#but also re how brad found out: all i will say is if it is now 2009

[blindbatalex]

So I’ve been rereading the first two chapters of your marcheron soulbond WIP (as I await with bated breath for updates), and something that always give me pause is the scene where Bergy goes to drop off the jersey at the cafe and is mistaken for a hookup of Brad’s.

I’m really curious how dating would work in a soulbond universe, like I imagine there would be dating apps dedicated to matching you specifically with your soulmate, right? But it would be different from current dating apps, because the categories are aimed at narrowing you down to find one very particular person among 7 billion. Almost more like a 23&me or something, where you need the database to be large enough to be useful. People probably upload photos of their soulmarks and then you can use filters to search for what you want? And there would be all sorts of other interesting soulbond categories (like they can probably set up meetups for those with timestamp soulmarks to meet). And then there’s probably apps specifically dedicated to hookups only so there’s no messiness or pressure of getting emotionally involved.

In this world, wouldn’t it be less common for one night stands to develop into something more, when there’s always the expectation that there’s only the one person out there for you, so other romantic relationships could easily be seen as placeholders in the meantime? So wouldn’t Brad only doing casual relationships at the moment be more of the norm for folks who haven’t met their soulmates, rather than those hookups Kelsey mentioned who wanted more from him?

All of which is to say I’m fascinated by the relationship rules of your universe, and in particular, Brad’s dating life and everything leading up to the moment your fic actually begins. (I would dearly love to have the moment where he actually figured out who his soulmate is.) Given how mysterious and ungovernable the human heart is, throwing the implacable idea of a soulmark/soulbond into this universe probably simplifies things in some ways, but would seem to cause so much more emotional distress in others (hence it’s right up your alley haha). And I can’t wait to read more!

Oh man, I saw this ask right before I went to bed after the game last night and it made my wholeass night; people engaging with the inner workings of any AU verse is great and triply so for this one, so thank you! The rest under the cut because it got long.

You hit the nail right on the head with your second to last sentence. Soulmate AUs have always read as a little dystopian to my on the aroace spectrum ass so I thought let me explore all of those implications in my own writing. You know how sometimes you meet someone and you immediately hit it off and feel like you could spend hours just talking to them? To me, as the writer, that is what a soulbond is -- that and the fact that barring early death and so on, you are guaranteed to meet them. Any additional meaning people imbue to that bond is as societal a construct as anything. But of course, both of our narrators buy into that contemporary Western allo notion of 'your soulmate is The romantic partner for you' framework, which complicates things. The other thing I should have perhaps established more strongly in the first two chapters is that not everyone has a soulmate in this verse.

So then when it comes to dating: you are absolutely right that it would be less common for one night stands to develop into something more in this verse. But for one, a good portion of the population (maybe 20-30%?) are unmarked, so they have to find love like the rest of us do. And even for people who have soulmates -- if you don't meet them before you are 21, or 25, or 30, what do you do in the meanwhile? Opinions would diverge on this, I think. Some people, like Brad, don't want to date at all, because what's the point when your true The One is out there, waiting for you? But other people might -- the same way you and I may embark on short term relationships even if we don't want or see it leading to e.g. marriage -- perhaps with the implicit understanding that if either party meets their soulmate in the meanwhile, they will call it a day. (And man, there are so many stories you can tell about the ungovernable human heart within that space -- if you already have a partner you love dearly, is that instant connection you have with your soulmate worth throwing away what you have? And if you don't, won't a part of you always wonder about what you could have had?) And also another important question: who is Kelsey? How informed or reliable is her opinion on Brad and the people he sleeps with?

Then, w/r/t online dating: for one, this fic is currently set in ~2009, which is actually the year Grindr launched. So online dating exists but is much less of a thing then than it is now. I actually didn't give it much thought before your ask, because given that you know you will meet your soulmate eventually via natural means, why try to force that connection? But I think you are so right: and in fact maybe this is a controversy in their universe, with on one hand, people who don't want to wait until they are 30 to meet the One, and on the other, people who think trying to force a meeting will mess things up. I am also SO interested in the pop culture around soulmates within the verse, which Brad is as well, and thanks to you, I might just work some of this in later on 👀

Lastly, your ask made me interrogate why Patrice hasn't reacted to the implications re Brad's soulmate situation when he talks to Kelsey, which I think will make the upcoming chapters stronger, so thank you! And re how Brad found out who his soulmate is -- *I* have always known and it is coming, perhaps as early as the next chapter depending on how the editing goes :D

[inbarfink]

Okay, so I just found out that I can watch the whole 2015 stage production of ‘Shock Treatment’ on YouTube and, like, I have… so many thoughts and feelings. It really does demonstrate how Shock Treatment’s biggest flaws is just how unfocused and messy and… just needing one or two more rewrites to reach it's full potential. 

Like there are a few tweaks to the dialogue that makes the whole narrative a bit simpler and easier to comprehend, the satire is a bit more focused on the core themes, I thought most of the jokes were pretty solid (and the more sexual ones offer somewhat of a stronger thematic link to ‘Rocky Horror’) and now there’s actually Shock Treatment in the plot of Shock Treatment!

I do really like how they tweaked the lyrics of some of the song to smooth over some of the remnant ‘these were written for a very different RHPS sequel and re-fitted into this plot’ weirdness. I especially like ‘I they need some young blood’ and the change to the title line in ‘Looking for Trade Fame’ and ‘Look what I you/he did to my Id” (meaning Farley). Sometimes ya just need to change just one lil' pronoun and the whole-ass song makes a lot more sense. 

But the biggest positive change this Stage Version brought is the cast. Because ‘Shock Treatment’ the movie just has way too many characters. Like, look at this compared to RHPS’ cast list.

While this is maybe a natural result of the setting shift from an isolated castle to a whole town, it also leaves a lot of the secondary cast feeling flat and with no real space to develop. Comparing both of Little Nell’s roles is probably the best example. Nurse Ansalong is fun and Nell's performance is great as usual, but she’s just kinda around to be a RHPS nod and so Little Nell has Something to Do in this movie and an excuse to run around in a sexy nurse’s outfit. And these are all noble goals but… well, Columbia was an actual character, as campy as RHPS is, she was a character with emotions and pathos and tragedy and an important narrative and thematic role. Ansalong just never had the time to develop into someone with even a tenth of that depth.

(It also makes ‘Shock Treatment’ waaaay harder to Shadow Cast.)

So the stage version just cutting her out and… basically cutting everyone out except for Brad, Janet, Farley, the two Dr. McKinleys, Betty and Ralph just gives a much better chance for all of these characters to feel like actual people. Campy, exaggerated cartoony people - but definitely people. 

Like, we get to spend a little more time on making the manipulation of Janet into a superstar feel more gradual and convincing. Which both help her work better as… basically the Emotional cornerstone of the whole story and make the villains feel more despicable and more competent. Which of course really helps the two Dr. McKinleys since all of Farley’s other minions have been cut. In general they get more opportunity to say funny stuff and can really see how they use their faux psychology and therapyspeak to control people. 

....There's some level where I maybe think this script went a little too far in the other direction. That it's kinda disappointing that this Janet didn't never quite go off the deep end like her movie counterpart did. In general this version's slightly more.... grounded vibe - compared to the Movie's kinda Surrealist Nightmare Vibe - is one of the things I feel most conflicted about.

Like on one hand, this kinda campy nonsense world where gameshow hosts committing husbands to mental asylums and living your whole life on a sound-stage are normal is one of the most compelling parts of 'Shock Treatments' satire and it's kind of a shame to lose it... but also this more grounded tone creates a story that it's easier to follow an, more importantly, emotional stakes it's easier to get invested in. I think the Ideal Perfect Version of Shock Treatment’ that Exists Only in My Brain would be, tone-wise, in the middle between the movie and the stage show, but also maybe lean more towards the stage version?

The added details that Brad and Janet’s marriage has been hitting a rough patch because Brad has been fired from his job just as Janet has gotten a promotion (which I think is a detail from "The Brad and Janet Show" draft that was dropped from the 'Shock Treatment' movie?) adds some thematic resonance about the characters dealing with the Changing Times, the idea that Brad might feel emasculated with Janet’s success while has been (temporarily) regulated to the role of a househusband is maybe understandable but it is also understandable why it would frustrate Janet and thus lives her open to the McKinley's manipulations. Again, the characters are still kinda campy, still kinda silly - but having a bit of grounding for Brad and Janet’s relationship does help when this is basically… all the emotional stakes in the story.

Now, in the Ideal Perfect Version of Shock Treatment’ that Exists Only in My Brain, the rift in Brad and Janet relationship would’ve been created by the lingering effects of the events in the Frankenstein's Place. Janet would rather pretend they never happened but Brad is still visibly reeling from that time he got forced-femmed by aliens. And although the events of ‘Rocky Horror' did definitely happen in this version, it’s mentioned as just a throwaway joke (“We’ve been through so much together! Infidelity, homicide, aliens, fishnet stockings… and that’s just the engagement party”). Still, it was a funny throwaway joke - and the promotion-and-firing idea they went with makes thematic sense in this version of ‘Shock Treatment’. 

Farley Flavors also get a bit of a ‘boost’ from the trimmed cast but… honestly the changes to his character are the ones I am most split about. Because this version of Farley Flavors is generally better because there’s a bit more… flavor to him. A more visibly wacky personality, a few more gimmicks to him. And when I first saw him I was actually… pretty hyped about him as the main villain.

Because, okay, the main problem with Farley as a villain is that, despite Cliff De Young’s excellent performance, he really is just another Evil 80’s Businessman and that feels a bit bland in the wacky world of Rocky Horror. Like, the whole ‘long-lost twin brother’ twist is supposed to feel like the counterpart to the Alien Twist in RHPS and a parody of stupid soap opera twists in general. But… the thing is that even before we found out he was an alien, Frank was already an incredibly distinctive and unique character. Being revealed as an alien in the last act of the story doesn’t define him.

But since Farley doesn’t have as much going for his character, the stupid parody long-lost brother twist does end up being his defining trait and it makes his whole character feel lackluster because… it’s a stupid parody twist! 

But since Twenty-Fifteen Farley is Fairly Far-Fetched right from the get-go this means the twist has more of a chance to feel more like the original Aliens Twist. Plus, there’s bits of dialogue here and there that feel like Foreshadowing. Farley constantly reiterates that Denton is his hometown, and that he’s a self-made man (which connects to the briefly-alluded-to implication that he was adopted into a poorer family than Brad’s and that's the source of his resentment), him saying some very Ominous Things to Bard at the end of ‘Lullaby’

And then…. It turns out this version decided to cut the long-lost twin thing!

Which… honestly I probably should’ve seen coming from the casting choices. 

And like, I see the logic here. Obviously the double-casting gimmick does not work on stage, that was supposed to be a parody of soap-opera twists and that element is a lot more downplayed in this version of ‘Shock Treatment’ and like… since this plot point has been already been heavily criticized in the film version I can see why they would want to cut it. 

But… it’s not just that I feel like this twist would’ve worked better in this version it’s also that… cutting this plot point and replacing it with nothing just makes Brad - who is already kinda relegated into glorified McGuffin for most of this story - feel like he had even less to do with the plot and makes Farley’s apparent animosity for Brad even more inexplicable and shoddy.

Like, Farley still says he chose Janet ‘because of [Brad]’ so I guess we’re supposed to believe that he just finds Brad to be such a massive lameo that it makes him seethe with a burning hatred of a thousand suns. Which is an even flimsier motivation than that Twin Stuff in the movie. 

‘Duel Duet’ always has that problem that it was originally written for two characters with a very powerful well-established rivalry and emotional stakes (Dr. Frank N’ Furter and Riff-Raff) and then had to be transplanted into being about these two schmucks who barely even know each other. And removing the Twin Twist just kinda removes whatever emotional stakes they did have and exacerbates the problem. 

.....Honestly, I think the main way to really ‘fix’ Duel Duet is… instead of that one kinda ‘Girl Power’ moment they tried to give Janet that I feel is a bit too heavy-handed and obvious…

Just make ‘Duel Duet’ a Farley versus Janet song!

Like, Janet is unquestionably THE Main Character of the story with the most important emotional journey of all of the characters, she was the core target of Farley’s manipulation and the focus of his schemes, she’s the one who actually got to interact with him and developed any sort of relationship with him, the focus of this scene is on how Janet realizing she has been used by him, she already spends all of Duel Duet physically kicking his ass…

Janet should also be the one to musically face-off against Farley, especially if you remove the only reason why Farley has to hate Brad so much. Like, yeah, she does get to beat him physically... but because this is a musical - the Songs are the thing that gets the biggest emotional and narrative priority. The person who gets to Duel Duet with the Farley is the person who really beats him. And this is really moment that should belong to Janet in this version of the story.

And maybe removing one of the few Things Brad actually gets to do in this plot which is also his Big Musical Number would kinda suck for him, but… well, this version also gives Brad a nice lil’ Triumphant Reprise of ‘In My Own Way’ where he reaffirms his love for Janet and maybe you can expand that into his Big Musical Number and… y’know, if the rift in their marriage was at least kinda about Brad’s insecurities about Janet becoming the Main Breadwinner of the household… Maybe it’ll be a good resolution to his story to embrace being Janet’s little Damsel in Distress?

(I mean, I think this is an element in this musical as it is but.... but you could've leaned into it more!)

And with both Oliver Wright and Macy Struthers cut, that gives more material to make Betty’s character more interesting. Without Oliver, Betty generally gets to talk about her ongoing investigation with Janet - and that means the two of them get to have more interactions and a more visible friendship. And on the other hand, She starts out as Ralph Hapshatt’s cohost, putting on a very Macy-esque false smile and pretending they’re still happily married. It’s a fun, character-specific spin on the whole ‘falsehood of television’ motif of ‘Shock Treatment’. 

(Also since Oliver is cut, it means Betty, Janet and Brad sing “Anyhow, Anyhow” as a trio. Which… I think that means they’re gonna have a threesome. And you know what? I support Janet Majors and her two girlfriends!)

And Ralph… really got the biggest boost in personality from the trimming of the cast - especially as most of the singing roles of these cut characters for assigned to him. Like, okay, I think something that’s kind of a problem with the ending of the original ‘Shock Treatment’ is how… unambiguous it is when compared to ‘Rocky Horror’. 

