#and a post was born! anyways goodbye now i have to take updated pictures of my little frillback <3

[bluestempigeons]

I keep seeing people on Beau Post say that fluffy = happy and. no. it very much does not. so here's a visual reference for anyone curious.

No puff (neutral)

Smallpuff (comfy) - note the relaxed body language and lowered wings.

Bigpuff (defensive) - note the tension in her body (tense wings, head pulled toward the body). Most pigeons will do this around the nest when they see a threat (in this case it was a chicken who wasn't anywhere near her and didn't even try anything, but Beau is a very defensive nester) and it usually is followed by a nasty wing slap and/or a bite.

You will also see pigeons stretch their necks out and flatten all their feathers when scared and ready to run, but nesting birds will usually pick fight over flight.

[forgetmenotaftg]

La Vie En Klosé

Nicky Hemmick huffed as he walked out of the gate at Berlin-Tegel after a rough Christmas at home. He was just ready to get back to his host family. The Stuttgart airport was never this crowded, so he tried his best to look confident and totally not lost as shit, and finally, with the help of the signs and his growing understanding of the German language, he made it out past the passport checks. Peering out over the crowd, Nicky saw a few people waiting around with signs and advertisements for taxis and rent-a-car services, but couldn’t spot either one of his host parents yet.

“Nicky!” he heard someone call. Nicky stood up on his tiptoes and saw who had to have been Erik Klosé standing by a shitty looking Burger King with a bouquet in his hand.

…And promptly tripped over a little girl’s bright pink suitcase.

As soon as he hit the ground, Erik was offering him a hand.

Nicky suddenly realized that he was staring. He’d seen pictures of Erik around the Klosé home, but wow. “Erik?”

“Hello, Nicky. These are for you.”

“Beautiful. I mean. They’re beautiful. The flowers,” Nicky stammered, taking the flowers and hugging them to his chest as Erik helped him up.

Erik grinned.“You’re telling me.”

-

Nicky and Erik shuffled their feet along the winding stone path ahead of them. The quiet there was almost unsettling–It felt like the only things in existence were the hundreds of lilies in the gardens around them, the two of them, and one word hanging in the air between them.

“So your parents aren’t okay with it?”

“No. In their eyes, I’m an abomination. They’re stuck perceiving the Bible the way they want to,” Nicky shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets in an effort to keep himself as small and contained as he felt.

“They don’t deserve to claim the title of ‘Christian.’ You do know that, right?” Erik said, stopping mid-step and turning to Nicky.

“I know. That doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

“I didn’t say that it should.” Erik placed a finger under Nicky’s chin and directed his gaze upward so they could make eye contact. “But hiding hurts even more, doesn’t it?”

Nicky swallowed hard and nodded wordlessly, reaching up to wrap his hand around Erik’s wrist. Before he could force the words he wanted to say out of his chest, Erik spoke up.

“Me too.”

“You’re— “

When Erik kissed him, those petal-soft lips made Nicky bloom as excitedly as lilies around him, and for the first time in a long time, Nicky felt the sun again.

-

“Erik?”

“That’s your concerned voice,” Erik said, marking his place in his book and setting it down on the nightstand next to their bed. “What’s wrong, Love?”

“I never talked about him much, but…My cousin Aaron’s mother just died in a car accident. His…You know the long-lost twin thing. Andrew was with her. He survived.”

“Oh, Baby,” Erik whispered, motioning for Nicky to join him in bed. After his boyfriend crawled in next to him, Erik wrapped his arms around Nicky and kissed his forehead. “I’m so sorry.”

“They don’t have a mother anymore,” Nicky started, then paused. “They’re not old enough to be independent yet, either. That means that they’d go to—“

“Luther and Maria.” Erik knew what that meant, as much he didn’t want to acknowledge it. “You want to go take care of them, don’t you?”

“I don’t want to leave you,” Nicky sniffled, but then his voice broke. “I—”

“You know I will respect whatever decision you make. I will be beside you the entire way, if you’ll have me, Nicky. If you want to go, that is what you’ll do. I want to make this work, and if you do, too—”

“That isn’t fair to you, Erik,” Nicky shook his head.

“Nothing is ever fair. Not wholly. I love you, and I love your heart. I trust it. Right now, it belongs somewhere else. And as long as it can share,” Erik smiled. “I don’t mind. We’ll still make time for one another. We can visit on holidays. You should go. They need you. I can wait. I will.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Says the man who is uprooting his entire life to take care of family he hardly knows. No one deserves someone as selfless and bright as you.” Erik reached over Nicky and plucked a long stem of forget-me-nots from the arrangement beside their bed. He tucked the flowers behind Nicky’s ear and kissed the end of his nose. “You won’t be able to get rid of me that easily.”

-

“Erik?”

“Any updates?”

“They found him. He’s alive. He…Well, he looks fucked, to be honest. But he’s alive, and he’s dating Andrew.”

“Holy shit.”

“I think Aaron almost had a grand mal seizure,” Nicky shook his head. “I think I actually did. Anyway. They’re with the feds working through everything. They want him to go into witness protection, but God knows we aren’t letting him go anywhere. And Andrew? I think he’d kill the next person that even looked at Neil for too long.”

“So it isn’t just physical? Andrew actually has feelings for someone?”

“Feelings might be an understatement,” Nicky teased. “He choked out Kevin over the fact that Neil was nowhere to be found.”

“That will make my next visit all the more entertaining, won’t it?”

“Speaking of, you’re still coming to the championship, right?”

“I got approved for time off and already booked the flight. I can’t wait to see you again.”

“I love you,” Nicky sighed dreamily. He could almost see Erik smiling in the stands, now. “Today just—The way Neil looked at Andrew today, it was…The same way you look at me. It was like the day you first kissed me, when you saw me for the first time. It’s…I miss you, and—Today just made me realize how quickly things can change”

“I miss you too, Nicky. I love you so much.”

“I know. I love you, Erik. Be good. Don’t get into trouble.”

Unbeknownst to Nicky, Erik popped open the small box that held Nicky’s engagement ring in his hand and closed it again. It almost made him laugh to know that Nicky would hear the click when it shut but would have no idea what it was. “I’m always good.”

“One: Bullshit. Two: Bye, Honey. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Love. Be safe.”

-

“Nicholas Esteban Hemmick, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Renee asked, closing the Bible in her hands with a soft look in her eyes.

“I do.”

“Do you have a ring for the groom?”

Neil smiled and pulled the simple platinum band out of his pocket before handing it to Nicky. Go get ‘em, he mouthed.

“Please repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed.”

“With this ring…” Nicky slid the ring onto Erik’s finger, a single happy tear running down his cheek. “I thee wed.”

“Now for the part you’ve been waiting for. By the power invested in me by the state of South Carolina, I now pronounce you to be married. Erik, you may kiss your husband.”

Only Matt and Dan’s catcalls managed to pull the two of them apart.

“You’re insatiable,” Nicky laughed breathlessly, wrapping his arms around Erik’s neck and pressing their noses together.

“What can I say? Mr. Klosé looks good on you.”

Before Nicky could speak, Erik pulled him in again.

-

“He’s smaller than I thought he would be.”

“Wyatt is just a baby, Love,” Erik chuckled, leaning over to rest his chin on his husband’s shoulder. “They’re small.”

“He was just born so early. He’s too small.” Nicky pressed his hand to the glass wall of the incubator in which their son was placed with a sigh.

“I think he takes after Andrew,” Neil smirked (despite the look Andrew gave him). “Really though, Nicky. He’s perfect. I know he’ll be alright before you take him home to Germany.”

Andrew crossed his arms and shifted his weight to one foot. “Katelyn said we—You have nothing to worry about. He’s finally eating well and he’s been gaining weight for the past week.”

“Speaking of babies, we have to go feed ours. Sir is a menace when she’s hungry,” Neil mumbled, whispering something else and receiving a nod before taking his husband’s hand.

“When we were out late for Wyatt’s birth, she tried to escape in retaliation,” Andrew nodded.

“Thank you for stopping by, you two.” Erik gently squeezed Neil’s shoulder. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Once Neil and Andrew said their goodbyes, Nicky pursed his lips and looked up at Erik. “Do you think we’re ready for this?”

“I know that we are,” Erik nodded, wrapping his arms around Nicky’s waist from behind and kissing his cheek.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Nicky, you’ve already been a parent. You were there for Andrew and Aaron when they had no one else. Because of you, they went to college. Because of you, they grew together instead of uprooting the support system you gave them. Because of you, they have a family outside of blood. You gave them all the love they never had. I have seen you love and care for people for so many years, Nicky. You are going to be an amazing father,” Erik whispered. “After everything you’ve been through and everything we’ve been through together, I think we can handle just about anything.”

Written by @reaching-my-summit, and posted here with permission.

[midzelink]

fic rec masterpost

I finally have enough fics to start compiling them in one place!  Just a few notes before we get started:

This list will be updated in the future!  I’m putting everything under a cut, so I can add, edit, and remove things to my liking.

All fics are complete, unless otherwise noted.  

Feel free to send in your own suggestions for additions!

Some of these fics didn’t have proper author-ordained summaries, so I wrote some of them up myself, or edited them to be more summary-like.

No matter how good the plot, dialogue, or prose is, no fic containing explicit sexual content (read: smut) will make it onto this list.  Sorry!  I’m not into that sort of thing.

————

And now: to the fics!

