#and also that I wonder how much seeing another non-cis person not get immediately cancelled upon coming out helped gerard

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You know, I really wonder how much Elliot Page’s coming out influenced Gerard to feel more comfortable expressing their gender nonconformity on stage. Not in like a gross “you can catch the queerness just by being around another one” kinda way but in the way that homophobic parents mistake their kids coming out as ‘social contagion’ when in reality their kid’s friend came out and they saw how all the negative repercussions they had built up as being major barriers to their life weren’t reality (anymore at least), and that they didn’t lose everything, so suddenly its just that bit easier to truly express themselves or whatever.

Ya know? Like I wonder how much getting to see, so up close and personal, exactly what happened when Elliot Page came out, and how, yeah there was some backlash and some things aren’t the same, but at the same time, Elliot Page still has a life. Still has a job. News articles about them don’t misgender them (unless it’s one of the terrible ones but that’s just evidence for which to avoid in the future). The Umbrella Academy still took the top of the Netflix charts for over a week straight in season 3 and got renewed for a 4th and final season (which is a pretty standard run length for a well running Netflix show. They’ve so far only had a total of 19 shows get a season 4 (not counting shows that have been renewed for a season 4 but haven’t released season 4 yet because Netflix has in the past changed its mind on show renewals), 8 of which were docuseries, reality tv, or a late night talk show style interview series all of which cost significantly less to produce).

So, I just wonder if getting to see that. Getting to see how, yes expressing yourself fully in regards to gender can still be a risk even in 20 fucking 22, overall, the fall out of doing so isn’t like it was in the 80’s, the 90’s or even the early to mid 2000’s when mcr got started and got called slurs for wearing makeup or masc-aligned-but-theatrical outfits. I wonder if seeing that kinda, nudged them towards the realization that we wouldn’t suddenly hate the entire band just because they wore a dress on stage. Or whatever else they probably thought (and probably would have earlier in their life) would happen.

[angrybrowngirlabroad-blog]

Of Privilege and Punching Nazis

The title of this blog is “Angry Brown Girl Abroad” and it exists for two reasons.  One is to record my adventures of my travels through Central America and my trials and tribulations as I struggle to learn Spanish and connect to my roots.  The other reason is the “angry brown girl” side, a place to vent my opinions on my place in the world as an ambiguously brown, female in gender (most of the time) person from the United States.  I’ve mostly used this blog for the former, and I tend to take to Facebook more often to voice my opinions on the latter, because, quite frankly, I think they are more likely to be seen and shared there.  However, I feel like it’s time to explore my angry brown side a bit more in this space.

I actually haven’t posted anything on this blog in a few months.  Part of this was because I was in a rush, and went back to the states for the holidays, which ended up being a very emotionally tumultuous time for me.  When my feelings are in overdrive, I still turn to writing for comfort, but I rarely publish those deep feelings for anyone else to read.  The holidays were hard for a variety of reasons, but the even harder part was coming back to the country I am currently staying in (Guatemala) and watching both the inauguration and coverage of the Women’s March on Washington from thousands of miles away, and the ensuing aftermath of both events.  Watching your country implode from a distance is a strange feeling, you care, you want to be there, you can’t look away, you feel glad that you got out, you feel guilty that you got out, you struggle to enjoy your time here while you wonder if you can do more for the people still there.  I’m working on finding the balance, but I’m spending a great deal of time on the internet these days, reading about each new horrible thing our incompetent commander in chief has cooked up that threatens the lives of POCs, LGBTQ people and disabled citizens.  I am both constantly surprised by the lengths this administration is willing to go to, and also the response from people to it, especially within my own community.  I am frustrated with them more specifically, as I find out where each person falls on certain lines in the sand.  One of the ones that keeps coming up, weeks after I feel it should have been settled, is punching a Nazi (and, more recently, the violent opposition of Milo Y-I’mnotevengonnatryhesanasshole speaking at UC Berkley). I AM REALLY TIRED OF PEOPLE WHO ARE THE LAST IN LINE TO BE HURT BY BOTH NAZIS AND MILO YGAYNAZI TELLING PEOPLE IN THE LINE OF FIRE HOW THEY SHOULD REACT TO SUCH ABUSE.

