#and also we love 5sos so it's a great place for that

[clumsyclifford]

hello!!! it’s been a hot sec since i made a post about the club but here i am again to tell you that if you like 5sos and/or new friends (and are 18+) you are more than welcome to join our silly little discord server!! it is called the club for no discernible reason whatsoever and it is the most fun place in the planet. some positive reviews:

anyway if you would like to join you can just shoot me a DM and ill drop a link for you :)

[lucy90712]

English love affair- Fermin Lopez

A/n: yes this is loosely based on the 5sos song I remembered it existed recently and haven't stopped listening to it 

Fermin's POV

It's always fun getting to visit a new country especially to play football but I've never known somewhere to be as rainy as England or London specifically. It's done nothing but rain since we landed but still the boys insisted we go out and explore as we have some free time they quickly regretted it when our umbrellas all turned inside out in the wind so we all decided to just go and get some lunch and watch the busy London streets from somewhere dry. The place we ended up in because it was close was actually rather nice and it was quiet too with just a few other table none of which seemed to pay any mind to us which hopefully means they don't know who we are. 

Once we were sat down one of the other groups caught my eye it was a group of girls who looked around my age. It wasn't just the girls that caught my eye it was one of them in particular I don't know what it was about her but I couldn't take my eyes off her she isn't my usual type but she is just so strikingly beautiful it's hard not to admire her. As soon as I noticed her I didn't stop staring which I know is creepy but the way she smiled and laughed with her friends was just so mesmerising. Out of all places to meet such a beautiful girl a tiny restaurant in the middle of London is not what I expected but I'm not going to complain. 

"Hey are you still with us bro" gavi elbowed me 

"Yeah yeah" I replied not looking at him 

"What have we been talking about for the last 10 minutes then?" Pedri asked 

"The game" I guessed 

"You know it's creepy just to stare at that girl right" Joao said 

"I'm not staring" I lied finally taking my eyes off her 

"You so are" Pedri said 

"Has fermin found love at first sight" Gavi teased 

"Stop it guys she'll hear you" I whisper yelled at them 

"Surely you want her to hear us there's no point just staring at her if you don't say something you'll never see her again" Joao said 

His logic was sound I can't lie. There is no point admiring her from afar if I don't say anything I'll never see her again and if she rejects me well then I don't have to face her again which would hopefully make it easier to take. That makes it sound simple but it's not that straightforward I'm not the best at talking to girls I never know what to say like do I just introduce myself do I compliment them it's all so complicated and I never seen to get it right. Of course in this situation there is the added problem of the language barrier I speak English pretty well but I don't know if I know enough to have a conversation with her and sometimes accents complicate things. It's a lot to think about but there isn't really time to think about it as she could leave at any time and I need to have something to say. 

For the rest of lunch all the boys kept trying to give me pointers on what to say some of which were serious but most were jokes. They also tried to find her Instagram for me but they were entirely unsuccessful which didn't surprise me as we don't even know her name but they tried nonetheless. While they talked among themselves I noticed that she was finally getting up to leave and as if it was meant to be her friends all left her so I had no reason not to take my chance. I was going to get up and talk to her but the boys pushed me out of my seat before I could get up and told me not to come back until I'd spoken to her. I approached her as she turned to leave her table and we locked eyes for the first time and I nearly froze but I didn't I kept walking towards her. 

"Hi I'm Fermin sorry if this is too forward but I thought you were really pretty and wanted to introduce myself" I said 

"Thank you Fermin I'm y/n" she said 

"I know this seems a lot but I'm only here for a few days so would you want to go and get coffee or something as long as you're free" I said 

"That sounds great I have the rest of today off as long as you are available" she said 

"Great you might have to guide me on where to go if you couldn't tell I'm not from here" I joked 

"I have the perfect place to go" she said 

With that we left together and I texted the boys telling them I'll pay them back for my part of the bill later. As we walked wherever she wanted to go we got to know each other a bit more she told me that she was in fact my age and that she's still in university studying psychology but she's on a break which is why she's out with friends during the day. I told her a bit more about myself but I didn't tell her exactly why I was here because I want to get to know her more before I tell her that I play football because that can really change how girls act around me. I'd love to believe that she wouldn't be like that but you never know there's girls I've met before that I thought wouldn't be so obsessed with my career but they were although I do think y/n is different. 

She took us down a few backstreets before we reached this cafe which only had two other people in it which was perfect. As soon as we entered the lady running the place came over to ask y/n how her studying had been going and she offered us our drinks on the house but y/n insisted on paying. If I didn't already like her that interaction only confirmed my thought that she was just truly a lovely person and that's something I find really attractive in a girl. We sat in a quiet corner of the cafe and sipped our drinks but mostly we just didn't stop talking. I've never had such a connection with someone before, it sounds like such a cliche but we really got on like a house on fire instantly. She's really just perfect I've never found someone I love everything about from the moment I met them but that's how I feel with y/n, every good quality you would want she has she's kind, patient and not to mention absolutely beautiful. 

After finishing our drinks and getting to know each other we both had to leave I'm supposed to  eat with the team for dinner and she had to do some studying but luckily her place is on the way to my hotel so we got to walk together. However the walk wasn't very long and before I knew it we had to say goodbye. I didn't want this to be the last time we see each other so I just kind of blurred out that I'm here to play football and invited her to the game. Naturally she had a few questions but I answered them and she agreed to come to the game tomorrow which is how I got her number so I could text her all the details she would need. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Your POV

With my week off from uni I expected to see some friends and just unwind a bit but instead I ended up going out with a guy and not just any guy a Barcelona player who is playing a match in the champions league today and invited me to go. To say I'm nervous would be an understatement, I've never been to a football match before let alone been invited by a player so I have no idea what to expect. All I do know is that I'm really excited to see Fermin again he's such a nice guy and incredibly attractive plus we connected really well so it would've been a shame if we only saw each other once before he had to go back to Barcelona. 

Last night I did so much googling to learn as much about football and Fermin's team as possible I don't know how much I retained but I tried my best. Something I definitely did remember was that this was an important match for the team so they will really want to win and I really hope they do because I'd love to see Fermin happy. I also realised that football was a lot more popular than I thought as Barcelona had over 120 million followers on Instagram and Fermin had over 2 million. Knowing how popular Fermin and the team were did make me anxious because I have less than 50 followers and a private account which I'm fine with because I don't like the attention but I think Fermin is worth the possible complete change in my life. 

Time went by so quickly today before I knew it I was supposed to be getting ready to leave which meant deciding what to wear. The obvious choice would be a Barcelona shirt but I don't own one so I can't do that instead I just put on some blue jeans and a red top so I was close enough to wearing the Barcelona colours. I did some simple makeup and did my hair but that was all I had time for as I had to get to the stadium and find my seat before the start of the match. 

Getting to the stadium actually wasn't too bad but I got so lost trying to find my seat as Fermin didn't get me just any ticket he got me a vip ticket which meant I had a really good seat but it was hard to find the right entrance. Once I found my seat I was offered drinks and all sorts of other things but I just wanted to sit there as I was feeling really nervous all of a sudden. Everyone else in the vip section was very clearly either important people or wives/girlfriends of the players which made me feel a little out of place. Everyone had designer clothes on their hair done all nicely and perfect makeup and there I was in clothes I've owned for years with barely anything done to my appearance. Most of them were also speaking Spanish which I have a basic understanding of but I couldn't make out a word they were saying so I just kept to myself. 

The match was very intense which I think was made worse for me because I didn't really know what was going on but it ended up in a Barcelona win which really made me happy. All of the players celebrated in front of the fans before finally leaving the pitch which was my cue to find my way down to the locker room as Fermin told me to meet him down there after the game. I saw some of the other girls from my section of seats heading a certain way so I just followed them and luckily they were going the right way and I found where I needed to be. I text Fermin to tell him I was there whenever he was ready but seconds after I sent the text he was coming out the door with the biggest smile on his face which made me smile even more. He ran straight over to me and gave me a hug clearly still high on adrenaline but it loved it. As he pulled away he gave me a kiss on the cheek which made me blush so hard I probably looked like a clown. 

"Congrats you guys were so good out there" I said 

"Thank you did you enjoy the game?" He asked 

"Yeah it was a bit confusing but the atmosphere was amazing" I answered honestly 

"That just means I'll have to see you again and explain the rules" he smirked 

"I might need more than one lesson the offside rule seems a bit confusing" I joked 

"I wish I could spend more time with you but we leave tomorrow morning" he said 

"But if it's ok with you I'd love to walk you home so we can spend more time together" he added 

"I'd really like that" I said 

He had to go back to the team for a bit but he gave me a water bottle and an apple incase I was hungry which made me laugh but I appreciated him caring so much about me. He wasn't gone that long but when he came back a few of his teammates followed him so he introduced me to them quickly as they wanted to meet me. They were all so sweet that it actually made me even more sad that they were all leaving and this little fling or whatever it is I have with Fermin will be over. We are lucky to have a bit more time together even if it is just the walk back to my place I will take all the time I can get. 

Fermin took my hand and we walked back to my place together very slowly so we could have more time together. As we walked it became darker and colder outside until it started to rain which is very typically England it always rains at the worst times. I did bring an umbrella but that lasted less than a minute in the wind so we were getting soaked but I didn't care at all I'd stand out here forever if I was with Fermin. He seemed to feel the same as neither of us walked any quicker we just accepted the fact that we were going to get wet and it was worth it. Eventually we made to right outside my apartment building and it was time for us to say our final goodbyes and I can't lie I felt tears in my eyes. It feels somewhat stupid to be so attached to someone I just met but we just had an instant connection and I don't want to let it go just yet. 

"I can't believe how much I don't want to leave you right now" Fermin said 

"I really don't want you to leave either" I said 

"I know we are both busy but promise me that we will try and keep in contact and if it doesn't work then it doesn't work but I can't let you go like this" Fermin said 