(Re: the “relationship” segment - I’ve taken to using AO3′s tag system here, so a forward slash ( / ) indicates or hints at a romance, while an ampersand ( & ) is meant to be more familial or platonic.  And don’t worry - if there’s a slash between two characters who are children, there won’t be anything nasty in there.  They’re just kids!) 

twilight princess

title: Chiaroscuro

author: Xekstrin

words: 1,861

tags: Post-Canon, Drama, Bittersweet

relationship: Link/Midna, Link/Zelda, Midna/Zelda

summary: Zelda and Link learn how to talk to each other. They paint a picture of someone they miss.

notes: Don’t shy away from that weird title!  A beautiful depiction of Link and Zelda’s life after the broken mirror that involves them continuing to live their lives.  And not, y’know, wallowing in angst.

————

title: From the Shadows

author: Ophelia_Black

words: 59,438 (**ONGOING**)

tags: Post-Canon, Alternate Ending, Marriage of Convenience

relationship: Midna/Zelda

summary: The Shadow Invasion left wounds across both Hyrule and the Twilight Realm, and neither Zelda nor Midna are eager to face the task of binding them up. Old prejudices and weaknesses are laid bare, and the idea is posed of reuniting the two realms to prosper together. Is their plan a folly born of desperation, or the most revolutionary undertaking either kingdom has seen in centuries?

notes: After putting it off for a long, long while, I finally dipped into this bad boy, and man oh man, I was not disappointed.  There is so much attention to detail and care that has gone into breathing life into a world we get such a small glimpse of in the game, and Ophelia kicks ass at writing even the simplest of actions.  Did I mention Midna and Zelda are gonna get married?

————

title: Fairytales

author: UnderTwilight

words:  515

tags: Humor, Fluff

relationship: Link/Midna

summary: Link believes he has the solution the imp-sized problem his companion faces.

notes: Short, sweet, and not as incredibly out-of-character as so many other fics like it.  Worth a minute of your time.

————

title: not irreversible

author: Elendraug

words: 3,603

tags: Post-Canon, Happy Ending

relationship: Link/Midna

summary: The Mirror’s destruction was not inevitable, but destroyed it very much was.  He’ll find his way back to her.  No matter how long it takes.

notes: The very first Midlink fic I had the pleasure of reading, and still one of my favorites.  As of this writing, the only reunion story I’ve read that didn’t feel cheap and lazy.

————

title: Bartending 101

author: khaki knight

words: 2,538

tags: Post-Canon, Drama

relationship: Link/Midna, Link/Ilia (Implied One-Sided)

summary:  “A bartender is only ever as content as her customers…” In the aftermath of Twilight, Telma receives an unexpected guest in need of some guidance.

notes: What can I say?  I love me some Telma.  Is it because she’s a bartender?  That’s it, isn’t it?  I blame the DnD lover in me.

————

title: Seeing You

author:  KaeStela

words: 840

tags: Post-Canon, Bittersweet

relationship: Link/Midna

summary:  Maybe "see you later" can happen after all.

notes: Who knew that first-person could be written well after all?  This is the kind of stuff I live for.  Thematic, succinct, mute Link, happy but not “she found her way back after like a year and they got married and had babies” happy.  Simply beautiful. 

————

title: The Ever Under

author: AzarDarkstar

words: 2,031

tags: Alternate Ending, Drama

relationship: Link/Midna

summary:  In a world where Link followed Midna through the Mirror of Twilight, now shattered beyond repair, happy endings are what we make of them.

notes: This one hits hard.  That’s all I’ll say.

————

title: No Such Counsel

author: Guardian1

words: 2,753

tags: Post-Canon, Drama

relationship: Link/Midna, Link/Zelda (Implied One-Sided)

summary:  “Wolf or dog, what does it matter?” “Dogs, Princess–dogs wait forever!”

notes: Admittedly, I don’t much like the way Zelda is characterized here (TP Zelda is obviously a lesbian, and damn, leave poor Ashei alone!), but I’m including it because it’s written fairly well and the ending is humorous and clever.

————

title: You

author: godtierGrammarian

words: 4,272

tags: Alternate Universe (Modern), Happy Ending

relationship: Link/Midna

summary:  When Link is eight, new neighbors move in across the street, and so begins the greatest adventure of his life.

notes: This fic was so damn good I made a FF.net account right after I read it for the first time just so I could review it.  Can you believe that?  Making a FF.net account in 2019?  I didn’t even think a modern AU could be good!

————

title: no matter how long it takes

author: Elendraug

words: 1,128

tags: Mid-Canon, Fluff

relationship: Colin/Ralis

summary:  Colin promises to watch over a sick Prince Ralis after he is brought to Kakariko.

notes: This is one of the first rarepairs I ended up getting swept up into around the time I first started this blog.  I am eternally grateful that even a single fic exists, and that is was written but the same person who wrote not irreversible, because that’s just damn good writing.  Anyways, Colin is a Young Gay, change my mind.

————

majora’s mask

title: King of the Fishing Hole

author: Ibijau

words: 4,281

tags: Alternate Universe, PTSD

relationship: Link & Ganondorf

summary: Ganondorf owns the Swamp Fishing Hole, a good way to stay near his aging mothers. It's quiet work. Until the moon starts falling, and an odd child comes visiting.

notes: Ganondorf is just A Dude in Termina - honestly, this is how the game should have been.  A real missed opportunity there.  This was such a fun and interesting read, so much so that it earns its spot as the first non-TP fic on this list!

————

minish cap

title: Stoneheart

author: Ophelia_Black

words: 6,675

tags: Canon Compliant, Angst with a Happy Ending

relationship: Link & Zelda

summary:  The prophetic visions and blind musings of Princess Zelda as she waits, sealed in stone, for a rescue that might never arrive.

notes: I’ve never given Minish Cap much more than a single playthrough without a spare thought, and this made me cry. You’d think a story told from the point of view of someone who has been turned to stone would be boring.  You’d think wrong.

————

other

title: Don’t Say That I Didn’t Love You

author: Ophelia_Black

words: 4,000

tags: Canon Compliant, Angst & Hurt/Comfort

relationship: Midna/Zelda, Link/Midna, Hilda/Zelda, Link/Marin

summary:  It’s hard to say goodbye. A series of 500 word drabbles, in which final farewells are said to Fi, Ezlo, Navi, Tatl, Midna, Aryll, Marin, and Princess Hilda.

notes: Like it says on the tin.  There’s not much I can say here, except, y’know, read it, because everything Ophelia puts to paper is pure gold.  Spoiler alert: the Link’s Awakening one hurts the most.

[got7-markjinson]

Strawberries and Chocolates

Pairing: JB x Reader x Yugyeom Genre: Fluff; Warnings: None!

You were in love with your childhood friend, Im Jaebum for as long as you can remember. But you have been keeping it a secret which slipped out one drunken night with him. Avoiding the awkward confrontation, you employed your neighbor Kim Yugyeom to pretend to be your boyfriend.

A/N: As I post this, they just released film teaser and I’m screaming/crying! @katdefbeom @parkhabits HELP!

Read: Chapter 1, Chapter 3(END)

Chapter 2

“A dancer, huh?”, Kat repeated when Yugyeom answered her question on what he does for a living. You’re all currently inside a tailor shop, having a fitting for the dresses and suits of the bridesmaids and groomsmen. It was supposed to only be you who was required to go, but Kat insisted you bring your new “boyfriend” with you.

You were nervous at first, but after introducing Yugyeom to everyone, they seem to welcome him. It didn’t even occur to you that Yugyeom is a very charming person. Somehow you always thought of him as this annoying neighbor and nothing more. But you even got a few looks of approval from your girl friends when they saw how he looked like. Looking at him closer, you realize, maybe he is handsome. Plus his height adds to his points, too.

“Yeah, I do all types of dances but I’m currently teaching street dance at the JYP studio.”, he added.

“Wow! JYP studio! I’m impressed. It’s really a famous studio for dancers.”, Mark chimed in. “I have a few friends who go there for some of their classes.”

“Really? That’s good news for us then!”, Kat clapped her hands. “Maybe you can help us for our dance rehearsal!”

“Dance rehearsal?”

“Yeah. We’re actually planning for a dance at the reception where everyone of our close friends dance with us. That is, if you’re not too busy, of course.”

“Oh, no problem!”, Yugyeom grinned. “If it’s for Y/N’s friends, just let me know so I can make time to help out.”

Kat smiled at Yugyeom’s remark. She’s so happy to see and hear that Yugyeom really cares for her friend.

Meanwhile, inside the dressing area, you were reaching for the zipper of your bridesmaid dress. You were facing the mirror, your back towards the door, when you heard someone come in.

“Need any help with that?”

You turned around to see it was JB. “What are you doing here?”

He chuckled and stepped closer to help you zip up the dress. “I was dying to see how you look like.”

“You mean, you were dying to make fun of how I would look like.”, you corrected and turned to face him again.

He laughed a little more and you see his eyes disappear into crescents again which never fails to make your heart flutter, “That was the plan.”, he said and with both his hands holding each side of your arms, he takes another look at you in the dress. “But you actually don’t look all that bad.”

Your eyes squinted, waiting for the catch, the punchline to the joke. But it never came. He just looked at you with a content smile on his face and you felt your cheeks blush.

Wanting to get rid of the awkwardness, you focused your attention to the tie laying lazily around his neck, “What did you with this?”, you laughed and tried to tie it for him. “Don’t tell me you still don’t know how to tie this.”

“And you do?”, he asked.

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

“I didn’t know that.”, he looked at you in wonderment.

“Well, Mr. Im Jaebum, there’s a lot of me you probably don’t know about, anymore.”, you tapped the tie on his chest, looking satisfied with how it turned out.

