#and also pissed me the hell off!!! this shouldnt be a punishment!!!!!

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

i read 'the gender of mona lisa' and i feel. both extremely seen and yet incredibly infuriated

[oretsev]

hi helloo, i'd just written a novel in ur askbox about s&b and then tumblr crashed and it was all lost :') maybe for the better because it was a total mess of thoughts lmao so let me try to summarise my feelings a bit (im sorry this turned out REALLY long)

i HATE that they speedran s&s and r&r in the most bullshit way possible. the entire amplifier hunt was basically removed, at least journey-wise - they just. find the sea whip in that one cave and then they go to morozova's workshop and thats it?? wheres the shu han quest. where the fuck is the ACTUAL spinning wheel. and why is alina not hounding everyone to find the firebird??? she's supposed to be obsessively seeking it now, why does she barely seem to care? also where's the actual ending to siege and storm. WHERE is my darkling & alina fight. wheres her being saved by mal... where's her white hair !!!! idk that scene was my favourite and once i knew we were getting a tv show i really wanted to see this on screen :((

all the characters and relationships they cut... harshaw, misha, ONCAT, tamar&nadia (because lbr they basically weren't there), honestly i even missed sergei and stigg (who i'd barely even remembered before), nadia and adrik as siblings even. they just cut all these people and their journeys with alina for what, a fetch quest for a magic sword?

also, where's the apparat and the soldat sol? we hear people call alina 'sankta', sure, but the entire religious part of ruin and rising is just. completely sidelined. which is really weird because it's so important!! tolya and tamar's faith is basically nonexistent and i don't like it at all

the whole firebird reveal was soooo boring. like i'm sorry but that scene in the book? absolutely perfect. but in the show... it's just a story! baghra just tells mal and thats it! honestly this entire season was so much telling and not showing too, soooo much exposition and it just really didnt work

now then. ive put this off long enough but. the fucking ending. dude... i don't even know where to begin. how do you fuck up the rewrite of your book so badly that the entire moral of your book is just. completely lost?? literally the entire trilogy is built on the "what is infinite? the universe and the greed of men" quote. you CANNOT disregard that in this way. the point of the entire story is that alina's greed is punished! she loses her powers and she loses mal (sort of). the fold is destroyed by her power but not by her, because she never should have had that much power! now... she loses nothing. she has her power, she has three amplifiers, she brought mal back with merzost (which is still. insane to me like i legit laughed out loud when that happened) and now she's general of the second army and also soon probably queen of ravka??? she doesnt lose ANYTHING to her greed.

and with the ending too... where the hell are they going to take this next? because theyre sure as hell not following the kos duology storyline, what with alina now being nikolai's general instead of zoya (which im also. really pissed off about because zoya's story is SO important and theyve just. shoved her to the side)

i also have some thoughts about the crows and how theyve been handled of course i just don't feel as passionately about them (also because they shouldnt have been in this show in the first place but thats just my opinion <3) but i do wonder how theyre gonna start the soc spinoff when theyve basically done so much of the crooked kingdom plot already? and inej is literally already sailing and finding slavers like... i have no idea how theyre going to dothis spinoff and make everyone happy

very small last points but im so mad that they did the "an ordinary life full of ordinary things" line and then decided to. include nikolai? what the actual fuck? and then they didnt even GIVE malina their ordinary life... sorry im so so angry about this ending

i'm sure ive got more to say but this is already wayy too long and i don't wanna bother u anymore but ive just been mad for 3 days straight and really needed to get this off my chest <3 im really disappointed that theyve managed to screw up my favourite book series of all time so i'm just going to reread r&r and forget this season exists :D hope u have a nice day and thank u for reading this dump slfksdj

RIP but ty for venting!!! i totally get everything you’re saying. all of this comes down to the writers smashing basically all of the books into one season for NO reason. all of the things that make the trilogy & duology interesting & compelling & complex are gone bc there’s no time to show them. it’s constantly going GO GO GO with the plot, & for what?? nothing got added to these characters this season, i didn’t feel any impact during any of the big reveals, i didn’t get any emotional payoff from these characters’ journeys.

