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kiribakuhappiness · 3 years

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How do you deal with the hate comments you get?? (Not that I think the last ask was particularly hate or anything) but I never see hate stuff on your blog or in your comment sections either. I feel like I see tend to get them a lot abd sometimes I don't know how to handle them :( love your work!!! Sorry if this is rude to ask...

Not rude at all - but there's a lot to unpack here, so I’m really sorry if I ramble or go off on a few tangents in my answer!

The short answer is: I don't deal with hate comments.

The medium answer is: It depends on the type of 'hate' that I’m receiving.

The longer answer is this:

I have been really lucky (I think) to have been able to grow a little community on this blog of similar, like-minded people who enjoy the same things that I do (Tsundere characters, characters that can help show more representation in the Alphabet Mafia community, dumb boys who deserve to just be dumb boys, etc). I've rarely received any hate comments since my time here on Tumblr, and I think there's a lot of reasons for this.

1.) If someone comes rearing into my Ask box just LOOKING for a fight (ie, random death threats from Anons, homophobic comments, an obvious attempt to bait me into some kind of long-winded debate, etc) I simply just do not deal with it. Those people (especially Anons) are just looking for a reaction out of you. They want you to get upset, to post some long rambling defense, to be snarky and rude back to them, that's what they want.

But at the end of the day, I don't owe any of them a response. Hell, I don't owe anyone a response if I don't want to answer something.

But I answer Asks because I like talking with people, and getting all amped up and excited over the same things, that's part of the fun of creating and sharing that creative work online and being an active part of the fandom. I LOVE hearing from the people that follow this blog (even if I don't always get the chance to respond to all of them) because I know that they're happy or excited enough to hit that Ask button and send me a message, and that makes me feel good to know that I was able to get them so pumped up!

But those Anons aren't looking for that kind of connection. Most of the time, they’re not even looking to have a mature discussion, even if that’s how they come across at first. They're looking to hurt. To ridicule and make fun of, to make me and my followers feel bad or low. And, most of the time, the people who are sending that hate are young. So young. Like... way younger than what you might be picturing in your head right now.

So when I get the really bad hate - the hate that makes your skin feel hot, the hate that spikes your blood pressure, the hate that makes you start typing in a blind rage because you want to hurt them just as much as they've just hurt you - then they've already won. And I'll be damned if I let myself be led by the hand right into a losing battle.

So I simply do not engage. I don't reply with some snarky comment thinking I'm oh-so clever, I don’t reply in a holier-than-thou manner because I think I’m just so much better than them, and I don't reply with a long rambling post about why they're wrong and why they're childish and why they're hateful because that in itself is a hateful act, and I have far more important things to be spending my time and my energy on than fighting with a random on the internet and fueling that (quite frankly, pointless) hatred.

When I don't respond, the anon grows bored. Why send hateful things into someone's Asks if they aren’t even going to showcase it to all of their loyal followers? The reason you don't see hate on this blog is because I simply do not allow them to sink their roots into this soil. I pull them out like weeds and refuse to let them grow here.

I also don't respond because, while I may be able to take a death threat or a homophobic slur with gritted teeth and a roll of the eyes and keep on going about my day, some of my followers may not be mentally or psychologically equipped to see such rude backlash. They range from pre-teens to adults, and when they choose to follow me and my blog, I see it as a responsibility on my end to shield them from that unnecessary hatred. There's no need for them to see such toxicity, and so I act as a stubborn guard blocking the front gates. This temple is for relaxation, for laughter and excitement and love, and I'll protect it until the day that I decide to send that last post and go off to do something else with my life.

2.) Another reason that I believe that I don’t get much hate on this blog is because I don’t cross-platform my content. Does this lower the visibility of my work? Sure. I don’t have a Twitter, or a Youtube, or a TikTok, or an Instagram. This blog is just that - this blog on Tumblr, with a link to my AO3 for my writing. And while that limits my audience and perhaps bottlenecks my views, the safeguard it brings from distancing from toxic mindsets that tend to leak into the more problematic social media sites is well worth it, in my opinion.

I don’t write these stories for kudos and hits. I don’t write these stories to push out as much content as possible, to gain a following as quickly as I can, to reach the entirety of the fandom. I don’t want that. I want to write stories to get better at writing, I want to write about the boys because I crave more gay representation and quite frankly I am obsessed with Bakugou as a character and how much fun it is to write from a Tsundere mindset.

If other people happen to find my work and they like it too, then that’s so awesome! But the extent of my dedication to this blog is just that, my own dedication to something I love and something that brings me joy.