Just then, Yugyeom opened the curtains to your dressing area, “Y/N, are you done?”

You and JB turned to look at him in surprise and quickly took a step back from each other.

“Yup. We were just about to go out.”, you answered.

JB nodded to Yugyeom and stepped ahead.

“What was he doing here?”, Yugyeom whispered to you.

“Just saying hello.”, you answered and followed JB out the dressing area.

After Kat checked on all the dresses, she sat back down beside Mark. She asked Yugyeom, “So what do you think of how our Y/N looks? She looks better in a dress, doesn’t she?”, she teased.

“I don’t know.”, Yugyeom answered with his eyes on you and you’re signaling something in the lines of ‘answer nicely, or you’re dead!’, he grinned. “I actually think she looks better when she wakes up in the morning with her messy hair and sleepy eyes.”

You can hear Kat and a few of the other bridesmaids, squeal from Yugyeom’s remark. Yugyeom gave you a quick wink before grinning, pleased with himself.

**

After a few days, you were surprised when Kat setup another meetup at a dance studio near your place, whose name is familiar to you, but you can’t remember why. You came in and was ushered into one of the rooms. It was dark at first with only a light shining on one person at the center. A song started playing in the background and you can see how the dancer in front smoothly started moving.

When he turned around, you finally saw that it was none other than Yugyeom. You were caught in surprise. He was totally different from how you pictured him to be. It felt like he’s really born to dance, and you can’t help but admire how well he performed. You were speechless the entire time until the song ended, and all the lights went on. You saw your friends were also already there watching with you and applauded.

Yugyeom saw you and gave you his signature puppy look smile, and you smiled back.

Kat revealed about the plans to have the entourage dance with her and Mark during the reception and that is why you were called here. To practice dancing. And now your palms are sweating, predicting all the embarrassment you are going to have when everyone will see you have two left feet.

The next hours were spent on Yugyeom teaching you and your friends the dance to the surprise performance. You thought Yugyeom would tease you because of how slow you were compared to the others, but you were surprised with how patient he actually was with you. He even praises you when you get the step correctly, even if it’s not that good.

Thankfully, the practice ended, and everyone bade their goodbye and thanked teacher Yugyeom.

“You got quite a catch there, Y/N. I’ll make sure you catch the bouquet at the wedding.”, Kat whispered to you before leaving you and Yugyeom standing at the curb in front of the dance studio.

You just now noticed Yugyeom was holding your hand when he pulled you to walk towards your apartment building. You looked at it, how big his hands were enwrapped with yours. You looked at his back, you just now realize how wide and tall he is. Just the boyfriend material, if you didn’t know him any better.

“Why are you so quiet?”, he asked. “Dancing made you tired?”

“I’m sorry I’m not as used to dancing as you are, Teacher Yugyeom.”, you mocked, and he laughed. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re going to teach us dancing?”

“I thought it would be a good surprise for you.”, he grinned. “Plus, I don’t think you would’ve approved.”

“What do you mean?”

“Of me, being around you and your friends as much as necessary.”, he clarified.

You nodded but didn’t deny.

“I’m actually surprised with one of your friends, was it JB?”, he added.

You looked at him, waiting for what he’s going to say about him. Your JB.

“He danced so well. I would’ve thought he’s a dancer, too.”

“Oh”, you nodded and Yugyeom noticed how you smiled proudly to yourself. “Yeah, he’s cool like that.”

When you reached your door, Yugyeom asked, “Hey, can I take a shower at your place first? My shower is still acting up and I wanted to clean before sleeping.”

“Yeah sure. I’m gonna watch TV before sleeping anyway.”, you settled on the couch as he returned to your apartment with a towel and change of clothes.

After showering, he saw you all sprawled out on the couch, asleep. He chuckled at how carefree you were. He turned off the TV and took the remote slowly out of your hands. Raising your hands over to his shoulder, he carried you into your bedroom and tucked you in.

He brushed the hair away from your face and grinned when he saw you smiled in your sleep.

**

The next day, you woke up to see a chat from JB.

JB: “Do you have any plans today?”

You typed back, “I have work until 6.”

JB: “Can we meet up after?”

You typed back, “Sure.”

**

You arrived at the restaurant JB reserved and saw he’s already there waiting for you. He stood up when you walked closer and gave you a hug.

It was pretty casual at first, ordering food, eating, having small talks, and updates on the KatMark wedding plans. After dinner, you both walked at a nearby park.

“Five cats???”, you asked in shock and he laughed at how you reacted. “How could you live with five cats?”, you asked again.

“Remember when we were young, we both wanted cats?”

“I remember. But I didn’t think it would be that many!”

He laughed again. “Jen was against cats. So, I guess when we broke up, I splurged.” And with the mention of Jen, you both got quiet. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about me and Jen breaking up.”

You shook your head, “No, it’s okay. I’m the one who was unreachable.” You say.

“You say that, but…”, he began. “I actually avoided you back then too.”

It was the first time you heard it. “I didn’t tell you that me and Jen broke up because I don’t want to tell you why we broke up in the first place.”, he said.

“The truth is, she was really jealous of you. I have put you in a pedestal that she said I wouldn’t be able to love anyone. And I kept telling her she’s wrong about it. That you are special to me but not in that way. But she keeps comparing herself to you. Saying things like, if it was you who did that, I wouldn’t have been mad, or if it was you I’m with, I would have been happier.”

“When we broke up, I thought about it, and maybe she was right. I have loved you for far too long, maybe I just needed to tell you that and everything would be fine. Which is why, I was really excited for the reunion.”

He smiled, trying to compose himself as he tells you this. “Don’t worry, I know you already have Yugyeom. Who I think is really a great person, by the way. I don’t want to ruin that. I just wanted you to know… “, he paused. “When you told me that you loved me back in the bar at that reunion, I thought that was my chance to finally confess my feelings too. But I guess I was too late.”

“I guess what I’m saying is… I’m glad you found him. I see the way he takes care of you. Just forgive me for being a little bitter that it wasn’t me but know that I’m really happy for you.”, You can see the sadness in his smile and your guilt was creeping up into you again.

You couldn’t say anything. You couldn’t really say you and Yugyeom’s relationship is not real. No, you were already in too deep to go back now. Tears are starting to form from your eyes and you summoned all your will not to let it drop.

**

You were about to put your keys into the door knob when you were startled to see Yugyeom standing in front of his door just a few paces from you.

“It’s really unfair you’re telling me not to date anyone when I see you’re dating someone else.”, he said. His face serious, different from how he usually is.

“What do you mean? JB?”, you asked. “No, that’s not a date Gyeom.”

“It isn’t? Then why do I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me?”, he asked. Please tell me I’m just being paranoid, he said to himself.

“Look, Gyeom.”, you say. “You never asked me why I asked you to pretend to be my boyfriend. I think you need to know why so you understand.”

You walked to the mini playground of your apartment building. You both sat side by side on the swing set under the night sky to talk.

“JB was my childhood friend and I’ve loved him since forever.”, you confessed. “When we graduated from college and had work, he started dating a girl named Jen. The first time I heard of it, my heart was torn to pieces. I know I deserved that, since I never really did anything to tell him about my feelings. And I know I couldn’t bear seeing them together, so I avoided him. When I saw him again at that high school reunion,”, you breathed in. “…my stupid drunken self, confessed to him. About how I fell for him. But I can’t go through with him confronting me about it. So, I took the coward’s route. I told him I already have a boyfriend.” You sighed. “I was so afraid of what he would say or what would happen, I just wanted to let it be the same as it is.”

“Hmmmm...”, Yugyeom thought for a few seconds after you spoke. “I think your fear is invalid. I think if you straight ahead and tell him your feelings he would accept and reciprocate it.”

“I’m afraid of that too.”, you replied.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been living my life thinking of this perfect “what ifs” with him. He was that dream, the ideal thing I have in my life. I’m afraid when we get together, it wouldn’t live up to it. and if we end it, I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to get him back as a friend.”

“Well, nobody knows that. Nobody knows what would happen, right? You just have to take a leap. Afterall, wouldn’t reality with him a million times better than your perfect “what ifs”?”

You sit and stared at Yugyeom for a moment. You wonder where he found wisdom to speak like that. It gave you a lot to think about. You’re thankful you had that conversation. You somehow see him in a new light. He’s not that annoying neighbor anymore but rather this smart, reliable friend/pretend-boyfriend. 

**

A/N: Dear reader, when you reach this, please help me decide who y/n ends up with. Team Yugyeom or Team JB ^_^

[aescapisms]

dear lucas (4)

pairing: luke hemmings x ofc

word count: 3.2k

summary: When Luke receives a letter from a person who broke his heart 2 years ago, he realises that he never really fell out of love from this girl, and will do anything to bring her back.

a/n: my tag list is open! just message me :)

Ashton found Luke sleeping on the couch holding Chloe’s letter close to his heart, gripping it as if he was holding Chloe and if he didn’t hold on tight, she would somehow be taken away from him.

It pained Ashton to see him like this and it broke his heart knowing that he was a part of the reason why he’s suffering. All of this because of a promise; Ashton hated himself for that because he can’t break a promise he made and Chloe used that to her advantage, but after years of keeping it, he understood why he did it.

Calum saw him looking at Luke and so he told Ashton that he wanted to talk.

So they went outside and did just that.

“Is she okay?” Calum asked, hinting the worry for his ‘sister’

“Yeah. She is.” Ashton sighed and added “For now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t tell you. I’m sorry.”

“Well, does she know how Luke is holding up? He’s a mess. The guy from 2 years ago is showing up.”

