#and don't have to worry about getting a virus on my laptop because of some shady website or link

[starpros-sunshine]

I can now do piracy on the TV and actually properly enjoy the films :3

[https-yuqiivdol]

𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓸𝓭𝓾𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷: 𝓜𝔂 𝓢𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮 𝓕𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓗𝓲𝓼 𝓖𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓹...

REWRITTEN

Chrt/ 0t8(mainly Felix), Y/n

Genre: thriller/horror

Plot: You're just like the others, going to your basic university, and of course, you love the popular stray kids, but even then, you have a strange feeling about them and avoid them like a virus. Your suspicions would never be confirmed true. Until one day, life takes a particular path...

《Masterlist》

"Trending news! The infamous K-pop band Stray Kids, made of Bang Chan, Lee Minho, Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung, Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin, Yang Jeongin have all been recently sent over fire for suspicious behavior"

We know that ever since we came here, everything has been strange.

"Their families recently sent them to Serrena Juniper University, a private school that educates music, psychology, human responsibilities, and more. A school that was made in 2009 by Ru Ahmaria. Their management said that they will be living in the dorms of the university"

We know it would've been better if we never went to this school.

"Many students are freaking out about this upcoming event, an example is this tweet from a student at Serrena Juniper "IM FREAKING OUT RN TGE STRAY KIDS IS GOING TO SERRENAAAAA" This is only one of the many tweets excited for the coming Stray Kids"

So many people died.. if only we could fix everything as fast as possible.

"But do not worry, their company said Stray Kids will still be dropping music! Or as we call it absolute bangers, but enough about the good news, let's talk about the drama that started this change in the first place."

We're trying to protect you guys. We apologize its taken long.

"Stray Kids have been accused of suspicious behavior and activities! Their were photos taken of Lee Minho and Hwang Hyunjin carrying heavy black bags, fans are concerned because those bags aren't designer bags, their heavily strapped duffle bags. Many fans are concerned and have suspicions that Stray Kids of hiding something mysterious an example is post "I used to be a fan of Stray kids but after these pictures I stopped. They obviously have something dangerous in those bags, and if you still support Stray Kids, please block me." But not all fans have this response. Others don't have an issue with the pictures and joke about it "Bro their hiding Chan's laptop."

What do we mean by all this?

"What are my opinions on this situation? Well, I think that fans have nothing to worry about. They could be carrying equipment for videos- "Oh, like helping staff?"- "Yeah! Like helping staff and stuff, their probably really busy, and they can't give off a friendly vibe right now."

Well..

The Stray Kids coming to attend and live at Serrena Juniper was really the topic of the school for months. Well, it still is, but now that they're here, it calmed down a little bit. Felix is your self-proclaimed 'seat-buddy.' The reason he calls himself this is because we sit next to each other... in almost every single class, but you aren't complaining. Felix is nice, a joy to be around even, but whenever you take a liking to someone popular, your brain decides to have a very uneasy feeling.

Originally, you thought it was you being nervous because Felix is popular, and in the boy band you love so much, but even when you thought it would go away after a couple of weeks, it stayed for months. It wasn't only Felix. It was all the boys. At first, when the boys recognized you, your heart was pounding against your chest out of excitement, but after a few months, you thought would get used to it.

"Seat-buddy!" Felix calls out to you, "Me and Jeongin are going to the arcade. Do you wanna come? " Ah, the youngest of the group Jeongin. You didn't sit next to him, but you did have him in some of your classes. Luckily, not in most classes as Felix, even so, Jeongin wasn't that quiet, but he wasn't that loud either. Sometimes, he was talkative and energetic, but he didn't really disrupt class. He was mainly seen talking and joking around with the boys in the class, or just straight up with Stray kids.

"I'm sorry, but I have to study because I have a test coming up in two days... sorry. " You give him an apologetic smile. Maybe you would've gone if there wasn't a test, but you doubt that a lot. Felix quickly holds both your hands with his tightly, "One day you gotta come, okay? The boys have been talking about you!" Felix eyes gaze into yours, holding your hands close to his chest."Excuse me..? They- they have..?" You question Felix's statement.

You have short conversations with Chan, you rarely talk to Minho and you dont have any classes with him, you only have one class with Changbin and majority of the time he's late or just straight up misses class, even he was in class other people were crowding him, Like Changbin you only share one class with Hyunjin and people are crowding him but it's the only time you see him you never see him in the halls or with the boys, you don't talk to Han purely because you don't know how to start a conversation and you don't want to make him uncomfortable, Seungmin is always talking to someone or studying so you don't want to disturb him, Jeongin is just... Jeongin.

You just cannot see why you would have any relevance or even be a topic of the boys when you don't even talk to the majority of them, "Felix have you been talking about me to the boys?" A smile slowly spreads on your face while Felix's face changes into a flustered one, "You caught me! Yeah, I have, but i said only good ones, I promise!" Felix giggled. You wanted to say something eles until his phone starts ringing, now he gives the apologetic smile before fumbling in his bag for his phone, "Felixxx, where are you? I'm standing in front of the arcade!" Jeongin could be heard from his phone. An embarrassed look was plastered on Felix's face when he glanced at you "Sorry Innie, I'm on my way right now." You took that chance to leave."That's my cue! See you later." Felix waved goodbye, and you both went your separate ways.

You let go of the breath you were holding for a while now, your stomach turning qnd heart pounding, you sight and cover your face. You knew better than to go with the arcade with Felix and Jeongin. The others will obviously show up at some point while you two are hanging out with each other and you just cannot handle that, especially Chan the leader of the group, if anyone from Stray Kids took the medal for being the strangest in Y/n's eyes, what better than the leader of the group!

Chan was the biggest one who gave you the "Be Panicked and calm at the same time" attitude, maybe because of the of the fact he is the leader his vibe is naturally commanding and heavy, but besides him having short conversations about your day nothing really happened between you and him and you were grateful, if there's a problem with him, than really there's a problem with whole of stray kids and you would past out if that happened.

Now that it's the end of the day, your thoughts start to wonder to the boys, "What do they talk about daily?" When ever you glance at them or their table, your mind wonders, they look like a dream, they always laughing and smiling surrounded by others all the time, they even look like they fit each other like puzzle pieces.

If it weren't for Felix, they probably wouldn't even know you existed, and you would never talk to them. "Hell, Felix, you're cornering me between your group and a lava pit." You thought but instead of focusing on them anymore, you decided to focus on the upcoming test, Felix is really sweet but you don't think you can handle anymore of this feeling anymore, maybe you were jealous that would explain everything but you never felt anything like this before.. yeah if there's someone popular you obviously would feel really nervous but it never went into jealousy, you dont think you have any sort of malice towards them, but it's gotten to the point you feel sick and have to stay in for classes, you cant escape that buring feeling in your chest.

maybe it was a part of you seeking something?

Do you mean im unconsciously searching for something?

Yeah, maybe your body is looking for answers?

About what?

I want to know.

What am I looking for?

You'll find the answer pretty soon..

Okay. Maybe you're going a little crazy, and you have a burning headache. Maybe it is all jealously taking over, making you stray away from people you enjoy... right?

[shutth3puckup]

to add to what the other anon said, I agree there is nothing to worry about. I used to run a influencer gossip blog and would get anon asks all the time with links and receipts for tea and I never had any problems. opening links on iPhone and macs are fine as they can’t get viruses! Opening links on other brands of laptops and phones is fine too but if you feel scared you can always switch to “private browsing”. It’s 2023 opening a link is not going to reveal your identity of give you some crazy virus 😂 girl you know you are doing good when you already have the haters coming in! Lol

Honestly, if it was 2013 I wouldn't expect a link to have some kind of tracker/ etc but in 2023 I almost expect it.

My aunt opened a pdf from a kitchen design place that was a mockup for an upcoming reno. Within ten minutes the IT person at her company was calling her because he could see some crazy stuff happening. He said in the time from she opened the PDF til her computer went off there were over 100 screenshots taken and a bunch of other stuff.

Technology is crazy now, I just don't know if anyone on Tumblr has the ability or cares enough to make that virus and embed it in a link.

[respectable-username]

🔐 Why You (Probably) Don't Need A VPN

A rant by a software engineer sick of VPN ads from her favourite YouTubers

TL;DR:

Here are some legitimate reasons the average internet user might want to use a VPN:

To connect to their company's internal network

To bypass the Great Firewall of China (or other types of website blocks at country or organisation level)

To watch Netflix etc as if you were in another country

Here are absolutely rubbish reasons to use a VPN:

Privacy

And today, I'll tell you why.

Hang on, won't a VPN stop hackers from stealing my passwords?

I mean, it does encrypt the web traffic coming from your device.

You know what else encrypts web traffic coming from your device? Your browser.

Yes, in the year 2021, pretty much all websites on the internet are accessed over HTTPS. The "S" stands for "secure", as in "your request will be securely encrypted". If your browser is using HTTPS, nobody can capture the data you're sending over the internet. More detail in the "I like too much detail" section at the bottom of this post.

It's very easy to check if you are using HTTPS by looking at your URL bar. In most browsers, it will have a lock on it if secure:

(From top left to bottom right: Chrome on iOS, Safari on iOS, Chrome on Windows, Edge on Windows, Firefox on Windows, and Safari on Mac. Screenshots reflect the UI at the time this post was written. Oh gosh this has taken over 4 hours to write.)

But isn't moar encryption better? What if somebody breaks HTTPS?

For starters, nobody's breaking your HTTPS, and there isn't any benefit from double encrypting. This is because of the maths behind encryption/decryption!

Encryption works kinda like a lock and key, except the lock is maths and the key is a special number only known to the person allowed to unlock the information.

The important thing is, without the key, all the locked data looks like complete and utter garbage. Completely unusable. Barely distinguishable from random noise. There's absolutely no way to tell what the original data was.

The other important thing is that the key is nearly unguessable. As in, with current technology, will generally take more than the lifetime of the universe to guess by chance. And when technology gets faster, we just make the numbers bigger again until they're once again secure.

For any major website you use, they will use a strong encryption algorithm (ie lock) with big numbers so your keys will be strong enough to withstand an attack. This means your data is safe as long as that lock icon is in your URL bar.

A VPN will not make the existing garble any more garbled. The extra $10/month or whatever you're paying for does not buy you any extra protection.

If you want to know more about how encryption and HTTPS in particular work, see the "I like too much detail" section at the end of this post.