3.) The final reason that I think why I don’t get a lot of hate comments or hurtful asks is because I put a lot of pride and effort into my fics. When I write a piece of work that contains heavy levels of smut, I work really hard to make them realistic, to make the characters motives and emotions clear and concise, to showcase a healthy depiction of what it means to be sexually attracted to and/or engage in sexual activity with someone that a person cares very deeply about.

I see a lot of smut centered around the bnha fandom, and there’s nothing particularly wrong with that, in my opinion, but sometimes I do see things that I personally feel are a little tactless. They’re not handled well, or they promote toxic behaviors, or it really is incredibly self-indulgent and sometimes grossly ignorant.

However, just like with the hate that I sporadically receive in my Asks, it’s of my own personal belief that if I see something I don’t like or don’t agree with on the internet, then I simply do not engage with it. I don’t give it the attention that it so desperately wants to get out of people, I don’t give it a platform to grow on, I refuse to allow it to think that it has the upper hand anywhere in the situation.

I am entirely in control of the things that I promote on this blog, and I take that responsibility very seriously. It’s why I refuse to reblog art if it’s so obviously not being posted by the original artist (there are SEVERAL kiribaku blogs I have seen gaining popularity recently that simply post art from other artists without any credits or any permission). I have even seen several of my own mutuals reblogging art from those particular blogs, and so I find it incredibly important to be diligent in which accounts I reblog art from.

That being said - I’m not perfect. I’m a human being behind this account, a singular entity the runs the entirety of this blog, ever growing and learning and working every day to be better than I was the day before, and sometimes I make mistakes.

Sometimes I reblog stolen art, and need a follower to nudge me in my inbox and let me know that it’s stolen and where to find the original art, so that I can take the responsibility of deleting the stolen post and reblogging the original content to show support for the original artist. Sometimes I write something in a fic that (to me, from my own experiences) I might not consider to be harmful or inappropriate, but that might be damaging in a way that I may have never considered before because I had grown so used to receiving that kind of treatment myself that I fail to see its toxicity on my own, and so when people come to me with genuinely helpful constructive criticism, I feel it is my duty as a writer to be level-headed and humble enough to admit that perhaps what I have grown so accustomed to is just that - behavior I’ve simply grown accustomed to - and to then take a good hard look at that example and make a decision about whether I want to change it or not.

The important thing to remember is that we’re all entitled to our own opinions and feelings, but that we’re also individually responsible for the way that we react to these types of circumstances.

Becoming defensive, becoming enraged, becoming aggressive, becoming jaded - these things don’t do anything but make a situation worse.

That’s why I love Bakugou so. fucking. much. He IS all of those things. Defensive. Easy to anger. Inherently aggressive. And Horikoshi is teaching him through many trials and errors why those types of behaviors will be his inevitable downfall, why falling into the pit of ‘you hurt me, so I must hurt you back’ leads only to repeated failure and internal anguish, why you will forever be forced to run in place and can never continue to grow and move forward if you’re so busy ignoring the reality that we are all humans, that we are all flawed, that we all experience the same emotions, even if we don’t agree with them or think that they’re justified.

The reason I love Bakugou’s character so much is because he is so deeply flawed, he is told time and time again that he is the epitome of a villain, and yet he refuses to accept that. He refuses to believe that he is anything other than the greatest hero-to-be, and he’ll push his bruised ego and damaged pride aside time and time again to relearn what has already been so solidly ingrained into his being, to continuously be watching and listening and learning while still whole-heartedly remaining unabashedly true to himself, to know that he came to this amazing hero school and is being taught by these incredible heroes “not to learn what he can do, but to learn what he can’t do.”

So, to wrap up this entirely incoherent rambling mess of a response that you no doubt didn’t care to read about, I deal with hate the same way that I deal with everything else; circumstantially, and with as much empathy as I can possibly muster.

If it’s random hate just looking for attention and wanting to hurt, I refuse to give them a stable platform to stand on or an audience to be subjected to. I force them to go somewhere else, cause it’s no fun to hit someone over and over again who refuses to ever hit back. If it’s in regards to my fics, I think I work really hard to provide healthy representation work for this fandom, to showcase the characters in not only challenging situations but also how they can realistically overcome them, and to create an environment where love can be seen as just that, love.

