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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

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Survey #328

okay i’m going the fuck to bed now. @_@

Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? No; the only time I ever will will possibly be my wedding, if even then. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I think I'm capable, but I don't believe it will happen. Who’s the last person you video-chatted with? My therapy group via Zoom. Do ski lifts make you nervous or do you like them? Never been in one, but they seem cool. Have you ever had dandruff? I have dandruff AND a dry scalp. Nice combo. Do you think sleeve tattoos look trashy? Please explain to me how ANY tattoo inherently equates to being "trashy." I actually love sleeve tats. Have you ever gone through a phase of crushing on EVERYONE? No. I experienced a few crushes my freshman year of high school, but they weren't just anybody. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? I may or may not get a tattoo of Darkiplier doing his i c o n i c debut smile somewhere, but idk. I already have one tattoo related to Mark and would kill for another with his handwriting, so having three would be a bit... wild, haha. Do you have any stickers on any of your electronic devices? No. Do you like the smell of men’s colognes better than woman’s perfumes? Usually. Can you remember what you last clapped for? Yes; everyone in group clapped for one of the women taking a big step against her agoraphobia. Is your hair damaged? No, it's actually super healthy. Are you in charge of cleaning anything in your household? The litterbox and my room in general. Ever carved/written anything on a park bench? No. Most interesting place you’ve ever visited? Chicago was a big shock to me. I am FAR from used to cities that incredible and stocked. Do you keep your eyebrows more thick or thin? I don't groom them, so they're on the thicker end. Do you always wear a bra? Not at home and if there's no company. Do your shoulder blades protrude? No. Have you ever won on one of those grabber machine things? Yeah, a few times. Are you gonna French kiss your hubby at your wedding? Who says I'm marrying a man? But whatever, no. Keep that behind closed doors. How many bananas have you ever eaten in a row? No more than two. I usually don't even have two. Have you ever had sex outside? No. Have you ever been outside naked? No. Have you ever been in a shrubbery maze? No. You ever like someone who liked you back, but didn’t want a relationship?: That's pretty much where I'm at now. Have you ever fallen for someone who didn’t feel the same? No. Are you financially stable? No. Mom can barely afford rent right now; I had to pay it last month with gifted money. Are you emotionally stable? hunny Do you think kids these days are growing up too quickly? I kinda think so, yeah. It's funny how different kids are now compared to when I was whatever age they are. I try to be open-minded about it, though; times change, and I don't expect my generation to be the only "right" way to have grown up. I just think kids are chasing the power of "maturity" with much more vigor. Are you a rebel? Not really. Do you like when people use proper grammar on the Internet? Yeah. I like conversing with people who type just how they talk, like me. Have you ever driven or been a passenger on a motorcycle? Neither. I don't want to ride one. Do you use standard time, or 24 hour time? Standard time. Do you enjoy NASCAR? "HE'S MAKIN ANOTHER LEFT TURRRRRRN!" Lol no, I really don't. Who is the most fascinating person you’ve met? Probably Sara, honestly. What amazing adventures have you been on? What's this "adventure" you speak of? What would you do if had enough money to not need a job? Lots of traveling with my camera, still selling art anyway. What TV series do you keep coming back to and re-watching? None. What would your perfect vacation look like? Y'know, one of those glass dome ceiling cabin... things in the mountains with Sara would be so, SO cool. So much nature for us to explore. What are some obscure things that you are or were really into? Most of my interests honestly, haha. The strangest is probably "vulture culture," in which the remains (typically the bones) of a naturally deceased wild animal are basically recycled for some sort of artistic purpose. You could consider my roadkill photography an example. What are some things everyone should try at least once? I dunno, man. Depends on what you're into. What would your perfect morning be like? Cuddles with an s/o watching some funny videos or something like that to get in some morning laughter. What are you always game for? Video games, haha. What do you do to unwind? Watch YouTube. What’s your favorite piece of furniture you’ve ever owned? I don't have a fave. What would be the best city to live in? I don't want to live in a city. What would you like to know more about, but haven’t had the time to look into it? Time isn't an issue; I just haven't. There's lots of stuff. I'm a very curious person. How have you changed from when you were in high school? I'm less depressed, but more confused, scared, and much less motivated. Imagine a chicken wandering around with its head chopped off. Where is the most fun place around where you live? Nothing, really... Where would your friends or family be most surprised to find you? Like, a strip club or something. What’s expensive but totally worth it? This depends on what's important to you. For me, a quality DSLR camera. When do you feel most out of place? Whenever I'm some place fancy. What’s the most recent thing you’ve done for the first time? No idea. What small seemingly insignificant decision had a massive impact on your life? Accepting Jason's friend request on Facebook because I thought it was a different Jason I actually knew. What did you do last summer? Nothing, just stayed indoors trying not to melt into a sizzling puddle. What are you most grateful for? My mom. What’s the most essential part of a friendship? Trust, maybe. When was the last time you walked for more than an hour? Many, many years ago when I used to walk outside for hours with my iPod. All modesty aside, what are you better at than 90% of people? It doesn’t have to be useful or serious, it can be something ridiculous. 90% is a lot, man. Maybe bonding with animals? What’s the strangest phone conversation you’ve ever had? I don’t know. What do you like but are kind of embarrassed to admit? If I'm embarrassed by it, I have no interest in sharing it. What skill or ability have you always wanted to learn? Even just a smidge of social skills. What’s the best meal you’ve ever had? Probably the spicy shrimp fritas at Olive Garden. I adore those sooooooooo so much. Where was your favorite place to go when you were a kid? The zoo. We didn't go often at all, but I would frequently nag Mom about going. What’s something that most people haven’t done, but you have? Fed a freshly severed rat to a vulture. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I wanna go back to that bird rescue... What says the most about a person? How they treat others. What machine or appliance in your house aggravates you the most? The dryer. It can take a few rounds to fully dry something. What places have you visited that exceeded your expectations? Chicago, that I actually remember. Disney World probably did, but I was just a little kid and only have faint memories of the trip. What’s the worst advice someone has given you? I don't know. Besides your home and your work, where do you spend most of your time? People leave their houses? What are your top 3 favorite things to talk about? Mark, meerkats, and video games. When you were a kid, what seemed like the best thing about being a grown up? No one could tell me no for "stupid" reasons. What’s the strangest way you’ve become friends with someone? Strange way? I haven't got a clue. What’s your favorite band NAME (not necessarily your favorite band)? Maybe Cradle of Filth. Badass metal name. There are a lot of good ones, though. What’s your favorite thing to do outdoors? Take pictures of flowers or animals. How often do you dance? Silly/ironic dancing counts. Essentially never. Who besides your parents taught you the most about life? Jason, I guess. What’s been the most significant plot twist in your own life? The breakup that I thought was physically impossible, entirely unfathomable. Where did you take family vacations to when you were younger? We didn't really go on vacations. If you could instantly receive a Ph.D. in any discipline including all the knowledge and experience that goes along with it, what would your Ph.D. be in? Biology. What are the top three social situations you try to avoid most? Anywhere where I have to speak publicly; parties/get-togethers involving people I don't know; anywhere that is extremely crowded. Just social situations in general, really... What friendship you’ve had has impacted you the most? My friendship with Sara. What’s something you’re interested in that most people wouldn’t expect? Uhhh I don't know, really. What’s the hardest you’ve worked for something? My recovery from the breakup. What took you way too long to figure out? The only person who had any right to control my happiness and will to live was myself. What nicknames have you had throughout your life? If you include online ones as well, there's Britt, Britt-Britt, Twinkie, Bee, Flower, Ruby, Mozart2, Ozz(y), Alessa, and uhhh... I wanna say that's it? What do you do differently than most people? I deconstruct my breakfast biscuits to eat one part at a time... haha. Where’s the last place you’d ever go? Prison. What fact floored you when you heard it? That my dad did some hard drugs before us kids were born. I was entirely speechless. Have you ever watched a needle go into your own skin? Yeah, it doesn't bother me. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? No. Does weed smell good? Or no? Ugh, no. It smells awful. Do you blow dry your hair or do you let it air out? Air dry. Do you catch lizards? No; I don't like the idea of catching wild animals just to pick up and check out. That poor critter is terrified. I'd rather just take pictures of it and let it go about its day. Would you rather get a big tattoo or small tattoo? I want my next tattoo to be a big'n. How many pills do you take every morning? I absolutely do not want to count. A whole lot. What was the last parade you went to? /shrug What theme would you choose for a baby’s nursery? If I was hypothetically having kids, let's see. A son, absolutely dinosaurs. A daughter, maybe meadowy with baby animals. My baby blanket was full of baby animals, so it'd be kinda cute, that connection. What color would you paint a baby girl’s nursery? Not because of gender norms, but by personal choice, pastel pink. Does your first crush know that he/she was your first crush? No. What is the last thing you missed out on that you wanted to go to? Hm. Who do you wish were your best friend? I am perfectly happy with who already is my best friend. Who do you wish you could go on another date with? She knows. Who was the last friend of yours to have a baby, and what’s the baby’s name? I'm not sure, but my high school friend Megan is due to have her daughter Persephone soon! She won the naming game. Like damn, how badass would it feel for your name to be Persephone. Do you have a favorite M&M? Just the classic ones. Is it easy to make you cry? OHHHHH YES IT IS. Have you ever snuck out? Nah. Who was the last person to comment you? On Facebook? My friend Lyndsey commented on a photo I shared. What song reminds you of being in middle school? "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by A Day To Remember is the anthem for going through puberty in school and trying to figure yourself out. What was the first thing you learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. What’s something really basic that you’re terrible at? Cooking. Are you pale or tan? I'm very pale. When’s the last time you were kissed? On the lips, like two or so years ago. Do you like the movie Grease? Never seen it, actually. What’s your favorite Jim Carrey movie? The Mask, probably. What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? I think a fawn. Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what? No. What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe? I meeeaaan... Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? Yes and yes. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? Well, it's complicated. I don't, but I also want to be a freelance photographer, so I kinda would. I like the idea of having an office in my house purely for productive activities to prevent becoming lazy because I'd be at home. Would you ever be an organ donor? I am one.

