#and he'd get upset at certain dialogue choices

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

2 am sillies

[exsanguidus]

{ HEADCANON }

cw: sexual trauma, nsfw

Grim here, back again with more of her case study on Astarion and his trauma.

In this little essay, I'm going to talk about how I think it makes more sense for how Astarion seems to be genuinely kind of upset if you reject him during the party, but had previously slept with him and let him bite you during the act.

I'm going to just be straight with you and say that I think letting a vampire bite you during sex falls under the category of food play. Because vampires need blood for sustenance, it's not a kink for them the way it can be for a non-vampire. Example: Araj Oblodra desperately wanting to be fed off of by Astarion because she fantasized a vampire draining her since she was a girl.

For Astarion, it's literally just him trying to eat. He needs blood to live. It doesn't have to be humanoid blood, mind you. But the things he says to Tav when they catch him trying to bite that first time were all centered around the concept that humanoid blood was superior to animal blood and could make a vampire healthier and stronger. Akin to the way having an actual breakfast with eggs, bacon, and the whole nine yards would be superior to just downing a protein shake and going about your day. It's livable, but it's not exactly filling or the best fuel for your body long-term.

Now, you're probably asking: Grim, what in the hells does food play have to do with him actually being a little upset if Tav rejects his second proposition?

Astarion claims that his time with Tav was special and that he'd remember it, which I think carries significantly more weight to leaning towards genuine if Tav had allowed him to feed on them during the love scene.

Astarion enjoys feeding from humanoids. That's pretty obvious because he never turns it down when Tav gives him permission, and he even reacts fairly excited when given that permission. There's even a few times in-game where he compares how different blood tastes and how he feels post-feeding when he compares various animals and Tav's blood. He consistently suggests that Tav's blood - and humanoid blood in general - is superior. He also suggests that larger mammals like bears are pretty good, too, though not so much as humanoid.

So, it's thus safe to say that Astarion finds the act of feeding pleasurable. Just as most foodies in real life find the act of eating pleasureable.

Food play during sex adds an additional sensory experience to the whole ordeal. It combines the pleasure of eating to the pleasure of sex.

Astarion mentions in some dialogue that he hardly ever got any satisfaction from bedding as many people as he has. Later on in Act 3, if you make certain choices in the House of Hope, there's also a line he can tell Tav where he did try to find enjoyment in sleeping with his victims, despite not wanting to, but that it didn't last. So its safe to deduct that he didn't view sex as pleasurable when we get that first love scene.

If he feeds off Tav during the love scene, I'm fairly confident that it fried his brain a little because he was experiencing the pleasure of feeding while doing an act he didn't find pleasurable at all. That most likely was extremely confusing for him because he's not used to feeling any amount of pleasure in any way when he's using his body as a means to an end. Which is likely why he gains approval when you bite, because he does actually enjoy that. It's probably the first time he enjoyed anything while he did a sexual act, even though feeding within itself for a vampire isn't sexual.

That's part of why, to Astarion, it would have been a special and unique experience. That's likely why he would actually be genuinely kind of upset if Tav rejects his second proposition. He can't make sense of the fact he had a pleasurable experience for a fleeting moment (remember, he does still disassociate the first love scene), and he wants to experience it again.

If this was a real life patient, I'd probably encourage them to not use food play as a way of trying to bypass their sexual trauma because that won't make it just suddenly resolve and go away. It's basically a band-aid when what you really need is stitches. At some point, that coping skill won't work so well any more and then there's the chance of adopting even more extreme and/or potentially dangerous methods to cope.

Of course, I'm not trying to say that Tav allowing him to bite them during the love scene is the only valid reason he might be a little hurt if Tav rejects him the second time. The fact alone that he, on his own accord, chose to proposition Tav (even if just to manipulate them) is something special and unique for him as well.

I just personally feel like allowing him to bite during the scene gives an added layer.