Yep, I said it, I mean it.  It is not at all a surprise to me that every person I have argued with personally about whether violence is justifiable against people who PROMOTE VIOLENCE has been a cis-hetero-white dude.  I’m just mad that there are so many, and so many that I know personally, and that they have the audacity to call me, and the people like me to who disagree with me, names because we won’t agree with them that “violence is never the answer.”   Violence should not be our first answer.  Violence should not be applied willy-nilly to anyone who disagrees with us.  Violence is, 99% of the time, the last choice from a marginalized group.  You know why?  Because it’s dangerous, because people don’t want to do it, and because the people most likely to suffer the worst legal ramnifications for using violence against their oppressors are minorities.  Black men get shot by cops for doing literally nothing, you think they are going to actively choose to fight the police as their first move?  Nah. Which brings me to another point: so many of these dudes who I’ve seen argue really hard against punching actual, confirmed Nazis, have been oddly silent on cases where POCs are killed, without justification, by police.  They’ll go on and on about how minorities should not use violence to defend themselves, but say nothing for the victims of state-sponsored police violence.  They get into a frothy fervor about hypothetical punching, but when was the last time they even acknowledged the tragic ends of Tamir Rice or Trayvon Martin?  (Both are children and the last was killed by another citizen).  Where is there outrage for the actual deaths of people, who espoused no genocidal beliefs, and were killed for the simple sake of being not-white?  Is it because the punching of white dudes might actually affect them whereas police shooting them is pretty much a non-issue?  I take note of who goes hard for what issues, I see you, and trust me, I’ve made note. But lets just say that said dude is not in this just for himself and his own preservation.  Still, defending Nazis and the pasty scum that is Milo Yareyousoawful does not paint you in a good light.  Its not like these are white dudes who said something questionable on the internet.  Richard Spencer, the aforementioned Nazi who was punched mid-interview at Trump’s inauguration, is a confirmed Alt-Right (CALL THEM FUCKING NAZIS) leader who just launched a new website dedicated to the Alt-Right movement.  His previous website featured the essay “Is Black Genocide Right?” and features the line: “we should instead be asking questions like, ‘Does human civilization actually need the Black race?’ ‘Is Black genocide right?’”* So, pretty clearly a Nazi.  As for Milo Ywontyoujustgoaway, he is a Breitbart senior editor known for slinging hate who was supposed to speak at UC Berkeley but his engagement was cancelled after violent protests on campus.  Milo Yifeelsorryforyourmom has built his empire on hate, he gained notoriety last year by leading the charge on Twitter that led to Leslie Jones (one of the stars of the new Ghostbusters) being harassed with a slew of racist, sexist, violent messages and tweets.  This earned him a ban from Twitter, but didn’t stop his book deal.* In his speech at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee he outed a trans student named Adelaide Kramer, projecting a photo of her earlier in her transition for all of her classmates to see and calling on the audience to laugh at her as he degraded an misgendered her.* There are reports that, in his UC Berkeley address, that Milo Yohgawdshutup was planning to target students who did not have documentation to live in the United States.  Milo Yuccccckkkkkkkkkk claimed that it wasn’t true, but that instead he intended to talk about cultural appropriation while wearing a Native American headdress, so either way the man is filth.*  It’s not like these men are people who posted a questionable Facebook status, they have a documented history of advocating hate and abuse against people not like them. And we get told we cannot fight these men with fists because it would be “sinking to their level.”  We can’t, though, not with a single punch.  Hitting someone who advocates for the murder of an entire group based on the color of their skin is not comparable to, I don’t know, advocating the murder of an entire group based on the color of their skin.  Unless you immediately start putting together armed groups and planning the next white genocide after you throw that punch, there is no sinking.  Making someone reconsider their choice to espouse violent rhetoric in a public arena is a good thing, a thing that one wishes we could accomplish with protests, but clearly those protests are doing little to slow down the new Nazis in this country.  Also, claiming that we’ll lose support of fence sitters and drive them to the genocidal far right because we’re advocating for Nazi punching is ridiculous.  Anyone who is on the fence about support genocide or genocidal rhetoric is not someone whose going to change their mind if we are lenient on those who would see them hang.  If you’re on the fence about genocide, well your fence is already pretty far past the line of decency anyways. Which brings me to my last point, the invocation that I have heard over and over again that we should try and talk things out with Nazis.  That our words will be more effective than our fists.  And to this I say, “Maybe yours, Mr. Hetero White Dude who keeps espousing this belief” because believe me, they are not going to listen to an ambiguously brown woman, with an ambiguous sexuality, talk to them about hating less.  Those of us who are targets of Nazi hate should not be required to speak calmly to our oppressors about it, especially since some of the oppressors feel like we should be shot on sight.  And telling us we should is ignoring and invalidating the very real and justifiable fears that we feel.  Stop doing that, it’s a form of gaslighting.

The fact is, if Nazis are going to listen to ANYONE at all, it’s going to be another white dude.  Which means these dudes defending the not-punching of Nazis, should put their money where their mouth is and go talk to Nazis.  I want each and every one of you, before you come onto a status of a POC, LGBTQ or disabled person and tell them how violence is not the answer, to go to an alt-right forum, a Facebook page, hell, even in person, and engage in a peaceful discussion.  I want receipts proving that you are willing to do the very thing you are preaching that the rest of us to do.  I want to know your success rate for converting Nazis before you open your mouth about our methods.  Since you care so much, go and do the work you wish to be done in the world.  Maybe the two-pronged approach, discussion and violent opposition will be even more effective.