Something something viruses

How's a VPN going to stop viruses? It controls the path your internet traffic takes, not the content that gets sent down that path. I guess it could block some known virus-giving hosts? But if it's known to the VPN provider, it's probably also known to the built-in antivirus on your computer who can block it for you.

(Oh yeah, 3rd party antivirus is another thing that's not worth paying for these days. Microsoft's built-in Windows Defender is as good as the third party options, and something something Macs don't get viruses easily because of how they're architected.)

Honestly though, keep your software up to date, don't click on anything suspicious, don't open files from sources you don't trust, and you'll be right most of the time.

And keep your software up to date. Then update your software. Hey, did I mention keeping your stuff updated? Update! Now! It only takes a few minutes. Please update to the latest version of your software I'm begging you. It's the number 1 way to protect yourself from viruses and other malware. Most major software attacks could have been prevented if people just updated their damn software!

But my ISP is spying on me!

Ok, it is true that there are TWO bits of data that HTTPS can't and won't hide. Those are:

The source of a request (your IP)

What website that request is going to (the website's IP)

These are the bits of information that routers use to know where to send your data, so of course they can't be hidden as the data is moving across the internet. And people can see that information very easily if they want to.

Note: this will show which website you're going to, but not which page you're looking at, and not the content of that page. So it will show that you were on Tumblr, but will not show anyone that you're still reading SuperWhoLock content in 2021.

It's this source/destination information that VPNs hide, which is why they can be used to bypass website blocks and region locks.

By using a VPN, those sniffing traffic on your side of the VPN will just show you connecting to the VPN, not the actual website you want. That means you can read AO3 at work/school without your boss/teachers knowing (unless they look over your shoulder of course).

As for those sniffing on the websites end, including the website itself, they will see the VPN as the source of the connection, not you. So if you're in the US and using a VPN node in the UK, Netflix will see you as being in the UK and show you their British library rather than the American one.

If this is what you're using a VPN for and you think the price is fair, then by all means keep doing it! This is 100% what VPNs are good for.

HOWEVER, and this is a big "however", if it's your ISP you're trying to hide your internet traffic from, then you will want to think twice before using a VPN.

Let me put it this way. Without a VPN, your ISP knows every website you connect to and when. With a VPN, do you know who has that exact same information? The VPN provider. Sure, many claim to not keep logs, but do you really trust the people asking for you to send them all your data for a fee to not just turn around and sell your data on for a profit, or worse?

In effect, you're trading one snooper for another. One snooper is heavily regulated, in many jurisdictions must obey net neutrality, and is already getting a big fee from you regardless of where you browse. The other isn't. Again, it's all a matter of who you trust more.

For me personally, I trust my ISP more than a random VPN provider, if for no other reason than my ISP is an old enough company with enough inertia and incompetence that I don't think they could organise to sell my data even if they wanted to. And with the amount of money I'm paying them per month, they've only got everything to lose if they broke consumer trust by on-selling that data. So yeah, I trust my ISP more with my privacy than the random VPN company.

But my VPN comes with a password manager!

Password managers are great. I 100% recommend you use a password manager. If there's one thing you could do right now to improve your security (other than updating your software, speaking of, have you updated yet?), it's getting and using a password manager.

Password managers also come for free.

I'm currently using LastPass free, but am planning to switch after they did a bad capitalism and only let their free accounts access either laptop or mobile but not both now. I personally am planning to move to Bitwarden on friends' recommendation since it's not only free but open source and available across devices. I also have friends who use passbolt and enjoy it, which is also free and open source, but it's also a bit DIY to set up. Great if you like tinkering though! And there are probably many other options out there if you do a bit of googling.

So, yeah, please use a password manager, but don't pay for it unless you actually have use for the extra features.

No I really need to hide my internet activity from everybody for reasons

In this case, you're probably looking for TOR. TOR is basically untraceable. It's also a terrible user experience for the most part because of this, so I'd only recommend it if you need it, such as if you're trying to escape the Great Firewall. But please don't use it for Bad Crimes. I am not to be held liable for any crime committed using information learned from this post.

Further reading viewing

If you want to know more about why you don't need a VPN, see Tom Scott's amazing video on the subject. It's honestly a great intro for beginners.

I like too much detail

Ahhh, so you're the type of person who doesn't get turned off by long explanations I see. Well, here's a little more info on the stuff I oversimplified in the main post about encryption. Uhh, words get bigger and more jargony in this section.

So first oversimplification: the assumption that all web traffic is either HTTP or HTTPS. This isn't exactly true. There are many other application layer internet standards out there, such as ssh, ftp, websockets, and all the proprietary standards certain companies use for stuff such as streaming and video conferencing. Some of these are secure, using TLS or some other security algorithm under the hood, and some of them aren't.

But most of the web requests you care about are HTTP/HTTPS calls. As for the rest, if they come from a company of a decent size that hasn't been hacked off the face of the planet already, they're probably also secure. In other words, you don't need to worry about it.

Next, we've already said that encryption works as a lock and a key, where the lock is a maths formula and the key is a number. But how do we get that key to lock and unlock the data?

Well, to answer that, we first need to talk about the two different types of encryption: symmetric and asymmetric. Symmetric encryption such as AES uses the same key to both encrypt and decrypt data, whereas asymmetric encryption such as RSA uses a different key to encode and decode.

For the sake of my writing, we're going to call the person encrypting Alice, the person decrypting Bob, and the eavesdropper trying to break our communications Eve from now on. These are standard names in crypto FYI. Also, crypto is short for cryptography not cryptocurrencies. Get your Bitcoin and Etherium outta here!

Sorry if things start getting incoherent. I'm tired. It's after 1am now.

So first, how do we get the key from symmetric crypto? This is probably the easier place to start. Well, you need a number, any number of sufficient size, that both Alice and Bob know. There are many ways you could share this number. They could decide it when they meet in person. They could send it to each other using carrier pigeons. Or they could radio it via morse code. But those aren't convenient, and somebody could intercept the number and use it to read all their messages.

So what we use instead is a super clever algorithm called Diffie-Hellman, which uses maths and, in particular, the fact it's really hard to factor large numbers (probably NP Hard to be specific, but there's no actual proof of that). The Wikipedia page for this is surprisingly easy to read, so I'll just direct you there to read all about it because I've been writing for too long. This algorithm allows Alice and Bob to agree on a secret number, despite Eve being able to read everything they send each other.

Now Alice and Bob have this secret number key, they can talk in private. Alice puts her message and the key into the encryption algorithm and out pops what looks like a load of garbage. She can then send this garbage to Bob without worrying about Eve being able to read it. Bob can then put the garbage and the key into the decryption algorithm to undo the scrambling and get the original message out telling him where the good donuts are. Voila, they're done!

But how does Alice know that she's sending her message to Bob and not Eve? Eve could pretend to be Bob so that Alice does the Diffie-Hellman dance with her instead and sends her the secret location of the good donuts instead.

This is where asymmetric crypto comes in! This is the one with private and public keys, and the one that uses prime numbers.

I'm not 100% across the maths on this one TBH, but it has something to do with group theory. Anyway, just like Diffie-Hellman, it relies on the fact that prime factorisation is hard, and so it does some magic with semi-primes, ie numbers with only 2 prime factors other than 1. Google it if you want to know more. I kinda zoned out of this bit in my security courses. Maths hard

But the effect of that maths is easier to explain: things that are encoded with one of the keys can only be decoded with the other key. This means that one of those keys can be well-known to the public and the other is known only to the person it belongs to.

If Alice wants to send a message to Bob and just Bob, no Eve allowed, she can first look up Bob's public key and encrypt a beginning message with that. Once Bob receives the message, he can decrypt it with his private key and read the contents. Eve can't read the contents though because, even though she has Bob's public key, she doesn't know his private key.

This public key information is what the lock in your browser is all about BTW. It's saying that the website is legit based on the public key they provide.

So why do we need symmetric crypto when we have asymmetric crypto? Seems a lot less hassle to exchange keys with asymmetric crypto.

Well, it's because asymmetric crypto is slooooow. So, in TLS, the security algorithm that puts the "S" in "HTTPS", asymmetric RSA is used to establish the initial connection and figure out what symmetric key to use, and then the rest of the session uses AES symmetric encryption using the agreed secret key.

And there you have it! Crypto in slightly-less-short-but-still-high-enough-level-that-I-hope-you-understand.

Just realised how long this section is. Well, I did call it "too much detail" for a reason.

Now, next question is what exactly is and isn't encrypted using HTTPS.

Well, as I said earlier, it's basically just the source IP:port and the destination IP:port. In fact, this information is actually communicated on the logical layer below the application layer HTTPS is on, known as the transport layer. Again, as I said before, you can't really encrypt this unless you don't want your data to reach the place you want at all.

Also, DNS is unencrypted. A DNS request is a request that turns a domain name, such as tumblr.com, into an IP address, by asking a special server called a Domain Name Server where to find the website you're looking for. A DNS request is made before an HTTP(S) request. Anyone who can read your internet traffic can therefore tell you wanted to go to Tumblr.

But importantly, this only shows the domain name, not the full URL. The rest of the URL, the part after the third slash (the first two slashes being part of http://), is stuff that's interpreted by the server itself and so isn't needed during transport. Therefore, it encrypted and completely unreadable, just like all the content on your page.

I was going to show a Wireshark scan of a web request using HTTP and HTTPS to show you the difference, but this has taken long enough to write as it is, so sorry!

I could probably write more, but it's 1:30am and I'm sleepy. I hope you found some of this interesting and think twice before purchasing a VPN subscription. Again, there are legit good uses for a VPN, but they're not the ones primarily being advertised in VPN ads. It's the fact that VPN ads rely so heavily on false advertising that really grinds my gears and made me want to do this rant. It's especially bad when it comes from somebody I'd think of as technologically competent (naming no names here, but if you've worked in tech and still promote VPNs as a way to keep data safe... no). Feel free to ask questions if you want and hopefully I'll get around to answering any that I feel I know enough to answer.

Nighty night Tumblr. Please update your software. And use a (free) password manager. And enable two factor authentication on all your accounts. But mostly just update your software.

[sindri42]

"Run them through Three different virus scrubbers" Would you care to give some recommendations on them for the sake of research?

That's actually hyperbole; I've got a half dozen lying around somewhere for when something is really shady but as a general rule I scan things with AVG and Malwarebytes and if neither of those think there's anything wrong with it it's probably fine.