#survey #surveys #questions

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kyberled · 7 years

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the question america is dying to know the answer to: does braig like to dance? HOW DOES HE DANCE?

Ask Me For Metas || ALWAYS ACCEPTING

Okay, if you want to know the truth? Kiddo here absolutely adores dancing, just… Not when it’s in public. He tries so hard to come across as a serious, respectable young man, and a proper Jedi, so finds dancing to be childish and almost embarrassing. Being as small as he is, and with how many people call him ‘cute’ on average, it’s very difficult for him to get respect from a lot of people (he sometimes has a hard enough time convincing them he’s a Jedi).

But, like with most people, his behaviour is influenced heavily by where he is, how comfortable he is in that situation, and who happens to be around him. His acquaintances and people he doesn’t know well, or even friends he’s not particularly close to, probably won’t ever see him dance, barring formal events (which I’ll discuss a bit later). Even adults he’s beyond comfortable with, like Obi-Wan, probably aren’t going to see it, since he, again, finds it kind of childish. He wants them to be proud of him, after all. But if he’s in a good enough mood, not worn out from missions or the daily grind, and is in somewhere not out in the open with his friends (and, of course, it’s not meditation time or whatever), he might dance around a bit. It’s fun and good for a laugh, and ties into a few jokes they’ve exchanged in the past.

