#and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele

[moonb-eam]

hey, i don’t know if you recognize me, but i‘m that girl that always writes these novels in your comment sections on ao3, and i was wondering if you could answer 7 and 12 from these 40 questions you just posted? ♥️♥️🌒

oh my gosh ella hello!!! of course i recognize you ahhh how are you my love?? ✨ thank you so much for the questions!

fic writer asks

7. share a snippet from one of your favourite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it

i think one of my personal favourite stories i’ve published is la lune et le soleil, because i’m proud of how it’s written, but i also wrote it while sitting in a park one afternoon, until the sun started to go down, and also it’s for janice, who i love with my whole heart, but this is all a tangent, and i’ll just say i’m very fond of the ending of the fic. i like the atmosphere it evokes, this little twilight scene, and to me it felt perfect for the story. when i wrote those final two lines, i had the biggest smile on my face:

Eliott smiles and points up, up, and they both look skywards, and there’s the moon and there’s the sun, and wait, there’s the moon and there’s the sun looking back at them.

And while yes, it might be nice to be a creature of the sky, to rule in a world of stars and meteors and impossible colour and light, to be a moon and a sun and to be adored by so many, to live within song and story and painting, there’s also something to be said for being a creature of the earth, the sort of creature that can reach out for another, and have fingers reaching back, entwined, clasped, together, together.

Eliott and Lucas walk under the twilight sky hand in hand, laughing together and in love, so in love, and isn’t that the best part of being human?

Lucas rises on his toes and kisses Eliott on the cheek, his mouth lingering there to giggle into Eliott’s ear, to whisper, hi sunshine, but he’s not done, and the moon and sun themselves strain to listen, lingering far too long on their horizons, to hear Lucas whisper, I love you.

Eliott whispers it back, I love you, and kisses Lucas’s forehead.

The moon, light as a feather, rises.

The sun sighs, blushes, and sets.

☀️🌙

12. is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

if this is referring to an episode of skam france then YES absolutely!! le premier is endlessly inspiring to me - there’s just something in it that touches me so deeply, the anticipation before the kiss, the exhilaration of the little dance they do with the flashlight, all of it leading to that kiss in the rain??? to me, it’s like…jubilant youth and nostalgia and love and wonder all in one episode and i just adore it.

40. write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one)

hmmmm okay okay

a very, very minimally alternate ending to sk8ter boi (chapter three), under the cut

They take a spill a few minutes later, both of them hitting the pavement. It’s not too bad, they weren’t going too fast, but Lucas scrapes his elbow and Eliott scrapes his hand and his knee, and they both laugh about it as they right themselves brushing dirt off of their jeans, nursing their wounds with exaggerated pouts, and still reaching for each other’s hands when they begin to walk the rest of the way, Eliott’s board tucked securely under his arm.

“I have band-aids at my place,” Eliott tells him. “I can patch you up.”

“Somehow, that doesn’t surprise,” Lucas says with a sigh.

Eliott makes a face. “Are you implying that I’m not graceful?”

“I’m implying that you ride a death trap for fun. Also yeah, are you kidding me? You have the legs and the coordination of a baby horse.”

“I believe the word you’re looking for is foal,” Eliott says icily, his face is thrown into long shadow as they pass underneath a streetlight. He makes a show of dropping Lucas’ hand. “And if I’m not mistaken, I used to see you checking my legs out at the skatepark.”

Lucas blushes, but he shrugs, wincing when the motion pulls at the skin around his elbow. “Whatever.”

“Ohhh, no comeback, huh?” Eliott’s voice lowers to a whisper for an invisible audience. “It’s because it’s true.”

Lucas snorts, gently punching Eliott in the side and ducking down when he aims a swipe at his head.

“You say that when you used to always check out my ass at school. It was so obvious.”

“Used to?” Eliott leers at him and Lucas groans, batting him away and grinning when Eliott grips onto his hand, tugging it upwards so he can press a kiss to his knuckles.

“You’re hot,” Eliott says solemnly into his knuckles, and Lucas nods.

“I know.”

“Lucas. You’re supposed to say it back.”

“Eliott. You’re…” He squints at Eliott, who’s still pressing his lips to Lucas’ knuckles and it occurs to Lucas that they’ve stopped walking, on the edge of a small park, caught in the pale darkness between two streetlights. Lucas almost can’t see Eliott’s eyes like this, but he can feel them, a touch as tangible as soft lips to tender skin.