Whether it’s with Bakugou and Kirishima learning how to recognize their own weaknesses and become better people because of them, or whether it’s with Bakugou and Hikaru discovering that experiencing love and relenting in trust doesn’t make them weak but in fact makes them infinitely stronger than they will ever consciously realize, the end result is always the same. I just want to share stories, hopefully ones with positive messages, that make people feel things and maybe might teach them a lesson or two along the way.

I hope this somewhat answered your question anon! Sorry it’s so long and jumbled but is anyone really surprised anymore? When you ask me a question like this, just know I am always going to go off on a long tangent :,D

If you’re ever experiencing a situation where you feel harassed or unsafe or you want advice on how to properly handle a situation, please feel free to reach out to me, and we can work together to try and come up with a mature, responsible solution!

Happy reading!! xx

#dealing with hate #there I go rambling again oops sorry ahaha #personal #asks

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glitterycrownphantom · 4 years

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Background

Toby grew up with several mental disorders during his childhood, making it difficult for him to fit in with "normal people". He was constantly bullied by his classmates for his tics and was ultimately deemed unsuited for a public school surrounding, so he switched to homeschooling. While he received plenty of support from his mother and older sister Lyra, his father was nothing but a negative influence on his son. Having lost himself to alcohol, drugs and gambling, Toby's father became increasingly abusive towards his family, especially Toby.

When Toby was seventeen, he and his sister were involved in a tragic car accident that resulted in Lyra's death. Toby's symptoms worsened greatly because of this; he lost his appetite for food, became even less social than before, and slowly began to lose his memories. On the night he returned from the hospital, Toby saw the Slender Man watching him from the street. Slender Man repeatedly stalked Toby wherever he went throughout the following weeks, causing Toby to have several visual and auditory hallucinations. Concerned for her own son's safety, Toby's mother brings him to a psychiatrist to help him cope with his post-traumatic stress disorder.

The next day Toby dreams of his sister's corpse followed by an attack by the Slender Man. As Toby walked down the stairs, he began hearing voices telling him to kill his father. He eventually couldn't ignore the voices anymore and has a complete mental breakdown. After a brief struggle with his father, Toby gained the upper hand violently stabbed his father in front of his mother. In a desperate attempt to escape the police, he set the neighborhood on fire as a distraction, but was quickly surrounded by the flames. Just as he was about give into his inevitable death, the Slender Man teleports in front of him and saves him. Two weeks later, Toby's mother listened to a news story about the murders of several teenagers. The main suspect is Toby due to one of his hatchet's being found at the crime scene. This marked the moment Toby officially became a Proxy of Slender Man.

Personality

Though Toby usually has an up-beat and hyper personality, he can be very sarcastic at times and he will sometimes lose control of his emotions due to his bipolar disorder. He can change from being very emotional to being angry or happy in an instant, making it very difficult to talk to him at times. Despite this, he can be friendly to certain people and he is a natural born trouble-maker.

Problems with the community

Masky, Hoodie, and Toby

Brian Thomas (Actor Brian Haight)

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Be aware this section contains spoilers:

This is a point of confusion in the mythos that often is question without truly understand who Masky and Hoodie are. Ticci-Toby is, in his own story, a proxy. Masky and Hoodie, however, are not proxies, and have never come into contact with Slender Man. The main antagonist of MarbleHornets is The Operator, a similar character to Slender Man with several fundamental aspects altered. The Operator does not use proxies, and neither Masky nor Hoodie are ever seen trying to help it. The opposite is true, actually, as they are constantly trying to impede Alex, who is also trying to destroy The Operator, but through a different method than they are.

Additionally, Hoodie and Masky are the alternate personas of Brian Thomas and Tim Wright. By the end of MarbleHornets, Brian is dead, and Tim has cast off his personality shifts. Neither have had control of their shifts, do not show any ability to remember what has happened, and Tim specifically does everything both as Masky and as himself to stop The Operator the best he can. By the end of the series, Tim and Hoodie were enemies, and Hoodie was ultimately killed by Tim and then revealed to be Brian.

Ticci-Toby has never existed in the MarbleHornets universe, and therefore would never interact with either Tim Wright nor Brian Thomas. Furthermore, Masky and Hoodie are typically depicted as individuals with a similar build to Toby, which is false as both are bulkier men with a heavier set. Finally, MarbleHornets states it exists in its own continuity, meaning it would be impossible for Ticci-Toby to meet either Brian or Tim, let alone the fact that Brian is dead and Tim is missing.