Of course, it also depends on whether or not he has good music. Braig doesn’t know a lot of good dance songs - Jedi, after all - and almost nothing up-to-date. It’s possible that he might hear some when he’s out and about walking in the city, but, given that he’s walking around the Senate district near the Temple, also known as the poncy, upper-class, fancy, nice part of Galactic City, the chances of him hearing all that much dance music is slim to none. It’s probably more likely he heard it on missions to Coruscant’s underbelly, or other similarly seedy locales. Maybe on the radios the men sometimes have. (It’s worth noting that Auren gave Braig a radio in a Life Day ask, but, in the main canon timeline, chances are he doesn’t have any of the gifts he’s received. Jedi are essentially monks, and not known for their material possessions, after all.) But, sometimes, hearing only those little snippets, or the obnoxious background ambience when they’re investigating a club, is more than enough to get a song stuck in his head. As frustrating as it is, you can catch him humming along to it and at the very least tapping his fingers or sort of nodding from side to side while he’s working on something quiet in his room, like writing in his journal, pressing flowers, or fixing/modifying his sabers.

Now, on to formal events, like waltzes, social gatherings, and those fancy little galas and gatherings that politicians attend. Braig never gets invited to these things as a guest; in fact, Braig never gets invited to them full-stop. He goes because Obinobi gets called in to be security, and Braig, as his padawan, just tags along. I’m not gonna get too into his feelings on these types of thing, but I will say that he feels that participating isn’t really a Jedi thing to do. Chances are he’d rather be securing the perimeter or keeping his eyes on the guests entire. In truth, he’s a shy little thing when it comes to being asked to dance, especially since the sort of dancing you’d get at a formal event is very handsy and touchy - Either Braig does not know the person well enough to be comfortable with that amount of contact, or it’s someone he knows (re: another Jedi) and he thinks it’s awkward and a waste of time, OR it’s someone he’s crushing on and he WOULD be fine with lil touches, but they’re in PUBLIC and he’s a JEDI so he’s trying very hard not to turn bright red and probably focusing more on keeping his shields up so people can’t sense the emotions whipping around him than he is focusing on dancing, so any skill he might have is gone and he might come off as a bit of a klutz which only makes it worse??? (Though, in private, he might find dancing with his SO to be kind of romantic. Depends on the setting and such, obvi. He’d 100% cuddle up to a taller romantic partner if they were slow-dancing alone and just let them lead while he relaxes for a bit.)

HOW Braig dances is a different story. It’s pretty difficult to describe, since, unless we assume he learned how as part of cultures/etiquette classes, he was never actually taught by anyone. So he doesn’t know how to do any ‘actual’ dances - No foxtrots, waltzes, and it’s probably painfully obvious I was never taught how to dance, either. But, from experience, martial artists usually make damn good freestyle dancers? Guess it’s a mix of flexibility, strength, balance, stuff like that, and for Jedi, who go through rigorous training from about the time they’re walking, we’ve seen the stuff they can pull off as kiddos. So I mean, I assume he can be very graceful and fluid when he wants to, as a result of that training, but if he’s not comfortable, you can see his movements will be a bit stiffer, a bit less natural. I suppose even a clumsy Jedi would be ethereal by our standards, but, yeah, I guess we could say he treats the movement the same as forms, for the most part. One of the perks to being small, as he’s always thought, is being agile and light on his feet, so, I imagine he could be quite good… If he wasn’t so awkward about it, and ever got taught.

Of course, it’s also important to realise this depends on verse. Braig in any of his Sith verses thinks dancing is beneath him; Young/Alt Sith Braig just flat out refuses to do it, and an older Sith Braig will only do it if he thinks it would be useful to charm or manipulate someone. Jedi Braig has, fortunately, shed a lot of his insecurities, so he has no qualms dancing at a party (or to embarrass his padawans). He’ll still get a bit shy or flushed if he’s dancing with someone he has feelings for, but, he’ll dance. Rogue Braig? Well, obviously, it depends on verses, but in canon? He’s usually too drunk to care. There are some days where he just says ‘kriff it’ and some clubs where it seems a good way to blend in, so. Either one is a good reason to him. Who’s there to impress? Everyone he knew is dead. Modern Braig doesn’t have to worry about being a Jedi, either, so heck, this kid will dance for fun. He’s big on musical theatre, too, so. (But, catch him down town listening to the street musicians, paying them a few dollars and dancing with his friends on the weekend. It’s fun for him).

#crdered #there u go america #&& give the sun a head start; ooc #&& as best i can; answers #&& temple archives; headcanons

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fyeahjamesandlily · 8 years

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Scruple

gift for @lovethenletmego (Gift 1 of 2)

A/N: Happy Holidays! I hope you like it!

summary: The nine moments that led to the inevitable.

rating: T

word count: 4,536

S C R U P L E ; hesitate or be reluctant to do something that one thinks may be wrong.

one.

“Are you sure?” Peter asks, raising an eyebrow, “Because I don’t think this is a good idea at all, and you know me, I’m usually pretty good at going with the flow. Remember that one time where you and Sirius thought that it’d be a good idea to-”

“It’s break,” James reasons, “She won’t kill me right before Christmas.”

Peter turns back to his luggage, stuffing his last jumper inside before closing it shut, “Oh trust me, it’s not that I’m worried about. Plus, you said she was mad at you-”

James raises an eyebrow.

“I’m cautious,” Peter taps his head, “I don’t want you to end up hurting yourself. You know, make sure you’re ruling with both your head and your heart and all that-”

“Thanks, Mr. Psychiatrist,” James retorts, “But I’ll be fine. Besides, we’re friends now. I’m not going to ruin that.”

