#Quotidian Boy

[olderthannetfic]

Honestly I suspect a lot of the fanfic-filed-off books that get big, even when they are mundane, work because they do involve some degree of "worldbuilding" in the sense of establishing an elaborate setting. Like I haven't read Love Hypothesis, but it's about science grad students right? That likely requires a lot of explanation of how the world of grad school, science research, etc. works since your average reader is not part of that world. That's just another kind of "worldbuilding."

--

Oh yes.

It doesn't need to be fantasy for it to be worldbuilding. If you made your boy band chefs or your space wizards grad students or any sort of person in a particular milieu with its own culture and rules, a good author will establish how this world works.

It's not just literal explanation either. Sometimes, you need to know how the science works, but sometimes, all you need is to understand the general vibe of the lab and the social dynamics of coworkers. It's often more sense of place rather than rules-based worldbuilding.

A lot of people talk about how Gilmore Girls gave them a sense of place that lots of media in real-ish settings doesn't. I never watched, but it looks like an autumn-themed blog on tumblr or something. Even if your "real world" setting works in quotidian ways, there are still things to establish.

The danger is when someone is writing a super generic coffee shop AU, does not establish much about the vibe of the coffee shop, and is also now missing the part where the space wizards wanted to kill each other in canon and that added spice to the otherwise conflictless fic AU because every fic reader knew it.

There's plenty of pro media that operates like a fandom coffee shop AU, but it bothers to establish more, and it has a plot with a conflict. Think Empire Records with its overall plot about saving the record store and its ensemble with the usual grab bag of ensemble character interpersonal problems.

A person can convert fic into original and have it go great. Many people don't end up doing a very good job unless the fic already spent a lot of time establishing original things.

[nunjournal]

The Palestinian People have consistently made it crystal clear that our enemy is the colonialist and racist ideology of Zionism, not Jews. Our capacity to produce such distinction is admirable and impressive, considering the heavy-handedness with which Zionism attempts to synonymize itself with Judaism.

However, this distinction isn’t our responsibility, and personally, it isn’t my priority. A Palestinian’s perceived resentment doesn’t have the backing of a Knesset to codify it into law. Tropes aren’t drones, nor can one convert conspiracy theories into nuclear weapons. We are past the early 1900s. Things are different, power has shifted. Words are not murder.

In the days between the 16 soldiers branding a man’s face with the Star of David and the release of the joint letter, an Israeli soldier killed a disabled teenager near a military checkpoint in Qalqilya; another shot a child in the head in Silwan; a young man previously shot in an Israeli raid of the Balata refugee camp died of his injuries; a sniper shot a Palestinian youth in the head in Beita; a 17-year-old was shot and killed south of Jenin; one more young man succumbed to his wounds following a invasion of the refugee camp; families of Palestinians whose corpses are held by the Occupation authorities marched with empty caskets in Nablus; a soldier killed a man near Hebron, police executed a 14-year-old boy in Sheikh Jarrah to the applause of hundreds of settlers; the police then tear-gassed his family in Beit Hanina; a Palestinian was killed after ramming Israeli soldiers in Beit Sira, killing one; in the north of Jericho, a Palestinian man was killed and a soldier was injured in a gunfire exchange; a soldier shot a man in the head in Tubas, killing him—and this is only the very tip of the iceberg.

Which of these caused a far-reaching debate? None. There was a lot of noise concerning Itamar Ben-Gvir stating that Jewish life is “more important than [Palestinian] freedom” on television, a lot less noise about the carving of the Star of David, and, of course, Mahmoud Abbas received the noisiest reaction of all. (This is true in general, not just in the case of the open letter).

All three of those examples deal with aesthetics. Ben-Gvir’s statements were factual and true: Jewish life is worth more than ours under Israeli rule, but it was his explicit oration that triggered outrage rather than the institutionalized policies that have made his racist remarks the material reality on the ground. Even the physical deformation of a Palestinian’s face was only of note because of what the etching symbolized, not the etching itself—had the soldiers cut inconspicuous lines on his cheek, I doubt it would have garnered any attention at all.

As for Palestinian death, it is quotidian and negligible. If we’re lucky, our martyrs are communicated in sums on the pages of end-of-year reports. “Revisionism” on the other hand, warrants a cacophony of condemnation.

[sardonic-sprite]

Ok ok so @quotidian-oblivion has been (lovingly) pestering me to make something of my/our comment thread on "bane" where we were talking about the whole "Ra's wants tim's babies" thing, and what if that actually happened, so here it is 😂 (tw for referenced rape)

So obviously this could only happen if Cass didn't save Tim from Ra's's half-sister so. Hella angst

Poor Cass is devastated that she was too late to stop it. She blames herself, even tho everyone tells it her its no one's fault but Ra's and his sister. She becomes ridiculously protective of tim in response, even well beyond the time she forgives herself

Dick clings to Tim for an entire day when he finds out, trying not to feel rain on his skin, promising it'll be ok someday, that he's there, he'll do anything he can. He's guilty too, wishing he'd been in better contact, gone with Tim, done anything that could have spared him Dick’s nightmares

Damian’s world has shattered. Grandfather... does not want Damian. As his heir. He wants a previously nonexistent child. DRAKE's child. And he has stooped to the lowest low to get it. The carefully built family around Damian is in mourning for something he doesn't fully understand, and Drake now flinches when Damian, in what was supposed to be a peace offering, calls him "Timothy"

Steph and Tim make up as friends when she comes to support him with the shock of knowing that he has (will have, bc they are NOT leaving it with Ra's) a child now that he was not ready for. She doesn't touch him once while she's there, stays at arm's length, and that, Tim thinks, is what makes the visit feel as comforting as a hug

Jason is horrorstruck and breaks out of the rage/aggression and channels it towards hunting down League assassins bc what the fuck how DARE ra's? Tim was fucking 17 and Jason does not care how powerful this bastard is, he's going the FUCK down because NOBODY messes with Jason's baby brother but Jason himself

Barbara is ranting about how Ra's cant even know the genetics are going to fucking WORK how he wants them to, but breaks off abruptly as Tim's eyes well up, changing to enumerating all the baby things she's ordered and telling the dumb science jokes on the onesies because she NEEDS to see Tim laugh

Alfred LOOKS composed but every night he grips that shotgun real tight and has to remind himself that these kids need him, he can't risk himself for vengeance, what matters is Master Tim and the new little master or miss to be. He asks Tim privately if he'd like to choose a room to be the child's nursery. Tim doesnt know, but that's ok, dear boy, that's ok.