"I promise I'm not going to give up on this" I said 

"Can I kiss you?" he asked 

All I did was nod which was enough for Fermin as he leant in and pressed his lips to mine. We were both freezing from the rain but I felt so much warmer when his lips met mine which told me that our connection as new as it is is very real. I've never felt like this when kissing anyone before let alone a first kiss which I think is the universes way of telling me that I've met someone special and to not give up on this without a fight. We kissed for a bit longer before we both pulled away and just stared at each other with our foreheads connected until we couldn't just stand there anymore. Fermin gave me one last kiss and promised he'd text me tomorrow before leaving to head back to his hotel leaving me to go inside and come to terms with all of the millions of feelings I had running through me.

~~~~~~~~~~

2 years later 

Just last week I submitted my dissertation and finished my degree it has been a hard few years but I'm proud of myself for doing it. The big changes in my life don't end there though as not only have I put a big part of my life behind me but I'm moving to a completely new country. Fermin and I have been together for nearly 2 years now and today is the day I finally move in with him in his place in Barcelona. The road to get here has been long but it all feels worth it Nke that I'm going to get to see him in person everyday not over the phone. 

Our relationship hasn't been normal in any way in fact our first date was over FaceTime and we started dating before we even had our first kiss as he asked me to be his girlfriend over FaceTime too. There has been lots of ups and downs and there has been times we have nearly broken up as we were so stressed with other things which affected our relationship but we made it. It feels like the hard part of our relationship is over and from now on I feel like it will be plain sailing. We have always had a special connection from the second we met but that really comes alive when we get to be together in person so getting to live together and be there for each other everyday is going to be so amazing. 

As much as I love Fermin with my whole heart deciding to move to Barcelona wasn't an easy decision. My whole life has always been in England like my friends and my family and I wasn't sure if I was ready to let go of all that and completely start my new life. Fermin was so supportive as well as I made my decision he told me if I needed to move back home for a bit longer to find myself outside of education then he would support that. Ultimately I decided that it was time for me to take the leap and discover who I am with him as I want him to always be part of my life so we decided we'd move in together which it some might seem risky but we know each other so well that neither of us thought it would be a problem. 

Preparing to move has been quite stressful as I've been shipping my things to Fermin so that I only have to bring some things with me on the plane but now I'm ready to go all I feel is excitement. Sitting on the plane sending my last text to Fermin before I land and we get to be together forever felt amazing but strange at the same time the long distance chapter of our relationship is finally coming to an end. The entirety of the flight all I thought about was all the things we can finally do now that we get to spend more time together like we can go on weekend trips if he has time off or spontaneous midweek dates and even just the things regular couples do together. 

Coming through the doors into the arrivals area Fermin was waiting there for me, he spotted me in seconds and we just ran towards each other. His arms wrapped around my waist as he engulfed me in the tightest hug I've ever experienced he held me so tight that he lifted my feet off the floor which he took to his advantage and spun me round. Once he finally put me down his lips were attached to mine almost instantly and we shared what I think was the best kiss we've ever had. 

"I'm so glad you're finally here and our lives together can finally begin" he said 

"I can't wait to see what the future holds" I said  

[catherinnn]

Bad Omens

Rockstar! Eddie Munson x Rockstar! reader are band mates, their shows are famous for how they flirt on stage and how fans ship them. But it's different off stage, she's dating a famous actor, Hollywood's sweetheart, as Eddie calls him. She thinks this sexual tension with Eddie is an act, but if it was she shouldn't be jealous when she sees Eddie with his groupies, or they shouldn't write love songs about each other and having to preform them.

warnings: cheating, jealousy, groupies, mentions of sex, alcohol consumption, fighting, angst (happy ending), there's a part where reader has a little anxiety attack before going on stage but it's really brief and not very ditailed.

words: 4.1k

a/n: I use 5sos songs as if they are from Corroded Coffin, so imagine them more metal.

part II: "Slut!"

It’s the four year anniversary of ‘Corroded Coffin’, the band you joined in your senior year of high school when you best friend Gareth invited you since he knew how much you liked singing —and how great he thought you actually were, he was right apparently — you proudly took the place of lead singer, next to Eddie. At first, the idea was that you’d be the lead singer and Eddie the lead guitarist. But one night in the hideout, you made a cover of a duet, and the way your voices sounded so romantic together, all the chemistry you had on stage, made the changes into Eddie and you being the lead singers. Luckily for you, that night was also the night Richard, your current manager, was in the crowd. And the rest was history.

That night was four years ago tonight. The band is celebrating by presenting a special show in LA. Sold-out within 24 hours.

“How are we feeling tonight, Los Angeles?!” you asked to the crowd in front of you and they all started screaming as you finished the question. “You know, this is a very special night for us, it’s our four-year anniversary!” people shout again. “And we thought: what better way to celebrate it than with you? The ones that made all of this possible?”

“You know, thanks to you, we’re not remembering that night four years ago as just the band that we were in when we were teenagers. Thanks to you, we remember that night as the night everything started, this absolute craziness!” Eddie thanked the crowd as he began playing softly on his guitar the next track on the set-list. “So, to show you our appreciation for you, we’re gonna play one of your favourites: this is ‘No Shame.’ I wanna see you all jumping!”

 “Angel, with the gun in your hand. Pointing my direction, giving me affection” You started singing. The crowd went wild as they jumped and sang along with you. Until you reached to one of your favourite parts of this song. “I love the way you're screaming my name. Alright, I wanna hear you all scream for Jeff!” You said as the boys played the instrumental before the bridge. The crowd started screaming, just like you asked them. “Now scream for Luke!” you pointed the mic to their direction and they began screaming again. “For Gareth?!” The same reaction. “I wanna hear you scream for Eddie!” you said with a smirk and somehow people were screaming even more. Eddie smirked too. “Now scream for me” you finally said in a sweet voice and people shouted just as hard.

“Go on and light me like a cigarette. Even if it might be something you regret.” Eddie continued singing his part as he walked towards you. “You got me now, now, now. Swallow me down, down, down, down.” He sang facing you and actually going down himself until he ended kneeling in front of you. You laughed at this and he gave you a smirk. You continued singing your part shaking you head.

You could see one of the signs the fans had brought that said: “Eddie, just kiss her already.” The girl putting the sign up every time you sang together onto the same mic, or when he came behind you dancing to you while you sang.

Your shows were known for all the flirting you and Eddie did on stage. The chemistry, the sexual tension palpable even for the crowd. Things like those — or when you sing a love-song looking directly at each other; or like the times that when the show ends, Eddie grabs you over his shoulder or bride-style and runs off stage with the rest of the band — are what made your shows so famous.

As you walk backstage tonight, sweaty and agitated thanks to the great show, you find your boyfriend, Rudy, waiting for you to finish. You run to him with a smile and hug him as you arrive.

“That was a great show, sweetheart! You look so hot tonight” he complements you.

“Even now that I’m all sweaty?” you joke.

“Especially now that you’re all sweaty” he responds. “Got me thinking I could join you for you bath tonight, right babe?” he whispers into your ear only for you to hear. But your giggles make it kind of obvious.

Eddie rolls his eyes as he walks pass you, but you don’t notice.

Rudy is a famous actor, he’s in a well-known sitcom that is now on its third season. He was also in a few rom-coms that were secretly your favourite. You met six months ago on an award show where he came up to you and told you he was a big fan of the band and proceeded to flirt with you the entire night. And you were internally fangirling a bit.

Your relationship with Eddie was more difficult to define. You had kissed him a few — lots — of times. But mostly on the starts of the band, and mostly drunk or high at some party you were in, never public. The flirting on stage happened mostly because at first, you were always flirting. On and off stage. There's still flirty comments now and then to make you feel better, or just to make each other a little nervous. Obviously the making out stopped now that you have Rudy, but the flirting hasn't, especially on stage. And it wasn't something very pleasing for Rudy.

He didn't consider himself as a jealous guy. But if you have to watch the news about what your girlfriend and his band-mate did on the last show of Corroded Coffin, or actually going to one of the concerts only to stare at how your girlfriend is practically grinding on Eddie while they dance and sing together to one of their songs. It definitely makes you feel it's too much.

You've had countless of talks explaining it's just for show, it's what made your concerts so famous and why people go to them. That makes him feel better for a little bit, but then he feels the insecurities rising back the next concert he attends.

The thing is, you really did believe it was all for show, no actual feelings. That was until Eddie started to pay more attention to the groupies. A thing that he didn’t use to do just a few month before, usually Gareth or Luke were the ones who always had a groupie waiting for them backstage, or at every party you went to. But as Eddie began to constantly have a different girl on his lap, making out with them instead of dancing with you, flirting with them instead of you. You began to feel an uncomfortable sensation in your chest.

“Hey, sorry I’m late” Jeff enters the studio. “Where’s Eddie?” he asks once he sits down and notices there’s still one missing.

“Not here yet” Gareth answers him. You could insinuate why he was so late but didn’t want to think much about it, it would only make you angry.

But your insinuations end up being true, giving that thirty-five minutes later you see the missing member of the band entering the studio. “Sorry, my bad, I forgot we were meeting today”

“Yeah, either way, we called your house several times with no response” you complained.

“Wasn’t at mine’s, I heard the messages you left me when I got home and came running”

“What kept you busy all afternoon if it wasn’t work?” you asked showing how angry you were at his irresponsibility. You weren’t expecting him to answer, you weren’t expecting what the answer was, or the smug smirk on his face while he said it.

“I think the actual question should be: who kept me busy”

“You’re gross” you said cringing and ignoring the uncomfortable feeling in your chest again.

“Hey, you don’t hear me complain every time I see you making out with your little boyfriend: Hollywood’s sweetheart”

“Yeah, because I don’t do that when I have to be at the studio making a new album, I do that on my own free time!”

Eddie was about to say something back but Jeff interrupted.

“Okay! We could be here the rest of the afternoon fighting or we could take the time we have left and actually work on something!”

And the rest of the afternoon was in fact spent on writing and recording with some angry stares between Eddie and you from time to time.

“Who wrote this?” Eddie asked you reading one of the papers with some random lyrics on them. Luke and Jeff went to get some coffee for everyone and while Gareth worked on revising what you had just recorded, you and Eddie stayed working on more lyrics.

I don't wanna get older without your head on my shoulder.

Lost in the day to day you kiss away the pain.

It's not worth it if I lose my one-way ticket for two. Just me, just you.

“I did” you answer. It wasn’t more than three sentences that came to you while waiting for Eddie.

“Inspired by the actor?” he asked sarcastically.

“What?”                                                      

“Your boyfriend, I mean. It’s really romantic” he explained.

“No, ‘s just something I thought of, no one in mind”

“Mmh, that’s weird. Are you not inspired by him?” he insisted.

“What? Eddie, I can write something that it’s just on my mind. I don’t need to be in love to write love songs. Or do you write romantic songs about your groupies?” he was really getting on your nerves today.

“No,” he laughs at that comment. “but why do you act so defensively? Don’t want me to know that the song is actually for me?”

“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?”

“Absolutely”

“Do you have a crush on my boyfriend or something? Cause you can’t seem to stop bringing him up randomly” you ask ignoring his previous response.

“On him? No. On you maybe” he jokes…I think.

“So you’re jealous” you point out.

“That depends if this song is for him or for me” he says expecting you to tell him the truth. You blush a little.

“None” you lie, he notices. “Nothing Shakespearean about it”

“I like that”

“What?”

“Not the way you just lied to me, definitely” he says, “’nothing Shakespearean’” he thinks for a few seconds and you just stare at him waiting, admiring a little. “No tragedy at the end, no nothing Shakespearean. It all comes flooding back again” he sings slowly.

“My dear devoted delicate” you sing too, finishing that line. He smiles and writes it down. You keep working on that song forgetting about the previous conversation.

That same weekend, a party thrown by a singer that was friends with the band. So you decided to go for a little while. You went only with the boys, your boyfriend was working late this weekend. Despite both being on the same city, fortunately. That didn’t mean that you would always have lots of time together, unfortunately.

You did some shots with the boys, danced with them for a while, really having a good time. Eddie surprisingly rejected the girls who came looking to steal him away. So you could actually enjoy a night out with him. And you really did.

“Hey, here you are!” Gareth says when he finds you.

“Here I am” you say with a smile.

“And here she stays, don’t come stealing her away” Eddie warns him.

“I just come to give her a message from her dear boyfriend, he called on Jeff’s phone, and he said he’s off work early and if you want, he’ll come to pick you up” he said rising his eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh, seriously? Yeah, okay. Tell him to come”

“Sure thing” he leaves and you turn to grab your coat.

“Seriously? You’re just gonna leave?” Eddie asks you.

“Well, we haven’t have much time together lately, that’s all” you explain.

“I can’t believe it” he mumbles to himself, but you manage to hear him.

“What’s your problem?”

“It’s just that we were having a really good time together, and now you’re leaving me for him at the first chance you get” he complains.

“Don’t get mad, it’s just that he’s my boyfr-“ you try to explain again, but he doesn’t let you finish.

“Yeah, your boyfriend, I don’t need a reminder”

“Why are you acting like this?”

“I don’t know if you noticed but I’ve been rejecting every girl who came here asking for me because I wanted to spend time with you, I was actually having a good time. But its fine, I guess you always prefer him over me” he says angrily.

“What the fuck are you talking about ‘him over you’? And I didn’t ask you to reject any of them, go and fuck them in the bathroom for all I care, don’t let me stop you!” you meet his tone.

“You don’t have to stop me because I’m not the one leaving you to go fuck”

“He’s my boyfriend and these are just one night stands that you don’t even care enough to learn their names!” you can’t believe the comparison.

“I know he’s your fucking boyfriend! I don’t need you to remind me that every minute”

“So what do you want from me?!” you shout. Patience already lost when he started arguing again.

“To stay with me for once! To pick me over him for once! Even if it’s just to talk and drink together!”

“To pick…? Eddie I can’t do this right now, he’s probably at the door already” you say and leave. He watches as you were closing the door, if he ran he could probably stop you and apologize for his ways, maybe even convince you to stay. But he didn’t, just as you didn’t stay with him. You left. Picking Rudy over him once again.

You try to ignore Eddie as much as you can ignore someone who’s in a band with you. Which was obviously not much. You had to see him in some talks you had with your manager this week about the new album. You avoided his eyes that so badly wanted to meet yours. Made sure that you arrived somewhat late so you didn’t risk being just the two of you waiting for everyone else to arrive. Talk about the things you needed to discuss, and then leave with Jeff so he could drive you home. So yeah, not more than hi’s and bye’s between you two.

Except on Friday.

“Okay, if that’s all for today, I should get going” Jeff announced. “You coming with me?” he asked you and you nod, getting up with him.

“Bye guys, see you next week” you finally say and walk out of the studio. But when you get outside, you hear someone calling your name just to turn around and meet Eddie.

“Hey, wait. Can we umm, talk for just a second?”