Note: Vampires certainly can make drinking blood sexual. We know this because an Ascended Astarion has a line where he basically says that, after he turns Tav into a spawn, they can feed on him and then he can kiss them after to taste himself in their mouth. And he seems pretty damn into that idea. But drinking blood isn't inherently sexual for them, as its more a necessity. Again, it's like food play. Humans need to eat to survive so eating isn't inherently sexual, but you can make it sexual with food play.

[sillyandquiteawkward]

Ngl, Far Harbour is actually an amazing and fun DLC. It made me the most emotional i've ever been playing through a video game and I got so attached to some of the characters, and despite the writing flunks, it was a pretty solid DLC, in my opinion.

But there is one major issue I have with it, and it's that, as the player, you're SEVERELY limited in what you can do.

When I was going through, I made the decision to not tell Avery she was a synth. When I went back to do the Replace Tectus ending, I also did some quests for the people of Far Harbour to be trusted by them. There was one point where I had to talk to Avery to advance a quest, and it WOULD NOT let me advance that quest until I told her she was a synth. I tried. All the options were either to end dialogue or some varying degree of "You're a synth, Avery," until I told her and THEN it let me talk to her about the quest. I was so frustrated by it.

I also remember having to dismiss Nick at some point because my actions were just upsetting him too much when I was trying to get the Children to like me so I could get inside the Nucleus. Like, why couldn't I somehow explain to him that I was going "undercover" to help everyone out?? He's a detective, he'd understand that whatever I'm talking about is just to butter them up and that I don't actually mean anything that I'm telling them, right??

Not to mention, when you uncover stuff about DiMa, or the Children, or the people of Far Harbour, you're pretty much forced into this stringed out series of events rather than being able to intervene in certain situations. Like, why can't we intervene with DiMa's death? I understand that's their law, but we seriously aren't even given the choice to say anything, and we're forced to watch him be murdered like a bystander who hasn't been waist-deep in this situation the entire time?

(On a side note: I understand the limitations they established with the 4-option dialogue Fallout 4 has, among the limitations in potentially making this DLC more "fleshed out" than is already is, but c'mon. I felt like I was just a guard rail for a bowling ball towards a certain ending rather than being the person who threw the ball itself.)

[Also extra side note: It's been literal years since I played that DLC so there's some things I may not analyze well or misremember

i agree 100%. there was always some sort of railroading or limitation when it came to far harbor. its def not just a part of the 4 option dialogue, i think there couldve been a lot of improvements to give the player more options of actions even with the limited dialogue trees.

also on ur note, i wish we couldve pulled a bit with nick and go undercover with him. would love to see some actual sleuthing and lying thru ur teeth with nick giving you the thumbs up behind you. maybe there couldve been a part where nick pulls you aside after that and is like hey that was cool and all but you sounded really convincing. hope that aint how you really feel. and you can reassure him it was a bit, or that yeah its how you really feel, etc. make a joke (sarcasm option). i think it couldve made that part of the game a lil more fun and you wouldnt have to piss nick off bc all the companions dont understand what lying is due to game mechanics.

[batsinurbelfrey]

15 QUESTIONS, 15 TAGS

tagged by LA's #1 Boyfriend [gn] @18minutemajor

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYBODY? Not my first name, but my middle name is my grandmother's first.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Last night LOL, I got a Very Kind letter in the mail from someone I love very deeply, and I had just had a long and stressful day.

3. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? I always go "no, im not a person that counts pets as kids so i dont" but you know what. With Dai working her way through her FIFTH medical emergency of the year right now, im gonna say Yes. One. costs abt the damn same at this point at least lol

4. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? I DO. but it really depends on the situation, I have a deep fear of hurting someone's feelings who doesn't maybe Know me well enough yet and misreads me etc etc. Basically, the more I come to trust you, the more of a bitch I am. /jjjjjj

5. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED? As a kid I played Basketball, Baseball, Soccer [Defence and Goalie depending on the years] , and lacrosse. Soccer was my favorite I loved both positions and liked the coaches too, lacrosse I quit after a month because I was told the girl's team wasn't allowed to play full contact but the boys was and 12yr old me went full fucking protest mode. [which admittedly pissed the city off a bit because I was there on fully paid funding through a like "get poor kids off the streets" initiative fkladjslkgadsgl but-] My dad also tried to spend a summer teaching my brother and I to play tennis at the local rec center so he'd have someone to play with but I hated that too LOL

6. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT SOMEONE? Visually its usually just, whatever's the brightest color [be that like, hair, clothes, tattoos etc] but physically im def always watching for like, "what is their level of physical comfort right now" so i can overthink it and navigate the conversation with that in mind trying to hit all the right dialogue choices for their mood like a crazy person [*Points* GAD/ADHD] /lh

7. EYE COLOUR? Gray [but blue or green in certain lights, due to like color temperature and refraction n' stuff]

8. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings, but ONLY if theres like. a little loss or sacrifice to get there and give it value. "feel good" movies almost always just Annoy me, they feel Empty and Dull. [but its totally fine if they are your jam. we dont yuck yums here]

9. ANY SPECIAL TALENTS? UHHH--- "i dont think so" sounds BAD lol. but maybe like "good at reading people" not in a bad manipulative way. but just in the sense of like. i tend to be the friend ppl come to when upset and confused and i watch and listen and then go "this is why you feel that way" and they are like "OH--- yeah... damn thanks that helps" etc lol

10. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Washington DC! fun fact the hospital was since bulldozed for condos and a trader joes 💀

11. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? drawing, live music, vinyl collecting, embroidery, video games, flower pressing, reading [when i can].

12. DO YOU HAVE PETS? YES < 3

13. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5' 9 or 5'10 seemingly, depending on which doctor you ask for some reason LOL, probably has to do with my godawful posture

14. FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? ART CLASS FOR SURE, that was always the only place I liked being. if you held a gun to me and said "no electives" tho, id say English. [what can I say, im Queer]

15. DREAM JOB? I DO NOT FUCKING DREAM OF LABOR!!!! I just want to live in a nice little house doing my nice little hobbies and seeing all my friends and magically have money for all that. that said, I am basically currently doing a younger me's "dream job" though so, can't complain too hard.

my lunch break is ending and i gotta dash SOOO im just gonna say i tag anyone who sees this and would like to do it! this is your open invitation < 3

[kayura-sanada]

Something I noticed when discussing the Divine election; certain people get really pissy if you pick hardened Leliana and not softened. And while she's not a perfect choice I think she does enact the most change and both her and Cass seem to care a lot more about helping the downtrodden and opressed so they're both better choices than Vivienne at least. Its funny how recruiting her turns out to be a grave mistake, but I wanted to at least give her a chance at first but oh boy..

A lot of people want to jump others' shit for choices made, whether they were made knowingly or not. Even though it's a game.

My brother and I actually agreed on something for once, and it was that we preferred a softened Leliana. My brother was upset because he'd failed to soften her (since we played the game as soon as it came out and we didn't know how our dialogue choices might affect people at the time). Then again, he and I likely prefer a softened Leliana because of our wariness of religious extremism and history of genocide.

That said, just as I stand with Anders' decision as a necessity, I stand with Leliana's, as well.

If kindness doesn't work, cruelty will.

And considering the number of minorities killed by the Chantry, a little of their own blood lost has already proved to be necessary for change, and we shouldn't complain about the moral purity of our response to their prejudice when there's blood painted on the Chantry's walls. I dislike it, but if the laws won't change, revolution will make them.

The way Cassandra speaks of her goals sounds nice, but she still wants to return to the status quo of Circles remaining, templars remaining, and nothing of worth changing (except perhaps people no longer being made Tranquil, eventually). I respect Cassandra a lot, but I don't agree with much of what she believes.