I’ll be over here, practicing my elbow strikes. PS: The First Amendment only protects your freedom of speech from the government shutting you down, it does not protect you from the people who you are calling for the murder of en masse from beating your ass down, so I’m gonna need all you crying out about that to get off that tired horse.  Words have consequences.

* http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2017/01/17/richard_spencer_launches_the_alt_right_s_newest_website.html * http://www.vanityfair.com/style/2016/12/milo-yiannopoulos-leslie-jones-book-deal * https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/trans-student-harassed-by-milo-yiannopoulos-speaks-out

* http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/uc-berkely-protests-milo-yiannopoulos-publicly-name-undocumented-students-cancelled-talk-illegals-a7561321.html 

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Dirty Utah Custody Case Tricks to Watch Out For

DIRTY TRICK NO. 1: AVOIDING SERVICE.  People will go to great lengths to delay the inevitable, and step number one is avoiding service.  This can be especially devastating if you are trying to serve a restraining order on the party to prevent them from moving your child out of the state.  An experienced Utah Custody Lawyer will know the “tricks of the trade”, so to speak, and will be able to help you serve those papers on the opposing party and get your case rolling. When it comes to child custody, be aware that sometimes it may be hard to get service effectuated.

DIRTY TRICK NO. 2: SHOWING UP AT THE FIRST HEARING AND ASKING FOR A CONTINUANCE TO GET AN ATTORNEY, EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE ALREADY HAD WEEKS OR MONTHS TO DO SO.  The person who currently has the most legal rights over the child is not anxious for that to change, and is motivated to delay the proceedings.  This is one of the most common ways that they accomplish this. An experienced Child Custody Lawyer can help you keep the opposing party from abusing this trick, although they may receive one continuance to obtain an attorney.

DIRTY TRICK NO. 3: FAILING TO PAY THE GUARDIAN AD LITEM, IN ORDER TO KEEP THE GAL FROM DOING THEIR JOB.  When a GAL begins their investigation, this represents the possibility of change.  For the party who does not want anything to change, this is a threat.  The GAL does not start work until they have been paid the fee, which is usually split in some fashion between the parties pursuant to the court’s order.  The party who sees the GAL as a threat sometimes delays or refuses to pay the GAL’s fee, with the result being the GAL does not begin work, and the process is delayed.  An experienced Utah Custody Lawyer can advise you regarding how to deal with this problem and make sure the GAL starts work despite the other party’s resistance.

DIRTY TRICK NO. 4: THREATENING THE CHILDREN.   This dirty trick is especially loathsome.  Most people do not threaten the children physically (although some do, unfortunately).  This is usually more of a psychological threat to the children, such as “if the court gives Daddy what he wants you won’t ever see Mommy again (or your dog, or your sister, etc.).  It is a terrible thing to do, for any reason, but unfortunately it happens all too often.  The threat is designed to sway what the children will say to the Guardian ad Litem or the Commissioner.  If this happens to you, your Utah Custody Lawyer will know what to do, and you should tell them immediately.

DIRTY TRICK NO. 5: HOPSCOTCH COUNSELLING.  Sometimes people put their child in counseling right around the time of litigation, in order to (hopefully) solicit some information from the child during counseling that will help their case.  This tactic is suspect if the need for counseling arose right around the time the litigation was initiated.  Then once the child has made a statement which the parent believes is detrimental to the other parent, the other parent is invited to attend counseling.  After that, with very little contact with parent B, and getting most of their information from Parent A, the parent who initiated counseling and has a litigation agenda, the counselor makes statements to the guardian ad litem, which the guardian ad litem almost always follows because the counselor is an “expert”.  Although counselors are not supposed to make recommendations regarding custody, as a treater, all to many of them do not know this, and will produce a letter supporting the agenda of the parent who sought them out and gave them most of their information (and is also pressuring the child).  Even more suspect is when the counselor is someone that the lawyer recommended.  Even more suspect than that is when Parent A did not get the desired result from the first counselor, so they move on to counselor B.

In this situation, it may be toxic for Parent B to become involved with the counselor at all. Before having any contact with the counselor, Parent B should speak to his or her experienced Utah Custody Lawyer and carefully plan his or her response to the situation.

Free Consultation with a Child Custody Lawyer

If you have a question about child custody question or when you need a family law attorney, please call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We want to help you.

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Source: http://www.ascentlawfirm.com/dirty-utah-custody-case-tricks-to-watch-out-for/