Bruce comes home and instead of the joy of reunion (or well, after it) has to struggle not to cry bc God his poor little boy... Damian was a shock too but at least Bruce and Talia loved each other. At least Bruce fucking consented. At least bruce was a goddamn adult. He doesnt think he will ever be rid of the guilt that Tim only found his way to Ra's by looking for Bruce

And Tim himself...

He can't go underground, at all. He redesigns his costume so that he can only unfasten it with a biometric lock, and doesn't tell anyone where it is except Alfred (medical emergencies). Some days, he can't look the girls in the eyes. Some days, he can't look at them at all, not without memories of things he isn't supposed to have seen or. Or felt. He's kidnapped as Red Robin once and chained to the wall, and he dissociates until someone (Jason this time, and who'd have believed THAT a year ago?) comes to save him. He can't get a good night's sleep anymore, not that he ever could but still

He feels paralyzed. There is no putting this off, no playing for time, nothing. They were able to confirm that Ra's's sister IS pregnant, and he knows damn well it's his, and nature waits for no one. In less than nine months now there's going to be a squalling, breathing, tiny, fragile, entire child, and unless he steps in, Ra's is going to raise it. Which means torturing it into a killer.

Every part of Tim screams NO

So they use those months to plan. How do they get in, how do they get out, WHEN is this supposed to happen because they can't well kidnap the child from the delivery room, the poor thing has to be in some kind of stable health, they need to KNOW these things, and thats when Bruce gets a call

Because Talia is fucking livid. She knows Ra's is an asshole, that's why she got Damian to Bruce, but this was a whole new low, her goddamn AUNT pregnant by her teenage non consenting STEPSON? She can't stop that any more than the others now, but she knows what she CAN stop: another tiny child being twisted and corrupted by this absolute monster. They need a spy, right? Well they got one

So there y'are, Q, the horribly angsty beginnings of this Dad!Tim AU. It doesn’t look pretty right now, but it will slowly get happier bc babies are adorable, dammit.

Edit: Part 2

[weareallwritersinside]

i need help

what are your favourite muslim girl names? and boys too

@aylin-hijabi@quotidian-oblivion@maxhastingsno1hater@that-multi-fandom-hijabi@berryzxx

[nunc2020]

Faire exploser un dispositif, l’exemple de Caravaggio

« Anything I could ever know about Caravaggio derives from what Roberto Longhi had to say about him. Yes, Caravaggio was a great inventor, and thus a great realist. But what did Caravaggio invent? In answering this rhetorical question, I cannot help but stick to Longhi’s example. First, Caravaggio invented a new world that, to invoke the language of cinematography, one might call profilmic. By this I mean everything that appears in front of the camera. Caravaggio invented an entire world to place in front of his studio’s easel: new kinds of people (in both a social and characterological sense), new kinds of objects, and new kinds of landscapes. Second: Caravaggio invented a new kind of light. He replaced the universal, platonic light of the Renaissance with a quotidian and dramatic one. Caravaggio invented both this new kind of light and new kinds of people and things because he had seen them in reality. He realized that there were individuals around him who had never appeared in the great altarpieces and frescoes, individuals who had been marginalized by the cultural ideology of the previous two centuries. And there were hours of the day—transient, yet unequivocal in their lighting—which had never been reproduced, and which were pushed so far from habit and use that they had become scandalous, and therefore repressed. So repressed, in fact, that painters (and people in general) probably didn’t see them at all until Caravaggio.

The third thing that Caravaggio invented is a membrane that separates both him (the author) and us (the audience) from his characters, still lifes, and landscapes. This membrane, too, is made of light, but of an artificial light proper solely to painting, not to reality—a membrane that transposes the things that Caravaggio painted into a separate universe. In a certain sense, that universe is dead, at least compared to the life and realism with which the things were perceived and painted in the first place, a process brilliantly accounted for by Longhi’s hypothesis that Caravaggio painted while looking at his figures reflected in a mirror. Such were the figures that he had chosen according to a certain realism: neglected errand boys at the greengrocer’s, common women entirely overlooked, et cetera. Though immersed in that realistic light, the light of a specific hour with all its sun and all its shadow, everything in the mirror appears suspended, as if by an excess of truth, of the empirical. Everything appears dead. »

[chemical-processes]

Not-Yet-Written Fic Game

Was tagged by @byrambles (thank you for tagging me!) To post about some of the fics I plan on writing in the near (ish) future

The second sequel to Broken Roots (Title pending)

to pick up with the aftermath of Twisted Tongue. Bit of a transition fic with Tim healing from the GSW and Damian still pissed about Talia. Set before Dick takes the boys back to Gotham.

Apollo

A Duke Thomas & Harvey Dent casefic (also slight au) Duke's meta ability is a more focused future-sight.

Last Will and Testament

Justice League fic featuring Bruce dying on an alien planet and Hal Jordan being a reluctant diplomat. Dick as Robin for maximum angst. Ironing out the kinks with this one but I'm excited for it.

No Man's Land AU (Title pending)

The events of No Man's Land coupled with a no-capes AU (apocolypse fic. if i could get away with zombies i'd stick them in there). Been poking at the idea for a while now but the ~vibes~ are coalescing so maybe I'll finally get around to writing it

Dream

Post-DitF Bruce gets himself injured and is bedridden. A rogue nightmare decides to haunt him by taking the form of robin and blurring the line between dreaming and sleeping, trapping Bruce inside his own head with his memory of Jason. Of course Morpheus shows up to save the day.

I will tag @galaxythreads @motleyfam @quotidian-oblivion @salparadiselost and @miles2g0 no pressure to play :)

[justmybookthots]

Legendborn

Um??????????

