#and I know it's not the algorithm clocking me bc I can tell when they do that. but I hate hate hate pimple popping videos

[sergle]

FOREWARNING FOR GROSS-OUT SKIN CLOSEUP SHIT DON'T YELL AT ME FOR SHOWING YOU has anyone else gotten this really weird phenomenon on youtube. I swear every algorithm on every website is actively and purposely worse now. Where you'll be scrolling through vids after searching for something (I was looking at crochet stuff) and SANDWICHED IN THE MIDDLE OF ACTUAL SEARCH RESULTS... YOU KNOW. LIKE THINGS RELEVANT TO THE KEYWORDS I TYPED

are a couple of completely out of left field SHOCK VALUE VIDS. like to intentionally be alarming. drama vids and things you're enticed to click on bc they're upsetting, and deep deep closeups on zits. what the fuck is going on. Sandwiched between videos about GRANNY SQUARES. crack? is it crack we're smoking????

[mick-fly]

extremely extremely banal rant below

⚠️WARNING: DO NOT PROCEED⚠️

the adoption of blåhaj being adapted into trans iconography fucking turns my stomach. a few months before i met my girlfriend in 2018, they picked one up at IKEA for a couple bucks. it was actually an impulsive gift purchase from their sweet sweet roommate Bri when they were buying cheap furniture for their first non-university housing unit together. that thing has come with them through four different living situations since and its awesome. we played this really dumb game for a few months where we would toss or BONK each other with it and say BLA HAJJJJ !!!! for the simple purpose of making the other one smile. sometimes when i sleep in their bed i use it as a pillow bc honestly, it’s a pretty solid pillow or hug thing. it’s gonna come with us to california and we’re probably gonna have it until it straight up disintegrates.

fast forward to the last year, ive seen a handful of my trans peers buy them too, and internally i was like hey, we got the same stuffy !

i checked the website this morning and they’re thirty fucking dollars now. a near 600% price increase on a stuffed shark.

blåhaj had memes about it. it went from a literal childrens toy to a must-have for impressionable trans youth. and the thing that sickens me is that i get the sense that they’re now bought for the sole purpose of posting that you have one. it’s a social media prop. and that’s it

the trans community is growing, it’s making leaps and bounds in this country from even 10 years ago when fucking gay marriage wasnt even a human right. and that makes me so happy.

the sinister side is that corporations have their finger on the pulse of social media and when a new meme is born, they are going to be literally less than 12 hours behind from somehow trying to somehow make profit on it. don’t believe me? look at any corpo twitter account and one in three posts are now-extinct meme references that were created with almost no effort just to game the algorithms (which are already heavily bankrolled to get their content in front of you) which are forgotten within 48 hours.

ikea is not your friend. their particle-board furniture is specifically designed not to last, and the driving reason behind success is because there is quite literally not cheaper furniture out there, and young people both don’t have the luxury of investing into sturdier furniture pieces combined with the fact that we’ve literally never bought furniture before and don’t know what to look for. im going to link as many articles about their shady business practices as i can at the end.

we are not a demographic to be marketed and pandered to. it reeks of corporate social media adopting a rainbow icon for pride and then immediately getting rid of it when the clock strikes midnight on July 1st. in capitalism there is simply no reason for these companies not to make the most profitable move at all times according to their marketing research and it just breaks my heart. for young transgender individuals to gain even the slightest modicum of validation by swiping the fucking credit card.

if you have already bought a blåhaj, there is no reason not to squeeze it tight and love the shit out of it. but the instant a worm enters your brain that tells you about the next awesome Transgender Product™️ you gotta have, pull it out and stomp on it. we are more than numbers going up for a soulless company.

[thesquareinthecircularhole]

hey stupid, i love you [MCYT: Dream x GN!Reader]

song: hey stupid I love you by jp saxe

warnings: fluff

im pretty sure i made this an gender neutral as possible but if there is an error lmk thanks bby :*

im in a simpin mood bby

as always, song lyrics in italics

i skipped a couple versus due to repetitiveness oops

this is the one i complained about losing, but it actually worked out bc i like this one better...less wordy

word count: ~2k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nothing's wrong, and it's not what I'm used to Oh, does it surprise you too? When it's simple, is it easier than it should be?

"Hey babe, are you okay? You've been quiet today," Dream practically pouted as he asked you. He loved the sound of your voice and while you definitely weren't giving him the quiet treatment, you sure weren't as talkative as you normally are.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just distracted thinking my thoughts." You smiled at him and leaned against him. He looked down at you and pecked your lips. You gave him a sweet kiss back. The smile he gave you made your heart boom. Loving him was as easy as eating a cake (because the usually analogy 'baking a cake' isn't true, its sometimes hard to bake a cake, especially when a hungry streamer keeps trying to eat the batter or start a flour fight).