One other piece of confusion is part of the Creepypasta World theory, which stipulates all creepypasta characters actually exist in one singular universe. While most creepypasta authors do not accept this, Brian and Tim still wouldn't be part of it even if it were true. This is because Hoody and Masky are not creepypasta. By definition, a creepypasta is essentially an internet horror story, whereas Hoody and Masky were characters created for a YouTube show. They were never written in a story prior to this, and are copyrighted characters just like Toby, so they cannot be written without permission from Troy Wagner, Joseph DeLage, and Tim Sutton. Any creepypasta stories involving Brian and Hoody are not only non-canon, but totally fake, just like any spinoff creepypasta of Ticci-Toby.

Is Toby Canon?

This is a point of confusion for most people in the Toby fandom, which mainly stems from confusion as to how Slender Man canon works.

A Slender Man story is typically regarded as canon or not on an individual basis, but as a mythos overall, stories that are canon are typically only accepted as canon once the mythos has come to accept it as either a fundamental aspect of the Slender Man, or the world Slender Man embodies. Furthermore, most works involving characters interacting with Slender Man often have very limited storytelling, and quickly die out. From a surgist point of view, Toby would be an unacceptable part of the mythos, as Surgists do not tend to believe in the concept of proxies as a canon aspect.

One major problem is that Slender Man is attributed under a creative commons, allowing for use of him in everything save for commercial products that are released without the permission of Eric "Victor Surge" Knudsen. Ticci-Toby, however is a copyrighted character belonging to Kastoway, who used Toby in only one story and has distanced himself from his creation altogether. As such, Toby is a dropped concept, and is non-canon. He exists in only one story and will not be used in any further stories.

Kastoway and his creation

On the Ticci-Toby Deviantart page created by author Kastoway, comments have been disabled.

On Friday, December 14th, 2014, Kastoway wrote the following after a series of arguments regarding Toby being shipped with other Creepypasta characters. The post was titled "Creepypasta Fandom, Please Read"

Hello guys,Due to recent events I feel the need to clarify a few things.A lot of people really have been white knighting for me, which I understand is in attempt to help me out and defend me in a situation in which I wouldn't defend myself but you really don't need to do that.I know in the past I have asked people not to draw or write anything involving Toby which featured him being shipped with anyone other than Clockwork but I know now that it's really pointless to ask something like that.A lot of people have respected what I am and am not comfortable with and some people haven't. That's fine, I don't really find it to be important anymore, it's really just not worth the effort in trying to fight back against stuff like that and I guess I really just don't care much anymore.I'm done with the Creepypasta fandom. I've been done with it for a while and with Toby's copyrights in place I plan on not looking back on it or bothering with it unless it involves legal violation of copyright.Please don't feel inclined to defend me against people shipping Toby with other characters or OCs or anything like that, it's fine. And not to mention people are getting hurt because some others tend to take it too far.Bashing on someone's OC is a big nono. Please do not do that it's very hurtful towards the creator.Bashing and Constructive criticism are two very different things and have two very different outcomes.I never wanted to ultimately hurt anyone, I just thought that in the past that by putting up boundaries with my character I'd feel more comfortable with my place in the fandom but I was wrong and I am 100% not afraid to admit that.This is my fault. It is and I am truly sorry that I caused so much trouble, please know that it wasn't intended.From this point on please don't attack anyone about shipping with Toby or anything like that.Just leave it be, okay?And to anyone who has been hurt in the process please know that I truly am sorry. The fact that one little thing went against something I didn't like doesn't mean that it's right for you to be hurt, and I truly hope that everything gets better for you.I wasn't prepared for my character to become popular on the internet. I really wasn't.I never thought it would happen and I'm still not good at dealing with it. In fact I suck at it, it's true.Anyone who dislikes me has one reason or another to feel that way about me and that's fine. As I've said before I don't ask anyone to think of me any certain way so hate me if that's what you feel, just know that I'm sorry for what I've done and if I've ever done anything to personally offend you or anything like that and you'd like to confront me about it please do so so that I can apologize to you directly, because I want you all to understand that I'm not just playing nice, I mean it when I say I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused.I don't want to come on Deviantart and worry about people hating me. I don't want to start or continue conflicts, I just want it all to be water under the bridge.So all and all--Thank you and I'm sorry. I really am.

Kastoway has tended to refuse to answer questions regarding Ticci-Toby, with reasoning not being directly cited, but possibly being due to receiving the same questions over and over, and possibly in response to any flame wars that happened due to the above post.