I put this book off for so long because a) I heard the next book in the series only comes out in 2025 and I didn't want to be left hanging, and b) I wasn't the biggest fan when I heard there was a (sigh) love triangle in there. And yet here I am, having finished it at long last.

Confession: I was/am in the middle of something like a reading slump. February has not been kind to me with my reads. When the Ann Liang book I was anticipating for months let me down horrifically, ALL the books that followed either fell flat too or were just… middling. I went through book after book feeling empty, and then I told myself: you know what. Legendborn has been on EVERYONE and their mother's radar, and their responses are the same—near unanimous acclaim. It's honestly quite insane.

So I took a gamble. I got the book and started reading it. 

You can TELL. You can just TELL when a book hits right for you, unlike the ones I read before it. I was hooked. Engaged. Totally captivated. I'd read and DNFed another fantasy book just weeks ago, which also utilised King Arthur lore (titled Silver in the Bone), but somehow Legendborn succeeded where that story failed (for me). Maybe I'm just a basic bitch who's a sucker for the typical storyline of a normal girl finding herself entangled with a group of monster slayers and doing tournaments to become one of them. (Is this why… I was instantly enthralled with the Infernal Devices??? Or why I love Demon Slayer—the anime—so much????? I am finding out new things about myself.)

But sure… the beginning isn't anything too different from traditional YA structures. But as you get going, and you continue down the road, you start to see new grounds being tread, and it deviates from anything I've personally read as a teen.

As usual, even though I loved this book, I'm going to do what I almost always do and explore the dichotomy of what I liked and didn't.

Spoilers abound. 

Didn't like:

It was predictable… up to a point (and then I was GOBSMACKED but we'll get to that later). Like, I knew pretty quickly which characters were going to make it to Squires and which weren't. You could just tell from how the author treated certain Pages (the folks trying to be Squires) in a more favourable light. The nice ones win, the not-nice ones don't. I'd have liked more nuance in their characterisation, TBH.

Speaking of which, however, Bree's characterisation at the start was rough. Like, she'd do stupid shit and get in trouble and continue being irresponsible. I wasn't surprised Alice was mad at her, and I don't think that the trouble she faced stemmed solely from her race but rather her irresponsible behaviour (going off-campus when she already knows that's grounds for expulsion and she STILL gets mad when the dean, who decides to let her off, is churlish with her. Seriously?). That said, I am NOT Black, and I can't speak for the quotidian prejudices they face, so take my perception of it with a grain of salt. In any case, Bree changed and this was no longer an issue for me later on.

Nick. And his whole romance with Bree. Like, I really did NOT care. And Nick was pretty much a white boy-damsel in distress the entire story. Every time screen time was devoted to their romance, my eyes would glaze over and I'd start skimming all the kissing and stuff. 

There were a lot of characters. Like, a lot. Too many. My brain was scrambling trying to remember and place everyone in their different roles. And aside from a few (bless William), they didn't have very distinct voices. Greer had, like, ZERO distinctive voice other than being non-binary, which should not be the only thing to define a character. Whitty was… nice, is all? Everyone kinda just melded in my brain, which is probably why none of the character deaths really hit me. 

I'm not a huge fan of Chosen One tropes. But this does play on the trope in a VERY interesting way. 

WHAT I LIKED (!!!!!!!!!!!):

The whole concept of Root and Bloodcraft. I LOVED how the author used magic to convey the colonisation of white men. The idea that Legendborns forcefully TAKE their power, while non-Bloodcraft users only borrow their power, speaks volumes to me. It was such a good way to portray real life.

Also??? The ending twist about Bree????? All along, I was convinced she was secretly the Scion of Lancelot, but I wasn't sure HOW, because all the knights are obviously white. And then the author pulls a fast one on me and she's actually fucking Arthur. The reasoning is so good. I loved how the White Man's own cruelty and their disgusting ownership of Black people led them to this predicament. I think THIS was the part that truly sold me on how terrific and unique this book was.

Characters-wise… William. Like, I adore the fuck out of him. In another world, in an even less conventional book, William would have been the hero for me. He's exactly my type with how calm and confident he was without needing to be overbearing about it. In fact, he was so gentle. (Makes me think of Jem Carstairs, but obviously Jem is THE published blueprint for types like this.)

Sel. Yes, I know I just talked about how I didn't like overbearing characters, and I initially went into this book expecting to hate him, but… :) I thought he was quite justified in his hatred / distrust towards Bree at first, knowing what he knew about how the mesmer and Oaths didn't take. I'll see if my opinion of him changes in the sequel. 

I  really, really liked how for once, King Arthur wasn't depicted as just some hero. He actually seemed almost villainous in this book, especially in the moments when Bree was possessed by him. What happened to her supposedly getting wisdom when she Awakened, though? This man does not sound wise at all. I am intrigued.

I am so glad I read this book. SO GLAD. I was down in the dumps for a bit and finally reading a good fantasy made me feel a thousand times better. I'm a bit nervous reading the sequel because some things often don't live up to their predecessor, so I shall see.

- 28 Feb 2024

[grendelsmilf]

Do you think the reason people inflate bubblegum’s nefariousness has anything to do with her not returning Finn’s feelings. Obviously she’s a much more morally complex character than one might initially expect out of a candy princess in a kids cartoon which confuses people but I feel like some people act like they personally have a vendetta against her and it wouldn’t surprise me if the reason behind said vitriol is kind of stupid

I mean yeah it’s definitely motivated by misogyny but idk if it’s bc she doesn’t return finn’s feelings per se? I think ppl (erroneously) assume that pb was aware of the depth of his feelings for her (she obv wasn’t, and part of that is just her arrogant presumption that he’s some kind of lower level life form, but she does also just love him like a kid brother in a very genuine way and obliviously assumes that his crush is nothing more than naive admiration, which to be fair it mostly is) and so they conclude that she was willfully stringing him along to manipulate him. which doesn’t make any sense unless you draw a lot of bad faith conclusions about why pb sends finn on quests and the like (no she doesn’t need a knight she’s providing supervised enrichment in his enclosure like cmon) so thru this framework pb becomes an actively malicious force in finn’s life who cruelly and callously uses him only for her own ends. but that obviously isn’t true, and again, it stems from the very misogynistic assumption that pb only exists in proximity to finn and does not have any kind of dimensionality beyond how her character functions to service his. which is made even more ridiculous by the fact that she’s an immortal being who is the most brilliant scientist and powerful ruler of their entire world and her lifetime and cumulative achievements so vastly eclipses the relatively mundane quotidian lifetime of one young, mortal boy. she is hugely significant to finn and probably the most complicated figure in his life due to all her many layers which he must attempt to peel back to truly understand her, but to pb finn is just one of her subjects who is slightly smarter and more independent than one of her candy people. obv pb is largely informed by finn’s pov due to his role as our proxy and primary narrator, but the point of her character is that she is also so much more than what she means to finn, and it’s incredibly uncharitable, reductive, and just plain stupid to ignore that to promote a narrative that vilifies her when her character is truly so rich and complex and fascinating.

