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outcaststars · 2 months

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I've been streaming on twitch for over 4 years. I've made a great community and a wonderful group of friends but I've also had to deal with a lot of aweful people. Recently I've been feeling particularly upset about it all so I'm going to air all my grievances here. TW this mentions bullying, grooming, self harm and abuse. If anyone mentioned in this post trys to comment im just gonna delete it, i also dont care if your fav streamers is here, this is my authentic experience. Also dont go attacking anyone i mention here, the whole point of this is to be better then them.

Rat_emoji

The first streamer I ever had an issue with was Rat_emoji. It all started when I tuned into one of their DbD streams only to find him streaming another, younger, streamers live content.

He had just died to this kid playing Myers, he had TTV in his name and Rat was so mad about what had happened he streamed this kids twitch live to his viewers, all the while making fun of his appearance and stream quality.

A day later I would go back and screen record this whole interaction so I can share that if you want to see it. It felt so disgusting to watch this happen live, he has 100 viewers in chat and they were all being nasty. The only person who told him to stop was drag streamer Suttonfister (i think, 90% sure) who was in the same game and discord call at he time. the whole scene was aweful to witness, it felt like such an abuse of power. Rat didnt directly say anything mean but they made a lot of mean girl comments and didnt moderate anything cruel their chat said, it was obviously intentional.

After this I blocked Rat, it would have been easy to avoid him if he didn't found the stream team "Aussie pride", he got a lot of attention for that and a lot of praise and all of it made me sick. Funnily enough I heard that Aussie Pride was an aweful team to be in. The creators didn't care about the smaller members, planned no events and then disbanded the team with the release of Hogwarts legacy because they didn't want to take a stance on JK Rowling. Honestly it seems like the whole thing was a vanity project. That's why I don't like Rat_emoji.

Dcypherpup

DCpup was the first streamer I tried to network with. He hired me to make some art for him. He wanted me to work on merch for his channel, I declined, saying that I wasnt comfortable with the idea of someone else selling my art. I counter offered to just make him a profile icon, this way we could see how my style suited him and i could work out how to tackle the idea of eventually doing merch.

When the icon was done I sent him the high res file, he asked for my signature (my artist tag, a very small "outcaststars" in the corner) to be removed. When I asked why, he told me he needed it gone in order to upload it as merch.

Naturally I was upset. I explained that we had already made a deal not to do merch yet and I also explained that I was uncomfortable with the idea of removing my tag. I went on to explain why visibility was so important for artists. At the time I was a much smaller content creator and DCpup platform was much bigger.

He apologized and said he would give me a cut of the sales. I said don't bother and reluctantly let him do what he wanted. At the time I was too scared to make enemies so I fell into people pleasing.

I took more work from DCpup because I needed the money and I hoped it would be good for my channel growth. He would upload my work to his store and wouldn't credit me. I was frustrated.

The tipping point was after the final comm I took from him. An animated ending screen. During this process DCpup would message me everyday asking for updates which was annoying. When I delivered the final product he once again asked for my tiny, half transparent signature to be removed. I was so upset and defeated, I told myself I'd fight it but I didn't. I removed my sign from every layer, reanimated the whole thing and vowed not to take work from him.

After the piece was done he wanted to commission me again. I left him on read, then I found out what he was saying about me to other people. A good friend of mine showed me a message he had sent in his stream, telling him not to bother commission me, because I would be too busy doing work for him. I was furious.

Another week later I got raided by someone and told the new viewers to check out my work, it broke my heart when someone who looked at my insta, told me he had no idea I made all of DCpups stuff. Why would he? Dcypherpup went to ridiculous lengths to hide my credit. He was telling people not to contact me and not tagging any comm work with my name. One day he came into my live stream and I was so mad I banned him on the spot .

I wish I had done more to be assertive, live and learn. Funnily enough I found out he posted a big rant, telling people off for supporting JK Rowling when Hogwarts legacy released. Only to be called out for buying it and playing it on his steam, which he had forgotten to make private. He deleted the tweet. What a cunt.

Undertheredmoon and Greenypika

Redmoon is furry streamer that I use to really like. They were funny, had great energy and I would even go as far to say that they were a friend.

All this came to a grinding hault the day he invited furry artist and accused child groomer Daveoverlord to join us on Monster hunter rise live on stream.

Dave wasn't in voice chat and I wasn't reading Redmoons twitch chat at the time, so although I was aware of who Dave was, I didn't realize it was them. When someone messaged me about it a few days later I was mortified, I assumed Redmoon didn't know and I messaged them immediately.

I asked Red if he knew who Dave was and what he had done and the kind of artists he was friends with (cub artists). Redmoon ghosted me, left me on read for a week. I messaged again asking why he wasn't talking to me. He said he was too stressed to deal with this "drama" and didn't care to get involved. He mentioned that if Dave was guilty cops probably would have gotten involved and said he just wanted to focus on his own work.

When I asked Redmoon where he stood on cub porn, he stopped replying. We haven't spoken since.

The same person who told me about Dave joining stream also pointed out that Greenypika was inviting Dave onto his stream. They dm'd greeny and asked them if they knew and greeny said he had no idea and that he'd look into it. Greeny hadn't responded for a few months so I dm'd him with the same message and got the same copy paste reply. TLDR greeny knew and was just lying about it so I blocked him too.

Daveoverlord

Dudes a fucking groomer and now he streams. Blocked.

Cidermarten

Cider and I got into an argument once, the topic of which is no one's business.

His bf weyland got mad at me for it and vague tweeted about it so I decided to start a group chat with them to sort it out. And we did.

I apologised for what I did and cider took some time away from interacting with me. Everyone in this situation wanted what was best. And weyland is now one of my best friends.

Cider and I aren't as close as we could be but that's my fault. They're honestly a wonderful person and I appreciate their friendship. There inclusion in this list is to prove a point later but they're also the only person here who I think deserves success.

Stripeydragon and Break trail.

This one is complicated because it involves someone who ment a lot to me.

Back when the exclusive stream team Break Trail formed, my good friend Marsh joined the team. Being an artist he did a lot of the teams promo art of all it's members. Marsh had a lot of anxieties about the team because he was one of its smallest members and often told me he felt underappreciated or out of place. This feeling for worse when artist/streamer and fellow team member Stripeydragon decided he was going to do a redraw of all of marsh's promo work.

I didn't see Marsh much at the time but when this began he spent the better part of a week in my mod chat expressing how upset he was about it. It didn't help he was already anxious but he felt stripydragon was replacing him and even mentioned a time when he tried to give feedback on stripys work only for him to disregard it. Marsh was really fucking upset.

After stripeydragon posted the work my moderator, Ibn, who had been listening and consoling marsh for a week, decided to comment on the art publically. He said he didn't think stripyes version of the art was better and criticized him of slimming down the fater characters.

I wanna pause this to say I don't condone what Ibn did. He ment well but it wasn't his fight and he shouldn't have commented a critique on something no one asked him to judge. Don't do this. Anyway...

Stripeydragon fucking hated this. Not only did he respond to every tweet, he went into the break trail discord and rallied everyone to defend him and attack Ibn, a lot of break trail members also rushed to the comments to defend stripey and attack ibn. He also posted ibns comment in his own discord to encourage others to dog pile on. This shit got out of hand super fucking fast. Ibn was crying and marsh was pissed. It was betray of trust on Ibns part, but the way stripey responded was downright scary.

Shit was at its peak by the time I woke up (Australian timezone) and I immediately went into damage control. I gave Ibn a huge lecture, I was mad af and told him to apologize. I dm'd breaktrails stream team manager Mari, and tried my best to defuse the situation so that both parties could stop. Everyone deleted their tweets. Ibn apologised a dozen times and Marsh told everyone that ibn was just an asshole.

So the story everyone believes now is that marsh actually loves stripydragons work and Ibn is just a weird jerk. There where no consequences for stripydragons weaponizing a stream team and their fan base against someone on twitter. They're still a member of break trail but the team has been dead for a long time. I understand that Ibn was in the wrong and marsh should have just talked about his issues with his team. But this is another case of someone with a big platform and bigger ego not hesitating to use that to attack others.

Starkymorph

this one is fucked up.

Starky mods for a bunch of break trail members, so he had an inside look into the whole stripeydragon thing. Keep that in mind.

About a year after the stripey incident, I woke up to a message from starky. I had recently finished a commission for starky but apart from that we didn't know each other well.

He claimed that ibn had harassed him on stream by bringing up controversial topics and that because he was my mod he wasn't going to support me any more. I was pretty angry, Ibn was causing trouble again. I dm'd ibn and told him I didn't want to hear what he had to say and instead I just wanted the timestamp on Starkeys VOD so I could see what he did myself.

I watched the VOD and what I saw didn't line up with anything starky had said. He made the whole thing up.

What really happened was, starky decided to bring up "cancel culture" and went on a rant about how it was inherently bad and that anyone who participates in it only does it for "self-aggrandizing reasons". A lot of the shit he said was very thinly veiled right wing bullshit dog whistles.

Ibn asked him to elaborate and said something to the likes of "what about people who cancel pedos and rapists" and starky banned ibn and ended the convo.