“DO you really think that Chloe isn’t suffering herself?” Ashton got defensive of her, because he knew.

“How would you know?”

“I just do okay? And I can tell you that if you can see Luke suffering like that, Chloe is suffering even more.”

“Then why don’t they just get back together? They clearly love each other. Why does she have to make it so complicated?” Calum asked Ashton.  “Why did she break up with Luke? There, just answer that last question.”

“If you want to know why ask Luke.”

“Ask Luke what?” Michael interrupted.

“Why Chloe and Luke broke up.”

“Oh. Well stop it. He’s looking for you guys. I think there’s something wrong with him.”

It wasn’t something though.

Everything is wrong with Luke.

“I want to find her.” Luke stated before they could ask what’s wrong.

“No.” Ashton stated.

“Why not? She wants to be found!” Luke yelled at Ashton.

“You read her letter right? Because I am sure as hell that she would tell you not to find her.” Ashton stated confidently.

“Well then you clearly don’t know her that well because Chloe always---always wants to be found and I will find her.”

“Luke—“

“Why does it seem that you don’t want me to find her? What is it that you’re so fucking afraid of for me to see?” Luke lashed out because he’s had enough. Usually it was Ashton who will tell him to do things, especially involving Chloe, but for the last few years Ashton became a totally different person.

Luke thought that he was a different person, little did he know that Ashton became one.

Ashton was clearly fuming too because he just screamed the words “Because you won’t like what you will fucking see!”

And they all became silent.

Till Ashton’s phone rang and the caller ID read Chloe.

He answered it immediately in hopes that he would calm down when he hears that she’s fine.

“Chloe?” the three boys turned to look at him but they knew by the look on Ashton’s face that it wasn’t Chloe.

“It’s Amy. I’m worried Ash.”

“Is that her??” Luke asked, Ashton shook his head.

“Why?” Ashton asked Amy.

Amy told Ashton her worries, and Ashton assured her that it will be all right; She would be all right.

The call ended after that.

“I need to find her.” Luke confessed.

“We all do, but Luke, we’ve got shows and—“

“Fuck the shows Calum. She would—“

“Want you to do the show Luke.”  Michael spoke up after a long time. “The only time I’ve seen her so happy besides being with you was when she’s watching us perform live.”

“but she…”

“She will watch the concert” Ashton said the words so quietly as if it was a secret he was afraid to share. “She always does.”

“She does?” Calum asked, Ashton nodded.

“How do you know?”

“She promised us right? I thought it was a joke but, there are times that I’ve seen her in the V.I.P section.”

“Then let’s use that to our advantage!” Michael spoke up, “Let’s you know hand out pictures of her or post a picture of her on Twitter asking people to look at her in our shows, or practically anywhere.” The other three fell silent contemplating the idea that Michael handed “Come on. We were born with these technologies, let’s not waste it.”

And so they did. A picture of Chloe circulated the internet, others trying to find her and others trying to find information about her.

It trended on Twitter with the hashtag ‘FindingChloe’.

Michael, Luke, Ashton and Calum spent hours on the internet looking at what people tweeted or if there are pictures of her, anything that would give them hope.

The other half of the fandom that is gathering information about Chloe Lyle ended up with only her Name, and Birthday. She didn’t have Facebook, Twitter or Tumblr. They did find an Instagram account but it was private with 0 following, and 124 posts and 1 follower.

What they didn’t know was that, Chloe deleted herself in the internet 2 years ago when she started dating Luke.

Because she knew their potential and she was afraid of being exposed in the internet.

“HOW’S IT GOING MANILA!!”  Calum asked the whole arena shouted.

“Okay. Calum you asked that for like 5 times now.” Michael remarked and everyone else laughed.

“So, this next song is a very special song that our dear friend Luke will give the introduction to.”

The whole arena chanted Luke’s name and so he smiled. Maybe not like the way he used to, but it was a start.

“This next song, is a very special song. It’s about a special girl—-“ The crowd went wild. Everyone was expecting to hear a name but all they got was “—girl named Amnesia.”

All of them laughed, even Ashton.

“I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted.”

Everyone sang along to the words but they can hear a certain sadness in Luke’s voice. It didn’t escape their cunning eyes the way Luke scanned the crowd looking for a certain someone.

Luke scanned the crowd.

And standing there, looking at him is Chloe Lyle, the most important girl in his life.

Before the encore, Chloe made her way out.

She always leaves before the last song because she doesn’t want to hear them say good bye. There’s been too many goodbyes in her life, she doesn’t think that she can handle any more of it.

On her way out, she noticed a lot of people waiting outside, the unlucky ones who didn’t get a chance to buy a ticket.

Another thing that she noticed was that, a girl kept on staring at her. Trying to recognize the face that she was wearing. Chloe stopped looking at the girl and decided to go home. She was travelling and she needed to go to the next country.

She didn’t know about how half of the fans of 5 Seconds of Summer was looking for her. She didn’t know that, but in a little while later her sister, Amy would.

Twitter Update

   #FindingChloe 781k people are talking about this

“Luke!” Michael shouted, “Someone posted a picture of her!” the three lads came dashing to the couch where Michael was sitting.

“Where?” Luke asked the grabbed Michael’s phone.

“ LOL5SOS @5sosplswtf

   “OMFG I SAW HER SHE’S SO BEAUTIFUL. #FindingChloe”

 LOL5SOS @5sosplswtf

   “#FindingChloe Just outside the Arena, wearing skinny jeans a white shirt and a leather jacket. #IFoundHer pic/QitfLj”

“8:41 PM? That’s before the encore”  Calum deduced, “She—She left before the encore. Ashton what are you doing?”

“Amy is bombarding my phone with texts. I think she found out.”

“I’m gonna go outside see if she’s still there.”

“She’s not there anymore.” Michael told him after checking his phone for the 4th time.

“Someone tweeted.”

      “Shine @youremyshiningstar

           “Thank you @5SOS it was an amazing show! heading back to L.A now. pic.t/QitjYr”

“This girl took a selfie and Chloe was sitting right beside her on a plane bound for L.A.” Michael told him after seeing a couple hundred of retweets as regards to the picture.

“Why is she heading back to L.A?” Michael asked.

“Manila is the last one for our Asian tour after that we’ll be on a break right?”  Calum said remembering the details.

“I’m going back to L.A tonight.” Luke announced.

“Luke, don’t be an idiot stay here and we’ll figure this out okay? Just, go get some rest and we’ll head to L.A tomorrow at 10 A.M.” Ashton told him, Luke was about to protest but the way Ashton said those words made him stop.

He looked at Michael and Calum, the exhaustion from the show can be seen from their faces even though they’re smiling.

“I’m sorry.” Luke apologized “It’s just that…I really want to see her you know. I  have so many questions and I really need some answers.” Luke sighed “When it comes to her I just—I don’t know, its like everything fades away and seeing her is all I could ever think about.” The boys looked at him in awe, “So I’m sorry.”

For the first time since this happened, Ashton laughed. “All of us in here knows how much you love her, don’t you think that we wouldn’t do anything for you guys? I was hesitant at first because it was something that I promised to Chloe, and you guys know how much I hate breaking promises, so I guess I would like to apologize for that too.” Ashton took his jacket and slung it on his shoulders, “But I’m also going to apologize in advance if I won’t give any information that I know about her, not this time.”  He then went out of the room and sent a message to the person in question—Chloe.

Then

“Chloe!” Luke shouted.

“What do you want this time? I’m trying to study for fuck’s sake.”

“Oh?” Luke asked taking a seat beside her, “What subject?”

“Chemistry, we’ll have our midterms the day after tomorrow and this is the first time that I opened my notes.” Chloe told him with a hint of annoyance that is directed to herself. “Do you need any help?” Luke asked her, knowing that she’s probably pissed at herself for opening her notes in a crucial time such as this.

“No, I’m fine. Anyway, what did you want to talk about?”

He looked at herand smiled “Let’s just talk about it after your exams, I don’t want it to mess up with your brain.”

“YA! What did you mean mess up with my brain??” Chloe shouted and swatted his head with the notes she’s been reviewing for the past hour. “I’m telling you this now, so listen carefully.” She said calming her nerves, then looked at him and smiled mischievously “If you’re planning to break-up with me, let it go. I’m not gonna let that happen, I love you too damn much.”

IT wasn’t Luke’s inention to break-up with her, nor has it ever crossed his mind. “Well, what if we get into a really big fight?” He asked. She took the ballpen and twirled it around her fingers, “Then we’ll talk it out. If there’s a problem we’re going to fix it.And if I push you away, because I tend to do that—-” He took her hand and interlaced their fingers which made her smile. “And if you…” he started and made her face him “…if you push me away, I’ll grab your hands and pull you closer because there will be no ‘pushing you away’ in this relationship. We’re in this together.”

Chloe’s face felt hot and suddenly turned red. “We won’t be together for the summer if I fail an exam so go and scoot because I have to study and I really want to spend my summer with you. We’ll be together for the whole summer.”

Luke laughed and stood up. “I’ll go now, call me when you need a ride home.”

“What kind of nonsense are you spouting? You can’t drive, besides I’ll be fine. Bye.” Luke pouted but kissed her forehead, he didn’t want to go but Chloe needed to study. “I love you. See you later.”  He then left her without telling her about the band’s decision to move to London.

“But…what if Chloe breaks up with me? What if she can’t handle the long distance…what if…” Luke expressed his thoughts to guys during a band practice.

“Luke, she already told you that you guys are not going to break up. Do you really think that she’s going to break up with you? Just because you want to pursue your dreams?” Ashton told him while he was taping up his drums.

