#and again happy fic-aversary! 🎊🎉

[fullscoreshenanigans]

I had a dream where a extra chapter was released where Ray, Emma, and Norman had a pretend wedding when they were 9. The whole thing was a joke but when they got to Rays vows they were genuinely so moving and heartfelt yet out of the blue and I wanted to cry. For their fake wedding they used a white Lilly of the valley. They placed the Lilly in a vase. Then the chapter turned to a zooming out panel. The setting changed to post Norman's shipment in the dining hall, that in the same exact vase was a wilted, bright red flower next to where Ray was sitting. The chapter ended with;

"Till death do us part."

And then I woke up and cried for 3 hours

Dramatic-ass baby (he would though; Norman too jdfkkdh </3)

Always thinking about @poolboyatthevampiiremansion's one-shot w.a.m.s. where they have a play wedding that they end up treating as legit and highly encourage any REN enthusiasts to give it a read (coincidentally it just had its first anniversary yesterday 🎉)

Like Isabella gets them rings to use that they end up keeping even post-escape?? Mine fucking ass???

Also Emma uses the music box Isabella gave her as the musical accompaniment to their ceremony I

More gushing below the cut:

Bruh 🥺🤧😭 Olympic medal mental gymnast in order to maintain her sanity. Heart ripped in two in the first section alone.

Emma is still so young here and she’s not hitting the 300 marks like Norman yet, but there’s such a vitality to her that’s firmly nestled itself into Isabella’s heart, bittersweetness and all with how she reminds her of her young, warm, outgoing self we see in the flashbacks with Leslie in the second light novel. Love how this is brought out here with little touches like this. Combined with how Emma is one of the first children she’s raised completely by herself as a mom, Isabella allows herself to feel more attachment and hope with her and probably commits moments like this to memory even after her near five years at the house.

The softness she regards them with, almost proto-shoujo bubbles. 🖤🫧🧡🫧🤍

Norman, adorably, hesitating because he’s still grappling with latent feelings he can’t even begin to articulate about his friends, but at the forefront of them is how he unquestionably gravitates to them and is attune to all their little nuances.

Ray, heartbreakingly, hesitating because he’s grappling with the reality he’s beginning to comprehend and the crushing acceptance that he can’t save all his siblings as things stand now, and after already narrowing it down to just Emma and Norman, being faced with the question of if he could honestly live with himself if he chose one to save over the other. The conclusion he comes to further bolsters his resolve to confront Isabella in just a few short weeks, and foreshadows the devastation of Norman’s shipment after a lifetime of realization and meticulous planning.

Really like the quiet magnitude of this both for Emma and Norman’s blissful unawareness of the farm system’s horrors conceived for them and ofc from the future romantic perspective as being the core foundational tenant of REN. 🖤🧡🤍

LITTLE BABY BOY BEING SO BABY EMBARRASSED AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH >///< 🤍🤍 AND SHE MADE THEM FLOWER RINGS?? HEART SWELL HEART SWELL SHE LOVES HER BOYS SM 🖤🧡🤍

And to his credit this is a very speedy recovery for him lol

Love the balance between Norman’s blatant feelings for Emma everyone but her is fully aware of with his burgeoning subconscious ones he holds for Ray (he was playing with or calmly stroking his hair I’m?? qwq the counterpoint to this is obs that boys should be allowed to be innocently intimate like this in a world where so many men are touch-starved due to societal conventions, but with the awareness of endgame REN, love those little gestures of comfort that cement each other as their home that transcend the physical boundary of two worlds.)

and oml if Isabella ever let him touch her hair at any point I wonder if he subconsciously makes the link between them, god I love pain

BIG SIS OLIVIA MOMENTS!!! BIG SIS OLIVIA MOMENTS TOWARD EMMA THE LITTLE EXCITABLE POOFBALL!!! healing |33 love thinking about all the habits the trio might have picked up from their older siblings.

I abuse the phrase “adorable imagery” so much in my review of this fic, but they are so fucking cute, and it makes the ending of the sentence with Isabella hit even harder fucking sobbing, clawing at the furniture, eating the drywall; such an excellent choice 🤧

Baby going through an existential crisis but still trying to be present for his bffs/soon-to-be spouses and genuinely finding some solace in these moments with them that’ll solidify his resolve to confront Isabella in just a few days.