Ibn didn't start the controversial topic and he didn't harass anyone. But starky was mad and wanted to attack him, he knew Ibn had a history of starting shit so he came to me with a bullshit story thinking I'd believe him and Ibn would lose his friends. And it almost worked.

I tried to talk some sense into starky, I pointed out that his original message was dishonest. Starky doubled down and made up more lies. He continued to claim that things happened during the stream that aren't in the VOD. He even bought up weylandshere and claimed he was harassing him too, out of nowhere! which if you watch the VOD is also completely made up. He said some ablist shit about "high functioning autism" aswell, its all really incoherent. Non of this is true and I downloaded the VOD so he couldn't hide the evidence.

Starky tried to use my argument with cider and Ibns argument with stripy as evidence that we were bad people. I found this really sinister, because my initial reaction to Starkys story, was that i believed him, pretty much everyone reacted this way. It upsets me that i was almost convinced to distance myself from my best friend because of a lie.

A ton of people didn't watch the VOD and took Starkeys word. Starky blocked me and started asking all his followers and mutuals to do the same. A whole bunch of people sub tweeted about ibn being an abuser and me being an enabler. It was fucking aweful. It went on for days.

This only stopped when Kyziethewolf stepped in and defended me. Even tho starky was one of his best friends, he had watched the VOD and told everyone he was lying. Starky doesn't talk to kyzie now and it really broke his heart.

A lot of people still believe starky and I lost a bunch of mutual streamers support because of this. It's one of the worst attacks I've suffered on twitter/twitch to date.

I found out a few months later he's added "outcast is racist" to the narrative he tells people and there's nothing I can do about that

This also basically ended my friendship with Marsh. I've known marsh for 7 years and hes a friend of Starkeys too. During this whole ordeal he never spoke up, it was only kyzie. I was really upset about this because i feel that Marsh could have made a significant change to how this played out if he had of just stepped in.

When he dm'd me a few weeks after asking if I'm make some free art for his project I told him no. I told him I was hurt. He said he just didn't want to get involved in drama. i think its really harmful to reduce harassment to just "drama". We've stopped talking.

Jayedskier

I met jayed though my friend weyland. I needed a 3D artists and he needed work.

Jayed had recently lost a lot of friends because during COVID he tweeted that people not social distancing at a furcon where putting disabled, high risk, people's lives in danger. Totally righteous imo.

He however also tweeted that anyone who doesn't where a mask should kill themselves and deservingly got a lot of hate and backlash. Lost a lot of friends. Since then he was pretty unwilling to comment on any political shit. Publically that is.

The first fight I got into with jayed was when Ibn reposted a Tumblr thread about the YouTuber keffals, and some of the problematic things she'd done. Jayed loves keffals so he dm'd Ibn about it and started a huge fight defending his favourite YouTuber. I stepped in to try and resolve the fight but no one was really happy.

This argument made jayed realise that he didn't have the same values as the friend group he was in. He liked keffals, he thought it was ok to say the R slur and he felt people should be allowed to support JK Rowling.

He left my discord and I contacted him trying to smooth things over. We talked for a long time and I settled on agree to dissagree the hopes to change his mind on some of these issues.

That didn't happen. Jayed kept starting fights about woke shit, even though he's a self proclaimed "leftist" and it slowly drove a wedge between us. He stopped talking to everyone in our friend group, unfollowed us all on socials.

Artists/streamer and friend Ixu had drawn a big group shot of all of us together. Weyland (who is in this friend group) was pretty angry about the whole ordeal so he asked Ixu for a version without jayed edited out. When he posted this jayed got super pissed about it.

Jayed tweeted about how unwelcoming my community was. Screen caped some DM's and changed the context. I was so angry, I had spent months continuing to offer my friend ship and trying to change his mind. One of the last fights we got into he said he was mad that "people" expected him to show support for Palestine and thats kind of the end of it.

This one hurt because it felt like a betrayal. Jayed you can get fucked dude.

Socksthewolf

This one is super recent and is basically why I decided to write this.

I can't remember how I met socks. They work in the games industry and they have a LOT of money/connections. He gives away a lot of stuff, Donates to people a lot. He very affectionate and Everyone loves him. I even accepted a bunch of charity/gifts from him and in return drew a bunch of gift art.

Socks success made a few mutuals of mine uncomfortable. He had a lot of money to put into stream so his channel grew insanely fast. I'm also told he made comments to some mutuals, comparing channel growth that made them feel bad. He ran multiple giveaways and got partner almost a year after starting stream.

There was some drama between socks and one of his mods. I tried my hardest not to get involved. Socks employs a lot of parasocial strategies in order to retain an audience so he flirts a lot and also has a persona of "I'm you dad" on stream. Idk if this counts as love bombing, but it feels similar.

I heard that one of his mods developed a crush on him and when rejected, he drank himself into the hospital. He almost died.

I spoke with this ex mod about it. He doesn't blame socks for what happened even tho he feels the rejection was harsh. I still feel that socks takes advantage of people with his gifts and parasocial friendship. This is a result of that going unchecked.

One of our mutuals found out about this and was really upset. They tweeted about it and tried to hold socks accountable. Nothing came of it.

I grew distant from socks when he started hanging out with Redmoon a lot. Because I felt close to them at the time I messaged him a about Redmoon and what happened between us. He never replied.

This story takes a dark turn when jayedskier, friend of socks, decided to make that tweet mentioned in his section. Socks also went in on someone jayed had mentioned.

This is about my good friend Weyland. Weyland had had someone very close to them pass away recently. Socks complied some tweets and chat screen caps, and made up a story of weyland threatening to kill themselves.

Some of the messages were about weylands dead friend. Socks knowingly changed the context and lied to make weyland look bad.

I honestly think this is the worst thing on this post. To use the death of someone and the personal anguish of someone and ammo for you bullshit story about them is fucking horrifying.

I replied to socks tweet about weyland, I told him what he was doing was wrong. He told me that he feels bad I'm surrounded by toxic people and that he hopes they get better.

After seeing the way socks treats his audience and the way he lied about another streamer, I genuinely believe hes some kind of abuser. Idk the vibe is REALLY off with this one. This feels worse then bullying, there's an ego about it. I've blocked socks on everything. Frankly they scare me.

Final notes

Anyway that's been my aweful experience with aweful twitch streamers. The whole thing has left me bitter and sad and I no longer want to interact with anyone. idk where to go from here.

Twitch TOS doesn't care what people say or do on other platforms. And with other streamers/mutuals so unwilling to get involved or show support I just feel alone.

I do feel compelled to speak up when I see or experience something I think isn't right. I think a lot of neurodivegant people, like myself, feel that way. But I think it's been terrible for my career. I hate the feeling that I'd be so much more successful if I'd shut my mouth and looked away. Maybe even be partner by now. I know a lot of this comes across as just "furry drama" but i think its reductive to label it as that. Content creators who engage in these kind of harmful behaviors need to be held accountable if we want to see any positive change. And im not saying that means "CANCEL" them. some (not all) of these content creators can still learn and grow and be better. Negative attitudes and dismissive statements of "its just drama" create a space for bullies to thrive

Finally, please PLEASE do NOT under any circumstances harass anyone involved in this post. This is not an attempt to rally the masses to lynch some people, im just telling my story so that next time you see someone come forward with claims about a content creator you like you'll see the situation differently.

If you made it this far, wow. Thank you. Dunno if I'll post the vids/screencap evidence. I don't know if I care enough.

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masarukitkat · 1 year

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CW: conversation about death topic

So I forgot that I wrote this…someone just liked this comment that I made on this post (on the Book of Faces) that Markiplier made back on November 14, 2021 - it was the one year anniversary of when Unus Annus - Mark and Ethan’s daily pet project that started November 14 2019 and went until November 14 2020 - had come to an end. They ended it right at midnight on a live stream.

When Mark made his post with that picture with Ethan and he said “Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because it happened.” it reminded me all over again about everything that I had felt when I watched every episode, every video that those two put out on that YouTube channel. Because here’s the thing: they didn’t just end the videos - they deleted the whole channel. Videos and all.

They didn’t save them on a hard drive. They didn’t save them on a cloud. They’re no where. They requested that people not save them anywhere. They are meant to not stay alive for a reason. This pet project, Unus Annus, was meant to teach us all, including them, something. And I feel like I walked away with something very much learned.

And I wanted to share my comment that I left under that post with you all today:

“There’s a lot that I could say about their project, Unus Annus. It was a year long project that started two years ago and ended a year ago. It was a YouTube channel that these two guys made and posted on every day for a whole year and then deleted the whole channel exactly a year after it started. It taught us, during the worst parts of the pandemic, to appreciate every day as if it was your last. It asked the big questions. Like, what would you do if today was your last day? What would you say? Who would you spend it with? Appreciate every day that you have because some day…it will be your last. Someday you will die. Someday I will die. So…live every single day as if it was your last. And it teaches us that everything has an end. And when an ending happens…cry, not because it has ended…cry because it happened.

Their project was perfectly timed. It happened during a time when a lot of endings happened. And during a time, I think, we needed it the most. It gave me laughter when all I wanted to do was scream and cry into a dark void of despair. They made me smile when I found it the hardest to do so. They single handedly helped to keep me from a very deep depression. It gave me something bright to look forward to every day for a whole year. And that’s something that I will forever be grateful for.