Of those I think I recommend malwarebytes without reservation because it's light-weight, installs anywhere, and doesn't do anything you don't tell it to. It's not good as a primary defense since you have to specifically tell it to look for things instead of just letting it run in the background, and its success rate isn't quite as high as the big names, but you can add it onto basically whatever you're doing as a secondary defense and improve your chances significantly. I keep a copy of it on a flash drive in my pocket for when elderly relatives ask me to "fix" their machines.

AVG... if you asked me ten years ago when I first made it my primary virus defense, I would have recommended it to you because right after I finally broke away from mcaffe and norton and their assorted bullshit I did a bunch of research and it looked like AVG had one of the best success rates in the business while simultaneously being minimally intrusive. Every year since then, they've started using up more system resources and throwing more advertisements and interruptions at me and generally reversing all the things that made me pick them in the first place. They're still a hell of a lot better than Norton or McAfee of course, but at this point only inertia is keeping me using AVG and if they get like, 20% more annoying I'm going to finally do the research required to pick out a new primary. So I don't think I'd recommend it to somebody as a new thing. Unless you're using Norton or McAfee, which I classify as malware (and in fact AVG did a very good job at removing from a laptop they were preinstalled on).

Anyway, any given virus scanner will probably catch like 98% of threats, so if you run a file through two different virus scanners made by different people any given problem only has like a 0.04% chance of slipping through and that is too small to worry about.

But I also don't do anything serious like banking or purchasing or job applications or whatever on the machine that I use for watching sketchy animes. There's all kinds of ways to reduce risks but no way to eliminate them other than not doing risky things at all.

[jj-iz-bae]

Don't tell me not to worry

Word count: 1722 words

Requested by @sunwardsss : Can you do comfort 38 and 43 for Chase please? 38: “I’m in the hospital.”43: “You don’t have to sleep here just because I got admitted.”

Pairings: Chase Stokes x Reader; Chase Stokes x Rudy Pankow; Rudy Pankow x platonic!reader

Warnings: Hospitals,seizures,Fluff,bad spelling and grammar

Note from author: so this is actually based on a seizure episode I had. It only happend one time and was caused by strep throat which triggered a reaction in the auto immune disorder (the disorder basically is that instead of my immune system attacking the virus or illness, my immune system attacks my brain causing all sorts of weird things to happen. When I was younger only strep throat triggered a "flare" of increased symptoms ie ocd,anxiety,age regression,mood swings,foggy brain and other things. Sadly the disorder has developed so that I flare with any illness, not just strep) ANYWAYS 😂 I hope you enjoy this Fluff with a tiny pinch of angst. Just a tiny bit if you squint. Ace is my nickname for Chase and I've used it in other blurbs. I just think it's cute. Kinda like how I call Rudy Panky🙃

Chase was wrapping up a day on set, shoving all his belongings into a backpack. He slung the backpack over his shoulder and grabbed his keys ,leaving his casting trailer when his phone started ringing. He just realized he hadn’t heard from you all day. Seeing your name flash across the screen, he stopped in his tracks and answered. “Hey baby girl! I haven’t heard from you all day!” Chase exclaimed as he started to kick a rock around with his foot. “Sorry Ace. Please don’t freak out.I’m totally fine now but I'm in the hospital.” you explained slowly. Chase’s eyes grew large as he starred jogging to his car. "Don't tell me not to worry baby! Where are you? What happened?" Chase asked as he reached his car and fumbled with the keys, trying to move quickly in his panicked state. He swore under his breath as he dropped his keys and put you on speaker phone while he picked up his keys. You heard the rustling on the other end of the phone and grew nervous. "Chase! Babe are you OK? Calm down I promise I'm OK!" Rudy just so happened to be walking to his car when he heard your voice and saw Chase cursing at his car keys. "Hey dude! What's going on? You OK?" Rudy asked as he walked over to Chase. "Rudy! Y/n's in the hospital and I need to...I just can't.." Chase stuttered. Rudy grabbed the keys out of his hands. "I'll drive. You just talk to her." Rudy threw his stuff in the back of Chase's car as he hopped into the drivers seat and Chase ran around to the passenger seat. "OK sorry babe. Rudy is driving cause you're freaking me out. What happened?" Chase asked, running his hand through his wavy hair as Rudy pulled out of the set parking lot. "Thanks for taking care of him Rudy! I swear I'm fine! I'm at St. Marcus hospital. I think it's pretty close to town." Rudy picked up his phone and pulled up directions on his GPS before placing his phone in the cup holder so he could see the map. "No problem hun! Now tell us what happened before Chase pulls his hair out." Rudy answered ."Yeah you're scaring the shit out of me,Baby girl." Chase let out a breathy giggle.

"OK. Well I had my mom over and we were just hanging out watching TV and everything went black. Everything sounded echoey and I tried to open my eyes but it was like i had no control. I started convulsing and got sick. Mom called an ambulance and they brought me to the ER. The Er sent me here so I've been in the ambulance twice today!" You sighs. Chase nervously picked at his lips. "So what does that mean? Like did they run any tests yet?" Chase asked as Rudy broke a few traffic laws to get him to you quicker. "They have me hooked up to all these monitors and I'm going for an MRI tomorrow. The doctor said I most likely had a seizure." You explained as you looked at all the wires and iv lines covering your body. Chase let out a breathe that he didn't know he was holding. "OK baby. We will figure this out! Rudy, how far away are we?" Chase looked over at the blonde with red eyes, on the verge of tears. "It's right up here on the left." Rudy mumbled as he leaned over the steering wheel to make sure it was clear to turn. "OK babe. We just pulled into the parking lot. Where do I go?" Chase asked as he unbuckled his seat belt. "I'm on the 7th floor room 54." You said yawning. Rudy pulled up to the main entrance and stopped the car. "Go ahead man. I'll park the car and meet you up there." Rudy explained as Chase gave him a quick hug and jumped out of the car and jogged to the entrance. "OK I'm getting in the elevator now. Ill see you in 2 seconds OK? I'll be right there!" Chase babbled on as he put the phone up to his ear, taking it off speaker. "So how was work?" You asked trying to distract him a little. "Y/n as much as I wanna tell you about my day, I can't remember shit right now." Chase smirked as you hummed in response.

The elevator dinged and Chase got off the elevator and walked up to the nurses station. He put his phone on his shoulder so he wouldn't look rude for not giving the nurse his full attention. "Hello miss! My girlfriend is here somewhere. Room 54. Her name is y/f/n y/l/n. I can give you her birthday if you want to verify I'm not some weirdo." Chase said talking a mile a minute. The nurse just smiled and got up from her desk. "You must be Chase! She told us you were coming! Said you'd be the tall surfer guy with the chocolate brown eyes. Follow me." The nurse smiled before walking down the hall with Chase on her heels. She got to a door and knocked lightly before opening it. "Hey y/n! Surfer boy is here!" The nurse giggled as Chase walked through the door and the nurse closed it behind him. You were laying in the hospital bed with leads attached to your chest and stomach. You also had an iv in her arm and a couple stickers with wires on her head. Upon seeing Chase, you total lost all your composure and started sobbing. Chase rushed over to your side and gently hugged you close. "It's OK baby. I'm here. I've got you." Chase cooed as tears started to run down his face. You scooted over on the bed making room for Chase to lay down. He carefully made sure all the leads were out of the way and nothing was being pulled before tucking you into his chest. " It was so scary! I didn't know what was happening or why." You sniffed as you snuggled into his chest. "Shhhh. It's OK now. It's over. You're here now ad we will figure out what happened and why. Just relax baby." Chase cooed as he rubbed your back. A soft knock made you jump in your sleepy state. Chase said come in before kissing the top of your head, noticing the jolt of your body at the sudden noise. Rudy entered the room with Chase's backpack on his shoulder. "Hey y/n. How you feeling, sweetheart?" Rudy asked in a soft voice as he crouches down next to the bed. "I'm exhausted and confused as to what happened but I feel ok. Thank you for making sure Ace got here OK. I really appreciate it." You said while reaching out to grab Rudy's hand. "No problem at all! JD is coming to pick me up so Chase's car is here." Rudy explained before putting Chase's backpack down. "I thought you might want your bag." Rudy nods to Chase as he stands up. "Thanks man. I owe you one." Chase bumped his fist to Rudy's. "No you don't! You would have done the same for me. You rest up OK y/n? Don't let this guys puppy energy keep you up." Rudy said pointing between the two of you, which made you let out a small chuckle. "He smells like the ocean and is warm. I think I'll have no trouble falling asleep." You mumbles as you snuggles into Chase's chest again. Chase smirks ,holding you close. Rudy's phone dings and he waves good bye so he doesn't disturb the half asleep girl on Chase's chest.

You awoke from your nap to Chase still at your side. You smile up at him. "Sorry I fell asleep on you. You didn't have to stay." Chase opened his eyes lazily, drawing shapes on your arm with his finger. "No way am I leaving you baby. But since you're awake now. I really need to pee." Chase chuckled as he slowly scooted off the bed and walked to the bathroom on the other side of the room. You turned on the TV and sat up a little, looking at the screens and wires all around you. Chase came out of the bathroom, tossing a paper towel into the trash bin, before grabbing his bag from next to the bed. He pulled out his charger and plugged your phone in before putting it down on the table next to you.As he placed the bag down and sat next to you on the bed, a nurse knocked and entered the room. "Hey you two! I have extra sheets and blankets for you! This chair fold out into a lounger so you both don't have to smush together all night." The nurse explained as she sat the extra blankets and linen on the chair. "Thank you so much!" Chase beamed as the nurse came over to your bed side to check all your vitals. "Is there anything I should look for overnight?" Chase asked the nurse."Well if she has any convulsions or gets sick, press this call button." The nurse said pointing to the red button on the wall. "Other than that, if anything has you worried press the button and we will come make sure everything is OK." The nurse smiled as she finished getting your blood pressure and typed the vitals into her laptop before leaving the room. Chase got up from his seat on the bed and opened up the lounger chair, putting on the different sheets ad blankets. "You know, you don't have to sleep here just because I was admitted." You smile watching his basically throw blankets round until he was satisfied. He came and laid down next to you again before pecking your lips. "I told you ,baby. I'm here with you for everything. We'll figure this out together." Chase cooed as he pulled you closer and watched SpongeBob with you on his chest, running his ringers through your hair. "I love you, Ace." You said before kissing his hand. "I love you more,Baby girl."