You turn around hesitantly to meet Jeff’s gaze and he nods to then walk to his car to give you two some privacy.

“Listen, what I said the other night, umm. I’m not gonna lie now and tell you that it wasn’t true or that I was just drunk. I want to apologize for how I said everything” he confesses.

“Eddie… I said it the other night already. I can’t do this, whether you like him or not, I’m with Rudy and I love him” you say looking down or anywhere else but him. You couldn’t do it, you can’t believe he was making you do this, this will change everything between you two. Your whole dynamic.

If he notices how uncomfortable you are, he doesn’t say anything and lets you walk away to Jeff’s car.

That weekend you don’t see the boys at all. Just stayed home working on some more songs. On Monday you are decided to go to the studio confidently, not really wanting the dynamic between you and Eddie change since that would affect the whole band.

You show the guys two new songs that needed some changes but had some potential. Eddie shows one of his songs too, but as he says it’s finished, you work on yours.

After a few hours of working on finishing the lyrics to your songs, you move to Eddie’s which was apparently ready and approved by the guys. You didn’t have much time to read it all when they were telling you to get inside the booth and listen to the demo.

You get in the booth, the instrumental starts from your headphones and you listen to Eddie’s demo on the song while reading the lyrics.

So this is where we are. I should've seen it coming. Every time we say goodbye, I say hello again […]

I cried in your dark brown eyes for the thousandth time 'Cause you love somebody. I died when you left that night for the thousandth time 'Cause you love somebody else

I tried to stop the door as it was closing, it was closing

Can't help the way I keep ignoring every omen, every omen

Heaven knows I should let go. It's nothing that I don't already know […]

We go 'round again, we jump back in bed. That's what you do when you love somebody. These bad omens, I look right through them. That's what you do when you love somebody

Your mouth was opened in surprise. Your mind going ten miles per hour. Your heart stopped. This couldn’t be about you. He wouldn’t. But how can you be sure?

“Jeff, give me five minutes, I need to ask Eddie something first” You get out of the booth and you see his scared eyes as if he was caught. You walk to another room and he follows you.

“Eddie? What is this new song?” you ask without thinking much. That was definitely not the best way. You notice your thoughts were true the moment you see his face and he stands there quiet. “Is this about me?”

“I can explain-“

“No, I think this explains it very well already” you refer to the paper in your hand.

“I just wrote what I was feeling and thinking this weekend. I just let it all out” he tries to excuse himself.

“And were you really expecting us to put it in the album?!”

“It’s a good song! It’s emotional and-“

“And it screams our name!” You don’t let him finish. “What do you think it’s going to be the reaction when Rudy hears this?! Do you think he’s not gonna notice?!”

“Do want my honest opinion? I don’t care!” he freaks out too. “I hated him ever since he started flirting with you that night, and I kept hating him every time he would kiss you, or complement you telling you how hot you look or how amazing your voice is, because I want to do those things! You can hate me all you want, but that song is how I feel and it’s the truth”

“And do you really expect me to sing this song about me?! Are you really gonna make me record it and then sing it in front of thousands of people as if the lyrics are not about me?!” you really cannot believe him right now.

“How about ‘Older’?” he asks out of nowhere.

“What?” you ask angrily.

“Tell me that song is not about me and we forget about my song” he challenges you.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Tell me that song is about him and I’ll forget about this one”

You stay quiet. You could just lie to him but you fear he’s gonna see right through you. Apparently you take too much time debating whether to lie to him or not, that he’s already been confirmed.

He walks over to you and tries something that his mind was screaming him to do, praying that you don’t slap him in the face. He walks to you, grabs your face in his hands and kisses you like he’s been waiting to. Like he wanted to do every time you sing together on stage, when you sing into the same mic, when you sing the lyrics to each other, when you get out of stage feeling all that adrenaline but he can’t because you go running to your boyfriend.

He thanks all of the Gods he’s never believed in when you slowly put your hands on his hair and melt into the kiss. He’s never liked when people touch his hair, but with you he’ll even let you shave it off if you want.

The kiss slowly brakes but you stay as close to each other, still holding each other for the next few minutes until he can’t take it anymore and asks what’s on his mind.

 “Why did you write it?” he whispers. “You lied to me when you said you loved him?”

“No, I do love him… but, it’s different than the love I feel for you” his heart brakes a little.

“Who do you love more?”

“I don’t know” you finally respond.

You decide to record the song. It was still painful, but when your manager heard it he told you that it should also be a single, it was going to be a hit. You thought that maybe it was for a reason.

When you could get a hold of your boyfriend, you asked him to meet you at your house. You came clear, told him about the kiss and your mixed feelings. You can’t even start to explain the pain it caused you to be the one breaking his heart like this. But you couldn’t love him the way it was needed, not while you still had Eddie. He obviously broke up with you, very sad and angry. You cried for weeks.

Things with Eddie weren’t better. You did love him more, you knew that. But you needed time to forget about Rudy before even deciding what to do with Eddie. There were still a lot of cons that made you doubt about your relationship, like being in the same band as him, for starters.

He helped you through your break up and held you when you cried for Rudy. He even helped you write a song for him. It wasn’t a song asking for a second chance or anything like that. Just saying sorry and hoping that he would ever be able to forgive you for this. You did love him in the end, just not enough.

When the album was finished months later, it was a success. Luckily though, could you imagine going through all of this just for the album to suck?

After that you announced a world tour.

“Just breath, here, have some water” your manager tried to help your nerves before going on stage for the opening show of the tour.

“I need Eddie, call him!” you managed to say.

“Okay! Okay!” he ran looking for him and then you saw someone running back to you.

“I’m here, sweetheart” now it was your turn to run to him, hugging him thigh around his waist, he wrapped his arms around your neck and back protecting you. You could breathe again.

After a few minutes he made sure you were calmed and then asked you what happened.

“Just… It’s an important album for me, I don’t know if I can sing all those songs as if they didn’t have meaning, I don’t know if I’m ready yet” you explained with your breaking voice, tears in your eyes waiting to fall down.

“Listen, you’re gonna be amazing just like you always are, a fucking rockstar if I ever saw one. I know how meaningful these songs are, but remember I’m right there next to you singing too, just come grab my hand if it gets too much. But we’ve rehearsed, and you did fucking great as ever!”

“But he’s probably gonna see this, or, or people are gonna see if it gets too much and I start crying or have a fucking breakdown”

“You’re not gonna have a breakdown, sweetheart. I’ll be right there next to you, if it gets too much just make a sign and I’ll finish the song, it’s not gonna be as great cause I don’t have the amazing voice that you do, but I’ll manage” he jokes.

“Yes, you do! I’m so in love with your voice!” you correct him.

“You are?” you nod. “Then just listen to me, if it starts getting too much, just focus on my voice, on my face, on me, only on me”

You nod again, feeling better. “I love you so much” you say.

“I love you more” and before you tell him that’s not true, he kisses you, a kiss that makes you forget about everything, even that you have to out on stage in two minutes.

“Hey, lovebirds! You have to go out and play now, continue the flirting up there!” your manager yells.

[blue-jisungs]

good girls

a/n. i’m so sorry this is so cringe i wanted to stick to the lyrics and it seemed way more cooler in my head forgive me 🙏🙏🙏 hopefully the next ones will won’t be as goofy as this one (spoiler: they will be more angsty for sure😍)

this is a part of my 5k followers event! check it out if you’re curious about what’s 5sos doin’ here :]

warnings. goofy aah cringey bad girl stereotype 😍

kai isn’t a bad boy. in fact, many would say he’s not even near being a bad boy. he loves his plushies and everything that’s cute, he’s often the sweetest when it comes to strangers and even his friends. not only that, he’s also a very good and hardworking student.

the same applies to you. you were an excellent student, always willing to help and smiling wildly at strangers. your aura - similar to kai - was pure and soft, angelic even. that was what caused him to finally gain some courage and talk to you.

“kai…?” you hummed, gently putting your french textbook into a locker. the tall boy looked at you lovingly. you were dating for about two months now and he still couldn’t believe how beautiful you are.

“hmm?” he asked, catching a glimpse of his friends in the background. beomgyu wrapped arms around himself and pretended to make out, causing soobin to smack him.

“are you free tonight?” you asked, looking last time at the cute molang plushie in your locker that was gifted by him.

“i am. but aren’t you gonna study?” kai frowned, eyes shifting back at you. there was an important exam approaching so it was natural that you wouldn’t be able to hang out… or so he thought.

“i’ll meet you at your place, around 8pm. is that fine with you?” with a gentle thud of the locker door shutting left him speechless. that was something… new. you grinned upon his soft nod, poking his chest “great. see you later then, i have math now!”

honestly, he thought you were joking. or testing him. nevertheless, he kept looking outside his window when the clock struck 8pm.

then he sees you. almost like a puppy, he runs downstairs to open the door. it’s not like he can’t have you over (his parents are actually looking forward to see you) but he’d never hear the end of it if bahiyyih or lea had opened the door.

“hi” you breathed out once he opened the door. before he could say anything you showed him a pack of his favourite snacks “movie night?”

“i– sure, of course!” kai nodded. after he invited you to his room, he started looking for his laptop and you were comfortably laying on his bed, admiring the room.

“so, what do you want to watch?” he asked and a wide smile formed on his lips once he saw you playing with his plushies.

“it’s up to you. if you want we can watch anime…? i heard soobin talking about some new releases” you looked at him, frozen “what?”

“nothing. also… is this fine? like, with your parents?” he asked, sitting down next to you.

“mhm. they think i’m at sleepover. at bahiyyih’s… which is technically true” you flashed your pearly whites in a toothy grin, leaving kai speechless. you pinched his cheek and shoved one of the plushies at his face “this one looks like you, by the way–”

“i know, that’s why i got it” he laughed, brushing off what just happened.

he thought it will be just a one time thing. but once, when you were invited to yeonjun’s party (which, by the way, surprised them all when you said you’ll come) kai promised to pick you up.

what he did not expect though was to see you sneaking out… the window.

“what are you–?!” kai whisper-yelled but it seemed you have perfected this way of coming down.

as your feet met the ground, he ran up to you and grabbed your shoulders.

“are you alright?” he asked. you cupped his cheeks, placing a kiss on his lips.

“you’re so cute when you worry about me like that. i’m fine. now let’s go. we have to be back before 7am though” you hummed, grabbing his hand.

“but–“

“they think i’m already asleep after my hard study session” you looked at him through your arm, sending him a smirk that made his knees weak “i’m a good girl, after all”

“guys, have you seen y/n?” kai asked, approaching his friends during the break.

“oh you mean the straight A-student?” beomgyu teased “she’s probably in the library”

“she basically lives there” yeonjun snickered

“besides, she always tells us that’s where we can find her so… think, kai, think. you’re her boyfriend, you should know this” taehyun giggled “also, are you coming tonight?”

“please don’t make fun of her. and what?” kai frowned

“we were supposed to play the new game soobin bought” taehyun explained

“oh, sure! find me later, i’ll go with you!” he hummed and walked away to find you.

as expected, you were there. he struggled a bit finding you since you were at the back of the room, basically cut off from others.

“hi baby! you’re just in time!” you gasped upon seeing him, standing up from your seat.

“oh yeah? why is that? were you perhaps thinking about me…?” kai whispered and kissed your cheek. you nodded, grabbing his hand.

“you caught me. will you help me take one book from the shelf though? you’re taller, you’ll reach it” you hummed and led him behind the last bookcase.

“which one?” he asked – or was about to – when you crushed your lips on him.

kai was taken aback but not surprised. lately you were starting to get more confident, that’s what he thought at first. but the truth was that it’s your nature. you’re just acting square (as his friends would say) in front of everyone but with kai, you’re yourself.

since he was busy right now, his hands wrapping around your waist, he didn’t hear the approaching footsteps.

you pulled away for a second just to catch your breath but kai kissed you again, loving the taste of your peach lipgloss.

“shut your goofy ass, they are not here–“

“OH MY GOD! MY EYES–!”

you jumped, startled by beomgyu’s voice. soobin started apologising for his friend making noise, the rest of them just looking at you wide eyed.

kai smiled smugly, wrapping an arm around you.

“i thought… what… you’re such a good student and… and…” yeonjun stuttered, shocked as if he just found out that his hamster died.

“well, forget what you thought” you smiled sweetly, wiping the smudged lipgloss and looked at kai, humming quietly so only kai could hear you “‘cause good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught"

“so that’s why our kai started to seem corrupted… good job, y/n!” taehyun sent you thumbs up, realising.

your boyfriend winked at you, putting his hand at the small of your back and led you to the table, helping you get pack your books.

txt masterlist | event masterlist

taglist.  @geniejunn ,, @luvhyun3 ,, @starlostseungmin ,, @elviransworld ,, @jnks6r ,, @sieunsgf ,, @ethereallino ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @duolingofanaccount ,, @slytherinshua ,, @stxrseungs ,, @ka-ni-ma ,, @iliveforlixie ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @mark-geolli ,, @l3visbby ,, @w3bqrl ,, @ddeonudepressions ,, @yourfavoritefreakyhan ,, @mirxzii ,, @kazmura ,, @primoppang

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "What are your dreams trying to tell you"

take a breath and choose the photo/number that calls you the most to read a brief description of what you may be dreaming and what signs may be behind those dreams

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3 4

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pile 1

Your dreams may be trying to suggest you to take a different look on what is going on. To take a pause and reflect. If you've been feeling kinda alone, don't worry, your friends and soul family will come soon. Things will change, it feels like you're gonna get back what you gave away for so long. Love, support, appreciation... you're gonna be at the center of the scene for them. But as for now, your dreams may suggest you that you probably need to heal (or better, to be aware and start working on -you know, we don't have to be entirely healed to experience something, to have a relationships of any type, and so on: healing may even take a lifetime, but we don't have to stay alone. Being aware, being open, willing to work on ourselves is more than enough to make us ready to experience healthy connections) some part of you in order to be more open and welcoming, ready to receieve the blessing that are in store for you and that you've been trying to manifest for so long. Some of your dreams may be about people or experiences you had in your past/childhood days (friends, classmates, teachers, school, travels you had done, your family members... you name it). There are some signs for you there to find out, that your unconscious mind wants you to think about, to understand, so to get a different level of awareness about your present and conscious life. You may be dreaming of triggers you get into your present life too. Now don't get overwhelmed by thinking about what it is that you need to realize or understand and if you're getting it right or not: try to meditate or just wait for another dream that may suggest you something else. You aren't running out of time, it's fine. You are perfectly on time, it's all like *chef kiss*.

songs: nothing else matters | metallica; teeth | 5sos

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pile 2