For a lot of people, it was just a silly YouTube channel. But for so many other people, myself included, it was a ray of sunshine in the middle of a very very long night.

So, on this, the first anniversary of the end of Unus Annus…let us remember to appreciate every day. Because someday, it will be our last one. For everything must come to an end.

Memento Mori.”

- November 14, 2021

#markiplier #unus annus #memento mori #thoughts about life #thoughts about death #what is most important #crankgameplays #deep thoughts

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anxious-little-faicye · 3 years

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Unus Annus

So... today's the day huh. A whole year went by already. New memories, new experiences, new adventures. Yet we all come back to the same thing, the same channel that isn't anymore. The same dumb little channel that impacted us like nothing had before. Impacted me.

Honestly, I don't think I could put into a single letter, a single post just how much Unus Annus meant and will always mean to me. Maybe because there isn't a right way to express it, maybe because after all this time I still haven't found the correct words to do so. But I'll try my best, so I'm sorry if this is a bit messy.

Unus Annus. One year. Two people. Who would think a channel made by a couple of big idiots (affectionate) would have such an impact on the internet, on everyone who was lucky enough to be there for the ride. Even if you joined on day one or three days before it got deleted, it didn't matter. You were part of it.

I still remember seeing the notification on Mark's channel, and me panicking because I thought he was gonna delete his own. But no, turns out it was my invitation to something huge. At the begging I watched the introduction video and the *ahem* peculiar first official video. Didn't think much of it other than it was a cool project, so I stopped following it until day 10, where for some reason my brain decided "oh, shoot, I need to catch up". And ever since then I've been locked in, watching it from start to finish, never missing a single video. Yeah, even the deleted ones during Unus Annus, I was there for those (RIP Omegle video).

So, when it finally came the day, when it was finally November 14th, I... I was devastated. I had been there since the begging. I saw it grow, I saw the fandom become bigger and bigger, I saw the fanart, the theories, the fanfics, hell- even the Matpat video, everything. I remember me fighting with my mom because I wanted to stay up late to watch the stream, and even though I missed an hour, I woke up just in time for the last ten minutes. And just how I was there in day one to welcome it, I was there on it's last minute to say goodbye.

And let me tell you, I felt like shit. When it comes to death and loss I'm not the type to cry, or even let a sob out. But with this goddamn channel... To say I bawled is an overstatement. No, I mourned. For the first time in my life I experienced mourning. And I have lost close people to me before, grandparents, friends, but even there it wasn't as bad -or as good- as with Unus Annus.

So, here's my first thanks: thank you for teaching me how to grieve.

As my second thanks: ... Thank you for giving me a reason to keep going. I don't think I would be here today if it weren't for Unus Annus. I remember it clearly: I was still living at my abuser's house, I had gotten off a... bad fight, all my school projects were over due, I had no one to ask for help, nowhere to run, I felt alone. I felt like giving up. And the only reason, the only thing that kept me from doing something stupid was the thought "24 more days, just 24 more days". I couldn't just go without seeing the end. That's the only thing that saved my life. So thank you, thank you for being there when I most needed it.

As my third thanks: thank you for allowing me to meet some of my best friends. @heller-castiel @doodling-dog @emmahasnoideawhatshesdoing, I don't know where I would be without you guys. Yes, we haven't been talking that much lately, but do not think I've forgotten about y'all. And even though we never finished that fanfiction, it will always hold a special place in my heart as one of the few specks of light in a dark time for me. Let's reunite Tooth Knife Gang one day, alright?

And as my fourth and final thanks:

. . .

Thank you for everything. Thank you for the memories, for the laughs, for the cries, for the exasperated sighs trying to solve the lore, for the community you created, for being there when nothing else was, thank you for Unus Annus. It was truly an unique experience I will never be able to live again, and I'm okay with that. I'm okay with losing the channel. Because fuck if I didn't enjoy every second of it, fuck if I didn't make the most of what I could with those videos. You were there to see me grow, to leave toxic relationships, to become a bit stronger, and for that I couldn't be more grateful.

You taught me that death, though inevitable, doesn't have to be the end. You taught me to value each minute, each moment, because one day it will all be gone. You taught me to appreciate the little things. You taught me that life doesn't have to be all bad, that there is always something worth fighting for out there. You taught me to thank death, because without it life wouldn't have meaning.

So thank you. Thank you Mark, Ethan, Amy, Evan, all the wonderful editors and all the amazing guests. And thank you, Unus Annus.

Thank you for the journey of my life.

Thank you, and I'll see you on the other side

Memento mori, Unus Annus.

#tw suicidal thoughts #long post #memento mori #Unus Annus #Unus Annus anniversary #markiplier #crankgameplays #amy nelson #rant #faicye speaks

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angelicspaceprince · 4 years

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Dewey Finn x Youtuber!Reader Headcanons

I’m in love with the whole youtuber au’s atm so here. Have another. I tried. I really really did.

Some notes: Pre SOR the musical, and also Dewey moved out of his apartment and into yours because it was nicer and closer to places he could perform gigs at.

You started up your Youtube channel after a car accident left you unable to continue working at your job

It hit you pretty hard to be completely dependant on one income, but Dewey did his best to make sure the two of you had food on the table and a roof over your heads

Sometimes you had no power, but you made do

You ended up needing to move apartments, having found somewhere cheaper that gave Dewey a little more wiggle room when it came to finances

When you were packing (Dewey insisted you only did light work, even though your back injury had healed as much as possible and you were able to do almost as much as you could before as long as you rested) when you found your old camera

Dewey didn’t know that you knew the stress he was under because of your lack of ability to work. He never blamed you, after all it wasn’t your fault this happened, but you could see that the stress was getting to him

He also didn’t know about your depression, the feeling of being a burden to him and being unable to help even prepare dinner left you feeling useless

Dewey also didn’t know that after you moved apartment, you started a vlog to yourself, documenting all your feelings onto the camera every day when he was at work

It was a good way to let out all your feelings without burdening someone else with them

Which is secretly what you needed

Eventually, your rants and rambles became more structured, you spoke to the camera as if it was an audience and spoke about how having chronic pain controlled every aspect of your life

The fear that came along with it - would you have a flare up in a place where you couldn’t get help? What if you went to the hospital and they didn’t believe you? What if Dewey realised that you were more trouble than you were worth? What if he realised that you were never getting better and you were stuck like this? What if, what if, what if?

You spoke about how you struggle to even sit upright for long periods of time, making it impossible for you to even do desk work

You spoke about the times that you felt like committing suicide because the pain was to much

But most of all, you spoke about your love for Dewey and how well he was doing to help support you in any way he can.

Each entry was deleted after you recorded it, you didn’t have much space on your ancient camera

But eventually, you decided that, to pass time, you wanted to run a Youtube channel, if anything just to pass the time

You told Dewey one afternoon after work when the two of you were laying on the bed, him exhausted after a shift at work

His whole face lit up

“That’s an awesome idea babes! What sort of videos were you thinking?”

Even in his exhaustion, the guy can’t help but vibrate with excitement, hands moving about as you discuss details

You spoke about possibly doing song covers, but you didn’t feel secure enough to do that on the reg and you preferred to talk, not sing.

You decided to start off, you’d do one video a week talking about weird conspiracy theories that you had heard

As time went on, you started making up your own outlandish conspiracy theories, clearly making fun of the main ones that you had already covered

You had a lot of time on your hands to come up with some truly bizarre ones

It wasn’t until a crack vid about how all video games are designed to convince children that the President of the United States is actually a lizard man (Dewey helped with that one) did your channel take off

Someone did a reaction video of different conspiracy theory youtubers and you were on that list

And your channel took off fast

Soon, you started dipping your toes into other genres, started playing video games and talking smack as you did so

You made sure to pick the video games you were horrendous at for comedic value

You spoke openly and plainly about your problems with chronic pain, and how it affected your mental health

As time went on, more people with mental health started to follow and leave comments about how your videos helped them get through the day

That just having someone else saying that they have the same problems as them was enough to make them feel less alone

You decided to take this a bit more seriously after that

It wasn’t about just having fun and wasting your time anymore, you wanted to make this a career

You set up a schedule, videos went up three days a week on a two week rotation

Mondays were Conspiracy Theory and Supernatural Video days, Wednesdays were True Crime and Stupid Story days, Fridays were Real Talk with Video Games and Internet Challenge and Questions days

It was stressful, but you thrive under that stress, each video was perfectly planned and organised and Dewey helped as much as he could

The boy is practically a walking sound board, a lot of your background sounds came from him

Totally makes a theme song for your channel and you snag that up the second he plays it for you for the first time

People always want to see Dewey on camera, but you always filmed when he was at work and he was content to help behind the scenes

When you get Patreons, you feel so happy that you are just able to provide some sort of financial contribution for the first time in over two years

Little did you know that Dewey put that money aside to get you a better quality camera for your birthday

Eventually, you start live streaming on Twitch on your days off, just having a chat during your downtime. You get a Discord and with all of that, you get a few mods to help you out, having a video chat every Saturday afternoon to organise the following week

Whenever Dewey is home, he’s on you like an octopus so they get to see him lounging all over you, playing on his phone as you talk to your mods, occasionally asking for a kiss or if you need anything

They all think its cute as heck and beg you to do at least one video with him

So you do a special for Challenge and Questions day. Both you and Dewey do a bunch of couples challenges, live streaming it for your patreons and edit out the funny bits for the video. You also sing a song together, which made everyone go mental in the comments section

Eventually, Dewey becomes a semi-regular on your Friday videos.

