#and also starting to think too seriously abt it..........we all know mal would actually be a hamster v_v

[evilevilevilevilnotevilevilagain]

im doing very well mentally

and by that I mean I'm thinking of expanding my surgical body horror furryverse to include more rabbit girls

[menalez]

Same anon from today abt QLU: Completely agree

lexi 👎🏾 aussie 👎🏾 mildred 👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾

I feel so bad for Rae honestly. She was visibly uncomfortable the entire show, you could tell she was pushed into participating by Lexi. she mentioned she was completely blackout drunk during the sexual encounter with vanessa, which makes me question the consensual aspect. as someone who used to get blackout drunk I understand how confusing that is, and to have people constantly bringing it up and calling it "fingergate" is so humiliating and gross. I also learned Lexi has an onlyfans now and is dating another onlyfans model, which, not to shame her, but it's just a bit sad. I'm glad rae is free now, i don't think lexi was good for her.

Aussie we know has a lot of growing to do. Sam deserves better and I thought and hoped she was going to leave single. I feel like they are back at square one. I did not think proposing with a rock was cute (in another context, maybe, but since it's aussie, it seemed like she wasn't taking things seriously.) It doesn't really feel like they are actually engaged. It feels like everything is just going to go according to Aussie's plan and timeline, with Sam capitulating on all fronts once again. I also had a crush on aussie in the beginning but I'm so over it now. not to be age-ist but the immature way she was acting contrasted sharply with her age, to the point where she looked older and older as the series went on. Like idk how to explain it, she looks damn good for her age but I just kept on thinking "you are 40!" the more time passed and became more and more aware of her physical age compared to the mental.

Mildred... i have no words... DV and getting mad at someone for calling the police when you were the one throwing things. i hope people don't start circulating those false stats about how lesbians are more prone to DV. But just... why did the only lesbian dating show have to end on such a disturbing note. mildred was disturbing.

And YOLY!!! I was so taken aback her actions in ep9 because I feel like the edit favored her previously and she acted so trashy suddenly. The way she acted in the ultimatum episode confused and shocked and baffled me. like the whole time I was like... "I thought you were engaged, are people allowed to do and say these things when they're engaged???"' It made no sense... But wtf girl why did she take off the ring and front like she wasn't engaged, letting xander confess to her, and then flip flop saying she was engaged but she loved xander more, like what was she even hoping to achieve? I was rooting for her but what in the fuck was that?? I truly did not understand what she was doing in that episode, like i'm still confused right now. How did she fumble so hard when two hot butches both were professing their love to her? I think xander and mal both dodged a bullet there in the end.

completely agree when you said "u just accepted someones proposal n then here u are doing things i’d constitute as cheating w another woman.." I could not wrap my head around it. There's a clip of the uncut footage on reddit that shows Yoly was even kissing xander on the mouth after accepting the proposal from Mal. Like wow. i wish mal and xander the best though.

I'll end this here. Hope the rambling wasn't too long or unhinged. This whole show stressed me out so much. thanks for introducing it to me but goddahm it was so much messier than I expected, especially after the reunion. I was so happy at first, like "yay lesbians on tv!" but then, apart from the general reality tv toxicity and messiness, there were some reminders about the anti-woman hellscape we're living in that even lesbian's can't escape 1) pronouns 2) plastic surgery (vanessa got a major nose job :((() 3) "sex work" (Lexi's OF) and 4)DV. I'm glad it exists, though, it ellicited many emotions. If you have any more takes or posts about the show I would love to read them.

Also there's a new lesbian reality tv show called "I kissed a girl" coming out soon on BBC. The gay predecessor, 'I kissed a boy" just wrapped up, and it was pretty good. I was wondering if you heard of it or planned on watching it.

xoxo

wait she was blackout drunk??? thats even worse oh my god.. i mean when she woke up it showed that she immediately regretted it and despite that, lexi constantly guilted and shamed her and demonised her which doesnt even make sense to me... like.. U WERE BROKEN UP ??///

agreed that calling it fingergate is gross tho. rae was clearly v distressed by the whole topic so..