[daisyachain]

HXH vol 1-3 notes

Every line is snapped to a curve. Every shape is filled to the brim with whatever hatching or ink it’s meant to have. The tightest manga you’ll ever see. And then the lizard is so beautifully watercoloured that you can feel the scales

The hand-drawn backgrounds make it apparent how much of backgrounds in current manga are 3D modelled/photo edits. This is not a bad thing for modern manga. I like to see a beautiful quotidian setting that a poor overworked assistant did not die to produce. It’s also so so cute to have the simple cartoony bushes

Gon is (: a treat to have for a main character. He’s so interesting! A little boy who is not all there

First time around HXH I loved it and it stuck in my brain but only Kurapika, and I was still so hung up on Yorknew that I didn’t really register or understand the rest of it. Downsides to HXH basically being 2 totally separate arcs quilted together (they did say it had a JJBA influence…)

Poor Aunt Mito. More evidence that Gon is a little…

I had 100% forgotten Kite got introduced here

Leorio is 19????? This makes sense…

Different stories exist on different planes of reality and disbelief. HxH exists on the single top plane of disbelief. The tone and content are impossible to reconcile so you just have to let go of any kind of expectation and be free!

The Hunter Exam arc lasts longer than expected

How on earrrtth can they run that far. That is 2 marathons. And then summer camp starts (see aforementioned disbelief)

Body count is Mad High (see aforementioned disbelief). People just keep dying!

This may be my chance to separate Hisoka entirely from anime/Heaven’s Arena ver. and see why he’s my sister’s favourite

The ♦️unique speech bubbles ♣️ are certainly ♠️ a charm point ♥️

Imagining voices to go with the characters is a challenge. They are all so big-eyed and squeaky in my head. At the same time I remember being 12 and what the 12-year-olds in my class sounded like

My youthful Kurapika obsession hasn’t faded. Sorry mutuals. He’s well-spoken.

Culinary challenge minigame is a bit weak

Midnight game is v fun. Bonding time.

HxH is the most video game a thing can get without being a video game. The blobby shapes. The simple backgrounds. The vivid green of a Pokémon or BotW. The levelling up. I don’t know enough about games to be sure but I want to say that it consciously steals Pokémon’s look

The hunt is on!! Great tension in Gon’s pursuit. I was waiting with bated breath

‘197’ <- I did chuckle

Leorio is the failed main character who never actually gets an arc, but the role he plays is to bring everyone else together. He can’t do it himself. We have to help him together. He needs to stick around or else they’d all shake hands and never again see each other. He is a babysitter not much older than a baby himself

Gon and Kurapika’s bond is so sweet! Underrated axis of character relations. Kurapika always has an answer to Gon’s questions (even if it’s wrong) while Gon opens a whole new world of problem-solving for a vengeance-fixated teen. They care about each other very much, even if it’s just because Gon cares about everyone and even if Kurapika isn’t going to let it go beyond casual cooperation

Hiss-o-ka. Feel sorry for the guy who was just trying to get his license (see aforementioned disbelief)

I don’t know what roles Illumi and Hisoka play with respect to one another and at this point I’m not going to ask. Drinking buddies.

Killua time! Eat your heart out, everyone else

Leorio almost solved his puzzle in a remarkably clever way. Rip.

HxH has a world you should never think about for more than 5 seconds

Off to be final…

Another remarkable blast of tonal dissonance. Yay! Hanzo broke his arm for the greater good (?). The creepiness of the situation does heighten Gon’s wrongness so it works

Killua and Gon’s relationship is the bedrock of the story. I do not remember it being so explicitly stated or so early

‘There has to be something you want in the world that is strong enough that you will break away from us’ well.

Zoldyk arc! A classic. Silva is despicable. I feel like this one went a little better in the animation with the dark colouring and the saturated hues.

Killua breaking out of the dungeon is the scene in so many ways. He can leave, he just needs a reason

Gon HxH and Oz PH have some similarities and Gon HxH and Alice PH have some similarities

Alluka already exists. Illumi- Milluki - Killua - [REDACTED] - Kalluto

Most of what I am feeling during the read is sad for Killua

There’s a bit of a balance of power between narrator characters and main/protagonist/active characters. Narrators are aware of the consequences of the protagonist’s actions as well as where they fit into an overarching narrative, narrators can rationalize and contextualize the seemingly random events around them. Because Gon doesn’t understand any of this, he needs a narrator (Kurapika or Killua). Killua is doomed to be aware of what Gon is doing to him and what is happening to Gon. He can’t tell him, he can’t escape it, he doesn’t want to, his role is to Observe and Know the way his entire self is being warped, and he legally can’t do anything about it because he is not the protagonist

Off to Heaven’s Arena…

[rockislandadultreads]

Book Recommendations: Wayward Women in Literature

Bunny by Mona Awad

Samantha Heather Mackey couldn't be more of an outsider in her small, highly selective MFA program at New England's Warren University. A scholarship student who prefers the company of her dark imagination to that of most people, she is utterly repelled by the rest of her fiction writing cohort--a clique of unbearably twee rich girls who call each other "Bunny," and seem to move and speak as one.