& why change the ending the way they do? eric’s already said that a season 3 would go back & touch on s&s things they didn’t address. so this ending is meant to draw out alina & mal’s stories, but why do it this way? why backtrack like that? you could certainly draw out the trilogy without speed-running the original ending like this, but that doesn’t fit whatever weird narrative he has for the crows ig.

[mcjour]

i have therapy tomorrow (today) and thinking about the fight i had with my mom this week. i had some good insight earlier in the week closer to when it happened but i didn’t write it down so oops. hopefully i can get it back lol.

my mom was complaining about heartburn and back pain and then extends her arm to me and is like touch me, i want your youth. or something of the sort. i hate when she does that. sometimes she extends her arm out to me and i can always tell when she does it that she is in one of her moods. and i say no. because i dont want to lol.

beyond that, i find even the thought of casually “touching” my mom absolutely repulsive. i hate touching any and everyone, but her especially is like disgusting to me. idk the exact reason why but given my traumatic childhood it is truly unsurpsring

anyway so like i said, i was like no. but shes like yeah yeah just a fingertip touch and im like no. and so she actually gets up off the couch and starts coming towards me. and im still like hell no and im like “do not touch me!!” and im backing my chair up and its really a shame i didnt back it up a little further and break her lamp LOL. anyway she pokes me.

and she sits back down and i am rightfully pissed so im like ??? Why cant you respect that i dont want to be touched????????? and tbh i dont remember the exact conversation but it was defensive?? anyway i do remember it ended kinda meanly haha. she was saying she wasnt thinking and i was like yeah you never think about my feelings do you? and shes like wah you dont think of mine either and stormed off as always. anyway she went out to smoke and i finished eating my spaghetti and cleaned up after myself and went upstairs. 

i was annoyed and mad but figured that was the end of that. but no, then she started texting me!! in whatever state of mind that was.

it was wild cuz she wouldnt take any responsibility?? literally blaming me for her having touched me?? and like being all defensive and saying i was mean to her. idk. like. a normal person would be like omg sorry i shouldnt have done that. still wouldve sucked but like a normal ass apology. instead of whatever the fuck that was

ok my analysis

- lmao she said i attacked her??? the fuck

- i havent done anything

- reminds me of other situations like when my stepmom was trying to force me to hug my grandmother lmao

- she projects bs on me. do i punish you relentlessly or does the image of me you have in mu hrsf fo yhsy? 

- literally no respect for boundaries - and trying to make me feel bad for having those boundaries. those are like probbaly the only boundaries i have too lmaooo

my brother said i did a good job 

its also hard cuz like she is clearly like dissociated or whatever but that doesnt mean shti!!!! and then that night i had like horrible nightmares, wodner why

andthe next day stressing because you dont know, is she going to forget (yes), or try to talk about it, or is she still mad, or what

and like each of those has pros and ocns

[michaelreaderreblog]

My truemate pt2

Word Count: 2,162

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“Hey sweet cheeks, nice scent you have. How about giving me a taste right now” He says while pulling you away from your brothers.

“What the hell gives you the right to come at me like that huh?” You bark back as you pull away from his tight embrace.

“You disrespectful little slut shouldnt talk back to an Alpha” As he yells, your brothers turn around to find you missing from their side and immediately rush to your side right away.

“Exactly what she said, what the hell gives you the damn right to touch her. If she doesnt like it than leave her the hell alone” Dean growls back, and showing no signs of backing down from the creep of an Alpha.

Sam has you hidden behind him while Dean is sizing him up and it works, no one ever dared to start a fight with your older brother well your brothers in general.

As the Alpha backs down is when the manager of the place comes out to the floor, he is this tall, scruffy looking and the most gorgeous blue eyes you have ever seen and his scent gives him away which is not surprising he is an Alpha.

“ROMAN!!!! How many times have I told you? You harass my customers again I will throw you out on your ass and never let you back in” He says with authority in his voice and that ruffles a bit of your feathers but sure hope that wouldnt be that obvious.

“Oh c'mon Benny! With that fine piece of Omega ass you have to give me this one acceptance” Roman creepily locks eyes with you but you stay hidden behind Sam and as you stand there you begin to feel completely violated.