I think your dreams may (have) come unexpectedly to you, to suggest you that you're on the right road and that things are gonna improve for you. Your dreams may want to provide you happiness, positivity, support, and healing; they feel like a safe place, a safe, soft escape, from your reality that may not be really amazing at this very moment. But I think the purpose of these dreams is not just to provide comfort but also to help you keep the faith and hope: things can change and will. The confusion and uncomfortability you may be experiencing now, will move on to a clearer and more controlled emotion. I feel like those dreams want to suggest you you're being prepared and made stronger for something better. For a change. For a great happiness and even love (for some). Whatever it is the situation you're into at the moment, you'll find your balance, you'll get out of this stressing and overthinking period, of this emotional overflowing. You may not see it in your waking days, but you're growing, going to succeed and make this pain end. Ofc I understand if you feel like you would have been better without passing through all this, but I think the message is that it was somewhat needed by your soul. And that you shouldn't worry about your future. You're going where you're supposed to be, and growing into the person you're willing (and supposed) to be. These type of dreams seem to be messages from your Guides and ancestors, in particular your Guardian Angel or your inner child, or maybe also someone who was dear to you in your 3d life but you may not connect with too often (either cause they're not in the 3d anymore or you just parted ways). For others, it could be your soulmate (esp. romantic). You're going to be more aware of what is going on around you. (Some connections with pile 3, if you need to you can take a look)

songs: loving you girl | peder elias, hkeem; just the two of us | grover washington, jr

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pile 3

Your dreams may be a sign of how you're working and rebuilding yourself. In particular, emotionally. Or that you need to do that. After a time in which things have been unclear, you're finding your way out. (Some connections with pile 2, if you need to you can take a look). You're finding your space, your journey, you're literally stretching out and learning how to occupy your own (due) space, the space of your body with your soul, and appreciating that. You're filling your own skin. It feels soo good tbh. You're learning how to differentiate what to give attention to and what not, how to balance your fears and your happiness, how to be bold and strong mentally. How to take control of your emotions, yes. It feels like you may have fears related to being alone or not succeeding in your studies/career, the message is to understand why you have these type of fears and try to sort them out (even with the help of someone you trust or a professional). The moment you'll free yourself, and see that this is only a type of self sabotage going on unconsciously inside of you, you'll be able to really see and give yourself the permission to get and receive according to the amazing soul you are. A huge breakthrough is going to happen. I think your dreams may suggest you about this too. They also want to remind you that you have all you need to succeed: you only need to learn to use that in your favour, to reach your goals. Also, you may want to rely more on your feminine energy and be more welcoming of external help or guidance (even from your Guides: I think you're getting hints about people coming in for you, that will help you: "do not close the door"). For some, you may get help/guidance from a feminine energy in particular. And also, speak more of your words. Don't fear expressing your opinions and ideas, be you. As much as you can. Liberate yourself from your own cage. Be more relaxed and again, more welcoming and positive. More into (and in tune with) your beautiful self. "Don't be so serious".

songs: if you love me | brownstone; arcade (eurovision 2019) | arcade player

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pile 4

Huge adventure spoiler-alert in your dreams. You may be traveling (by boat or plane) somewhere you have always dreamt of. Or if you simply wanted to travel, that's your confirmation. I think your dreams want to tell you you'll be experiencing something huge and different from the usual, something you subconsciously crave for or have been craving for for a long time. I feel like an explosion, very emotional (or emotions will be highly connected to this). It could even be your heart chakra exploding (so it may be related to love and relationships for some of you). If you have been in the dark, you're gonna see the light ("light at the end of the tunnel"). It's gonna be more comfortable than what you've been experiencing lately. I feel comfortable, cuddly... the cloud in your pic reminds me of cotton candy. You may be trying something you have never tried, and you're gonna love it. It feels like you won't be totally alone, like someone will guide you through (not just your Guides). You may be taking some risks, feels like you're going to be braver, make an important decision too. Feels like you will be manifesting some of your wishes, like being abundant and happy, probably a relationship too (for some again). And the end of your worries. It also feels like you will see yourself in a different light, you'll allow yourself to make more mistakes, to experience more of this life, you'll let go of what you cannot control and trust more. You'll see your worth (some of you may have already started). Your dreams (your Guides through your dreams) want to tell you that things will go better than you will ever imagine. For some it will be happen in winter, others may be born in winter (confirmation). You may be a little confused atm, probably dunno where exactly to head for but don't worry, it'll get clearer soon.

songs: winter blossom | dept, ashley alisha, nobody likes you pat; unplayed piano (instrumental) | damien rice, lisa hannigan

[cloama]

MMATA covered the song from Freaky Friday on their new album. It's cute. The lead, Edith Victoria always has lots of personality but she needs some harmony help in these verses. Why we gotta wait for the chorus to get harmony? ETA: Iwas listening to this on headphones that were about to die. The quality was terrible. This song sounds great upon a second listen. I heard lots of background work. Sorry, babes.

The whole album is really fun and cute. It is full of breakup songs. Wasn't expecting that.

Love the bridge of Say it(to my face). She sounds like a punky lil angel there. It's also fun to see them get back at haters with an undeniable hit song.

The chorus of Kool is so chaotic. Why are you saying it like that?????? But the song with its very obvious Brainstew influence is just fun. They're wild for that one. Also Edith showing yall that she actually a mf vocalist. Bc that chorus be taking my lungs out. Yes, by the end I was singing it too. Very fun. Very silly.

Tea plays her ass off but I'm not hearing the shredding as much in this project. She's really restrained here but the parts shes writing a good. So solid. I kind of want her to compose for others. Similarly, Ava's feet aren't as heavy on the pedals this go round. It seems they've made a choice. It's fine. They get to do that. But choosing to leave that calling card off an album that's 50% breakup songs is a choice. Tea used to be fucking it up in the background. Just shredding her way through the verses which worked because there aren't a lot of bg vocals. Not singing backup as strongly, her playing made up for that. I miss it. I also miss Ava's heavy ass drumming. It's all really different on here. I need to find some interviews about this project. Need to know what went into these choices. I still really like what theyre doing. Young adult audiences should be in love with them.

After all that fun up top the albums takes TMI and Same Language into what I call the Frustration Break. A couple songs about mfs working on your nerves. They're cute songs but feel like a lull. It works because the choruses are so good and you feel relieved by the end of that chunk of songs. Also a-capella handclap breaks are my weakness.

A Few Tomorrows is the bittersweet midtempo song about how it's not goodbye, only a "see you later" which is placed in the right order because literally the rest of the album after this track is backloaded with breakup up songs.

Need Me(my favorite track of this album) is an upbeat breakup bop. Cute. MMATA has a gift for making songs you want to sing along to. Lyrics tho. The simplicity is good but I've seen the pen push harder.

This is where I noticed their hardcore influence is not present at all in this album. Poof. Gone. Aww.

It's Over for Me is another breakup song. Track sequencing is winning big. Love when songs are in correct order. This track is not as strong as Need Me. I would have left this one off the project.

Thx for Nothing is the last breakup bop in this chunk of songs. This girl is going through it. Very 5sos. I say this as a 34 year old who barely knows what a 5sos is. Oh and that main guitar part sounds like what i can only describe as family reunion music. Real ones know.

Rocket science is another optimistic bop taking us to the end of this album but the song is full of phrases from those Hang In There posters. It's cute. It's giving Disney Knees. Edith who usually enunciates to a fault just stops doing that. "Everything is possible" turns into "ennythahggihhhpohhhiiiubbboool" and I cant state enough that I loved that. The Gerard of it all.

King of Everything: lament about life being so unnecessarily hard and wanting a do-over. Hard relate. Don't love the melody as much as the others. Not a happy ending to the album but a resolution for sure. I think the last two songs should have been switched but they said what they said.

3.5 out of 5 stars to Meet Me @ the Altar for their sophomore long playing album. The sequencing of tracks is so strong. A lost art these days. The tracks work together to take your through a bunch of highs and lows then sticks the landing with that final track. The album is good at exactly what it set out to do. That's all I ask. Miss that hard playing tho. I'm sure the live shows will fill that gap.

[tirednotflirting]

I posted 3,022 times in 2022

303 posts created (10%)

2,719 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@caramelcalum

@daydadahlias

@burstingsunrise

@calumsash

@pxrxmoore

I tagged 2,615 of my posts in 2022

Only 13% of my posts had no tags

#l - 335 posts

#5sos - 205 posts

#a - 168 posts

#c - 126 posts

#h - 97 posts

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#lashton - 30 posts

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Longest Tag: 140 characters

#y’all ever have something you reference all the time around people you only ever remember have no idea what you’re talking about until after

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hi look at him

thank you

46 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

#4

a fic rec list that quite literally no one asked for

I’ve felt incredibly uninspired lately with fic. It’s a shit feeling. I may just be done writing. TBD. But as I’ve been sitting around trying to determine my feelings on fic, I’ve found myself thinking a lot about how I read fic. I’ve been reading it for awhile. I like to think that even in the 5SOS space, I’ve read a really good variety of things. So I wanted to make note of the fics that come to mind when I think of fics that have inspired me/made me feel something/are just really good. This probably will not be very organized and I apologize for that now. 

I’ve been very VERY lucky to get to know a few of the folks whose works I mention here. I feel so grateful to have had even small glimpses into your creative processes. Just before the world Stopped a couple years ago, I was shuffling toward a mindset of writing off fan fiction as a thing of my younger years and I’m thankful that so many people metaphorically hit me over the head with their incredible works. 

there’s some 1D, 5SOS, Shawn Mendes, and also solo 1D boys in here. i think a lot of them are at least a touch nsfw at points but not all of them? yeah. i think everything that is is noted of on the pages they link to? certainly not an exhaustive list of my favorites but these were the ones on my mind today.

Okay, in probably a really strange, completely non-linear order, here we go.

sugar on the asphalt by @justanchorandhope

I genuinely cannot even begin to describe the love in my heart for this fic. this is the fic (and writer tbh) that kept me around on tumblr in 2013 and is the perfect example of everything i loved about 1D fic back in the day. an OC to die for, the perfect dash of so many different tropes, CUPCAKES, southern charm, it has it all. just the sweetest cast of characters. i cannot believe i was 15 when this fic was first posted and now i’m 24 and re-reading this still feels like a curling up with a cup of tea at the end of a long day.

okay basically everything written by @harryandmolly but specifically the following:

like the back of my hand + fear and loathing in mandeville canyon

okay so fun fact i was so thrown off the first time i read the first fic listed there (the second one listed is a sorta AU of the first one taking place in early pandemic/lockdown times btw) bc the OC’s bff uses the exact same nickname i used in high school. okay but Lilly is a GOD TIER OC. i love a story that takes place over a really long period of time + really shows the progression of a relationship. also super random but as a woman in my mid-20s with crazy unrealistic dreams of living in a big gorgeous house with all my friends, the descriptions of the house Lilly lives in make my heart sing. for a story that takes place in a totally normal version of the world, the world building (maybe the wrong term here idk) in this is so great.

i could write it better than you ever felt it

three words: warped tour au. no but seriously there’s this blanket of nostalgia over this whole fic bc of the setting that is so fucking fun (she says having never gone to warped tour but shhhhh). another bright and brilliant OC, SO many lovable side characters, really driving plot. reading this feels like summer in all the best ways. (+ a brilliant sequel of sorts.) perfectly captures silly punk boys + hayley williams is there just being the goddess that she is. my introduction to jasey rae lol. so many things and all of them so great.

the emancipation of ginny

got momentarily distracted reading the teaser sorry i’m back now. ginny: bad ass and gorgeous business woman lady navigating being the assistant for an international pop star who is also her ex. andrew gertler is so stressed the whole time. i like a story that jumps around in time and this one does it in such a unique way. the writing in this is STUNNING, i feel like i am in every scene feeling the misty fog in london and the sun in my eyes on a summer festival tour. a Masterpiece imo. also the niall in this is wonderful in all the ways he can be + taylor swift shows up for a minute.

perfect teeth by @stylesmoothie

why yes i am in fact linking you to MIBBA bc 1DFF was the only other place to really find this i think rip to our fallen hero and what a throwback adlskfjdsl. i am NOT joking when i say that i literally cried when people started reblogging around the final update for this a few years back bc it had been like 5 years since this fic was updated. this fic holds such a special place in heart (as so many 1D fics from this era do). ezra is a brilliant OC and her story is SO GREAT. something i loved about ~this era~ of 1D fic was how expansive the backstories for the OCs were and ezra’s especially just made me fall in love with her. i remember that reading the conclusion to this story (so many years after starting it) felt like this beautiful sense of closure. i had very few constants in my later teenage years but stories like this one were one of them. love love love this story.

(took a brief pause so anna and i could hunt down an old zayn fic from back in the day slkdfjlds leesh came to our rescue bless her)

nom de plume by @stylesprimes

another fic that truly feels like it just? defined an era of my life???? (just had to do some internet wizardry to verify this was a 2014 fic lol) another OC with just the most sick backstory and story told throughout the fic. in this era of fic i was a HUGE fan of the harry styles london indie crew kinda fic. could not tell you why aside from how fucking cool i thought alexa chung was. you really get to see everyone make mistakes and grow in this story which i really admire from both a reader and a writer standpoint. like that’s not easy to do sdlfkjdsl. i love all the twists and turns and it’s a story i love returning to every once in awhile. cecilia’s experiences in this are so so unique and i’ve never really read anything quite like this story. the dynamic between the characters and just the overall vibe of ndp has always been so novel. i love it.

scene 14 by @daydadahlias

this FIC OH MY GOD. so backstory: i feel like i was the last person to read jess fic esp this one like. i was so intimidated by the fact that everyone had already read this and i had all of this knowledge of the vibe and how much everyone loved this that reading this almost felt like being introduced to a friend of a friend, ya know? this fic is Stunning. like i didn’t think it would be possible to be so impressed by college au world building at this point in my life (i’ve been reading college AUs for like. literally over a decade) but this little world that jess created was SO immersive. these characters were all so bright and i loved and cared for each and every one of them despite how many there were. i laughed, i cried. reading this reminded me why i love fan fiction and i feel so SO grateful to be in this fic space at the same time as jess.

love would burn this city down for you by @calumcest

helen has shared so many amazing stories but this one is always going to be my favorite. there’s so much soul and heart and love in this short little piece. i barely have the words for it. i started writing myself bc i felt inspired by the space that helen was helping to create a couple years ago and it’s pieces like this that i think had a lot of influence on the style i would try to adopt in certain ways. she’s so great at showing love in the little, quiet ways. pieces like this one feel like a secret and i’m so thankful i get to be in on it.

another night of takeout by @roselirry

lol i’ve had the second part of this bookmarked on my computer for MANY years and just realized there was a third part to it i had never read. this is a niall fic, little slices of three different days from the perspective of Vee, niall’s assistant in a solo era world. reminds me of a lot of the reasons i love the emancipation of ginny. one of my favorite tropes, a bit of that ‘omg they’re so in love but just refuse to really fully acknowledge it’ kinda situation. only three little bits in this but through the bits of background you get such a FULL story (despite the fact that it’s technically not finished i think?). SUCH a comfort read, i’ve read this so many times that it feels like a cozy, worn cardigan. (also i’ve historically been SUPER picky with my niall fic and this one has really stood the test of time for me)

