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teenagebeautyqueen · 4 years

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[Image description: a young person holds a mobile phone with a blue case and a paper on the other. the paper has a drawing of an umbrella colored with the trans pride flag. we can only see their upper body. they are looking down and to the left of the image. they're smiling without showing their teeth, and look relaxed. they're wearing a black, loose hoodie and some shorts can be seen at the bottom of the picture. they're also using black nail polish. on the background there is a door and a star wars poster. the other image is a close up of the paper. end ID]

🌈ʜᴇ/ᴛʜᴇʏ🌈

happy trans day of visability to all my fellow trans*!! here is me and my project for peace's day... i personally love it. it's on spanish, but i'll translate it for y'all.

the text on the left says "cada persona que conoces está luchando una batalla de la que no sabes nada. sé amable. siempre", which is the translation of that quote that goes like "every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. be kind. always".

the one on the right says "¿qué sentido hay en pelear? ¿por qué insistimos en sabotearnos mutuamente? Todos caminamos por el mismo sendero embarrado, todos nos dirigimos al mismo final." its translation is something like "what's the point on fighting? why do we insist on sabotage each other? we all walk the same muddy path, we are all headed for the same end."

and above the umbrella there's words like "odio", "acoso", "ignorancia" & "discriminación", which mean "hatred", "harassment", "ignorance", and "discrimination".

yeah i'm very subtle.

i've decided to share my story with the world. but i got kinda carried away. it's not s fairy tale, so don't read it if you're sensitive to themes like bullying, mental health issues, and toxic people.

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it's been... one ride of a journey, to say the least. i've said a few times that i started to question my gender around summer. but that's not quite true.

growing up, i never was fond of... anything that i associated with femenine, really. this included, but wasn't limited to, any color that wasn't blue (pink and purple get a special mention, i despised them), flowers, clothes too loose or too tight, shorts if they weren't from some sport, etc. i think you get the idea.

this collided with me being afab (aka a girl for everyone including myself) & neurodivergent. i wanted nothing to do with those things. but society wanted me to love them.

5 yo me said she didn't like Monster High. 5 yo female classmate said i was a weirdo. 7 yo me loved football. 7 yo male classmate said i couldn't play because i was a girl. 9 yo me hyperfixated on minecraft. 9 yo pretty much every classmate called me a geek.

so i stoped trying. for a while, i loved pink, wanted to have rapunzel's hair, watched disney channel, etc. but i already was the weirdo. i remember being three and friends with all of them. i remember playful fights for the toy rocket and reading books with the only other boy who could read, to ourselves, each other, and the whole class. but people grow up, and they change. so yeah, i was bullied. always the last one to be chosen, left alone on the bus rides, on my own at the playground.

and you'll be thinking "that sucks, but pao, how is it related to you being trans?"

you'll see, i didn't have many friends. i was kinda alone until i turned 7. then two new kids came to my class. let's call them eva and john. i made friends with them asap. i loved them so much!! they were my first friends since kindergarden. so i allowed myself to let go. i was already hated by most of my peers. why wouldn't i be myself with those who didn't despise me? (i was 7 when i thought this. 7 years old, and i thought that out of 20 people, 18 hated me. and then people wonder why i've got self-steem issues lmao. i'm tryna make the point that bullying in primary school isn't just some mean kids calling you names. i'm currently in high school and it still has its mark on me. but that's for another moment.)

so yeah. i went "wild". eva has adhd too (noice, right? i mean she has her diagnosis becaise she's primarly hyperactive, while i'm primarly inattentive, but we understood each other way quickier than with neurotypicals– even if i didn't know why yet), and john was kinda shy & corpulent (he wasn't fat, but he didn't look slim either), just like me. so we became friends. and i slowly opened up a little, while still playing my role of "the freak kid". i knew i was seen as that AND as the smart kid. double pressure, double bullying. but i had my small circle. it evolved until my current friend group, in which, god bless, there's a trans girl!! (eva's still on it– she's my best friend and i would die for her, no doubts. john can go fuck himself, the goddamned fascist).

but it ain't that easy. it never is. i'm 14 and afab. shit happens. y'all get it.

my first period happened while i was on a school trip (bad), on a hotel with no pads avaliable (very bad), on another country so i couldn't call my mum unless i had wifi because politics & stuff– and i did not have wifi (really bad). cue a lot of dysphoria (even if i didn't know it was that) + not being able to contact anyone. add the fact that i was the second one to have it, and it was some kind of taboo– it meant the other girls wouldn't leave me alone, and the result is clear: one of my worst panic attacks ever, on a tiny bathroom of some shitty hotel room.

from there it went downhill. my body started to become femenine, and the football short didn't make my hips smaller. my face, my oh so alarged face, suddenly became rounder. puberty hit me not only physically, but emotionally. and if that wasn't enough, we, as a class, were entering what's called here "the turkey age", a.k.a. teenagerhood, where looks become even more important. it didn't take long until i hated my body.

[WARNING: from here, this gets hard. mentions of eating disorders, depressive episodes/thoughts, toxic enviroments, homophobia/transphobia (both internalized and external), anxiety attacks, and thoughts of self-harm]

i thought "it's big, it shouldn't be big, it's fat. besides i don't want it to grow so fast. i want to make it stop growing. how? well, i grow up by eating. no eating=no growing".

yeah. eating disorder. when i think about it, i want to laugh. because it only took a few comments and "jokes" for me to be so angry at myself when i should be mad with them. i'm big. always have been, very likely always will. i've been told that i could make a very good rugby player. i probably would. i shared my cantine table with people (😔). and they wouldn't shut up. "[deadname], the rest wants to eat too!", "look at [deadname], she's gonna eat it all!". things like that. i stoped eating. i would pick up the smallest amount of food i could, even if my stomach was begging me to please eat something. eventually, my mum found out. and she helped me to grow out of it. i sometimes releapse, but never for that long. because i went on a whole year like that. and it sucked.

