#and also Magdalena but mostly lonely town

[lonely-t0wn]

On the one hand, not really too excited for a bflow solo album if it’s similar musically to pressure machine. On the other hand, he will most definitely do another solo tour which means a chance to hear lonely town live so

[laborreguitazul]

Psych Unit and Then Homeless Stories of my 30s

I been missing for a while because I been in a psych unit. In this psych unit there would be 30 patients me being one of them. I ended up having 4 roomates in the span of 2 weeks which seems to be my stay.

I stayed in the psych unit from 10/20/22-11/11/22 no idea what that is in human weeks or months since time just seems to morph into this never ending blob of Deja Vu. You get a crap ton of Deja Vu while you are in the psych unit, it seems like you are repeating the same days again and again and at times with different faces.

I had dreams with people that ended up becoming true and I ended up meeting this one girl I had a dream with that same morning I met her around 4 am right after I woke up from the dream that I saw her with her wild hair and her light eyes. I won't say who you are but you know who you are. Wild and free plant and bottle collector! I miss you so much, thanks for all those nice things that you said about me in group. I am not used to hearing compliments at all. I am used to dishing out the compliments not actually getting anything back. I am usually the one that gives it all in any relationships and don't really get much back. I might get a thanks but that's about it nothing really that amazes me like the amount of things you said about me, I am not used to hearing how smart I am.

I did keep hearing this in the psych ward, End you sure are something, you are very smart. You can read and write in 3 languages. Even though my Korean in my opinion is very infantile and I do mess up so bad with English but English to be honest is one of the hardest languages I had to learn.

There are other patients that helped me a lot mainly during the times I kept breaking and crying like a freaking Magdalena and also I ended up spiraling down when I smelled burnt hair it reminded me of 9/11 and I had to smell the air from even 45 minutes from where it was and I could see the towers from my town and I could see the fact that they were not there any more. I thought that I put that way and was over with it until I smelt burnt hair and it reminded me of the smell of those 3 months of infernal doom that NY and NJ had to put up with. The smell lingered that long if my memory servers me right and it was horrible.

I can't take away the smell of burnt hair, bodies, and fuel from my mind I realized I had not addressed it until I was in the psych unit and people were shocked that I had to live through that they couldn't see it because they were in PA but it still affected the rest of the country but the fact that I got to see it as it happened was just a lot also I was a child when this happened. I was in 8th grade sure not too small but young enough that shapes and changes the way you think. That is the main reason that I am Childfree because the world changed a lot after that.

Now how am I homeless? Well you see my family is very abusive mainly my mother who is a narcissist at times she admits she has an issue but other times she pretends not to . My brother well he keeps to himself mainly he said he was going to lock me in the basement with dishes I couldnt do because I was having a carpal tunnel flair up in my arm and I also was sick with Acne Inversa and I was on some heavy antibiotics for that but to them that didnt seem to matter. That every time I moved it hurt. And my mother tried hitting me with a hot skillet that had oil in it she is small but since she is my mother I am not able to put my hands on her or really defend myself because it will be seen as my fault. My brother did seperate us. So I cannot go back to that or I really will go jump in some bridge or end myself by other means.

They know this so they freed me to this homes situation where I am mostly alone it was very lonely this weekend if it wasnt for the internet I would have gone even more insane from how lonely it got. I saw a cat though which cheered me up and he saw me too. I wish to take him home but I am sure that isnt allowed in the rules. Sigh, can't I just make him my therapy pet? I wonder

Well This is your Wayward Unit Mate signing off

[deadrlngers]

i might treat myself a bit rn and do smth i never do: talk about my original stories. under the cut

in today’s picrew post i mentioned i have a slow burn wlw vampire romance story and idk. just feel like elaborating. we are in a kind of fantasy medieval setting, still unsure tbh becasue i like the idea of making it more gothic, thinking but anyways

amelia magdalena teodora von rosencort (three names bc she’s hot) is the last vampire of her super ancient vampire clan that perished accidentally by her own hands causing amelia to remain all alone. the slaughter of her family rests heavy over her mind (long story short she tried to stop them from doing smth “bad” but truth is her family was trying to help her, won’t go too much into detail about this for now) and she decided to inflict upon herself a infinite lonely confinement in the halls of her super cool castle but still, whats a super cool castle to someone that has to live alone in it for her whole never ending life. the only company she has is a spirit-like entity that mostly does all her housework, i guess they are like a butler in the castle and they are the only “person” that speaks sometimes with amelia. her biggest passion is strolling around her beautiful garden at night. there’s a always-present melancholy about her.

juliana is a commoner, third daughter among 5 siblings (all daughters, what a hit) and they were left orphans at young age. she is the most enterprising out of all her sisters and she’s jumping from one job to the other to try and bring coin to the family, she did a lot of different things from bodyguard for some kind of rich stupid lord to baker. she’s headstrong, brave, doesn’t accept shit from anyone and sometimes her older sisters need to come pick her up before she does smth stupid. but she also has a gentle heart, ready to help anyone in need. in town everyone loves her. she suddenly lands a new job as a gardner for a super cool castle hiding in the forest not so far from her little town.

the job: twice every week, juliana goes to this castle but has no memory of it each time. amelia specifically brews some kind of concoction that makes juliana’s last memories of the day vanish so she doesn’t remember of being in the castle at all. amelia does this to...keep some kind of secrecy. it’s funny bc every time she sends her away she needs to call her back to work again, sends a letter saying she needs someone for her garden and each time juliana is like oh! new job (her sisters are like ??????). ofc at some point amelia starts to enjoy juliana’s company, talks with her and so on and each time she gets a bit more sad that she will have to wipe away her memory. it’s a whole story of first meetings that aren’t first meetings UNTIL. until something happens :)))