Peter tsks, scrunching his nose, “I still think it’s a bad idea.”

“You think everything I do regarding Lily is a bad idea.”

“That’s because it usually is,” Remus adds, “Now Prongs, for the love of Merlin, shut up-”

“Hey!” James shoots his friend a pointed look, “Whatever I’m doing has gotten me this far.”

“Luck.” Peter chirps, frowning as he struggles to close his suitcase.

“Dumb luck,” Sirius teases, throwing a pillow in James’ direction.

James rolls his eyes as he walks out of the dormitory, shaking his head because they don’t know what they’re talking about. Ha, this week will be a piece of cake.

two.

He’s at a party and Lily is just being herself when he realizes that, yeah, okay, he had too much faith in himself. Lily’s hair is red and he thinks they’re in an argument but every time he looks at her, his heart does a little hiccup and oh Merlin, this week will not be a piece of cake.

He’s playing with a bit of loose thread on one of the carpets, and from the corner of his eye he sees an object zooming closer and closer until ow. James looks at the offending object on the ground and blinks because where in the bloody hell did that come from?

“So?”

He sits up straighter, shrugging, “Yeah, sure.”

From the corner of his eye, he sees Lily smile. He responds with his own little unsure smile.

“That doesn’t count,” Marlene decides, squinting, “He probably doesn’t even know what I asked-”

Lily shrugs, “You still got his answer.”

“No,” Marlene shakes her head, “It doesn’t count.”

“Well,” Lily nudges her friend’s shoulder, “You didn’t specify what kind of answer you’d like-”

“Sorry for thinking that it was a given for an answer to be said with all facts in mind-”

He tries to cut in, but Lily gives him a look and he’s silenced.

Marlene, undeterred, turns to him, “If you were to, say, ask a girl out, and she tells you to wait for her,” James’ eyes flick over to Lily for a second and she’s fiddling with a stray thread, “What would you do?”

James blinks.

“You were saying you would-”

“Oh,” He understands, “Was that what the question was?”

Marlene’s eyes zoom in on him. (Or at least, that’s what James thinks happens, he’s not entirely sure) “You still,” Marlene takes a gulp of her drink, “D’you still fancy that Jane girl? The one who graduated last term?”

“Er, well-”

“Oh,” Marlene nods, looking as if she wants to smack herself, “Right. The whole playing it safe thing.”

James is about to say something, he’s confused, and from the corner of his eye, he sees Lily’s head go up. Her eyes burn into him and he’s hoping, hoping for something to take him out of this uncomfortable situation.

He looks up at Lily, and she’s staring back at him, biting her lip.

Then, “Lay off him, Mar.”

He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Marlene sighs, “Alright.” She takes in a breath, “But what if she-”

“Marlene!”

And that’s the end of that.

three.

“Did you get the letter from McGonagall?” Lily asks, stepping into their common room.

James holds his parchment up before stuffing it into his back pocket. He had noticed a little hiccup in the placement of the gold tinsel, and, instead of just ignoring it like anyone else would, decided that he had wanted to fix it.

Of course it ended up with the whole thing falling-

“What happened here?” Lily pokes the sparkling string with her toe.

“Redecorating,” He replies.

“Well, I think you missed a spot,” Lily teases.

He scowls, and she walks back up, laughing.

—

“Are you still-”

James sighs, “I think I’ve been standing here for-”

“Way longer than you should be?” Lily smirks.

James ducks his head.

“D’you need my help?” She asks, voice soft.

For a second he thinks that everything is going to be okay, but then there’s something in his stomach and he knows that if he wants to stay sane in this week, he’s got to stay away from her.

“‘M good,” He nods, trying for a smile.

She nods back, almost like she’s mimicking his movements, like she’s taking cues from him like he’s taking cues from her. Then he shakes his head and focuses his attention back on the holiday decor, deciding that dwelling on the possibility of them won’t help with anything.

four.

“I think you’re just imagining it. She hasn’t said anything about you and trust me, if something’s on her mind she rants. So yeah, you don’t look like two people in a fight,” Alice falls into step, “More like two stubborn people pining for each other.”

James laughs, “I don’t pine-”

“Well the track record of your infatuation with Lily says otherwise.”

“It’s not anymore.”

Alice stops, “Pardon?”

“An infatuation,” He looks at the ground in deep concentration, “It’s not like that anymore. It’s like… this feeling where everything comes back to her. Where I want to be with her every moment of the day, where I want to tell her things I think she’ll like, where I want to hug her whenever she smiles because she is undoubtedly the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, inside and out. Now that we’re friends, or at least, in a better place than we were before, I don’t want to muck it up,” He rubs at the back of his neck, “I don’t know, the word infatuation makes it sound negative-”

Alice gives him a look, but he continues, “And besides, my infatuation, disregarding whether or not there actually is or was one, isn’t sufficient evidence because pining would mean that I didn’t do anything about it.”

“Well I still think you’re being stupid,” Alice concludes, “And that you’ve got to talk.”

“But what if she doesn’t want to?” He asks, “I don’t want to force her into anything.”

“I get it,” Alice nods, “You’ve put yourself out there so many times, and it can get tiring to keep picking yourself up-”

“It’s just,” He rubs at his nose, “I don’t want anything to happen because I’ve worn her down. I want it to be something she wants.”

“But what about you?”

And he shrugs, because he doesn’t know.

five.

There’s nothing significant about the paper. It’s a bit of old parchment, torn and worn from the many times he’s crumpled it up since its arrival. His hands clench and unclench, and there’s something different.

Colors are much brighter, but they’re biting at his brain, taunting until all that’s left is bright balls of light. He blinks, struggling to regain control, but something’s knocked into him and he’s gasping, gasping, because the breath that had left his lips so suddenly didn’t come back.

–

Lily trips when she sees him.