"Anyway, don't you have a stream with the Dream Team to get ready for? One that starts in," you look at the clock on your phone, "three minutes ago?" The slight panic that crosses Dream's face makes you laugh loud. He gives you another kiss and in less than five seconds has practically launched himself across the house into his recording room. Your laughter follows him the whole way, a smile and blush upon his face.

Nothing's wrong, but when you're not in my arms I send voice notes, you send hearts And get quiet, and I know that means you miss me

Okay, granted, you were the one to remind him that he was streaming with his friends today and speedrunning, but you didn't expect it to last well over five hours. At the beginning you worked on your classwork for your [college degree of choice]. You got it done quickly, as it was nearing the end of the semester and most professors of yours were laidback and wanted you to study more than write nonsense papers (fictional you, i'm so jealous). Occasionally you would jump in fear when you heard Dream shout, still not used to it after years.

After finishing your classwork, you started cooking dinner. Soup was the vibe for the evening, and you had found a wonderful chicken and dumplings recipe a while ago that you wanted to try. You did have to go to the store for some of the ingredients, but luckily it only took you an hour. You can back and he was still streaming. It took about another hour for dinner to be done. You let it cool and prepared yourself a bowl. You set your laptop up and started watching Dream's stream. Hearing his voice made you miss him, so you pulled out your phone.

Going to the two of y'alls messages, you started making him a voice message.

"Hey baby, I made dinner, so don't play so long it gets cold. I love you! Kick the enderdragon's ass baby! Mwah."

You continued watching him stream, and he took a pause for a minute, his screen not moving from the create a new world screen and his mic muted. A couple seconds later you got spammed with every heart offered in the emoji index times what felt like a thousand.

He continued being quiet for a couple seconds, although he did unmute and continue playing, answering George's and Sapnap's questions of where he went with, "I had to take a message."

You're jealous, you shouldn't be I want you obsessively But I know how complicated it can get When you're not in front of me I know insecurities get in your head

Chat sometimes upset you. Sure, you got Dream, all of him, but sometimes the comments made by some of the more obsessives fans were a bit to much.

'With the way he killed those mobs you know he's got good fingers'

'His voice is hot so he must be'

'Heyo dream baby lemme see them feet'

Okay the last one was more weird, and actually turned out to be a joke from Quackity but anyway moving on.

He was your guy, and he promised himself to you, but sometimes he seemed to have a genuine connection with some of the sweeter and not gross ones. It made you scared that someone, one day, will swoop him off his feet with a comment and he’d leave you for them. 

But I'm not gonna interrupt if you need to talk about it Roll my eyes, get offended by the way you doubt it You know you're mine, you just forget sometimes So promise me you won’t And you know I'll remind you when you think I don't

The stream ended a little under an hour later. Dream left his recording room, grabbed a bowl of soup, and found you in the living room, lost in thought. He plopped down right next to you. 

“Talk to me baby.”

“About what?”

“Anything and everything.”

“Okay.” You’re quiet for a bit, despite his offering of listening. He knew you were gonna take him up on the offer, you just needed a bit of time, so he was going to wait patiently. He finished his soup quickly, he was much hungrier than he thought. He put the bowl on the coffee table and before he was all the way leaned back on the couch, you were leaning against him. His arms wrapped around you, your head was tucked in between his head and shoulder, and a blanket covered the both of you. You looked towards the blank tv screen but felt his eyes on you.

“I love you a lot. And I know you love me too, but I’m afraid I’m not enough. You have so many options, especially with your popularity online. I don’t know what I’d do if you left me, whether it be for someone else or just because you’re tired of me.” Dream waits for you to stop entirely, with you breathing heavily.

“Well, you’re right about one thing. I do love you, a lot. The rest of it is wrong and I’ll spend the rest of time telling you so.” Dream says, pressing several kisses against your forehead. 

“Yeah I know it’s stupid to feel this way, but my anxiety gets the best of me. It’s stupid, I’m stupid.”

“First of all, you’re not stupid. Second, hey stupid, I love you.”

Nothing's wrong, I just get in my head too Can you reassure me you, you're still in it? I just wish you could lean in and kiss me

As much as Dream loved you and reassured you, sometimes he would get caught up in his thoughts too. The life of a streamer/youtuber, especially one with as much fame and subscribers as him, was rough. The constant need to feed his fans with entertainment and content, and the need for the content to satisfy his fans was stressful. He hates to admit it, but he some days he spent to much time working and not enough with you. He thinks you would be so much happier with someone without a tight schedule and without a large, intense fanbase. Any random person on the street would be better for you than him, he thinks. 

When he gets into this headspace, the only thing that grounds him is your lips on his. When you kiss him, the clouds go away and all he can see is your eyes, as bright as the sun, and your smile, which can tempt even the purest. 