And being rewarded with a trademark Norman Smile™. I need a moment—

The masochist in me wonders if Ray ever looked down at his ring during his confrontation with Isabella at the gate, and if she picked up then that Emma and Norman were the reasons he was doing all of this. Not as like blackmail or anything since none of them were ever in danger of being shipped out with their scores even before Ray pulled his up and helped Emma with hers so he’d call any bluff she made on that front, but you know, just something she’d muse about as another layer of her tumultuous relationship with her son and wondering if she had a similar ceremony with Leslie when they were children, if that would have made her feel worse or if it might have provided him with more comfort in his final moments.

Anyways, when you’re the absolute biggest softie who loves your bffs more than anything but you’re trying not to look like the absolute biggest softie qwq (I’m sure Isabella noted that, too, how he asked for three chains instead of just two when he could have explained it away to Emma and Norman that he could only find two for them and he’d just make do without one.)

FUCK FUCK FUCK this is such an agonizing choice because as far as he knows, the ring is just going to be tossed out, and he didn’t know what Ray was doing with the photographs, so he could have reasoned it was something to remember him by and left it behind, coming to the conclusion he was being selfish by keeping it.

But we love a little selfish genius boy (since he’s not really being selfish but is just one for the dramatics) and I love how he made that conscious decision to hold on to it as a commitment to that love. Also makes him leaving the cups with Isabella hurt a bit less. </3

Good god though all the times he probably held onto it or at least rested his hand on it like when he approached the truck at the gate before Isabella escorted him into the side room, or possibly one of the times they made him remove it if they put him under when giving him the Lambda brand. _(:△」∠)_ I am completely fine.

Minerva, the man, the myth, the legend, can have two loves, as a treat. Builds up the mystique flkjlskddf 🧡🤍🖤

WE LOVE A POLY POSITIVE LAMBDA CREW 👏👏👏

“this little guy came in and razed Lambda to the ground along with a handful of other farms in the span of a few short months, is going to wipe out all the demons that have preyed upon humans for centuries, and loves two people with all his heart because he just has so much love to give. he is a god there is nothing he can’t do. :)”

I REPEAT HE IS SUCH A DRAMATIC MF I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

“flimsy” aaaaaah that he was so protective over not only the ring itself, but also the chain when he undoubtedly could have found a replacement one at some point since escaping Lambda. The commitment to keeping it all intact for when he saw them again and his exposing it and laying all of that bare for Emma to eventually pick up on acting as a reflection of the first time he could feel this open and vulnerable again since being shipped (not entirely ofc, but still)

I wondered if canon was going to be retooled for this scene to have Ray in the room with Emma for the initial reveal instead of having him come in with the rest of the group, but I think Norman being so overwhelmed by Ray being alive when he knew Ray had committed himself to dying for them works to make it canon compliant, given the resolute look we see him give Ray in that short montage cut from S1e11. Even if he wasn’t aware of how much self-loathing Ray held for himself like Emma discovered, it’s still an emotional experience, knowing he spent years valuing his life only so much as it could be used to facilitate their escape without seeing how he enriched his and Emma's lives.

It makes the choice to use the translation of “I’m glad I’m alive!” as opposed to “I’m glad you're alive!” for Ray’s response even more poignant. 🖤

i cannot believe he is keeping this up like bro, they know you love them, bro, you are so transparent, bro, that said never change, bro

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 when the REN so real it transcends the mortal plane 🖤🧡🤍🙏

oh I love how in character this feels with that silent yet unconditional love grounded in physical touch (along with gifts and acts of service being his preferred love languages). With how many times he questioned his memories before confronting Isabella and now after almost two years of believing Norman was dead, there’s even more comfort to be found there in just being able to hold on to them.

me at Norman being comfortable enough to tear up in front of them after almost two years of resolutely refusing to show his tears to anyone else, either out of pride, spite, or attempting to project a façade of strength and power, and Ray after a lifetime at Grace Field where every emotional response had to be regulated and measured qwq

All incredibly tender; I remain deceased even a year after its publication