When he starts at Horace Green, he doesn’t tell you anything about it. Just that its a new job

You are confused but trust him to do the right thing

When it all comes to light, you aren’t impressed

You refrain from saying anything, but the whole idea was stupid as fuck, did he really not think he’d get caught?

You are more angry at the lies, however, rather than the fact that he did such a stupid ass thing

When it all blows over, and he starts working there legally, you settle down

Visit him at work sometimes to see how he’s going

Turns out, some of his students are fans because now he can be more open, he won’t shut up about you and has brought up some of your less intense vids for everyone to watch

You decide to make a separate channel that is more kid friendly because “Dewey, you can’t show the kids the episode where I called someone a cunt.”

He forgot about that part

Basically, very supportive, your biggest fan and likes to help in the background as well as appear in some videos because it makes you happy and you both get to jam on camera together

Is also very kissy all the time and each video has to contain at least four instances of him randomly kissing and hugging you, it’s in his contract thank you very much.

#ama writes #ama's stuff #dewey finn #dewey finn/reader #dewey finn x reader #dewey finn headcanons #dewey finn/reader headcanons #dewey finn x reader headcanons #school of rock #school of rock the musical #school of rock musical #school of rock headcanons #school of rock the musical headcanons #school of rock musical headcanons #ama answers #ama responds #ama replies

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neonmonkeyboi · 4 years

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An essay I wrote for school about the importance of life, I used unus annus as an example:

“We don’t truly appreciate what we have until it’s gone”

-Roy T. Bennett

Two people, Mark Fischbach and Ethan Nestor have changed my outlook on life recently with an inspiring idea called Unus Annus. It was an idea of during one entire year starting on November 15th 2019 they would make a YouTube video every single day almost all with a comedic tone but some got more serious usually with a tone of death, Unus Annus being Latin for one year they would delete this channel and all of the content on it exactly at 12:01 am on November 15th 2020. Each video was a creative idea with love and effort put into using their improv skills to do things that some people may want to do if they had only one year left. The whole point of this idea is to get the audience attached to it and have emotion replicating grief, and how when they die they want to die knowing they did as much as they could to not feel unaccomplished in life being remembered for the things they did, also recreating how nothing really stays forever and how things will disappear over time. They amassed 4.6 million subscribers on YouTube and on that day they had a 12 hour live-stream with over 1.5 million people watching, they did tons of things in the one year the channel had and made content that was very, very well received on the internet. They are making sure no one re-uploads the content elsewhere and both made a post-mortem video talking about the spark of idea that basically reformed their careers one member, Ethan Nestor having been able to co-host the channel after being in the shadow of other bigger channels for years, and Mark Fischbach, a person who has been creating content on Youtube for 12 years, has now been inspired to make better more effort involved content. At the end of the 12 hour stream as the clock counts down both of them press the delete button as the stream goes black.

My point is that at the end of my life i want to feel great with everything i have done on earth, and I have a long way to go until then being very young and having my whole life ahead to do what i want to do, so I end with this Mark Fischbach quote from his post-mortem video about the channel.

“From now until the day I slide into my grave I will keep making things, I only hope to approach my own death the way I did with that stream, because I walked into that stream feeling the same way I walked out, satisfied.”

#unus annus #markiplier #crankgameplays #ethan nestor #memento mori #we were here

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rationalcashew · 4 years

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Random Thoughts Because Why Not?

I’ve taken some time off from a lot of the things I used to love to do: streaming on Twitch; making YouTube videos (in fact, I deleted all but a handful of videos with the intent to do what I wanted with it instead of continuing where the channel was headed); I even paused pressed on all my fics. I can’t even tell you what the last fic exchange that I participated in was.

I told myself that I was doing this because I was too busy with work and grad school—which, to an extent, was true. I work 50+ hours a week (on a slower week for me) and I am a full-time grad student on top of it. I also still need to get my house finished (painting, etc.).

If I’m being honest, though, I think I hit a point of burnout. With everything. Trust me when I tell you that hitting burnout when you already struggle with depression is, quite possibly, the worst experience in the world. And, believe me, I have lived through more than my fair share of traumatic experiences—in fact, until a couple of years ago, my life was one traumatic event after another, and I don’t use that word lightly.

So, I’ve just finished the first fall term (my school does 8-week terms instead of the usual 16-week semesters) and I did terribly. I mean, truly abysmal. See, I don’t really have any marketable skills beyond being able to see the details that other people tend to miss. Really, it makes me fantastic at solving puzzles. My point is, school is my thing. I’m good at it. So, to end with the grades that I know I’m going to see on my transcript is damn near devastating. Especially, when I’ve worked my ass off to do well.

But, that being said, I did something different this week. I spent the week focusing on myself. Not in a narcissistic kind of way but more reflection, introspection; trying to figure out exactly what the hell was going on with me. Because I knew something was off but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

For those of you that know me, you know I absolutely love writing, I love reading, I love interacting with people on Twitch (which, admittedly, is ironic considering I’m a major introvert and socially awkward). So, after spending the week thinking, sleeping, etc., I realized that I am massively burned out. My job requires a lot of brainpower; school requires a lot of brainpower. I only have two friends and both of them work and have kids so I don’t spend a lot of time with them outside of texting. Not to mention this whole COVID-19 thing.

But, like I said, I took this week for myself. I even took a mental health day for the second time ever (and this one went way better than the botched first attempt). I got my hair cut. I took out my industrial. I worked on my house a bit (still not done, but it’s getting there—waiting on a couple of things I ordered from the hardware & paint stores to get here before I can actually finish it). Even though I didn’t see my friends like I would’ve liked, I feel...refreshed. Or something akin to it anyway. It’s amazing how a couple of otherwise minor things could have such a major impact.

I picked up a book and started reading again, for pleasure (I am a bookworm, after all). Hell, I even finished it. I actually cooked a full meal (instead of a piece of meat and a quick vegetable) for the first time in eight weeks. I watched two TV shows I hadn’t seen before (granted, they were only a couple of seasons each) and I finished a video game that I had been meaning to play for a looooong time.

I feel better. I even opened up a fic I’ve been neglecting and started editing the next installment (hoping to have it uploaded sometime tomorrow, but I had to put it away for the night; my eyes were starting to cross). I played my piano tonight for the first time in months, maybe even since COVID started being taken somewhat seriously where I’m at.

I don’t really know what the point of telling all of this to a bunch of strangers on the internet is except, maybe, to say that if you’re anything like me and you’re in a funk that you can’t break out of, maybe start evaluating what’s happening around you. I’m not in any way saying to neglect your responsibilities but, maybe, make a schedule and stick to it. Consistency is a key factor in mental health. Oddly enough. Once I figured out that I was experiencing burnout, I was able to isolate the problem—the reasons I was burned out—and by getting myself on a schedule of some sort, I was able to (mostly—I still struggle with depression pretty hard) break out of that. I started finding joy in the things I used to love again.

Does that mean I’m going to continue to upload fic every few days? Probably not. I would like to but, if I’m being realistic, it’s doubtful. Does that mean I’m going to play a video game every day? No. Does it mean that I’ll start uploading videos again any time soon? I hope so but I also have to factor in homework and my job.

But, it does mean that I am finding joy in these things again and that they’re not feeling like a chore anymore. For a creative type like myself, that goes a long way.

I have one more week off before the next fall term begins and here’s what I’m hoping for during this next week: I would like to update both of my WIP fics at least once. I want to finish painting my house (assuming what I’ve ordered arrives; that’s all I’m waiting on). I want to read another book or two. I would like to have the rest of my Darksiders 100% walkthrough edited so I can start uploading them to YouTube.

These are all small-ish goals. But, they’re attainable (except that finishing the house one since there are outside factors that come into play). Being productive with these very attainable goals will do amazing things for my mental health. I’m the kind of person that needs to be productive. My environment is usually reflective of where my head is and let me just tell you that chaos does not agree with me (although, oddly enough, I am definitely the person you want to have with you during a crisis). From my house not being done to my fics not being done to a massive backlog of videos to edit, my brain has been spiraling. And, it spiraled right into burnout.