The longer they stand there, the more words Lucas thinks of. You’re hot. You’re really, really hot. You’re sexy. You’re weird. You’re beautiful. You’re a dork. You’re so funny. You’re annoying. You’re the sweetest. You’re amazing. You’re my favourite person.

“You’re okay,” Lucas says, but his voice is low and the words are heavy under the weight of what’s unsaid.

Eliott smiles at him like he can hear the rest of it on the gentle wind.

“Do you…” he says slowly, lowering Lucas’ hand but keeping their fingers linked together, “know the song ‘First Day of my Life’?”

Lucas’ brows furrow together. “No.” His eyes dance across the outline of Eliott’s face curiously. “I don’t think so.”

“Oh. Really?”

“Yeah, I don’t…” Lucas shrugs again. He gets the feeling he’s missing something important, and it makes him nervous. “Why?”

“Nah, it’s nothing. You should just…look it up sometime.”

Lucas squints at him again. “Why?” He draws the question out, long and teasing enough that Eliott laughs, turning forwards again and tugging Lucas along, brining them into another faerie’s ring of artificial light.

“Because it’s the song.” Eliott says on a giggle, and it takes Lucas a second, but when he gets it, he stops them again.

“The song? Like the song? The one you posted about me?”

“Yeah.”

They’re grinning at each other, Lucas with a rush of excitement, bouncing onto his toes, Eliott with a touch of bashfulness, rocking back onto his heels.

Lucas takes a step closer to him. “How does it go?”

“Oh. Well, I mean, I can play it on my phone-”

Lucas shakes his head. “Can you sing it?”

Eliott’s eyes widen. He lets out a disbelieving laugh. “No fucking way.”

“Please.”

“Nope.”

“Please.”

Eliott sighs, rolling his head back onto his neck.

“Those fucking eyes,” he groans, and Lucas giggles, taking another step closer.

“Please, Eliott?” He asks quietly. He bats his lashes slowly, the streetlight casting long shadows across his cheekbones. “For me?”

“Stop.” Eliott laughs. “As if you don’t already know I’d do anything for you.”

Lucas’ smile falls, just a little, and his free hand smoothes Eliott’s hair back from his forehead. “I’d like to hear it.” He says softly. “I mean it. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, since you brought it up.”

“Fine.” Eliott shakes his head a little, eyes drifting down to Lucas’ lips, then back up. “Fine, okay.” He takes a small step back, Lucas’ hand falling to his shoulder as he bobs his head from side to side trying to pick up an internal melody.

“Okay, it goes something like, ‘this is the first day of my life…’”

Eliott doesn’t make it very far into the song without laughing, fudging the melody and forgetting the words, but Lucas stays silent, smiling and swaying them on the spot, and if anyone were to see them, a passerby taking their dog for a late night walk, a melancholic insomniac leaning out of their bedroom window for a cigarette, a poet watching from the fire escape, they would see two scraped-up boys slow dancing on the sidewalk, and they would hear, very, very faintly,

so if you want to be with me, with these things there’s no telling, we’ll just have to wait and see, but i’d rather be working for a paycheck than waiting to win the lottery

besides maybe this time it’s different, i mean, i really think you like me

[shakingalltheway]

And another one...

Nardwuar: Who are you? Dave: I’m Dave and Graham.

N: From who? D: From whom?

N: From the rock & roll band Blur. Graham: No, from the pop group Blur.

N: (in English accent) from Bri-tain. G: From England. D: Ensemble.

N: From England. G: From, um, Britain.

N: Now we have Graham & Dave here, right? D: Right. G: Yeah.

N: Now who are we missing…uhh…. D: Damon & Alex.

N: Damon & Alex, yes. Now what about the groupings, like how are you guys known. Are you guys the quiet ones, have we got the quiet ones? D/G: (no response)

N: ‘Cause I would think a logical grouping might be Dave and Damian and Alex and Graham. G: There’s no Damian in this group.

N: Oh, I’m sorry. I just like saying 'Damian’, you know. Dave and Damon. D: So is that a question?