all the things yet to come by soysauceharry

so i’ve never been a big self insert fic kinda girl. i think i just started out with OC fic so it was just this foreign thing to me for so long. i’m also a very big character person so when a character is really vague for the purpose to trying to be easy to fit a variety of looks and/or personalities into, i struggle to find enjoyment in it at times. but jesus christ, this story is cool. for me, reading this story gives the vibe of like a dream where you’re watching yourself do something? so despite the fact that it’s written in the second person, i don’t feel like i’m watching the story from the eyes of the OC. also despite all of the ‘you’s i just have never read this as a true self insert. i have an MC in my head that is very much a unique character. MC is a graduate psych student, Harry is her graduate advisor for a min and then later just a colleague. follows MC through her graduate studies. the setting and the story are just so pretty and lifelike. i think i read this for the first time in the winter while i was still in school which added a lot to the vibe. i return to this whenever i want cozier vibes.

If you dance with me darling, if you take me home… Will we talk in the morning? by @kaleidoscopeminds

i love a meg fic for so so many reasons. i love this one especially bc the tone of it to me feels like how you tell the story of a fun night out. it feels fun and silly like the stories you tell the night after the night out about all the wild shit you did in the early hours of that same day. i’ve always been very fond of this fic because meg posted it when i was feeling very VERY down about the world and it just made me smile. this fic feels like laughs after shots idk how to describe it just good fun. she is the cake QUEEN but i always found so much inspo in her earlier lashton pieces. they remind me of all the good things about summer 2020. i’m glad they can still take me back to those times of first getting to know some of the folks that i just love so dearly now (baggy salt forever <3)

sail the wildest stretch by @beautifulletdownfics

See the full post

47 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

#3

hi i would like to discuss

thank you

119 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

#2

5sos playing the same fest as green day, good charlotte, and blink???? can someone check on those boys omg???

124 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i can’t believe ashton is the cutest dude on the planet and we just have to deal w that

227 notes - Posted October 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lavenderdameron]

Happy (belated) Valentine's Day! It's finally time for my Valentunes 2023 playlist for @itsthedamnseason 💗

I'm sorry this took so long, I had it planned ahead of time but then I was not online to post this timely!

I did a lot of blog stalking after I sent that ask about your favorites! First, I decided to name the playlist after a mashup of our usernames, so I landed on Lavender Season! I kept the playlist name in the back of my mind while coming up with a theme for the songs. One thing I noticed in some of the Taylor songs you mentioned liking was a mini recurring theme of flowers! So, based on that I set out to make a playlist of Taylor, 5SOS, pop, and country songs that mention flowers, a specific type of flower, or anything similar! I also added a few generally love/Valentine's Day-themed songs. Some of these songs are from my own favorites so I'm just guessing about whether you'll like them. Songs & explanations will be below the cut!

Lavender Season: A Valentunes Playlist

❤️ by Coldplay, We Are KING and Jacob Collier (aka Human Heart): "Oh my human heart/Night and day and light and dark/Any day it could be torn in half/Only got a human heart"

Back to December by Taylor Swift: "You gave me roses and I left them there to die"

Black and White by Niall Horan: "Yeah, I see us in black and white/Crystal clear on a starlit night/In all your gorgeous colors/I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life"

Call It What You Want by Taylor Swift: "All my flowers grew back as thorns/Windows boarded up after the storm/He built a fire just to keep me warm"

cherry blossom by Kacey Musgraves: "Early April you walked up to me/Changing colors on city streets/Petals surrounding us in every shade of pink/We happened quickly as humans do/Summer was coming and change was too/Look at me now, I'm falling at your feet"

Clean by Taylor Swift: "The drought was the very worst/When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst"

Comfortable by Alessia Cara: "I'm used to loving slowly/But this time, you already know me/I hope you like all the broken parts"

Dandelion by Kacey Musgraves: "Falling stars and lucky pennies/Have let me down so many times before/And you're just one more/Oh, dandelion"

Defenceless by Louis Tomlinson: "And I'm too tired to be tough/Just wanna be loved by you"

Everything I Didn't Say by 5 Seconds of Summer: "Flowers I should've bought, all the hours I lost/Wish I could bring it back to the start"

Fireproof by One Direction: "'Cause nobody knows you, baby, the way I do/And nobody loves you, baby, the way I do/It's been so long, it's been so long, we must be fireproof"

Grapejuice by Harry Styles: "Yesterday, it finally came, a sunny afternoon/I was on my way to buy some flowers for you/Thought that we could hide away in a corner of the heath/There's never been someone who's so perfect for me"

The Great War by Taylor Swift: "We can plant a memory garden/Say a solemn prayer/Place a poppy in my hair/There's no morning glory/It was war, it wasn't fair"

Hearts Don't Break Around Here by Ed Sheeran: "Took my heart upon a one-way trip/Guess she went wandering off with it/Unlike most women I know/This one will bring it back whole/Daisies, daisies perched upon your forehead"

Lavender Haze by Taylor Swift: "Talk your talk and go viral/I just need this love spiral"

Maroon by Taylor Swift: "You were standing hollow-eyed in the hallway/Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us"

New Year's Day by Taylor Swift: "Don't read the last page/But I stay when you're lost, and I'm scared/And you're turning away"

Seeing Blind by Niall Horan and Maren Morris: "I was young, my heart was always on the run/But you make lovin' fun/I never knew it could be"

Slow Burn by Kacey Musgraves: "You know the bar down the street don't close for an hour/We should take a walk and look at all the flowers"

Sunflower, Vol. 6 by Harry Styles: "Your flowers just died/Plant new seeds in the melody/Let me inside, I wanna get to know you"

Sweet Creature by Harry Styles: "Sweet creature/Running through the garden, oh, where nothing bothered us"

Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift: "They said the end is coming/Everyone's up to something/I find myself running home to your/Sweet nothings"

Valentine by 5 Seconds of Summer: "Throw balloons, teddy bears and the chocolate eclairs away/Got nothing but love for you, fall more in love every day/Valentine"

Wildflower by 5 Seconds of Summer: "You're the only one who makes me/Every time we/Tell you what I like/My wildflower"

Your Love's Like by Sabrina Carpenter: "It's like flowers in the springtime/Every day is Valentine's/So good, it's hard to describe"

[la-appel-du-vide]

09•24•22 - Vegas Day 2

Every year we go to the iHeartRadio Daytime Stage, and every year we suffer haha. We forgot to bring our mini fans, so we Amazon Primed them to Lisa's the night before, and thank goodness for those. They save us.

We got to the festival a bit late, which kind of sucked because we were actually interested in the first performer - Lauren Spencer Smith. We had a hard time figuring out where to park, but decided to go back to Treasure Island and walk from there since that's what we did last year. It was a long, hot walk, and took longer than expected, which is why we were late. We could hear Lauren's last song from outside the gates, but that's not quite the same.

It was almost 100 degrees, and right off the bat we were dying. We really hate the Area 15 venue, because it's just an asphalt parking lot. It just reflects the heat back at you. There's hardly any shade, and nowhere to sit down. They need to find something more like Coachella, with grass and shade and all that.

But anyway, thank goodness for the little fans to blow on our sweat and cool us off. They were running on full blast nearly the whole time.

We stayed in the crowd for Ryan Hurd, Girl in Red (who reminded me so much of Heather Fuhr), Chloe, Avril Lavigne, Gayle, and Chase Rice before we took our first break, and it was a lot. We were sitting in the dirty parking lot between each set and getting disgusting haha, but our backs and feet needed a break.

Avril was literally the best thing ever. She sang so many of my favorites - Girlfriend, Bite Me, My Happy Ending, I'm With You, and Sk8er Boi. She had a killer punk princess outfit on, and sent big balloons off into the crowd. Her visuals were insane, and the whole thing was great. My 7-year old self would have been psyched. I only wish she'd done Complicated, and Love Sux. And maybe What the Hell. She has so many bangers. Now I want to go to a strictly Avril concert.

Gayle did her iconic ABCDEFU and Beach was thrilled.

During our break for a couple people that we didn't care to see, we got a cup of ice water, and found a patch of shade to sit in (albeit, still on the asphalt). It was so nice to have a break (although brayden was still complaining about the venue and he hated the asphalt hahah, it made us laugh).

Then we got back up for 5SOS, and they were SO GOOD as always. We've seen them at iHeart before, and they just bring the party. We saw Lauv, sat in the T-Mobile lounge (TURF!) during Latto, and then went back out for Willow - who looks just like her dad, and has such a powerful, strong voice. I was impressed.

Then we left before Big Time Rush came out, because we didn't care too much about them and we were tired, hot, and ready for dinner!

The walk back also felt SO LONG, but at least it had started to cool off.

We were so happy to be back to the car! We got dinner at Chili's, and it was life changing. I was so happy to wash my hands, and drink all kinds of beverages. And the food was so great. I love the relief of attending to basic needs after neglecting them all day.

Then we made a quick stop at the outlets, so I could get a new Kate Spade bag - that's the only place I ever want to get them since they're so much cheaper. They were on a great sale, and I'm so happy with it. We also found a dress for Beach to wear to brunch while we were shopping, so that was good.

Then we stopped to get drinks before going home to take such amazing showers, play pool, and get some much needed sleep!!

[justmeinatree]

honestly going back home is great for me because it means i don't have to pay rent or anything 🤷‍♀️ my parents basically said as long as i have a job, i can stay as long as i need. so i'll be able to pay off my loans faster because i'm saving a lot of money on rent and extra expenses. i also get along with my family really well so living with them isn't bad at all!

i'm so glad you like the fic!! it's my favorite fic of all time so i was very nervous when i recommended it 😅 fair warning that i will be in your dms begging to hear all your thoughts on the story when you're not busy 👀

the cleaning went well and the packing is pretty much all done so now we just pray it all fits into the car. and the reading is going great...already finished rereading the fic i sent you because i had nothing better to do, so now i'm reading another work by that author that i haven't already read before. overall the weekend has been good, if not a little boring lol. sorry yours has been busy but i hope it's at least been a good kind of busy 🫶

-🤘

that’s amazing !! i’m still so amazed at how much you get on with your family, i really do love that for you ! and having the opportunity to save up money and get yourself on your feet like that will be so worth it in the end. something you’ll forever be grateful for i’m sure 😄

YOU rockstar have ruined every single other fic on the planet 😂 like WHAT was that !? omg omgomgggfgg i can’t get over it seriously. i’m taking a deep dive into that writer because there’s a lot on the profile and there’s gotta be so many other gems in there 😂 but waaaahh when niall starts calling the new place home 🥺 why do i wanna go live there now ? also, the warmth in my tummy at having a fic where the 1d boys & the 5sos boys are all intermingling is such a weird comfort thing from back then, forgot how much i loved their interactions !

do you have anything more to rec from that writer then ? 👀😂 i’m glad to hear your stuff is going well though ! that everything’s ready to go for your move. are you a little sad to say goodbye to your current place ?

[factsmains]

Spongegar meme creator

UPDATE: It has come to our attention that the history of “tea lizard” is a bit more complicated than previously thought.Ībout six months before GMA’s tweet, Twitter user tweeted a joke about “tea lizard.” He, and many of his followers, tweeted jokes about “tea lizard.” The joke didn’t exactly reach meme proportions, largely staying within his followers. Naturally, the good folks of the internet had a field day of calling out GMA - mainly for not knowing who the fuck Kermit is, but also for apparently THINKING. Or as ready as I’d ever be.The Kermit "but that's none of my business" meme has been around since at least 2014, but it got new life in June when Good Morning America mistakenly (and hilariously) referred to him as "tea lizard." After listening to their setlist a couple of times, I decided on a few favorites: “Red Desert”, “Teeth”, “Disconnected”, and “BLENDER”. They have some pretty popular songs, like “She Looks So Perfect” or “Youngblood”, but in my opinion, some of their better songs are less well-known. Luke is the vocalist, Michael is the guitarist, Calum is the bassist, and Ashton is the drummer. For those who don’t know, 5 Seconds of Summer (5SOS) is a 4 person band. I quickly learned that 5SOS is pretty great, especially their music. I didn’t want to go and not know any songs whatsoever. Throughout the weeks leading up to the concert I was busy studying their music. It was an incredibly impromptu decision, but honestly? That made it so much better. My friend, the one who convinced me to go with her, she asked me to go about two weeks before the actual concert. For example, I’d only ever heard a few 5SOS songs before I hadn’t been listening to them for a year, much less a decade. Some things were more accurate than others. Tuesday, we planned on going to the Grand Canyon extremely early, which meant taking it easy for the rest of the day so we could handle getting up. The rest of the day was mostly dedicated to wandering around downtown yet again. Carolyn, her roommate, Molly, and I all went out for coffee and stopped by Fractured Prune for some of the most delicious donuts. Dutch Bros Coffee, which I had never been to, was donating all profits towards the Second Chance animal shelter. Monday started, as did most of our days, with a stop for our caffeine fix. It was so hot and bright out but it was still cool to get to see, even with all the little tourist shops. Since it was still pretty early in the day, we decided to go to Sedona, where we had planned to go, but didn't have time to, when I was here in January. It's located in the mountains, all the restaurants we visited were good, and there were lots of places to amble. It doesn't take long to fall in love with Flagstaff, at least for me. Our second day, we went to downtown Flagstaff and wandered around all of the stores. The handle jiggles and you are mid SpongeGar stance unsure if you say something, stand there, get dressed or block the door. You are mid change and suddenly someone is standing outside of your dressing room. You hear the storming footsteps coming for you and you realize you never found your floor. Parent told you "a hurricane" came through your room and you need to clean it. Yet again you are binging on Netflix or video games. Could they be your partner for the rest of the semester? Could they drag you down for this assignment? 16. Professor says "Find a partner." This becomes life or death. You are new in class, haven't scoped out a potential friend around you yet or haven't seen a familiar face. "I'll do them after this episode/match" Hours later, you hear the car pull up. You saw the note saying do your chores before I come home. You are sitting on the couch, binging on some Orange is the New Black or COD. Every student pulls out their primitive SpongeGar because nobody is ready for a quiz.

[bqstqnbruin]

2011

Ok so this was inspired by the new 5SOS song 2011 and naturally I had to be angsty and give you another mean ending because of who I am as a person and where I am in my love life so yeah

Shoutout to @broadstbroskis for encouraging me to post this, if there are any typos I'm not sorry I'm relying on spell check to count them.

Flashbacks are in italics

Word Count: 2604

Warnings: I don't think there are any besides sadness?

______________

“Can you believe we met 10 years ago today?”

“You remember that?”

“Are you kidding? Like it was yesterday.”

“Watch out!” you heard a voice calling from behind you, your inability to skate making it hard for you to turn around in time before you felt someone crashing into you, sending you right down to the cold ice where you already knew a bruise on your legs was going to form. You look over to the boy sitting next to you, probably around the same age as you were, trying to get up off the ice before he would peel you off and back onto your feet. “Sorry about that, I’m trying to break the new skates in.”

“Not going well?” you mumble, brushing the ice off the back of your pants, already hating that you were dragged to the local rink in town as it was, now having to deal with the injury from a random boy on top of it? Not how you wanted to spend your Saturday afternoon.