so, last year. socially anxious neurodivergent girl with several doubts on her sexuality gets to eight grade.

i play basketball. since i was little. i used to enjoy it a lot. we weren't a team– we were a family. loved 'em so much, 1000/10 one of the best things of my life. BOOM. now you're old enough & good enough to be on the "good" team. in the good time there's the cool kids. i am not a cool kid. oops. i was left behind, they all laughed at my back, no one cared about me (except one girl, but she was in the group and was scared to act until almost the end of the year. love her for that tho). i felt like shit. i was too scared to go to train. the sight of a ball scared me, because i couldn't help but think everyone was talking shit about me. we went to a national championship and when they went out to the city, they didn't tell me, then sent a pic of them having fun to the groupchat & delated it saying "oops it was for the other group". i had several breakdowns on my room that night. it was such a bad experience i can't even hear the name of the city without tearing up.

not to count that a new girl decided to make my life a living hell. now i know how to deal with her, but then i didn't, and i ended up curled up on the bathroom floor crying.

all while i discovered my own identity. i was so scared of being non-straight i hated myself for it.

it was a tough year and there were times where i would wish i'd never existed. it was too much for me to deal with, and i was just miserable. but i got out of it. remember the trans girl i mentioned? she's closeted, and she told me just this october. but even before that, she was my friend. she bought a new life to it all, a fresh one. i owe her a lot, including accepting myself as i am.

she is here, despite everything.

i am here, despite everything.

you are all here, despite everything.

some of us aren't here. they are the ones we remember. each one of us has our history. i shared mine with you all. it is not an easy road. you know that. it's hard, and it's tough, and it's difficult, and it's unfair.

but we are here, despite everything. the ones who made it, the ones who didn't, the ones who are halfway through it, and the ones who are to come.

we are here. we are trans. and we won't be erased.

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tjskipping · 5 years

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fluffy tyrus hcs

for @heart-eyes-kippen bc sarah is the greatest and i love her

they're that couple that tells each other i love you every second

they binge watch b99 and then cyrus regrets it immediately when tj says "noice" in an irl conversation with andi

cyrus claims he's not ticklish so tj randomly attacks him with tickles to see if he can make him laugh

they have two person dance parties where they see who can dance the worst

cyrus impulse buys a ton of nail polishes on sale so he and tj have each nail painted a different color for like a week

they have weekly date nights where they catch each other up on their weeks and gossip about everyone

cyrus puts on a tater theatre show of how they got together

hugs!!! all the hugs!!!

they comment the most ridiculous stuff on each other's Instagram posts and it always makes them smile

sometimes cyrus wakes tj up in the middle of the night during sleepovers to tell him a script idea he had and tj listens to it enthusiastically while giving sleepy feedback

one of their favorite movie to watch together is how to train your dragon

lip-synching dramatically in the car during long drives

beach dates!!!

tj sometimes pokes cyrus silently when he wants a hug and cyrus just casually opens his arms during whatever he's doing without pausing

one time andi pokes him and he reflexively opens his arms and they proceed to have the most awkward hug ever because neither of them is sure what's happening

#andi mack #tj kippen #tyrus #cyrus goodman #my headcanon #my headcanons #my post

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wanderingclark · 4 years

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What a Mess || Clark, Beka and Deni

Who: Clark Meeks, Deni Wilde ( @deni-doveport ) and Beka Hummel ( @doveportbeka) Where: Clark’s car at the beach When: Thursday, January 23, 2020 What: Clark is drunk and lets their ex best friend bring them food when Beka shows up after their fight. Triggers: drinking, drug use, mentions of death, fighting, violence, cursing. all the fun things.

Clark

Clark was just sitting at the back of their car, door open and feet dangling, staring out a the ocean. There was an empty bottle of jack behind them and a half empty bottle next to them. They'd been drinking most of the day and they knew they needed food. Could you be dumped if you weren't dating in the first place? They hated how their heart had just been hurting all day, like the felt like they fucked up the best thing they ever had, like they messed up, even though they knew they didn't. The groaned before taking another swig. When Deni had texted them back, they stared at their phone before deciding they were too drunk to care. They weren't really sure if they wanted to spend time with the girl but she was bringing them food so they figured at least they got food.

Deni

Deni stared at her phone for what seemed like forever after receiving the text. She knew it was probably an accidental text but she couldn't help her fingers from moving as she typed. It sent her body buzzing with anxiety but she still couldn't help it. And Clark had agreed which was even harder for her brain to wrap her head around. Thankfully she had a little bit of cash left over from her day so she headed toward the McDonald's getting the order Clark used to get and a little something extra, just because. She didn't want to make a big deal out of this and truthfully, her head was going back and forth about whether or not this was a good idea. She wanted to talk to Clark, explain everything, but nothing excused what she'd done and for that she never expected the brunette to forgive her. Hell, she never wanted to forgive herself. It took longer on foot to get to the beach than a car but it was fine, she was used to walking places by now. Once she saw the brunette on their familiar perch in their car she froze, trying to make her breathing even again before walking up to them. "H-hey. Here. Sorry it took long." She shrugged, looking down at the sand as the other took the food from her.

Clark

Clark glanced over and grabbed the bag. "Thanks" the mumbled as they reached in and quickly grabbed a burger, unwrapping it and taking a big bite. Looking at the girl, they stared at her. She looked sick. She was definitely not the Deni she left back in New Mexico. But they weren't about to open that bag of worms. They didn't have the brain capacity right now. Moving the bottle, they scooted over before taking another bite. "You can sit if you want" they said as they continued staring out at the ocean. They'd been here all day. They skipped class after Beka texted them back and they hadn't moved. Watching the blonde sit down out of the corner of their eye, they sighed. "So...you back for good or?"