“Hey, hey, hey, I got you ok, I've got you” He says as he pulls you into his arms. Sam senses your fear and about to walk in the direction of the front entrance.

“Hey sweet heart ditch the moose and meet me out back” Thats when Dean throws the first punch and tackles him to the floor. The manager and another customer get Dean off of the creep he tackled.

“Michael, get Roman out of here before this guy kills him” The manager says as he has his hold on Dean but wouldnt be long before he will break that hold and tackle Roman again. Michael takes him out the door and makes sure he doesnt go any where near you.

“Oh c'mon Mikey, I know how to share. You can have her after Im done with her or we can both have her at the same time. Looks like she can handle two knots at the same time.” The creep looks to Michael with an evil grin on his face. Sam is about to punch the creep square in the face when Michael cuts him off and he does instead.

“THATS NOT HOW YOU SPEAK OF A PERSON!!” Michael practically growls at the creep and gets up very quickly to run off.

After the scene before you is when you started to get unusually aroused on how Michael used his alpha voice to yell back at Roman but you hope that it wouldnt be that obvious to your brother Sam because you didnt want to gross him out completely.

You started to get a whiff of his scent and to you it was pleasant well more than just pleasant it was more in the lines of protector, provider and for some odd reason “mate” You couldnt bring yourself to think of him that way but the thought still lurked.

Sam watches and still has you in his embrace as the both of you watch him disappear from the restaurant.

“Miss are you ok? Dick is a dick like literally” the man says as he slowly approaches you and Sam.

“Sorry she is still shaken up but um she is starting to settle down though. Think as soon as my brother settles down inside we are just going to head home.” Sam says to the man as they both stand not far from one another and you still cant bring yourself to look at the person who threw out the douche that laid his hands on you.

“My name is Michael, Michael Cuthbert” He sticks his hand out to shake his hand.

“Cuthbert as in Cuthbert realtors?” Sam asks as he shakes his hand.

“Um yeah but that would be my mother” He answers as he takes his hand away from Sams hold.

“Sam, Sam Winchester and this is my sister Y/n Winchester” Sam introduces himself to Michael along with you but you dont have the heart to greet him right now.

“Think meeting the both of you on better circumstances would have been better and not this way.” Michael says looking to Sam but couldnt look to you since you have been hiding behind your brother the whole time.

“Anyways she sold us the house in the outskirts of town” He says while looking from you to Michael.

“Oh you mean the house on lake manitoc or um Poughkeepsie Road?” He asks keeping his gaze on your brother knowing he didnt want to scare you off by constantly looking at you.

“Yeah Poughkeepsie Road” Sam says but you nudge his from behind.

“The lake is also called Lake Manitoc” You whisper to Sam.

“Oh right yes on both” Thats when the manager comes out to see how you were doing but stay hidden behind Sam.

“Im sorry for the trouble Roman has caused ya and wanted to make sure you were alright. I wanted to also let you know that you do not need to pay for any meals for the rest of the week. I just feel incredibly horrible for such behaviour and in hopes you will except my gracious offer. Im Benny by the way, your brother Dean is alright and is settled in one of the booths eating my famous pecan pie” He says while he is looking in your direction hoping you would accept his apologies and offer.

You dont meet his gaze but still shake in fear, Sam notices it right away and Dean comes out.

“Baby girl you ok?” He asks running towards you and you do the same.

You began to shake even more in your brothers arms.

“Its alright, I got you, we've got you. We got you. Its alright” He says while whispering at the top of your head.

“I wanna go home” You whisper right back to Dean.

“Ok we will go home alright, c'mon kiddo lets get in the car” He opens the passenger door for you, you slide directly in the middle and grab Sam's arm to slide in the front seat as well because you wanted to hang on to your brother Sam while heading home because you couldnt do that to Dean while he is driving.

“Thanks for all you've done, both of you” Dean says before he gets into the driver seat.

“Its not a problem really, how about leave me your address and I'll have the food delivered to your place, how does that sound?” Benny asks

“Yeah that sounds great actually, since I dont have time to leave an order but um surprise us” Dean says and gives one last wave and gets into the car to start her up and drive home.

