of harsh fighting and just awfulness all around but I eventually got through to them #and kudos to them of course for being willing to change to an extent even though I’m still not out as a trans #bc I’m still wary of how it would go #but like. when I was in highschool our premier was waging a social war on lgbtq people as a whole #but specifically trans people and my parents got very pulled into it and I internalized a lot of it and felt as if #being trans/wanting to be a guy was tied to a horrible part of me and that I would be throwing away any intelligence I had and just so much #stupid shit plus knowing that I’d never be able to convince my parents to get away from the rightwing bs if they had even a hint of #me being any sort of queer so it’s like me being queer was always tied to being used to invalidate my intelligence #that’s what I’m trying to say in this ramble ^#but now here I am!! Using my brain to write about queer stuff #and not to sound conceited like I’m not the smartest person ever by any means I am #SO dumb in SO many areas seriously but it’s like. being queer doesn’t take away from #my ability to be smart yknow?? and that was something that was really embedded into me in addition to some other bs #my intelligence stopped existing the moment people realized I was queer like if my parents had known I was queer at the time #they would’ve used it to further the claim that I was delusional and naive and had no idea what I was talking about with politics #and that my ideas simply had less worth because of WHO I was #rather than the ideas themselves #so anyway I just. it’s so Nice to be using my brain To write about queer stuff yknow?????#me trying to convince my parents that trans people deserved human rights but they only listened to me BECAUSE they thought I was cis #and even then it took 3 years and a fuckton of other big factors

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