Deni

Deni nodded, her eyes only slightly up to see Clark's reaction. She wanted to laugh at how Clark still devoured her food but she knew she shouldn't, she wasn't allowed anymore. "Um..yeah..okay, if you're sure." She worried her lip for a moment, contemplating, before she moved to climb into the other's car. "Maybe? I don't know." She said after awhile. She actually didn't know. She didn't know what she was doing. "I don't know what I"m doing." She voiced.

Clark

Clark polished off their first burger in 4 bites before stuffing a few fries in their mouth and washing it down with some Jack. Turning their head to look at Deni, they furrowed their brow before shaking their head. "Where's Madison?" they asked, their filter completely gone with how drunk they are. They saw the girl wince at the name and handed her the bottle out of their hand, not knowing what happened but obviously something did, since she was back

Deni

Deni watched the other out of the corner of her eye but flinched at madison's name, the pain coming back in full force. Her head fell as she tried to collect herself, not knowing what to even say or if she even could. "She's..." She stopped, taking a couple deep breaths to calm herself. Man did she need something and thankfully her fingers felt the familiar baggie from Puck in her pocket and pulled it out, taking some of the powder under her nail to inhale it. She waited a little, letting the drug wash over her system. "Dead." She said simply, wincing even at the word and even with the drug slowly starting to course through her veins.

Clark

Clark's head quickly turned to face Deni before closing their eyes at the sudden dizziness. They were not sober enough for this conversation. "Damn" they said slowly before grabbing their second burger and began stuffing their face with it. "That sucks. I'm sorry" they said as they looked back out to the ocean. They couldn't tell how many times they had wished death to that girl but they never actually wanted it to happen. They shook their head. This was too much for their alcohol infused brain at the moment. Taking the bottle back since Deni didn't take it, they took another swig, downing it like it was water at this point.

Deni

Deni shrugged, unable to even say anything about it at this point. She still hadn't talked about it, hadn't told anyone what had happened. Who would she tell anyway? She hadn't talked to her family since it happened and she hadn't talk to Clark since they'd left, her fault, she knew. They sat in silence for along time, listening to the waves. Deni took another hit before she retired the bag to her pocket again. She would have offered it to Clark but Clark was already wasted and there was no chance in hell she was going to kill Clark on top of everything else. "So, you're back too, I guess?"

Clark

Clark shrugged at her question. "The road is boring alone" they halfheartedly explained. It was true. But they also just felt lost. Doveport was a reset, or something. They didn't know at this point. They could feel their eyes glossed over. They were getting to the point where they were so drunk they were tired. They probably wouldn't even remember half this conversation in the morning. The sound of the waves crashing was relaxing. It's why they got a plot of land where they did. They finished their burger before grabbing the fry box and started eating more of them. They didn't realize the other human walking towards the car.

Beka

Beka had been thinking about Clark all day, all the things she'd said and more importantly all the things she hadn't said. She'd finally confessed all of her feelings to Puck earlier when he'd found her crying in the tub. She had never in her life felt like she was allowed to ask for what she wanted, or needed. When she was a kid, she'd taken what she got and if she complained, she was yelled at or punished. But she was a grown up now and sometimes you had to suck it up and say want you needed to say. At least then it would be out in the open. She'd tried to distract herself, but it wasn't any good, and finally she had asked to leave work early and took a wander. She found herself by the beach, and though she hadn't planned on being here, she knew that subconsciously she had come looking for Clark. She spotted the car first, and kept walking toward the sound of voices. Who was Clark talking to? Spotting a waif of a girl sitting next to Clark, Beka shook her head. This was a mistake. She couldn't do this. She turned to go, but her old Converse, not build for sand, caught and she tumbled to the ground, catching herself painfully on her hands. With a groan, she began to stand, hopefully they were too caught up in each other to have noticed the sounds.

Deni

Deni nodded. She understood where clark was coming from. She missed how things used to be, missed her friends and her life, but things were different now and she couldn't let herself let anyone close again and more-so, she didn't think she deserved anyone. They sat in silence again for a while before there was a noice by the car. Deni looked up, turning her head to see a brunette on the ground. "Shit, you okay?" She said as she stood, watching the other get to her feet.

Clark

Clark looked over at the noise and froze. Their eyes were deceiving them. "Beka?" they asked, their words coming out slurred, just as they had been since Deni showed up. Shaking their head, they grabbed it with one hand as the dizziness came back. They needed to stop with the sudden movements. "What the fuck is going on right now" they mumbled, mostly to themselves.

Beka

Standing, Beka turned to face them, her jaw clenched. "Fine. I'm fine." Of course Clark had already moved on, of course they wouldn't be thinking about her the way she'd been thinking about them. No one ever had, no one ever would. But she would not cry again, not in front of the two of them. "Have a good night." She said coldly, her eyes meeting Clark's before she turned, slowly this time, to go.

Deni

"Hey. You sure, sure?" Deni asked, walking toward the girl. "It um, looked like a shitty fall." The blonde said as she walked a little bit toward the girl. She didn't know who the other was or how Clark knew her, all she knew was she'd seen her fall and she was obviously upset. Man, was everyone in town so brooding lately, herself included?

Clark

Clark set their bottle down and jumped down from the back of the car, falling into the sand when they couldn't catch their balance in time. Standing up, they swayed slightly before turning toward the brunette and walking over as quickly as they could, which wasn't all that fast seeing how drunk they were and how with each step they swayed further away. "Why are you here. Are you here to tell me you're dumping me? Well you can't. Because we weren't together. So you can't dump me if we were never together in the first place" they slurred, half of their words not even making sense.