N: Umm, I’m just saying about like grouping, like you two are stuck here together doing the interview. isn’t like Alex the one who always gets drunk and always smokes? G: He’s the one, yeah. D: He does do a bit of drinking and smoking, yeah. Does that help with interviews then?

N: Well, i’m just curious, how does Damon…Just beginning a bit with Damon here for one second…How does Damon get his hair like that? Does he use gel? Is there a special thing? It’s beautiful, his hair. I was talking to him earlier actually and he told me I don’t stand a chance for doing that. D: Doing what?

N: Getting hair like Damon. I have no chance to be like him. G: You need to have it cut, don’t you?

N: Now Damon also really came down hard on my shoes. my shoes. Now what are you guys wearing here? Are you endorsed by somebody? Can you lift it up so we can see? G: Vans (mumble mumble)

N: You got given Vans? G: All in the wrong sizes and the wrong types.

N: 'Cause that band NOFX they’re sponsored by Doc Martens. G: Wow. D: That’s pretty impressive.

N: That’d be pretty good. Now what do you think of my shoes right here? These ones. G: They’re a bit dirty. D: But you’re going for that kind of wacky interviewer look, aren’t you, with the funny hat and the weird shoes that don’t really go with what you’re wearing, so…

N: No, I mean basically what i’m trying to get to is Damon really came down hard on my shoes right here because you know everybody thinks ‘Oh, Blur are mods.’ You guys are not mods, are you? G: No.

N: 'Cause like I always think of mods like '65 Who, R&B, all that stuff. Mods wouldn’t wear converse. You’re not mods, are you? G: No, We’re not mods. D: What’s this? (pointing to crest on Nardwuar’s jacket)

N: That’s the insignia from the royal Vancouver yacht club incorporated in 1905 in Vancouver. D: Are you actually a member of this?

N: Yes I am, I became a member when I was very young for fifty dollars, but I was very young. You’re not mods are you? I just want to get this out of the way. You’re not mods. Because I read this thing, they had this huge thing in melody maker – Blur, hello, how ya doin’? – Blur are mods. And I was like alright mods! Gonna be like the Squires. Remember those bands? Even like Headcoats, you know that type of cool deerstalker hat… G: (sounding slightly perturbed) Headcoats are not mod!

N: Well you know what I mean, that mod style. Like you’re not mod. You’re not mod. Like blur are not mod. You guys have effects pedals. What are all those effects pedals you have, Graham? G: They’re mod pedals.

N: Yeah, modulation pedals, but I mean… G: you press one of them and a parka suddenly appears

N: Wait a second there graham, when Townshend hit “I can’t explain” notes, like in '66, he wasn’t usin’ too many pedals. you ain’t mod. You go to big recording studios. You have keyboards and stuff. You’re not mod. Even your look isn’t mod. Those clothes aren’t mod! You’re not mod! G: Who gives a fuck?

N: No, I’m just curious, will you agree with me… It’ll really help me get through this. D: Yeah.

N: But Damon’s dad did manufacture some kind of soft machine stuff…That’s kind of mod though, getting down with the soft machine. D: They were totally progressive hippies.

N: His dad was like artistic designer for the soft machine. G: He was involved, s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s, yeah.

N: That’s very kind of who-ish…b-b-b-b-b-b-b, ain’t seen nuthin’ yet, very stuttering, that’s very good. G: Ain’t seen nuthin’ yet?

N: Yeah, it’s bto, you know, b-b-b-b-b-b-baby, you ain’t seen nuthin’ yet, it’s kind of like a cop because Randy Dachman, the guy who wrote that song, I think his half brother had stuttering problems. hello! how ya doin’? D: What happened to your leg? (referring to Nardwuar’s cane)

N: W-w-w-well I kinda pulled a legament. D: Legament?

N: Yes I pulled a legament. I pulled a ligament in my leg. This is Dave. Dave, how ya doin’? Now Dave you’re really into style and substance. Now what about the Kinks? You guys like the Kinks, right? Come on, the Kinks, please. D: I did for a while. They don’t really have many records out these days.

N: 'Cause you are in Blur. Now I realize that Blur might know some stuff about the British music scene that other people do not. Now is it true that Mick Avory, you know Mick Avory, Mick Avory, one of the guys in the Kinks, tried to kill Dave Davies? They hated each other. D: Yeah. They were always pouring beer over each other and stuff.