Because ‘Rocky Horror’ has a very morally ambiguous cast - pretty much every character has some element that makes them at least a little bit sympathetic and also… well, if not morally wrong than at least an (Audience Participation Voice) ASSHOLE (but also yeah, a lot of them are morally reprehensible even when working against other morally reprehensible characters). And the ending leaves it ambiguous whatever Frank got what he deserves or whatever his death is a tragedy, or some combinations of the two. Not to mention the ambiguity of what happened to Brad and Janet; whatever they’ve been liberated or exploited or corrupted and whatever or not they’re better off being left behind on earth or remaining in Frank’s clutches.

And meanwhile ‘Shock Treatment’  has a VERY clear-cut ending. There is a unambiguous differentiation between the characters who are the Good Guys, and those who are Bad Guys and those who are the Bad Guys’ Gullible Victims. And, like, yeah, all the Bad Guys succeeded in their evil scheme and and are now basically literally rolling in cash

…but literally any character who has any redeeming qualities gets to happily escape this Nightmare Studio while singing a cheery song about sex. 

Even Oscar Drill and the Bits, who are quite literally Bit Characters and have very little characterization or connection to our Main Foursome, get to escape. Basically just because what little we got from them made them seem like a nice group of young gays and they never did anything bad. 

And all of the people who stayed behind were portrayed as such exaggerated cartoonish bigoted caricatures literally rushing in excitement to get themselves exploited. Nor do we get any moment for our protagonists to show any sort of concern or regret or sadness about these people who they've known all of their lives. So it’s really hard to care about them as, like, Real People who've been duped into being ground down by this awful machine of capitalism and conformism. 

I understand the idea that having a wider cast makes Denton feel more like a Town compared to the isolated feeling of the Frankenstein’s Place, and that seeing all of these people fall for Farley’s bullshit in their own slightly-different ways help drives home how prevalent and influential and powerful this capitalist proudly-selfish image-obsessed philosophy really is. But… none of these characters get enough time to develop into anything but shallow parodies of Society. There’s just not enough humanity in them to sell even an ounce of the tragedy of Columbia and Rocky's deaths. 

So condensing all of these slightly-different characters into Ralph Hapshatt… that really made him the most complicated and morally-ambiguous character in this whole musical. Because, yeah, he is a self-obsessed sexist asshole driven primarily by a desire for fame and fortune but…

We spend enough time with him to humanize him. To see how he’s struggling with internalized homophobia and how he does have his doubts about what Farley and Co. are doing to his best friends even if his thirst for fame keep winning the moral battle and that said thirst for fame is pretty obviously born from a desperate need for love and validation that this homophobic corporate world just can’t give him.

So when the show ends with him being happily strapped unto to the Shock Treatment device he illegally modified with his own two hands because he just can’t allow himself to refuse a chance to star on TV - on some level this is karma, but it’s also a grim reminder that even if our threesome of heroes are happy and free, this exploitative entertainment machine also 'just got to keep going', just got to keep grinding down other people in the name of mental health, the American family and quality entertainment. 

And although we’ve technically scaled down from a whole town to just one guy, this feels so much more tragic because as selfish as Ralph is, and as silly and intentionally-ridiculous as the writing is sometimes, he still feels so much like a person. 

[pluckyredhead]

can I ask what you're referring to re: Roy & Connor with the search party tweet post? I'm newer to Arrow comics so I'm not sure

Sure! (Here's the post anon is referring to, for other folks reading this.)

So when Connor was first introduced, he was a total surprise to Ollie - Ollie had not known he had a kid. Years later, this was retconned and it was revealed that Ollie had known about Connor all along and just...lied to literally everyone in his life about it. I HATE this retcon, because Brad Meltzer just dropped it in as a *gasp!* Shocking! Last Page! Reveal! of his single arc and fucked off of the book without having to deal with any of the ramifications. Like the fact that Ollie had made Dinah feel bad about being infertile because he wanted a biological child, even though he knew he already had one. (He didn't originally make her feel bad on purpose, he was just sad. But if he was moping around in front of her WHEN HE KNEW, it changes everything. UGH.)

Anyway, in 2008, Connor got shot in the head and nearly died. (This is the start of truly abysmal writing on Connor that didn't improve until 2021.) The whole Arrowfamily is in the waiting room, and Ollie is eating himself up with guilt over having lied about knowing about Connor's existence. This is the first time he's spoken about it out loud to literally anyone, btw.

Then this page happens:

HE LITERALLY STOPPED LOOKING FOR THE SON HE ABANDONED BECAUSE HE FOUND SOME RANDOM OTHER KID WHO ALREADY KNEW HOW TO ARCH. An insane thing to do! An insane thing to say in front of Roy! Judd Winick what were you THINKING. Mia over there is like "maybe I can still get adopted by the Bats instead."

I will admit I am fascinated by Roy's reaction. What is going on in his head? "I stole my brother's dad and now he might die"? "Wow, Ollie kicked me out of the house for being an addict but I guess it could have been worse"? He looks so miserable. Give Cliff Chiang a raise for everyone's faces.

(I also have...questions...about the ages there. Roy and Connor are not that close in age, if Connor was 13 then Roy would have been, like. 18 when he became Speedy. Oh well.)

But yeah I hate all of this and aggressively ignore it in my fic. I like Ollie being a fuckup but this is a scale that is unforgivable, to me.

[c-40]

A-T-2 300 Disco Rap Pt.1

These are disco rap track where the raps are over a song that's already been a hit, a bit like how a riddim is used in Jamaican music

The Fearless Four - Rockin' It. We could call this the Man Machine Riddim! y'know because The Fearless Four are rapping over Man Machine by Kraftwerk. Sample technology was in it's infancy so this is a re-record like all other disco rap tracks, this also means the backing just isn't as crisp as the 1978 original and is full of disco flourishes you'd expect from funk musicians. The backing comes from Pumpkin & Friends, Pumpkin is Errol Bedward and friends are Dr Jeckyll & Mr Hyde and various members of The Disco Four. Their other 1982 single for Bobby Robinson's Enjoy Record was It's Magic which sees them rapping over a re-record of Cat Stevens' Was Dog A Doughnut from his 1977 album Izitso. Man Machine and Was Dog A Doughnut were two bboy records. Rockin' It itself has been sampled a lot, it's a hip hop classic from the disco rap era

Jimmy Spicer - The Bubble Bunch. Another hip hop classic, this one the follow up of Adventures Of Super Rhyme (Rap) from Jimmy Spicer (RIP) takes a section of Tom Browne's Thighs High (Grip Your Hips and Move.) It also uses a click track from the Casio VL-1 (like Michael Moorcock does on Time Centre A-T-2 198.) This one is also notable because it's mixed by Jellybean (who would cover Cat Stevens' Was Dog A Doughnut) and rap pioneer Kurtis Blow, and it's produced by pre Def Jam alleged sex predator Russel Simmons and former Kurtis Blow collaborator Larry Smith, Russel and Smith would go on to produce post-disco hip hop with Run DMC

Just Four - Jam To Remember. Shalamar's Night To Remember innit. Could you call this a posse cut? Lots of interesting personal on this record, first off Tricky Tee, he'll go on to work with Kurtis Mantronik but not to be mixed up with Mantronix's own Mc Tee, Kurtis Mantronik produces Tricky Tee's Thin Lizzy sampling solo single Johnny The Fox in 1985. Next up Wayne Brathwaite is one of the arrangers, Brathwaite is the bassist Mighty M Productions like to use (A-T-2 262) so we're talking Evelyn King and Kashif recordings. Then Jamaican's Glen Adams and Brad Osborne are writing, producing, and arranging. Glen Adams had been a key member of Lee Perry's band The Upsetters, as Glen Adams Affair he'd released the disco record Just A Groove for SAM Records in 1980. Brad Osborne moved to the Bronx in 1969 where he distributed Jamaican records and recorded visiting Jamaican musicians. These went out on his Brad and Clocktower labels. One of his early productions was of Glen Adams and a single called Tanya. In the early 80s he founded the hip hop imprint Grand Groove Records and the limited edition Dee Jay sub label

Just Four's Games Of Life is the first record to credit Marley Marl

Funky Four (sometimes Funky 4+1) - Do You Want to Rock (Before I Let Go.) This is over Maze's Before I Let Go. It goes off in a soul direction like what Sylvia Robinson was trying to do with label mates The Sequence around this time, the instrumental on the b side is essentially a modern soul track. It was produced by Sugar Hill owner, who I've just mentioned, Sylvia Robinson and in-house producer Clifton "Jiggs" Chase. Sugar Hill's band was Doug Wimbish bass, Skip McDonald guitar, and Keith LeBlanc drums. It's some silky smooth disco-rap

Brother D & The Collective Effort - How We Gonna Make The Black Nation Rise? Conscious rap originally released in 1980 as a b side, Island records pick it up and release it as an a side in the UK in 1982. Cheryl Lynn's To Be Real is the track they're rapping over, like many many others have. It was George Bernard Shaw famously described the mission of the Fabian Society to "Agitate, Educate, Organise" and that's the advise they are giving here... although as they're American it'll be Organize, right? I know this record from Coldcut's debut cut-up classic Say Kids

Dr Jeckyll & Mr Hyde - The Challenge (Instrumental)

So this is a bit of a secret weapon. The backing music is Nasty Girl by Prince's girl group Vanity 6, so on the b side there is essentially an extended instrumental of Nasty Girl. It's mixed and produced by Joe Tucci (Eric Matthew) of Gary's Gang et al. The a side is a cartoon boast record in reply to Vanity 6's Nasty Girl. Dr Jeckyll & Mr Hyde write for Captain Rock who was featured in the last post and probably had something to do with Rockin It above through their association with Pumpkin

[nitewrighter]

Cindy Part 9

As always, for all parts, refer to the masterpost.

-----

“It’s foolproof,” the prince is fitting on a tricorne hat.

“It’s fool-something,” Brad mutters.

“It’s genius,” The prince is putting his hands on his hips and turning about in the mirror.

“It’s an enormous complication to security,” Brad is leaning against the wall in the Prince’s quarters.

“You’re just mad because you didn’t think of it first,” The prince is trying on a spare pair of reading glasses he nicked from his father’s office and checks his reflection again. He blinks a few times at how much clearer his own image is. Shit, he may actually need a prescription.

“I didn’t think of it because it’s an enormous complication to security,” Brad frowns.

“But I pull it off, right?” The prince steps out from behind the peacock-printed folding screen in full servant’s livery. He’s not wrong. The servant’s livery has fully activated the some-guyification of the prince. This is literally just some guy. It’s a perfect hide-in-plain-sight disguise. I mean he still looks good because goddamn if the king and queen don’t have amazing taste when it comes to their servants’ livery, but this brightly colored fancy lil outfit with perfectly tailored piping and fancy white gloves is enough to heavily distract from the prince’s face. And of course there’s the hat. The king and queen allow for the servants to have a little fun with their hats, decorate them with a feather or maybe a little sprig of flowers or maybe a cute brooch. They say it’s a ‘fun’ thing but also it’s this whole thing where they feel really rude going ‘You there, boy!’ and it’s hard to tell who’s who from far away with the uniforms so the hat flair doubles as visual shorthand for who’s who. The prince has opted for a hawk feather he found on one of his rides and he thinks this is really cool. It’s only kinda cool. But still he really looks like a servant. Brad honestly wonders why the prince’s jumpy, antisocial ass didn’t try something like this sooner.

“You pull it off,” Brad concedes, “But I’m not entirely sure what you mean to accomplish by doing it.”

“Easy!” The prince throws his hands up, “I finally figured it out! All the staff talked about how she was helping them all night at the ball, right? That’s one of the reasons why she showed up so late and well after the master of ceremonies finished announcing everyone!”

“Uh huh…” Brad says slowly.

“So if I’m a servant, and she treats me like shit, I’ll know it’s not her!”

“And what if all the shoe candidates treat you perfectly pleasantly?”

“Well it’s more than that, she goes out of her way to help people! She.. she grabs lemons from the garden! She sews… flowers in buttons!”

“Which reminds me, Danvers asked if you were going to give his jacket back, because he really does like it—”

“It’s evidence, Brad! He’ll get it back when we get to the bottom of this!”

“And you think coming along to every house along with me, will help you do that.”

“I know I’m going to know her when I see her, I—I—I can feel it.”

“And because you don’t trust the shoe.”

“PEOPLE HAVE SIMILAR FOOT SIZES AND THE SHOE DOES NOT OBEY THE LAWS OF PHYSICS. ”

“We’ve only had the laws of physics… like… what, 100 years? 200 years?”

“Longer. I mean, Newton cribbed a lot of it from Ibn Al-Haytham so…”

“You really do read too much. Anyway, what I’m saying is, maybe there’s another rule we haven’t thought of, yet.”

“And it chooses to manifest itself in a shoe?”

Brad makes an ‘I dunno sound.’ Brad is veering dangerously close to accidentally creating a new early theory of entropy before his brain manages to go, Wait the prince is tagging along for all of this and now I have to recalculate every house-casing for threats to the prince when he is not immediately recognizable as the prince. Do we leave a body-double at the palace? Goddammit I only have a couple hours to re-tool this entire fucking process.

The prince is looking at himself in the mirror again. He takes in a short huffing breath. “I think it’s definitely going to work.”

And for the most part it does.

Like, don’t get me wrong, a lot of it is still tedious as hell, but thankfully, a lot of ladies have been taken out of the running already, not by any previous shoe-related process of elimination from the Prince’s own investigations, but because, true to his word, the king matchmade the hell out of that ball in the Prince’s absence, and a lot of the attendants at the ball had already been paired off in perfectly respectable courtships. So the list is actually significantly reduced already thanks to the king’s efforts.

Still, plenty of the potential shoe-wearers don’t notice the prince any more than they notice their own furniture when they’re chatting up Brad and Gabe the valet. Sure, on a family scale, there are plenty of attempts at buttering up Gabe and Brad with tea and biscuits and fancy pickles and cold cuts, but thankfully Gabe is probably the biggest hard-ass in this story and is terrifyingly good at polite expediency, so the prince is just kind of watching Brad and Gabe speed-run through all these parents and their pretty daughters going, “Oh good sirs, welcome to our humble abode, won’t you have some terrine?” (a disturbing number of respectable families have been convinced that terrines and aspics are very fashionable and they’ll be the only ones cool and modern and cultured enough to offer it to the palace representatives—they are not.) But honestly… the prince is right. He can pretty much feel right off the bat, before the shoe is even tried on, if this isn’t the house—if that isn’t the girl.