Here’s hoping that this next week goes as planned 🤞🏻

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xiuyeol-s · 4 years

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Did you watch Video 1444

The gun he previously to his head was an assault rifle and never a shotgun. The rilfe is consideration to use a magazine and and same shape being a assault rifle depicting an AK47 or even an AR15. In the footage, Korbaley is visible using an assault rifle, that they held to his head before pulling the trigger. The man speaks in Russian setting up a experience of a Russian 'suicide meme' then squeezes the trigger, the shot is heard perfectly and you'll also understand the gruesome consequences with the shot. A shot may be heard and also the brutal consequences from the shot are observed. As it can not otherwise, the video went viral after a now-deleted YouTube channel called GORE was published. In it, we could go to a man named Gleb Korablev looking at a sofa before a painting pointing a rifle at his head in the youtube video 1444 curse. The scary video shows a Russian man committing suicide using a shotgun while looking at a sofa. The 17-second video shows a Russian man committing suicide in the home. Video 1444 is really a suicide video by Russian VK user Bleb Korablev who shot himself within the head with a rifle during a live-stream on October 17, 2019. Here is everything we all know about the video. On October 17, 2019, 18-year-old Moscow lyceum No. 654 student Gleb Korablev started a live-stream on Russian social networking network VK. The legend says who's was published with a YouTube channel at dawn on October 20, 2019, which hours later it turned out deleted. Believe it or not, the graphic video was survive YouTube approximately 3 days before it finally got disassembled. I know the video is currently a few days old and possesses been spoke with death. It received over 150,000 views in only three days before YouTube took it down. What exactly is Video 1444 on YouTube? People who choose to watch the playback quality are shown a special warning: If they elect to watch it, are going to cursed. The video spread very quickly as it incites users to click not understanding just what they'll see. Unfortunately, it was online of sufficient length for a large number of users to download and share it. But several social media marketing users are actually sharing links for this disturbing footage without telling people exactly what it is. It even came to the stage where everyone was posting warnings on not watching the video. Several individuals have seen “Video 1444” going swimming on social media marketing or sprouting up on YouTube, but what the recording entails is fairly graphic and beyond disturbing. Has anyone seen the whole sequence of video 1444? Being the beginning from the misfortune of people who have witnessed it. In order to break the curse, the playback quality would need to be answered using the date from the supposed suicide 17/10/2019 for example. But within the 1444 link which has gone viral, it had been edited just to show his last words along with the actual suicide. Keys words like "suicide" or "death" would've had the playback quality flagged and taken down quicker. As to what is occurring and what are you doing, it is not all fully known what had happened to operate a vehicle Korablev to suicide. The reason why Korablev committed suicide remains to be unknown. According to a Reddit user with all the username Kurosagi8, the recording was published on the Deep Web and the one who commits suicide prepared everything and cursed everyone who watched it. The suicide video was quickly spread throughout various Russian VK groups along with Russian imageboard 2ch. Although the video was pulled down from VK the now-deleted YouTube channel GORE reposted it using the title "1444". The 17-second video appears to are actually shared on sites and communities that publish highly graphical photos and videos called Gore. For those who have the aim of watching the recording. The reality of video 1444? What do you think of the damn video 1444? Whatever the case, video 1444 shows us that this new technological era is not exempt from its own curses or ghost stories, this can be the place has evolved.

#Video 1444

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filisaceaf · 5 years

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oof ok i have a lot so you can choose (phan aus for the headcanons ask): detective au (one or both of them), au where dan is still a fan/never met phil in 2009, supernatural au (one of them is not human), x-men-type mutants au, hogwarts au (i had to :p)

You wanted only one AU you said? I’m sorry, Phan is my hyperfocus of the month so it looks like you win the headcannons of 3/5 the AUs and you know what? I’m not even sorry my homie.

This is long so I threw it under a cut.

Detective AU

1. Okay so, one would think Dan is the detective with his charming good looks who could get him into locations easily and charm people but Phil is actually a great detective because even though he’s tall, he just lives his life wanting to help people find something lost or someone missing or make sure people are not being unfairly treated. Dan is more his handler, part secretary (look someone needs to make sense of Phil’s notes, file them in a way that makes sense and is easily accessible to other people, and make sure Phil doesn’t overwork himself into a migraine like he has the past three weeks) and part paralegal at Phil’s little detective agency. He is very protective of his boss.

2. Phil loves being a detective. He doesn’t like to “spill tea” on clients like some people like to think he does, but he likes helping 80 year old women who were robbed get their wedding rings back or help someone find their missing child (he wishes those cases turned out a lot better than they usually do, but at the very least he helps people begin to grieve). He likes helping find justice and is actually pretty particular about what cases he’ll take. He hates doing cases about people thinking their spouses are cheating and really he does those if he’s desperate to make sure that he can pay Dan and his bills.

3. You can pry this one from my cold dead hands but Phil definitely has a corgi named Watson that he likes to dress up in plaid. Watson comes to the office with Phil because of long hours and has a little bed under Phil’s obnoxiously large desk that he bought specifically so he could have a bed for Watson there. Phil likes to pretend he’s hurt by Watson also curling up under Dan’s desk (but really he just goes soft for Dan’s voice going high pitched and “hello Watson”).

4. Dan is not a lawyer in the AU, but he did complete a paralegal program! As a paralegal, Dan can do legal research for anyone, but usually he does it for any jobs Phil did that end up needing to go to court. He can also draft legal documents and is also a notary; he just can’t legally represent anyone in court. Dan likes to joke that he is a slacker to the fact that “I’m a lawyer, but the bare minimum of one”. They met at college when Phil was in his last year of majoring in criminal justice and media studies and Dan was still on the track to wanting to be a lawyer. He took a gap (period) of years, had an existential crisis, became better friends with Phil during that time. Phil originally started his detective agency with another partner and when they left, Dan took over the secretarial side of things. It took him a few years, but he eventually went back to school to finish his paralegal certificate and Phil cheered the loudest at his graduation ceremony.

5. I don’t know how these two get together in the AU, but just know it is a slow burn. Like literal years and months and eons of mutual pining with them taking Watson on walks and late nights at the office and shared coffee runs and Dan always being scared Phil is going to do something super dangerous for his health like climb in a vent or park to close to a gangster’s house and get shot. After they get together, they do agree that Dan should get a another job because working together and living together with Phil’s unpredictable schedule was causing some fights for a long period of time (because they didn’t live together before this point). Dan does still stop by pretty often and double check the secretaries work and curl up in the corner of the sofa of Phil’s office (“Dan’s sofa crease” Phil affectionately calls it) and work on stuff for his other job at a nonprofit for mental health awareness.

Dan is a Fanboy and Literally the Biggest Philly AU (The barely alternate timeline tbh)

1. So, this is literally always my favorite kind of AU and I have a lot of soft feelings about these boys always managing to find each other somehow. But yes, Dan got discouraged after the like 100th time of subtweeting Phil and commenting on his videos and not getting a response, he never reached out to Phil for editing tips. Instead!!! He reaches out to a few other YouTubers years later when he’s going through his existential crisis and he’s like “you know, the last time i was happy was when I on YouTube all the time”. So he takes a gap year in university to try and see if it’s something he likes doing. He was not expecting for his channel to be well received. It takes him ages to figure out the jumpcut thing.

2. Because he never got to know Phil as young as he did, when they first meet at Summer In the City, Dan is actively trying not to lose his shit. Because holy fuck. This is Amazing Phil. This is the guy who he would play in the background while he studied and would donate so much on live streams and upvote and fuck he’s wearing some OG Phil merch with Lion on it. He walks around all day with his jacket zipped up because Phil can’t know he’s a fan; Phil is so smart and creative and funny and god. He’s completely turned upside down when Phil sees him and approaches him because “you’re danny’s snot on fire, right?”

Dan never regretted a username more in HIS LIFE and this exact moment lead to his rebranding months later

3. But they exchanged contact information and eventually did a collab video: Phil is Not on Fire. And they whole time, Dan is trying not to breathe too deep or do anything annoying because he’s in Phil’s bedroom??? His filming area??? His pants are on the floor like two feet away??? And when the tackle happens, Dan hopes he didn’t get a concussion and hallucinated the whole thing because Phil is warm and grinning at him with his tongue sticking out and holy shit, this is better than any video, gif, screen redraw, anything. Seeing it up close???

4. Phil doesn’t even notice Dan’s a fan until him and Jimmy do a ‘What’s in my tumblr tag?’ and Dan’s blog comes up with some Phil gif reblogs from back in the day and Phil just messages Dan screenshots. Dan is mortified. He’s going to delete his tumblr. He’s not Tyler (not that Tyler is bad, they’ve messaged a few times, but Dan’s not a /fanboy/ ((lmao he is))). Phil just giggles on the video and says that Dan is such a nice guy. Kind of. Definitely cheats at Mario Kart. Dan is literally going to die, this is the second best day of his life

5.They get together when they are both traveling for Playlist Live and they hook up at a party one of the nights there. Dan would be mortified if he didn’t wake up and Phil was still there. He didn’t take off in the middle of the night; he’s wrapped around Phil and Phil is mumbling under his breath about how Dan needs to stop moving and just sleep. Their coming out video is on Dan’s Channel and is Titled “I’m still #1 phil trash” which is a throw back to a privated video called “#1 phil trash” where it’s Dan talking about how talented and funny and inspirational Phil Lester is for six minutes because someone had asked him on Formspring who one of his idols was .

Hogwarts AU

1. Phil is from a magical household and his brother is a squib with a banging music career. Maybe it’s latent magic? Either way, Martyn is a sick af dj and Phil loves it when it’s time for summer vacation because he can visit Martyn in London and see some shows (he can’t go every night) or just wander around during the day with Martyn’s girlfriend Cornelia, who graduated from Durmstrang Institute, while Martyn sleeps off a late night show. Martyn being a Squib leads him to take Muggle Studies though because he wants to be able to connect with the world Martyn lives in and someday, at the rate technology is expanding, he is going to have to leave the isolating wizarding world.