But everything changes when Samantha receives an invitation to the Bunnies' fabled "Smut Salon," and finds herself inexplicably drawn to their front door--ditching her only friend, Ava, in the process. As Samantha plunges deeper and deeper into the Bunnies' sinister yet saccharine world, beginning to take part in the ritualistic off-campus "Workshop" where they conjure their monstrous creations, the edges of reality begin to blur. Soon, her friendships with Ava and the Bunnies will be brought into deadly collision.

My Sister, The Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite

When Korede's dinner is interrupted one night by a distress call from her sister, Ayoola, she knows what's expected of her: bleach, rubber gloves, nerves of steel and a strong stomach. This'll be the third boyfriend Ayoola's dispatched in, quote, self-defence and the third mess that her lethal little sibling has left Korede to clear away. She should probably go to the police for the good of the menfolk of Nigeria, but she loves her sister and, as they say, family always comes first. Until, that is, Ayoola starts dating the doctor where Korede works as a nurse. Korede's long been in love with him, and isn't prepared to see him wind up with a knife in his back: but to save one would mean sacrificing the other...

Happy Hour by Marlowe Granados

Refreshing and wry in equal measure, Happy Hour is an intoxicating novel of youth well spent. Isa Epley is all of twenty-one years old, and already wise enough to understand that the purpose of life is the pursuit of pleasure. After a sojourn across the pond, she arrives in New York City for a summer of adventure with her best friend, one newly blond Gala Novak. They have little money, but that’s hardly going to stop them from having a good time.

In her diary, Isa describes a sweltering summer in the glittering city. By day, the girls sell clothes in a market stall, pinching pennies for their Bed-Stuy sublet and bodega lunches. By night, they weave from Brooklyn to the Upper East Side to the Hamptons among a rotating cast of celebrities, artists, Internet entrepreneurs, stuffy intellectuals, and bad-mannered grifters. Money runs ever tighter and the strain tests their friendship as they try to convert their social capital into something more lasting than their precarious gigs as au pairs, nightclub hostesses, paid audience members, and aspiring foot fetish models. Through it all, Isa’s bold, beguiling voice captures the precise thrill of cultivating a life of glamour and intrigue as she juggles paying her dues with skipping out on the bill.

Eileen by Ottessa Moshfegh

The Christmas season offers little cheer for Eileen Dunlop, an unassuming yet disturbed young woman trapped between her role as her alcoholic father’s caretaker in a home whose squalor is the talk of the neighborhood and a day job as a secretary at the boys’ prison, filled with its own quotidian horrors. Consumed by resentment and self-loathing, Eileen tempers her dreary days with perverse fantasies and dreams of escaping to the big city. In the meantime, she fills her nights and weekends with shoplifting, stalking a buff prison guard named Randy, and cleaning up her increasingly deranged father’s messes. When the bright, beautiful, and cheery Rebecca Saint John arrives on the scene as the new counselor at Moorehead, Eileen is enchanted and proves unable to resist what appears at first to be a miraculously budding friendship. In a Hitchcockian twist, her affection for Rebecca ultimately pulls her into complicity in a crime that surpasses her wildest imaginings.

[mywifeleftme]

274: Nap Eyes // Whine of the Mystic

Whine of the Mystic Nap Eyes 2014, Plastic Factory (Bandcamp)

Can’t speak to the sound on the original 2014 pressing of this guy from Plastic Factory Records, but the 2015 Paradise of Bachelors/You’ve Changed edition sounds pretty revelatory to me—kudos to the folks at the plant, and to Mike Wright and Peter Woodford for the mixing and mastering. Talk about Nap Eyes tends to quickly descend into the Nigel Chapman show—the vocalist’s laconic cadences and ambling lyricism offer plenty of grist for a critic to chew on, but here on the LP the rhythm section is mixed loud and way up front so that the insistent throb of Josh Salter’s bass becomes as difficult to ignore as the pounding of your own pulse in your ears when you’ve run too hard. Whine of the Mystic was recorded at Drones Club in Montreal back in 2013, which is basically just a none-too-large loft apartment in my current neighbourhood where they do raves sometimes, and the record sounds just like listening to the boys play while wearing good custom-fitted ear plugs. That rawness does a band who can flirt with a nutritious beigeness a lot of good—the guitars singe and flare, the amps sizzle, and the feeling of this band as a slack psych live force comes through.

I’ve been a huge fan of Nap Eyes since I caught them in Ottawa back in 2014, and people generally dig them when I recommend the record (with the exception of my pal Meghan, who despises them with the grumpy exhaustion that comes of seeing a band you don’t like constantly opening for bands you do). As such, Whine of the Mystic has been with me through a lot—the best songs (like “Dark Creedence,” and the last four) make a shimmering soundtrack to existential hangovers; walking toward some workaday Calvary in the rain; handrolling cigarettes badly; pining for girls if only to keep in practice; not getting a master’s; being 27 as hell for many years. It’s full of little touches that still delight me, like when they kinda morph into the Proclaimers for a bridge on “The Night of the First Show,” or the way the raincloud pacing of “Dreaming Solo” finally cracks open into the most amiable outro jam imaginable.

Giving your record a punny name is a risky choice, and as a phrase Whine of the Mystic skirts the edge of dorkiness. But in the end, I come down on it as an apt synopsis of the album’s charms. Chapman’s plaints linger on the humdrum, yet they paint the experience as intoxicating, Halifax as the backdrop for an ancient mystery cycle that repeats itself wherever life’s taking place. It brings to mind an exchange from Louis Malle’s The Fire Within, a superficially dull but emotionally feverish movie I haven’t thought of in ten years. The main character, a suicidal alcoholic who feels drained by what he perceives as the world’s absence of meaning, talks to an old friend, who has settled into a steady life as an academic and a husband. I don’t remember much of what they talk about, besides this:

Alain Leroy: Dubourg, what will you do tonight? Dubourg: Tonight, I'll write a few pages on my Egyptians, then make love to Fanny. I fall into her silence as into a well. At the bottom is a great sun that warms the earth.

All life is quotidian, but the primal and transcendent lies within that quotidian life, if you can truly immerse yourself within your own. Good luck.