They still try on the shoe, because obviously it’s a whole thing, and there’s this whole process about the whole thing. They measure the foot and take down the foot’s measurements on a fancy little table for future reference and research onto the properties of The Shoe that Defies All Measurement and Fitting (The prince thinks he’ll make a graph later… maybe a bell curve?? Mostly they just end up accidentally inventing those shoe-size carpets you see at shoe stores), but then the shoe doesn’t fit, and well… to be honest the reactions to the shoe not fitting turn out to be the most interesting parts of the whole thing.

“I’m having an allergic reaction. Foot’s just… swollen right up. This isn’t my usual foot size.”

“I’m really dehydrated. That’s why it’s clanking around like that. Let me get a couple of glasses of water and try again.”

“Mother? Would you have one of the maids get the lard tub?”

“Look! Behind you!” (Cue furious grunting of continuing to attempt to shove the shoe on when everyone turns around)

“Um… more cold cuts?”

“Oh thank god, this means I can join that convent.” (Cue a scandalized gasp and a furious splutter of “Amelia!” from a mother.)

And the thing is, you’d think your brain would end up glazing over all these house calls, especially when you’re looking for The Love Of Your Life. You’d think like… you’d get sick of it, get sick of people, but it turns out, when the Prince isn’t put at the epicenter of a weird ritualized glam-fest of girls competing for a chance to hop on his dick for status, when they aren’t even recognizing him as the prince, he’s actually seeing people in the context of their own homes. Like, sure, it’s definitely very appearances-minded from every family involved because they’re presenting their homes to representatives of the palace, but you pick up on vibes, you pick up on dynamics. It’s like Kitchen Nightmares: Bourgeoisie Household Edition. But also you see families that are trying to secure their futures, and girls who just want to do right by them.

There’s this one house, right? Beautiful estate—it’s on a hill all laced with vineyards and during the carriage ride there the prince is glancing at Gabe and he can tell Gabe is like, “God I hope this is the girl” partially out of exhaustion from this whole ordeal, partially because… yeah it’s a really nice estate and you wouldn’t mind sitting out on the veranda with a nice glass of chilled rosé. God Gabe wants a nice glass of chilled rosé right now. This house probably has the best snack spread yet with fancy toasted spiced nuts and sharp cheeses and olives and this really great flatbread stuff?? And the wine, holy shit, like… these families have been shoving forward black tea and lemonade and super sugary brandy to them all day, but now there’s a nice perfectly balanced white wine in these cute stemless glasses? And they’re even offering them to the prince, who, as far as they know, is a footman! Like after a day of all these families being really weird and desperate and stilted, the environment is just low-key and hospitable enough for both Brad and Gabe to be like, ‘God let this be Mystery Girl.’ And there’s this very wonderful family with loads of kids that are showing them around the estate with a very pretty eldest daughter, with bright green-brown eyes and big curly brown hair and a wide mouth that lends itself to charming expressions. And like… the prince is kind of thrown through a loop because the way this girl acts around her siblings… maybe it’s mystery girl? She’s kind of a mom, kind of an asshole when the mom can’t be, and all-around this peacemaker dealing with a messy but lovable family. Of course she wouldn’t talk about her family because family can be messy, right? Maybe all his thoughts of danger and peril and abuse for Mystery Girl sprang from him being so fucking removed from everything. Maybe he has no fucking good judgement of anything.

But then they try on the shoe.

And the shoe doesn’t fit.

And the girl’s mouth hitches and she’s just like, “…all right,” a little stiffly.

And you feel this collective crestfallen exhale from her parents and all her siblings. Like her next sister is only 11 and the sister after that is 8 so it’s like… yeah… all their hopes were resting on the eldest.

“You… you can take some of the flatbread with you, if you like, sirs,” the mother pipes up.

“I’m sorry,” the girl cuts in, “For… for wasting your time.”

“It’s fine,” the prince suddenly steps forward from his spot next to the door.

The girl instinctively springs to her feet and curtsies. “Your highness,” she says with a bow of her head.

The prince freezes. The girl’s whole family freezes. Brad freezes. Gabe is taking down notes, I don’t know what the fuck he’s writing down.

“…you knew?” The prince says slowly.

The girl looks at her family and draws herself up straight. “May we have the room?”

The parents very quickly herd all of the siblings out of the room. The prince gives an ‘It’s okay’ wave of his hand to Brad and Gabe and they back out as well. Not too far so they can’t spring into action if anything funny happens, but enough for a bit of discretion.

“I was three feet in front of you. Did… other girls not recognize you?” the girl asks.

“I’m pretty sure they’ve either got amazing poker faces or you’re the first.”

The girl gives an amused ‘Hmph’ and eases up where she’s standing a little. “I think… I should also apologize. I mean, yes I wanted to marry you, but I didn’t really care about… well… you… or my qualifications as queen, mostly I just wanted to…” the girl draws a breath through her teeth, “There was a drought a few years back and it threw our wine’s taste off and we had to raise our prices to cover the water cost. We lost a lot of customers and a lot of favor with the noble families that would usually be our patrons. Our wine’s better now, if anything, the acidity of the grapes that survived the drought lent to a better complexity of flavor with the new grapes, but… It turns out… a reputation is not as easily rebuilt as a vineyard is regrown.”

“You were trying to protect the people you love,” the prince shrugs.

The girl pushes her brown curls back from her face and looks down. “Big feet… great for crushing grapes…fitting into slippers.. not so much.”

“Mm,” the prince takes off his tricorn hat and itches at the back of his head, “You could… try it on again?”

“What?” The girl tilts her head.

“The slipper it’s like… it’s not a normal shoe. I’ve had glassmakers all over the country look at it. We’re mostly doing the foot-measurement thing to see if there’s any pattern, but like… so far? On a data-scale? Foot size is completely irrelevant. Maybe you just need to… try again?”

“It’s not me,” the girl clasps her hands in front of herself, that wide mouth quirking off to one side.

“How do you know?”

“Because I was looking at you the moment you saw her. The girl at the hors d’oeuvres table, right?”

“Do you remember what she looked like?” The prince asks on reflex, his voice denser and more desperate than he really means to sound but holy shit, a flicker of hope?

“No,” the girl replies and the prince’s shoulders sink, “I'm sorry. I really wish I could. But I saw her a while before, in the powder room. Another one of the girls was crying, some drama with her cousin or something, and.. and this girl, the girl you’re looking for, she was… holding her hands and fixing her hair, and helping dab away the smudges in her makeup, and she was saying, ‘It’s okay, you’re so pretty and brave. And this is going to be a wonderful night, I promise you, I promise you. Even if everything seems horrible now, you’re in this beautiful place. And you’re going to dance and laugh and you don’t have to let everything that hurt you take this night away.’ Just… I don’t think I would have remembered it, if not for this distinct feeling I got, that the girl who fits this slipper knew hurt more deeply than the girl crying right then would ever know.”

“I got that feeling too,” the prince says vacantly, “I mean—I wasn’t in the powder room—”

“I know, your highness.” The girl shrugs, she exhales. “I wish you all the luck in finding her.” She huffs a little. “If I may speak freely?”

“You may,” the prince replies.

“My family has this one super old story—something about a gold ball and a pond or something? But—when she’d finish the story, my grandma would tell me this: sometimes… a situation is well out of our understanding, and if that’s the case, we have to remember that appearances aren’t everything, that you have to trust your heart and your gut, and you should keep an eye out for the people who care for others at their lowest moments. Even if everyone else thinks they’re gross.”

“Like rats…?” The prince says absently.

“Rats?” The girl shudders hard. And that shudder tells the prince, ‘Nope. Definitely not mystery girl.’ “With their freaky little… clawed people-hands? Eugh. No. I was thinking… more like frogs?”

“Frogs have people hands,” the prince says vaguely.

“Frogs’ hands are webbed with four fingers. There’s a difference,” the girl rolls her eyes.

“Your highness?” Gabe sticks his head in the doorway, “I don’t mean to rush you, but…”

“Oh—” The prince glances back at the girl, “Er—thank you again for your hospitality.” He bows.

She curtsies in turn. “I hope you find her, your highness.”

“Thank you,” the prince replies.

“And once you find her.. if you need wine for the wedding…” the girl gestures vaguely and the prince snorts.

“We’ll be in touch,” he says, before stepping out with Brad and Gabe.

—-

“I’ll be honest, your highness, I’d really hoped it was her,” Gabe mutters, still taking notes in the carriage as the family waves them off.

“Brad? The palace provides wine for the castle guards, right?” The prince glances over at Brad.

“Mm-hmm,” Brad is munching on some flatbread. I mean the lady of the house said they could take some.

“And… I wouldn’t say they’re picky, are they?” The Prince tilts his head.

“You could cut it with pig piss and they wouldn’t notice,” Brad shrugs.

“Brad!” Gabe barks.

“I mean… no, your highness.”

“Let’s… order a few casks from this vineyard to have on tap at the palace?” The prince suggests, "And a few more casks for free access to the public at the harvest festival this year."

“A wise decision, your highness,” Gabe says, taking notes, “And a bold bit of proactivity, if I do say so myself.”

“It’s not that bold, I mean it’s good wine, we all tasted it,” the Prince mutters.

“He means it’s the most you’ve done in like, five years,” Brad says, still chewing on flatbread, “Aside from the glassmaker thing, I guess.”

“BRAD,” Gabe says, exasperated.

The prince just leans his head against the glass of the carriage window. “So how many more houses today?” He asks.

“Two more and then back to the palace to recap?” Gabe suggests.

The prince draws in a long tired breath. “Yeah. Okay. Let’s do this,” he says.

He keeps thinking of mystery girl while he’s seeing these families, but it’s not 100% this doomed yearning he’s been going through like in the previous days of his investigation—Mystery Girl would help these people. She’d make friends with girls like this. He keeps thinking of what she said when they were dancing. “I don’t like that, that’s fucked up!” And like… it’s really something to see these carefully laid out social dynamics actively poking and prodding these people into this weird ass situation. Like he has such a love-hate relationship with the shoe at this point, but he’s weirdly thankful for it, because it just seems to… disrupt every human preconception and every social construct it comes in contact with. It brings out a weird and authentic side of people, just as much as it refuses to fit, the crazy royalty-high stakes of the situation bring out this realization that people have so much different stuff going on.

That used to be so exhausting for him. Figuring out what’s going on with people, keeping it all lined up, helping where he can. It’s still exhausting, but the exhaustion doesn’t hit quite the same. He hits the mattress that night and he dreams… not of mystery girl… not quite. He’s chasing this ideal of a person but crashing into how people are over and over again. So this person he sees in his dream, he’s not sure it’s mystery girl, but it doesn’t matter if it’s mystery girl. It’s a bitter, complicated, stupid, selfish, awkward person, and he decides, in that moment, that he is going to do everything in his power to make sure they can live their best life.

Because he’s the goddamn prince. And that’s his fucking job. And dream or not, that's what Mystery Girl would do.

And just a few feet away from his pillow, that damn glass slipper is glittering on a pedestal in the moonlight.

[guaxinimraccoon]

ok so i’m not exactly sure what this would be called or how this would even happen given the circumstances of how they met, but what would it be like if a younger brad found younger toby (like ten year old brad, fifteen year old toby, or younger)

Ok lemme say that I fell in LOVE with this scenario like- A LOT

There was a time that I really wanted to make this canon, like, Toby and Brad meeting each other when they were kiddos and re-meeting after years, but I discarded the idea because it didn't fit in the vibe I was heading for them.

But OH BOY do I love g/t tropes where they first meet as kids and re-meet after YEARS and try to regain all that trust that was built years ago, mixed between the nostalgia and good memories and the fear of being again in a complicated and dangerous interaction after so long and where none of them are used to it anymore- it's just- SO HEART WRENCHING AAAAAAAAA

That's why I say-

Let's give this a headcanon shot

Ok so how would this work?

Canonically speaking, Brad lived most of his life in his dad's (who is Alex, let's not forget) home town, close to his grandparents, uncles and aunts. He'd come to live in Alex's old house - in the capital city - after getting into a technical school, where he'd also attend to high school (totally not inspired by a true story). That happened when he was 15.

For this headcanon, Alex wanted to spend the holidays at his old house, maybe for the good memories he built there with Elisa, maybe because it was a bigger city and Brad could enjoy his holiday time better.

BUT LET'S NOT FORGET that Alex's house has an entire forest for a backyard, a forest that attracts his curious, 10 year old son to explore it.

A forest that is also the home for an entire Colony of fairies and imps.

And on that fatidic day, when this innocent lil kid was walking around that new territory, exploring the branches and trees, looking for animals, would be the same day that a pair of teenage imps were training their climbing skills at the forest.

Siri is way more precautious than Toby, so she wouldn't want to take long out in the open and would insist to them to return back to their safe home ASAP. But Toby, as the inconsequent brat he is, would have none of it and would be all about the most dangerouns option.

Siri wasn't going to wait for her idiot friend, so she just returned to the Colony by herself, leaving Toby "the pro climber" alone.

And who could guess he'd get all tangled up and suspended at a branch, perfectly eye leveled with a human if any of them passed by??

Toby freaked at the sight of Brad, of course. He could only scream and threat, yelling at him to stay away from him or he'd curse his next generations or something.

As for Brad, even though he was a curious kid who had never ever seen someone like Toby before, he payed more attention at how scared and frightened that little person was. He couldn't bring himself to ask anything when the lil dude was clearly terrified and stuck, so he focused on helping him and releasing him from his suspended prison, all while trying to calm him down and explain that he was just trying to help.

Toby was VERY confused. Children should be even more dangerous than adults, so why was this human kid gently snapping his thread and speaking at a low tone to try to calm him down? He thought being held by a human was the worst experience that could ever happen to an imp, but he couldn't sense any threat coming from it, it was just careful, warm and... safe?

Brad put Toby down on the ground, whose first action was to run as fast as he could to a hidden, safe place in the nearest bushes. Little Brad noticed he was still scared of him and didn't try to grab Toby, he just gently waved him goodbye, even though he had a lot of questions and was very curious over that little tiny person.

And so was Toby over that big, but kind human.

Brad didn't say anything to his father about his weird encounter with a tiny person in the forest, partly because he wasn't sure if he was real and he was just hallucinating from the loneliness the whole time.

Nevertheless, he returned to that same spot on the forest the other day, in the hopes to find the tiny again and maybe befriending him, he really just wanted to talk and to know more about him.

To his luck, Toby also got very curious. He decided to return to that spot again too and to see if the weird human would appear again.

It'd take him some time and courage, but after awhile watching the kid all by himself, doing nothing harmful and just patiently waiting, he simply revealed himself and decided to give that human a try. He knew that was illogical and against everything he had learned, but how bad could it be? That kid had him in his hands once and did nothing to him, why would he be mean to him now?