He’s slumped on the floor and she rushes over, hands shaking because she doesn’t know how certain the future is anymore.

“James?” She wants to call someone, to get help, but she doesn’t want to leave him alone.

She grabs his shaking hands and, sitting down, places his hand on her chest. “Okay, breathe with me,” She moves a bit of hair away from his face, tucking it behind his ear, “Breathe with me, James. In and out.”

He looks at her, and it hurts to see the fear displayed so evidently in his eyes. Quickly, she shakes her scarf off, transfigures it into a small towel, and casts a cooling charm on it before placing it on the back of James’ neck.

“You’re okay,” She says, breathing with him, “You’re doing great.”

It takes a while, but his breathing calms. When he opens his eyes, Lily’s exhale is choppy with relief. She sets his hand gently on the ground and moves to sit next to him.

James turns, tired, “You’re crying.”

Lily shakes her head, “It’s nothing.”

He nods, leaning back on the wall. “Thank you.”

“I wasn’t going to leave you there-”

“I know.”

James begins tapping his finger on the wooden floor and Lily is looking at him from the corner of her eye.

“D’you want to talk about it?” She tries.

“Yeah,” He nods, “But can we just sit for a while?”

Anything, she wants to say.

“I’m here,” Is what she does.

six.

Lily catches up to him in one of the greenhouses.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” She says, crossing her arms over her chest.

James shakes his head, “Avoiding implies that I’ve been dodging attempts to see you, but that’s not true because I was just feeling…” His nose scrunches up, and it’s like his own body is rejecting his shite response, “Spontaneous.”

“Spontaneous?” Her tone is one of disbelief.

He nods solemnly, “So that’s why we haven’t seen much of each other.”

“And what, pray tell, urged this spontaneity?”

“Pray tell?” James raises an eyebrow.

Lily rolls her eyes, “You know what I mean.”

“I just needed to clear my head,” He answers truthfully, “There’s a lot going on up here.”

He’s about to turn away, but she calls his name. He jumps a little, not expecting the sudden shout, and looks at her, head tilted in confusion. He knows that she wouldn’t have said anything if he were to keep going, but this was Lily and he is James and he’d do anything for her.

“About, um,” She’s turning as red as her hair and James doesn’t know what’s happening. He takes a step forward and holds his hand out, but doesn’t know where to go from there so he just… freezes. He coughs, rubbing the back of his neck.

Lily bites her lip, “Don’t just settle with safe,” She says gently, quietly, “Jane is… She’s wonderful. If you really like her, put yourself out there. She may say yes or she may say no. If, on the small chance that she were to reject you, it’ll hurt but you’re James Potter. You always find a way to pick yourself up,” She gives him a little smile, “Besides, if happiness is what she’ll give you, then you should go for it.”

“I-” He doesn’t know what to say, what would be appropriate, what she expects.

Lily breaks the silence, her smile not really reaching her eyes, “Just my two cents.”

Merlin, he wants to tease her about her archaic way of speaking.

seven.

“She said she doesn’t want me to settle.”

The fire cracks and Sirius laughs, “You’re daft.”

James stops pacing and stares at his friend’s image in the fire, scowling, “And you’re not helping.”

Sirius, however, is undeterred, “I can’t believe McKinnon brought up Jane.”

There’s a teasing tilt in his friend’s voice, and James knows what’s coming (‘Just tell her how you feel, arseface!’), and he sighs, feeling powerless, “What do I do?”

“Thanks for asking, but you do have a track record of not taking my advice to heart,” Sirius says dryly, “More often than not, you do the opposite of what I say.”

“Well, sometimes your advice is rubbish.”

“Sometimes your face is rubbish-”

James laughs, shaking his head. Sirius, in return, grins, but when they settle, his face is somber.

“Did you get the news?”

James nods.

“What can I do?”

“You’re already doing all that you can,” He replies, smiling at his friend, “We’re going to find him, moping won’t help.”

“Not physically but sometimes you need to take a break.” Sirius suggests, “Emotionally. I mean, there is a war going on, and there’s no escaping that-”

James nods, “It’s okay, you don’t have to worry about me.”

Sirius raises his eyebrow and he’s about to speak, but Lily walks in and their conversation ends.

eight.

“You’re stupid.”

He’s smacked by a pillow.

“James Potter, you are,” Smacked again, “Quite possibly,” Oh, that one hit his glasses, “The daftest person I have ever had the displeasure of-”

James ducks in time for Marlene to miss, and he’s about to rejoice but then she hits him in the back particularly hard and he goes crumpling down to the floor.

“Ow,” It didn’t really hurt, he just said it… out of instinct? He doesn’t dwell on it. Instead, he pats the ground, looking for his glasses until Marlene takes pity on him and hands it to him.

“Thanks,” He says dryly.

Marlene sighs, sitting on the table, “You’re stupid.”

“I think we’ve established that,” James replies, standing up and stretching gingerly before properly sitting back down on the couch.

“Well,” Marlene shrugs.

James scratches his head, “So what did I do this time?”

“Have you spoken with Jane?”

“Can you stop it with her?” He exclaims, (kind of) fed up, “I’m not- that was way over.“ He sighs, "What am I saying? Nothing even begun! We weren’t even- I didn’t want us to,” He pinches the bridge of his nose, “What’s she got to do with my stupidity?”

“You’re saying you don’t fancy her anymore?”

“I didn’t fancy her at all!” His voice is high-pitched, and he stands, beginning to pace, swept up in the moment, “I don’t know where you got all that talk about me waiting for her when the only person that I have ever waited for was Lily.”

Marlene winces, pointing at something behind him. When he turns, Lily’s standing there, frozen. James is certain that his heart stops.