2. Dan is from a muggle family and it shows in the tenacious way he fights to be accepted by his fellow Slytherins. Every O on an assignment he gets is validation, because see I belong here, I’m one of you, I may not have families who can trace their magic past Bloody Mary or past the plague, but I am still one of Merlin’ people. He isn’t a braggart though; it’s more of an internal validation until someone asks him for help in a subject.

3. Phil first really approaches Dan in his second year. He brought a hamster to Hogwarts (look, they’ve gotten relatively relaxed since Harry defeated the Dark Lord and the Peter Pettigrew Incident) and didn’t realize she was pregnant. The hamster had five babies and Phil remembered the lonely looking Slytherin who sat at the back of three of their house’s shared classes and thought “the boy needs a friend” so he gives Dan one of the babies. Dan names her Suki and spends so much time trying to make her happy.

4. Dan and Phil first kiss in Hogsmeade towards the end of their sixth year. Because look, these boys are magical but you can’t expect magic to help them get a clue. But they are sitting one one of the benches in town during early March and sipping Butterbeer and Phil just looks over and knows he has to kiss Dan. It’s a biological need. And it’s a good first kiss, warm and syrupy from the butterbeer.

5. Look I love Phil but I’m 99% sure Phil is someone who splinches when he Apparates. He leaves behind clothes more often than not, but there was one instance he left behind his left hand. Dan is fond, but it definitely explains the 20000 socks just lying around the flat they get after graduating.

#phan au #hogwarts au #detective au #dan is a philly confirmedau #phan headcannons

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thedivinefish · 4 years

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TGIWednesday and a download for being fully present

TGIWednesday News

Being scattered with a bunch of computer web browsers open on your computer is easy, a bit messy and dare I say fun to do, but often you don’t get a whole lot done! Being fully present often takes some self discipline and allows us to take life a few minutes at a time. If you’re thinking about the past, you're generally caught up in guilt and regrets of which there is nothing you can do about it. If you’re worrying about the future, you’ll usually be a nervous wreck waiting for the other shoe to drop. Do your level best to be fully present here and now and you’ll be pleasantly surprised how much better you’ll feel. Please know that this time of year, we’re about to contribute to that in a big way with our "12 Days of BOGO" sale of our MyBeliefWorks™ audio MP3/PDF collection in the library of the shop now. Click here for more info!

For those who aren't familiar, below is a list of the 30+ audios in the series.... Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

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~ BEING FULLY PRESENT ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I can and will be fully in the present. I am ready, willing and able to do my best to be here and now and accomplish each task one at a time. I know, when, where how and why to be still and remember that the energy of spirit is inside all of us now and always and so it is. I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is!

From the Fish Box

"I was really sick with respiratory problems with mild fever for several weeks, then I had a private session with Jimmy. Magic happened. I told him about my symptoms. My breathing was not normal. He went into treatment. In about a minute I was able to breathe deeply and my voice became stronger instantly. Jimmy told me I had an emotional blockage In my lung. For the next few days I had heat flashes several times and my temperature became normal again. I feel soooooo much better. My vitality is back. Another thing - I need to do major repairs with my condo. I was really perplexed as to how I should pay for this. Mortgage loan?? etc. I was listening to Jimmy’s abundance MP3s and all of a sudden my boyfriend offered to pay for this and told me not to worry about money. How great is that?!!! I am so grateful and thankful. Words cannot express my gratitude. Jimmy is a miracle.” - Helen from Japan

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Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack DECEMBER 2nd "Today I will transport myself back in time with flashbacks of wonder and delight. I will shed the regret and despair and select only those happier more joyous time pools to dip into and I will delight in doing so."

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divinefishingtips · 4 years

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TGIWednesday and a download for being fully present

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Please call their office directly at ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

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365dailyaffirmations · 4 years

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TGIWednesday and a download for being fully present

TGIWednesday News

Shop BOGO Here!

December LIVE Zoom Event

TGIWednesday Download

From the Fish Box

LIVE Appearances

SPIRITUAL INSIGHTS RADIO with host Charlotte Spicer TODAY, December 2nd at 2:00 pm Eastern Call in LIVE at (347) 934-0751 OR Listen Here Online

THE MYSTICAL MATCHMAKER PODCAST with host Marla Martenson TOMORROW. December 3rd at 12pm ET/9am PT Call in LIVE at (347)-215-6966 OR Listen Here Online

Tampa Office Sessions

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS FRIDAY DECEMBER 11th from 10-4pm

Please call their office directly at ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

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studentyami · 4 years

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1444 video

In the footage, Korbaley can be seen utilizing an assault rifle, which he held to his head before pulling the trigger. He constitutes a brief statement in Russian after which pulls the trigger. The 17-second video shows a Russian man committing suicide as part of his home. The scary video shows a Russian man committing suicide with a shotgun while sitting on a sofa. The man who appears within the images is definitely an 18-year-old Russian named Gleb Korbalev, in accordance with Twitter user @Jaxieon, who discovered the details behind the recording. It's a real incident that occurred throughout a livestream on the morning of Oct. 17 in the 1444 video. It was streamed via a Russian social media website called VK, and yes it was most likely recorded in Russia. As it can 't be otherwise, the playback quality went viral following a now-deleted YouTube channel called GORE was published. But it also claims they can break this curse by replying to the playback quality while using date that they can watched it. According to YouTube users who watched the original video before it turned out deleted, it was intended for approximately 16 hours. Then, anyone who sees it requires to the date of the suicide or suffer the results. Or have you ever seen it and suffer its consequences? But several social networking users have been sharing links to this disturbing footage without telling people what it really is. This was created to scare people and isn't real. Not to scare people or gain attention, but to hopefully put this controversy to a end also to stop people from continuing to make creepypastas about it in order to poke fun in internet marketing. There's lots of translations the ones wanting to know very well what he was quoted saying, but most people don't exactly know very well what he explained. But if a number of the translations translate correctly, this indicates he was talking to someone; presumably through his stream or through his computer since we're not seen inside the video. Originally, the video was a like stream over a platform called VK, also it was later uploaded to a YouTube channel called Gore and was active approximately 16 hours prior to platform moderators removed it. He have been streaming morning on October, 17. At around 9 am he brought out an assault rifle, sat down, said a few words, and committed suicide on stream. But inside 1444 link that has gone viral, it was edited to only show his last words along with the actual suicide. Has anyone seen the whole sequence of video 1444? Simply a sequence to ensure YouTube failed to detect that it absolutely was a suicide. YouTube video which includes gone viral as part of a supposed “cursed” story. The video appears initially in one of the secret groups by which gores images are shared. Most assault rifles are incredibly quick to fireside and incredibly deadly upclose in point blank range. The video spread rapidly as it incites users to click with no knowledge of just what they will see. A longer version of the recording shows Korbalev’s body about the couch for more than a couple of hours prior to police arrive. Whatever the situation, video 1444 shows us the new technological era is just not exempt from its own curses or ghost stories, simply the place has evolved. However, it's also an area which includes generated spooky mysteries as well as supposed curses and ghosts. Here in cyberspace, lose your pounds . have emerged a brand new path in the paranormal, that regarding ghosts, curses and also other phenomena which may have firmly taken root within this new medium of our own contemporary times. For those who have the goal of watching the video. In order to break the curse, the video would have to be answered with the date of the supposed suicide 17/10/2019 for instance. Before shooting himself he warned anyone to not notify his parents straight away and referenced a Russian suicide meme prior to taking his life. The facts presented inside the macabre video came about in Moscow last Thursday, October 17, always in accordance in doing what was published inside Russian forums. Korbalev was a university student in Moscow. The man's name was Gleb Korablev, he was an 18 yr old university student in Moscow, Russia. As for it's sudden appearance and why it had gotten popularity or why it's strange name of random numbers; it really is explained by Reignbot. The users invented who uploaded the recording created an urban legend about this. According to many Internet users, the recording would be cursed. Hinton’s work has appeared in an array of publications in publications an internet-based, including The Guardian, The Daily Beast, Pacific Standard magazine, The Independent, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and lots of other outlets. That is the story which is sold. What do you think with the damn video 1444? If you’re curious to view this mysterious new trend on your own, you might want to postpone and think twice about that. During the live-stream, Korablev took a Saiga semi-automatic rifle and shot himself in the head.

#1444 video

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nervesbaddington · 7 years

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Life and Lyric

This won't be easy to share and it could potentially get somewhat longwinded but whatever. I just feel like I gotta do it so please bear with me ok thanks 😏

Many of you know that I've recently experienced significant growth in the relationship with my daughter. Some of you probably didn't even know I had a daughter because for a long time it's been a very sensitive subject for me to talk about due to seriously complicated and unfortunate circumstances.

Anyway, I do. I do have a daughter and her name is Lyric. She was born in Denver while I was living on the run (2005-2010) trying to avoid a ridiculous prison sentence for a ridiculous "crime" because Alabama's ridiculous laws regarding marijuana suggest I'm a hardened criminal that belongs in a cage. You probably know someone in prison for weed too, huh? Yeah. Ridiculous right?