Beka

Beka looked the girl over, she knew when someone was strung out when she saw it. So this must be Deni. Jesus Christ, was that what she had looked like when she had gotten back to town? Then she looked at Clark, who she realized for the first time was fucked up beyond all reason. This was just great, the one time she had plucked up the courage to actually have a real conversation and Clark was wasted and about to fuck his ex who three nights ago they had hated. If this was what they wanted then fine, she didn't need it. She fought back the tears that were beginning to pool in the corners of her eyes. "I... I can't do this. This was a bad idea..." she mumbled, once again making to flee.

Deni

Deni listened to the whole ordeal unfold and silently chided herself for even coming down here. She didn't know Clark was seeing anyone and now she'd gone and fucked with their life again by being around. "Fuck, dude...I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't know. I just...I just brought Clark food cuz she accidentally text me. It's nothing. I promise. I'm...I'm gonna go so you guys and talk and shit. Fuck, sorry." She ran her hand forcefully through her hair, yanking on it before she let her arms fall to the sides, fingers gripping into her palms as hard as they could. She didn't look up at Clark or at Beka, not wanting to see the looks on their faces.

Clark

Clark stopped where they were, the ground beneath them feeling like they were standing on a boat. Looking at the two girls in front of them, they couldn't help but chuckle. It was small at first but their laughter bubbled up until they were having trouble breathing. Tears were coming out of their eyes as they continued to laugh. After a few moments, they shook their head and looked at the two girls. "This is funny" they slurred out, pointing between the two of them. "The only two people who have ever made me feel anything both standing next to each other. Both of leaving me. That's funny. Who woulda thought. Man I gotta learn how to turn feelings off" they said, thinking their words were mumbled but were definitely loud enough for everyone to hear as they turned back to slowly try and make their way back towards their car. One hand came up to their chest as they felt like their heart was physically breaking. They were thankful they turned away, the tears streaming down their face no longer visible for the girls to see.

Beka

Anger bubbled up inside Beka, how dare Clark laugh at her right now? Who the fuck did they think they were. Reaching out she grabbed Clark by the shoulder and turned them so they were facing each other again and with her free hand slapped them as hard as they could manage. "I was coming here to APOLOGIZE to you, you asshole!" She snapped. "I came here to actually talk, but you really just could not wait to get fucked up again and fuck your ex who mere days ago you were warning me against. But fuck me, right?" She turned to face Deni. "SO nice to meet you, Deni, and by the way! You have a little something." She tapped her own nose to indicate the trace of powder left behind on Deni's. "Hope you two enjoy each other."

Deni

Deni was horrified by the things that were taking place. The slap against Clark, the way this girl was speaking to Clark and then to her. She wanted to scream but she also wanted to shrink in on herself. "Hey...stop. Come on." She started. "Clark's not trying ta fuck me and I'm not trying ta fuck them. Promise. I just...I just brought the food. I shouldn't a stayed. I'm sorry." She shrunk into herself even more. "You okay, Clark?" She knew she shouldn't ask, Clark and her were nothing anymore and that was her own fault but it didn't change the fact that she still cared. Deni didn't say anything about the powder on her nose, only wiping it as she watched the brunette seethe. "Don't do that. Just...I'll go." Her heart was breaking all over again, thinking she'd fucked things up for Clark yet again and knowing there was nothing she could do to make it better. "Clark..." She turned slowly. She knew the other was too far gone and probably wouldn't remember what she'd said in the morning but she still needed to say it. "You were right. I'm sorry...for fuckin' everything." She said as she slowly started to walk away, trying to let them have time together.

Clark

The turn, the slap, the yelling. It was all too much for Clark. Their head was pounding, their face was throbbing, they felt like they were going to throw up. Nope. They were throwing up. Bending over, they emptied the contents of their stomach right in front of them, coughing through it until there was nothing left inside them. Spitting, they tried to kick some sand on top of it before they turned to Beka. But before they could say anything, Deni was talking. "Dude, it's fine. Whatever. I'm sorry" they said before turning to Beka, their voice low. "And you" they called out, their filter completely gone at this point. "We said there were no limits. We said that it didn't matter who we slept with. There were no rules. There were no rules" they repeated. "But now, whenever I sleep with anyone that's not you, you shut down. And that's not fucken fair. Because I'm doing nothing wrong. I'm not breaking any rules. It's not cheating because we aren't actually together" they continued. "Which, whatever. It's what we agreed. And I sleep with other people to try and distract myself from the fact that all I really want is to be with you. All the fucken time. I sleep with other people to try and see if what I feel when I'm with you is a fluke. And yeah, sometimes I do it just for fun. But fuck Beka, even when I'm with other people, all I can think about is being with you again. But you keep shutting me down and I can't handle that anymore. I can't handle how much I feel for you and just get this hot and cold shit from you. I can't do that. It fucken hurts too much. Almost two bottles later and it still hurts. I can't make it go away" they said, their arms falling to their side as they let out a breath of air they were apparently holding as they talked. They felt drained. They felt exhausted. Everything hurt and nothing could be fixed apparently.

Beka

Beka didn't bother to wipe away the tears that were falling down her face, it didn't matter, Clark wouldn't remember tomorrow And they were saying they didn't want her anymore anyways, they couldn't do it. If she'd had a heart, it would probably be breaking right now. She spoke, her voice low, but loud enough for both to hear. "I was coming to talk. We were supposed to try to talk and you never even tried. And I told you I wasn't good at it, but I came here to try anyways. I came to tell you I was sorry, I came to explain. But you don't care, you can't do it. And I get it. No one can deal with me for long. I tried..." Her voice caught, her lip quivered and she tried to ignore that Deni was there, watching her cry. She felt humiliated. "I tried to warn you I wasn't good enough." She turned to Deni. "You stay. I'm done here. You stay." She shoved her hands in her pockets and began to walk away.