The Slender Man Connection (SMC) wiki has hosted an article regarding Toby since May 2014, and has repeatedly had to delete or redact comments worshiping Toby. These include worshiping Toby's aspects, wanting to be in a relationship with Toby, believing Toby to be real or, at the very least, based on a real person, wishing to be in a romantic relationship with Toby, idolizing his murderous behavior, and a myriad of other problems. On April 29th, 2016, Kastoway wrote the following on a blog post on Deviantart titled "What the F---". The beginning portion of the blog was added after Kastoway had posted a comment on this wiki which will be posted after this blog.

EDIT:// Hey guys, sorry again for how hostile I sounded in this journal, I usually try not to use such a large amount of cursing and stuff like that, I was in a really infuriated state so I let all of that slip. ANYWAY the mods on the wiki have featured my comment as a discussion and edited to wiki in order to give the issue some recognition, which I am incredibly thankful for! Hopefully that helps cut this crap down, although I know there will always be those hard-headed people who will refuse to accept the fact that he's not real. Anyways, sorry about that. I'd like to go back to avoiding the subject of Ticci-Toby from here on out.Thanks guysI know I said I'd like to avoid this topic to the best of my ability but I feel like straight up pointing this out because I have no tolerance for this asinine bulls---. Sure it's all fun and games until another person gets hurt because some crazy f---ed up kid thinks they're gonna please some made up f---ing character by harming someone else again.The comments on this are absolutely ridiculous.I'm saying this here and now, and I'm going to make a comment there linking back to this journal so people know that I'm the actual person who wrote the god damn story: Ticci-Toby is 100% fictional, he is made up, I am f---ing positive because I made him up. His sole purpose was for my entertainment because I like horror and I wanted to create a scary story that ended up actually getting unexpected amounts of attention. He is not real, he not based off of a real person or an urban legend, you have not seen him with your own eyes because he is FAKE. Do NOT take this and make another f---ing sick move like those girls who stabbed their friend over Slenderman, do not do this to me, do not do this to anyone. Claiming that he's real is taking an imaginary thing meant to do nothing but take the form of a scary story for entertainment purposes and making it a real life issue that actually affects real life people. I'm horrified to see people say this, I don't know what I'd do if this were the cause of something awful because of some f---ed up prepubescent s---head hurting someone over something I made.I know I sound aggressive and rude but that's because I am furious. I am not going to take lightly to this subject, I'm not playing games, this is an issue and I'm not going to sit back and let people take something made up to a harmful realistic magnitude.To the people who think that Ticci-Toby or any horror character, creepy pasta or not is real; get your f---ing head on straight, don't be a god damn idiot.

(Minimally edited to censor curses, Original blog link above, can be read uncensored on Deviantart)

In response, Kastoway also posted the following under the username "Bonejags" on the comment section of this article (Link to uncensored comment):

I cannot believe the bulls--- that I am seeing in these comments. I cannot believe that there is an actual debate over whether or not Ticci-Toby is real. I made this account to announce that no, he is not real. How do I know? Because I'm the one who made him the hell up. I'm Kastoway from deviantart, the one that's credited in the wiki for writing the story. If you don't believe me here's a link to a journal about this subject that's on my account

http://kastoway.deviantart.com/journal/What-the-f----599845215

So, once again, I'm going to say it. Ticci-Toby is 100% FICTIONAL. As in he is NOT REAL. So no, to those saying that they've seen him with their own eyes, you haven't, there's nothing to see because he doesn't exist. He's not based on a real person nor an urban legend, he is a character I made up because I wanted to write a scary story for my own entertainment. I had no clue that it would get this amount of attention, and that's why handling the subject has been so rough for me.I apologize if I sound harsh but I have no tolerance for this bulls---. The amount of people who think that he's real is absolutely obscene, and I can't bare to think that another incident similar to the Slenderman Stabbings is possible because of something I created for fun. Please do not let that happen and take this seriously. It's one thing to enjoy a horror story, it's another thing to get joy from thinking that fictional psychopaths are real and that you're able to interact with them. They're fake and quite frankly I don't care how hearing that affects you, if you're heartbroken to hear that a crazy f---ing murderer isn't real then there is something wrong with and what you need is help and a taste of reality.

(Edited minimally to censor curses. Original unedited comment link above, and will remain unedited for record).

Since then, all comments regarding worshiping Toby or trying to imply he is real have been either heavily edited or deleted entirely. Kastoway himself does not wish to speak about Ticci-Toby further.

UPDATE: For some time, Kastoway's Deviangtart Blogs have been 404ed, possibly indicating they were deleted by Kastoway, but for unknown reasons. Unfortunately, the only current evidence of their existence is the above transcripts of the blogs.

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