*photo cred to pintrest*

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Comment tag list on any of my writing to be added❤️

[summerstarlover-blog]

So what made you happy during this time of home quarantine and total reset? (Image made with Crello)

So, for the past few days I've been in home quarantine because of a few symptoms due to my allergies. Thank God I am completely fine now, and will be ready to get back to work in no time! Of course, I've been hit with paranoia - having my own dining utensils, wearing mask at home, not having too much contact with family members (well, because we don't have enough room for isolation in our house) - just to make sure that I don't give them the virus just in case.

I made this post to remind, not just myself but everyone that there are a lot more things we have to be grateful for than to worry about. Yes, we are in a time of pandemic and utter chaos and confusion. But it doesn't necessarily need to make us feel miserable and helpless.

Here are the things that really made me happy during these trying times!

First off, my custom pouch/clutch bag from Monchibonchi already arrived! I've been a follower for about five years now, and I totally love her products. They're handmade and there's a lot of designs to choose from. They also make book and/or journal covers, face masks, and laptop/tablet sleeves.

I also got one for my sister! She chose a lemon-designed fabric.

My resin and accessories tools and thingies also arrived this week!

I found a pretty good shop in Shopee.ph (Infashion1.ph) where I can buy materials for making some accessories. Making resin accessories has made me really interested in it. It is quite an expensive hobby to be honest (Well, all of my hobbies are quite luxurious, if I may say so). I decided to invest a little bit on the materials since I still have some UV resin left. When I received the packaged, I really wanted to make an unboxing video. Seriously! That's how happy I was. Well, sad to say my phone's not capable of capturing great videos.

I really like this resin-making set! It has an assortment of molds, some spoons and pipette, as well as some glitters and sand.

Here's one I made. Kinda rough on the edges, but pretty good for an amateur, dont you think?

I would just like to remind everyone that I am not in any way affiliated to the said person/s. I bought everything with my own money. Apart from these things, I'm also grateful that I would be able to celebrate my sister's birthday on the comfort of our home. At the very least, we are together. So that's it for my "gratitude" post for now. I hope you guys have great days ahead! Ja ne! ("See ya" in Japanese)