Well, none of them regretted their decisions. They both got along and effortless became friends. Toby learned Brad really was trustworhty and safe to be around, probably one of the very few humans like that, and Brad learned Toby was a magical imp who could do lots of amazing stuff he never knew could actually exist.

The two spent an amazing time together, learning about each other and chatting away like good friends, even for their age difference. It was easily the best holidays Brad ever had.

Buuuuuuuuut it didn't last forever.

Brad's vacation time eventually ended and he had to go back to his home and school. He went to the forest one last time to say Toby goodbye and to thank him for the amazing time and moments they spent together.

Toby also got very sad for Brad leaving. He had become one of his very few friends and had teached him so much about the human world. He was sure he’d never find someone else like him. They’d both miss each other deeply.

Brad had other vacations, of course, but he couldn’t tell his father why he wanted so much to spend them at the capital again, he had to keep Toby a secret forever. Maybe Alex would take him back to his old house for the holidays more times, but Brad never managed to find Toby.

As for Toby, he spent weeks returning to their meeting spot, in the faded hope to see Brad again. He knew he could be back in a few months, but his constants outputs in a short period of time started to become suspicious and he was no more allowed to leave the Colony alone. I mean, the Council knew his mother’s reputation with humans, they couldn’t risk that chaos happening one more time.

Like that, Brad and Toby never seen each other again... until Brad moved out to his father’s old house close to the forest.

The same house where a certain imp would be sent to as a punishment for commting a crime in his Colony.

Oh the seconds after that must have been the most wholesome thing ever, but I’ll leave them for your imagination, anon

I can’t express in words how much I love this scenario.

[schnozzbun-art]

“Wait—who’s Lisa?” (MAJOR JOYFUL SPOILERS)

[Transcript]: Do you wish Buddy learned who Lisa was, or is it better as it is? The real Lisa has been gone for a long time. She was just a girl in a abusive home who unfortunately made some terrible, but understandable, mistakes as she tried to escape her misery. All that's left of Lisa is a spirit who haunts Brad and Buzzo due to survivor's guilt and their skewed perceptions of her (I'd say Marty is haunted too, but that's different since his guilt is fully deserved). Would it really accomplish anything?

——

BOY OH BOY DO I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS ON THIS, ANON.

Yes. I 100000% think Buddy should have found out who Lisa Armstrong was. I was truly shocked to see that this is something that stays completely unresolved when I finished Joyful. I think it would have been such a neat bow to Buddy’s arc.

So like, before I get into my main points, let’s think about it in-universe. Watch a clip of Buzzo’s speech at the end of Joyful. Watch it and wonder ...Why the HELL does Buddy just stand there while Buzzo’s saying stuff like ‘she pulled me into darkness’ or ‘it’s her fault.’? Huh?? Wouldn’t it have been more accurate if this happened?

Ok listen I get it I get it DL needed to wrap up this video game and quickly communicate the story’s emotional conclusion: ”Brad loved Buddy. Buddy needs to let go of her anger towards Brad in order to move on, and Lisa is at the centre of all of this suffering.” I already gave my thoughts over why I don’t like this as a take-away. 

But anyway DL had to communicate this message in a way that would make sense to the player and also tie the plot-thread of Buzzo being connected to Lisa. But what ends up happening is like, an extremely bizarre situation on Buddy’s end where she’s just standing there listening to Buzzo talk about complete nonsense through dialogue that’s transparently meant more for the player rather than Buddy.

I mean think about it—Joyful ends with Buddy still thinking Marty was a good person. NO ONE bothers to tell her who Marty was, why Brad reacted the way he did to him, and how Marty’s connected to the Armstrongs. This means she still thinks Brad killed the guy who was looking after her! There’s evidence that she grew quite close to Marty, going as far to say ‘[Marty] was a better father to me in a few days than you ever were. So regardless of whether Marty was grooming her or had legitimately had changed, Buddy REMAINS THINKING that Marty was a normal person. Which MEANS Buddy—in a logical, in universe-way—can’t get proper closure on Brad because she still has ZERO CLUE ABOUT WHAT HIS DEAL WAS and why he seemingly attacked every man that appeared to just be trying to take her of her! 

While yes I get that Joyful leans a lot into the dramatic irony of the player knowing the plot at large so the game doesn’t have to bother re-explaining things the player would already know, god DAMN does it annoy me that, in-universe, Buddy has no clue who Lisa was and why Brad acted like he did, and is just left completely in the dark.

Sure, you could say ‘oh well maybe Joyful was going for “you'll go crazy trying to rationalise why your parents abused you. Sometimes you just gotta accept it will remain unresolved and move on” BUT HERE’S THE THING!! I don’t think that was really DL’s intended message, nor what it leaves the player with! The whole like, core message I think Joyful tried to to push is: “sometimes your parents will hurt you, but they’re just trying to help you because they love you.” Which, I don’t really think works for Buddy and Brad’s relationship. Brad kicks Buddy in the face. That’s not good parenting. Buddy has PLENTY to be legitimately resentful about.

But anyway, we see this “Brad meant well uwu” message pushed onto the player with the hallucinations of Brad crying over Rando’s corpse and mask, the speech he gives Buddy via, uh, astral projection? 

(Seriously, how are we meant to take these Brad hallucinations? Because, they’re just hallucinations made by Buddy, right? Not actually Brad? Brad’s dead. The LISA games to me seem pretty firmly in the land of sci-fi and doesn’t have fantasy elements save for like, fire balls and laser beams. Any out-of-this world imagery has been established by the series to be representation of Lisa Armsrtong’s, Brad’s, or Buddy’s escapist fantasies, trauma-induced visions or drug hallucinations respectively. So, if this isn’t Brad’s ghost, are we logically meant to assume that this is a hallucination of what Buddy wishes Brad felt towards Rando? Because if that’s the case, if anything that makes Buddy more sympathetic, since it’s the game showing that Buddy does feel remorse for Rando’s death and wishing Brad had been a good father to both of them. But I get the feeling a lot of players took these hallucinations as reflexive of the real-life-Brad’s actual feelings towards Rando. And if that’s what DL intended, like, what a convoluted way to do it kjfdah.)

But yeah, it always felt like that end speech by Brad was more for the player than for Buddy. Like, in-universe I don’t understand how Buddy would have access to that ‘I loved you so much it scared me’ speech Brad does. It’s a good speech! It just sits weirdly with me cause I don’t know how Buddy gets access to that information. Is it an inner epiphany? Is it what she wishes Brad would say? Or what Brad actually felt? Even though the former makes more logical sense due to the rules of how these hallucinations work as established in Painful, I think think we’re meant to believe it’s the latter. Which. Mm. 

Anyway, my point. 

Through all of these things, the game is trying to position Brad in a sympathetic light to the point that most players resent Buddy for not “appreciating” what Brad did for her. Even though! She can’t! Cause Buddy never learns what Brad’s trauma was because she never learns about Lisa and who Marty was! How on earth can people be so resentful @ Buddy for information she just never got access to?

It’s just SO ironic that for a video game that was created with the intent to tie up the story’s lose ends, it ended up creating more of them!! Poor Buddy is left in the dark about EVERYTHING! And in my opinion she has no real reason to forgive Brad, and nor should she.

As for what her finding out about Lisa would accomplish, I think it would do a lot! I can see Buddy feeling camaraderie with Lisa. Hearing about how they both had abusive fathers, both were locked inside their homes, both extremely isolated, both felt objectified for their bodies. To know that what she’s gone through has all happened before would be half-comforting and half-terrifying. But hey at least THEN Buddy would have a clear in-universe reason to understand how she’s been caught in a generations-long cycle of abuse, and THAT would give her the perspective needed to reconcile with why Brad acted the way he did. Rather than Brad’s.... ghost? Her joyed-up hallucination of Brad(?) telling her he loved her.

And hell if not for Buddy, at least for RANDO! Buddy and Rando, as Brad’s children, would’ve benefitted SO MUCH from learning who Lisa was. The most traumatic moment in Rando’s life was a result of circumstances he had no hand in and has no knowledge of, and goddamn I think he deserved to know at least to give him some closure over why this thing happened to him. 

But yeah thanks for sending this anon cause gosh darn I love talking about this and it I have IDEAS on how this could’ve been handled. As always—stay tuned for ASAL.

[hohoz]

The ones that suffer the most

I wanted to talk about this for a long time.

I’m a Resident evil addicted, I finished almost every RE game released and I must say that Capcom made some poor choices regarding Jill and Chris, they are EASILY the most mistreated characters in RE Franchise. 

But let’s explain why is that: 

Jill and Chris are survivors, they had to survive in a mansion with a lot of puzzles and zombies, while looking for items that could help them to progress and find a way to reach Brad. 

When they arrive at STARS Office, they are revolted that Umbrella did all that under their noses and innocents were dying because of that and they explained EVERYTHING in a report - but Irons made that go away. 

In the ORIGINAL RE3 we had this special file (Jill’s Diary) 

August 7th Two weeks have passed since that day. My wounds have been healed, but I just can't forget it. For most people, it's history now. But for me, whenever I close my eyes, it all comes back clearly. Zombies eating people's flesh and the screams of my teammates dying. No, the wounds in my heart are not healed yet...

August 13th Chris has been causing a lot of trouble recently. What's with him? He seldom talks to the other police members and is constantly irritated. The other day, he punched Elran of the Boy's Crime department just for accidentally splashing Chris's face with coffee. I immediately stopped Chris, but when he saw me he just gave me a wink and walked away. I wonder what happened to him...

August 15th Midnight. Chris, who has been on a leave of absence for a "vacation," called me so I visited his apartment. As soon as I walked into his room, he showed me a couple of pieces of paper. They were part of a virus research report entitled as simply as "G". Then Chris told me that, "The nightmare still continues." He went on to say that, "It's not over yet." Ever since that day, he has been fighting all by himself without rest, without even telling me.

August 24th Chris left the town today to go to Europe. Barry told me that he would send his family to Canada and then he would follow Chris. I decided to remain in Raccoon City for a while because I know that the research facility in this city will be very important to this entire case. In a month or so, I'll be joining with them somewhere in Europe. That's when my real battle begins...

For some weird reason this file isn’t available in RE3 Remake. 

But ok, here we see that Chris was doing some investigation - in the RE2RMK  you could see this letter that Chris left in a way that normal people wouldn't understand - the only thing that Claire says is that “doesnt look like him” but how normies would understand what Chris is like is he is not well represented in media ??????????????????

And Jill had all the detective work in her wall. 

So far so good - we understand the basics about them - they are Special police force, the elite, they had a traumatic experience and they survived to tell the story. 

Some problems until now:

Jill had a MAJOR personality change in RE3 RMK- I honestly like most of that, she is a badass in the originals and she is a badass in the rmk but I still dislike the fact that she swears all the time (specially because in RE1, RE Rev, RE5 she doesn't do that) 

We can tell a lot about her personality just looking at her room, but I still miss some stuff (I had expectations - so this is not a real problem. but still) like a Vinyl player (since she is probably into classical music), some letters from her father so new players can understand her origin and why is she so good in lockpicking and more about her dog (she had a pic in the original that could’ve been her boyfriend but it was replaced by a dog in RE2 rmk but in RE3 Rmk there in no dog) 

Okay - after you finish the game the only thing we see is this: 

In my opinion this is Chris since he is always associated with Green colors while Jill is associated with blue. 

So my speculation here is that she found him while in the original we had this: 

This is not a major chance but still is important (lore of course - duh) but the problem here is that while Jill is looking for him - Code Veronica is happening. 

So I can only assume two things, they did not show him because they DON’T HAVE A FACE FOR HIM or I am wrong and that is Jill, but if that is Jill so why there is no decent epilogue like the original ? 

Okay, now we are arriving in the real trouble area

I will do RE5 first and the Wii and Rev1 (even tho those two comes first in the lore) 

RESIDENT EVIL 5 

So before the game was release we had some propaganda, including this: 

So have in mind that Jill was dead, I thought that she died and RE5 would explain that shit. 

But in the beginning we see that Chris is looking for her and have in mind that Chris HAD A MAJOR CHANCE IN HIS APPEARANCE, and I’m not talking about his muscles. 

I will not address Chris in CV since he was good in that game but I the team that made CV also made the original, it had CONSISTENCE. 

Here we have Chris, he’s THE classical american soldier protagonist from Hollywood in the 80′s/90′s and he had some omage to TOPGUN

He also shares some traits with his sister

A major trait here is that HE HAS BLUE EYES, typical good looking soldier from US. 

and now let’s have a look at Chris in RE5...

Yeah... I still hate this face even tho I love his Character in this game, this ugly a** monkey looking mf and he had a lot of steroids

So we have some lore to him in RE5, Jill and Chris went to a mansion looking for Spencer (one of the fathers of Umbrella and the one that was behind project Wesker, he wanted to do this Virus so he could live forever, so RE has a good lore, it’s not just about zombies) but when they found him, he was dead and Wesker was by his side, in a fight Jill sacrificed herself to save Chris’s life. 

Chris started doing mission after mission because her body was never found, and he made a name for himself, he became a ‘legend’ inside BSAA and you can see that in the beginning of RE5.

The reason behind the muscles was probably to fight Wesker mano to mano but still is not well made, it really felt weird playing for the first time. 

So now we have a problem here, there is thing that you use in a narrative that is to make someone strong af powerless, and they did that to Jill. (a good example of this is in TWD- Ricky is a fucking legend and Negan made him powerless in the face of a event) 

Jill was used in a Boss fight and that is it... She is not in the game as a character, she is being manipulated and her whole design was changed, she looks like Nina from Tekken. WTF. - BTW, the fact that Wesker had mind control over her created 1000 fics of sex 

 So that is it, my main problem here isnt Jill itself, but it’s the fact that they used her character as a boss even tho she is the heroine, she never appears in RE lore again until some guy inside Capcom said “Well people are asking about Jill so let’s place a file in Rev2 saying that she is in rehab” 

The only time that she appears again is in a 3DS NINTENDO ONLY game, it felt that Capcom simply don’t care about her character. 

By the way Revelations 1 is a great game and was adaptable some years later for PC and consoles

But you think that this is bad, wait until we arrive at RESIDENT EVIL 6 

When I learned that Jill was not in RE6 I was mad... But after I played that game I said “thank you God” that game was bad, transformers kind of bad, it had bad writing, the lore was all over the place and Chris was the one that suffered the most in this game. 

He was responsible for the death of an entire squad, suffered amnesia and people still wanted him in the command 

THEY MADE HIM AN ALCOHOLIC 

The golden boy of BSAA reduced to THIS. 

