#and despite how angry he may (rightfully) be adam's feelings for michael are just so strong and deep and intimate and raw -

[freetobeafcknriot]

fic title meme: arms full of air

maggieeeee~! [tackles] hi! so idk how it happened, might be the stress, but this got long so i'm putting it under the cut. i hope you like it and thank you for sending this wonderful title!!

made-up fic title:　arms full of air

here's what i got: chaptered, character-centric midam story based on post-series events.

two starting points: a lakeshore, and an archway, where a second-hand duffle bag with the hem of a journal lightly poking out of it dangles from the shoulder of a young man with old eyes — hands joined as if he was praying. or trying to stay warm while it rains.

what's the thing that links these two places? only the wind that travels the distance in between and the echo of something within it hitting the boy's pale cheeks and ruffling his hair. two different, but equally strong kinds of loss and pain.

this story follows up the theory that i will go down with that michael's being was unmade and scattered around by chuck, so he's not actually dead. he's more, like, around. existing. in limbo. which is probably worse than being in the empty, because you can't feel, you are just not. the plot would cover this aspect right along with how adam, on the other hand, copes with his grief and waking up at night with tear-stained cheeks and a raging heartbeat.

loads of angst and in-depth stuff, yeah, but it would also cover how eventually —after a good full immersion in how it feels to be empty inside, frozen cold, and completely lost— it really is in human nature to pick up the pieces and try to make it better or at least bearable, and how a thousand-year-old bond and the unconditioned, stubborn faith and love that come with it can, in fact, rip reality apart and bring hope to the hopeless the power of love, right?

it takes a couple of years, but anyway, moving on: adam and michael reunite, and it's overwhelming and shocking and everything is not okay. because sometimes love is just not enough to not hurt.

the core of the entire story would be this: a literal journey, both metaphorical and literal, in which michael and adam don't really know where the other stands because so many things happened and so many mistakes have been made, especially on the archangel's part. but regardless, tentatively and in the end, they stick together. awkward and careful and frustratingly, achingly desperate to heal.

it's of unspoken i don't want to ruin his life again, how am i even supposed to talk about what happened?, i'm so mad but he looks so lost and i hate it, i love him, i still love him— momentarily, don't @ me it's my story

in which adam packs his stuff, glances at the beat-up house (not home yet, but still) he had found for himself and says "we need to sort this out and take a break." and michael stiffly nods and whisks him off to... huh, rent a car. they're not flying, not yet, grace's still recovering and it's better this way. cue them bickering like the old married couple they were before the rapture and still are at heart.

in which — all through weird and beautiful places, funny little inconveniences, longing looks, arguments, fond smiles, honest talks, and the foundations of new memories — little by little, they go from folded arms and pocketed hands (michael) and clasped hands and fidgeting fingers (adam) to open arms and singing souls. not starting anew, exactly, but rather recovering and filling the gaps.

so in short, the post-series spin-off we're never gonna get. <3

insp: If there's a way for us to learn to forgive There's nothing that I wouldn't give There's still a space that I have buried away It's deep in my heart, it's always your place

send me a made-up fic title and i’ll tell you what i would write to go with it

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

My 2019 Blog Review

Today's the last day of 2019, so I thought it would be fun to dig through my archive and reflect on my blog activity over the past year. I am doing this on my phone but once I have access to a computer again, I'll put this all under a cut. I just can't do it on my phone.

Jan 2019

- Tumblr's background color changed and apparently I'm the only one who liked the change.

- Kingdom Hearts 3 release -- of course, this was a huge thing in my blog at the time. Afterall, I'd only been waiting 15 years for this game. And while I definitely had problems with the game, it also had some very memorable moments that I loved...like Sora punching Davey Jones (I never ever want to forget that moment).

- I began my adventure of learning Japanese. I'm doing pretty good so far.

- The Mummy (Brendon Fraser) appreciation. Occamshipper apparently doesn't like these movies but I love them. I met some great people because I told occamshipper that whereas they didn't like The Mummy Returns, it is in fact one of my favorite all time movies.

- Lots of rambling about my love for Lucy Heartfilia and the Nalu ship from Fairy Tail.

Feb 2019

- BoA Appreciation. I love K-Pop and BoA is one of my all time favs.

- The Vic Micnogna scandal. Honestly, I don't really care about what's going on with the trial, what bothers me is the stain that was left on Funimation because of it. The voice actors really alienated the fanbase in this scandal and I didn't like that.

- Power Rangers appreciation. I love Power Rangers and unironically, too. My favorite power ranger is Adam from Mighty Morphin.

- Within Temptation's new Resist Album dropped and I loved it. I love these epic stories they tell with their albums and the vibes they give.

- I watched the Mythica franchise and my appreciation affair for Zombie Girl began.

- Ronon/Keller appreciation. I loved this pairing so much and I'm super sad the show never did more with them.

- Legacies Reviews. Apparently people find me funny? I have a sense of humor that people enjoy?