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: I miss you Rio: Guarantee I miss you more Buster: State your case then Rio: 😍😍 Buster: That's a strong introduction, how are you gonna follow it through? Rio: 🤤🤤 Buster: I like the thread of your argument, I can't lie, but I still miss you more Buster: 'Cause a girl was flirting with me in the gym and after telling her all the ways she doesn't compare to you, how incomparable you are was, and is, all I could think about Rio: As much as I probably shouldn't encourage you to be rude to random girls Rio: I love that you do so Buster: She embarrassed herself long before I embarrassed her, reckoning she had a chance Rio: I know what you mean Rio: the stalker has been getting inventive today Buster: Tell me Rio: We're doing this whole project in comp sci about viruses and shit Rio: and they've sent a meant-to-be-creepy spam type email Rio: it's got attachments but Rio: I've not looked yet Buster: Send it to me, I'll open it for you Rio: I know it's unlikely they're that smart Rio: but what if it does have some computer-killing 👾 attached? Buster: Smart enough that we haven't worked out who they are yet Buster: but if it's a virus, I'll buy another laptop Rio: it seems ridiculous Rio: this proves it has to be someone at school now, at least Rio: it's not like I've posted about my fucking homework anywhere Buster: How big's that class? Buster: Can discount my sister and your brother already, like Rio: Don't Rio: you're about the only person I've not thought it could be at my craziest Rio: probably about 30 odd though, standard Buster: Baby, they're the crazy one and I'm not letting them drive you even slightly close to the edge Buster: Who do you know and who don't you, percentage wise? Rio: I thought I knew everyone in this school, this town Rio: you'd think if someone was as creepy as this, anyway, that you'd know, they'd fucking stick out a bit but no Buster: It ain't a film, there's no creepy music playing to give it away Rio: if it was, it'd be dragging Rio: time for the resolve and happy ending Buster: Yeah, I know Buster: You wanna try calling that helpline again? Rio: Maybe Rio: I just wanna talk to you Rio: that's more helpful Buster: It's the least bullshit lead we've had for ages, I'll find a way to narrow it down more somehow Buster: We've got an obsession with you in common, it'll be me who figures it out if any cunt can Rio: Yours is the only one I need Buster: If you need to stay here for a while I'll sort it with my parents, yours, school, whoever Buster: You know that Rio: I know Rio: it's more and more tempting to not leave every time I go Buster: I just want you to be able to take an actual deep fucking breath Buster: Like you said, the amount of time this has been going on is ridiculous Rio: I can forget about it, most of the time Rio: but it's when something new happens, unexpected Buster: I'll kill him when we work out who it is Buster: 'Til then, stay with me Buster: He never does fuck all when you're here Rio: At least that's quick Rio: too nice if anything, babe Rio: always say that about you Buster: It don't have to be quick or nice Buster: Don't underestimate me, babe Rio: 🤤🤤 I rest my case Buster: I love you, that rests mine Buster: I'd do anything for you Rio: I love you so much Rio: I'd definitely be crazy without you, stalker or otherwise Buster: There's a fair chance I'd be stalking you too if things were any different between us Buster: I'd leave better presents though Rio: and I'd know it was you always Buster: 'Course Buster: I'd want you to know Rio: hence there's no world in which we ain't a thing Buster: [has bought her the most expensive and best ever anti virus software and all that jazz so sends her the deets like there you go] Rio: this really has everything Rio: thank you Buster: He ain't gonna be smart enough to get through that, I've been reading reviews since you told me Buster: And I have it too now so you don't have to worry about sending me whatever bullshit he does to you Rio: We can open it together then? Rio: [I think it shouldn't be camgirl moments but something @school to drive that home] Buster: Yeah, on the count of three Rio: [just some creeper shots all throughout the day up until that lesson] Rio: these are today, I'm 99% sure Rio: I swapped my bag Buster: Forget going there tomorrow, I'm booking you a flight here instead Buster: I'll think of a lie to tell my parents if you still don't want anyone else to know the truth Rio: there was always the possibility Rio: but now I know it's someone I really see in person Rio: every day Rio: jesus Buster: I meant what I said, I'm gonna find out who, whatever it takes Buster: I know it feels fucked, but it's good, that it's one of 30 classmates rather than the numbers of lads who watch your streams Rio: it's true Rio: but those lads could be anywhere in the world, not in the same room as me Buster: Which is why you shouldn't be in that room until we know which sick cunt it is Buster: Just give me some time, it's not like I don't have the money to throw at it Rio: I couldn't be there if I had to Rio: I don't even want to be here at home now Buster: How soon can you be at the airport? Rio: not for a while Rio: I mean, tonight, maybe Rio: what should I tell my mam? Buster: Tell her I'm having a breakdown, it wouldn't be the first time Buster: I'll trash the house for realism if it comes to it, like Rio: it'll keep her from being worried Rio: pissed off is fine, I'll deal with that when I can Buster: Exactly Buster: And Ava's at a friend's so I don't have to worry about scaring the shit out of her with my acting Buster: 'Cause it'd be stupid not to feed my parents the same lie Rio: You don't have to go that method Rio: but I wouldn't blame you Rio: I'm trying to keep my freak out internal because I'm looking after the twins and your sister is on her way Buster: I'm glad you're not on your own, even if the company is Nance Rio: I was kinda hoping someone took the homework too seriously and was pranking the whole class Rio: but nah, the email was more specific than I let on to her, of course Rio: even before the pictures Buster: 'Course you were Buster: He'd been quiet for a while Rio: really think he'd get bored at some point Rio: I never react, respond, everything they tell you Buster: Now isn't really the time for me to reiterate how stalkable you are again when I can do better with compliments Rio: the fact you can make me smile even at this time Buster: I can do better than that too, I'll make you forget about it Rio: yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: I need that Rio: my head is all over the place Buster: You've got it, and whatever else you need Rio: I only feel really safe when I'm with you Buster: You are safe with me, but you won't have to leave until you're also safe everywhere else Buster: I'm gonna fix it Rio: yeah Buster: I know I've said it before but this time I swear Buster: He fucked up by giving us a decent clue Rio: it does narrow it down Rio: even if it isn't the class, and it's just the school in general Rio: that's the most we've ever had to go on Buster: Exactly Rio: but what do we do Rio: if we work it out Buster: I told you, I'll kill him Rio: so you're the only one that ends up in prison Buster: I'm not a fucking amateur, babe Rio: mm Rio: 🙄😏 Buster: Hilarious Buster: Nance will be a way more receptive audience though Rio: yeah, really in the mood for this study sesh now Buster: I can easily change hers if you wanna get out of it Rio: nah Rio: I need to keep things normal Rio: only just invited her over, it'd be weird to change my mind Buster: You can blame me for that as well, I don't give a shit Rio: I can't leave yet, like you said, distraction is probably a good thing Buster: Alright, what can I do to make it a more bearable one? Buster: [loads of her fave things getting delivered to this gaff like don't be scared to answer your door, look they are all from me, here's the order confirmations] Rio: I don't deserve you Buster: You don't deserve the bullshit he's putting you through, you've always deserved me Rio: I feel like I should just Rio: stop the streams Rio: I know you aren't meant to change your lifestyle and habits for them but it wouldn't have happened if I weren't doing that shit Rio: I know you aren't meant to change your lifestyle and habits for them but it wouldn't have happened if I weren't doing that shit Buster: Fuck that, we know he's from school Buster: Being able to see you every day pre-dates anything you've done online Buster: He could've known you since primary Rio: I guess Rio: but would he be bothered if there was less out there to stalk Buster: It's not your fault, Rio Buster: It can happen to anyone, you know that Rio: it's happening to me though Buster: Not 'cause of anything you've done Buster: Come on Rio: anyway Rio: I'm gonna enjoy all these treats Buster: Good Rio: how much should I bring? Rio: when I pack Buster: As much as you want, I'll send you money for if your cases are over the weight limit Rio: don't want it to look like I'm running away too hard but Buster: You're overthinking it, you never travel light anywhere, nobody'll notice Rio: I need options Buster: I'm not mad about it and I don't care if my parents are Rio: they're going to be Rio: you'll have to go to school, be 😇 to show I'm totally not a distraction Buster: You are, but I'll still go Buster: All that matters to me is that you feel safe Rio: I will do Rio: and I'll find ways to be useful to them as well as distracting to you Buster: Winning over Ava is basically the same thing as winning them over Buster: You've had loads of practice at that Rio: kids are easy Buster: She's easier than Grace, obviously Rio: wouldn't take much on Ava's part Rio: bless Buster: She'll be distracting at any rate Rio: I can take her to school and shit, free up some time for them Buster: Yeah, and once you've had some time, we can sort out getting your assignments and shit sent over Rio: I won't miss anything important Buster: It'll be fine Buster: I'll make sure it's fine, like Rio: I know you will Buster: You gonna facetime me into this study session or what then? Rio: depends Rio: are you going to be nice? Buster: To you Rio: well you're always nice to me Buster: Are you asking me to help Nance with her homework? Rio: how much do you think she'd appreciate that? Buster: She wouldn't, so of course I'll do it Rio: I can't with you two, honestly Buster: You love me, you don't even want her to come over Rio: I'm not getting in the middle of it Buster: You already are Rio: No I'm not, shh Buster: It's okay, I know you're on my side Rio: I love you more than anyone else in the world Rio: goes without saying Buster: I still really like hearing it Rio: You know you can hear it any time you want Buster: Is she there yet? Rio: nope, you remember how long that drive takes, even in an uber Buster: I'll call you then Rio: 🥰 Buster: [does obvs] Rio: I'll just be here counting down the minutes 'til you can hold me Buster: However long it feels, you'll be staying longer Rio: promise? Buster: I swear Rio: then I'm happy Buster: If you are, I am too Rio: I haven't even asked you how your days been Rio: I'm so rude Buster: Before and after I shot down gym girl there ain't much to report Rio: what did she look like? Buster: Every other girl in this postcode Rio: Blonde and skinny Buster: Yeah Rio: vaguely equine, dresses more like a nan than nan ever would Buster: I'll have to remember all that for the next one Rio: I can tell her myself if you like Buster: If you like Rio: Me? The jealous type? Buster: The jealous type and my type Rio: I better be Rio: only type Buster: You're the only one I've ever wanted or will ever want, you definitely don't need to add that to the list of shit that's worrying you right now Rio: I just like to hear it Buster: I'll tell you again then, I want you so much Rio: even without all this bullshit Rio: it's been too long Rio: I hate every second I'm not with you Buster: I know, me too Buster: I'm not gonna say he's done me a favour, but I am glad you're coming to stay Rio: I'll say it Rio: may as well get something good from it Buster: I'd rather you didn't have to deal with any of this bullshit, obviously Rio: of course Rio: I told you, I've never thought it was you, it's okay Buster: It's not okay that I haven't been able to do fuck all about this though Buster: I'm sorry Rio: Don't Buster: It's not good enough, I know that Buster: I'm gonna do better Rio: Stop it Buster: I mean it, Rio Rio: we've done everything we can Rio: it's not fair on me or you to act like we haven't Buster: I just hate this Rio: I know, baby Buster: You're the best thing that's happened to me, this shouldn't be happening to you Rio: It really could happen to anyone Rio: it's shit Rio: but you make me feel safe, that isn't nothing Buster: I'll calm down before you get here Buster: I swear Rio: you don't have to Rio: you can be mad, I am Rio: but you don't need to blame yourself, even if it's second to him, it's all on him Buster: I am angry but you've got the wrong twin if you reckon I'm willing to make any of this about me Buster: I'm here for you Rio: Trust me, I know Rio: she seems distracted herself recently Buster: Yeah? Rio: I'll try to work it out, not had time yet Rio: she won't say anything if you're on the phone though Buster: I don't have to be, if you wanna do some investigating Rio: I know you wanna know too Buster: I know if you get her started she'll talk about herself until you've gotten all of your own bullshit exists Rio: and you're a little nosy too, you can admit it Rio: I'll get the gossip Buster: She's still my sister Buster: 'Course I wanna know if she's being stalked as well or whatever Rio: You're cute Rio: and I do not think it's that Rio: obviously Buster: You know what I mean Rio: I do Rio: that's why I wanna know too Buster: Okay, tell me when you do Rio: 🧐 Rio: wouldn't suit the hat Buster: You'd suit anything, don't lie Rio: 😊 Rio: I mean if that's your thing I'll do my best Buster: If it was that wouldn't be the first you've heard of it Rio: be mad if it was Rio: you have to tell me exactly what you like so I can be it Buster: You are Buster: And I don't have, or want to have, any secrets from you Rio: secrets are boring Rio: and hard to keep Buster: Neither of us could ever be boring Buster: And I'll do whatever it takes to keep you forever Rio: You've got me Rio: not going anywhere Buster: Only closer to where I am, not further away Buster: Soon as your mum is back and your study session is over Rio: not that I need to do this homework now Rio: just be throwing subtle hints at Nance instead Buster: Be fucking typical her if she's getting bullied there as well Rio: I'd know if she was Rio: only have the two lessons with her but contrary to what the stalker suggests, I know most people well enough that they wouldn't Buster: Well Ava'll probably get a love life before she does, Christ knows what else it could be then Rio: ugh don't Rio: it's coming up with Edie for sure Rio: Jun is like Nancy and Billie isn't bothered thank god Rio: hate it Buster: Who's bothered about Edie then? Buster: Tell me your gossip Rio: It's just like the boys she hangs with are less useless stoner and more keep your eye on them types than Billie's friends Rio: and they aren't just friends types, I don't trust 'em Buster: Maybe I should be getting on a plane instead of you Rio: at least none of them are stupid Rio: especially not Eds Rio: have to hope anyway Buster: I've taught her how to protect herself physically, I reckon she can handle lads trying to get in her head Buster: Like you said Buster: She's no stupid kid Rio: Yeah, she has all the tools and advantages she can be given Rio: 💘 and hormones still make people stupid though Buster: I remember Rio: well yeah, ignoring the fact we'd be used as prime examples in that lecture Buster: Sure we have been, never too early for mum and dad to tell Ava what not to do Rio: As if we'll have started a trend Rio: if it wasn't you it'd be a really bad idea Buster: They should want her to have this, how I feel about you, how happy I am Buster: It's not as if they can actually judge us for who it's with Buster: This family are way past that Rio: You'd think Rio: I'm way past caring Rio: it was so Rio: I wasn't me without you Buster: I feel exactly the same, you know I do Buster: The only thing I've ever done wrong was not be with you, every bad thing I did or that was done to me can be traced back to that Buster: We're free now and this stalker isn't gonna make you feel otherwise any more, I'm not letting it happen for another fucking day Rio: we can get through anything, we've got the rest stacked against us and we're still strong Rio: as long as you love me, then there's nothing anyone can say or do Buster: I really fucking love you Rio: I love you Rio: endlessly Buster: [a flight he's booked her like this is happening no matter what excuse us fam] Rio: 🙏 Rio: I cannot wait Buster: Me either Rio: you can pick me up from the airport, right? Buster: Nothing could stop me Rio: Yay 🥰🥰🥰 Buster: You need me to help you with all that luggage Rio: it will be one suitcase Rio: and a sizeable handbag, thank you 😂 Rio: but I still need you Buster: I'll be early regardless Rio: you're the best Buster: No, I do my best, you don't even have to try Rio: You don't either Rio: but I will for you and I appreciate that you do Buster: I appreciate everything that you do Rio: you will Rio: that's the plan Buster: I do, whether or not shit goes to plan Buster: You're one of the strongest people I know, the least I can do is give you the reminder Rio: Buster Rio: it won't always be this dramatic, you know Rio: being together Buster: I don't care if it is, you're worth it Buster: And I'd endure the worst suffering I can possibly imagine to be with you if any alternative meant not being Rio: now you're just being hot about it on purpose Buster: I told you I miss you, nothing's changed Rio: I miss you all the time Rio: but I'm down for all the ways you make it worse Buster: [sends her a pic from when he was at the gym earlier like okay we're testing the waters but not very much yet lol] Rio: oh Rio: yeah, I would've flirted with you too Buster: What would you have said? Rio: Hmm Rio: ask you to check my form Buster: As long as you'd have time for how thorough I'd be, I don't have any problem with that Rio: Of course Rio: I'd ask you because you're clearly an expert Buster: And there's no need for me to hold back on my expertise as you're clearly so receptive to it, not to mention deserving Rio: Don't, I want you to show me exactly how you do it Buster: Never, I wouldn't wanna leave you with more questions than answers Rio: of course, but there are some things I could show you in return for all you're going to teach me Buster: Yeah? Buster: You've got yourself a deal, babe Rio: are you going to let me come to the gym with you really Buster: If you want to Buster: I'll try not to get too distracted at the prospect Rio: you look like that, obviously I want to Buster: [a pic of how he looks now like we can also stay in this bed where I currently am chilling] Rio: 🥺🥺 GIMME Buster: You're not meant to change your behaviour or habits for that cunt, remember Buster: Say please Rio: please Rio: please let me be in that bed right now Buster: [treat that gal to some more pics boy she's had a shit day] Rio: please be with me right now Rio: in me Buster: You know that's all I want Rio: you're perfect, Buster, you know that Buster: We're perfect for each other Rio: marry me Buster: As soon as we can, I will Rio: seriously Buster: I am being serious Rio: oh Buster: Once we're both 18 nobody can stop us Rio: yeah but Rio: nobody would come Buster: I only need you to turn up Rio: technically Buster: And actually, 'cause the rest of my family won't and like you said, I'm past caring Rio: if you were going to do it Rio: you'd want the big day, the venue, the clothes, the car Rio: everything proper Buster: If you were going to do it, you'd want your family there, you can say what you really mean Rio: we can't just do all that for two people Buster: We can do whatever we want Rio: I just wish people would be happy for us Buster: I know, I haven't properly asked you yet 'cause I want everything to be perfect for you and there's fuck all I can do to give you that Rio: it'll never happen, I know that Rio: I've accepted it, it's just hard to make total peace with Buster: There was a time when I reckoned we'd never happen Rio: yeah Buster: I don't care who or how many people I have to turn my back on for you, it'll never matter as much as us being together Rio: it shouldn't have to be like this Rio: it's bullshit Buster: Yeah, but it is, and I've made my choice Buster: You know the things I'd do differently and none of 'em are about not ending up here Rio: Me too Buster: Changing their minds is as likely as us changing ours, it's an old fashioned stand off, like Rio: True Rio: it's like, they forget they're meant to be anti-us sometimes though Rio: and it's just normal, like we're any other couple Buster: Maybe when we've has as many years as my parents, it will actually be considered normal Rio: you reckon? Buster: Worked for them Rio: I guess nan and granddad are sufficiently over it Rio: had competition though, didn't they Rio: don't think that's likely to repeat itself Buster: Fingers crossed Nance is hiding a dark enough secret to take at least some of my parents' attention nevertheless Rio: in your dreams, babe Buster: Why would I dream about her downfall when I could dream about your happiness? Rio: alright 😇 Buster: We're not married yet but in regards to that, what's mine is yours, babe Buster: And vice versa Rio: you know I want it too Rio: to be married to you, and have everything we want Buster: Then I'll make it happen, exactly how you want Buster: Where there's a will there's a way, yeah? Especially when it's my will getting involved Rio: I trust that Rio: you Buster: Good 'cause you can Buster: About this and everything else Rio: then that's settled Rio: and Nance is finally here Buster: I'll still be here if you need me Rio: 🧡🧡🧡 Rio: you focus on doing everything you possibly can before I get there so you can spend as much time with me as we've got Buster: Consider it done

[mysynthfetish]

Um, Yeah.