By the way, the director said that HE WANTED TO KILL CHRIS IN THIS GAME to SUBVERT EXPECTATIONS - so if you liked Piers now that he died only because of that. 

So now let’s analyse what we know: 

The first 2 main characters are not well represented in media until RE6, they don’t know how to re introduce Jill in the games and Chris was reduced to a normal guy at a Russian bar;

But it gets worse... 

Capcom LOVE Leon, we know that. he is always the hero, he is the protagonist in almost every movie and he is always the cool guy so when he get’s a new model, he looks like this:

But When Chris get’s a new face he look like this: 

WHO DAFUQ ARE U, no offense to the model but he has NEGATIVE JAW LINE.

And still he doesn't look like Claire’s brother, there is no blue/green eyes and he looks younger that he was in 6 (and 6 still uses that ugly character model) 

But let’s go in the lore- we HAVE 0 info on Jill in RE6 / RE7 and no sight of her in RE8 

And speaking of which, they tried to make Chris the bad guy in the trailer so when we play we see “Ohhhh he was not the bad guy, that happened and that is why he did that” 

But still... 

If they are going to do that to his character don’t use this character, shit ! Do something with that Wesker’s son that made 0 sense in RE6 but leave Chris out of this - it really feels that they simply don’t know how to treat him right

And you may think that I may be complaining a lot because of his appearance

But this is him in RE8  

(to me this is some random dude from Russia) 

And this is him in RE:Verse (that is going to be release TOGETHER) 

So this tells me that they have 0 clue of how to handle his looks

Jill got RE3Rmk but it felt like a cheap game compared to RE2Rmk where the original RE3 was SO MUCH BETTER

And this is bad because there are so many new fans joining the fandom only to see 2 great characters suffering from poor director’s choices. 

I’m sorry about this rant, if you like Chris face and looks its okay, really, but dont tell me that Chris from 5/6/8 is the same from 1/CV and if you think im wrong about Jill its fine, but she is an amazing character that could have so much more impact in RE universe (I mean, she never even appeared in a RE movie - animations) 

But it’s sad to see so many characters that receive good representation in media and good games/lore while Jill get’s almost none and Chris is handled like random face guy. 

I was going to talk a little bit more about Rev 1 and RE Umbrella Chronicles but there is no need since Im mad right now and it seems that Capcom has 0 interest in making Code Veronica and Umbrella’s fall after that since their fav boy Leon need a rmk in RE4 even tho RE4 is not that old. 

Bonus:

Fun fact: Chris served in the Air force, so yeah, to me even Tom Cruise looks more like Chris than Chris from the games

[givemethatgold]

Fix’er Upper Pt. 3

Pairing: Eventual Frankie Morales x F!Reader Warnings: Clumsy injury, more stupid fighting Length: 2.5k Notes: If these two dummies could have one (1) adult conversation they’d be in bed together by now. Instead, we get this! *waves around vaguely*

PART ONE, TWO

Money was tight. You had been trying to ignore the dwindling stack of cash, telling yourself that you didn’t actually need to fix the cracked drywall, replace the old oven, or fill in the missing patches of shingles. 

That ignorance had finally come to bite you in the butt. You were rudely woken at three a.m. to the clap of thunder and the pat-pat-pat of rain hitting the house. You loved storms, the excitement of the lighting, and how fresh the air smelled once the rain had passed. 

You rolled over onto your back so you could watch the lightning flashing between the cracks of your curtains. A tap on your forehead quickly destroyed the excitement you were feeling. The wet ‘splat’ was quickly followed by another, and another, and before you were able to scramble up and search for the closest thing resembling a bucket, it had turned into a steady stream.

“Fuuuuuuuck!”

The next morning, the sun rose and shed its light upon a beautiful scene. The leaves, now free from dust, were beginning to turn, the grass glimmered with raindrops, and the sky was clear. You, on the other hand, were a verifiable disaster. 

Hair unkempt, heavy bags under your eyes, and wearing the first items of clothing you could find in your scramble last night. Your exhaustion was so complete, it hadn’t even dawned on you to change or freshen up a bit before going out into the public eye. All you could focus on was getting to Hank’s Hardware and buying all the shingles you could get your hands on.

Once again, however, you were harshly reminded of your dwindling savings and just how expensive fixing up a house could be. The owner, Allan if you remembered correctly, had shown you the right size and style for your home’s roof and you nearly choked at the price.

“You know,” he had said gently, “we do have the option of a payment plan. I don’t let just anyone use it either. It’s for trusted customers. I have a good gut on who I can trust.”

“Really?” You asked, feeling a little pathetic while also knowing now was not the time to let pride ruin such a good thing. “And, um, what does your gut tell you about me?”

“Welllll,” he smiled, hooking his thumbs into his suspenders and leaning back a little to size you up. “You’re hard-working, feel like you have something to prove, won’t back down from a challenge, and are in way over your head with that damn old house.”

“Oh.”

“No offense, ma’am! Sometimes I forget myself and talk to strangers the same way I’d talk to my friends.” He patted your forearm gently then hooked it back into his suspenders, pretending he didn’t notice you jumping at the physical contact. “But it’s true. No denying you won’t be able to shingle all by yourself. I’d offer, but I’m in no shape to be climbing up roofs.”

“That’s very sweet of you, truly. But I’ll manage! I doubt I could afford a handyman, so it’ll be me and my stubborn self scrambling around up there.” You joked, but it fell a little flat since the both of you knew it was the truth.

“I’ve got an idea...” Hank trailed off, his gaze searching around by the till. “Maybe you two can help each other out?” He fiddled at the computer for a minute, then grabbed a flyer from the corkboard mounted behind the counter before handing you two pieces of paper. One was a receipt of what you owed him after this latest excursion and a detailed timeline of when small payments could be made. 

Glancing up at him, you gave him a watery smile and thanked him for being so kind. Allan waved you off and pointed to the second paper.

‘Help Wanted’ it read, ‘Morales Acres. Light physical labour, quiet environment, rate of pay dependent on quality of work.’

“So friendly and welcoming,” you murmured, sarcastically, under your breath. Not quietly enough though because Allan snorted out a laugh and agreed that the ad was worded very abruptly. However, he vetted for the owner of the farm and suggested you head over to see if he would be willing to trade labour for labour.

Or at the very least, you thought, pay you so you can afford a roofer.

Following the directions Allan had provided for you, you quickly found Morales Acres. Surprisingly, it was a very short distance from your own home, making you wonder if the owner had been one of the people to drop by during your first weeks here.

The driveway was a beautiful, winding drive. The view of the farm was obscured by thickets of trees on either side of the road but you managed to catch glimpses of a pond and a few bales of hay before rounding a bend and driving into the yard.

A small gasp left your lips at the sight. It was picturesque! Something out of a travel magazine, or on every city girl’s Pinterest board. The driveway came to an end in front of a statuesque barn painted in the classic red and white, stone walls cordoned off certain areas that, from where you sat, looked like they could be used to house sheep or hens. A few small sheds were lined up along the other edge of the yard but the main attraction was the neatly lined rows of apple trees all heavy with fruit.

Climbing out of the cab, you slowly made your way into the yard with your mouth hanging open dumbly. It was just so peaceful here and it was obvious that the owner cared deeply for the property. You were enchanted and fell immediately in love.

“You must be the help Allan called to say he was sending over,” a warm voice rang out.

Looking around for the source your gaze widened, then immediately hardened, when you caught sight of who was talking to you.

“You!”

“You?!”

To say it had been a smooth business agreement would be a total lie. You and Market Asshole, Frankie you reminded yourself to call him, had bickered back and forth for the better part of an hour before shaking hands. Surprisingly, you had both argued more for the other person’s benefit, something you had been mulling over since.

If this guy was such an ass, why was he also acting like his help with your renovations wouldn’t be worth as much as you picking apples? You knew your presence disturbed his peace, and that you weren’t as strong as he might have hoped his helper would be, and he still hadn’t trusted you with all the workings of his orchard. 

So, while you weren’t going to argue anymore, you knew you were getting the better end of the deal: you help him gather his harvest and get it safely stored in the barn, then he spends the same amount of hours helping you. While the weather during September was prone to drizzle, you had convinced him that a tarp thrown over the baldest patches of roof would be fine and that the apples couldn’t wait. 

He had grumpily conceded your point but had sworn that as soon as the last of the fruit was picked he’d be over to do a proper job of it. So continued the uneasy truce between the two of you for the past four weeks. The first week was the hardest as your hands, unaccustomed to work, blistered, and your muscles ached from sudden use. You had initially tried to pass the time by making conversation but you got the hint and stayed quiet once Frankie started choosing trees farther and farther from yours.

Slowly, however, the blisters healed and gave way to callouses. Your muscles became accustomed to the work and you were able to carry twice the amount as you had started off with. Your home could now boast electricity and running water everywhere it should be, and the pile of discarded furniture had been reduced to ash by a spectacular bonfire which Jacquie and her family had joined you in admiring.

Today started off as a normal day. You showed up for harvesting at the break of dawn, having discovered you much preferred the cool morning air over being up on a ladder with the midday sun beating down on you. The trees were obscured by a low fog that had yet to burn up, but you knew what section you needed to start on. 

Enjoying the way the fog enveloped you, making you feel like you were in a magical world, you began to hum and your steps took on a dreamy dance-like quality. You had never taken lessons or had even been allowed to make such a spectacle of yourself while living with Brad but now you felt free enough to spin, twirl, and glide. Overcome with the joy your freedom gave you, you began to belt out “These Are a Few of my Favourite Things”, The Sound of Music having been played on repeat when you were a child. 

Once you reached the ladder, you hoisted the basket onto your back and continued to sing whatever songs you could remember while you worked. A particularly boisterous rendition of “Do Re Mi” had you flinging your arm out wide and leaning back on the ladder for a dramatic finish.

The apples threw you off balance. 

With a screech, you fell backward, managing to twist yourself around to land awkwardly on your hands and knees instead of on the basket of apples strapped to your back. You seemed to have come away unscathed, with just scratched knees and a throbbing in one wrist. Thankfully it wasn’t your dominant hand.

“Whoa!” Frankie called out, catching sight of you on the ground with the ladder tipped on its side, “Everything okay? Are you okay?”

Coming to a skidding stop next to you, he grasped the basket and slipped it off your back with ease. 

You took a few deep breaths and nodded. “Fine! Fine, just bruised knees and ego...” you assured him.

“What were you thinking?!” He tore into you, “You could have broken your neck! Or ruined a whole barrel of apples! Then what would I do?! This job doesn’t come with health insurance for Christ's sakes!” Running his hands through his curly, brown hair he let out a huff of air and walked over to where your ladder lay on the ground.

“Un-be-fucking-lievable!” You called out, incredulously. While trying to get to your feet, to march over and wag your finger in his face, you put too much pressure on your injured wrist that caused pain to scream down your arm.

You managed to mask the cry of pain as a cry of frustration and got to your feet. Surreptitiously cradling your hand against your chest, you grabbed another basket and walked past Frankie to start climbing the ladder again. Looking at the ground so he wouldn’t see the tears of pain in your eyes, you mumbled, “I’ll be more careful, alright? I’m sorry.”

Stopping your ascent with a hand on your arm he stuttered out what might have been the beginning of an apology but he couldn’t quite seem to put the right words together so he just cleared his throat.

“Just...” he said in a much softer tone, “just be more careful. Okay? I can’t lose my best worker.” 

The lame joke made you smile despite yourself. 

“Employee of the month,” you replied in a dry tone, “hurrah.” 

You shared wry smiles while a silent apology passed between the two of you. His dark brown eyes held a warmth to them you had never noticed before. Their hue reminding you of every tree in the orchard from the early light to the sunset, golden flecks reminiscent of the sun. His face, weathered from so much time spent outdoors, was marked with laugh lines, worry lines, and a small scar gracing his left cheek. 

Your eyes wandered past the scar to note how long his scruffy facial hair had grown and how it had started to obscure those pleasantly pouty lips. 

Then, with a start, you realized you were staring at this infuriating man’s lips like a hormonal teenager. With an embarrassed squeak, you quickly scurried up the ladder, hooking your elbow around each rung to avoid any more pressure on your wrist.

To say Frankie was coping well with having someone around would be a gross overstatement. 

It’s not that he didn’t like the company or wanted to be alone. The problem was that he was starting to like her company too much, to care too much. And caring too much had been the root cause of all Frankie’s sorrows.

First, there had been his Dad, trying to impress the man who never even wanted kids. Then the force, always feeling like he needed to prove himself and desperate for praise. After that was his wife, ex-wife, and trying to be someone he wasn’t so she would stay interested and in love. The pressure created by caring about these people and the expectations they had for him drove him to abuse drugs. Then his friends came calling and Frankie went against his gut because they had cared so deeply about something and he had cared deeply for them.

His wife, his kid, his family, his job, his friends. He had cared more than they did and he had come away worse off. At least now he was clean and sober, and was very aware of the irony of him now making and selling an alcoholic drink.

No, it was best to stay alone. He loved too freely and put too much stock in being loved back and every. single. time. it hurt him.

So, he closed himself off from you. Initially, he didn’t think it was going to be an issue, especially considering how you two had met. But then he found himself smiling at your stories, idly leaning against a branch so he could watch your graceful moments. He hated watching you leave, knowing you were going home to that piece of shit house that he should really be fixing up for you.

He recognized the signs and nipped them in the bud; working farther away, replying to questions with the fewest possible words, focusing purely on work, and maintaining a professional relationship. It pained him to push you away but deep down he knew it was best for the both of you.

Which brings him back to this moment.

Frankie was too stunned to notice your awkward climb up the ladder. Standing there, dumbly, for another few seconds. Wondering, all the way back to the idling tractor, what the hell had just happened.

One minute he was just driving the tractor minding his own business and the next he was having a mild heart attack after seeing his only worker laying limp on the ground. Then, after arguing like usual, you had shared a...a moment and stared at his mouth almost long enough to tempt him to use it.

Part Four

If you’d like to be tagged please send an ask!

@rebelliouscat @pedro4ever @speakerforthedead0 @yespolkadotkitty @ilikechocolatemilkh @weirdowithnobeardo @pedro-pastel @disgruntledspacedad @a-skov @trash-dino-5000 @reader-s-cantina

[funnyincorrectmcu]

Saw you were doing an ask spree so I have a question! What are your ultimate favourite Marvel fanfics? (Ao3 answers preferable!)

OOOH!!! 