N: Do you know if that’s true or not. Did Mick Avory try to kill Dave Davies? G: Dave Davies, you know everyone gets in a bad mood sometimes, especially brothers.

N: Jesus was a black man, jesus was batman, no batman was… D: Your arse.

N: Yeah exactly! like I asked that same thing to Damon and he said batman was Bruce Wayne. I do not understand, Blur, please Graham & Dave of blur, please, I do not understand the Ryder guy. That guy is ugly. Shaun Ryder. I mean i’m gross too, but he’s ugly. D/G: (silence)

N: He’s ugly isn’t he, Shaun Ryder? D: I don’t know. (pause) What do you mean?

N: He’s just an ugly guy and I was reading in this paper that Kermit, you know good old Kermit – Dave, are you still there? – Kermit broke his ankle, who cares… D: Kermit the frog?

N: yeah, I know Kermit from the Ryders broke his little ankle…now you my friend, you, Graham, you mod effects pedal guy, you got hit by a car. Now there was photographers nicely on hand. How come? Was it staged? Can you show me any scars now, 'cause some people believe it might’ve been staged. You know Kermit breaks his ankle, I can’t get over that, but you’re kind of on that thing where you apparently got hit by a car, I mean, it’s tragic getting hit by a car, but i’m saying in the sense that it was all documented. What’s the deal on that? G: I was leaving some Dolce cabana party so there was a lot of photographers there trying to see if there was famous people coming in or out and there were so many that I couldn’t see the road properly and I got hit by a car and they all took pictures and went back to…

N: Have you ever been stimulated by shampoo, at all, Dave? D: Stimulated, by voisine.

N: Yeah, shampoo, voiz? D: That’s really Damon’s bag.

N: I thought he was celibate since he met Justine. D: Doubt that very much.

N: Because according to this woman (holds up picture from British tabloid of English lass Damon lost his virginity to) right here…Who is this woman? G: I think they sleep together.

N: Well this was his old lover Jane, Jane, and she said she kept a relationship with him two years into Justine’s relationship. What do you remember about Jane here? You grew up with Damon, right? G: mmm

N: What do you remember about Jane? G: Nothing really. She was just a girl. She lives about 4 doors away from my parents.

N: She said that Damon did not have a cockney accent and he also collected fossils. (Dave & Graham grab Nardwuar’s question card)

N: Those are the questions! you can’t rip that card! This is Damon’s lost long love. D: Ask us the question.

N: Whatever happened to the Dolly Mixture? The band the Dolly Mixture, Graham of Blur? G: Don’t know.

N: Dave of Blur… D: It was the Dolly Mixtures, wasn’t it?

N: Yeah, like whatever happened to them, like captain sensible had something to do with them. D: I don’t know. Captain sensible lives in Hullsford (???) now, in Essex.

N: Do you think he still has a career? D: I’m sure he still does something.

N: Where are Bro? Bros. Where are those guys? G: Ha ha ha Bro. Bros.

N: Yeah, Where are them? D: Where are them?

N: Yeah, legament. Where are them. You’re very good. You’re the only one to graduate from school, right Dave? D: You don’t graduate from school in England, you just leave.

N: Where are Bros? D: I think one of them’s having an unfruitful solo career, and the guy they sacked, with the dark hair, was writing for this woman.

N: One of the bands I don’t understand that’s frequently featured a few years ago was the Frank and the Walters. Now you look kind of like one of those guys, Dave. Whatever happened to them? D: Frank and Walters, they’re still going, I think. Didn’t they have a novelty hit, or something…a northern novelty hit.

N: the Frank and the Walters…Now you guys go wow, like the Frank and the Walters, who cares, but Blur and the Frank and the Walters could become one. Like you could end up in that big retirement villa too, as I alluded to Damon earlier. Does that scare you, being put away in the retirement villa with the Frank and the Walters, Dave? D: You’re too wacky for words. I can’t bring myself to tell you how wacky you are. G: Anything for a quiet life.

N: Do you like hats? D: Yeah.

N: What do you think about the Stone Roses since they kicked that guy out who doesn’t have the hat? Are they finished? Sorry, they kicked the guy out with the hat. Was he the drummer, Dave? D: He was actually, yeah.