Well it's damn near March already. What the hell? Where does the time go?

The whole world is in a huff about COVID-19, and here in Japan too, obviously, but people are in full-on freakout mode. First thing they did was go on a panic-buying-spree of masks, like surgical masks, you know, the ones everyone here wears when it's either flu or hay fever season. So, there's a shortage of masks now. "ONE BOX PER CUSTOMER!!" signs at the shops with any remaining stock. For me, the funniest thing is that masks do not prevent the wearer from catching a virus. The seal around the face is not perfect, so guess what, shit don't work. Unless you strap on a military grade chemical warfare motherfucker of a mask, like with the filter cans and shit? Nope. I mean, even the homepage of the WHO where you can find a coronavirus FAQ says so ("BUT THE WHO IS CONTROLLED BY THE UN AND THEY'RE SECRETLY OUT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD SO YOU CAN'T TRUST THAT!!!!" yeah yeah yeah. Shame. On. You). But nahhhh who cares about actually using your head and thinking about how viruses spread. See, the masks work (sorta) when worn by people already infected, as they trap most of the fun stuff ejected by a sneeze or a cough. Not all of it. We can still hope for some fun to be shared among the general populace can we not? Ahhh but it's easier to be a total idiot and follow the herd mentality and panic-buy useless shit. Then there was the fiasco with the cruise ship and not letting passengers disembark, and then it turns out a number were let off without having to go through screening, but the Chinese are still being confined to quarters blah blah blah. Jeeezus Fucking Christ EVERYTHING is made in China anyway, from rubber dog shit to the (probably) fake ICs in your military hardware to your beloved smartphones and related devices, shit, even the incessant machine-diarrhea geyser of clone synths too, so what the hell is the big deal about a potentially pandemic-level megavirus every few years? Chinavirus. Next in the ongoing series. Personally, I don't really care where the viruses originate, and to tell the truth, I get a warm feeling inside when people lose their shit over stuff like this, and even warmer when the death toll rises and rises. Can't think of a better species to get a good culling than the old homo sapiens. Heh. Mister Misanthrope at your service! But anyway.....

Found this ancient beast sitting forgotten and forlorn in a closet at work. It's a Luxman 38FD "High Fidelity Stereo Integrated Amplifier" made around 1970 (like me!). It is in near fucking mint condition. HEAVY. AS. FUCK. And the winningest part of the whole thing besides it being destined for the Big Garbage pile and as a result free for the taking? IT WORKS. Oh, and even better...

IT'S A VACUUM TUBE AMP!!! Those are the main tubes, 50CA10, pretty much but not totally unobtanium. Yeah, they fucking glow a warm orangey red, and after a bit you can see blue vapor inside. Well, if you turn off all the lights and take the top cover off. It runs hot as fuck too. I was just shocked the thing worked. It's sitting comfortably atop the desk in the lair, where you'd normally park a printer, with a pair of Yamaha NS-100X speakers on risers above it. Sounds great. There's considerably more noise (hiss?) than a modern amp, but with the volume knob raised to about 10 o'clock, it's already loud enough that the hiss isn't even a consideration anymore, and any louder would be asking for trouble with the neighbors. I can't believe it because the amp is supposed to be a mere 30 watts per channel. I guess 30 watts from vacuum tubes is a hell of a lot different from even triple that from a modern amp. LOUD!!! So yay me.

Oh and speaking of viruses....

I was watching this one on the auction for about a month and a half. The opening bid started out at around $1700 but nobody bid, and the auction ended, and one option here on the yahoo auction is for an automatic re-listing with the opening bid discounted by a certain percent. I watched for a while, then just when I'd forgotten about it, it came up in the look-at-me feed and the price was down to a grand so I bid on it and won. I had one of these before and regretted selling it, thus the TI Polar in my arsenal now, but the 61-key TI has THE BEST keys ever. Feels so good to play. Fatar! I thought yeah ok I'll just say see ya to the Polar and call it even. But... Hmm... Wait... One thing led to another and in the end I decided to keep both the viruses and... and...... and...... sell the ION. Say WHAT?!?! After all the work and repairs and maintenance and customizing LEDs and and and and.... Yeah. It's a hell of a synth, no doubt about it, but I think anything with the Alesis logo on it has a very definite shelf-life. The pots are gonna go, a few are acting up already, and those are unobtanium unless you wanna shell out the dosh and buy from syntaur. You can't get NOS pots either. So... After some serious deep-thinking and careful consideration and deliberation I had to say to myself, "self, it's a wonderful machine capable of some great sounds, but it's only 8-voice polyphonic, there are barely any effects to mention, ok sure the mod matrix and plethora of filter models and waveshaping are fantastic, but you know how ridiculously MORE powerful the Virus TI is almost every respect!" And I admitted defeat. To myself. Weird, I know. But there you go. I don't think I know anyone with two Virus TI (or TI2) synths in their collection. Maybe Anthony Rother. I know he has two IONs. 

Ahhhh but this 61-key virus wasn't without problems. Uh, well, OK one BIG problem. The power supply shat itself when I turned it on for the first time. The LCD sorta flashed, there was a brief sign of life with some of the LEDs, but then blip! Nothing. Aaaaargh! Unseat the power cable, reseat it, try again. Nothing, just a high-pitched whine that was getting louder. I put my head up against the front panel, listening for where the whine was coming from, and figured out it was the far right side. That's where the PSU is. Then suddenly the sound changed to a higher pitch that swept downwards over the course of a few seconds, all the while sputtering like it had a downward sawtooth filter on it, then POP! No more sound. When I opened the case up, I immediately remembered that for whatever reason, Access decided to go with a PSU like you'd use with a laptop computer, the big brick-like deals, and that they'd carefully bracketed the brick in so that the eyeglass-socket for the plug lined up with the hole in the rear panel. OK so all I needed to do was find a same-rating PSU and then go about modding the bracket so cosmetically it would look from-the-factory. Incidentally, I contacted Access and asked about parts, but the rep said they don't have any more PSUs for the TI series, only ones for the TI2 series, and that they aren't the same size so when they do the repair, they put a DC jack on the rear panel and the PSU gets left out—goes from internal to external if you catch my drift. Well, no thank you, I do not care for that approach, no sir, I didn't wanna go that route at all. So, thanks to having access to a drill press and diamond-saw dremel tools at work, I made the necessary mods to the bracket, padded it a bit so it would securely hold the new PSU in place, and in the end you can't tell it isn't a factory PSU (from the outside). Yay me, part two.

This is the bracket, post choppy-grindy. Yeah so I "secured" the cabling with Scotch 33+... Hey, from the factory it was held down with hot glue!

Yeah that's where it attached to the PCB. CHEEKY!!!!!!!

Not bad, right? You'd never know. But I've told you, so now you know. Oh and the PSU was $22 from a local parts chain (Marutsu). I think Access wants about $50 but I think that includes free shipping anywhere in the world. I'm just glad it's working fine now.

Other goings on... I've sold the Timeline and Space pedals, and used part of the proceeds to pick up a Sony DPS-D7 delay and a DPS-R7 reverb to use in their place. But the D7 had a wonky input knob that actually broke off in my fucking hand the second time I went to use it. That pot is super unobtanium, so I thought I'd just epoxy the broke-off-bit and not worry about separately controlling the input levels for the L and R channels (does anyone even DO that?)... Here's the pot.

Even after it was epoxied back together, it was fucking bent as fuck. Red line shows the angle, blue arrow shows where the epoxy ghetto fix went down. I saw another D7 listed as-is for $10 and nobody bid so I won it, and I had intended to just cannibalize the pot, but it turns out that it has a newer OS and it works fucking fine, so that was kind of a head-scratcher. People are weird. This delay is stupid deep. There's a multi-tap algorithm that has like 40 separately programmable taps, each with its own level, pan, feedback, and all that. The reverb (R7) is just as insane with parameters... Dudes, and dudettes, seriously, you need some deep-sea rated scuba gear to really get to grips with these Sony DPS motherfuckers. DEEEEEEEEEEEP AS FUCK. I've owned these before too. Had the F7 Filter too. That thing had a 40-band vocoder and a multi-part digital drum synth in it!? Man I think the engineers at Sony had access to some GOOD drugs back when they were working on this line of effects processors. Seriously. I mean, I love programming, but even I was intimidated by the sheer amount of programmability in these things. The ones I had before were a bit noisy, but these aren't at all. Strange. Fun shit though. Oh and there's this:

Ah fuck, looks a bit out of focus. That right there is a TOA DE-1000 delay. Rare as shit, and this one is in NEW condition. Insane! I've had this one on my radar for a while. Why? Because it's fucking WEIRD!!!! So the max delay time is 255ms or something really not that long at all, but you've got three to control: Left, Center and Right. Individual times (LEDs) and levels (white sliders), plus global wet/dry and feedback, AND modulation time and depth sliders. SLIDERS!!?? Ok it only has four memory slots, and no MIDI, but you can get up to some good mischief with this thing. Last two goodies to blab about:

Top: SONICWARE ELZ_1. What a weirdo synth. I heard that it's a raspberry pi under the hood but really? Who cares. It can do some off the wall shit. A handful of wacky synth engines, topped off by four effects processors at the end. And it has a speaker. My only complaint is no DIN MIDI, just USB and you have to buy a class compliant dealie. I suppose I should do so before I forget. Sounds pretty damn good though, and it does things that I've not heard other synths do. Built well. Fun to play and fun to program. Runs on batteries. Worth looking into. I was so impressed with this that I backed their next project (a groove box type thing it seems). Bottom: KORG AM8000R. This fucker does some WEIRD SHIT! I had one before (and its delay counterpart, the DL8000R) and for whatever reason didn't hold on to them. I think I was looking for more bread and butter, set it and forget it type effects. This was really cheap and it's in great shape. I don't think so many people know about these. Relatively easy to program, and you can get some really good, usable stuff as well as some super far out WTF stuff. The WARP! knob is good fun too.