“I came at a bad time,” Lily mutters, probably to herself. He hears it because he’s always been attuned to her. Or maybe it’s the quiet.

There’s a couple moments of awkward silence, and James’ eyes are rooted onto Lily because he can’t believe that he had ruined their friendship like this. Awkwardly, Lily points to him with finger guns and walks backward until she hits the wall. After that, she turns and runs.

James sighs, burying his face in his hands. Damn.

eight and a half.

“It’s Christmas Eve,” Alice sighs, giving Lily a look, “And all you’ve got to do is talk to him.”

Lily frowns, “I just feel like it’s wrong.”

Alice raises an eyebrow and Lily throws her hands up, “There’s a war going on and I shouldn’t be…” Lily shakes her head, “James is one of the best fighters in the Order, and I… am also in the Order and what if it’s awkward? What if… what if we don’t mesh together as well I had hoped? What if we break up and it gets weird and it interferes with missions and… we’re also heads! How can we plan things the way we’ve been so successfully doing so when things get-”

She stops abruptly when Alice sighs. Lily’s brows knit together in confusion.

Alice looks at her friend with a fond kind of exasperation, “You two are the best people for each other.”

She’s staring intently at the table in front of her, biting her lip, “I don’t know.”

“Okay,” Alice nods, trying a different approach, “So what do you think of James?”

“I thought…” Lily shrugs, unwrapping another chocolate, “I thought that I had lost my chance. Merlin, I felt so horrible after Mar brought up Jane,” She laughs dryly, “Thought it was fitting that I had feelings for a boy who I spent so long loathing.” Her forehead scrunches, “And we’re so different and everything’s going against us-”

“But?” Alice cuts.

“But he’s changed,” Lily sighs, because of course that's what he did, just when she thought she’d be able to leave unscathed, “And I trust him.” She laughs like she’s realizing something that she’s believed to be true the whole time, “I think… I think I’ve had this- these feelings for quite a while and…” Lily bites her lip, fully realizing that now that this- they were inevitable but resting well because she wouldn’t have it any other way. There’s a silence as a million things go through her mind, “I really really like him. He’s changed for the better, and… and hopefully I’ve changed for the better.” She nods, “I think we had to do that before we could ever get-” She stops and looks at her friend, “D’you know where he is?”

Alice shrugs, shaking her head.

Lily nods, “It’s okay.”

And then she runs, because the realization lifted so much off of her and she just feels like she won’t be able to say what she wants to without this adrenaline coursing through her.

nine.

He guesses that he deserves this. He’s facing the Black Lake and it’s freezing to where he can actually see the air he breathes out, but he stands there staring anyway.

Could Head Boys give their badge back? Lily deserves the position, she’s worked so hard and his getting her counterpart may have felt like a slap in the face. Remus would’ve been a better fit for the job. Hell, he’d hate it but maybe Snivellus-

“James?”

He sneezes, turning, “Huh?”

“What are you doing here?” Alice asks, panicked.

Immediately, he’s on the defensive, “Why? What’s happened?” He begins pacing, mind racing of possible scenarios of what could be- “Hold on,” He stops, “What are you doing out here?”

She sighs, and it seems like she’s given up, “Have you seen Lily? Or spoken with her?”

He doesn’t particularly want to open that can of worms, so he dodges it. He takes a step back, repeating his previous question, “What are you doing out here?”

“I thought…” She frowns, “Someone… I just felt like I had to be here, like there was something out here that I had to…” She smacks her forehead, “Well now I understand what it is- have you been out here this whole time?”

“It’s been a while, yeah,” He nods solemnly.

She takes a step forward and smacks his head. He almost falls, and his hand reaches up to the now tingling spot.

“What was that for?” His trust in her is gone. Merlin, that was a powerful slap.

Alice rolls her eyes, “Oh stop it you big baby.” She smacks him again, and there is literally no more trust in her. Their friendship is over.

“Go to your dorm.”

He wants to respond with a witty ’You’re not my mum,' but he’s particularly fond of his head and doesn’t want to be smacked again, especially because his whole body is numb, so he stays quiet.

“Well?” Alice gives him a look.

He sighs, “Are you walking back with me?”

She raises an eyebrow, "Um-?”

“It’s cold out here, and you were implying that the only reason you’ve gone out here was because-” He stops, and a knowing grin stretches onto his face, “Hold on, you’re here to meet Frank aren’t you?”

Alice doesn’t look amused.

“You are!” He laughs, “And you thought that I’d be fooled with your whole speech about- you loathe divination!”

“Yeah, well,” She sighs.

He wiggles his eyebrows.

“Leave!” She laughs, pointing back to the castle.

“Have fun!” He calls, giving her a little salute.

He bumps into Frank on his way back.

ten.

He hopes that Lily’s in her room, or in her dorm in the Gryffindor tower, because he doesn’t know how to approach this- granted, his feelings were never a secret before, but their closeness this year is new. It’s uncharted territory, something he doesn’t know how to navigate.

He doesn’t know how many times he’s run his hand over his hair, but he’s done it a lot, and he’s about to do it for what seems like the hundredth time before he remembers that it’s a trait that Lily loathes, and yeah, that’s a great reminder of their compatibility.

He’s so lost in thought that he trips over her.

Trips.

Over Lily Evans.

He curses as he goes down.

Lily takes a sharp intake of breath and he infers that something gets stuck in her throat because she begins to cough. He thinks he’s killed her until she clears her throat, frowning.

“James,” She blinks, “Um- why?”

He wants to stand up and pace. Everything becomes much simpler when he paces.

James doesn’t really know how Lily takes his silence, but he doesn’t have time to comprehend it when she nods, sitting up, saying, “Alright, okay,” Merlin, her anxiety is making him anxious, “So, um-”

They both apologize at the same time, and James looks at Lily in disbelief. He straightens, “There’s literally nothing for you to apologize for.”