He shakes his head, snow from the rink somehow falling off him in the meantime. “Nope,” he says, popping the ‘p’ at the end. “I should give these to my brother and see if he can use them.”

“Seems kind of mean,” you tell him, debating whether or not to just leave him standing there or to wait to see where the conversation was going.

He laughed, the red on his cheeks getting deeper. “It’s just sibling stuff, don’t you have any siblings?”

“An older brother.”

“And he doesn’t do anything that makes you just a little irritated?” he asks you, a mischievous grin on his face as he started to slowly skate around the rink, something about him and his charm begging you to follow him.

“Always.”

“Because it’s his job as the older brother,” he says. “I’m Cale, by the way,” he tells you as you continue to follow him around the ice.

“We really had no cares in the world about anything that day,” he said to you, reaching out across the table to take your hand in his, his thumb tracing a pattern on your skin. It all felt so different at that moment, and there was nothing you could do to figure out why.

“I wonder when that all changed?”

“What are we going to do when you go off and play hockey all over the world?” you asked Cale. The two of you were lying in your backyard, one of the last nights of summer before school started; the sun was setting, the air was getting cool, both of you wishing the days were longer and the summer wasn’t ending.

You heard Cale laugh, feeling his eyes on you. “It won’t be all over the world, just two countries on the continent.”

“Caler, I’m being serious,” you said, calling him your nickname for him.

“Nothing’ll change.”

“Everything will change.”

“You’re being paranoid. Do you really think that we wouldn’t be best friends if I go and play hockey somewhere other than here?”

“You think we’ll always be friends?” you ask him, sitting up and pulling your legs to your chest. You were terrified of him leaving. You were already the worst when it came to him leaving for a weekend tournament, the week-long ones left you a mess. You were fifteen years old and already freaking out about a boy who would spend every free moment by your side leaving you forever. Part of you thought that there was no reason to even think about him staying or hope for it for that matter. He was destined to play for the NHL, win a few cups in his lifetime, and retire a legend. There was no way he wouldn’t be great in what he loved. There was no way he wouldn’t leave you forever.

“No, I don’t,” he says, after what felt like a horribly long moment of silence.

“What?”

“Well, I take that back. We’ll always be friends, but we’ll get to a place where we’re also more at some point.”

“Caler,” you start, trying to figure out what he was saying.

Before you could ask, his mom called from inside your house, telling him it was time to go home. He got up, that stupid grin of his on his face as he winked at you, running off and leaving you alone.

“What even did change?” he asked, his voice small. All the years he knew you, he never thought he would be faced with the chance of losing you. He never thought there would be a time in his life since the two of you met where you wouldn’t be together, physically or in spirit. He didn’t think there would be a time one you were his, once he was yours, where the two of you didn’t exist together.

You look up at him, swallowing hard. “We did.”

“Cale, I can’t fly out to see you this weekend.”

“Why not?” he whines on the other end. “I have one last game to play and then I have finals, and then I’ll be home anyway. I don’t want to wait that long to see you. I haven’t seen my girlfriend in two months. I’m lonely. I’m forgetting what she looks like, what she sounds like.” You could hear the playful tone in his voice, the stupid pout you knew was covering his face.

“You’re on the phone with her right now, you dumbass. And because I have finals and papers to work on, too, Cale. I can’t just drop everything whenever you want me to come to see you,” you protest, despite wanting to see him. “You never come to see me.”

“Now, that’s not fair.”

“Well, you don’t. I know you have games and everything, but even before your season started, before you started practicing every day, you had plenty of weekends where you were able to see me and you didn’t. I can’t keep spending the money I don’t have.”

Cale hung up on you, the beep of the disconnect ringing in your ear. There was no way he could be mad at you for not having time to see him during finals.

You didn’t hear from him until the next day, the day he had originally asked you to fly out when you started making plans the year he committed to UMass. His contact picture of the two of you came up on your phone, a Facetime from Caler flashing across your screen.

“You didn’t have to hang up on me yesterday,” you say to him, not giving him any other greeting.

“I’m sorry.”

“You should be,” you tell him. “You know how hard it is for me to have you on the other side of the continent, let alone when I have to tell you I can’t come see you.”

“I just miss you. I miss seeing you. I miss the summer before I left when all we had to worry about was what time we were waking up and going to sleep.”

“I miss you, too, Cale.”

“I guess I’ll just see you when we’re both home for break?”

“Yeah,” you tell him, letting out a sigh. “I wish we could turn back time sometimes.”

“Yeah?” he asks, shifting so his face was resting on his hand, propping himself up on his elbow. “To when?”

You sat and thought for a moment. Anytime before that year would have been fine. You missed him like crazy and knew it was going to be hard being away from him, but nothing could have prepared you for this. Even when he was playing games near you, he was just far enough away that you still couldn’t see him. “What about the night of our first real date?”

Cale lets out a laugh, throwing his head back on his pillow. “You mean when I spilled my milkshake on you to end the night and then was too nervous to kiss you good night that I waited until you texted me that you were up the next morning to go over and do it then?”

You couldn’t help by laugh thinking about that night, that perfect night where you consider everything between you two to have officially begun, those few years ago when you were both 16 and the only thing in front of you was your teenage dreams of being together. “Yeah, exactly. That night was perfect. We haven’t had a night like that in a while.”

Cale smiles at you before looking down at his mattress, a sad expression covering his face, “Yeah, we’ve both been busy, haven’t we?”

The silence between you in the loud restaurant was almost too much to bear. You didn’t know what it was, being there right next to the man who was the love of your life, the one you had trusted with everything for the last ten years that you knew each other, the one who you thought would be there with you for the rest of your life, and feel so far away from him. You were sitting there touching him and it felt like he was just out of reach.

You hadn’t seen Cale in what felt like forever. In reality, it had only been a few weeks since the Avalanche had been in Calgary and Cale had all of twenty minutes to spend with you. You had your suitcase, your phone in hand, standing outside of his apartment building, shaking in nervousness like you never had before. You checked his location, seeing and confirming again that he was in his apartment.

You reach up, knock on his door, and try to be patient while you wait for him to answer. You hear him yell, “Door’s open!” from the other side, his invitation to you to let yourself in.

“You really shouldn’t just let anyone in,” you call, poking your head around the corner to his couch, to see him sitting there with another girl. She was pretty, looking too comfortable for your liking considering she looked like she was alone in your boyfriend's apartment with him, especially since Cale was looking panicked while she wasn’t. “Hi?”

“Oh my god!” Cale yells, jumping up from the couch while you stand there, trying to keep your face as expressionless as possible so he wouldn’t think you were thinking the worst, which you were. You trusted Cale, but something about seeing the two of them too comfortable on his couch together made you nervous. He wraps you in his arms, the smell of what you could only believe was her perfume filling your nose instead of his normal cologne. “God, I’ve missed you,” he mumbles, his face buried in your shoulder, his lips finding your neck and for a moment forgetting the other girl was there. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought I would come surprise you, but it looks like you already have company,” you tell him, trying to hide the hint of pain that you knew was coming through in your tone. “You sounded like you were expecting someone else when you answered?”

“Yeah, this is Emeline, one of Tyson’s girlfriend’s friends. Tyson and Anne were supposed to be coming over, I thought you were them.”

You let out a sigh of relief, thinking you were crazy for believing Cale would do anything like that to you, even for a second. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” you tell Emeline, waving at her as she gets up off the couch.

“It’s nice to meet you, too, but I think you two deserve some alone time. Cale’s told me how much he misses you. You should spend all the time you can get together,” she says, leaving as soon as she could.

“It’s so weird that you’re here,” he tells you, taking you over to the couch, the two of you sitting the same way you found him and Emeline minutes before.

“Yeah, but I had a break in work and I wanted to come surprise you,” you tell him, taking his hand in yours. “I’ve missed you.”

He lifts your hand to meet his lips, his eyes never leaving yours as he presses a sweet kiss to the back of your hand. “I’ve missed you, too.”

The two of you shift, your head now on his shoulder with his arm wrapped around you, your hands still intertwined. It felt like you had never left his side in all those years you spent apart, and yet, something felt different. You couldn’t figure out what it was, but something was.

“Hey, I’ve been thinking,” Cale says, breaking the silence between the two of you.

“About what?”

“What if you moved here?”

“With you?”

“Duh.”

You sat and thought about it for a minute. Living in the same city as Cale again was everything you had wished for during the years you spent apart. He was your guy, the one you loved the most, the one you saw so few times during the year that you weren’t even sure you could really consider you two a couple. You tried to think of the two of you living together, still spending so much time apart while Cale was traveling for games. You couldn’t picture it.

You pictured a perfect world where you and Cale were living together, somewhere, but not in Denver. You pictured a life where the two of you were together every night, where Cale wasn’t playing hockey every other night and traveling somewhere else on the continent at least once every other week or so. You pictured you and Cale, living this ideal life that you had always dreamed of, the life that you knew could never be a reality.

But it was living with Cale. It was knowing that you would see him in a few days if he was gone for a road trip. It was living with the man you had longed to see every day for almost ten years since you met. It was moving in with your boyfriend who you loved more than anything.

“Well?” he asks, a growing feeling of nervousness and impatience overtaking him.

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Yes, I’ll move in with you.”

You were sitting across from Cale at a restaurant you had both been dying to try. You were there with the man you loved, thinking of all the times that you knew you were in love with him, the days where it felt like only the two of you existed, the days when nothing was wrong and everything was right.

“I wonder how our lives would be different if we never met,” you ponder, knowing how so much of your life wouldn’t be the same.

“You probably wouldn’t be in Denver at all,” he says, something you already knew was true.

“And you wouldn’t be here right now, probably.”

“My life wouldn’t be as good as it had been these last few years.”

“My life would still be back at home.”

The two of you sit in silence again, silence so thick you could cut it with a knife, the agony of not even knowing what to say to him causing you more pain than any physical wound ever could.

Cale lets out a sigh, closing his eyes before he looks down at his plate in front of him. “I wish we could go back to any of those days when everything felt like it was perfect. When everything was perfect,” he says, the grip he had on your hand starting to recede.

“I wish we could go back to before things were over.”

[fangirl-writes]

Kiss and Tell

5sos x Fem!Reader

Warning(s): swearing probably

Notes: the quarantine chats are dangerous. I could have made this fic so much longer than I did and I really wasn’t sure how to end it tbh 😅

Summary: You've kissed all the boys at some point or another so they call upon you to settle an argument.

“What.” You deadpanned when your face popped up on the screen.

“Y/N!”

You narrowed your eyes. They were all smiling at you a little too sweetly.

“What.”

“Why do you assume we want something from you?” Calum asked.

“Because you never fucking let me into these things unless you want me to do something,” You replied and they laughed. “So what do you want?”

“We need you to settle an argument,” Ashton said.

“About what?” You asked, taking a drink from your water bottle.

“Well, you know how you’ve kissed all of us at one point or another?”

You choked on your water and they burst into laughter again.

“Great, yeah, I could be dying over here and you fuckers are laughing. I feel the love.” You said, face heating up.

“Sorry, Y/N,” Luke said through his laughter.

“Who’s the better kisser, Y/N?” Michael asked, swaying back and forth in his seat.

“I’m not answering that!”

“Come on, Y/N!” Ashton encouraged. “The fans want to know!”

You groaned, burying your face into your sweater covered hands. “Couldn’t you have asked someone else?”

“All the other girls we know are biased! Plus you’re the only one who has kissed us all.”

“Oh,” Michael interjected, looking at the chat. “Speaking of, the fans would like to know the story for each of these kisses.”

You let out another loud groan that set them into another fit of laughter. “None of you fuckers told me this was live.”

“I can vouch for some scenarios,” Ashton said. “One of us was obviously present for each kiss, um” - he cleared his throat - “she kissed me...actually, some of you probably saw when she kissed me during a- aaah, what’re they called?”

“Keeks,” you said, coming out of your hiding.

“Shit, yeah, that’s right. It was a joke to a one direction song or something.” he replied. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, chat’s right. It was in a car and ‘kiss you’ by 1D was playing. So I puckered my lips towards her, as you do,”

The other boys and you laughed.

“And, uh, she let me kiss her. Like the song says.”

“And I regret that decision every day.” You said.

“Oh!”

“Ooh.”

“Harsh.”

“Ouch,” Ashton said, smiling. “That- that was only a peck though, you didn’t even get the full Ashton experience.”

You wrinkled your nose and stuck your tongue out at him. He stuck out his right back.

“She kissed me in a game of spin the bottle,” Michael piped up.

“When we were fifteen,” You said. “And I remember you used way too much tongue.”

Michael blushed a little bit. “Hey, I didn’t hear you complaining,”

“You were fifteen, bro, she was just happy to be kissed,” Calum said, making the group laugh.

“Yeah, imagine having to watch that,” Luke said. “It was pretty gross but Y/N seemed to enjoy it at the time.”

You laughed. “Like Cal said, I was just happy to be kissed,” you said, winking at Michael.

He rolled his eyes with a grin. “Ouch,”

“I think you kissed me during one of the old music videos, right Y/N?” Luke asked.

You nodded. “Yeah, but I think it got cut from the final thing. I don’t remember which one it was.”

“Was it She Looks So Perfect?” Calum asked.

“No, I don’t think so,”

“Oh my gosh!” Michael exclaimed. “Remember when we tried to get Y/N to run into the shot in her bra and a pair of American Apparel underwear?”

The group erupted into laughter.

“Oh my god, yeah!”

“And she would jump into Luke’s arms at the end?”

“Yeah, yeah!”

“I couldn’t believe you guys even had the guts to ask me that.” You said. “I told them no, of course, but they didn’t drop the subject the entire time they were filming.” 

“So it definitely wasn’t She Looks So Perfect.”

“No,”

“Was it Don’t Stop?”

"Nah, she kissed Calum on the cheek in that one,”

Calum giggled, a small blush spreading across his face.

“Wasn’t one of the recent ones was it? Not No Shame or Easier?”

“No, definitely not, we’d have remembered that.”

“Fuck was it something from Youngblood?”

“Not Girls Talk Boys was it?”

“No, no, no,”

“Jesus, how many music videos am I in?” 

“I think you’re in them all.”

“I’m in all of them?” You said, shocked.

“You didn’t know that?” Ashton replied.

“No, I didn’t know that. I mean I knew I was in a lot but I didn’t think it was them all.”

“Yeah, you always have some sort of cameo,” Luke said. “Even in Try Hard though you refused to ride the Rollercoaster.”

“Fuckin’ hate those things,”

“Oh, found it!” Michael exclaimed, a video playing in the reflection of his glasses. “It was in Good Girls, but it was cut.”

“Thought so,” You replied.

“It was during that slowed down, echo-y part.” Michael continued, dragging the video back a little bit.

“Oh, yeah, they had you jump up on stage and just, like, aggressively kiss Luke,” Ashton said.

You all laughed.

“Yeah. I remember that now. They wanted me to be one of the bad girls which I am absolutely not-”

“What do you mean? That song was about you.”

“I think the fuck not Mr. Irwin.”

That brought on more laughing.

“Yeah, don’t go looking that up,” You said. “Let’s just say there’s a reason it was cut.”

“It’s really not that bad,” Michael defended.

“I disagree, I’ve seen it.”

“I’m not sure how to feel about your strong emotions about this, Y/N,” Luke said with a laugh.

You laughed in return. “Trust me, Luke-ster, you were not the problem.”

“We’re getting off topic here,” Ashton interrupted. “How was the kiss, Y/N?”

You rolled your eyes, a small blush creeping across your cheeks. “It...wasn’t that bad... Better than Michael’s anyway.”