I ALWAYS LOVE THIS QUESTION!! But it’s also always SOO hard, because I have SO many fics that I ADORE! <3 <3 <3 

Okay okay. Since you’re asking for ultimate favorites, but since you’re also in a sense kind of asking for recommendations, I’ll do you a solid and give you a list of fifteen (which is really doing myself a solid because it means there are fewer that I have to narrow down). 

That said, if you really want my full list, go to my AO3 account and check out my bookmarks (and some of my works, if you’re interested!). Because there truly are a LOT of AMAZING writers out there. <3 <3 

Alright. Here goes nothing. 

Also, I am SO sorry this took me so long, but it took me forever to narrow down to fifteen, and even with THAT, I cheated. XD

Also also, fair warning, 95% of these are Tony and Peter centric. <3 

Also also also (lots of also’s, oops XD), I’m gonna give a little bit of info on each one for anyone interested, but PLEASE, read all tags and warnings before you actually start reading, because some of these are a little rougher than others. (Btw, when I say “major warnings”, I’m referring to AO3′s “major archive warnings” list.)

1. More Ancient Than Magic by @ironfamjam 

This is a mini Hogwarts AU that I absolutely ADORE and think about at least once a week. The way the author melds the two universes is incredible and so well done, and I quote it all the time.  One-shot, IronFam centric, featuring Ned and MJ, with special guest appearances from the other Avengers and Peter’s classmates. No major warnings. 

2. Everybody Loves Skip by @baloobird

Okay, Kris is my favorite MCU fanfic author of all time, so you’ll see her on here a couple of times. This is by far my favorite story of hers, and it’s what made me fall in love with Interwebs. <3 <3  Multichapter, Peter centric, featuring Ace!Peter and Interwebs, with special guest appearances from Tony, May, and Tracy Leeds. Minor sexual harassment/non-con, but it doesn’t get too graphic. 

3. Ohana by @jen27ny

I read this story as a part of last year’s Irondad Big Bang, and let me tell you, I was SOOO invested. I got to the point where I had to send in play by play reactions because I was so emotionally invested. The story is so well told. <3 Multichapter, Tony and Peter centric, featuring Pepperony, Spideychelle, and minor Stucky, with special guest appearances from the rest of the Avengers, HYDRA, and my fast beating heart. No major warnings. 

4. Come, My Darling, Homeward Bound by @i-am-irondad

ANOTHER Irondad Big Bang 2020 story that I became OVERLY invested in to the point that I had to send play by plays in to the author. It’s a Room AU, and she NAILS each and every one of the character dynamics. I never even saw Room, and I loved it. <3  Multichapter, Tony, Peter, and Morgan centric, featuring the rest of IronFam, Spideychelle, and adorable sibling moments, with special guest appearances from Quentin Beck and my tears. Minor implied sexual harassment/non-con. (She also has a prequel and a sequel, just so you know.) 

5. The Lightning Strike by @booksxtvxsupernatural

Yet ANOTHER Irondad Big Bang 2020 story that hit me right in the feels. This is a canon-divergent post-Infinity War fic, and the way the author shows how events could’ve transpired is so realistic and beautiful. <3  One-shot, Tony and Peter centric, featuring Harley Keener and Nebula, with special guest appearances from IronFam, May Parker, and several other Avengers. 

6. Family Doesn’t End with Blood by @baloobird

This is a series of one-shots by my girl Kris based off of the Irondad Bingo prompts, so there are a lot of different prompts and themes, but they ALL rock.  Multichapter, Tony and Peter centric, featuring Ace!Peter, IronFam, and Interwebs, with special guest appearances from several other MCU characters. Warnings vary, so pay attention to the tags and read the notes. 

7. I love you more than anything (bio dad AU) by @iron--spider

Okay, so maybe this is cheating, because it’s technically a series, but every fic in it is so good that I couldn’t possibly pick just one. I just love the whole series, because I love how the author builds their relationship. It’s so cute. <3  Series of one shots, Tony and Peter centric, featuring the rest of the Stark and Parker family and baby Peter, with special guest appearances from Obadiah Stane, James Rhodes, and Happy Hogan. No major warnings.

8. sometimes, people just die (and sometimes, they don’t) by @snarky-drabbles

This one was for the 2019 Irondad Secret Santa (huh. No wonder so many of them are Tony and Peter centric. XD), and it’s an amazing time loop story that takes place during Endgame and has an ending you might not expect, but it ROCKS.  One-shot, Tony and Peter centric from Peter’s POV, featuring Pepper Potts and Stephen Strange, with special guest appearances from a whole lot of fighting. XD 

9. A Rite of Passage by @baloobird

Another ADORABLE Interwebs from my favorite person, because she made me obsessed with this ship and now I can’t stop. XD  One-shot, Interwebs centric (wait, did I actually find one that isn’t Tony and Peter??), featuring Ace!Peter and Bi!Ned, with special guest appearances from Brad Davis, Flash Thompson, and Betty Brant. Minor sexual harassment/non-con, but nothing graphic at all. 

10. Where Dreams are Nightmares in Disguise by @baloobird

This one was actually written for me, by Kris, so obviously, it made this list. I seriously cannot thank her enough for writing this amazing fic for me based on my prompt, and for writing it so well! I LOVED IT! <3  One-shot, Tony, Peter, and Morgan centric, featuring Pepper Potts and lots of LEGOS, with a special guest appearance from a really bad dude. No major warnings. 

11. harm and foul by @iron--spider

You know, there’s a lot of Tony protecting Peter out there, but sometimes, I just really wanna see Peter protecting Tony, and this is a GREAT example of that.  One-shot, Tony and Peter centric, featuring IronFam, Ned Leeds, and bada** mofo Peter Parker, with special guest appearances from Justin Hammer and a few Avengers. No major warnings.

12. Sugar, Butter, Flour by @doctornineandthreequarters

Another one written for me, this time by the incredible Jaime for the 2019 Irondad Secret Santa, and I couldn’t have asked for anything better. She took my prompts to heart and created some BEAUTIFUL sibling bonding and I LOVE it!! <3 <3  One-shot, Peter, Harley, and Morgan centric (whoa. Another one without Tony. See? I have variety! ...kind of. XD), featuring Pepperony and adorable sibling love, with a special guest appearance from a Karen. No major warnings. 

13. Bite the Bullet by @baloobird

In case you haven’t figured it out, yet, I love you, Kris. XD <3 Another amazing ace story that gets me feeling all kinds of validated and loved. <3  One-shot, Tony and Peter centric, featuring Spideychelle, Ace!Peter, and Ace!Tony, with a special guest appearance from BFF Ned and lots of lovely ace acceptance. No major warnings. 

14. what is stronger than the human heart which shatters over and over and still lives by @lyssismagical

So, I started reading her works solely through Tumblr, and when I finally realized that she had an AO3, I went on there and bookmarked a TON of her stories immediately. This is one of her more recent ones, but it’s one of my faves, even with all the whump (being Whumptober and all). It has a positive ending, I promise.  One-shot, Tony and Peter centric, featuring amazing BFF Michelle Jones, protective Peter Parker, and adorable little sister Morgan Stark, with special guest appearances from Pepper Potts, May Parker, and a lot of family love and support. Rape/non-con, but it isn’t super graphic. 

15. Peaches by @peterparkrr

This was yet another Irondad Secret Santa 2019 fic, and while this one wasn’t written specifically for me, I freaking loved it. There’s so much tension and mystery in this, and I seriously thought I was gonna pass out reading it from all of my worry. But, luckily, it has a happy ending.  One-shot, Tony and Peter centric, featuring canon divergence and lots of references to other Avengers, with a special guest appearance from a terrible government. No major warnings.

And there’s my top 15! But, because I said I was cheating, here are two bonus fics that cannot be found on AO3. I know you prefer AO3, but trust me when I say you cannot pass these up. 

1. This fic by @loubuttons

This was posted directly to Tumblr, but I have it saved in screenshots on my phone and I re-blog it all the time because I absolutely ADORE it. I will always be down for Peter and Morgan fics, especially when Tony is involved, and this one touches my heart like no other.  One-shot, Tony, Peter, and Morgan centric, featuring protective big bro Peter Parker and Tony being an amazing parent, with special guest appearances from equally awesome Pepper Potts and May Parker. No major warnings. 

2. He’s My Intern? by losingmymindtonight (if they have a Tumblr, I don’t know it, so if anyone knows it, please find them and tell them they’re awesome)

This one was posted on FF.net, and it was actually one of the first Tony and Peter stories I ever read, and it BLEW me away. This one is another series of one-shots, but each one is filled with soft Tony and Peter moments and I love it.  Multichapter, Tony and Peter centric, featuring Happy Hogan, Bruce Banner, F.R.I.D.A.Y., and all the hurt/comfort you could possibly want, with special guest appearances from Pepper Potts, May Parker, Ned Leeds, and several other Avengers. No major warnings.  

Okaaaaay. I think that’s it?? 

Wow. That took me FOREVER. 

And I’m not even sorry, because all of these authors deserve ALL of the credit I gave them. 

Thank you so much for asking this! I hope I didn’t bore you or babble too much. XD 

All of you should definitely check out these amazing fics! They 100% deserve the praise! <3 <3 

Thanks again for asking! <3 

[blindbatalex]

psa: the sharing of this au reflects a desire on my part to write it in the future and is not an invitation for third parties to claim and write it for themselves

We must all draw our own lines when it comes to rpf, and for me, that is writing about athletes' rl families; I am just not comfortable with it. At the same time, Brad's proposal to move into Bergy's basement to become his live-in nanny will not leave my head, so I was thinking about how Bergy could have multiple fictional children without being married in the present day and then I was like--

Well what if this was a verse in which more-often-than-not malicious fae existed and one of them found Bergy one night with a small baby in tow. The parents had wronged the fae and had been killed. They were also supposed to kill the baby. The fairy took pity on the kid though but to leave him at home alive would get it into trouble with other fae.

It could also feel something like a city-wide consensus that Bergy was a good and kind man, so it thought HE can adopt the baby instead. And fae can bend the rules of the material world somewhat, so it assured Bergy that no one would question how and why he acquired the child; they would instead react as if the baby had always been Bergy's with no questions asked re where or who the mum was. It also told Bergy that if he refused the child, it would eat the baby instead, pronto. And Bergy, while having no interest in surprise fatherhood, could not let that happen so he was ultimately like 🤷‍♂️ I guess??

But he is still a single hockey player with an insane schedule, knows nothing about child rearing, and now suddenly has a 3 month old to look after.

AND as it turns out there are a lot of young children who end up as collateral damage to foolish humans crossing the fae, and now that our guy has a solution, it keeps coming to Bergy with more and more babies over the years, each time saying take them or they will make a nice lunch.

And this is how Bergy finds himself as a father of 4, one of whom is definitely a changeling. And of course, in need of a nanny, when his suddenly quits.

[meaningofmotorsport]

Biggest Motorsport Moments of 2021

As 2021 comes to an end, I thought it was a good idea to look back on all the great moments we have had this year. Obviously, I will just be chronicling the moments in the sports that I follow, so series such as World Superbikes, Rally Cross and others will not be featured here, so if I miss some out, I do apologise.

Marc Marquez back on top

He may not have fought for the title; however, you cannot deny that for Marc to come back from the injuries he sustained, and the long rehabilitation process he had to endure, was remarkable, even for someone like him. It was clear at the start of the year just how tough it would be for him, and so it took until his stomping ground of Sachsenring, for him to get back to winning ways. The race itself wasn’t a thriller, but seeing him fight off the challengers from behind, showed great resilience, and suggests he isn’t done yet in the sport.

Hypercar Era Begins

It may have flown under the radar slightly, but the new rules which are set to fire Endurance racing back into a golden age have begun. The understated beginning, is because initially only Toyota was running Hypercar entries, fighting off the old LMP1 car, run by Alpine. For Portimao however, Glickenhaus joined the party, and have shown glimpses of pace since then, it still wasn’t a thrilling season in WEC, yet an historic one in terms of the future of the sport.

Historic moment for diversity in NASCAR

For a sport born in the deep south, and with plenty of controversial stories in its past, I felt the most important moment of the NASCAR season, had to be Talladega in October. Yes, we saw drama between Elliot and Harvick, and some other great races, but it wasn’t on a scale that this was, as Bubba Wallace became the first African American driver since 1963 to win a top level NASCAR race. It was made even more poignant, in that he did it at the track where a year before, the whole of NASCAR stood beside him in solidarity for Black Lives Matter.

Monaco E-Prix

Turns out it is possible to have a stunning race around the principality, as we saw passes in many unusual places around the iconic track when Formula E rocked up, for the first time on the full layout. It was a three way fight between Da Costa, Frijns, and Evans, which Antonio eventually won, after making a daring around the outside move on Evans. I hope Formula E comes back every year to Monaco on the full circuit, as the straights are long by Formula E standards, so we get great racing. It also proves that F1 cars are too wide and long.

Blinder by Binder

In a trying year for KTM, Brad did his best to maximise what he had under him. As a result of their lack of pace, in Austria, Binder found himself in a position with nothing to lose, as the rain started to fall with only a few laps to go. He took the gamble to stay on dry tyres, on an increasingly damp track, and used all the skill he had to not only stay on the track, but have enough pace to not be passed by those who changed to wet tyres. He did it to perfection, and if KTM can give him a good bike, watch out for him in 2022.

No go for Evans

Formula E was set for another thrilling season finale, with plenty of drivers in contention. In fact, the amount of them still mathematically in with a shout with 3 races to go was shocking, and if anything, it says more about the problems the sport is having. Nevertheless, after qualifying for the finale, Evans had put himself in prime position for the title, starting in 3rd, ahead of all his title rivals. When it came to the start however, his Jaguar developed an error, and would not move. The stationary Evans was then collected by Mortara who couldn’t see him, which took out another main title rival. The only other real contender was the rookie of Dennis, who was in a position to put De Vries under pressure for the title, until his rear brakes locked when re-gen braking, handing the title to the Dutchman. It was a subdued end to another crazy season, and will still hurt for the 3 drivers who lost it through no fault of their own.

Domination by Van Gisbergen

After the departure of McLaughlin to IndyCar, it was wondered who would take his place as the standard bearer at the front of the grid. Talk pre-season, was that it would be either Waters or Van Gisbergen, or possibly De Pasquale. Within a few races we had a clear answer, as Shayne destroyed everyone to start the season, taking the first 6 wins out of the year, and was consistent all through the season, leading him to win the title before the series went to Bathurst for the 1000. It was a stunning year to watch from him, although, if Waters can get on top of his set ups issues, and De Pasquale can keep up his end of season form, Shayne won’t have it easy in 2022.