274/365

[thedragonagelesbian]

Before even getting into the conversation with Bhelen, I wanted to highlight this line from Vartag after you complete the first task: “It’s touching to see how strong your love is for your brother.” This one sentence encapsulates so much of what is insidious and heart-wrenching about going back to Orzammar. Whether Dru still loves her brother or not, it is enough to mock her for having once loved him and for whatever lingering sentimentality has compelled them to be his errand boy just for the chance of talking to him again.

(Because why else would she do it? Dwarven politics is at once so impersonal and indifferent and oh so intimate and violent, so Vartag doubts that Dru could be helping Bhelen out for any other reason than their familial bonds.)

Bhelen: Well, who would have imagined... My big sibling, back from the dead, and calling herself a Grey Warden.

Dru walked back into her family home for the first time in months, and Bhelen immediately grabbed the knife he had left in her back and twisted it in deeper. I’ve already made two posts about the dissonance that Dru is experiencing between her new identity as a Warden and her old identity as Princeps Aeducan, and that was before Bhelen threw that dissonance in their fucking face.

Maybe he’s right. Maybe Dru is just calling themself a Warden. Maybe it’s all play-acting, just like when they were the princeps.

Dru: Why did you do it, Bhelen? What did I ever do to you?

Bhelen: You’d have acted against me in a heartbeat if I hadn’t done it first. The same way you turned everyone in the Assembly against Trian. The same way our father--may the ancestors bless him--convinced his elder brother to enter a Proving against a convicted murderer. Who do you think gave the murderer the poison to put on his blade?

Dru: You’re wrong. I never plotted against you or Trian.

Low blow number fucking two. If Dru wasn’t on their back foot and desperate given how Bhelen opened the conversation, they are now. As much as the bloodlust of Orzammar politics has always seemed quotidian to them, they didn’t know that particular unsavory detail about their father killing his brother.

They’ve also just spent a couple of hours running around the Diamond Quarter and the Commons hearing all about how Bhelen is different and wants to do dwarven politics differently, why can’t he be different about this too? Why, indeed, didn’t he consider that Dru would be different about it too-- would be eager to set aside the conspiracy and subterfuge and death otherwise inherent in their politics?

Bhelen: You should thank me then.

But no. Bhelen’s desire to reform stops short of his ambition and power lust, and then he has the audacity to tell Dru she should thank him. For exiling her!!!

Bhelen: [pontificating about how a king needs to be ruthless] Neither you nor Harrowmont is that king.

The most aching thing is: he’s right!!! And, beyond the scope of his own bloodthirst, he’s right more generally: he is a progressive, radical, and decisive leader that neither Harrowmont nor Dru ever would be.

Dru knows he’s right. They never wanted to be the monarch of Orzammar, and in the months since their exiled, they’ve certainly rationalized to themself that Bhelen would probably do the best job of their siblings despite the means by which he took that job.

It’s not that he’s wrong. It’s that the one thing Dru wants so desperately to hear from her brother is something approximating an apology: some feeble acknowledgement of those means and their cost and the pain they caused her even if she’s happier for it.

As the player, I wanted to go with a dialogue option that expressed that agreement. I was hoping for something a bit more direct (along the lines of “Well, at least that’s something we can agree on”). What I picked was:

Dru: I guess I can’t blame you for playing a wining hand.

I’m sure there are some Wardens for whom this is an expression of a genuine admiration for Bhelen’s guile. It is immensely fucking hollow for Dru. They have spent the whole damn game telling themself this: that they don’t really blame Bhelen for what he did, not because they would do the same thing in his place, but because it gave her the life she always wanted for herself.

And when she had to confront Trian in the Temple of Sacred Ashes, she also had to confront for the first time that that wasn’t true.

When she says this, she’s trying to prompt Bhelen to disagree with her. At this point, she’s given up on an apology! But some inkling of remorse, some faint recognition of their suffering, even just a recognition of them! Just s o m e t h i n g from the brother they lived and grew up alongside.

And how does Bhelen respond?

Bhelen: And I guess you’ve finally learned something about politics.

When I tell you that I, the player, almost started crying! It’s so cruel and so unfair I want to scream into a pillow about it!!! Dru never asked for any of this! They didn’t want the burden of royal responsibility, and they certainly didn’t want the cutthroat death sentence it came with. She spends the first half of this entire conversation trying to connect with Bhelen and meet him on some common familial grounds, and he mocks and disdains her throughout for those very efforts.

It breaks my fucking heart, and that’s before the younger sibling smugness of it all makes me want to punch his fucking teeth in. I’m not gonna type up the rest of the convo, but I wanted to highlight two more moments because they pile onto the slimy awful insidiousness of this whole reunion.

The first is:

Dru: I thought you were such a strong ruler, Bhelen.

Bhelen: I can hold my throne, thank you. But I cannot hold it and send the troops you need. Or do you take back that request? ... I didn’t think so.

And the second is:

Dru: Just point me at [Jarvia] and your trouble’s over

Bhelen: Your eagerness is charming.

I--------- /muffled incoherent screeching/ THE FUCKING CONDESCENSION OF IT ALL Bhelen knows he has what Dru wants as much as he knows that they’re not going to go to Harrowmont for help, so he can dangle his help over her fucking head.

It’s just such a different tone than what you get with the other treaty quests. In both the Circle and the Brecilian Forest, your interactions are more... mutual? The mages and the Dalish will not help you until you help them, but they’re fighting for survival. Bhelen tells you point blank: I do not need your help, but you need mine, and I’m going to be such a smarmy DICK ABOUT IT.

He spends the entire conversation talking down to Dru, and it leaves her desperate and unmoored and angry, and they go get shitfaced in Tapster’s before going to Dust Town.

[readerbookclub]

Morally Grey - August Book List

Hello everyone! I’m very excited to be back with the first book list in a loooong time. Looking forward to reading with you again :)

The characters on this list aren’t perfect--they might not even be good. These stories are all about people who are flawed and make morally questionable choices. 

As always, please vote for which one we should read next. The link is at the bottom of this post. 