“Hey!”

You laughed and Luke shot you a wink through the camera.

“From the video it looks like you were enjoying it, Y/N,” Michael said with a smirk, getting you back for the comment.

“Fuck off Michael it was acting,”

"Mm hm, whatever you say,”

Your face was hot as you remembered it. The director had wanted it to be hot and intense. Wanted you to act like the girl from the song, which was hard for you on its own but you also had to full on kiss Luke in front of a whole bunch of people.

You were glad it got cut.

“The chat says it was hot,” Ashton read with a laugh.

You groaned. “After that behind the scenes video was released fucking (You + Luke’s Ship Name) was all over the place.”

Luke laughed. “I got tagged in a shit ton of Tweets, too.”

You nodded in agreement. “Not that I haven’t been shipped with all of you at one point or another,”

“I bet there’s still some fanfiction out there,” Michael said.

You laughed. “You would know,”

“When’d you kiss Calum?” Ashton asked.

“Drunk at a party,” Calum answered for you, sheepishly.

You gave him a lopsided grin. “That’s super dumb, Cal, I’m sorry.”

He laughed. “It’s okay,”

“You’re apologizing for kissing him?” Luke asked, grinning.

You blushed, laughing. “I guess?”

“That doesn’t totally count, you were drunk!” Ashton said.

“What you want me to kiss him again?”

“Maybe!”

You were all sent into a fit of laughter.

“See? Why do you guys even need me here? You know the stories.” You said, wiping your eyes from laughing so much.

“Because we can’t say who the best kisser is! And neither can any of our girlfriends. You are our unbiased party.”

“How do you know I’m unbiased?” You teased, putting them into a talking-over-each-other frenzy. You laughed. “Seriously, guys, all of those kisses were so long ago. I can’t give a good answer.”

“We just all need to kiss you again,” Luke joked.

“No way!” You protested.

“Why not?” Ashton asked.

“Because you have girlfriends! And that’d be weird...”

“I gotta agree with her,” Michael said. “She’s our sister from another mister, it’d be weird.”

“Sister from another mister?”

“Shut up, Luke,”

“Okay, well, now that I’ve slacked off you with guys for a while I should get back to work,” You said.

“You work for us, what could you possibly have to be doing right now?”

“Unlike you boys, I actually do work.”

They laughed.

“This is our work! We’re catering to our audience.” Michael said.

“Whatever you say,” You replied with a smile. “See you, guys.”

“Bye Y/N!”

You left the meeting and opened your twitter.

‘I’m not kissing them so don’t ask’

[miyagihawk]

for hawk

lover of mine - 5sos

it's a selfship anthem, bby!

the lyrics make so much sense

i love 5sos!!!! ty for the request :)

lover of mine | eli “hawk” moskowitz x reader

warnings: cursing, i think that’s it?

summary: based on lover of mine by 5sos <3

Lover of mine

Maybe we'll take some time

Kaleidoscope mind

Gets in the way

Your relationship with Hawk was more complicated than most.

You had to be patient with him. His mind was like a kaleidoscope; his thoughts were in intricate patterns that you could never comprehend. It amazed you, but it also frustrated you when you couldn’t understand him.

And when it seemed like you finally did understand, he would shift into new colors and you’d have to start all over again.

“I just- I don’t get you, Hawk! Why are you always lying to me?” you said loudly, already feeling exhausted from the argument.

“I’m not! You just never believe me!” he turned it on you. Like always.

You looked at him with a hard stare and crossed your arms. “Did you or did you not break Demetri’s arm?” you asked in a calmer, but still threatening tone.

You already knew the answer; everyone was talking about what happened in the laser tag room. But here Hawk was, denying it. You just couldn’t grasp why he hid so much from you.

When he stayed silent with his gaze not meeting yours, you sat on your bed with an exasperated sigh.“We should take a break,” you interrupted the quiet atmosphere, looking up at where your boyfriend stood in front of you.

“What?” Hawk finally met your eyes with a hurt expression.

You patted the spot on the bed next to you, and he sat reluctantly. “I’m just tired. We need a break Hawk.”

“We don’t need a break,” he protested quietly, and the subtle sadness in his voice was enough to make your heart pang with hurt.

Hope and I pray

Darling, that you will stay

Butterfly lies

Chase them away

He was scared. Even through all the countless arguments and lies, you never left. Now you were suggesting a break, and Hawk knows from seeing other relationships that they always just end in an actual break up.

In a weird way, you did want to scare him. Because he would never change if you didn’t. You hated the idea of a break, but maybe Hawk would finally stop lying to you if you showed him you were serious.

“It’s not a breakup,” you assured, because you knew what he was thinking. For once. “We just need time apart for a little bit. To think.”

“About what?” he asked defensively, starting to raise his voice again.

“You and I. We’re quite toxic, you know?” you contrasted his volume in a lighter tone, making his face relax and his lips turn up a bit.

His small smile dropped suddenly, replaced by an anxious expression. “Don’t leave me Y/N.”

Your heart dropped at his words, and you wanted to wrap your arms around him. To tell him you’d never leave and that it was all okay. But it wasn’t all okay.

You grabbed his hand instead, “You’re my best friend. I love you. But I need this, okay? We both do. Just some time to figure out how we can fix... us.”

“I can fix it now, we don’t need to take a break. Please. I’ll never lie to you again. I just- I hate disappointing you,” he pleaded, tightening his hand around yours, and you wanted to give in.

But you knew that letting this go on, this never ending cycle, would only end with the both of you in a huge crash and burn.

“You said that last time,” you gave him a sad smile. “Let’s just figure our shit out, and then come back better for each other. We need this Hawk.”

-

6 months later

Things didn’t end so well after your break with Hawk. After spending some time apart, you two were just never close again.

None of you planned for it to happen; you just drifted away from each other. And neither of you exactly established when the “break” would be over.

So for the next few months, you passed each other in the halls without any acknowledgment of the other’s existence. Of course you missed him, but not being with him just became the new normal. And you accepted it and pushed your feelings aside.

“So you’ll meet us there? You sure you don’t want the limo to pick you up?” your friend Cara asked from across the lunch table.

“Yeah don’t worry about me, Jesse’s picking me up,” you replied, making the rest of your friends wiggle their eyebrows teasingly.

“What happened to prom with the girls, Y/N? I thought we established no boyfriends during prom season,” Cara pouted playfully, and you elbowed her in the ribs.

“He’s not my boyfriend. He just asked me to prom and that’s it,” you corrected.

Your other friend jumped in, “And why not? Jesse is so cute.”

As she asked, your eyes trailed away from your friends and towards a certain someone with loud red hair, sitting across the room with his karate posse.

Your group noticed your lack of attention and turned to see what you were looking at. They sighed in unison, making you bring your focus back to them.

“He’s why, isn’t he?” Cara gave you an understanding smile and rubbed your shoulder comfortingly. “It’s okay. Just have fun tonight.”

You only nodded, giving your kind friends a soft smile of appreciation.

As much as you tried to convince yourself that you’ve moved on fully, the boy with a kaleidoscope mind would always have a place in your heart.

-

Where is he?

You paced around your living room anxiously, checking your phone for what seemed like the millionth time in the past hour.

You scrolled through the numerous texts you’ve sent, contemplating if you should send another one. Calling him wasn’t even an option; it went straight to voicemail everytime.

After an hour and a half, you gave up waiting and hoping that your prom date would show up. You flopped down onto the couch despairingly, replying to worried texts from your friends.

‘I’m not going to make it, just don’t worry about me. Have fun my loves.’ you typed, throwing your phone onto the floor right after.

You didn’t want to ask them to pick you up and ruin their night, and you were honestly too drained from being stood up to call an Uber.

So prom night ended up with you spread out on the couch with your outfit that you’ve planned out months ago, eating out of a carton of rocky road ice cream.

Honestly, it could’ve been worse. You could’ve been spending the night with an absolute jerk named Jesse. (a/n: so sorry if ur name is jesse lmao)

In the middle of your rom com movie marathon, an abrupt knock at the front door made you sit up from your pathetic, ice cream eating position on the sofa.

Immediately, you turned off the TV and tiptoed towards the door. You silently grabbed the baseball bat next to it, while squinting to see through the peephole.

Your stomach immediately dropped when you saw him.

Clad in a black suit, with a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

Shifting on his feet and chewing on his lip nervously, as he waited for you to open the door.

The boy you didn’t know you needed to see until now.

What is he doing here?

You covered your mouth in shock as you ran to the mirror to check if you had chocolate stains around your mouth. You smoothed down your hair and straightened out your dress in a frenzy, before unlocking the door with a deep breath in.

“Hawk?” you tried to act surprised, which wasn’t hard because your heart was racing.

He took a second to look at you in your wasted prom attire, and he was locked in a trance for a second before he snapped out of it. “Oh... uh, these are for you,” he held out the flowers to you and you took them with a smile.

“Wow, I love them. Thank you,” you brought them up to your nose for a whiff of your favorite floral scent. “So, what are you doing here?” you asked awkwardly.

“Oh crap, sorry, do you want to come in?” you said before he would answer, and you opened the door wider so he could step inside.

Hawk looked around the room where he’s been countless times, and he frowned at the sight of 13 Going On 30 paused on the screen with half melted ice cream on the coffee table. That movie plus the sweet dessert was your absolute comfort pairing, and it made him sad that you needed it.

“Cara texted me, and I was worried,” he finally spoke, answering your earlier question. You suddenly felt embarrassed as you placed the bouquet in a vase. You didn’t want to be pitied. Especially by your ex-boyfriend.

“I’m fine,” you said bluntly, busying yourself with the flowers so that you wouldn’t have to face him. You hadn’t talked to him since the night you suggested the break, and you already felt too exhausted from tonight’s events to even talk about it with him. “It’s better that I didn’t go to prom with that dick.”

Hawk chuckled at your remark, and you felt more at ease. The tension between you was thicker than an iceberg, and you didn’t know if you could handle it.

“So did you leave? Or are you just dressed up like that for me?” you smiled, sitting down on the couch where he followed.

He laughed again, lightening the mood even more. “I was there, but you know, Cara told me about what happened and... I just felt like I needed to come. It was lame though. The whole thing is just dancing. And I don’t dance,” Hawk explained, and you found yourself smiling at the thought of him caring about you. “But I know how excited you were about prom, so I thought I’d bring it to you. Some romantic shit like that.”

Your eyebrows raised at “romantic shit”, but you decided not to say anything about it. Although, it did make your cheeks heat up and you hoped he didn’t notice. “That’s really sweet Hawk. Thank you. Really,” you placed your hand on top of his, but you recoiled awkwardly because it felt too intimate, given the circumstances.

You cleared your throat, “So... since you’re bringing prom to me, does that mean I get a dance?” you got up and stood in front of him with your arms playfully crossed.

Hawk squinted his blue eyes at you, crossing his arms as well, “I don’t dance, remember?”

“For me you will, right? Or I could just, you know, dance by myself. It’s already been such a great night for me,” you teased, walking away from him towards a clear space in the living room.

He groaned from behind you and got up to follow, making you cheer happily. “For you I will,” he stated under his breath, releasing dozens of butterflies in your stomach.

Dance around the living room

Lose me in the sight of you

I've seen the red, I've seen the blue

Take all of me

You turned on your Dad’s old record player, where a slow, jazzy, 60s vinyl was spinning. You almost wanted to change it because it felt too romantic, but Hawk was already waiting behind you and you were scared he would change his mind.

The rush his presence gave you made you boldly put your hands on his shoulders, and he stiffly placed his own on the curve of your waist. Your hands were locked at the nape of his neck; his hold on you was light as if you were fragile china.

You forgot how intoxicating it felt to be this close to him, and you wondered how you went so long without that feeling.

The both of you swayed to the smooth melodies of Nina Simone with interlocked eyes, and with every second his hands on your hips became more relaxed. You rested your head on his chest, pulling him closer.

For a song or two, none of you said anything; there was just an unspoken appreciation of each other’s presence. After 6 months without him, you needed this.

I'll never give you away

'Cause I've already made that mistake

If my name never fell off your lips again

I know it'd be such a shame

When I take a look at my life

And all of my crimes

You're the only thing that I think I got I right

“I should’ve never let you go,” Hawk whispered close to your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

“I was the one who wanted the break. It’s my fault,” you opposed, lifting your head up from his chest to look up at him.

He raised one of his hands to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, and it brought a warm smile to your face. “But I didn’t chase after you,” his lips turned down into a frown.

You put your hands on the sides of his face while you two continued to sway to the staticky vinyl. “Maybe it’s both of our faults,” you laughed lightly, touching his soft skin.

“It’s me Y/N. I’m the one who lied to you throughout the whole relationship. I’m so sorry,” Hawk looked down at you with glossy eyes. “I’ve done so much fucked up shit. But you’re the only thing I got right. I hate myself for ruining it too.”

Your felt yourself melt at his confession. “It’s not ruined,” you disputed. “You aren’t perfect and I’m not either. I shouldn’t have given up on us. I’m sorry.”

He closed his eyes in peace as your hands ran through his bright hair. It was down from its usual style, giving him a softer look.

“Maybe we both messed up. But I’m never giving you away again Y/N. I won’t make that mistake. I love you,” the boy you’ve missed for months admitted, saying everything you wanted to hear.

You kissed him in reply.

a/n: ah idk if i like this but i hope u do, i feel like my writings are getting repetitive im having bad writers block (as u can tell by how slow im doing requests)

[roonilwazlibimagines]

What are some of your scenarios to fall asleep to? 👀

Ahhhh I’m glad you asked !! Also please feel free to share some of yours they can be specific or vague idc I’m in desperate need

I will be going into heavy detail because I can’t help myself I’m sorry and I will put in both normal ones and Harry Potter ones

Also this is just like one big ramble I’m sorry I got too excited I literally turned into that Tik tok sound where it’s like ‘you’re asking me about my theories? I’ve waited years for someone to ask me about my theories’

Update - I think I’m just going to keep updating this as well when I think of new ones because I keep forgetting some

My most recent one is a royalty one where they’re like royalty but in their really prestigious and royal school they were academic rivals and did not get along and after school they like try to go their separate ways until a couple years later their parents force them into an arranged marriage for like the good of the country or whatever I don’t really care!! You can take it wherever you want from there but in case you were interested in mine he fell for her first and kinda gave up on the enemies thing pretty early on but she still made it clear he wasn’t her favourite person and she despised the situation and there is still constant teasing until she meets his sister or friend or whoever who says that they can’t believe how happy he is with them and she feels so bad because she thinks he deserves better and ends up being much meaner to him because she’s an idiot who can’t express her emotions and he gets angry at her because she’s being super mean after they were just starting to get along and they have a big argument and are forced to talk about their feelings and then I can never decide whether they actually like each other when they get married, I feel like either way is fun

I have a thing for royalty so my other one is literally just princess x stable boy and you can honestly take that wherever you want but I will tell you where I took it for some ✨inspiration✨ so I don’t have my drivers license and get really bad driving anxiety so I self projected and made her terrified of riding horses right (I’m so smart I know) and he is like trying to help her ride the horse and feel comfortable and like obviously they end up in love but I created drama because she sneaks out to his birthday party (!!) but his friends don’t like her because they just think she’ll be a snob but he obviously defends her but like it’s a perfect opportunity for a bit of an innocent princess as well