i feel u on aussie. i found her attractive at first too but the temper tantrums changed my mind. i kinda get what u mean about her age, like i thought she looked very young for her age at first but then remembering her age and it being in contrast w her behaviour made her feel a lot older somehow and not in a good way (for me age is generally a good thing lol but her immaturity just made it cringe that shes 42 and Like That)

i get what u mean about DV stats etc cause i thought similarly. i do like that it did show that butches arent the ones who are likely abusers tho, and also yeah i feel like in most couples it was toxic as hell and u could argue someone in the pair is abusive. vanessa (manipulative), mildred (straight up abusive), aussie (always leaving & abandoning her partner, no communication), lexi (controlling and manipulative)... yoly out of her couple but i would say its a reach to say shes abusive or controlling.

ur right yoly's behaviour around the engagement stuff was very weird

also omfg i didnt realise vanessa got a nose job. i noticed she seemed like she got some lip filler but NOOOO i loved her nose wtf !!

whats the show i kissed a boy & i kisssed a girl about ???

[dregs-of-the-barrel]

An unstructured shadow and bone rant xoxo

soo i'm currently rereading shadow and bone and i am...not enjoying it. i'm just getting so frustrated by alina!!!!

She is constantly so sour!! And has no drive unless the context involves a male romantic interest.

i understand that it is difficult to adapt to a new life, but in terms of a reading experience, i am not a fan of having to read up to around the 50% mark in a book before things start to happen (alina manages to activate her powers, the amplifier storyline gets introduced, etc). like until then it was literally just alina being like 'i hate this. where's mal. i want to disappear into the crowd'. I think this may be down to how leigh bardugo structures multi-book stories, because i remember there being precious little actual plot in 'king of scars' until around the last quarter. But it's just not fun having to read pages and pages with no plot or psychological development happening.

Again, i realise these are understandable feelings, but it's far too repetitive, which makes me as a reader wonder why i should care about what happens to alina next. so far the entirety of her personality is hating everything and loving mal. And i don't find that to be a very empowering narrative and don't see why that portion of the story has to be so drawn out.

Another thing that left a really bitter taste in my mouth is the makeout scene between alina and the darkling after/during the winter ball. The way she starts to (in her words) panic when he lifts up her skirt? How she says she doesn't know what would have happened if those other people hadn't arrived? How she says that if she said then that the darkling could come to her room later, there was no going back??

Even taking context such as the darkling's power and alina being an actual wet blanket into account, why is this a narrative on consent that we are presenting to young people? Like seriously, this is the bit that so far has rly rly made me dislike the book for reasons other than strange pacing.

Alina should be shown to want to have a choice.

Why does she have no agency on anything. I know this may change later on in the trilogy (can't remember details that well tbh) but i cannot stress how

Frustrating

reading this is. I don't think the point of a trilogy is to have the bulk of the first book consisting of the main character having no ambition, no desires beyond impressing men that treat her badly, no agency in her own story.

I am tempted to leave the book at this point bc i am honestly just hating every minute of it lmao.

Can we also talk abt the racial stereotyping in botkin please!!! An angry, east-asian coded man who constantly speaks in the third person. I was talking to a friend abt this and she said the characterisation of botkin did not sit right with her AT ALL. and i find i have to agree.

Finally, i don't like how genya is implicitly 'redeemed' in the first book for her beauty and vanity by liking sby who doesn't notice her looks or gives her the time of day. It's just?? The same narrative decision that we see with alina?? How it is only true love and only right for the female character if her love interest doesn't need her to shine, and she is, therefore, redeemed by giving up her ambition.

This narrative plays out a lot more tragically for Genya, of course, seeing as she actually cared about asserting herself and holding agency over the way she looked and lived. But it is ultimately this idea of romantic love, in which female sacrifice (whether voluntary or not) is necessary for making her worthy of her romantic happy end, that happens to both alina and genya, i think. I don't remember the exact progression of genya and david's relationship, but this is the impression that i got from alina and mal's romance in particular.

He belittles and criticises her for decisions that were out of her power, treats her badly, says cruel things to her, yet doesn't change his own behaviour ever?? And how does she become worthy of him: she gives up all power, all ambition, and becomes his suburban housewife (essentially)

I know that many of the issues i take with pacing are probably down to this being leigh bardugo's first book, and i don't by any means hate her. I really love six of crows for how intersectional it is! For how nuanced and varied the character's psychologies are! But those are the points where shadow and bone really falls short. And i hope that some of my rambly unstructured 7am points are redressed by the netflix show.