Clark

"No. Deni needs to leave and you need to stay" Clark said firmly. They were sobering up very quickly and while they were still very drunk, they knew what they were saying. "I never tried because you said you wouldn't be able to give it to me. If I tired to talk to you today, you would have just pushed me away more. Shut me down. We'd be back to square one. We'd probably be even worse off because you would have reminded me that you can't just talk about things. So I decided to cut out the middle and just get to where we are now. I came here, as far as I could from town and drank because I knew that if I did that, I would be safe. Everyone would leave me alone. I'd fall asleep eventually and tomorrow would be a new day. But I needed food. Deni brought it to me. How the fuck was I supposed to know you'd show up and want to talk? You wanted nothing to do with me last night. You couldn't even come outside and tell me to go away yourself. You sent Puck, who by the way is also yelling at me and making me feel like shit so thanks. If you can't tell me to leave last night, why the fuck would I think you'd wanna talk tonight?" the argued, their frustration and hurt coming through in their words.

Deni

Deni slunk into herself even more, as far as she could, her arms wrapping tightly around her body as protection. "Yeah, no. No you're right, I'll go. I'm going." She shook her head, walking away from the two feuding people, biting at her nails as she hugged herself as tight as she could. This was all so fucked up, why did she come back, why was Clark back? She should have never sent the text, should have never gotten Clark food. She'd fucked things up yet again. Deni tried her hardest to steel herself as she walked away from them, thankfully her back was toward them both and the darkness of night shielded her face so no one could see the tears.

Beka

"What I said was I didn't know if I could. You're the one with the speeches Clark. I needed time last night, but you were just ready to write me off tonight. Sorry Puck yelled at you, he shouldn't have, he gets like that when he thinks I'm hurt. I won't tell him how you fucking ripped my heart out and stomped on it tonight, okay? So we'll be even." She shook her head. "Sorry I ruined your night. I won't bother you again." She shook her head, pausing for just a moment before turning and finally leaving, finally walking away. She had no more reason to stay.

Clark

Clark just stood there, watching the two girls walk away from them. They had no more fight in them. They were tired. They were in pain. They were hurt. They felt like they couldn't breath. They shouldn't feel like this but goddamn it if Beka didn't make them feel so goddamn much. Walking back to the car, they grabbed the near empty bottle of jack and flung it as hard as they could out into the beach, yelling as they did so before turning back to their car. They punched the side of it, again, and again. They had tears streaming down their face as they took their anger and hurt and frustration out on the back of their car. After a moment, they just stopped, falling to their knees and sobbing. They had no more fight left in them. They were just broken. Again.

#what a mess #deni #beka #adventures #adventures with clark

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achecackey-blog · 5 years

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FreeDead

There's a child name Athena Ackerman her father always trained her to fight. Athena can use all weapons but her specialized is katana. Katana is her favorite weapon because the sharp and shiny steel that she can see her enemies action. Her father gave her that katana so its her favorite one. While her father reading some book downstair he hear some scratches and footsound outside in the room. He walk slowly to go on athena's room. When he hear the noice he wake up athena.

"athena! Its time to live your life. Listen to me run as fast as you can dont look back. You need to protect yourself i believe in you my daughter. You're mission is to kill the people that have a bad intention on you. Dont trust anyone just trust yourself. Always remember that you're not ordinary girl. Understand?" father said. Athena nods tho she dont know what is happening.

"Now. Hold your katana always put this katana on your back." father said and offer the katana to athena.

They both shock when the door breaks because the two ninja kick it. Her father fight the two ninja.He killed the one ninja but he didn't notice that the one ninja is in his back. The ninja stabbed the katana on his back and the heart of her father are now on the floor.

"run my daughter" father said before he passed away.

Katana saw the open window and he run to the window and jump on the window. She fell in the tree and she wait the ninja who killed her father. When she saw the ninja she jump in shoulder of the ninja and she wrap her legs on the neck of the ninja and she stabbed her katana inside of the ninja's heart. She saw the heart of the ninja and she started to cry. She want to takr a revenge in her father's death. She want to know who person commands to kill her father.

As time passed. Athena is now 23 years old she lived in japan. The life in japan are cool you can kill who do you want to kill. Its polished because of the psychopath president who are truly enjoyed seeing dead people.

He implement the law that if you kill many people you are truly the Deity you'll gonna be praised.

Athena is so gorgeous and cold hearted, many bad guys who have a bad intention to her. She killed all people who wants to killed her by stabbing their back and seeing the heart at the floor like the the dead of her father.She dont want to kill people but they want the people always have a bad intention to her She dont have a choice but to kill them. She just want to kill the person who command to kill her father.

She didn't know that the president always watch her. The president want to see Athena and to show the people that athena is a deity. The president command that she want to see athena.

Her bodyguard talk to athena that president wants to see her. At first she refuse but she think that if she'll become famous maybe she can find the person who killed her father.

She come along with the body guards.They went to the president. She see that there's a million people outside of the president's building. She thinks that maybe there's a press conference. When she went on the president's office. She saw that the president is a girl and she's drinking a blood. The president saw her.

"oh there you are, you want some? " the president wink when she offer the blood. Athena run as fast as she can when he smell how delicious the blood is she drink it like she's so hungry as hell.

"i know now, you're like me a monster and a vampire its too obvious that you kill many people because its run in our blood." president say it gently and sweetly.

"what do you want?" athena asked her as she done drinking the blood.

"do you want to be famous darling? Do you want to praised by humans?" president ask her with her sweet voice. President saw Athena's katana.

"Sore wa katanadesu ka? Sore de, anata wa hitobito o korosu koto ni yotte Katana o tsukaimasu ka? Nante subarashī kotodeshou." president said.

(Translate: Is that a sword? So, do you use Katana by killing people? What a wonderful thing.)

"Hai. Watashi no sude de ningen no chi o sometakunaikara" athena said.

(translate: Yes. Because I do not want my bare hands to be stained for human blood.)

"amazing. You can speak and understand japanese." president said

"yes.my father said i am half japanese." athena said with a cold voice.