“What if all those times that we’ll spend together she’s going to find someone better then break up with me?”

Michael laughed as if he heard the funniest joke ever made.

“Dude, there are so many times that she already met someone better. But what did she do? She didn’t even bat an eye, she’s in love with you, give her some credit.”

“Luke, before imagining those stuffs, you must first tell Chloe about this okay?” Calum told him.

“Tell me about what?” Chloe asked when she appeared in the front door.

“Chloe..” Luke started off.

“You’re not seriously thinking of breaking up with me are you? Because that speech earlier would’ve been so awkward.” Chloe told him as she took a seat at the couch where Michael was. “No, that’s not it, it’s something serious.”

“Holy shit. You’re not dying aren’t you?”

Luke face-palmed, since she has to know the truth he decided to just break it out. “Chloe, the band’s moving to London.”

‘Oh’ was the only thing that came out of Chloe’s mouth. Then she became completely silent. The others began to worry. They’re really close to Chloe and treat her like a part of the family but if she’s really against this they wouldn’t know what to do.

“When are you guys leaving?” She asked after an eerie silence.

“Next Sunday.” Ashton told her.

“Okay. I’m going to go home right now…” Chloe muttered.

“Chloe.”

“I have to go. I’ll call you.” Chloe smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Ashton held Luke back because he had every intention of following her, and knowing Chloe, she wouldn’t like that.

Chloe didn’t call the next day so Luke did, however Amy was the one to pick up the call and not the one he intended to.

“Luke? What did you do this time?”

“What? She’s crying. Oh god.”

“What? No she’s not—“

“What do you mean?”

“She didn’t go home till late last night. She came from the library—“

“She didn’t she was with me last night”

“Then how would you explain all the books that she carried last night?”

“What do you mean?”

“She put all of her electronics in my room and told me to not disturb her because she’ll be studying. Did you guys have one of your bets again?”

“What no! She’s studying? She didn’t say anything?”

“Yeah. She’ll only come out of the room to eat and that would be exactly 20 minutes everyday. We see her for roughly an hour per day. I don’t think she sleeps. So tell me what happened?”

“N-Nothing..I’m going to hang up now.”

“What did she say?” Ashton asked.

“It was Amy. And she said that Chloe locked herself up in her room because she was studying…”

“Really? Maybe she’s lying? Maybe she’s crying.” Michael told him not making the situation any better so Calum threw a pair of boxers at him and said “Shut up.”

Luke tried to go to her house on Monday to wish her good luck for her exams but she wasn’t there. They said that she left early for school because her exam starts at 7 A.M. Which was odd because her exams should start around noon.

“Give her some space man.” Michael said as they entered the cafe where it all started. It was already 4 in the afternoon and Chloe still hasn’t contacted them.

“Oh. Luke! What are you doing here?” Jane asked. “Shouldn’t you be at the school? Chloe would need some serious cheering.”

“What do you mean?” Ashton asked clearly confused.

“She’s taking all of her exams today right? That’s why she told me that she wouldn’t attend work for this week.”

“The whole week? Wait…She took the tests today? All of it?” Calum asked surprised “That must’ve been 7 subjects”

“It was 9 subjects.” Jane corrected him.

“Why would she do that? She’s going to fail!”

“No. She’s not.” Joey told him, “She’s a really bright student you know. You didn’t know that she’s the top of her class?”

“Yeah. I know that but to take on 9 subjects for a day? That’s suicide! Her parents would surely—“

“You still don’t know about her photographic memory?” Jane asked him.

Joey laughed and said “She has photographic memory, well a bit. And on top of that she’s a really intelligent kid.”

“Why isn’t she the top 1 in her grade then?”

“That’s because she doesn’t even bother to study. She’s busy working for Amy, since she went here 6 months ago because she doesn’t want to live with their parents anymore. CHloe’s the one supporting Amy’s education and the one teaching her, on top of that she has to remain in the top 5 of the class becasue she applied for the scholarship.” Jane explained like it was a known fact.

“You’re her boyfriend right? Then why is it that you have no idea about these stuffs about her?” Joey asked.

“She—“

“Aish. You know how she is. She wouldn’t bother him with stuffs like that especially now.” Jane said smacking his brother.

She was going through these kinds of hardships and he was too pre-occupied to see it. They were in a relationship and he was only focused on his dreams when in fact he should’ve been focused on both of their dreams.

“Dante was wrong. Because this day was from the 10th circle of hell.” Chloe appeared at the door and Luke immediately hugged her.

“What the hell were you thinking?”

She looked confused then let go of his hug. “Well, I was thinking that if I finish the exams in one day I would be able to spend my week with you.”

“You—You weren’t mad?”

She laughed “Why would I be mad? This is your dream, and I will support you.”

“But this will be a pretty big change. For me, for us.” Luke told her as they sat down.

“Look.” She said holding his hand, “Whatever change you might need I will be there with you through it all, I won’t ask you to never change because not changing would mean not growing. As an artist you must grow in order to explore stuffs needed in you music. I love you, okay? And I will never leave your side.”

Calum, Michael and Ashton sat there in stunned silence thinking about what Luke did in his past or present life to deserve a girl like Chloe.

Little did they know, Luke asks that question every single day. 

next part [the lying game]

[worldofthrea]

Info Dump

What I have so far for my ficitional country, (Threa)

It is Post-America, but its a post america where we have resolved all issues of race, gender, money, and pretty much anything else, so now all people can complain about is clothing, and in response to the newest form of hate, the gov (needs a new name[bols?{like bolts of fabric}]) has decided to seperate everyone based on what clothes they wear. This idea soon spread to the other parts of the world and most countries have joined in Threa (To be exact, Canada, France, Spain, Italy, Portugal, Germany, UK?)

So essentially there is a seperation between punk, scene, pastel, boho, vintage, and so on. Also for each subculture within the fashion, there are different places of living. Kind of like apartments.

If you want to move in a different sector if you are a minor you have to sign papers and go through a huge and very long interview process to try and find a host family to take you in. If you are an adult you have to send a notice of leave to the sect leader, and the sect leader will send you a note with a signature and a seal of the sect, then you are able to leave. But finding a new place to live in the sect you are moving to is a huge pain in the ass.

There is a police force (I may call them seq [sequins]) and they should be kind and caring police force (Should is always the key word) If you are a minor going to a new sect the police will approach you and take you to your host family so that you arrive there safely. If you are wearing clothes of another sect and are not visiting another sect, you will be approached by police.

On the outskirts of Threa there is a sect called The Mix, honestly the name of the sect states what fashion the sect is, its a mix of different fashions. People either go there to live, or to sell clothes so visitors can wear the clothes of whatever sect that they are visiting or moving to, or they can live in the mix and wear whatever they feel like. People who live in sects other than The Mix think that people who live there are horrendous (mixing clothes is looked down upon)

There is conflict betweeen sects, but mostly its just in the form of name calling, no physical violence actually happens.(Or at least thats what the Seq and Bols have the people believe{Cause the media loves not showing certain things)

Since the only type of hate is towards other fashions, its more widely accepted for Cas to be genderfluid.

The internet is still a thing, and is a part of every sector, no matter how the sector dresses (Even Vinta has the internet){even Pas}

My OCs all met through Topis and began a friendship, they formed their group after Iris took in Aphris, Thalia is the leader of their group.

My OCs are Cas, Aphris, Sophitia, Iris, And Thalia, and Bree

Still need to ask other people to make OCs

Where each one of my OCs belongs originally Cas= Fae Aphris= Gree Sophitia= Hau Iris= Gree (Lives with Aphris, Aphris moved to Gree from Pas {a small inner sect of Vinta}) Thalia=Punk (She takes in Cas, Cas is 17 so still a minor) Bree= The Mix

Some names I've come up with for Threa Threa= What this Nation is called Seq= Police Force Bols= Government The Mix= Place on outskirts when people can mix fashions, also where people can buy clothes for either moving or visiting Fae= Pastel sector (basing the name on the word fade, which is what people think pastel is, fading colors) Gree=Bohemian sector, very hippie-ish. Pas= subsector of Vinta, trying to recreate the way back fashion of Ancient Greece Vinta= (No not trying to make a dragon age reference to Tevinter{that would be really bad/stupid}) Vinta is the Vintage sector, it has many apartment like structures due to how diverse it is, actually one of the biggest sects, most labor comes from there and Gree. Topis= What we now call the internet Hau= High fashion sector Al= (pronounced 'all') Al is the Alternative fashion sector, and their subsections and divisions within those subsections almost rival Vinta in terms of number. Reb= The punk subsection for sector Al, has a great deal of divisions in it, like cyreb {cyber punk} and faereb {pastel punk} these divisions are not seen as a mix, since they were a fashion of their own in the before time [US] Cyreb= Cyber punk Faereb= Pastel punk Mim= Place for cosplayers of all kind

Backstories for my OCs.