N: What happened to him? Like he had a hat and they kicked him out. D: I think he lost his “i”. They all have names that end in “i”. So they had to get somebody else in with an “I”.

N: That’s kind of sad that he lost an “I”. Are the Stone Roses finished, are they finished? D: Reni, that’s it. G: No, they’re not finished at all.

N: Oh come on, they’re long gone. They waited too long. It’s over. G: I read a review of their gig, not long ago they did a concert, and it was supposed to be like seeing god.

N: But come on, do you like Mr. Bean at all? What is good about Mr. Bean is that it’s way better than Stone Roses. Mr. Bean, the tv thing, is way better than the Stone Roses. G: The thing about Mr. Bean is it’s not very loud.

N: What do you mean. Mr. Bean, It’s all improvised. G: It’s silent, isn’t it.

N: Are you implying something? G: You get noise but no laughter.

N: But the Stone Roses are finished. I like Mr. Bean. Are you mad at me. Are you mad at me? Hey! Are you mad at me because I like Mr. Bean… G: I’m just an angry young man.

N: Are you mad at me because I like Mr. Bean better than the Roses? D: No, I’d probably agree with you. I’m not very fond of either, really.

N: Have you ever eaten out of Linda Mccartney’s cookbook at all? D: I read that, I read that question.

N: Then you’re well prepared to answer it. Have you, Dave of the band Blur, not mods or anything, eaten out of the Mccartney thing. You’ve thought about this a bit. D: She makes fine pies. G: I like her products.

N: Did you get to meet her when they did that big album all together, did she bring any food or catering there? D: No. We weren’t really involved in that. We just gave 'em an instrumental and said stick it on.

N: Was George Harrison around at all at that time? G: Not that I remember.

N: Are you allowed to meet George Harrison? D: Do I want to meet George Harrison? He’s not a big hero of mine. G: I like Georgie. Met George Martin.

N: Now are you a mod Graham that’s into the guitar mod or ska mod? G: Skod.

N: You’re a ska mod? G: A skod.

N: You like the ska/mod. G: No, I’m not.

N: I don’t want scones or high tea at the empress hotel. You like the Tamla, you like the Motown, you’re down with John Entwistle. G: Kent records.

N: You like Joe Meek, who committed suicide and killed his landlady as well. I was still curious, thought, about George Harrison, and w-w-w-w-what I’m curious about George Harrison is, Do you think that the Beatles anthology – again we’re speaking here to Graham and Dave from Blur – Do you think the Beatles anthology was an excuse for George Harrison to earn some extra money? Like to put him through retirement. 'Cause remember they did the Rolling Stones tour, the Steel Wheels tour, that was apparently to get Ronnie Wood’s son off heroin. That’s the only reason they did the steel wheels tour. Now what about your visions of the Harrison/Beatles anthology thing. Do you think that Harrison did it at all? D: Did what?

N: Do you think he needed the bucks. Did Harrison need the bucks. D: Maybe. What’s wrong with that you know.

N: Have you ever partied with the gang from coronation street at all? D: Do you get many viewers?

N: Well actually the last show and the last radio station we did things for was cancelled so probably nobody will see this. It’s for our own home use, so feel free to expose yourself. What do you think about coronation street, because coronation street is highly rated over here along with Mr. Bean and I was curious, have you ever… G: What about East enders? I like East enders. We’ve had a few drinks with the East enders, haven’t we? D: Don’t like these gritty northern types though.

N: What do you mean? I don’t understand 'northern’? I don’t understand. northern is… D: Everything happens in these places…

N: Northern’s working class, isn’t it? You don’t like the working class?!? D: Northern is the north and southern is the south.

N: Oh, thanks. D: You were confused there. G: You’re very very very very very very very very umm sort of wacky. D: Naive. It doesn’t mean if you’re from the north you’re working class. A lot of the east end of london, lots of london is considered working class. It’s not just a north/south divide, you know.

N: Did alex want to shag Barbara Ellen? G: I don’t think so.

N: You just met her recently, didn’t you? G: Met her once years ago.

N: One other thing too i’d like to confirm here, winding up with Graham and Dave from the band Blur – anything you’d like to say out there, you know shouts out to people in radioland. D: Turn off.

N: What’s on your mind now, what are you thinking? G: Drop in, turn off.