“Benny?” Michael says while still standing in the same spot.

“Ye- wait a minute, you mean?” He looks to Michael and he gives him a nod.

“Oh sweet lord on bicycle” He says looking away from Michael and to the disappearing car while he covers his mouth with his hand.

“I think I found my true mate Benny” He says in a whisper.

“If you did, what does she smell like to you?” He asks looking to Michael as they enter back inside the restaurant and go to the kitchen to put in a surprise order.

“She smelled like freshly grinded coffee, with the smell of banana's and another sweet smell of caramel just so perfectly blended together or having a freshly made cup of coffee in the morning with a banana sandwich spread on top with Caramel sauce” Michael says with a fond smile across his face as he describes your scent.

When you and your brothers get home and walk into the house and take off your jackets and shoes at the door to hang on the coat rack Dean has placed near by the door. You walk to the kitchen very slowly and realize that your older brother Dean is right behind you.

“Y/n you ok?” He asks as he leans against the fridge debating if he should grab a beer or get some hard liquor from under the sink.

“I will be fine in a minute, I just uh need a little time to get myself together” You answer him honestly as you sit at the counter table.

“Ok thats fine um just so you know Benny says he is going to have someone deliver the food and mentioned its on the house” He says as he makes his way to you from the fridge.

“Y/n you can press charges if you want” Sam says from behind the both of you.

“Right and have them laugh in my face while they tell me its all my fault and finish off with I encouraged it” You tell your brothers in a shaky voice you didnt realize that it came out that way.

“No they wont because we can back you up on this, and not only us but Benny and that guy Michael can be your witnesses to” Sam says as he gives you his puppy dog eyes that are basically pleading with you to do something about the fondling at the restaurant.

“I dont know just, Im just going to go rest in my room for a bit. Let me know when dinner is here” You tell them as you slowly get up from the chair and push it back in to get upstairs to your room to have a few moments to yourself.

“I hope she takes the bastard to court, the way he was looking at her and how he touched her just pissed me right off” Dean says with a growl, a deep throat growl down in his chest and all he can see is red in his rage.

“Dean, calm down y/n doesnt need this right now. I just hope she follows through with this because here in the state of Washington its against the law to harass an Omega against their will and will be punished as soon as the other person calls it in meaning just as long as y/n calls it in” Sam says as he tries to calm down his older brother and once he got him to listen to a word he is saying is when he started to cool down from his hot rage.

You lay in your bed replaying the images over and over again in your head

'I need to do something about this' you think to yourself as you lay there. A knock is what brings you out of your thoughts and you tell the person to enter.

“Hey y/n the food is here” Sam says as he enters into the room and the scent of a Beta swirls into your room so knowing the scent is neutral.

“Ok” Is all you say when you get up from the bed to go down the stairs to eat with your brothers.

“Hey y/n look what I cooked” Dean says once you enter the kitchen as he reveals the entrees which are three stake dinners with caramelized onions, minced garlic, baked and mashed potatoes, with grilled asparagus and sated mushrooms. You chuckle at Dean when he mentioned he had prepared the meal all by himself.

“There is that beautiful smile I have been waiting to see” Your older brother says leaned against the chairs at the table.

All three of you seat yourselves at the table as Dean served out the food, between the three of you is when random conversations were being started at the random moments between meals about what else to do with the house. Dean mentioned about making book shelves for the living room since he has been so curious about Michael's warehouse.

When he brought up Michael is when you thought about the scent he gave off back at the restaurant and to you it smelt like fresh rain falling on the first day of Summer with an earthy scent that gives off fresh mint sprouting into the air and if you smell close enough you can also smell cool crisp air that has come during the first day of Fall which meant protector, provider, kind, home and mine. And than it hit you

“Oh god” You mutter out loud not realizing you were thinking out loud.

[sisyphus-prime]

I've found there's nothing more frustrating than comparing one's punishments to the ones their little siblings get compared to ages. Not that they aren't punished the way I was, but just how much I was punished compared to them