#and esp mad abt me saying it was totally worth it for me i knew the risk and id take that risk again if i knew for sure id get covid

[danteinthedevildom]

Ngl I’ve been thinkin over the brother’s fears stuff from the most recent (?) lessons (bc I’m a dirty cheat and saw spoilers so ofc I went and looked up as much shit as I could) and like,

Ok shovin thots under the cut bc it got long oop. Also bc spoilers but y’know.

1 - Lucifer thinkin the “light” (which is ofc God lbr) was his fear despite not fearin it at all is p. weird. Like there was no hesitation, no fear. He just looked at it and went “ew it’s you never thot I’d see you again” and killed it. So clearly that’s NOT his actual fear. Def. Simeon’s I think, like he says a lil later.

So either Lucifer knew it was Simeon’s and “claimed” it to save Simeon’s feelins or smthn or he legit figured it was his fear bc the only thing he could think to be scared of is the guy who threw him out. 

Which like. Is such a fuckin non-answer re: his actual fear (tho he did say once goin back to the Celestial Realm was his “greatest fear” or smthn so maybe that’s still true so they didn’t figure that bringin it up again’d be that fun), but is interestin bc it says a lot abt how he sees God. 

Like. He got beat and kicked out and had his sister (almost) killed, but he’s still got 0 goddamn fear of his dad. Literal creator of everything God with a capital G don’t scare him. I figure bc he already did the worst thing he could’a done, and he survived that, so what else’s there to fear?

Tho it bein Simeon’s fear is... hm. Def. makes it sound like Simeon’s fearin seein God again. Either bc that’s just smthn any angel’d fear - maybe they only see God one-on-one if they’ve done smthn wrong so that’d be like seein your headteacher pop up outta nowhere, knowin he only comes outta the teacher’s room when you done fucked up - or bc he’s hidin smthn that makes seein God a really Bad Thing. Guilt or worries over some kinda sin? 

I mean duh. He’s in love with MC. That ain’t a hidden thing anymore. He’s kissed MC plenty times and I think even said the L-word once or twice. That’s def. grounds to get murderised (as we know, RIP Lilith). 

Also hella interestin in a metaphorical sense tho. Like, God’s a light. Simeon’s scared of somethin comin to light. Da-dum-tss, but what a hella cool way of showin that it’s a (technical) secret that’s got him all wound up.

2 - Mammon and Levi both fearin demon-form Lucifer is... understandable, but also kinda sad. Like, legit sad, not “wow ur so sad lol”. 

Levi’s way of sayin it makes sense tho. Lucifer only goes full demon form when he’s hella pissed, or outta control. He’s so damn powerful he don’t need to go into that form often, bc he can handle p. much anythin without it - plus he’s just got a p. good control on himself, so no accidental demon-form slips.

Unless ofc he’s so fuckin angry that it just leaps out. We’ve seen it. He gets murderous, and boom - form’s out. Or, situation’s so damn dire it’s got him on edge, and boom - form’s out. Him bein in demon form’s never good.

But him bein in demon form and after them is even worse.

Makes me wonder tho. If it’d just been angry Lucifer, why’d Levi specify it as his demon form’s anger? He gets angry at them hella often, and Mams esp. is strung up p. much daily, so clearly they’re not scared of him bein angry at them. 

It’s him bein angry at them while enraged. So either they’ve both pissed him off before bad enough that he’s gone full demon form, and whatever happened then was so fuckin terrifyin they’ve never recovered from it, 

Or they know that demon form Lucifer is scary shit, and even tho he’s not gone for them like that before, it’s smthn they’re terrified of in principle. Like, you’ve seen your dad mad on the phone before, and he’s never yelled at you like that, but you know he’s capable of it and that’s terrifyin as shit bc what if you do smthn that pisses him off enough to yell at you like that?

A lil part of me leans towards the latter bc tho they were scared it wasn’t smthn Levi said as tho it’d happened. More like smthn he’s hypothetically scared of. Plus idk what times Lucifer’d be so pissed he goes full rage at them? His demon form’s only really come out when the family’s in danger. Even shit like Lotan bein summoned don’t usually end in a demon form Lucifer (I’m p. sure anyway).