Oh I suppose it's worth mentioning that I had an album released by Anti Gravity Device out of Tokyo a few weeks ago. Let's see if I can find a link...

https://anti-gravity-device.bandcamp.com/album/black-rainbows-agd036

Have a listen. It's stuff I recorded from about November through December last year, maybe even the first week of January this year. Live jam format, no master sequencer, wish I was an octopus because two arms and ten fingers just wasn't enough type stuff. All hardware. Fun!

So, my invisible tumblrpeeps, it's been a busy 2020 so far here. More things in the works. Keep your eyes peeled. Stay well. Watch out for number one, and don't step in number two. (thanks, Carlin!)

[spootiliousrps]

Unique Sabriel

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like Sabriel.

Stranger: [|Supernatural. Sam realizes that he has never been quite alive, ever since Jake killed him. He denies it, but finally it becomes rather... Clear. Ghost!Dark!Sam. You can continue as /any/ character from Supernatural. Any ship works. Can play in any season after season 2.|] Sam had died many times. Over and over, really. But that one time Jake killed him? That was something else. He was supposed to be dead there, if it wasn't for his brother making that deal. That deal. A deal that was never fully explained. A deal as onesided as could be. Sam had been brought back, but differently than one thought. This, though, took a long time to show. Now? Years after that? Sam felt it. A 'virus' clawing at his soul. He finally realized that he had never been brought back in the actual sense. But he was a spirit. Almost like a revenant, but not quite. After Sam found out about this, he kept denying it. But now it became physical. It was during a hunt, that Sam suddenly was overcome by pain. He had to retreat from the nest they were clearing, back to the Impala. He felt bad for leaving his brother in there, but it only were two or three vampires left. So who cared. He was sitting on the ground behind the car, just leaning against it, trying to breath normally. But it was difficult. As his body was flickering in and out of existence. Yeah. A ghost with a body brought a lot of complications with it, especially when that body began to basically stop physically existing- Fun, huh?

You: [Would you prefer I pick up as Dean or Gabriel?]

Stranger: [I don't mind! However it works better for you! :)]

You: Gabriel was enjoying a nice hot bath with a few of his trusted 'friends', a bottle of champagne in one hand and a Snickers in the other. Everything was just Dandy... That was until he was suddenly displaced. A sudden force jerked him out of the water and flung him halfway across the country. He had just enough time to materialize some clothes and catch himself before he could fall onto his face. "What the f-" He began as he stumbled before he caught sight of the flickering form. It took him a moment to recognize the freakishly tall human. "Oh this is just peachy." He huffed, Last he had seen the Winchesters they tried to gank him. Granted that thought he was a trickster and Gabriel did put on a damn good show if he said so himself... and he did. "What do you want?" He huffed stepping closer as Sam flickered again, causing the archangel's brows to furrow. He wondered briefly how the Winchesters could have summoned him, not knowing what he was... but he was distracted by the sight before him, his concern shifting from self preservation to hesitant curiosity.

Stranger: Sam jerked together when he heard a voice suddenly. He glanced up, shivering the slightest bit, frowning. He was obviously confused. For many reasons. He of course didn't know why Gabriel was here. Because he didn't realize he was called. Nonetheless, he couldn't say he was upset. Because he needed some help right now. "I-I'm not even going to question anything, but- But can you somehow get me away from here?" He asked, quickly, through the pain. "Dean can't see me like this- He's- He's going to be completely confused and I don't know- It's not gonna be good-" He was obviously in sheer panic. Sheer panic over what was happening. "I know you probably don't want to help me, but you are here and I am here- So why don't you help me-" He added. He really didn't know what he was saying anymore. He just had to things on his mind. To get away from this place. And to have the pain stop. Nothing else. [Sorry by the way if my writing is a bit all over the place, I just settled at the laptop and got talked at and all. Your writing is really amazing though!]

You: [No worries. ^.^ I'm at work so bare with me as well I will be replying quickly the majority of the times but there might be a minute or two here or there where I get distracted. So, sorry in advance. ]

Stranger: [That's cool!]

You: [Also thank you. Your not so bad yourself ;P]

Stranger: [Why, thank you :)]

You: Gabriel considered it briefly as he eyed the younger Winchester skeptically, trying to decide what he was trying to pull over his eyes. After a moment, however he sighed with a shrug. "Well, I've never been one to turn down going home with a stranger." He teased before snapping his fingers. The world around them was instantly replaced with his simplistic flat and overly plush furniture. "But you're going to owe me one. Of course, we can discuss payment later." He added an afterthought. He stepped forward reaching out as if to poke Sam in the shoulder curiously.

Stranger: Sam seemed a bit startled, as he was suddenly transported like that. He did his best not to fall over into any direction. Seriously. He could barely see anything that was more than a few feet away. But he could hear fine. So that was good. "I probably owe like 10 people something already, another one won't be bad-" He forced out, swallowing thickly at the still remaining pain. The flickering didn't stop. Maybe it calmed just a little, due to his vanishing panic, but it was there. And if one was to touch him, it'd feel like that. Like he wasn't there. Well, there was a freezing feeling instead, of course. But that was it. It was really like he was only an image, becoming more faint some seconds, before regaining stability the other.

You: Gabriel's hand drifted through the other man. For him, for an angel, it didn't feel like nothing. Angels were incorporeal they dealt with souls directly, though he was certain Sam was in too much pain to notice the subtle touch of his grace. Still, he wiggled his fingers inside of Sam's massive shoulder and hummed. He could feel the man's pain, the panic... the wrongness of what he was becoming. For a brief moment Gabriel's usual playful smile pursed into a thin line, showing the rare sight of his concern before his gaze met Sam's and he gave what sounded like a careless laugh. "Well Sammich, you've really got yourself into a pickle haven't you?" He mused before straightening. "Wanna tell this old trickster what you've been up to?" He pressed, snapping his fingers and materializing a large chair beneath him.

Stranger: Sam glanced at him, not really happy with his antics. But grateful anyways. After all, he did still somewhat help him. "I-... I've been up to nothing…" He mumbled, weakly. "I wish I knew what I did. I wish- Okay? But I don't. This just began happening a few weeks ago…" He shook his head slightly. He was still thinking that maybe he was wrong. He still believed this wasn't what he thought. But all this? The not actually being physical part. The cold part. And these… Thoughts… He'd been having. They obviously hinted to things. Sam, as a hunter, had seen this so many times before, but he didn't want it to be real. So it wasn't. To him at least. But he didn't lie when he said he didn't know what happened. Because he didn't. Sure, the whole 'Special Children Hunger games' wasn't too long ago. But long enough for Sam to disregard as being unimportant to this. "Seriously, it just happened some morning. And it only got worse than then- I-I don't know what's happening, I... I don't…." Yeah. He was desperate. Desperate for someone to just give him a definitive answer. To talk through the lie he was telling himself. Because he was telling himself he wasn't just turning into a ghost. But he was. However, he was a mere spirit. A mere soul with little to no importance anymore.

You: Gabriel arched a brow at Sam's panicked rambling but he listened none the less. He actually kinda felt bad for the guy. Sure he tried to kill him but Gabriel didn't fault him for that. He /was/ a hunter after all... and human... or was... Regardless he wasn't the first being that had tried to kill him and wouldn't be the last. He gave another huff, this one a bit more annoyed as he leaned on his elbow. "Alright, calm down. Its really hard to take anything your saying seriously when you're flickering like that." He brushed off as if he didn't care. He gave another snap of his fingers, attempting to stabilize Sam's form. It wouldn't last long, and certainly wasn't permanent but would do in a pinch.

Stranger: Sam clearly felt that. Because it took some of the pain away with it. He was silent for a bit, before pressing his lips and looking down. "Thank you…" Was the first thing he muttered. He felt so stupid. So weak, even. He shouldn't be so... Acting so... Weak. He had worse, yet, this got to him so much. Probably because it threatened his existence how he knew it. There was a reason why hunters were burned when they died. The worst nightmare of a hunter was to turn into a spirit. Because 99% of spirits are evil. And that? That wasn't a nice thought. "I... I-It's just... Hard to calm down..." He tried to talk slower than before. "I really don't know what to do. And I can't tell Dean- If it really is what I think it is? I... Well, I know it won't end well… It really won't…" He knew Dean loved him and Sam loved him just as much. They were brothers. But sometimes Sam asked himself if Dean would kill him, if he had to. Heh. Their dad would certainly.

You: Gabe's brow arched again. "And what do you think it is?" He asked curiously. Gabe honestly had never seen something like this before which definitely made him interested but this was also dangerous. "I mean, obviously you're kinda dead... only... you're not dead.... but your not undead..." He explained before laughing. "Man, Romero would have a field day with you! Night of the Living Dead, my ass." He mused.

Stranger: Sam let out a small huff. "I... Am I turning into a ghost? I mean… It sounds stupid. Even when I say it, okay? Joke about it all you want. All the flickering, that's one thing. That could be anything. But things freeze. Stuff stops working- It's all like I'm being followed by a spirit. Just that the spirit is me- But... But that can't be true- I mean- I-I'm not dead, right? When I died Dean got me back, so I'm fine- I should be fine-" The panic was back in his voice. And it sounded so not like him. It was mental pain, now. The thoughts bothering him that this was actually happening. Ugh- He knew it was happening. He knew he was right- But he didn't want to be right for once.

You: "So thats what happened." Commented in realization. "You went and got yourself killed." He tisked with a shake of his head before shrugging. "Well, you are only human. It was bound to happen at some point. I'm actually a little surprised that you and your brother lasted this long." He admitted, tapping his chin in contemplation. "Man, I bet Daddy dearest is having a giant fit right now." He mumbled under his breath. God always hated it when his plans went array. That was one of the many reasons Gabriel had left. "So... Who did big brother Dean make a deal with to bring you back?" He asked curiously, knowing he hadn't answered Sam's questions yet.

