#and he has known for two years -- whatever DID happen in the 2007-08 season hah

[blindbatalex]

So I’ve been rereading the first two chapters of your marcheron soulbond WIP (as I await with bated breath for updates), and something that always give me pause is the scene where Bergy goes to drop off the jersey at the cafe and is mistaken for a hookup of Brad’s.

I’m really curious how dating would work in a soulbond universe, like I imagine there would be dating apps dedicated to matching you specifically with your soulmate, right? But it would be different from current dating apps, because the categories are aimed at narrowing you down to find one very particular person among 7 billion. Almost more like a 23&me or something, where you need the database to be large enough to be useful. People probably upload photos of their soulmarks and then you can use filters to search for what you want? And there would be all sorts of other interesting soulbond categories (like they can probably set up meetups for those with timestamp soulmarks to meet). And then there’s probably apps specifically dedicated to hookups only so there’s no messiness or pressure of getting emotionally involved.

In this world, wouldn’t it be less common for one night stands to develop into something more, when there’s always the expectation that there’s only the one person out there for you, so other romantic relationships could easily be seen as placeholders in the meantime? So wouldn’t Brad only doing casual relationships at the moment be more of the norm for folks who haven’t met their soulmates, rather than those hookups Kelsey mentioned who wanted more from him?

All of which is to say I’m fascinated by the relationship rules of your universe, and in particular, Brad’s dating life and everything leading up to the moment your fic actually begins. (I would dearly love to have the moment where he actually figured out who his soulmate is.) Given how mysterious and ungovernable the human heart is, throwing the implacable idea of a soulmark/soulbond into this universe probably simplifies things in some ways, but would seem to cause so much more emotional distress in others (hence it’s right up your alley haha). And I can’t wait to read more!

Oh man, I saw this ask right before I went to bed after the game last night and it made my wholeass night; people engaging with the inner workings of any AU verse is great and triply so for this one, so thank you! The rest under the cut because it got long.

You hit the nail right on the head with your second to last sentence. Soulmate AUs have always read as a little dystopian to my on the aroace spectrum ass so I thought let me explore all of those implications in my own writing. You know how sometimes you meet someone and you immediately hit it off and feel like you could spend hours just talking to them? To me, as the writer, that is what a soulbond is -- that and the fact that barring early death and so on, you are guaranteed to meet them. Any additional meaning people imbue to that bond is as societal a construct as anything. But of course, both of our narrators buy into that contemporary Western allo notion of 'your soulmate is The romantic partner for you' framework, which complicates things. The other thing I should have perhaps established more strongly in the first two chapters is that not everyone has a soulmate in this verse.

So then when it comes to dating: you are absolutely right that it would be less common for one night stands to develop into something more in this verse. But for one, a good portion of the population (maybe 20-30%?) are unmarked, so they have to find love like the rest of us do. And even for people who have soulmates -- if you don't meet them before you are 21, or 25, or 30, what do you do in the meanwhile? Opinions would diverge on this, I think. Some people, like Brad, don't want to date at all, because what's the point when your true The One is out there, waiting for you? But other people might -- the same way you and I may embark on short term relationships even if we don't want or see it leading to e.g. marriage -- perhaps with the implicit understanding that if either party meets their soulmate in the meanwhile, they will call it a day. (And man, there are so many stories you can tell about the ungovernable human heart within that space -- if you already have a partner you love dearly, is that instant connection you have with your soulmate worth throwing away what you have? And if you don't, won't a part of you always wonder about what you could have had?) And also another important question: who is Kelsey? How informed or reliable is her opinion on Brad and the people he sleeps with?

Then, w/r/t online dating: for one, this fic is currently set in ~2009, which is actually the year Grindr launched. So online dating exists but is much less of a thing then than it is now. I actually didn't give it much thought before your ask, because given that you know you will meet your soulmate eventually via natural means, why try to force that connection? But I think you are so right: and in fact maybe this is a controversy in their universe, with on one hand, people who don't want to wait until they are 30 to meet the One, and on the other, people who think trying to force a meeting will mess things up. I am also SO interested in the pop culture around soulmates within the verse, which Brad is as well, and thanks to you, I might just work some of this in later on 👀

Lastly, your ask made me interrogate why Patrice hasn't reacted to the implications re Brad's soulmate situation when he talks to Kelsey, which I think will make the upcoming chapters stronger, so thank you! And re how Brad found out who his soulmate is -- *I* have always known and it is coming, perhaps as early as the next chapter depending on how the editing goes :D