3 - Ok so like who was surprised by this. Asmo’s beauty is p. integral to who he is. He’s nothin if he’s not beautiful, and that’s what I think scares him. Not the bein ugly, but that bein ugly means he’s not Asmo.

Means he can’t get the attention he needs, can’t be loved by ppl, won’t get all the adoration and affection - he won’t be popular. And Asmo hella needs to be reassured that he’s pretty and loved. It’s who he is and what his identity is based on. 

Plus we’ve seen I’m p. sure a couple scenes where he’s been a lil worried/nervous abt if MC likes him for him. Beyond the beauty. He legit don’t think there’s anythin worth lovin if he’s not pretty, so ofc him bein ugly’s gonna be his biggest fear. Bc who’s gonna love him then. 

4 - Also smthn no-one’s gonna be surprised by. It’s his whole sense of identity. That’s not gonna go away for him overnight, y’know? The fact that it was angel Lucifer, tho - not just, like, normal Lucifer - was a p. cool touch.

That’s his roots. Not Lucifer the demon - Lucifer the angel. That’s what he’s based on. Smthn he never was but was always part of. 

He’s legit just the Lil Hal-Dirk connundrum which jfc that’s showin my fandoms huh. Is smthn that comes from smthn else its own unique person, or is it just a copy that’s always gonna get drawn back to what it was? How can it be original when everythin it is came from smthn else? 

That’s a hell of an identity crisis. Even bein Wrath and bein p. physically different and even likin different shit’s not enough to stop that feelin of ig imposter syndrome? Or of just bein a fragment of smthn else. Esp. when you know everyone else’s their own damn being. No one can understand where he’s comin from bc his “birth” was totally unique. He’s not just, like, Lucifer’s son or whatever - he’s legit a part of Lucifer’s emotions that just got plopped out one day. 

(Except ofc he’s not bc Lucifer knew he was different and felt him like a different presence for a while before the Fall but Satan’s got his memories and that’s kinda like bein someone anyway, ain’t it?)

So yeah, not surprisin, but also? I rlly hope he gets confident in who he is one day. Legit the idea that he’s still sittin there goin “who am I?” just hurts. 

5 - This bitch got trauma. Lbr it was either gonna be Belphie or it was gonna be Lilith and we all knew that was comin. Beel’s still not over the death of Lilith and his “role” in it (bc survivor’s guilt is a bitch and he’s still thinkin “not being able to save two ppl in two different places at the same time” is a sin), so losin anyone else is gonna hurt him.

But bein the reason he lost them? Oh that’s gonna hurt him even more. Esp. with the blame he’s still puttin on himself. It’s one thing to be like the passive cause that someone died but bein the active cause? Even by accident? Poor Beel. 

I don’t think anythin could’a been worse for him. That ain’t just a fear, that’s outright smthn he’s still strugglin with PTSD over. Like hell no shit he almost/did break down over it, that’s just shovin a trigger right in his face. 

6 - Bein alone, bein abandoned, not bein able to find anyone in pure darkness. That’s... damn. Either that’s lingerin trauma from bein locked up in the attic, knowin that no one was gonna find him or could hear him (which, fuck, how much did he try’n call for his brothers to come get him only to realise no one was gonna come?), or smthn set up that fear before the attic and the attic just made it hells of worse.

Like that wasn’t just “bein in a room apart from ppl”, it was outright “not knowin where anyone is, or seein/hearin/feelin them”. Total sensory deprivation. 

Oh. His worst fear’s not feelin anythin. That’s. Y’all. 

Idk how to end this now I’m just big hurty thinkin abt the last two jfc. No wonder Belphie’s always wantin to be asleep next to smthn. “He sleeps better with someone there” no sir you just hella fear sleepin bc your sin’s legit exactly what you’re terrified of and havin smthn there’s the best way to fix it. 