Cas: Cas was born into sector Fae, they were afab, but they always felt like something wasnt right about them, one day they were on Topis and researching genders and sexualities and that was how the found out that they were genderfluid. They came out to their family and their father instantly accepted the fact that Cas was genderfluid, and Cas's mother accepted it but acts very awkwardly around her child. At the age of 16 Cas had started to notice that they weren't comfortable with the clothes they were wearing. Cas informed their parents, and though initially their parents could not accept this, their father understood and started to help Cas in filling out the necessary paperwork to move Cas into the Reb subsector of the Al sector. They had trouble in finding someone to take Cas in, since in the Reb sector not many adults were seen as responsible enough to take care of younger people. Cas one day complained about it in the group chat they and their friends had made, and Thalia pretty much said "Seriously? Twerp you could've just told me, I live in the Reb subsect." So after that Thalia started the paperwork to take in Cas. The paperwork was finished and Cas was approved to move to Reb. Cas said goodbye to their father, their mother now wanted nothing to do with them. Cas went to Sector Al, and Thalia was there, ready to take Cas to their new home. Thalia had a room and clothes for Cas ready. One day when Thalia was out, Cas went snooping through her things, she found some pictures of a girl and a letter that said "Bree is still doing well, stay silent and good and nothing will happen to her." Later when Thalia came home, Cas asked her about the letter and picture, initially Thalia flipped her shit and yelled at Cas for going through her things. After two days of not talking through each other, both Thalia and Cas had apologized for their actions. Thalia then explained about her past and about Bree. Cas was shocked at the news, she had thought that everyhing was perfect in Threa, Thalia made Cas promise to keep what she had told Cas a secret, and Cas agreed. Cas now knows more than she ever wanted to know about Threa.

Aphris: Aphris was born into Pas, one of the inner communities of sector Vinta. Her name is a mix of the Goddesses Aphrodite and Artemis (I am considering making her last name Apstus, based on Hepheastus and Apollo) Aphris was born into her sector and raised among those who wanted to see one of the old ways of life restored to its former glory, she eventually came to not like how her life was, so she wanted to move and change fashion. Aphris had looked online and decided she liked the fashion that belonged to sector Gree. She informed of her parents of her decision to move to a different sector, and they were very much upset... They forced Aphris into staying in her home and repeatedly abused her. Though little did they know that while they slept Aphris had started the process of moving online and, once all the paperwork had been finished and Aphris had found a resident of sector Gree to take her in, she informed the Seq of what her parents were doing to her. The Seq then came and arrested her parents, and Aphris went to live with Iris, she still has many mental health prolbems and flinches a lot if anyone raises their voice to her.

Sophitia: Is a resident of sector Hau, she has lived in a life of sophistication (Her name did not come from the word sophisticated, it honestly came from a video game) and class, on the outside she is the perfect representation of a resident of sector Hau, but she frequently goes to The Mix, she loves dressing in a mix, but knows if she were to tell her family they would be devestated and disown her.(need to write more and flesh her out more)

Iris: Iris is Trans and is a resident of Sector Gree, she has lived a generally easy life, thanks to the problems of the old world being outdated, she works as an herbalist and helps in making medicines for all of Threa. She was contacted by Aphris when Aphris was looking for a place to live. Iris gladly accepted the younger girl into her home, and helped her heal the wounds and scars(physical, mental, and emotional) left from her old home. Aphris sees Iris as her true mother, and Iris has happily accepted her role as mother to Aphris.

Thalia: (Ah my mental state, the one who has seen me through all my bullshit){you done yet?}(Yes) Anyways, Thalia is the oldest member of the online group, she is a resident of subsector Reb in sector Al, she has lived her life alone, save a few one night stands, until Cas contacts her and asks for Thalia to be her caretaker. Thalia finds it interesting that someone from the Fae sector would want to make such a drastic change as to move to Sector Al, even more so that they would want to live in subsect Reb. Thalia accepts and takes in Cas, though Thalia may seem rude (read: shes a bitch){love you too twerp} she's caring and extremely protective of Cas pretty much wrecking anyone who dares to call Cas a "dolly" though Cas insists its fine and that Thalia really doesn't have to defend them, Thalia doesn't listen. Thalia wasn't always alone, dhe once had an entire family, but that was before the sectors were a thing, initially her family was against it.... the Bols didn't like that and took Thalia's parents away, when that happened her twin was upset and he soon got taken away as well, her baby sister was taken so that Thalia herself would'nt rebel either. She is convinced that all of her family is alive, at the least Bree has to be alive, since the Bols send Thalia pictures of Bree to keep her updated on her little sister. She not so secretly hates the Bols, and is very very secretly trying to do something about getting her little sister back from the Bols and Seqs. She secretly thinks of Cas as a younger sibling, but will deny it if anyone asks her.

Bree: She had seen her parents being taken from her at a young age, and not even a year later she saw her brother taken from her. She was then taken from her sister to ensure that her sister kept up "good behavior" Bree hasn't lived an easy life, and she also hasn't been living the life that was told to her sister. Bree had escaped from her captivity a long, long time ago. She had taken refuge in The Mix, no one in the Mix knows who she truely is, they only see a little orphan girl. The pictures that the Bols send her sister are pictures of a different girl. She does want to return to her sister, but knows if she does she will just be taken from Thalia once again. (Need to change this later)

[ourhappilyeverafter]

Lucy Jean

Breathe in. Breathe out. This is going to be a long post, so bear with me!

Rewind to September 2016. I was so in shock to see a positive pregnancy test. It had been over 6 years since I saw that in front of me and it was so hard to believe. I just had an overwhelming feeling that now our family would be complete.

I couldn’t believe it was true and I figured I would believe it at the first ultrasound. Nope! Second ultrasound? Nope! I was still so surprised the entire time.

The day of the 20 week ultrasound I was so anxious. I would have been happy with a boy or a girl, but deep down I had a feeling it was a little girl. When the tech confirmed my suspicion, I was still completely in shock. Over the next few months, anytime I had an ultrasound I would make them double check that it was still a girl, haha. I just couldn’t believe we would be so blessed with a sweet little boy and a little girl. It seemed too good to be true.

It was too much fun buying the cute clothes and decorating her room. I knew from the start that she would be named Lucy for my grandmother and great grandmother, both of whom I never got to meet. I also knew her middle name would be Jean, after Pete’s grandmother who recently passed away. She was like a grandmother to me and I really wanted to honor her in some way.

I had a few health issues during the pregnancy, but Lucy always looked healthy. I was always so thankful that everything that was affecting me seemed to not affect her at all.

Because the doctors all thought she would be big like Evan, my OB wanted to schedule an induction for a day before her due date, May 17th. About a week and a half before then at an ultrasound, the doctor realized she was transverse. My OB was worried that if I went into labor with her in that position, it could be dangerous for her. Therefore, he decided I should go ahead and schedule a c-section for May 11th at 39 weeks pregnant. Even though I was really hoping to avoid a c-section, I had always had the 11th in my head as the date she would be born!

The days seemed to drag on until the 11th, I was so excited and made sure the hospital bags were packed and ready. I had a pretty teal sleeper for Lucy to wear home and a little white bow. I couldn’t wait to see her in the little girl clothes and take her home to meet her big brother!

When the big day came, I was so excited. Not eating all day was a little challenging, but I was so nervous that I don’t think I could have anyway!

It was a rainy, cold day for May, but as Pete and I drove to the hospital I was so excited and happy. I imagined we would be there 3 nights and I would bring Lucy home on Mother’s Day. What an amazing Mother’s Day gift!

When we got to the hospital, everyone was so friendly. The room was so nice with a big window and a lot of space. I felt instantly comfortable and ready to spend a few days there.

When it came time for the operation, I was terrified! It was not really what I expected, although as soon as I heard Lucy cry, I was so thrilled. It made all the fear and worry go away. My little girl was here, safe and sound.

When we got back to the room, we called my parents who were ready to come over with Evan. He had been counting down the days until she was here and he was so excited!

That night, I finally got to eat a real dinner and it was amazing. My family was complete and I couldn’t be happier!

In the middle of the night, the nurses said they could watch her for a bit so I could sleep. I definitely took them up on that offer! However, around 3:00 a.m. a nurse came in to tell me that Lucy was having some episodes of rapid breathing so they were going to give her some oxygen and see if it would get back to a normal rhythm. They had her on the oxygen for about 2 hours. In the meantime, they mentioned speaking with the NICU at another hospital to see if they had an idea of what could have caused it. They told me they might have to take her there if it didn’t slow down. I spent the entire 2 hours worrying that my baby would have to leave me. Luckily at 5:30 they brought her back and said she seemed fine, the breathing had normalized, and she could stay. I was overcome with relief that my biggest fear wouldn’t be coming true.

We spent her second day snuggling with her and talking about how happy we were. Even thought my OB said I could probably leave after 2 nights, I felt fine with staying 3! It was so comfortable there and the nurses were all amazing. They offered a “celebration meal” for the family after the new baby comes. We ordered the pizza and planned to have my parents and Evan come join us for the meal.

They came right after Evan was out of school, around 4:00. Lucy was there when they arrived, but then the nurse said she needed to take her for a few minutes to run some routine tests. It had been about half an hour and she hadn’t come back. Evan kept asking when she would join us again, but I just knew deep down something was wrong. The nurse and the pediatrician came into the room soon after to tell us that Lucy was having the rapid breathing again and they had spoken with a level IV NICU team at another hospital, who felt that she should probably be transferred there. It was close to an hour away.

I was devastated. Just 12 hours before, I was relieved that she seemed to be fine. Now my worst fears had come true. They asked if I wanted to see her and I did. Despite having had a c-section about 24 hours before that, I got up and walked to the small NICU there.

It was empty except for Lucy, who was in a small clear box with all kinds of wires and oxygen hooked up. No mother expects to see her full term baby looking so sick at 1 day old. Her breathing was fast and they had all kinds of monitors on her. I was starting to have a lot of pain, so I went back to the room and planned to check on her again when the team from the NICU arrived.

Lo and Behold, that’s when the “celebration meal” arrived. Talk about a slap in the gut. It was brought in on a beautiful table with a white tablecloth and looked delicious. We were just all too upset to even eat any of it. It made me completely break down in tears.