“I shouldn’t have run,” She says quietly, “Because I see how that must’ve looked and-”

She trails off, and instinct’s telling him to speak and tell her that it’s okay, that it’s something she could forget. But maybe he’s got to hear that he’s got no chance with her given all these circumstances, given all that’s changed, to help facilitate his hopeless cause of moving on, so he nods, hoping she’ll take it as a sign to continue.

She bites her lip, looking scared, and he doesn’t want her to be scared of him. He wants her to be comfortable, to have that feeling of companionship and (at least on his side) trust that was so palpable before their falling out. (Or at least, what he assumed was a fight. He’s seeing now that he may have overreacted.)

He’s about to say something, but then she nods, taking in a deep breath. “When I first heard that you were Head Boy, I thought that there was no way I’d exit the year with my sanity intact,” She looks up at him with a small, unsure smile, “You were ingrained as someone who disregarded the rules, and I dreaded our first meeting because you were always so unpredictable, and I thrived on security, on knowing and preparing for what’s coming next,” She bites her lip, “But you were different. I spent so long thinking of you in a biased way, not opening myself up to the idea of you changing- you caught me off guard. You’re caring and sweet and-” There’s a twinkle in her eye, “You’re so perfect for this. You’re just-” She laughs, “You’re perfect in everything that counts, and not perfect in a superficial way, perfect in a way where every fracture of you is complementary to everything you touch. You know the right things to say, the right way to approach something going wrong, and I like you.” She plays with her fingers, “I like you a lot, and I don’t know why I ran,” She looks up at him, “I just know that from now on, I’m done running. I’m done repressing the feelings that I’ve hidden for a while now, from you and myself.” She nods, “I’m here to stay, and if you still want-”

“You’re daft,” James shakes his head, smiling softly.

She blinks, “Um, excuse me, I’m in the middle of a speech-”

When she stands, he follows, “No, I’m sorry, please keep going-”

She begins to pace and he’s warm all over, “Now the moment’s ruined-”

He grabs her hand, and he smiles because this is something he’ll get to do often. Merlin, he’s going to treasure the shit of her-

“Stop staring at me like that.”

He blinks, teasing, “Now you’ve ruined my moment.”

She gives him a look, and a laugh bubbles out of her. He hears it and it feels like everything in his life is clicking into place.

Then Lily nudges her head up, “Look.”

He sees the mistletoe and it feels as if there’s something stuck in his throat. When he looks back down at her, he’s sporting a playful grin, “Looking forward to something?”

She shrugs, “I may have done my own redecorating. At least I’m not shite at it like you are.”

He wants to say that it’s not his fault that everything was connected to that tinsel, but he’s so touched by what she’s done that he smiles, “But we’re not even in the common room- there is basically no ceiling, it’s so high up that I thought you were pointing at a bit of mold, and for a second, I thought, ‘Wait, no, there can’t be mold in Hogwarts- even dust is scared to settle here and-’”

“Potter,” She places her hands on his shoulders, giving him a look, “I didn’t temporarily place the mistletoe there for you to geek out about its placement.”

“I am not geeking out-”

She raises an eyebrow, mimicking, “’Even dust is scared to settle-’”

“The sentiment is appreciated,” James cuts, unable to wipe the smile off of his face.

Lily looks at him, and he’s filled with so much emotion and there’s so much he wants to say to her, so much he wants her to hear. Of course, what actually happens is that he wiggles his eyebrows, “You like me.”

She rolls her eyes, “If you keep acting this way-”

“D’you want me to say a speech of my own?” He jokes.

“You’re literally ruining your chances-”

He leans in, “You can even interrupt me like I did and-”

“James, you’ve already got the girl-”

“I like you too, Lily,” He leans in even closer, because this is something that’s for her only, “I’ve never stopped. I tried distance, and that didn’t work, I just ended up missing you a lot. And then I tried befriending you, thinking that these feelings would go away with exposure, and that was a horrible idea. I was so desperate, but of course everything you do is endearing and wonderful and thought of with the good of the whole-”

“That’s really cheesy,” Lily adds.

James pouts, “Not fair, you were able to go way longer when you said your speech.”

“So we like each other,” Lily starts, “Wow, that’s kind of weird to fathom.”

“Well, I feel like I’m floating.”

She smiles at him, and he’s wrong once again because he’s not floating, he’s falling.

“From now on,” She bites her lip, “Together?”

He looks down at her seriously, and it’s at that moment that he realizes that there’s nothing on Earth that will stop him from fighting for a world where she can feel safe in her own skin. He nods, smiling softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “Until the end.”

#lovethenletmego #jily #jily fanfiction #jss 16

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fey-and-sudden-and-unholy · 6 years

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Surveything

If you had the last person you kissed’s Facebook password, would you go snooping through their stuff? Why or why not?: Fuck no. I may be an unrepentant heathen and a vile temptress, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have morals. :-P Have you ever fainted? If so, when was the last time? If not, have you ever came close to?: Yeeears ago, when I was a bitty, I got out of bed too fast and woke up the next moment on the floor. That’s the only time I recall fainting, ever. Last time I came close, I was sick and hadn’t eaten yet and the shower was probably too hot. Do you still trick or treat? If so, how old will you be when you stop? If not, how old were you when you stopped?: I don’t remember the specific age, but I was in my teens. Halloween’s still my favorite, though. I still dress up and I still hand out candy, and if I can I’ll have at least a small party. Ever take a keyboarding class? Do you type using the skills you learned in that class or how you used to before you took the class?: Not an actual class, no. But when I was a bitty in school and they got their first computers, they showed us where to put our fingers, if we were going to type something. I never really forgot, so when I started seriously working on my own fiction I figured out the rest from there and I can be pretty fast when I get going. What did the last umbrella you used look like?: Black on the outside, with Chihuly art on the inside. I picked it up from the Children’s Museum gift shop, year before last, when I went with a friend who was visiting with her family. They’ve got a small room, there, with a kaleidoscope-like ceiling he made, and it’s patterned after that.