N: That’s pretty american. That’s uh, very leary. Can you give another soundbite, perhaps a Marshall Mcluhan one? G: You’re leering at me.

N: i’m not leering at you, I’m looking at the wall. I’ve never seen that painting before. G: Superb painting. I don’t even have to look.

N: You don’t have to look at it…What’s good about that painting? G: It matches the decor.

N: Now who would you guys like to date – winding up here, the last question, finally, speaking to Graham and Dave of Blur – Who would you like to date…Fergie, Di, Wallace Simpson, or lady Penelope? G: Wallace Simpson? D: As in Edward & Mrs. Simpson. G: None of those people.

N: Well, come on, of those people. Again, who would you like to get with? D: get with?

N: What’s wrong with them? G: Nothing’s wrong with them, they’re just not my cup of tea.

N: Well thank you very much for your time, Graham and Dave, how are ya doin’? D: Okay. G: Is that the end of the interview?

N: It’s all over. I’ve run out of questions. I’m finished with the questions, I’m sorry. Why should people care about Blur? Why should people care about Blur? G: Because we’re honest, down to goodness people. We really are human beings.

N: Alright, well keep on rockin’ in the free world and doot doola doot doot- G: You’ve got the right haircut for that old hippie nonsense, don’t you…

N: doot doola doot doot G: doot doo.

- Nardwuar vs Blur, 1996 (Part 2)

part 1 is here

[thepermanentrainpress]

TRACK BY TRACK FEATURE: SAM TUDOR - “QUOTIDIAN DREAM”

Nearly three years following the release of his last record, Sam Tudor is back with Quotidian Dream.

Tudor was born and raised in Williams Lake, BC; his move to Vancouver in the latter teen years greatly influenced the sounds and synergy behind 2014′s The Modern New Year—contemporary campfire melodies with flickers of trumpet, banjo, and keys. On Quotidian Dream, Tudor struggles less with growing into a new city and more with the immediate space around him.

Experimental folk is layered with elements of new wave (“Quotidian Boy”) to jazz (“Chlorine”). Tudor’s vocals bring a soft-spoken intensity to “Truthful,” with the thumping backbeat and whirring of strings coming to a beautiful, unsettling head at its close. “Joseph in the Bathroom” is a remorseful take on his high school days, while “Holiday” presents a warm, folk rock hook. A little grit and power would carry the tune into Mumford & Sons’ Babel territory—but it is his tender nature and jaded lyricism (“Oh it’s the cost of a frozen place, paying for the colour when it’s all gone grey”) which make the closet anthem. Tudor often sings of disconnect with his surroundings—a vacancy marred by routine and expectation and TV screens. But his compositions reflect the opposite; a discerning self-awareness held by the notion that, even as the flames run out of him, he is able to find them again.

Tudor was kind enough to write us a track-by-track on the release, which you can delve into below.

Words below by Sam Tudor:

1. “New Apartment”

I’ve heard people talk about their apartments as safe sanctuaries and I’ve also heard people talk about them as lonely, even threatening spaces. In my experience, a Vancouver apartment can be both of those things simultaneously. When I first moved to Vancouver I would go home with a combination of urgency and anxiety. It’s a bit cliché, but in the last couple of years I’ve been noticing physical space a lot. Most of the photography and paintings that I like these days document empty spaces – human creations that seem alien. Anyway, that’s what I was thinking about for this song. I think when I wrote it I had a specific moment in my head, that moment when you first move in somewhere and you are alone, and you haven’t unpacked your things yet.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

2. “Quotidian Boy”

Writing and performing songs is cool, but it’s also a pretty weird thing. There’s a lot that I find funny about it. I used to write a lot of incredibly broad metaphors that could mean anything and I look back on that and find it funny. The construction of the ‘suffering artist’ image is pretty funny too and I am definitely guilty of it. My good friend Brodie told me that it’s important to always ‘balance the sacred and profane’ in your life. I’m trying to embrace that as much as I can these days, and I think this song says some things that are important to me while laughing at it all as well. The chorus “I’ve got unlimited strikes but I don’t want to play” sums up how I often feel – lots of opportunity, still feeling the urge to bail.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

3. “Truthful”

At some point in the last couple years I became very frustrated with myself. I was in university, and it seemed like I had become more articulate then ever, but wasn’t sure if I was actually saying or understanding anything important. You can congratulate yourself for being complicated and having lots of layers and nuance, but sometimes all that starts to feel like a weight you don’t need. I tend to overthink things a lot, and I often get stuck in these feedback loops. I got in a pretty bad one at that time, sort of like a ferris wheel you can’t get off. This song is a grasp towards something outside that loop. The chorus originally had much more words but I thought that would miss the point, so I just made it the simplest thing ever. I spend a lot of time on lyrics but this time the vibe was way more important than the words. I wanted to just cut through the bullshit and feel real and that was mostly it.