When the NICU team arrived, I went to speak with the head nurse. They were all so calm, but I was in shock that my little baby was about to be put into an ambulance with all of these people and be taken an hour away. It was almost like an out of body experience. I felt like I was just watching all of this happen and was completely powerless. It went against every instinct I had as a mother. Who would ever expect this? No one could really tell me what would happen and as someone who likes to plan things out, I couldn’t take it. I begged them to let me be transferred to that hospital so I could be close to her. They called and asked, but unfortunately because it was a different hospital system, they were not able to do that. I knew then and there I was leaving the hospital that night. I was not going to spend two more nights without my baby in the room that I imagined would have been so full of joy.

My OB actually agreed to let me be discharged. The nurses kept asking me if I was sure I wanted to leave. Who leaves the hospital 24 hours after a c-section? But I guess my mama bear instinct kicked in and there was no convincing me otherwise. I wanted to be free to go see her and not stuck in the hospital. I really didn’t care how much pain I was in physically.

When it came time for Lucy to leave, there wasn’t any time to say goodbye. I just sat in my hospital bed and watched her wheeled away in a covered incubator. A piece of my heart left in that ambulance.

Evan was there through all of it and he climbed into the bed with me and patted my arm telling me it would be okay as I sat there and sobbed.

Pete followed the ambulance to the hospital to make sure she got there okay and said he would call and let me know any updates.

Very soon after I was discharged and wheeled out to my parent’s van to go home with them and Evan. I walked into the house and was just completely numb. Just a day before, I imagined bringing her home and here I was home without her. I immediately set a million alarms on my phone, take medication A at such and such time, medication B an hour later, pump every 3 hours. I was determined to get milk to bring to her, even if it meant being up all night.

Later that night Pete called and showed me her little room and a picture of her there. I was grateful that he was at least with her for a little while. He came home a little while later and I just couldn’t stop sobbing. Especially when he brought in her hospital bag, unpacked, and set it down. I wouldn’t open it or go into her room for the rest of the time she was in the NICU. I just couldn’t handle the emotions of it all.

The next day I woke up in a daze. I was still in incredible pain physically and was exhausted from waking up all night. Thank goodness my parents and Pete were there to help with Evan. I was just an emotional wreck.

That afternoon, Pete and I went down to the hospital to see her. She looked so tiny and fragile hooked up to all of the machines. But walking in the room and seeing her safe was a wonderful feeling.

The first few days Lucy was in the NICU, we had to wear gowns and gloves. Again, going against all my motherly instincts. Here I am holding my new baby girl and I can’t even touch her without gloves on.

Day 2 of her NICU stay was Mother’s Day. That was probably the hardest day of them all for me. I thought I would be bringing her home, but instead I was waking up at home without her. My parents had spent the night and got up to make breakfast. Everyone had made/bought me Mother’s Day cards. Evan worked really hard on his and was so excited for me to open them. I tried my hardest to smile and enjoy the sweet cards, but I was constantly on the verge of melting down in tears. I just felt like half of my heart was gone and it was almost an out of body experience. I was physically there with my family, but emotionally absent.

We decided to go down to see Lucy again that day and my parents would play with Evan at their house. I was so exhausted and dealing with a horrific headache but I just couldn’t spend the day without getting to see her. We made the long drive again and got to hold our little girl some more.

As if the poor thing hadn’t been through enough already, now she had to have an IV in her head. They called it her “unicorn horn” because it kept falling out of her wrist. At least she won’t remember it, but we felt so sorry for her!

We decided after we came back home that we could go back one more time in the evening with my parents and Evan. Unfortunately, because my parents couldn’t take their wedding rings off, they were not able to go see Lucy. The NICU is very particular on no jewelry, no cough, sickness, etc. since there are so many vulnerable babies there. We visited her again for a while and then went to eat dinner before leaving. The hospital had a Panera Bread inside which would become our go-to food place. That night I had such a terrible headache and was in so much pain that I couldn’t really eat anyway. I was sure that after Lucy was out of the NICU that I wouldn’t be able to eat at Panera Bread again!

The next day, Evan had to go to school but Pete was still off work so we were able to go down together again. I was still feeling pretty bad, but happy that Mother’s Day was over. Strange thing to say, right? That day was better when we saw Lucy.

First of all, we didn’t have to wear the gowns or gloves anymore, yay! It was so wonderful to hold her with my bare hands. She was also gradually increasing the amount of her bottles and decreasing the IV fluids. It was so wonderful to get to give her a bottle. AND no more unicorn IV! They decided it would work better in her wrist again. Pete always said it was like she had a baseball bat on her hand, if she swung it at you it would hurt! She was a little jaundice, so she had to do a day or so of light therapy. I don’t think she liked it one bit though!

You weren’t allowed to bring your phone directly into the NICU, it always had to be in a plastic bag which gave most of the pictures an ethereal type quality!

The following quote really spoke to me during Lucy’s NICU stay. I was still in so much pain physically and I am still amazed at how I managed to push through it in order to see her every day.

I would tell Lucy every day to be strong and that we would be strong together. Sometimes it was the only thing I could tell myself to get through the days.

On her 4th day in the NICU Lucy was able to go off the IV fluids and was able to eat as much as she wanted. It felt good to get through one hurdle!

That night we went to Panera Bread again as usual, but I was still feeling pretty bad and again had a hard time eating. I was pretty sure I did not want to go back there again!

We fell into a routine every time we would visit. Make the long drive down, park on level 2 of the green garage. Walk across the skywalk into the women’s hospital. There were usually pregnant women about to have their babies or mothers leaving with their new babies. Several times I was asked when I was due. That’s pretty depressing to have to tell people you already had the baby but she isn’t at home yet. :-(

After walking through the women’s hospital entrance, we made our way to the elevator and went up to level 2 to the NICU. You had to show your wristband at the front desk (which we could not take off the entire time she was there) and they would call the nurse to make sue you could come back. Once the doors were unlocked, you had to put your belongings in to a locker and then wash your hands thoroughly for 1 minute. Sometimes there were other NICU parents there washing up as well. It felt good to know someone else was going through the same emotions and experiences.

Lucy was in “The Meadow,” which was down the hall from the handwashing station. In the beginning it was so hard for me to physically even walk that far. Pete often had to help me walk and slowly make our way to her room.

Everytime we went in the room, she always looked so little. She would be swaddled in the hospital blankets and sleeping so peacefully. At the same time I just felt so helpless that she was my little baby and I couldn’t be with her 24/7. It just felt so unnatural.

The fifth day there was so exciting because she got to take the nasal cannula off! I hadn’t even seen her one full day without oxygen since she was born so it was wonderful to see her little cheeks!

I got to speak with her doctor that day, who was very optimistic that now all she had to do was finish the antibiotics and she would probably be able to come home in 2 more days. I was thrilled! I spent the car ride home being so excited that I would have only 2 more nights without her home. I felt like I finally had my appetite again and life was good.

Unfortunately on the next day, we had a setback. I arrived at the NICU feeling great and excited but as soon as I saw the nurse she explained that Lucy had a desaturation in her oxygen level. That means that her oxygen level went below 90 percent and they had to give her external oxygen in order to get it back up. The nurse said that when they have a desat, their policy is to keep them an additional three days to monitor things. She said she would check with the doctor and see what he wanted to do.

I stood there over her crib praying that he would decide she could still come home the next day. If I could have been down on my knees, I would have. I was pleading and pleading with God that things would be okay.

Well, God sometimes has a different plan then what we want. The doctor came in and confirmed that she would need an additional three days. We were now looking at Sunday as her discharge date unless she had another desat. Each time it happens, they add 3 days. So if she had gone two days without one and then had it again, that would be 3 more days on top of that. If she made it to Sunday morning, but then had one an hour before discharge, she would need 3 more days. It was uncertain and scary and I felt completely out of control. I walked out that day feeling so defeated and upset. Just when things seemed to be over, the amount of time was uncertain. My mind raced with the thoughts that it could be 3 days, or 6 days, or weeks. No one could tell me for sure what would happen and that was so frustrating. Lucy did give me an adorable smile that day!

I laughed about her funny outfit too. It was some kind of hospital gown for babies with cartoon germs all over it. I was hoping they would give it to me to save for her someday. Not exactly a cute little girl’s outfit. ;-)

When I left Lucy that day, I told her to be strong and fight through it. We just needed to get through 3 more days! The ironic thing was that that day was also her original due date. Who could have even predicted that she would be in the NICU fighting to get home on that day.

When I arrived on Day 7 of her NICU stay, I got the good news that she didn’t have any desats over night. Although I was still worried sick, it was nice to know she made it through one day.

The next day was a Saturday, so Evan didn’t have school and I felt like we should spend the morning doing something special with him. I really missed him and felt like I was neglecting him in a way. Luckily he was so amazing the entire time, although he was also sad she needed a few extra days. We went to a farm and had a picnic. It was a fun time, but I was still only really halfway present. I was so nervous that day because if she just made it through one more night, we could bring her home. I kept waiting for the ball to drop.

We went to visit her that afternoon and she had made it through day 2 of 3. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but I felt so proud of her!

When the morning of Day 9 came, I was so incredibly nervous. I called the NICU right at 6 a.m. and they told me that she had a good night again with no desats. Although I was excited, I couldn’t help but worry that something might happen on the way there. I made Pete and Evan leave right at 7 and we were there by 8. Amazingly, she was still doing great when we arrived. We had to wait around for the doctor and to fill out the paperwork, but by 10:00 Pete was able to carry her out. Words can’t describe how happy I was at that moment. 

Lucy was finally home. 