How many pairs of boots do you own?: 7, a few of which I don’t wear too often. Two are basically snow boots, and a high-heeled pair with faux-fur lining. (These, my mom got me for Christmas, various years). I have my ankle-boots, and my knee-high boots, which are my everyday pairs, and I have two fancy tapestry pairs. One, I bought on sale for my birthday, the other I splurged on because I unexpectedly came into some money and I’d been lusting after them.

Ever cut your hair (the entire thing – not just the bangs or a little part) yourself?: No.

How much was your last paycheck?: Enough for my needs with some left over. :-P Do you get paid bi-weekly or weekly?: bi-weekly. What do you do with your clothes that don’t fit anymore or just don’t want?: First I see if any of my friends want them, and if they don’t I throw them all in a bag and take them to Goodwill. Do you cut out coupons?: No, but one of my friends is a coupon-fu master. She can walk into a store with a handfull of coupons and come out with a bag of stuff she didn’t pay for and $6 she didn’t have before she went in.

Does anyone in your house play xBox live?: I think Sky does... Video Games are his Thing, so if it’s associated I assume he’s got a hand in it. Would you ever date a co-worker?: If we had enough in common, though I feel a little leery of it. Did you ever breathe in helium and talk funny afterwards?: No. Would you ever open your own business? If so, what kind of business could you imagine yourself having?: I used to run an etsy shop. Does that count? What’s the age to buy alcohol and to buy cigarettes in your area?: 21 and 18. Do you ever eat candy cigarettes?: I tried them once. They were okay, but there are so many better candies out there. Is there anyone on your block/in your apartment complex/whatever that you’ve never seen? For example, you know someone lives next door but you may have never actually seen them leave the house or anything.: I tend to keep to myself, so this constitutes most of my neighbors. When shopping, do you usually head straight for the clearance or sales racks?: No, but I’ll generally have a look, once I’ve made my way back to it.

What’s your biggest pet peeve at your job?: People who argue with me about stupid things. There are two kinds of these people: the ones nitpicking for a discount/free stuff, and the ones who are just being assholes because they haven’t got any better way to feel powerful. Both should be publicly skinned. How old do you want to be when you move out?: We’re past that. Have you ever seriously considered dropping out of school or college? What made you decide to do it/not do it?: I did drop out of college. I was burnt out and sick of doing something I was only coming to hate more and more to meet the expectations of people who I could only at that point feel disdain for. So, I stuck it out to the end of the first year and then said fuck it, I’m setting myself free. I don’t regret it, honestly, watching all these people struggling with their debts, etc. It wasn’t worth the stress then, and it seems like it’s even less worth it, now. Ever meet and talk to someone from an online dating site?: Sure. I made some very dear friends, that way. Last type of candy you ate?: A cupcake at my step-sister’s birthday party. Last time you deposited money in a bank?: It happens automatically, so I generally don’t. What about withdrew money?: Week after last, I think. Ever kissed someone with braces? If so, was it any different than kissing someone without braces?: Not that I can recall. Would you date someone you weren’t physically attracted to? Why or why not?: There were one or two, who I did, simply because they seemed genuinely nice and we had things in common. Would I now? Probably not. I’d probably just say let’s hang out as friends. Doesn’t do anyone any good to get their hopes up. Ever had egg drop soup?: That’s my go-to soup, when I order Chinese How many tattoos do you want in the future?: I’d like at least two. I want an Art Nouveau poppy curling around one shoulder, and some sort of nifty snake on the opposite leg. How soon do you start planning your Halloween costume each year?: Sometimes, I don’t make a choice until the night. (I’ve got a number of things I’ve worn to cons and such that I can choose from.) Other times I’ll piece it together over a few months. This year I’m planning on wearing the gown I’m currently working on, as a test run for the con it’s actually for. So, this year’s costume will be the one I’ve worked the hardest on. Last time you had Chinese food?: A couple weeks ago. Are you any good at dying hair?: I helped a cousin once and it turned out okay. What brand of shampoo did you use last?: Suave, I think. The one with almond and shae butter. Ever spent outrageous amounts on a hair product that ended up not working as well as you thought it would?: No, I generally don’t use any products on my hair, apart from the usual shampoo and conditioner. I’ll use leave-in conditioner, sometimes, and that’s about as complicated as it gets. It doesn’t cost too much and it works fine. What color were the seats in the last car you rode in?: Brown Did you decorate your house for Halloween? If so, how many decorations? Did you go all out or just put up a few things?: Not last year, no. We had just moved in, so we were kinda pooped. I expect we will at least a bit, this year. Last person to hang up on you?: I don’t even recall. Are you excited for winter, or are you dreading it?: I’m not a huge fan of cold, but I love autumn, so I mean... Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners?: I’d rather just have a mechanical pencil and not worry about it. Do you still own a VCR? What about any VHSes?: Nope. What’s your favorite scary movie?: There are so many I love, it’s impossible to pick. I love the Hellraiser movies, and the Ginger Snaps Trilogy, and Mama, and Don’t be Afraid of the Dark, The Ring, and Crimson Peak, and the Woman in Black... There are just a lot of them! How do you plan on spending your Halloween this year?: I’ll probably have friends over and pass out candy! Which type of Halloween costume do you prefer, sexy ones or scary ones? Or maybe funny ones?: My favorite ones are a balance between scary and beautiful. 50. Do you like cranberry sauce?: It’s ok.

#Survey #you can play too

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