A 4th in the 4 time winners club

The Indy 500 is always a special race, and after the underwhelming feeling of the race in 2020, having fans back at the speedway was something special indeed. The fans got their money’s worth too, as they witnessed history, with Helio Castroneves winning it again, and joining a very select club indeed. He thoroughly deserved it, after many years of coming so close in 2014 & 17, and it shows that experience is key in a race like that, as he fought off the young charger, and eventual champion of the series, Palou. Alex should be commended as well, for how he raced the 500, as for only his 2nd time at that race, he performed superbly, and nearly beat Helio.

A monumental season of F1

Yes, there is the grey cloud of the FIA hanging over the season, and it will likely always be there. However, we cannot just think of this season in that way, as some of the races this year were simply stunning. Think of the superb strategy of Red Bull at France, or Mercedes in Bahrain, Hamilton’s come back in Brazil, Alonso in Hungary and Qatar, Ricciardo at Monza, Norris at so many races this year, Leclerc at Silverstone, Vettel at Baku, same with Perez, or Tsunoda in the finale. All those being said, there were really only two truly awe-inspiring moments that in my opinion define the season.

The most obvious is the final lap of the season, as whilst it should never of happened the way it did, at the end of the day it did happen, and gave us a grandstand, winner takes all finish, and it wasn’t a slam dunk for Max to win. I still can’t believe it happened! Even bigger though I think, was the first lap at Silverstone, it was the moment in the season where the fight became personal, between the two teams and drivers, and was what sparked the rivalry and drama which was to follow. That battle almost felt bigger than the title fight, it was about getting inside the other driver’s head, to show who is the top dog in the sport, and neither would relinquish, which led to the end result. It was similar to Spain 2016, yet the outcome was more controversial, because as they weren’t in the same team, it wouldn’t be sorted behind closed doors.

Looking back at 2021, it has been an excellent year of racing, with plenty of great races, which couldn’t all the featured here. Some series where drama was expected, we ended up with a mediocre ending to the campaign, whereas others may have given us a little too much drama. I must commend how all series were able to almost put together a ‘normal’ season in the current circumstances, and hope that 2022 can be even more successful for them!

-M

[itsclydebitches]

I’m the tin foil hat anon and I wanted to thank you for the response on my bb submission, you make great points. Although I was frustrated that some of them raised even more questions I didn’t think of myself… UGH… lol the S2 wait is gonna be painful

On the point of crosshair thinking his chip was removed a looong time ago(meaning before bracca or even as early as ep1) it wouldn’t make sense bc of his response to Hunter’s “you tried to kill us, we didn’t have a choice”. He says “and I did?”. So he seems to be aware he couldn’t control himself in all their previous encounters. Does it mean he knows his actions were due to chip then?

And you say crosshair avoiding the “when” question can be due to him not caring if the horrible actions he committed are chip or himself and it’s meant to show that he truly is despicable and evil. It could be the case because he shows absolutely no remorse or regret over slaughtering civilians, never apologizes to his brothers for not only trying to kill them but almost successfully incinerating(!!!) them. On top of that (apparently) without a chip he casually murders his own squad without a blink of an eye right in front of them.

On the other hand, he shows care for Omega’s safety in that episode and wants a better place in the universe for his brothers(even if it’s obviously a mistake). He sounds hurt and betrayed by them yet he still wants what he thinks is best for them. He seemed genuine and sincere in that moment. Even after they refused to join he protected them against the droids. He had multiple opportunities to shoot Hunter or others in the back but never did(and looked like didn’t even consider it). BUT after all of that he decides to raise his gun and try to shoot hunter who already has his gun drawn?! And in front of the whole squad holding him at gun point!!! WTF was he thinking?! WHY? I know they rejected his offer but still. Did his reveal completely change his plans? I just don’t understand. I know he is meant to be “complex and nuanced character with layers” but what a mood swing lmao

As much as I loved and enjoyed the bad batch overall I’m beginning to think that all these inconsistencies aren’t meant to be a crafty set up for next season. What they most likely are is just writers being vague on purpose so they don’t write themselves into a corner.

And as to why the batch and Omega didn’t even try to rescue their brother could just be so that Hunter and Crosshair would have this drama and disagreement at the end. Despite brad rau claiming their argument was over ideological differences. And Jen Corbett saying in that same cursed interview that the batch always love and support each other no matter what because they’re family. Well, I guess not crosshair, he doesn’t count anymore lol

And I agree with you I’d rather see the batch acknowledging they could have done more to try and rescue him than go into the chip details. However, I have a suspicion the real reason or explanation on why they never went back for him isn’t going to be brought up ever. Even *in universe* it simply does not make sense. Just makes me sad seeing how many people also try to come up with explanations. That should have been the writers job to provide something besides Hunter’s “you tried to kill us” bc that’s a weak argument and a total bs since he was SHOCKED to learn crosshair doesn’t have a chip.

Btw sorry for the long posts lol I just found your takes very intriguing

The season two wait is something awful and I only just started it lol. No worries about long asks though! My blog has become quite meta heavy over the years, so this is normal for my inbox. Besides, it’s a bit of a pot and kettle situation. It's not like my answers are particularly concise :D

Okay first, I have the unpopular (?) opinion that Crosshair was never planning to shoot Hunter, partly for the reasons you lay out here. You’re right, it doesn’t make sense, and rather than just accepting that he had that kind of “mood swing" (which would be pretty bad writing based on everything else we've seen) I think it does make sense that this was never his intention at all. Rather, it’s just a setup to make the audience think he’s about to shoot Hunter—that’s the obvious goal of that moment: the shock, drama, confusion, and then relief—but that doesn’t mean that in-universe that was ever Crosshair’s goal, even for just a split second. Omega leaves the pod. Echo, crucially, says that he can’t see her, setting up that Crosshair with his enhanced sight is probably the only one who could. He grabs his rifle off screen and as he does, Hunter leans over the side of the pod as he prepares to jump in, precisely where Crosshair needs to aim to hit Omega. Hunter is in his way. He’s directly in the line of fire, not because Crosshair is aiming for him, but just because that's where Omega is and they're both aiming for her: Crosshair with his rifle, Hunter ready to dive. The little shift Crosshair makes reads to me as him ensuring he doesn’t hit Hunter, despite him being right where he needs to aim, not him full on changing targets.

Even if we choose to read it as him deliberately aiming at Hunter—because yeah, the scene is meant to be ambiguous—I don’t think he, like, meant it meant it. Crosshair, as we’ve seen throughout TBB and TCW, can be pretty antagonistic. He likes to do things to get a rise out of people, like staring at regs until they snap at him, or pushing Rex’s buttons until he swings. If he was choosing to aim at Hunter in that moment, rather than Hunter just being in the way, I think it’s only bravado. Remember the “Don’t make the same mistake twice. Don’t make me your enemy” line? Crosshair has a need to remind others of his skill and power—whether it’s playfully like in TCW, or more seriously in TBB—and that’s likely what this is here. “Hey, Hunter. Look. I got my weapon back. I’ve got you cornered. I’m about to save our sister when you can’t. Remember that I’m good and you need me.” Those feelings of abandonment are tied up in that need to be needed, so when Crosshair is seething at being left behind, brutally showing them how he can get a drop on their leader and doing the thing they can't (save Omega) is a great way to remind them of what they threw away/re-boost his own self-esteem. But none of that means shooting Hunter was ever a real possibility. Because nowhere else do we see Crosshair willingly trying to harm his team. He does while under the chip’s influence, but then he never hurts Hunter when he’s captured. He kills his new team before they can hurt the batch. He helps them fight off the droids. There’s a tussle, but it’s not choreographed like either he or Hunter truly intends harm. Crosshair demonstrates no aggression during the entire escape, willingly gives up his weapon after saving Omega, and just stands there as they leave. If this guy actually wanted to hurt them, he would. Which is more likely, that Crosshair had a split second of real murder intent across two episodes of doing everything possible to help his team, or that this was just a mean bluff?

But personally, I don’t even think it was a bluff. I think the coincidence of Crosshair needing to aim there and Hunter already being there is just meant to imply an attack for the audience, not imply that Crosshair, in-universe, ever intended to hurt him, even for just a second. If he had, he wouldn’t look so surprised and sad when he realizes the others are pointing their weapons at him. If he was out to shoot Hunter, even if only for a moment, seeing his brothers come to his defense would be expected; a given. But if he only ever intended to save Omega, then seeing their weapons trained on him would produce the emotions we saw: shock that they’d turn on him and then severe disappointment. From Crosshair’s perspective, he didn’t do anything wrong and never intended to do wrong either. Hence, looking away in disbelief that his need to aim through Hunter was taken as a serious threat. He's realizing that they honestly believe that he would hurt them. Not the chipped version of him, but just him, all on his own.

As for the rest of his characterization, I think your point that “You tried to kill us” is a weak argument is pretty important. Meaning, Crosshair knows he didn’t attack his team and nearly kill them, the Empire controlling him like a puppet did. He (arguably) doesn’t owe them an apology for something that he was as much a victim for. However, we usually expect one anyway—like Wrecker still apologizing to Omega—because that's how people who have hurt loved ones react, whether the hurt was intentional or not, but that guilt is currently overshadowed by his fury that they left him behind. For him I think it’s a bit of a circular problem. Yes, he nearly killed them… but he wouldn’t have nearly killed them if they’d come back and rescued him. With the obvious disclaimer that the Empire is the real evil here, Crosshair as a threat is a bit of a problem of the batch's own making. If they’d done the right thing and gotten him out, there wouldn’t have been these scary moments like the engine incident. If they’d at least tried, then Crosshair likely would have been more guilt-ridden because he hurt his brothers who were trying to help him. As it stands, he tried to hurt the people who claim they're his brothers, but who left him behind. That's why he presents this second chance as magnanimous: from Crosshair's perspective, they haven't done anything to earn his care, but they're getting it anyway. An apology though? That's pushing things too far. If when Wrecker turned the group had locked him somewhere in the ship and gone off planet, leaving him there under the justification “Well, he tried to kill us!" would Wrecker still return with apologies for his actions... or would he be primarily pissed at being left like that, withholding apologies because they did him harm intentionally, whereas he did harm under another's control? I mean, maybe he'd be forgiving (the huge difference between his and Crosshair’s personalities is another factor), but also maybe not. Having Crosshair apologize for the near-death experiences requires 1. For him to feel responsibility for something that was forced on him and 2. For him to not be absolutely furious at the batch for abandoning him. They've gotta work through that before Crosshair can acknowledge that guilt.

Killing his second team on the other hand… idk if the batch cares, honestly. It was the killing of civilians that they balked at, not other fighters like themselves. Even the Jedis’ execution, something they clearly didn’t like, wasn’t enough to turn them from the Empire, presumably because the Jedi are capable of defending themselves. They fell in battle. It’s only when the Empire asks them to kill kids and untrained civilians that they go, “Absolutely not. This organization is evil.” Murder of other fighters was, you know, not great, but not worth defecting over either. Crosshair’s second team is made up of fighters who have been trying to kill them, so they’re definitely fair game. If we removed Crosshair’s plan from the situation and the batch was just fighting their way off Kamino after a capture, would they have also killed the team without a blink of an eye? Probably. It's self-defense. The second they raised their blasters it became a battle and, unless you’re specifically out to stun someone for some reason, battles end bloody. The shock is which side Crosshair was on, not that one side was willing to murder the other. It’s definitely messed up from our perspective that Crosshair laid a trap to murder his team to prove a point… but from the batch’s perspective? Crosshair killed a bunch of imperial fighters who were threatening them during a battle. That’s just an average Tuesday for them, nothing much to get upset over.

And omg don’t get me started on Crosshair wanting to find Omega a family! Like yeah, it’s obviously a #mistake and his faith in the Empire is Super Messed Up but... the underlying motivation is so good. It’s another situation where there’s no easy answer. Which is more important: Omega’s emotional health where she grows up with clones like her, the people who are now 100% her family, or her physical health, where she stays some place where she’s not always getting shot at, kidnapped, at risk of going hungry, etc.? It’s easy as the audience to go, “Of course she belongs with her dads!!” but if you choose to read the story through any realistic lens, Crosshair absolutely has a point about this being terrible environment for a kid, the exact point the batch themselves were making until Omega begged to stay. I love my feral, compassionate child but let me tell you, I YELLED when she yeeted herself out of that pod. This is a traumatized, formerly isolated kid with absolutely zero self-preservation, combined with, at times, a lack of basic common sense that’s inevitable in children (like not realizing she can’t pull a very heavy droid up through the water). As emotionally gutting as the thought is and, in this particular case, a Very Bad Idea, I really can’t fault anyone for raising the possibility that she go somewhere else, somewhere she’s likely to survive into her teens 😅

[that-thing-that-feeling]

I’m pretty sure the guys put together their own outfits from pieces of the collection. I don’t think Charlie was specifically styled by anyone. Neither Sam or Brad has posted anything abt either Charlie or Natalia- I don’t even think Brad was there with them. His recent post thanks Dior for having him, and doesn’t say anything abt Natalia. I’m not sure if her suit is Dior or not, but I think it’s safe to say she styled herself.

I think in almost all cases they’re invited together as a couple, with a few exceptions, like movie premieres and times. I assume for this event he was the main invite since Dior only posted abt him and not Nat, but I think they always get invited together to Dior events. They both have a long history with wearing Dior, and they both are v well known for their great fashion senses. It’s just Brad is very active on social media and is much more involved in Nat’s life/public image than Sam is with Charlie, so he p much goes anywhere she can get him a plus one 😂 Stylists have to be more involved with female clients since they get judged more for what they look like and what they wear.

I def agree there is a big problem in this fandom with stans trying to pit Charlie and Natalia against each other. But if I can be frank, I’ve only rlly noticed it with the Natalia-specific stans, not so much with Charlie-specific stans, mainly on twitter. It makes me sad to see some of her fan accs ignore and belittle Charlie except when in relation to her. It’s like they treat him as her prop rather than a person who has his own life and accomplishments. You’d be surprised the number of fans I’ve seen who stopped caring abt Charlie’s movies the second they found out Natalia wouldn’t be coming to the premieres with him. Like, they’re been a couple for 6 years and are obviously v proud of each other; what do these fans think they’re accomplishing by picking sides? It’s a small portion of the fandom for sure, but it’s a small fandom to begin with.