"why are you killing many people beautiful deity" president ask her with a scary smile.

"I dont want to kill people but they are pushing me to kill them.They have a bad intention to me so i kill them" athena said with a brave face.

"hmm come follow me" president wink at her and start to walk on the terrace with a million people.

Athena hear the nosy sound because of the people scream.

"Chinmoku!" president shouted. People are now quite and calm.

(translate: Silence)

"Watashitachi no hontō no kami o shōkai suru tame ni koko ni Imu." president said in the mic to hear them.

(translate: im here to introduce our true god.)

"Kanojo wa seigi de ōku no hitobito o koroshimasu. Kanojo wa akui o motte iru hitobito o koroshimasu." president said with a serious voice yet sweet sound. Her sweet sound never left her.

(translate:She kills a lot of people with justice. She kills people with malicious intention.)

No one can interrupt her announcement.

"Kanojo wa watashitachi ga hanzai to tatakau no o tasukeru koto ga dekimasu." president said with a smile.

(translate:She can help us fight crime.)

"Watashitachi no kami o sanbi shi nasai." president shout it. All of the people bow their heads to give her a praise even the president bow her head.

(translate: praise our god)

"its your turn to talk if you want to" president said while her head is still bowed.

"Īe, hanashitaku arimasen" athena answered and she turn back to the people and leave them. The president follow her.

(translate: no i dont want to talk)

"You can live here i know your apartment is small." president said

Athena stop and ask the president "how did you know?"

"i am the president if i want to know someone information then boom i'll know now their secrets" president laugh like a witch. She offer a glass of blood to athena "you want some?"

"okay i will live here." athena said and accept the blood. She cant refused the blood because its the only substance that can sustain her life.

One day, while she's walking in the hallway. She hear the president sweet voice talking to someone. She saw one ninja like she saw before.

"Kiken'na kyūketsuki wa koko ni arimasu. Watashitachi wa kanojo no chichioya no yō ni kanojo o korosu koto ga dekiru" president said. Athena is listening to they're conversation.

(translate: The dangerous vampire is here. We can kill her like her father)

"Kanojo ga watashitachi o korosu mae ni watashitachi wa kanojo o korosu hitsuyō ga aru." ninja said

(translate: we need to kill her before she kill us)

Athena run to her room. She need to do a plan.

Its already midnight. She know that they will kill her. She heard footsound its getting louder. She pretend that she's sleeping she put her katana under her blanket.

When she cant feel anything. She open her eyes. She is amused when she see the place. Its their old house. The old house that they use to trained with her father. She see her katana at her side and she get it on the floor and put it on her back.

She walks towards inside their house and she saw a girl with a long hair she can see the girls back. She walks slowly to the front of the girl.

Its the president. Wearing a kimono.

The president smile at her "You finally found me. And I found you. Look at you, my girl.Eaten alive by guilt over a single human. Yet, not a glimmer of regret for having slaughtered so many of your own kind and humans.

"Im not your kind! " Athena kick her katana with full of strength to fly it im front of her. She catch it and she attack the president. But the president is more capable she avoid athena's katana without a sweat. The president is so calmly.

While athena is attacking the president. She didn't notice that the foot of the president is in position to kick her. She already kicked before sje notice it.

She fell from the outside because of the strong kick. Athena saw president is floating slowly towards at her.

"Denial.Stubbornness.I see you've taken good care of his sword." president said it with her sweet voice.

" Show me your true form Onigen! The demon......who murdered my father.The demon......who I'll kill!" athena shouted it with a tears. You can feel the stregth and angryness that flows to her body.

"I, gave you your strength.I, gave you your power.I, gave you immortality,my daughter" president said with a teasing voice.

"no! " athena get up fast and she hold the president neck. Her hands is now burning. You can see the red flame to her hands.Her eyes are now red you can see how angry she is in her eyes.

"you are not my mom and you cant be a mother to anyone especially for me" athena's voice is liked a demon it can feel you the true hell. The president is so weak because of athena's nail that holds her neck plus athena's hand that now flaming.

They're now in the sky.

"Come to me.I've waited a long time, athena. For you to gain your strength. To be ready. You think the more "demons" you kill, the more "human" you become, don't you? How naive. The truth is, the more you kill, the more you unleash your power. You come to your true nature. Don't you see? you've been doing everything you could, to become what you don't want to be. To become me.Never! It's your destiny, silly girl.Leaves fall, forest grows on.The future, lies in you..." president said without hesitation.

Athena throw president to the ground you can hear president shout because the way athena throw her is really hurt. It can cause you to death if you're only a human.

Athena sit on her tummy "my father gave this katana and im so proud that this katana can lead you to hell" athena said blankly you can still hear the demon eco im her voice.

"Don't you see now? Which half of you gives you strength,which half makes you feeble?Let it all out . Unleash yourself and you can kill me.But you're nothing to me! You don't know what it means to be a mother!Kill me my daughter.Kill me.And become me!" president said.

"aahhhhhh" Athena shouted and stabbed her katana at the president heart.

She cry loudly while holding her katana that she used to stab her mother.

"its done my father. My mission is done" athena shout.

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i-used-to-wear-the-fedora · 6 years

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Be More Chill Horror Enthusiast Jeremy AU, Hanging Around

"Are you sure about this?" Michael asked as he helped tie the extra rope around Jeremy's waist, the other teen testing his noose. "What if you get hurt?"

"It'll be fine, I've practiced this tons of times before."

"If you're sure..."

"Come on Michael!" The goth smiled as adjusted his feet on the wobbling chair. "It's gonna be a great Halloween prank. Now go get everyone else!" Michael rolled his eyes, closing the janitor closet door behind him as Jeremy kicked the chair from under him allowing his body to fall. Every Halloween he found a new way to freak people out and this year he'd finally pretend to hang himself. Michael didn't see the joke in it but he wouldn't question his friend. Entering the auditorium he most of the group on stage talking to each other and called out.