Mar 2019

- Emily Bett Rickards revealed she would not be on Arrow for its final season. I was really depressed a out that and I got a lot of hate from comic book fans for daring to say that I like the character of Felicity Smoak.

- Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles appreciation. One of my favorite anime/manga of all time.

- I was a victim of credit card fraud because of Creation Entertainment and then they tried to deny they were at fault despite hundreds of their customers reporting credit card fraud all at the same time. They eventually retracted their statement but because of this, I will probably never go to a Creation convention again. They're way overpriced and I certainly will not entrust my important info to them again.

Apr 2019

- Shadowhunters final season started airing and they went from irritating to just plain boring. Seriously, the season's biggest crime isn't how misogynist and racist it was, it was that it was completely nonsensical and boring for me.

- The release of Taylor Swift's and Brendon Urie's collab of ME! and I seem to be the only one that seems to legitimately love that song (even the "spelling is fun" part, RIP you beautiful lyric, alas, you were too good and pure to last in this hateful unfunny world of judgemental culture).

- The X Family appreciation. This is one of my favorite Taiwanese dramas and definitely my favorite series in the KO franchise.

- I broke up with the main SPN meta community (otherwise known as the Positive Police). We just didn't see eye-to-eye. I didn't appreciate them lording over the fandom telling people what they should and should not ship, telling people what they should and should not like...and they didn't appreciate me saying so. Lots of blocking went on and I'm still eternally sorry for the people that got blocked by these big fish because they simply liked my posts.

May 2019

- Game of Thrones crappy ending. What is there to really say about it? It was terrible and misogynist AF.

- Ezra appreciation from the Natural Oneders TFS at the Table D&D campaign. Ezra Lockwood was my favorite character and I'm not okay with how he was written out of the campaign.

- I was quite angry about Dean destroying Chuck's guitar like Dean was a 5-year-old child angry that he didn't get his way (seriously, Dean needs to be sent to time-out).

Jun 2019

- Quicksilver and Dadneto meta commentary from FOX 's X-Men franchise. So much lost potential there, unfortunately (thanks, Dark Phoenix).

- Orca appreciation. They're beautiful, majestic creatures and I love them, they might be my spirit animal.

- Someone unfollowed me because I wasn't giving enough attention to real-world problems. Essentially, I wasn't woke enough I guess. But I'm sorry, if I want to feel all righteous and justicey, I'll watch the news. Social justice and politics are not primary focuses of this blog.

- Godzilla King of Monsters was fantastic.

- Chuck TV Series appreciation. I love this show and I miss it dearly.

Jul 2019

- Veronica Mars Season 4 discourse. Essentially I hate what happened to Logan and what it means for Veronica's character moving forward.

- Played Love Island The Game and had way more fun than I probably rightfully should've had.

Aug 2019

- Re-watched Sailor Moon and then watched Sailor Moon Crystal. Both shows are so much fun. Plus, I love Sailor Jupiter. I love Jupiter's personality and her power aesthetic is badass to match her personality.

- Taylor Swift's Lover album dropped. I might be in the minority but it actually ranks pretty low on my list of Taylor Swift albums.

- Skillet's Victorious album dropped a d ot was a huge disappointment for me.

- I found watermelon to be my new favorite post-workout snack.

Sep 2019

- I watched The Untamed and I absolutely adore this show. I started watching more chinese dramas because of this show. And whereas I haven't found something I enjoyed quite as much from the chinese drama list, I've still greatly enjoyed a lit of the shows...but they still have nothing on The Untamed. The Untamed is just so good.

- Lover Fest was announced. And it was real shady the dealings that were going on with this. It actually kind of made me wary of actually wanting to see Taylor live.

Oct 2019

- I began the Korean drama, Extra-Ordinary You. I haven't finished it yet, but I plan to. I wanted to wait until the entire series was done airing. It does really interesting things with tropes and I greatly enjoy this show and can't wait to to return to it.

- Sherlolly appreciation. Rediscovered my love for the Sherlock/Molly ship from Sherlock.

-Leverage appreciation. Absolutely fantastic show. Highly recommend it.

Nov 2019

-Psych tv series appreciation. Another one of my favorite shows of all time.

- I wrote a Dean Winchester endgame meta. It was fun.

Dec 2019

- Kamen Rider Den-O appreciation. My favorite from the Kamen Rider franchise. I've been re-watching it and it's so much fun. Sato Takeru is amazing in it and the fact that this one of his first acting jobs and he's able to pull off doing so many different characters is seriously amazing.

- SPN finally brought us an angel/vessel dynamic in the form of Adam and Michael and it was amazing.

- The Jumanji re-make appreciation. I love it and The Next Level is just as good as its predecessor and I'm anxiously awaiting the next film in the franchise.

- My thoughts on why I'm single. Mainly because I'm lazy and I just don't feel like doing through all of the work involved in dating.

There you have it. That's 2019 for me. It had its ups and its downs but blog wise, I think I had a pretty good year.