Yk I’m really not sure how the invite thing works other than they have both gone to shows solo, have gone as a couple, you can tell when Natalia is getting paid or is a main invitee if she does something extra like a bts thing, or article, or posts. He might be a plus one in those instances or they just get invited as a couple for those events or this one. Either way, it is cool they have a consistent Dior connection! And it’s great they attended an event finally (notice how there were directors at this event and they also got a few articles out of it, so this kind of fashion event along with more industry event stuff is good to attend). I feel like Brad was def involved in styling bc there has to be some rep bet them and Dior prob, and that Nat’s cool suit is def Dior. I think both were involved in picking their looks and Dior posted the men’s looks since it’s a men’s show and the caption implied they were involved choosing and Charlie went not so much for Beatnik but Beatles lol. I think mod suits him; wish he would be in a mod or a music project (or a mod music project!) 🎵

Re: pitting them agst each other, let’s maybe not also pit who does the pitting lol. There def has been things directed at Charlie, but there’s also been an uptick recently in maybe Charlie fans almost being passive aggressive towards Natalia. Also hopefully people like them both. Anyway, it’s unfortunate bc the Charlie/Natalia/Natarlie fandom is small already and we rarely get films and events with them lol so hopefully people just root for them both, each as individuals and together and it doesn’t become some weird thing.

[the-real-tc]

Review: Heartland 1408 -- Changing Gears

(Cross-posted on Facebook, as usual) I was not expecting to be weepy again, but oh my, did the Amy and Jack plot line bring the waterworks. It was extremely thoughtful of Caleb to bring the old Norton back to Heartland. He's always been a bit of a goof and not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, but the guy's got a really kind heart. The poor bike has seen better days, though.

I'm with Amy: how could the person who acquired Ty's bike have let it fall into ruin like that? Thankfully, Jack takes it upon himself to restore it again, except the carburetor is shot and he has to order a new one (and finds one online from the UK!). The plan is to fix up the bike and sell it to someone who will actually use it this time.

It will take about a month for the part to arrive, so Amy takes Jack to a local junkyard because she's found the part he needs there. Unfortunately, the unscrupulous owner demands $600 for it, even insinuating Jack isn't up for the task of fixing the bike. Well, no one talks to Jack Bartlett that way, and no ones gouges him, either, so he storms off, leading Amy to wonder if something else might be bothering Jack...

Plot point B has Jade back in action with preparing for the indoor rodeo circuit. She has her sights set on learning how to ride bareback on the broncs and winning a few buckles along the way. Tim is against it (he's still so protective of her!) but headstrong Jade insists. Of course she takes a spill the first time out in practice, leading Tim to bark at Caleb to show everyone how it's done.

Whether or not his baby son Carson being in the area with Amy caused him to lose his focus and his nerve, we'll never know for sure, but Caleb takes a nasty spill. He is not seriously hurt, but it does cause him to re-evaluate what he's doing with his life now that he is a father. After all, he tells Amy, Ty sold the motorcycle when Lyndy was born because he knew it was a risky thing to be riding it.

Fortunately, Amy talks a little sense into him, revealing it wasn't exactly the danger factor of riding that led Ty to sell the Norton; they needed the money for the house. (After all, she tells Caleb, the Mongolia trips weren't exactly "safe", were they?) Even so, Caleb decides to hang up his rodeo spurs, and hand-writes a letter of resignation to Tim from the rodeo school gig.

Plot Point C: Tim and Jessica Cook are still dancing around each other, and the banter is on. When Tim takes offense at the way Jessica has framed her photos of the rodeo denizens (too much bloody violence and too little heroic courage for his liking), it seems there might be trouble on the way to paradise.

Caleb to the rescue when he speaks candidly of what rodeo is for him and all the others who put themselves through that physical punishment. He makes it sound downright poetic, and it seems to convince Jessica to take a second look.

Caleb to the rescue again when he and Amy offer to help Jade after hours, first on a broke horse like Spartan, and then, at Caleb's suggestion, a steer. (The fall from a steer isn't as high as a from horse is his reasoning.) Tim scoffs at the efforts, but they pay off. Jade learns quickly, and is able to stick an 8-second ride on a bronc to convince Tim she’s ready for competition.

Pleased with what he's seen, Tim rejects Caleb's letter of resignation ("You spelled 'resignation' wrong!"), and praises Caleb's coaching of Jade.

Jessica, having seen rodeo in a new light, presents Tim with a book of her photos, this time capturing images of the cowboys (and girls!) in a much more beautiful way that touches Tim, leading to the two of them making up.

By the end of the episode, Amy has convinced the scummy parts dealer to drop the price by half, and Jack gets to work once again on the restoration project. Memories flow freely from the time he accompanied Ty on the journey to dispose of Brad’s ashes. Jack commends Amy for how well she’s been handling everything this past year, and she tell shim she could not have done it without him. Jack grows emotional, declaring he’s sorry he didn’t tell Ty enough how much he meant to him. Amy assuages that worry by saying he knew, and that in case Ty didn’t say it enough, he loved Jack like a father, and she knows Jack loved Ty like the son he never had. Amy recognizes how important the road trip to spread Brad’s ashes was for both of them, and once the bike is fully repaired, how important it is that “someone” who will actually use the bike should be Jack.

So, no, she won’t sell it to someone else; it’s staying right here, she tells him. And so, they take it out for a spin, with Amy wearing Ty’s old leather jacket.

I honestly can't believe how quickly this season is flying by! Only two more episode to go. I've been enjoying the emotional episodes tremendously, so I hope we're able to get a Season 15. Well done, everyone! I truly appreciate all the efforts put in the past year, especially with all the COVID protocols in place to make this season happen.

Also, let me once again say it: Baby Carson Odell is way too cute. I hope the twins who play him (I assume it's twins, since that's the way things usually work) remain in the role.

[nitewrighter]

prompt request: weve seen cindy interact with the prince, with the queen and even had a few scenes of her and brad talking, but besides the lobby scene and the narration scene of wedding planning we havent actually seen the king and cindy interact. id love a fic of these two talking and getting to know one another!

You know, I was working on a fic for the Fairy Godmother but for some reason this one came to me much faster!

Also if you’re interested in my whole Cinderella re-telling you can find the masterpost here! I’ll probably be uploading the king and queen ficlets on there as well, soon.

Anyway CW for animal death and blood. 

--- 

So it had been about a year and a half since the stepmother passed. And like, Cindy liked to think she was pretty settled in at the palace--hell, scratch that, she really worked out a flow of things. It's kind of one of those situations where like, you're comfortable, but it's also like, "This is great. I'm going to get a good grade in Princess Consort." But this was about the time when like, just when you're getting used to something, someone throws you a curveball.

Now, because they didn't have zoom or skype or tv or anything back then, sometimes it was necessary for a ruler to make a tour--partially to connect with local and foreign leaders to maintain control and diplomacy, and partially make themselves known to the public like "Hi, hello, you have a government." So anyway, that's how Cindy, found herself sitting sidesaddle on horseback in some craggy forested mountains, repeatedly feeling at the one hunting dagger the queen’s kinsmen had given her belted to her hip, hearing hounds bay in the distance, and feeling completely out of her depth even with her Emotional Support Travel Rat.

"You're sure we don't have to kill anything?" she glanced over at the king next to her.

"Mm?" the king was looking at a particularly impressive woodpecker through a pair of binoculars.

"I said, 'You're sure we don't have to kill anything?'" said Cindy.

“No, Highness,” Brad spoke up from his own destrier next to her and Cindy eased up a little, though Brad seemed as tensed as ever. There had been a very long, drawn-out argument over whether Brad would go along with the Queen and Prince or stay behind with the King and Cindy, each side insisting the other needed his protection more, until one of the Queen’s old kinsman swung an arm around the prince and loudly proclaimed he would look after the heir of his most beloved general. It was clear now that, given the quietness of Cindy and the King’s own situation, that Brad thought he really really should be on the hunt with the Queen and Prince, but there wasn’t much he could do about it now, since he didn’t know where the hunting party was.

The king lowered his binoculars to look at Cindy. "I used to think I had to--you know, 'Manly King' and all that, but it turns out the nobility around here mostly use these trips for day-drinking and letting the hounds run themselves out," he looked through his binoculars again, only to find that the woodpecker had flown off. He lowered the binoculars again, "And I've been assured the whole, 'quiet contemplation of nature while extolling the healthful benefits of mountain air' is quite fashionable these days. "

"It is beautiful out here," Cindy pivoted her horse slightly to look out at the mountain vista through the trees. The air had a damp, heavy feel, that was not altogether unpleasant when contrasted with the warmth one built up from riding, “It’s strange, when the Queen spoke of her homeland... she always made it sound like--I mean---that is to say---”

“...’flaming death pit?’” The king offers her a reassuring smile, “She undersells how much good she and her allies really did here. Though... in fairness it has been a while since we’ve all been back. Much of these woods really were burned when I first came here.” He made a sound that was half huff, half chuckle before he swung off his horse, pushing his hips out and to the side to relieve the stiffness of riding so long. “There I was, carriage bumping along with all these... blackened skeletons of trees all around me, and just when I’m thinking, ‘Hm. Well this is all very concerning.’ Bam. The majority of my guard slaughtered and then I’m clubbed over the head.”

Cindy’s lips thinned and her fingers tightened on her horse’s reins, and her Emotional Support Travel Rat balled up on her shoulder.

“Your Majesty...” Brad started.

“Right, not very appropriate, is it?” the King mused before glancing back at Cindy, “I’m sorry--That’s terribly grisly subject matter for such a lovely day out.”

“N-no, it’s...fine,” Cindy stammered, “You and Her Majesty always talk about it like it’s some... great adventure... I just... wish I could be as strong.”

The king stared at her for about half a second too long then before glancing down and saying, “...we’ve gotten very good at talking about it like it was some great adventure.” He ambled down the path a few paces, not looking at her. “The sad truth is... a lot of the time--more than we think-- we don’t have control over the things that change us. All that we can control is who we want to be in the face of that. I’d wager you probably know a thing or two about that.”

Cindy smiled a wan smile. “I hope so. It’s gotten better,” she gave a glance to the rat on her shoulder and let it sniff and nuzzle at her finger, “I think I’ve gotten a much better idea of what I want to do--it seems the hardest part is convincing people I know what I want and what I’m doing... maybe convincing myself, most of all.”

“Well... when you’re king...” he went on, “You’re afforded--forced, is more like it--a certain perspective on things. You’re constantly forced to think about things on.. on this grand scale, you can’t assume the basic reasonableness of individuals--you have to think in terms of, ‘What’s the stupidest conclusion a lot of people will jump to and immediately act on’ and mad questions like that. But when you’re observing people on that kind of scale, it almost becomes like observing a landscape--you see a lot of stupid things, certainly, but you never stop being amazed by people’s capacity for healing, for resilience,” he plucked up a small wood anemone and walked back to her, “For growth. And you learn to find that in yourself.” He held the small blossom up to her. Cindy took it, smiling, and tucked it behind one ear as her Emotional Support Travel Rat gave it a few curious sniffs.

There was the bellow of a loud horn and all three of them glanced up.

“There--see?” the King glanced at Brad, “I told you they had it handled.”

In the next quarter of the hour, the queen, her kinsmen, and the prince reunited with the king, Brad, and Cindy. The queen was spattered in no small amount of blood and was carrying the body of a massive boar on her shoulders. Behind her, also spattered in blood, and looking significantly more shaken, was the prince. The queen dumped the boar’s body on the forest floor with a satisfied, “Grah!” of an exhale. 

“Ah, the mighty huntress! I was just saying to Brad--” the king started before the queen suddenly took him up in her arms, dipped him, and kissed him long and hard enough that the entire hunting party awkwardly glanced off before she brought him upright.

 “Hah!” she made that satisfied exhale noise again and gave the king a hearty, audible slap on the ass. “I needed that!” 

“R-right...” the king stammered, adjusting his glasses. 

“Oh you should have seen your son, darling!” the queen practically whirled the king up off his feet in a spiraling dervish, “He was brilliant! We got five musket balls in the beast! Two on one side and three on the other and it kept charging towards us! But then Chazz started hollering and weaving and flailing his arms about and running around in the thickets--led it on the wildest goose chase you ever saw--gave me the perfect opportunity to climb up to the tree limbs above and plunge down onto it with a spear.” She glanced back at her kinsmen, “And that’s why you always bring spears!” She ruffled the prince’s hair, which didn’t seem to snap him out of his daze, “My clever boy!”

Cindy rushed to the prince in a heartbeat, taking him up in her arms, and he was deliriously and aimlessly spouting out the words, “Yes. Planned. Definitely planned that. All part of the plan.” Cindy kissed him on the cheek, smearing some blood on her own face in the process but apparently unaffected about it despite her previous nervousness. He blinked a few times and stared at her a couple seconds. “What happened--?” she kissed him on the jaw this time. “Am I not dead?”

“No, it would seem you did very well,” Cindy smiled, taking a kerchief out of one of her dress pockets and dabbing at his face slightly with it.

“Oh,” he said dumbly and then after a long beat he said, “I would very much like a bath.”

And so the hunting party strapped the felled boar to the back of the queen’s horse and departed from the woods for the lodge of the Queen’s kinsmen.

“Princess,” Brad spoke up from his horse.

“Mm?” Cindy glanced at him.

“You’ve got a little--” Brad gestured at his mouth and chin. 

“Oh!” Cindy wiped away boar’s blood from her face with her kerchief, “Thank you, Captain.”

A long pause passed between them. Brad glanced back at the prince, who was staring blankly into the middle distance from his horse before looking back at Cindy.

“The blood doesn’t frighten you?” Brad said at last.

“Not really,” Cindy shrugged, “My stepfamily couldn’t stand the butcher in our village, so they usually made me get any meat from him. His wife made some wonderful black pudding.” 

“It’s just, earlier you seemed very concerned about killing---”

“Oh, well I know where meat comes from. I just imagine hunting is very time-sensitive, and I would hate if everyone were hunting, and then suddenly it was up to me, but then at the worst possible moment I would--” she mimicked herself stiffening up in her saddle with a stunned look on her face, “And I would let everyone down. You know?” 

“I... think so...?” Brad said slowly. 

Cindy leaned a little closer to Brad in her saddle and lowered her voice slightly, “You don’t think it would be too presumptuous to ask to be in the kitchens when they’re prepping it, do you? I’ve been wanting to see how they season things here since we first arrived” she suddenly perked up, “Oh! Do you think they’ll let me use the sausage grinder?” 

“I’m sure we can ask, highness,” said Brad, somehow feeling just as worn out by this conversation as if he had actually been on the hunt.