She will be a month old on Sunday. I can’t believe how fast time has gone. She is such a good, happy baby. She really only cries when she’s hungry or if her tummy is upset. She is just such a joy to us and she is worth all of the stress that we had to go through!

I know that all of the prayers we had along the way made the difference. We felt so much support and love from everyone we knew. I would have never expected her birth to have ended up that way, but I know that sometimes God has a plan that we can’t understand.

I learned from this experience that a mother’s love is infinite. I learned that being a mother makes you extremely selfless. You can push past any kind of pain to help your child. You can literally lay your own life down to save theirs. I learned that my husband is amazing. He was my rock. He helped me walk through this experience, figuratively and literally! He kept calm, kept the house from falling apart, kept Evan safe and happy, and constantly reassured me things would turn out fine in the end. It was easy to fall into dark thoughts of her being there for weeks or months, or even worse, thoughts of losing her. Pete kept positive and uplifted me. For that I am truly grateful and I am so glad we will spend our lives together. For good times and bad, we can make it through anything.

We sure love our Lucy.

[c7thetumbler]

Life Update Notes: February 11th

So I skipped the past few weeks with this. I had a big blog post all planned out, but after rereading it... It’s just me talking about how last year was for me. It wasn’t a positive post, and I think I’ll keep it in drafts to remind me of things that have been from a more positive perspective.

Anyway, let’s just go with a recap

2 Weeks ago

Spent the whole time trying to line up an apartment, and actually had a bit of a ... we’ll say I panicked a lot when I dropped $300 for an apartment oonly to find out that it was unfurnished and didn’t quite match what I was advertised. Luckily over the course of the week I talked with someone at the complex; they managed to find me a place in the same complex for much cheaper given that the mistake was made because I was told to “just use the online system because we’ve only got 16 people here” when I called to ask questions.

No small amount of stress was had either over a bank issue when switching apartments caused them to lose the $300, but either they decided that it was their fault or they settled it with the bank. Either way, it’s over.

I spent the rest of the week packing up my remaining things in my room. I was only bringing my Corolla on the trip, so I couldn’t bring much; no furniture, just the essentials. My mother took the week I would be driving out as well, which has been both a blessing and a bit of trouble which I may or may not get into

1 Week Ago

Packing completed, said some goodbyes to local friends. I guess it’s a bit strange living in today's’ age; I only had to say goodbye to a couple. Most of my friends either left when I went to college or shortly after returning to pursue their own careers, so ultimately I had a quick lunch with someone at Fullerton and a very short goodbye from another (whom I suspect wanted to keep it short not to make it awkward, but I wish I had asked how he was doing or something). My college friends are, expectedly, up near where I went to college and I’m the kind of person who doesn’t really reach out to maintain connections, even though I know I should. The rest of my friends I talk to online regularly.

After finally finding the right boxes for everything (amiibo have to be separated, of course) I finally got all my stuff packed and ready to drive. One family picnic at the local park (where I ripped my pants kneeling down to try and untangle the idiot dog from his own leash), and my car was packed and ready to go Saturday night.

This Past Week

None of it felt real until Thursday. Or at least, I was tricking myself into thinking it wasn’t because I didn’t want it to be. The drive felt like a typical road trip. My mother is a terrible navigator and does the thing where she looks at google maps and just reads exactly what the directions say out loud rather than telling me what’s on the map. It took 2 days, the second of which We stayed in a very nice hotel about 5 blocks away from my soon-to-be-apartment.

This Hotel was, however, a 5-story tall building with its own parking garage (because parking was a fucking nightmare already) overlooking a busy freeway. It killed any hope I had that this apartment was good. Spent most the night unable to sleep, and it didn’t help that my entire life was basically in one convenient car-shaped package anyone could take from me.

Luckily on Tuesday we moved in. Didn’t really have time to take in the sights; I got my key dropped all of my shit in the apartment, and went on the lookout for a table, chairs, and a futon before 4, when the TWC guy would setup my internet. We would not be able to find a futon, and after several hours trying to navigate the hellish landscape that is Dallas streets and highways (Hey asshats who liked to “brag” about how awful the traffic is there, your traffic doesn’t even compare to LA traffic, it’s your fucking awful, terribly marked roads that are shit. At least in LA they kept the on and off ramps separated from streets designed to run parallel, rather than having 20 feet to merge at 60 mph into a sidestreet that is clogged to all hell because your intersaction have forced turn only lanes) 

... Fuck I lost track of that last section. Anyway, We returned at 3 with an Ikea Jokkmokk (table + chairs) which I would spend 2 hours assembling while waiting for the internet guy. And then another hour. And then another. It would be about 7:30 before he would get here and finish setting up the internet, and without a futon we literally just went to the Walmart superstore and picked one that looked like we could jam into the trunk + backseat.

We couldn’t. It was 8:30 at night. We hadn’t eaten since 7 that morning at the hotel’s free breakfast, and here I was trying to hold my composure as I tried to tied my trunk down a rope I just bought for that purpose. My mother snapped; just kind of said “Let’s just go” in that defeated yet accusatory tone of voice that made it sound like I was the one doing everything wrong. I limped the car home in silence with the trunk bouncing on my new futon. It’s not very comfortable, but we assembled it and ran to the McDonald's for food. It was a rough day.

Next was spend shopping for the essentials: groceries, cooking utensils, trash cans, toiletries, etc. This would continue for the rest of the week. On Thursday we took the train I would take to work at the time I would take it. Turns out it’s really convenient and easy; only have to walk a block total. Apparently Texas weather is fickle; it started 32 degrees, then ended 80 by the time we left downtown.

I hate Downtown. I’ll likely never go back further than work. The buildings, all the people; everything seems so claustrophobic. We walked through it, seeing a lot of tourist places (I say a lot, there are like 2) and ended up at the JFK memorial and Museum. At some point in there it felt all real. I would be living in an apartment (it’s actually nice, quiet, and secluded) in the middle of a city which has the infrastructure designed by a toddler who hates you, and working in a skyscraper in a job I’m not even sure I’m qualified for because of the sparse interview process. It kinda killed my mood. We went back to the apartment and just hung out there.

Friday was alright. Dallas Zoo was pretty impressive; got a lotta cool pictures and vids. Fed a young giraffe even!

Had to reach pretty far over the railing to give food to the little guy. It was cool though.

It was later that day when I got a call from my employer, then an email stating she had left a voicemail on my phone asking for my address. But I didn’t get a notification saying I had a voicemail.

An hour later, I learned that I haven’t been getting those notifications for 9 months. 29 messages, most of which were recruiters being jackasses, but some of them being legit responses to my applications, including the seasonal apps I did in October to get some money for Christmas. For gifts. I threw out like 10-15 apps for that very purpose, and I missed what little did correspond with me because my fucking phone didn’t show my voicemail. A factory reset and several hours of headache fixed that but... I just feel so terrible about it now.

Today was a lazy day. with only 1 table and 4 chairs, we’ve just been chilling at my computer and her on her phone. She’s leaving tomorrow, and I’ll be glad to have the place to myself, if only to shit myself for my first day on Monday. Ultimately I’ll be trying to fend off feeling alone with wanting to be alone and vice-versa, because I’m that kind of asshole who needs just the right amount of human contact.

... But I am more than happy with this apartment. My parents will be shipping down the rest of my Possessions in May, but for now I can live with this. I have more space than I know what I could even do with all that stuff anyway. And that’s where I am now.

What I’ve been playing

Fire Emblem Heroes

I hate aggressively F2P games. I’ve had a ton of trouble trying to get into FE in the past. But for some reason this bite-sized mini FE game works for me. I am addicted. I’m not very good at it, but it’s pretty fun, even if I recognize what the progression system is exploiting to get me to like it. It’s fun, and it’s free.

....

That’s it. It’s been a busy few weeks =U

Short Rant on Immigration Ban

I don’t have a rant. Well, a good one; I can rant about politics for fucking years but man I should just leave that alone for now. I will say that /r/T_D resorting to bringing up decade old cases where immigrants killed people in an attempt to support their bigoted viewpoint is fucking disgusting. Especially when it’s blatantly obvious in the comments that they don’t actually care about the victims: it’s all saying Liberals are idiotic cucks that are monsters and questioning who would downvote their posts karma-whoring the death of an american to make a political point.

...

Okay, I will state my opinions on the ban. To me, it’s not about religion; it’s about country of origin. People can’t control where they’re born, and are therefore coming from. To blanket ban refugees from war-torn countries is, in my opinion, the most un-american thing a president can do. This land was *founded* on the values of being a safe haven. Sure, it didn’t work like that for a long time, but this is the land of opportunity. An icon of our values hold this poem:

"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door."

This is what the country is all about. Should we let people in without vetting? Of course not. You know what we’re already doing? Vetting. Pretty harshly, it’s actually really difficult for people to get the paperwork to come here legally. That kinda says more about where our budget should be going: to help this process along and ensure these prospective americans, these poor, huddled masses looking to the land of opportunity and freedom, are integrated efficiently into our culture and values (and laws).

To ban them and tell them to fuck-off because they might be terrorists is bullshit. Yeah; some of them are bound to be terrible people. But you know what? Terrible people live everywhere here anyway. At least with immigration we can at least look at them before they come here.

It’s obviously a more nuanced issue than that, and this is definitely a more emotional opinion than a response, but this blanket banning of foreigners is a charade to get his ever-shrinking base to love him even more, and it’s disgusting to me for that reason among numerous others.

....

Yeah long one, but that’s it! After this week I’ll start again on the Lunos project, hopefully! We’ll see how busy my new job keeps me.

C ya!