#and I don't want to burden anyone here at school with my problems. that's self-seeking isn't it? and it's not fair to expect other people t

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

...

[tosteur-gluteal]

(vent? Idk I should probably just journal and keep all of this for myself but I can't trust my relatives concerning privacy)

CW: mention of mild eating disorder and people not being very nice (s*cide invitation)

This year I've become even more comfortable sharing how I feel with my friends, IRL and online, and it really helped me being less anxious and more like myself. Because I had a terrible experience in middle school with being my energetic, and yeah, kind of loud self in front of the other kids, I got put aside very quickly and people would just talk behind my back, some straight up telling me to kms aha yayyyy

So first year of highschool was me being extremely anxious and I would get constantly sick because of how uneasy I felt in that environment (private school and in elite class) but then I made friends, second year started out very badly because I felt like a failure for not being able to enter that elite class that year. My grades went lower and lower (and I used to be a top student) but I discovered what it's like to be in a friend group that is a safe place. Yeah I got some severe anxiety problems (me not being able to deal with my feelings correctly aka me being a disaster bi and when I crush on someone I crush hard until it's unhealthy like fr I would feel extremely bad all the time) but it got better (bro discovered communication, yeah I got rejected but it felt somehow good to just, talk 🤯🤯🤯🤯) and later during that year I began to become the person that I used to be, an overall happy person, kind of childish at times, I wasn't afraid to be perceived as weird because I was in a safe place 😎💥💥

Until I got into some...problems with a formal online friends, and it impacted my health very badly (some troubles eating yay) and at some point, for the longest time and even today, I would just not be vocal about feeling bad anymore. I feel like a burden again and that I should always display happy behaviours. And I even toned them down fearing that people think I'm annoying or distressing. Heck I got called a guiltripper when I was vocal about not feeling okay (I didn't even blame anyone for that, apparently the person told me that was attention seeking behaviour, that I should focus on fixing my problems myself ect.) I won't go into details for what happened but yeah, today is one of the bad ones 💥 staying at home is draining, and my friends aren't available for the moment, but I just don't have the motivation to put a foot outside. I just draw all day until exhaustion just for the sake of it. It's a short term solution, honestly I'm just waiting for school to start now to meet with my friends again

I'm probably not going to make any more vent post because I want to share what makes me happy here aaaa

[machifuwa]

- Sunshine - Sunny Side Prologue

Mid-July. At The Seisoukan

Tsukasa: Thanks for waiting, Kanzaki-senpai and Otogari-senpai.

Souma: Thank you ...Umu, it is really good.

Adonis: Yeah, it's delicious with just the right amount of bitterness. I'm not familiar with tea, so I can't tell the difference in detail.

But since Kanzaki praised you, you're definitely good at it.

Tsukasa: Thank you... I never thought the day would come when I would be able to serve tea in such a casual way.

For me, this is a big improvement on my tea serving skills.

Adonis: Come to think of it, Kanzaki held a tea party once to recruit more people for the circle. He told me that you were in charge of it.

Tsukasa: Yes. As a member of a military family, I have had all the training in the arts that I need to acquire.

Tea serving and horsemanship are the two things I'm learning right now. I wasn't able to learn these two since I was so busy with other things before I joined Yumenosaki.

I'm really glad that my skills are still with me.

Adonis: Fumu. You're exactly the kind of man Kanzaki needs.

Tsukasa: Need? Me?

Souma: Nowadays we call tea ceremonies a part of a "saakuru", but in the beginning it was intended to be a gathering for the love and mastery of all aspects of Japanese culture.

However, when Lord Adonis pointed out to me that this would make me feel too different from the others, I decided to focus on the tea ceremony for now.

But we did not want only experienced people. Those who know the way and those who seek to know the way are equally comrades.

I hope we can work together to spread our love for Japanese culture.

Tsukasa: Fufu, you're right. Also, I don't know if it's because of his busy schedule but Mikejima-senpai rarely joins our activities nowadays.

As a member of this Circle myself, I will do my best to help expand the circle.

...By the way, Otogari-senpai. You have been glancing at me for a while now. Is there something on my face?