The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, by Muriel Sparks

At the staid Marcia Blaine School for Girls in Edinburgh, Scotland, teacher extraordinaire Miss Jean Brodie is unmistakably, and outspokenly, in her prime. She is passionate in the application of her unorthodox teaching methods and strives to bring out the best in each one of her students. Determined to instill in them independence, passion, and ambition, Miss Brodie advises them, "Safety does not come first. Goodness, Truth, and Beauty come first. Follow me." And they do--but one of them will betray her.

Eileen, by Otessa Moshfegh

The Christmas season offers little cheer for Eileen Dunlop, an unassuming yet disturbed young woman trapped between her role as her alcoholic father’s caretaker in a home whose squalor is the talk of the neighborhood and a day job as a secretary at the boys prison, filled with its own quotidian horrors. Consumed by resentment and self-loathing, Eileen tempers her dreary days with perverse fantasies and dreams of escaping to the big city. In the meantime, she fills her nights and weekends with shoplifting, stalking a buff prison guard named Randy, and cleaning up her increasingly deranged father’s messes. When the bright, beautiful, and cheery Rebecca Saint John arrives on the scene as the new counselor at the prison, Eileen is enchanted and proves unable to resist what appears at first to be a miraculously budding friendship. But her affection for Rebecca ultimately pulls her into complicity in a crime that surpasses her wildest imaginings.

Bel-Ami, by Guy de Maupassant

Young, attractive and very ambitious, George Duroy, known to his friends as Bel-Ami, is offered a job as a journalist on La Vie francaise and soon makes a great success of his new career. But he also comes face to face with the realities of the corrupt society in which he lives - the sleazy colleagues, the manipulative mistresses and wily financiers - and swiftly learns to become an arch-seducer, blackmailer and social climber in a world where love is only a means to an end. Written when Maupassant was at the height of his powers, Bel-Ami is a novel of great frankness and cynicism, but it is also infused with the sheer joy of life - depicting the scenes and characters of Paris in the belle epoque with wit, sensitivity and humanity.

The Secret History, by Donna Tart

Under the influence of their charismatic classics professor, a group of clever, eccentric misfits at an elite New England college discover a way of thinking and living that is a world away from the humdrum existence of their contemporaries. But when they go beyond the boundaries of normal morality they slip gradually from obsession to corruption and betrayal, and at last—inexorably—into evil.

Stay with Me, by  Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀

Yejide and Akin have been married since they met and fell in love at university. Though many expected Akin to take several wives, he and Yejide have always agreed: polygamy is not for them. But four years into their marriage--after consulting fertility doctors and healers, trying strange teas and unlikely cures--Yejide is still not pregnant. She assumes she still has time--until her family arrives on her doorstep with a young woman they introduce as Akin's second wife. Furious, shocked, and livid with jealousy, Yejide knows the only way to save her marriage is to get pregnant, which, finally, she does--but at a cost far greater than she could have dared to imagine. An electrifying novel of enormous emotional power, Stay With Me asks how much we can sacrifice for the sake of family.

Vote here for which book we should read :)

[pumpkincanoes]

Xiao Sickfic

Inspiration: An excerpt from Welcome to Nightvale Episode 8 Setting: Modern AU, Martial artist & performer Xiao, down with a cold.

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“A life of pain is the pain of life, and you can never escape it – only hope it hides, unknown, in a drawer like a poisonous spider and never comes out again, even though it probably will, in unexpected and horrific fashion, scaring you from being able to comfortably conduct even the most mundane, quotidian tasks.”

…Was that how that saying went? He vaguely remembers it to be more cheerful than that, but he supposes it's just the right amount of nihilistic comfort he needs right about now.

As someone who relies on his fitness to do his job, it’s extremely embarrassing of Xiao to be running a 40 degree fever. At first he’d dismissed it as the summer heat, but when he woke up in cold sweat hours before dawn, he was struck with the realization that his body is not as young as it once was.

So Xiao, like any other responsible adult his age, takes time off work; the announcement of which has left both Fushe and Minu making a fuss, while Fanan and Zhongli gives him sympathetic messages, telling him to rest. Xiao also, like any responsible adult his age, spends the better half of that morning brooding over his slow recovery, trying to acknowledge that this is his life now: the youthful vigor he once had felt like it was lightyears away. His nights spent at the gymnasium recklessly ignoring his injury with no repercussions gradually replaced by a few quick demonstrations to his pupils before he has to clock out. He supposes that’s just how it is with performers. Time will get to them eventually, and instead of performing for an audience, he will shift his focus to perform for students, to teach them what they can do with their given time as he’s done with his.

He’s getting ahead of himself, he realizes, and stops before he starts to sound like Zhongli whenever he talks about retirement. He glances at the phone on his nightstand. A few messages in his work group chat, a private message from Minu saying he’s sorry for teasing, and that he hopes Xiao recovers soon… And a string of messages from Aether.

There’s one person who hasn’t lost their youthful vigor, at least. A trendsetter, he could say, a brilliant man who doesn’t let the label of middle-age stop him from climbing a tree in a park to help a child with a stuck balloon. A silly man, as well, who feels the need to make himself look cool in front of little boys, breaking said tree branch trying to do a backflip. He opens the string of messages:

09:23 Good morning :)

09:55 I made some waffles for breakfast. would you like some?

09:55 [Picture Attached]

10:03 I heard from Zhongli that you’re sick? Are you okay? :(

10:42 I got some supplies at the store. Coming over 🏃‍♂️

The last message snaps him out of his daze. He checks the time again, 11:09 and Aether only lives a few minutes—

ding—dong—

Xiao curses under his breath as his heartrate seem to raise tenfold. His small apartment, disheveled appearance and messy bed wasn’t an issue just minutes ago, and now it feels like a source of boundless shame. He walks over to the entrance and unlocked the door.

“10,000 mora says you haven’t had breakfast.”

He sighs, admitting that Aether will forever be unpredictable— and that maybe, just maybe, he likes him that way.

“…You know me so well.”

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By the time Xiao got out of his shower, the smell of chicken porridge had spread throughout the room. A small foldable table has been set up beside his tidied bedding, and on one side he can see Aether sat down with a seat pillow on his lap, phone on hand. He noticed the couple of glances Aether stole when he stepped out of the shower (fully clothed, mind you) but decided to not point it out as he sat down on the opposite side of the table.