My personal favourite is the two co stars falling in love and like thinking about doing all those stupid interviews from like buzzfeed and all that and I personally love the trying foods from different places thing (like making them try fairy bread - because I’m from Australia and we aren’t that cultured and being mad when they don’t like it because it is my favourite food) and it’s great because i can make the guy any actor I am currently obsessed with 😭 but also like the red carpet opportunities and interviews and fan reactions and it’s very fun also this keeps my brain very busy because I like making it as realistic as possible and figuring out the actors timeline so I can match the story up with it, it’s always really intense, also if you want inspiration for what moving they’re staring in I always go for the live action version of tangled even if I don’t look anything like rapunzel

Another fun one is where one of them is in a band and you have a friend who is dating one of the other members but you don’t like the band and you’re not shy in letting the other members know that and it turns into an enemies to lovers thing but I haven’t really developed it because halfway through I ended up changing it with the fact that they befriend one of the members and like fall for them but the band member like ‘gets around’ and it makes them jealous until they drunkingly confess it made them jealous this one’s a bit of a mess and is tipping into a 2012 wattpad story but it was how I got back into my 5sos phase two years ago because I felt icky about them but I’m still a slut for Calum 😭

Another one I love is moving abroad to study or whatever (idk I just always need a reason to be in America/Uk because there’s no one here in australia) and you make friends with someone who turns out to be related to someone really famous (insert whoever you want) and you meet them and you think they’re the hottest person you’ve ever seen and you get drunk to gain confidence to talk to them and you’re like unashamedly flirting with them and they think it’s cute and you’re funny but the whole little plot twist is that you don’t know they’re famous (famous people love that, trust me, I have about 10 wattpad stories in my library that can prove this) !! And the don’t believe you don’t know they’re famous !! Anyways I took it in a sugar daddy direction but each to their own!

Specifically for Harry Potter though, you ask?

Currently I am obsessed with Regulus Black and for about the past two weeks I’ve been obsessed with the idea of James potter sibling x regulus black enemies to lovers story and then about a week ago I found an actually good wattpad story about it?!?! (I have recommended it here with warnings but I really encourage you to read it if you’re not a minor) but you can also do your own version because I am still doing my own version and will continue to do my own version tonight even if I am obsessed with the wattpad one !! Currently I am up to post Hogwarts and her and regulus are trying to defeat Voldemort and regulus tells her that Peter is going to betray James and so ofc she tells James but James is like ‘how to do you even know this??’ And he is so afraid and gets angry at her and it’s really dramatic and she tells him she’s dating regulus and then he gets super mad at her because she’s dating like one of the most well known and loyal death eaters (even if regulus is sneakily trying to destroy Voldemort) and because he didn’t tell her and it’s very dramatic

My favourite Sirius black idea is also a James potters sibling one, but I never have any good ideas for it and just end up self projecting so if anyone has any ideas, I am begging you, please tell me !!!

My other Sirius black one is one I’ve been working on for like the last 4 years of my life and I probably should write it but who knows, but basically it’s a 10 things I hate about you x Harry Potter story where reader is about a year or so older than the marauders and she is like Kat Stratford (for people who haven’t watched it the best way to describe her is just an angry early 2000s feminist who is like anti dating and fun (kinda)) but she is Lily Evans sister!! And so Lily gets fed up of James constantly asking her out and makes an offhand comment that she’ll date him when her sister goes on a date with someone and James is like really?!? And Lily is like ‘sure’ because she knows her sister will never date anyone at Hogwarts so James tells the marauders and Remus is like ‘if anyone can take her on a date, it’s Sirius’ and Sirius is like ‘no, I’m stupid but not that stupid’ and James is like ‘please I’ll pay you’ and Sirius is easily bribed so he tries to get her to go on a date with him and like she doesn’t until she does and then finds out he only did it because James paid him but then they fall in love? Basically just 10 things I hate about you lol

My next one is with Draco Malfoy and all it is is that reader comes from a pure blood family and they’ve known each other since they were babies and it’s like basically destined they get married but she gets like really upset when he gets the mark which makes for a good cuddling and crying scene and like idk people are probably more creative than me but I just like reimagining scenes from hp but with this new character so like Poa when she gets angry at him about buckbeak or the bathroom scene (maybe she duels Harry?) and she’s so upset about Draco and comforts him, or helping him in sixth year and comforting him or the quidditch scene in the fifth book (weird note, but I’ve always headcannoned that my original character finds out about dumbledores army but doesn’t say anything and like the da knows she knows but she doesn’t tell Draco or maybe Draco finds out and gets angry at her?)

My other one is another Draco malfoy one where James and Lily live and she’s Harry’s younger sister (and Voldemort isn’t a thing) but like there’s still stereotypes and beliefs and such and like it’s obviously enemies to lovers and maybe they get prefect duties together ? (I am a sucker for this trope in Harry Potter) but then when they do date they try to hide it but Harry finds out but doesn’t say anything until they get into a fight at home and he is like ‘well at least I’m not fucking Draco malfoy behind everyone’s back) (in my head they aren’t fucking because they’re still in Hogwarts but you get the idea) and James and Lily are just like ‘WHAT?!’ Like idk I just think it’s funny imagining James and Lily finding out their kid is dating Draco and Lucius and narcissus finding out Draco is dating a potter - so many possibilities!

Update 6.10.21

I also have one for Charlie Weasley !! And basically you’re friends with the twins and like you go your whole Hogwarts life with the biggest crush on Charlie but like he low key doesn’t even know who you are and you want to become a healer and then after Hogwarts there is a position in Romania and you take it because you know Charlie’s there and at first he is like hmmm I think I know you and you explain you’re friends with the twins and obviously he falls in love with you I also took it in a nsfw direction where it’s like major innocence kink because Charlie is just such a dom to me and he like teaches you everything but he makes sure you’re happy and safe and it’s not really like serious sex you’re both just having fun and he kinda introduces you to dom/sub dynamics but you can do whatever is most comfortable

[tirednotflirting]

a fic rec list that quite literally no one asked for

I’ve felt incredibly uninspired lately with fic. It’s a shit feeling. I may just be done writing. TBD. But as I’ve been sitting around trying to determine my feelings on fic, I’ve found myself thinking a lot about how I read fic. I’ve been reading it for awhile. I like to think that even in the 5SOS space, I’ve read a really good variety of things. So I wanted to make note of the fics that come to mind when I think of fics that have inspired me/made me feel something/are just really good. This probably will not be very organized and I apologize for that now. 

I’ve been very VERY lucky to get to know a few of the folks whose works I mention here. I feel so grateful to have had even small glimpses into your creative processes. Just before the world Stopped a couple years ago, I was shuffling toward a mindset of writing off fan fiction as a thing of my younger years and I’m thankful that so many people metaphorically hit me over the head with their incredible works. 

there’s some 1D, 5SOS, Shawn Mendes, and also solo 1D boys in here. i think a lot of them are at least a touch nsfw at points but not all of them? yeah. i think everything that is is noted of on the pages they link to? certainly not an exhaustive list of my favorites but these were the ones on my mind today.

Okay, in probably a really strange, completely non-linear order, here we go.

sugar on the asphalt by @justanchorandhope

I genuinely cannot even begin to describe the love in my heart for this fic. this is the fic (and writer tbh) that kept me around on tumblr in 2013 and is the perfect example of everything i loved about 1D fic back in the day. an OC to die for, the perfect dash of so many different tropes, CUPCAKES, southern charm, it has it all. just the sweetest cast of characters. i cannot believe i was 15 when this fic was first posted and now i’m 24 and re-reading this still feels like a curling up with a cup of tea at the end of a long day.

okay basically everything written by @harryandmolly but specifically the following:

like the back of my hand + fear and loathing in mandeville canyon

okay so fun fact i was so thrown off the first time i read the first fic listed there (the second one listed is a sorta AU of the first one taking place in early pandemic/lockdown times btw) bc the OC’s bff uses the exact same nickname i used in high school. okay but Lilly is a GOD TIER OC. i love a story that takes place over a really long period of time + really shows the progression of a relationship. also super random but as a woman in my mid-20s with crazy unrealistic dreams of living in a big gorgeous house with all my friends, the descriptions of the house Lilly lives in make my heart sing. for a story that takes place in a totally normal version of the world, the world building (maybe the wrong term here idk) in this is so great.

i could write it better than you ever felt it

three words: warped tour au. no but seriously there’s this blanket of nostalgia over this whole fic bc of the setting that is so fucking fun (she says having never gone to warped tour but shhhhh). another bright and brilliant OC, SO many lovable side characters, really driving plot. reading this feels like summer in all the best ways. (+ a brilliant sequel of sorts.) perfectly captures silly punk boys + hayley williams is there just being the goddess that she is. my introduction to jasey rae lol. so many things and all of them so great.

the emancipation of ginny

got momentarily distracted reading the teaser sorry i’m back now. ginny: bad ass and gorgeous business woman lady navigating being the assistant for an international pop star who is also her ex. andrew gertler is so stressed the whole time. i like a story that jumps around in time and this one does it in such a unique way. the writing in this is STUNNING, i feel like i am in every scene feeling the misty fog in london and the sun in my eyes on a summer festival tour. a Masterpiece imo. also the niall in this is wonderful in all the ways he can be + taylor swift shows up for a minute.

perfect teeth by @stylesmoothie

why yes i am in fact linking you to MIBBA bc 1DFF was the only other place to really find this i think rip to our fallen hero and what a throwback adlskfjdsl. i am NOT joking when i say that i literally cried when people started reblogging around the final update for this a few years back bc it had been like 5 years since this fic was updated. this fic holds such a special place in heart (as so many 1D fics from this era do). ezra is a brilliant OC and her story is SO GREAT. something i loved about ~this era~ of 1D fic was how expansive the backstories for the OCs were and ezra’s especially just made me fall in love with her. i remember that reading the conclusion to this story (so many years after starting it) felt like this beautiful sense of closure. i had very few constants in my later teenage years but stories like this one were one of them. love love love this story.

(took a brief pause so anna and i could hunt down an old zayn fic from back in the day slkdfjlds leesh came to our rescue bless her)

nom de plume by @stylesprimes

another fic that truly feels like it just? defined an era of my life???? (just had to do some internet wizardry to verify this was a 2014 fic lol) another OC with just the most sick backstory and story told throughout the fic. in this era of fic i was a HUGE fan of the harry styles london indie crew kinda fic. could not tell you why aside from how fucking cool i thought alexa chung was. you really get to see everyone make mistakes and grow in this story which i really admire from both a reader and a writer standpoint. like that’s not easy to do sdlfkjdsl. i love all the twists and turns and it’s a story i love returning to every once in awhile. cecilia’s experiences in this are so so unique and i’ve never really read anything quite like this story. the dynamic between the characters and just the overall vibe of ndp has always been so novel. i love it.

scene 14 by @daydadahlias

this FIC OH MY GOD. so backstory: i feel like i was the last person to read jess fic esp this one like. i was so intimidated by the fact that everyone had already read this and i had all of this knowledge of the vibe and how much everyone loved this that reading this almost felt like being introduced to a friend of a friend, ya know? this fic is Stunning. like i didn’t think it would be possible to be so impressed by college au world building at this point in my life (i’ve been reading college AUs for like. literally over a decade) but this little world that jess created was SO immersive. these characters were all so bright and i loved and cared for each and every one of them despite how many there were. i laughed, i cried. reading this reminded me why i love fan fiction and i feel so SO grateful to be in this fic space at the same time as jess.

love would burn this city down for you by @calumcest

helen has shared so many amazing stories but this one is always going to be my favorite. there’s so much soul and heart and love in this short little piece. i barely have the words for it. i started writing myself bc i felt inspired by the space that helen was helping to create a couple years ago and it’s pieces like this that i think had a lot of influence on the style i would try to adopt in certain ways. she’s so great at showing love in the little, quiet ways. pieces like this one feel like a secret and i’m so thankful i get to be in on it.

another night of takeout by @roselirry

lol i’ve had the second part of this bookmarked on my computer for MANY years and just realized there was a third part to it i had never read. this is a niall fic, little slices of three different days from the perspective of Vee, niall’s assistant in a solo era world. reminds me of a lot of the reasons i love the emancipation of ginny. one of my favorite tropes, a bit of that ‘omg they’re so in love but just refuse to really fully acknowledge it’ kinda situation. only three little bits in this but through the bits of background you get such a FULL story (despite the fact that it’s technically not finished i think?). SUCH a comfort read, i’ve read this so many times that it feels like a cozy, worn cardigan. (also i’ve historically been SUPER picky with my niall fic and this one has really stood the test of time for me)

all the things yet to come by soysauceharry

so i’ve never been a big self insert fic kinda girl. i think i just started out with OC fic so it was just this foreign thing to me for so long. i’m also a very big character person so when a character is really vague for the purpose to trying to be easy to fit a variety of looks and/or personalities into, i struggle to find enjoyment in it at times. but jesus christ, this story is cool. for me, reading this story gives the vibe of like a dream where you’re watching yourself do something? so despite the fact that it’s written in the second person, i don’t feel like i’m watching the story from the eyes of the OC. also despite all of the ‘you’s i just have never read this as a true self insert. i have an MC in my head that is very much a unique character. MC is a graduate psych student, Harry is her graduate advisor for a min and then later just a colleague. follows MC through her graduate studies. the setting and the story are just so pretty and lifelike. i think i read this for the first time in the winter while i was still in school which added a lot to the vibe. i return to this whenever i want cozier vibes.

If you dance with me darling, if you take me home… Will we talk in the morning? by @kaleidoscopeminds

i love a meg fic for so so many reasons. i love this one especially bc the tone of it to me feels like how you tell the story of a fun night out. it feels fun and silly like the stories you tell the night after the night out about all the wild shit you did in the early hours of that same day. i’ve always been very fond of this fic because meg posted it when i was feeling very VERY down about the world and it just made me smile. this fic feels like laughs after shots idk how to describe it just good fun. she is the cake QUEEN but i always found so much inspo in her earlier lashton pieces. they remind me of all the good things about summer 2020. i’m glad they can still take me back to those times of first getting to know some of the folks that i just love so dearly now (baggy salt forever <3)

sail the wildest stretch by @beautifulletdownfics

holy shit y’all this story. the way this story is told feels so so unique. as i’ve gotten more into adulthood i’ve found myself appreciating stories like this a lot more. stories where adults are being adults and maybe shit romantically gets complicated but their lives don’t just get put on pause to resolve those complications. like that feels real, it makes sense. to me this has always felt more like a story about Amelia rather than AmeliaandHarry, which i appreciate and really enjoy. it feels like a very real thing - this super fabulous friend whose life isn’t as super fabulous as it appears. the characters in this are so human. they fuck up and have to figure out how to apologize for that. this is such a unique kind of fan fiction story and one that i will never stop recommending.

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