Adonis: Sorry about that, you just looked like you're in some kind of trouble so I was just checking up on you.

Tsukasa: Trouble...?

Souma: Fumu, I see that you have noticed it too, Lord Adonis. Actually, I felt the same.

You already calmed down when you were serving us tea but when we came into this room, you looked very tired.

I did not dare to say anything because you were taking care of us properly. But now that Lord Adonis has mentioned it, there is no need to hold back.

I would like you to tell us what is troubling you. Since ancient times, tea rooms had always been a place for secret talks. We swear not to tell anyone what we hear here.

Adonis: Yeah, we'll keep your secret.

Is it because of the incident in the [Tanabata Festival] the other day?

Tsukasa: No need to worry. We have resolved that issue.

Perhaps our protests have been tolerated, since the newcomers are now being treated better than before.

However, we have yet to make their presence felt on the school. It's still better than being treated coldly, like a ghost, though.

Popularity and ability are not acquired overnight after all. We will continue to protect them so that they become a valuable weapon for the school someday.

The only problem is my seniors. Thankfully, from time to time, I receive messages saying, "These five guys can do it."

Thanks to my seniors who are living abroad, we are unable to make quick decisions, and we often end up putting things aside.

Although it is helpful that they can come back to Japan more often now, I always hear from them at the last minute.

When I think about the fact that they're no longer living in Japan, I just keep remembering how hard it is to do all these things alone.

My job as a "King" is not being shown properly at all.

Luckily, Oneeー The Producer has been helping me out, I don't want to be a burden for her though, since she also has a lot of work to do.

But, I know that I can't control all of this alone... My inexperienced self makes it even harder...

Souma: Fumu... I understand your impatience to deal with the situation alone, but if you end up in a situation where you struggle alone, you will end up losing everything.

Why not create an opportunity to get together with everyone in your "yunitto" and talk about your problems?

Adonis: Kanzaki's right. I don't know the rules of you "Knights", but I'm sure you guys are not that heartless as to put the entire burden on you alone.

They're still your friends who have helped you and overcome challenges together. When you're in trouble, you should be able to rely on them.

Tsukasa: ...You're right, if I'm the one in the other position, I'll definitely tell my friend "Why didn't you ask for my help in the first place!?"

I will try to discuss this with everyone. Thank you to you both.

After a while

Tsukasa: (After this, I will record on a Radio program. As soon as it's over, I'm going back to the office for a meeting...)

(I can't find the perfect Timing to tell everyone in "Knights" that I have something important to tell them.)

(Messaging them through "Hold Hands" is the quickest way to do it, but they'll definitely think that it's a very serious matter.)

(Should I call them now? First of all, Leo-san who's very hard to reachー)

(...No, no, maybe I should call Sena-senpai first, who's a better senior and he lives with Leo-san anyways.)

………

Hmm... He's not answering, maybe he's busy.

(Sigh... I had forgotten about the time difference. It's still early in the morning over there, so it's no wonder he won't pick up.)

(Aah, he's calling me back. He's definitely going to scold me as soon as I answer it...)

Izumi: "Hello, it's me."

Tsukasa: I am very sorry! I didn't mean to call you this early! I forgot about the time difference, I called you without thinking it through!

Izumi: "Haa? What's with you all of a sudden?"

Tsukasa: I'm such a bad person, calling you so early in the morning...

Izumi: "Ah... that. Yeah, hooooow annoying."

"But what can we do? If you're just gonna think about the time difference, we won't get anywhere."

"If it was a prank, I'd be angry, but you called me because you had something to say, right? What is it?"

Tsukasa: But...

Izumi: "Just get on with it. If you hang up now, I won't be able to sleep because I'd be worried sick about what you had to say."

< PROLOGUE END >

Story: "Summer Breeze!" [Sunshine Shimmering in a Foreign Land]

Story by: ゆーます

Collaborator: 日日日

Season: Summer

Characters in this Episode: Tsukasa, Souma, Adonis, Izumi

Mentioned Characters: Madara, Leo

Reminder: I did not create this story, but I translated it, so please refrain from reposting my translation on other social media platforms.

I apologize if there are any mistakes as well.

(All - Next) Thank you for reading!