Stranger: Sam looked back up, frowning as he was asked more questions. But he could only shrug. "Some crossroad demon. I wouldn't know. I was sort of… You know… Dead. At first I didn't even really know. But it was sort of clear… But... But that's not-..." He paused slightly. "The way you're talking about it? It's like... Is that what's really happening to me? Because in that case, just kill me for real. Why- Why is there no reaper to take me?" That was honestly a good question. But to be fair, this wasn't how people usually died and turned into spirits. Maybe the reaper got bored of waiting. Or didn't even know it was time. Basically- Sam didn't even have the choice to give up and go beyond. Great. Because he would rather do that than being stuck in the vail.

Stranger: [By the way, just saying, if it dies, let's use a tag. Like... GN1234 or something. Pretty simple]

You: If Gabriel had a heart it would have probably broken for the man. Wishing death rather than living as a horrible unnatural creature... He could certainly relate. He was silent for a moment, still studying the hunter. Gabriel was a very impulsive being, he had been for millennial now; it bit him in the ass now and again but it never stopped him from making split second decisions just as it wouldn't stop him now. "Well thats what he gets for making a deal with a demon." He mused softly. "You're not a ghost... at least not yet... and theres no reaper because they have their own rules. If there was a deal made then Death has an agreement with the Demons that he won't interfere. " He added. "I'm betting that beefhead of a brother of yours didn't read the fine print." He shrugged before pointing at the younger man. "He wanted you back and he got exactly what he asked for. You're body is here but your spirit isn't fully attached. You're hanging on by threads that will wear down more and more as time passes. Which means you'll eventually separate from that swimsuit model you're attached to; becoming full ghost." He acknowledged. "At least thats my guesstimate."

You: [Sounds good.]

Stranger: Sam just listened. And he didn't like any of it. He really didn't. "Well- Who said you had to be right." He suddenly said, which was clashing with what he said before. How he explained his situation before, saying he thought he might become a spirit only. But it... It was affecting him in many ways. Mentally, of course, as well. Being a ghost brought a lot of mind stuff with it. Because it changed up your whole mind. You were fixated on something. You didn't care for others. And more. Maybe other things. It was always different. And scary. "But... I-I don't… Have another explanation…. S-So..." He did realize that at least. He didn't know what to say. He felt like shit now. "What am I supposed to do? I'm sorry I'm asking so much of you- But I just don't know what… I don't know how I should feel. What I should do. What I /can/ do." It wouldn't be long until his body would just make poof. It was weird. Because it wasn't… His body wouldn't be left. It would become part of the ghostly entity. Whether that was good or not was questionable. And another good question? Could he even get killed-killed then? No body to burn. No object he was hanging at. Nothing. He was so confused.

You: "Well..." Gabriel replied as he stood, moving over to a small table covered in food, and picked up a plate of fruit. He popped a grape into his mouth and began to chew before answering, leaning a hip against the display. "The way I see it, you have a few options. Numbero Uno: You accept that your doomed and turn into a full on episode of Ghostbusters, ultimately forcing your brother to hunt you down, though... I'm not really sure how he'd kill you... I mean... You're kinda the brains of the operation and you wouldn't be a normal poltergeist, ya know?" He shrugged before eating another. "You could make another deal with a crossroads demon, though my money is on that backfiring but hey, you're a Winchester; you guys always fuck up beyond all reason before managing to fix it with something even more fucked." He pointed out before pausing. "Or... I can help fix you." He offered.

Stranger: Sam looked at him. This guy was really something special. You know, Sam thought he himself had issues. But this guy? Holy shit. He was weird. But... A good weird. Sam didn't dislike it- It was somewhat… Humorous. "I think we all know I would prefer the last option…" He admitted, calming down once again. Giant damn moodswings. "I would really appreciate it, too…" Even if he didn't know how this could be fixed. Usually, things that were connected to deals? They were set. Of course, they can be broken some ways. But mostly? Mostly said demons get what they want in the end. In this case? Ruin two Winchesters. Get the soul of one and make the other nothing more than one. As easy as that. "I mean, I'm sure being a ghost is fun, if you're into that sort of stuff, but I'd rather not. I prefer being able to, you know, exist physically…" He said with a small shrug. It was weird. Sam thought it might be unpleasant to be around Gabriel. But it just wasn't. He was somewhat of a hope, even. And fun. Even if Sam feared that he might do something bad any second.

You: Gabriel set the plate back down and straightened, rolling his shoulders as if prepping for manual labor. "You should really be careful what you wish for kiddo." He reminded. "Making a deal with a Trickster can be as bad as making on with a demon." He pointed out before moving to where Sam was still sitting on the floor. "This will make two favors." He added. "And this last one... I'm not sure if you're going to be able to pay up." He sighed before a hand went to Sam's chin to tilt his head back, leaning in close, close enough that their breaths mingled with one another. "Do you still want to do this?" He asked, gaze lowering to the larger man's lips. He wasn't going to kiss him, that was a demon thing. No, he didn't need that. But the closer they were the stronger his grace would be when it transfered. Still, he was curious how good of a kisser Sam would be. It was a distant thought though, as he waited for an answer.

Stranger: Sam didn't mind that, really. He trusted any being more than a demon. That was the way it was. He disgusted demons. So much. Nor did he mind the amount of favors, really. But one thing was surprising- When the other suddenly came VERY close. It was something he didn't expect. "U-Uh..." He let out the smallest noise of surprise, wanting to inch back- Yet not doing so. "I-I honestly don't know, but- But I suppose- I mean, yes- Not like I have a choice-" He said, in an awkward tone. Because right now? He felt awkward. Fact was, sure this guy was an asshole. And a murderer. Or… Something. Well- He was... He did… /Things/. Sam couldn't wrap his head around that to this day. But he still trusted him. Because it wasn't like he did anything necessarily… Super... Bad. Okay. Okay- A few people died. But still. Mostly it was in good spirit. Or something. Long story short- Sam was trusting Gabriel. Not as much as Dean, but still.

You: Gabriel tilted his head. "Alright, Sammich, you asked for it, just remember that." He teased with a small grin. His gaze began to glow a bright gold and the bluish white sliver of his grace escaped from his parted lips just an inch or so away from Sam's, drifting to the other man and entering him. Gabriel never really knew what it felt like to a human when they took in a part of an angels grace. He wasn't even sure if they noticed as long as it wasn't the full being. For Sam he would bet that it wasn't necessarily pleasant or unpleasant, it simply was. Gabriel straightened, his still golden gaze drifting over the seams of Sam's soul and watching as his grace wove around the tattered edges of the the magnificently bright essence that made of Sam. It wove its way through it, attaching it back to the vessel like a bandage. It would do nothing but hold Sam's soul in place for awhile, eventually allowing Sam's soul to absorb it, fusing into one being... something not quite an angel but not quite a human either and certainly not a nephelim. Sam would be something new... in time. The powers that he'd come to realize would be unique. It was something Gabriel was far more curious to see than he should be. Still, Gabriel had never done this particular trick before and it had a surprising effect. He could still sense his grace in the man, the sensation of it rubbing against the other man's soul was... off putting... no that wasn't quite the right word... it was... strange, of course... but... just... different. He couldn't help the frown that played on his lips as he lost himself in thought, still unwittingly staring at the man.

Stranger: Yeah. This was- This was /not/ what Sam expected would happen. He didn't even know /what/ just happened. And he tried to think about it, but frick- It was so /weird/. And he felt weird. And he didn't know whether to like or dislike it. And as it was over? There was just... Complete silence, as he still tried to figure out what had just happened. What the other just did. Silence. Really. Everything Sam could manage. After a few seconds of stares and more… Silence- Sam finally spoke up. He could… Feel whatever that was inside of him. Faintly. But he could. It was warm. Not an ew warm. An aw warm. "What… What was that- What did you… What did you do....?" He asked, voice almost… Shy. Because he felt so taken aback. So... Like he had just witnessed-... Who knows. The miracle of birth? A bird getting hit by a train? Well, most certainly something shocking, new and... Honestly weird. Basically.

You: [brb]

Stranger: [Take your time :) Do you wanna exchange something by the way? So we can reconnect? I really like this and you're so good!]

You: [Sure my email is spootilious@gmail.com if that works or do you want a tag?]

Stranger: [Nah, email works! Mine is T******************@gmail.com. Just so we are connected already :)]

You: [omfg "not an ew warm. An aw warm." I fucking love it!]

Stranger: [People always say they love it when I write that weirdly, idk why xD]

Stranger: [But thank chu]

You: [lol I think because its unique. But I can certainly see why the like it. It also might be because they relate to those kind of thoughts?]

Stranger: [Why, I'm glad you like it anyways. I sometimes think I might be overdoing it? I write it from the characters emotion standpoint. Like, when they're scared or panicked, I tend to make the writing quick. So if they're flustered, I tend to make the writing more awkward and more thought through. When they're happy, I try making it happy. Because- Atmosphere. But I think your writing is special too. It's good. Like- Novel kinda good. I can imagine it so well!]

You: Gabriel blinked, the glow fading from his gaze in an instant. "I fixed you." He answered as if it was nothing at all. In fact, he gave a small shrug to emphasis the nonchalance of it all. "A thank you would be nice." He teased. "Kids these days, I swear." He huffed but obviously wasn't offended in the least.

You: [Aw Ty! Yeah... I'm a English major so naturally I think my own writting is lacking so hearing that someone likes it is appreciated. ^.^]

Stranger: Sams eyes widened the slightest bit as he heard that. "Thank you-! I-I just... I mean…" He paused, unsure how to phrase it. After all, how was he supposed to phrase 'What the hell did you just do' in a way it sounded grateful? What was whatever just snaked its way inside of him- Ugh, wording it that way was also weird. "I just want to know /how/ you fixed me... And what that was- I mean… It's inside of me now- Whatever… I-I can feel it. It's… Weird." He blinked slightly. "Not- Not bad weird, no-" He quickly added afterwards, not wanting to hurt the other in any way. He was sort of helping him after all. Even if Sam didn't know how. So... Uh... Yeaah. "I just wanna know what you did… Okay?"

Stranger: [Aww, no problem!! But that's cool! I wanna become an English teacher when I'm done studying. My English may not be perfect, but well.]#

Stranger: [Hey, I've got to go to dinner. Will you reply on email? :)]

You: [sure]

Stranger: [Awesome! See you then! :D Love this so much!]

Stranger has disconnected.