So Lyric was born in 2008 and I was a stay-at-home-dad/starving artist (making music, touring, etc.) for the first 18 months of her life. She was a stereotypical "daddy's girl" in every aspect of the phrase but I'll stop gloating...for now. 😉

She was a year and a half old when the US Marshals kicked in the door to haul me back to Alabama to "pay my debt to society". The image of her standing up in her crib, hysterically crying, tears streaming down her cute baby face as they walked me past her bedroom in handcuffs is burned into my memory for eternity. It was brutally painful. To make it worse, they were in full on bully-mode and wouldn't even let me say goodbye. In fact, I could still hear her screaming from the police car out front.

Fast forward to about 6 months into the 42 month bid of being held captive in the Alabama Department of Corrections. To when the letters stopped coming in. To when the phone calls stopped being answered. To when Lyric's mom decided to go above and beyond in attempt to delete me from Lyric's life like I was some vague, poorly worded Facebook post made at 3:30am after polishing off a fifth of vodka. Her goal was to delete me like I never existed. Obviously, there was very little I could do about...well, anything. Especially from behind that razor wire fence. One of the first survival tactics you inevitably learn while doing time is accepting that you can't control what happens on the outside from the inside. I know it sounds like common sense but trust me, it's supremely harder than it sounds.

So as if I had a choice...I accepted it. Everything. Her mom moved on and I did my time. Luckily, Lyric's grandmother kept in touch a bit and I was able to send letters to Lyric through her. Clearly, Lyric was way too young to process any of what was going on, much less read a letter, but relentlessly I drew pictures for her, wrote her letters and thought about her constantly.

The year 2013 finally rolled around and apparently ADOC deemed me "rehabilitated" enough to be set free (re: sarcasm). To little to no surprise, just like all the OG convicts predicted, I heard from Lyric's mom literally the same week I was scheduled to be released (According to the OG's unwritten universal law; freeworld relationships can't last while your significant other is doing time). She had contacted my family and somehow they coordinated a trip from CO to AL for my release date. They were even at the prison to greet me as I walked through the back gate. One of the most surreal days of my life. I got to spend the first week as a free man with my, now 4 yr old, Lyric. It was genuinely like we never missed a beat but instead picked up right where we left off...except without all the hysterical crying (only the happy crying).

When they flew back to Denver I had hopes of transferring my probation to Colorado so I could continue being a father to Lyric and start making up for everything I'd missed during my state-sponsored vacation. Those plans came to a screeching halt when I learned about all the ridiculous (yes, THAT word again) stipulations of making that happen. I either A) needed to have immediate family living in Denver or B) needed to be married to someone living in Denver.

I know what you're thinking...having a child is considered "immediate family" right? Well here's the shittiest of all shitty things about this unfortunate situation: I was literally a fugitive from justice when Lyric was born and, as a measure of caution, did not put my name on her birth certificate. I know, I know. It's fucking awful but that's what happened. **Side note: I did, however, fill out the proper paperwork while in prison to be added but for some brilliant reason her mom never filed it and subsequently fail off the face of the earth.

I kept trying to figure out ways to be in Lyric's life. Marrying her mom was never an option and I'll spare you the details of why and just say that our relationship was an unhealthy spiral of doom and regret and the absolute last thing Lyric needed in her life. For the record, I don't subscribe to the philosophy of "staying together for the kids". That's a bullshit philosophy. But I still kept trying to figure it out. I even tried to get "fake married" to a longtime Denver homegirl just so I could move there to be close to Lyric. While that would've been understandable and totally worth it, I just couldn't go through with it. Just didn't feel right and I needed to get my life in order before I started making desperate decisions like that. Then Nerves Baddington was born and the rest is pretty much history.

After multiple fallouts with Lyric's mom which included false accusations of sending her "fake money orders" among other irrationally immature arguments, I found myself resorting back to that ol' prison survival tactic of accepting the fact that I can't control some things...only now I'm on the OUTSIDE but still (up until now) have felt circumstantially powerless as they hold my lack of LEGAL fatherly rights over my head as some sort of twisted torture device.

I've seen Lyric exactly twice in the 4+ years I've been home. Once in Birmingham and once in Denver and both times at least 4 years ago. A third attempt was made, in April of 2014, when my ever-so-rad and wonderful girlfriend Melanie and I drove all day and night to Denver just to be denied a simple visit with my Lyric. It crushed me. No words can describe the pain of being denied seeing your daughter after driving 24 hours straight. I felt like I had no choice but to give up until the universe (or whatever) grants me with an opportunity to go through the proper legal channels to access my fatherly rights. The time is now and I feel I need to strike while the proverbial iron is hot, so to speak. Obviously this is not going to be easy or inexpensive. I'm going to have to hire lawyers that practice law in Colorado. There will be much travel cost and tests and paperwork and...you name it. But it's all possible and could actually become feasible with a little love and assistance from friends and family.

I spoke with Lyric for the first time in over a year on Father's Day '17. Sincerely the best Father's Day I've ever had since joining The Club. My birthday falls around Father's Day every year and my dad passed away in 2003. Without fail since 2010 each year around this time my brain automatically goes into a very dark place. Not this year though. This has been the happiest week since...as long as I can remember and I can't help but think my dad would be just as excited as I am.

As happy as I am about this newly-fast-developing relationship with my amazing, now 8 yr old, Lyric, I also can't help but be genuinely concerned about her living situation. Since her mom has been the one keeping her from me, it wasn't until her recently "hitting bottom" and disappearing for a few weeks that Lyric actually mustered the courage and ability to find a way to contact me. I've talked to Lyric's grandmother, whose sister (Lyric's great aunt), passed away the same week her daughter had a meltdown and vanished. Apparently CPS has been involved for some time now but I honestly don't know a lot of details as to why or what's going on. Lyric is currently living with her grandmother and is seemingly in good spirits although she's a bit devastated about the whole thing. She wants to come to Birmingham but they (Lyric's mom/grandmother) have been very vocal about how that'd never be a possibility.

Until I go through the aforementioned "proper legal channels" the odds are severely stacked against me.

Which leads me to asking what you - my friends and fam - think about me starting a gofundme campaign to raise money to make this thing happen.

People often turn their nose up when others take to platforms like gofundme to ask for help. What do YOU think? Is this something worth going all out for? I think so but I'd like some input and/or reassurance here.

Thanks so much for reading and I hope one day for Lyric to see how hard I fought for her. THIS IS MY REAL DEBT TO SOCIETY and I just want to do the responsible thing.

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thegrandbunny · 5 years

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KSI vs. Logan Paul II fight: How two YouTube sensations are taking on the boxing world

For better or worse as it pertains to the world of professional boxing, a pair of world-renown internet personalities will trade punches in a fight that's all but guaranteed to draw equal measures of attention and derision from those loyal to the sweet science.

KSI vs. Logan Paul

With a combined following of over 40 million subscribers on YouTube, Logan Paul and Olajide "JJ" Olatunji (better known as KSI) have each looked at Saturday's six-round cruiserweight bout in Los Angeles (9 p.m. ET, DAZN) as an opportunity to settle a grudge and launch the winner closer to his dream of becoming the biggest entertainer in the world.

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The sport of boxing, meanwhile, has traded a portion of its soul in exchange for renting the fame and attention of the social media superstars in hopes of financial gain, which has for so long been a combat sports tradition (see pro-wrestler CM Punk's UFC career) that it would be hypocritical to complain.

Only in the carnival world of the fight game could a professional event involving celebrity amateurs take over top billing as a virtual pay-per-view main event in 2019 -- and force actual professionals to want to be part of it. That's what will take place at the Staples Center when this Matchroom Sport-promoted card will feature super middleweight titleholder Billy Joe Saunders and welterweight champion Devin Haney on the undercard.

So how exactly did we get here?

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KSI, a 26-year-old native of London who has also dabbled in both gaming and hip hop, chose to settle a grudge with fellow British YouTube Joe Weller in a 2017 amateur boxing match that drew 1.6 million live viewers and 21 million in the first day alone on YouTube. Following his third-round TKO win, KSI called out Paul, the 24-year-old from Westlake, Ohio.

Paul, an aspiring actor who has drawn plenty of controversy for the content of his YouTube clips, claimed the feud never became personal until the press conference ahead of their August 2018 amateur bout in Manchester, England, when KSI heckled him on a personal issue the two had agreed would be off the record publicly.

Their six-round bout headlined a sold-out card at Manchester Arena comprising of fellow YouTube stars, including a match between the younger brothers of the main eventers. Most surprising about the majority draw (57-57 twice, 58-57 for KSI) between Paul and KSI was how much it got onto the radar of mainstream boxing after promoter Eddie Hearn reluctantly took part.

Priced competitively at $10, the PPV was also a huge smash and did just short of the reported 1.1 million buys that the Canelo Alvarez-Gennady Golovkin middleweight title rematch did the following month. Maybe even more important as to how we got to Saturday, the fighters also showed a great amount of respect for the sport with a performance that looked like anything but the kind of tough man contest or celebrity boxing shown previously on American television.