“Thank you.” He said simply; any attempts at refusal was passionately denied prior to the cooking, and Xiao actually fears for his life if h tried to argue further.

“You’re welcome.” Aether smiled, and put up his legs so he can rest both his hands on his knee, tilting his head to rest against it as well. They spent the few minutes in silence, Xiao trying like never before to ignore Aether’s insistence to observe his every move. After eating maybe half of his breakfast like this, Aether spoke up.

“I’ve never seen you catch a cold.”

“…I don’t usually get sick.”, he says, and adds,

“Neither do you, no?”

“Nonsense. I get colds all the time. And muscle pain and headaches— I get all sorts of sick.”

“…Have you just been hiding it well, then?”

“Hmm, I guess I just don’t want you to see me when I’m weak. Afraid you’ll think less of me when I stop being cheerful, or something.”

“Do you think less of me, now that you see me not in my best shape?”

“Of course not, but—”

“It is the same for me.”

Aether made a pout, and Xiao almost wanted to tease him for it, but settled for a light chuckle. “That’s different!”

“I don’t think it is.” He says, and pauses to get another spoonful of his food.

“If you spend enough time with someone you will get to know all of their sides— Trying to hide one aspect of yourself in order to stay with them is illogical.”

Aether’s pout lightened into a sort of smug frown, and Xiao can only imagine what he’s going to argue with now.

“Is that your way of saying you want to spend more time with me?”

…It sees like his fever is dampening his thoughts filter quite significantly, he muses, and internally swears not to slip up again.

”No, I merely—”

“You want to spend so much time together that we’ll get to know everything there is to know about each other— Hence it’s ‘illogical’ for me to hide anything, because you’ll find out eventually anyway!” He states the truth he’s figured out with a shine reminiscent to a child who’s found the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle. Xiao wants nothing more than to chuck that piece out of the window before Aether completes the whole picture.

”You are delusional.” Xiao deadpans, and hopes that the heat in his face does not reflect to any change in appearance or expression.

“I’m right, that’s what I am.” Aether’s expression is full of pride and Xiao can only handle so much of his teasing before he risks getting banned from his job for using violence outside of the stage.

He exhales a tired breath, explaining himself: “I only say that because I will stay with you no matter your weaknesses.”

Shifting his gaze to Aether, his tone firm and scolding as he continued “I think pain is part of being human. Sickness is part of being older… But if you could share your pain with me then it would be more bearable… As you have helped make my pain bearable, as well.”

A beat of silence.

“Xiao…”

Only when he noticed Aether’s blush and lack of response does he realize that—

“You do know that that’s even worse than what I said, right?”

He closes his eyes, hands massaging his brows as he cringes at his own words. He feels his headache coming back. A sick man should not experience this much stimulation.

“Quiet…” He mumbles, and Aether raises his hand to cover his mouth, in what is an attempt to cover his wide smile, but Xiao only took as a sign of ridicule.

“Hehe, I’ll be in your care the next time I get sick then, dearest Xiao.”

He sighs again, submitting to his fate to be with the blond man sitting opposite himself. The man with ridiculously good cooking and a taste for harmless teasing that Xiao tells himself he only barely tolerates. The man who has seemingly put a delay on his mid-life crisis with a bowl of chicken porridge and a clean bed— Aether, who he does indeed, want to be with, as much as their time will allow.

“As am I in yours, I suppose.”

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[saintehigh]

persuading kline to play words w/ friends as a way to help him learn new words when in reality i just want easy wins Only it actually does end up helping him learn ..

first match he starts off with words like Hey and Dog. ok. simple, i just pull out a few toquets and weevilys on the TL squares and boom. easy 200+ point win. then we reach our 16th match like??? boy what the fuck is a quotidian Stop that

[sportygothic]

watched in feb

who's afraid of virginia woolf? - watched bc taylor dropped the tortured poet's department tracklist & swifties said "who's afraid of little old me?" could be a reference. Telling that i instinctively sided w martha and my dad w paul.. really funny and i wasnt expecting it. Relevant quote from my homework reading: "Have you never noticed this about people who are said to be vicious but clever, how keen the vision of their little souls is and how sharply it distinguishes the things it is turned towards? This shows that its sight isn't inferior but rather is forced to serve evil ends, so that the sharper it sees, the more evil it accomplishes." Apparently the set was full of fighting and drinking and crying and egos, yet they made this classic. Cinema is MAD, exploitation and mind games for the noble cause of Art etc. i wonder if i'll ever grow courage or if i'll ever collaborate successfully to make something good. i'm too sensitive and misanthropic though :(

basic instinct

sharon stone is the most gorgeous woman ever. Her beauty and magnetism carried this movie. Wow. The detective was a creep and an asshole and i wish she had killed him onscreen. I liked the lesbian stuff but it couldve been better, more believable if they had done justice to therapistgirl's character and not made her a sort of doormat for detectiveguy to fuck. (I forget everyone's names already it's been a few weeks). 90s Femme fatale thrillers >>> pure enjoyment

Monsters (koreeda)

i like koreeda and his quotidian japanese details and love of innocence so i'll put up with whatever he throws at me. But this didn't move me emotionally.. It's not that it was too sentimental for me (i don't mind exaggerated emotions or "being manipulated" at all in movies, i love "a walk to remember" LOL). Mainly it's that for a rashomon story the actual events of the plot didn't cut deep enough, have enough danger to live up to the reveals. I don't want the prevailing point of the perspective shifts to be "everyone is misunderstood and human and really none of them are the villain." I'm sick of that cliche, it's not as thought provoking as they think (why was the principal given that dumb uplifting trumpet scene ffs), it sucks the suspense out too much. The abusive dad showing up was a cop out like a mystery where the murderer is a nameless minor character that comes out of literally nowhere. Also not that it's a sexual film at all but the kids especially the smaller one are TOO YOUNG for a gay theme. i mean it felt shoehorned in, they were just lonely weird little boys who had a sweet friendship, it would be more poignant if that "attraction" wasn't made explicit, just leave it unsaid, just leave us something to think about. Don't get all neat. This is OK, nice, watchable, but not special like Nobody Knows or After Life.