Say nothing's wrong, tell me to settle down You do it better than I've ever known how Won't pull some tricks for attention But could I get a little now?

Now, everyone knows that Dream likes some attention. He especially likes attention from you. Good thing is you also like attention, especially from him. The not so good thing is both of y’all get distracted so bad, it’s almost too funny.

He tends to get your attention by tickling you, whether it be in the comfort of your home or in public. One day, when you guys were walking through town, you stopped at a flower booth and got to talking with the friendly and flirty florist gentleman. It had been a couple minutes, and Dream was really needing some love, but you continued chatting with the florist who was definitely going to ask for your number but you genuinely thought he was just being nice. Dream crept up behind you and placed his hands on your side. You froze for a moment and looked at him, confused. The smirk that crossed his face barely gave you a second to prepare as he tickled your sides. Your laughter filled the street as you turned around as he tickled you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, which got him to stop ticking you, and gave him a kiss. The two of you continued on your way, attached at the hip.

And one day, when you wanted his attention, it was after he was done recording a manhunt with his friends. The actual video had been done for a bit, but they were just fucking around in the minecraft world and talking to each other. You had had a not so nice day, and wanted the crushing weight of your boyfriend on top of you. You crept into his recording room and came to stand right behind his chair. Based on the conversation you could tell he wasn’t recording anymore, so you knew it was safe. Your hands started in his hair, trailed down to his face, and slid down his body till your arms were wrapped around him snuggly. Your head was placed on top of his. 

“What are you doing?” he asked, and received no response. Instead, you began aggressively shaking him and the chair, turning it this way and that, making him slightly dizzy. His laughter filled the room, and he quickly ended the call. The two of you spent the next 12 hours cuddled in bed, leaving only for the necessities. 

You're jealous, you shouldn't be I want you obsessively But I know how complicated it can get When you're not in front of me I know insecurities get in your head

Dream got jealous as well sometimes. You were beautiful and a lot of the time attracted the attention of random passerbyers. Those people, who you don’t even know, who lived normal lives where they didn’t have to spend every second worried that their face will be revealed to the public and suddenly all their fans from around the world will know what they look like or the general area in which they live, who don’t have to obey algorithms and bend to the will of the masses to make sure they get paid enough to live, who could give you a normal and safe life. Every time one looked at you with some attraction, he pulled you a bit closer and kissed you a bit harder. 

But I'm not gonna interrupt if you need to talk about it Roll my eyes or get offended by the way you doubt it You know you're mine, you just forget sometimes So promise me you won’t And you know I'll remind you when you think I don't

Sometimes, Dream needed to rant. A long, hard, intense, rant. Sometimes it was about how someone accused him of cheating his speedruns. Sometimes it was about how someone said something nasty to him or one of his friends. Sometimes it was about a comment someone made about him or you that got on his nerves. When he needed to talk, you sat there and you listened. You did whatever he needed to get better, whether it was just listen or talk to find solutions. You did it because you know he would do the same for you. And afterwards, a cuddle session was a must. 

How could you forget? I told you seventeen times before 7 AM I love you How could you forget? I told you seventeen times

The morning after rough days were one of the bests. Arms tangled together, legs tangled together, everything tangled together, no one able to tell where one started and the other ended. Lazy kisses pressed to faces, hands, necks, any part of skin the lips could touch. One particular morning you woke up earlier than he did. A quick kiss against his cheek woke him up, and he gave you the most love filled smile any man could do.

“Hey stupid,” you said, “I love you.”

[thelowlysatsuma]

Sherlock AU

okay, so i got some amazing reactions to my logicality-and-sherlock post, and some people seemingly interested in my making of a bbc sherlock au, so here we go! in my mind, this au starts of mostly canon-compliant and then diverges – not only to comply with ships, but also because seeing as this is indeed an au, i feel an obligation to myself to make everyone as in-character as possible.

with that out of the way: happy reading!

patton h. watson is possibly, maybe, potentially having a little bit of a bad day. week. month. year. you decide.

he had the nightmares again. they come nearly every night nowadays, and he figures he probably should have known he was signing up for war flashbacks when he decided to become... well... an army doctor

he sees his therapist. and sure, maybe he hasn’t written anything in his blog, and sure, maybe he reads her handwriting upside down, but he can’t help it!