"Hey can you guys help me find Jeremy? He said he wanted to show me something but he disappeared."

"I'm not falling for one of his lame pranks again," Rich said but moving but Christine smacked him over the head, "Hey!"

"They're not lame."

"Yeah they're gross, remember when he got strawberry jelly on my new shoes?" Chloe asked making a disgusted noise, "or the time one of his blood packs exploded on everyone?''

"C'mon Chloe it's Halloween, be nice," Brooke said and Chloe huffed.

"Fine but he's paying for my dry cleaning this time."

"So where'd he 'dissapear'?" Jenna asked following Michael out the auditorium.

"Just follow the purple nail polish," Jake noice the spilled bottle.

"Is that mine?" Chloe asked as they found the bottle in front of the janitor's closet. "I'm going to strangle him-" Shoving the door open the group paused when they saw Jeremy there, hanging from light fixture. "Very funny asshole-I thought I told you to stay out of my purse."

"Holy shit, is he okay?"

"Yeah, it's a trick he's been working on for a while, there's a second rope holding up his body. The noose is just for show, come on Jer we-" Michael went to turn Jeremy's body asking and instead found the waist rope had come loose. Meaning Jeremy was...

"Shit! Jake give me your pocket knife!"

"Very funny Michael-"

"No I'm serious! The prank went wrong!" He tried to lift Jeremy's body up to give him sure but his friend's eyes were still closed and he barely move. Jake handed him the knife and Michael quickly began to saw at the rope while everyone else stared unsure what to do.

When he finally got his friend's body down panicking Michael panicked. "Does anyone know CPR, fuck, fuck, fuck-" Michael was cut off by a laugh and looked down at Jeremy's body confused. He almost had a heart attack as his friend sat up, perfectly fine.

"O-oh my God! I really got you!"

"What the fuck? I thought you were dead!"

"I know!" Jeremy smiled, lifting guys shirt to show another rope tied around his waist under his shirt. "Man you should've seen your face! God-," he burst out laughing, holding his stomach. Nobody else was laughing with him making the teen look up to see blank or angry faces.

"I was worried about you asshole!" Michael got up glaring at Jeremy.

"Oh come on-"

"Fuck off Jeremy." Michael stormed out the door leaving Jeremy alone with the rest of the drama club.

"What did I do wrong?"

#be more chill #jeremy heere #michael mell #be more chill au #boyf riends #meremy hell #rich goranski #christine canigula #jake dillinger #brooke lohst #chloe valentine #jenna rolan #the drama squad #the squip squad #horror Enthusiast Jeremy au #spooktober #hanging

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koedder-du · 6 years

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Thank you for tagging me @fille-lioncelle 💛

Here are 10 random facts about me:

1. I own way too much nail polish

2. I have a twin sister

3. I’m half Italian, I don’t speak the language though

4. One of my favourite comics has a baseball podcast so I started listening to it even though I have no idea what they’re talking about most of the time

5. I saw one of my favourite bands in seven different cities

6. I hardly cry while reading books, but fics make me cry all the time

7. I love it when people tell me stories about their pets

8. I saw two polar bear cubs at a zoo once and they’re unbelievably cute

9. I’m waiting for the day when I’ll say “noice” at work and no one will get the B99 reference and they’ll just look at me funny

10. I enjoy watching ski jumping

I’m tagging @lovedeven and @allywantstofly in case you feel like doing it :)

#tagged

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peachnymphuniverse · 6 years