4. “Brain Stealers”

I think this song is mostly just about feeling creatively empty. When I felt as though I couldn’t write any good songs, I wrote this song instead as a sort of ‘exasperated throwing up of the hands’ type thing. It’s funny that it ended up on the album. It features the return of my trusty organ auto-drum: an old, no-name brand organ with a beat setting that I’ve come to really love. It can’t keep tempo anymore and it currently sits in my childhood home at Gavin Lake Camp. My parents keep trying to throw it away, and every time I visit home I fear it will have disappeared forever. Hang in there, organ. A little longer.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

5. “Joseph In The Bathroom”

This song is the one that is most important to me. My hometown and my experience growing up there take up a significant amount of space in my mind. Strange as it is to admit, I was ‘popular’ in highschool in the sense that I had friends and managed to navigate all the high-school cliques (I think being friends with everyone can sometimes mean you are friends with no-one, but that’s a different write-up). I was a survivalist though; and I avoided those people I might otherwise have been friends with if they weren’t generally deemed unpopular. I regret that I acted that way and I regret that highschool channels people in ways like that. Weirdly, the older I get the more I remember and think about those kids in the corners – the ones who weren’t as lucky as me and weren’t able to navigate highschool in such a way. I still feel guilty and angry about it all today. I think the song is about more than just that, but in a sense it’s an apology song.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

6. “Blue Flower”

This is an unlucky song! This song is cursed! I know a girl who was listening to this song and when the line “as the camper van floats off the road” was sung she literally drove off the road and crashed her car! This is a true story! She’s fine, but I have since become very wary of this song. Drive safely, everyone.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

7. “Chlorine”

Do you know that feeling you get when you stay up really late on social media and your eyes start to feel weird and you are tired but also the computer screen has inhibited all your melatonin so you have insomnia and are also a bit stressed and it’s an uncomfortable dream-like state? For me, that’s part of what Quotidian Dream is. I kind of wanted the album to sound like what that felt like. I think this might be the song that taps into the feeling the best. A big part of this song’s tone is created by the use of the trusty fish guitar. Shaped like a fish, and not a very good guitar, but it has a unique, slightly out of tune tone that I love. So I played that a lot in this song, and we had saxophones and strings and recorded it late at night.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

8. “Clinical Names”

We made so many different versions of this song. I’m not really sure why this is the one that ended up on the record. It could genuinely have been an accident.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

9. “Holiday”

I like pop music and big anthemic choruses, but I also tend to write about sad things. So I always end up with weird songs like this one. My brother Harry played the drumbeat first and we wrote the song around it.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

10. “Silver Lining Skies”

I realize after listening to this record as one entity that a lot of it references being in my room, or being in a room, or being in a house, or something like that. This makes sense, considering how much time I do spend in my room. Most of the album was recorded entirely in my room. At the end of this particular song there is an audio file of me walking up the stairs and opening the door to my room. Or… am I exiting my room? Is this me going out in the world happily or retreating further into my own head? Who knows!? Wow, I am such an artist. I am so deep. Holy fuck. Ho-ly Smokes. In all seriousness, I just thought it was an important way to end the album considering how much I’ve been thinking about insides and outsides.

Quotidian Dream by Sam Tudor

If you’re still here, thanks for reading this! I hope you enjoy the album.

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Much thanks to Sam for giving us further insight into his new album! Quotidian Dream is available for purchase on Bandcamp. He will be playing a free set as part of the Vancouver Fringe Festival on Saturday, Sept. 16 at the Big Rock Brewery Fringe Bar (1531 Johnston St), alongside Rae Spoon. For more on Sam Tudor:

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Posted by: Natalie Hoy