"We absolutely did shock the world," Paul told CBS Sports' "State of Combat" podcast last month. "When you hear a YouTuber fight is going to be taking place, you think it's going to be some kind of circus pony and horse act, but we literally trained for six months straight, two times a day, and came out and looked like an actual fighter."

For the rematch, both fighters agreed to do it the right way, which means under professional terms. The headgear has been taken off. Both fighters will wear 10-ounce gloves and be subject to the same drug testing and medical screening by the California State Athletic Commission as fighters like Haney and Saunders.

The initial reaction within the boxing world when the fight was announced was split.

"I'm getting it from both sides and a lot of people think this is ridiculous because they have trained all of their lives to get to this point and we just skipped and have gone straight to the top point," KSI told CBS Sports last week. "I understand that."

For everything the fighters have done to act the part of professionals to gain respect from the boxing regime (and make their version of celebrity fighting look anything but amateur), they have done just as much to ruin said goodwill.

KSI mocked Paul's dead dog during the initial press conference (streamed live on DAZN) to announce the fight. Paul countered by bringing his mother out to "confirm" that KSI was lacking key male genitalia before both devolved into hand gestures more appropriate in a middle school locker room. The last straw for boxing itself seemed to be when both bragged in recent weeks about knocking out pro fighters in sparring.

Getting out of handsome the shit I am seeing and reading these YouTubers say about professional boxing," former junior middleweight champion Liam Smith wrote on social media. "Have you fight, then fight a proper boxer, otherwise take your money, your big viewers and f--- off. Making a show of our sport what people have dedicated there lives for."

Some just haven't been able to get past the idea of supporting a public figure like Paul who nearly had his YouTube channel deleted in early 2018 following an outcry over his insensitivity toward suicide victims when he uploaded a vlog in Japan showing a recently deceased corpse hanging from a tree.

"There is definitely a perception of Logan Paul when you hear the name and aren't subscribed to any of my content," Paul said. "I definitely play the villain online except in this fight, I think it's safe to say KSI is also a villain. This is not a villain and hero story. This is two characters who are larger than life with egos growing out of their body and it's going to be a day of reckoning."

DAZN, the all-sports streaming app which has spent hundreds of millions to disrupt the boxing market by signing big stars and announcing it has "killed PPV," believes broadcasting the fight will be a big boon to subscription. In all reality, it probably will, especially considering DAZN's affordable entry of $19.99 for a single month.

Both fighters have revealed talks about future fights on DAZN provided Saturday's rematch does well. Paul, who was an accomplished amateur wrestler, is also hoping the attention he gets leads to his dream of fighting in the UFC.

Yet despite all of the circus nature surrounding the fight, both aren't certain their careers can survive a loss on a stage this big. It's part of the reason why both have trained at such an extreme level.

"My whole career [is at stake] essentially because everything has come to this point," KSI said. "If I lose this, I'm going to be a laughing piece for years and years and maybe for the rest of my life. I'm going to have to see memes of me getting knocked down or out and I'm going to have to see countless videos of people tormenting me. It's not like a normal boxing fight where you fight and win or that's it and nothing else really happens. It's constant reminding of what happened.

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"With this fight, I want to use it to push my music career and YouTube career. It just allows me to push to a new level. That's why I spent hundreds of thousands to make sure I'm in the best position to beat Logan Paul."

It may come as no surprise that both fighters believe they won the first meeting and each has guaranteed a knockout (or in Paul's case, "murder") in the rematch. So who wins?

Paul established himself as the more credible boxer last August but gave KSI respect for rallying by turning the bout into more of a brawl. This time both have improved their craft considerably yet the removal of headgear likely means this celebrity slugfest comes down to who can land the biggest punch first.

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"Imagine two villains with the biggest egos in the world going head to head where their first match was a tie," Paul said. "This is the Tyson Fury-Deontay Wilder II, this is that fight. We are going to go f---ing ham and cheese and I'm going to hurt this man badly. It's going to be f---ing biblical."

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socialattractionuk · 5 years

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What heartbreak taught me about love

Love, Or Something Like It

In Love, Or Something Like It, our new Metro.co.uk series, we’re on a quest to find true love.

Covering everything from mating, dating and procreating to lust and loss, we’ll be looking at what love is and how to find it in the present day.

Before I had my heart broken, I thought I had a pretty good idea of what love looked like.

It was that ‘perfect pairing’, the equivalent of you in another person, someone you agreed with and shared everything with. The same friends, the same hobbies and interests – the same life.

Now I know that’s not the case.

We met at university where were both studying English. We quickly formed a tight-knit friendship group with other people on our course. We both loved travelling, Indian food, sci-fi books, good coffee, bad horror films, long walks and scuba diving. We said the same things at the same time.

We were inseparable, and it wasn’t long until we were in a relationship then moved in together after university.

For six years I loved him fiercely and unconditionally with everything I had until he came home from the pub one cold night in January last year and told me he didn’t love me anymore.

I don’t need to tell you the emotional and physical agony of heartbreak. The blindsiding loneliness, the anger, the grief so obliterating you can’t see a way out. Nausea, panic attacks, weight loss, insomnia. It happens to someone in the world every day.

The most tormenting part of my break-up was searching for a valid reason (Picture: Ali Pantony)

When you’re going through a break-up, advice comes at you from all angles – friends, family, colleagues, the guy who saw you crying on the tube and said: ‘Plenty more fish in the sea, love’. They mean well but often it’s just as unhelpful as it is cliched.

The most tormenting part of my break-up was searching for a valid reason. ‘I don’t love you anymore’ just didn’t make sense.

It wasn’t a good enough reason to suddenly throw away six years. ‘There must be something else going on,’ offered a colleague. ‘He’s just having a quarter-life crisis,’ advised a friend.

But love can simply slip through the cracks. Your pain doesn’t require a dramatic reason. You’re not owed a blockbuster break-up.

People can just check out emotionally over time, and as unjust as it feels, that’s sometimes the only explanation.

In hindsight, maybe there were signs – maybe my contentment and comfort was his disinterest and gradual detachment. Maybe somewhere along the line, we both stopped trying, and instead of checking in to try and fix it, he just checked out.

But I loved him so much that I’d been too blind to see when his love was dying.

It was only when I accepted that the answers I wanted didn’t exist that I allowed myself to start healing.

I realised that he didn’t take all of me when he left (Picture: Ali Pantony)

Trying to oust him from my life didn’t work. The advice is always the same: ‘Delete his number,’ ‘Unfollow him on Instagram,’ ‘Cull your camera roll’.

But unless you suffer a case of blissful selective amnesia, you won’t be able to forget those memories that heartbreak makes you pine for.

When you’ve spent so long with someone, it’s easy to feel like you’ve lost who you are when they leave. But we were someone before they came into our lives, and we will be someone after they’ve gone.

What helped me was replacing those memories, not erasing them.

I remembered all the things I loved before the relationship – drunken nights out with my best friends in our hometown, coming home after a long day and sticking EastEnders on TV (don’t @ me) and weekends hanging out at my parents’ house just me.

And soon I realised that he didn’t take all of me when he left. I’d been here all along – different, yes but still me.

And perhaps that’s the most important thing I’ve learned: heartbreak fundamentally changes you and everything you thought you knew about love, and that’s okay.

I’m still me but I’m a better me. I’m stronger, wiser and more independent. I’m as tough as they come. I’m more confident from overcoming the battered self-esteem left in the wake of all break-ups.

My friends were my lifeline during the worst of it – they held my hands as he packed up his stuff, they poured me wine and took me out when I was agonising over what he was doing. They took me in their arms when I found out he’d started seeing someone else.

A happy relationship doesn’t necessarily mean having the world in common (Picture: Ali Pantony)

They showed me the meaning of true love when I was at my lowest, and I’m a better friend because I’ve realised that they are my constants.

I’ve learned to love smarter, not love less, and not to give so much of myself away because I know that I am the only person who deserves all of me.

I’ve learned that a happy relationship doesn’t necessarily mean having the world in common. I’ve now met a man who is Christian to my atheist.

I’m a Gooner, he supports Man United. He’s Team Michael (or used to be, at least!) while I was firmly Team Amber.

He likes superhero films, the only thing I liked about the Batman franchise was Michael Caine. We have never once said the same thing at the same time.

But it’s the very fact that we don’t fit together perfectly that makes us understand each other better.

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We have interesting discussions, and if we disagree or argue, we talk it out so that there are no discrepancies between what we each count as reality.

He listens to me, and I listen to him. There is laughter, excitement, compassion – and he lets me watch EastEnders. After all that I’ve been through, that fits me just fine.

I used to think the measure of a relationship was its longevity – the successful ones lasted forever, the failed ones ended. Now I know that just because a relationship ends, it doesn’t mean that it has failed.

My ex brought incredible things to my life, and ultimately, our relationship taught me everything I know about love and myself. For that, I’ll be forever grateful.

Ali’s debut novel, Almost Adults, is available on ebook now and paperback 8th August.

Last week in Love, Or Something Like It: Dating as a recovering alcoholic presents a whole new set of challenges

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Love, Or Something Like It is a brand new series for Metro.co.uk, published every Saturday. If you have a love story to share, email [email protected]

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