(honestly? patton doesn’t know what he’s doing anymore. he had such a strong love for his time as a doctor that now he’s just.. not sure what to do. he can’t help people anymore. not in his condition)

but he tries to write on his blog anyway, and he keeps moving through his day-to-day activities, and he smiles, because darn it, he’s patton watson, and that’s what he does.

except for one fateful day, when he hears a familiar voice calling out his name

and it’s thomas sanders – sweet, lovely thomas who he went to school with. and he smiles for real this time and they catch up, and patton mentions that he may or may not be a bit stuck in his whole housing situation

and thomas just laughs, because oh, oh now he has an idea, and this could either work out great for all parties involved or be absolutely hilarious

so patton follows him

enter logan holmes

genius

detective

bit of an asshole, really

and the minute he sees patton shuffle into his lab behind thomas, he knows exactly where this is going, and he has no idea if he’s partial to the plan or not

but then patton lends him his phone, and patton doesn’t get angry when he reads his life story like a newspaper unfolding in front of him, and patton looks at him like he’s incredible, and suddenly, this doesn’t seem like such a bad idea after all

and really, that’s how everything sets itself into motion, now isn’t it?

so yeah, the set-up is basically the same. patton is an ex-army doctor who’s masking at least a bit of his trauma with his bubbly persona. logan is an abrasive genius who will honestly follow his shorter counterpart around like a lost puppy at the first sign of *shudder* emotions. and thomas is the little shit disturber who thinks that stuffing the two of them in a flat has even the slightest chance in hell of working out.

of course, he’s absolutely right, but don’t tell him that.

time now to introduce some of our other players:

mr picani, the cheery landlord of 221b baker st. he loves logan dearly, and treats him like a grandson. absolutely thrilled when logan brings patton with him – “oh, i can see your fusion already!”. logan is Not Amused, and poor patton just doesn’t know what’s going on.

detective inspector prince, the long-suffering idiot who’s somehow gotten stuck with an overly intelligent dumbass as his number one asset. well-liked around the yard for being an... animated, shall we say, character (as well as a damn flirt to many a man he meets), he’s the only one who really knows how to deal with logan’s eccentricities, and while he may not be on par with the younger man in terms of intelligence, he can and will match him blow for blow in a match of verbal wits. while at first confused by patton’s presence (and logan’s apparent protection of him), he quickly accepts the other as the half of the bonafide dynamic duo he is. (and if he and patton become friends, off the clock? well, that’s not exactly the yard’s business, now is it?)

remy, the shade-rocking assistant to... someone who patton meets in a limo when he gets “offered a deal by an interested party”. glued to his phone, super freaking sketchy, and somehow able to exude sass with a single raise of an eyebrow. that man is impressive.

of course, we all know there are a few people i’m leaving out.

meet virgil holmes. a damn genius, but his aggressive brand of caution tends to get the better of him. as logan’s older brother, he is constantly worrying about him and what might happen to him because of the dumbass shit he constantly gets up to, but also as logan’s older brother (and an emotionally closed-off idiot), he knows full well that logan will never actually listen to anything he says. so, he settles for keeping a (constant) eye on the guy. logan can’t get pushed off a bridge if virgil hires someone to discreetly tie a bungee harness onto him first.

so yeah anyways virgil is... interested, to say the least, when, within the span of a day, logan has not only met some guy but begun living with him

he’s admittedly impressed by not only patton’s clear horror when virgil suggests he spy on logan for him, but also patton’s unfailing (and genuine) politesse throughout their conversation. it’s... refreshing.

oh, he’ll definitely be keeping an eye on the two of them, now

and finally, the one we know only as “moriarty”

the snake, they call him, and from that, you ought to know who our favourite campy, volatile, deceptively charming man of dangerous intellect is

as time progresses, so does the relationship of the detective and the doctor. logan grounds patton, keeps his head out of the (sometimes nightmarish) clouds. patton, in turn, helps logan to realize that emotional intelligence is not only valuable from a deductive standpoint, but also a good thing to have for oneself. they... balance each other out, if you will. the heart and the mind.

(and if patton stares at logan in unadulterated awe after an explanation of a successful deduction? if logan looks in the mirror one relatively quiet afternoon only to find himself staring in the face of shallow breathing and dilated pupils? if, after a particularly brutal case, patton falls asleep on logan’s shoulder, and the next day logan receives a smug picture of it over a text from his absolutely infuriating brother?)

(well, then that’s nobody’s business but their own)

tagging those who said they were interested, those who thoroughly enjoyed my first logicality/sherlock post, and those who are my mutuals, because i damn well can

@murder-schmurder @anony-phangirl @nyah-nyah-motherfuckers @gravity-defys-me @not-a-clever-username @residentanchor @pastelvirgil @intergalacticplatypus @figurative-chill-pill @iassureyouicannotwrite @phangirlandkilljoy @book-girl101 @wildheart49 @lacrimosathedark @cloudchaser7 @khadij-al-kubra @marse-422 @virgilisaneternalmood @coconut-cluster @adultmorelikeadolt @hallowlesterrr

(aha reposting bc i’m not sure if the people i tagged under the cut saw this? bc i am a small child unaware of how the tumblr algorithms work. sorry for anyone who sees this again!)