[itissadbutitsmy-life]

I just read your Lemonhope/PB essay from a while back and it's really interesting, opened me up to how poorly PB treated basally all the lemons. So do you not think that Phlannel Boxingday was PB in disguise? It was ambiguous but I always thought it was pretty heavily implied that PB was the one in disguise trying to get Lemonhope to do what she wanted through deception, interested to hear why you think that wasn't her. Just neat stuff overall.

this answer got long but uh first off thank you??? i could talk abt lemon ppl forever they make me so happy, but when i try to write with proper grammar about them i feel like im being pretentious lmao anyways onto your question because holy SHIT:

IM A FOOL FOR NEVER THINKING OF THAT WHAT THE FUCK

i mean i suppose it totally could be….. similar color scheme/initials, same thing she did with finn about tearing off martin’s arm… but like…. idk. doesn’t sit right with me but i could buy it. her treatment of lh seems really different from how phlan treats him which makes me really feel like they’re different, he seems more like a truly kindhearted dude who just picked up a lost little kid than pb trying to convince lh to do what she wanted…… hhmm…. ghhhg

gotta think abt this huh

i guess her following after lh and messing around in a cloud before revealing herself to him makes sense

and like, hindsight is 20/20 so i could also see her realizing after lh runs off all the things she did that hindered him, and mentioning them through phlan as a way of roundaboutly apologizing (’ah lemonhope you learn with your hands not your head’ stands out to me mostly bc it seemed like a really nice thing for phlan to say to this poor kid who couldn’t do anything to please his teacher, but i guess i could see it being pb going ‘geez of COURSE he never learned to read…… i see why now, gotta make sure he knows it isnt his fault’)

i mean, also his whole ‘the way i see it youve got two options’ seemed like an outside perspective based on what lh has told him, but…… yeah i guess it does also seem like it could be pb going ‘youve got two options: suffer bc you cant live on your own obviously and youre wracked w guilt, or alleviate your guilt!' 

this is literally the worst thing i cant believe my nice sweet son, the best Dad™ in at, could be pb, The morally gray Mom™

also im sad that if he is pb, we dont get the Worldbuilding™ of lemongrab having locked up his entire kingdom from everyone, not just people who are close to and familiar w the laws. loved that minor characters knew shit was going down in his earldom. but i also have a soft spot for characters knowing my favorite characters’ names, so idk.

hm

i guess also i gotta like. do this: assuming they are two different ppl, imagine the part where lh thinks he sees his family falling out of the greed lard and screams at phlan the stop and go back for them, bc like, phlan listens to him and reassures him that nothing bad has happened. because tbh… idk if i can imagine pb doing it so thoroughly. she might tell him 'no lh look it’s not them it’s just treasure’ but i cant see her turning the ship around, parking it, getting out and walking lh over to gently reassure him that everything’s alright and show him it’s okay. Maybe. could be, if she’s actively trying to not treat him the same way that clearly wasn’t working when he was in the candy kingdom. same when phlan has like coal or. smth i cant remember, and hes going on and on abt how excited he is to use them to make a love potion and stuff, and he accidentally drops them off the edge of the boat and goes like 'ah shoot,’ but when he sees lh looking upset he quickly goes 'hey, it’s not your fault buddy, i’m not mad’ like idk. i dk. im not a pb stan and idk all her characteristics but i cant see her picking up on lemonhope being upset and immediately jumping to 'that wasn’t your fault,’ but i could be wrong.

i guess what i’m saying is i could see it if phlan was just pb but i do nOT WANT TO because phlannel fucking boxingday is the nicest, most caring adult in adventure time i’ve ever seen in my life and i don’t want to believe he’s not still running around making lost kids feel good about themselves and see their own worth

esp since it clearly worked with lemonhope, but pb doesnt seem to have continued acting like phlan (speaking gently and evenly and being more patient and understanding with kids, even if just to get what she wants) even though lh definitely benefited from being treated like that. but tbf she (at this pt, after ‘you made me’) seems to be pretty aware of how lemon people don’t need the same things candy people do, so maybe she would think if lh benefited from it, candy kids wouldn’t? maybe she just hasn’t interacted with v many sad little kids since the lh special. idk. my knowledge of stuff after s6 gets kinda fuzzy since i dont have them on dvd to watch on loop in the background while i do stuff 

idk this got long but i could talk about lemons and phlannel fuckin boxingday forever sorry tldr: i never Made that connection before, i can see how it might totally be true, but i really really like phlan and want to believe he’s still out there so i’m gonna stick to believing they’re two different people >:(