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little things i love/love to do -smell my fingers after peeling an orange -sit on my roof late at night -playing uke under the porch while it rains -opening my windows when it’s chilly and bundle up -slide around in fuzzy socks while my dog chases me -paint my nails and take it off around ten minutes later -when my ukulele strings leave dents in my newly painted nails -listen to my broken record player so that the song registers in my head as a little off key -journal about people’s smiles -in airports i walk around and smile at everyone and get sad if they don’t smile in response (sometimes i double back and repeat the process until they do) -talk to people i’ve just met in the way i wish i did to the people i’ve known -make cookies and dance in the kitchen -close my eyes and guess what flavor jelly bean i get -buy razzles and read in the merc -new sheets -freshly cleaned hair -playing with short (relatively guy) hair -making tea after a rough day -nailing a song first try -sweaters from thrift stores -the feeling when a stranger is nice to me -cheeks hurting from laughing so hard -sporadic adrenaline and finally doing the thing -almond milk over ice -this one gray and pink plate my mom got -mismatching soft patterns on my bed -cuddles with pets (or humans on a good day) -the warmth that occurs when someone calls me beautiful -shiny hair -writing a good song that makes you feel something -piling blankets and pillows in a corner and reading -my mom asking me if i’m happy everyday (and legitimately caring about the answer) -any type of garnier hair product (smells hella good) -the use of the word heck in any context -flowers and flower tattoos -when my sister compliments me (its like the highest form of praise in my life) -the temperature tea is at when it’s hot enough to warm your whole body but not too hot that it burns -tea that has too much honey -hummingbirds in general -my dads laugh -seeing people kiss (not in a creepy way i just really enjoy love) -guys in sweaters and pastel colors -incense from rockin rudy’s -new pj’s -my cat -the sting of hot showers -speaking native languages -people who take random pictures of me -kale salad -dresses that make me look coot -the smell of burning paper -hugs -soup -people who give me their hoodies -making jokes during movies -folded chips -the farmers market when it rains -people with warm hands -people with cold hands -people (ik i say otherwise but people are actually v wonderful sometimes) -cinnamon on hot cocoa -finding a song that relates to your life -stars -blue eyes -baths with music and tea -wearing my stepdads sweaters -making a really nice house in sims -nice teachers @franzen @elder -people with nice eyebrows #envy -buying people coffee -going downtown alone for a few hours and not talking while reading or drinking tea -airports -beaches (the smell mostly) -vanilla perfume -waking up when the blankets are still perfectly in place -when i’m wearing shorts and my warm kitty curls up on my bare legs -layers (button down, sweater, jean jacket) -pretzels with peanut butter -yellow -new socks -citrus smelling stuff -dark chocolate -old cameras -rose and mint flavored lip balm -tiger lilies and sunflowers -when my hair is damp and my head gets it warm -rupi kaur -new watercolors -thrift store vinyls -mike and eleven -knee high socks -overalls -big flannels + jean jackets -popcorn with chulula -drive around in my moms convertible -japanese cherry blossoms -going to the library with @anna everyday -finding a new song and listening to it till you know each word -rain (the smell) -crunching leaves -the stars at 2am -using my kitty as a pillow when she’s curled up -playing the piano (badly) -white curtains -photo booths -nice handwriting -earrings -being under a bunch of blankets -pretty journal pages -hugs when it’s cold out -ink drawings -making my bed -the fact that my favorite band has a song called hannah -genuine laughs and smiles -warm soup on cold days -new jackets -thick socks -when it’s cold outside but you have a v good coat and ur all toasty and happy -soft blankets -finishing homework early -fetal position+big sweaters+floor=happy hannah -making up chords on the uke and giving them names like bartholomew and furghi -remembering inside jokes from forever ago and laughing -laughing so hard you’re incapable of breathing -belting theatre music when home alone -suppa warm bagels -chess w/ tea and mi madre -making spotify playlists for every mood -pretty journals -yellow -knowing little quirks about my friends -asking little questions back and forth with someone i care about -freckles -boys eyelashes -hiking alone -my soft doggy -post-it note quotes -edamame beans with a lil salt at 3 am -my new mattress (praise the lawd) -getting stuff in the mail -the people who actually read all of these lmao -long hair (rly missing mine rn) -big shirts w no pants -people who have specific smells ex. cotton, lemons, lavender, cinnamon -hugging tall people -watching the previews before the movie -messy scribbly handwriting (i think really good handwriting is lacking in character) -this one picture of my dad from the eighties -sweet potatoes -people who use the word beautiful instead of hot -spoken poetry -asking boys what their favorite flower is (odds are they actually have one) -waking up on sundays and making myself breakfast -being hydrated: drink water kids -almond milk w a bit of nutmeg + cinnamon -mixing different teas (i’ve concluded that mandarin orange + ginger is v good) -knowing you somehow made someone’s day better -people who play with my hair -picture books with good plots -sparkling apple cider -asmr (lol don’t judge me) -realizing the other day that i am pretty, and if you don’t think so, that’s ok. -popping popcorn perfectly (ur welcome for the alliteration) -waking up ten minutes before your alarm -elevators arriving right as you push the button -warm winter days, today was v nice -powder blue shirts -hearing a song from ages ago and realizing that you know every word -plugging your phone in at 1% -the amount of hugs i get every day -cuddles -painting myself or people -when a boring class is over @science -watching a movie after thinking about it for a while -packing for a plane ride -new ringtones -going to the merc and getting the last muffin there -holding hands with people in a platonic way -hugs from behind -comfort food (ex. brown rice and tofu w spinach) -crème brulèe -driving at night or in the rain -the way it feels when this certain person says my name -soft hands + long fingers -mild weather -putting my hand out of the car when it’s chilly -nail-polish that peels off in one piece -messy/curly hair -new pj’s -hugs that last a while -giving birthday presents -calling my cat bean -“hannah bee” (nickname from my mam) -cinnamon gum -noice cancelling headphones -calling people by their full names -stiles stilinski falling -new soap -brown eyes -long eyelashes -soft breathing -bronze -swearing but not actually swearing (heck, darn) -fetal position anywhere -being hydrated -nose highlight -small stuffed animals -chocolate milk w straws -my sister -having paint left on my hands -light gray shirts on people -pillow forts -highways at night -bumper stickers -drinking sparkling apple cider out of wine glasses -when my room is hot + i put my hand on a cold wall -hearing my cat purr -catching people looking at me and just smiling at them -hugs that nearly make me fall over -or that squeeze so tight you have to readjust your footing -new pads of paper -dropping a toxic person/thing and feeling weightless -my new room -shopping w my sister -eating hot dogs in target w my sister -friends who ask if you’re ok randomly -when lil asks how my day went -singing fallout boy/ed sheeran/bad rap w reya -chocolate cake -washi tape + journals -kicking a ball really hard to relive stress -p4 spanish -hearing nice things people say abt me -having a messily clean room (w a few things scattered around) -walking around downtown w tea and friends -hot pockets (new discovery for me circa monday) -cracking my neck, knuckles, back -having a heater in my room and always being warm -taking my hair down when it’s still a lil damp and being able to smell shampoo -a teal 1987 ford bronco in my neighborhood -slow orchestra music -piano solos -watching mystery movies and figuring it out before the people do -subtitles -protective friends -today being the first day i haven’t felt spaced out in years -old book smell -rain-soaked hair -resting my head on someone’s warm chest or arms -the acoustic versions of songs i like -the three people who i’m ok w calling me banana -how i don’t swear unintentionally anymore -21 questions -sleeping at school -cutting pancakes into triangles -jim and pam -jelly beans -perfect pancakes -tucking my cat into the crook of my stomach -the office -empty movie theaters -coke zero w a straw -the smol boy me and kenzie became friends with -my package came today -the way my mom sings to her houseplants -being tickled -sofffftttt kitty pawssss -sleeping in really late cause i normally wake up early -golden milk -lullabies -granola w yogurt + maple syrup + cinnamon -sleeping on the ground in my moms office -big sweaters tucked into jeans -mad-libs -collaging -thin sweatshirts -drinking soup out of mugs -small straws -target hot dogs

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