Vivienne literally only cares about gathering more power for herself, and is even willing to use the Chantry and her position to set herself up as leader of a new sort of Tevinter. Let me make it clear: I hate the Chantry, but I hate the magisterium, too. No, it is not a step up to have the mages stepping on the non-mages simply because they'd been stepped on for too long. It's not equality. It's merely a new form of despotism.

Now, since it's a game, I'm not going to judge you fully on your in-game choices; maybe you just want to live a revenge fantasy through the DA games, and that's perfectly fine and valid. And of course there are people who choose to try every ending just to see what it's like. And maybe you and I agree on 99% of real-world issues, but you back Cassandra when I don't. It's all valid! It's a game!!!

But maybe you choose Cassandra or Vivienne because of real-world issues I can't agree with. Maybe that's a common theme to those who choose their Divines. Hence why I might say things like 'if you like Vivienne, you and I will never be friends.' Which is also fine! No one gets along with everyone else; that's not a sign of moral degeneracy. Though it may mean you have political opinions that make me disturbed that you might be able to vote. Hence why I'll block you on social media and pretend you don't exist.

And yeah... while I won't judge anyone for having a hardened Leliana, I will definitely block you if you think Vivienne as Divine is anything other than a catastrophe.

(And I actually recruited Vivienne four times before I lost patience with her. I really really wish I could have publicly kicked her out. That would have been golden.)

[seacottons]

—ateez as boyfriends [ domestic au ]

notes: swearing. suggestive dialogue. fluff. i blame a certain someone for this, not gonna say who. @kireiwoo

— hongjoong

very caring and attentive towards you

so much so, that even his friends have complained how it isn't fair he doesn't scold you like the way he does to them

he enjoys many activities with you, such as

helping him dye his hair an ungodly color every other month

he'll insist you try experimenting with your own tresses

but you only have the courage to dye the very ends of your strands

"i don't think i can pull off that color as well as you do," you'd say.

"that's a load of bull. you'll suit every hair color."

you'll just roll your eyes playfully at his biased behavior.

other activities include getting tiny matching tattoos together.

the tiny flower and butterfly on your wrists was most likely your favorite due to its simplicity in design and the meaning behind it as well.

spontaneous dates are his favorite.

behind closed doors, he loves to constantly shower you with pecks and smooches.

often gets teased by his friends from how whipped he is for you.

randomly books vacations for you two to relax and unwind every so often.

although he enjoys it, he is a big, tired baby when it comes to traveling

always wanting to lean his head against your shoulder

or cuddling you close for warmth due to the airport's air conditioners blasting frigid air.

has written many songs about you

and when he's finally ready, he'll not only ask you to listen to them, but to also spend the rest of your life with him and share his last name as well.

— seonghwa

constant pet names

"darling."

"the sun to my stars."

"the moon to my sun."

"love of my life."

you like to call him mars, mostly.

but he revels when you call him 'twinkle eyes' for some reason.

has a habit of pulling you into his lap.

you'll subconsciously play with the strands of his hair as he does so, him being too distracted bickering with his friends to realize sometimes.

will always give you pleading looks whenever wooyoung or san tease him.

sometimes, you walk in to find wooyoung settling onto your boyfriend's back while he greedily devours the bowl of popcorn entirely by himself.

or other times when both wooyoung and san constrict his limbs with their arms whenever you're near.

"y/n can't save you now, so cut the whining."

you'll only sigh and shake your head in amusement.

"what are you guys doing to my poor boyfriend?"

"he changed the movie we were watching without our permission!"

"because i have no damn clue what's going on, and harry potter is too confusing!"

coffee dates.

loves to sleep with you tucked against his chest.

always has an arm draped around your frame.

butterfly kisses on your neck.

soft touches against the small of your back and waist.

his favorite pastime with you would be stargazing.

"baby, look. it's me, mars-io," he'd say whilst pointing up to the large, bright star in the night sky.

when it's too cloudy outside, or when the weather isn't forgiving, he'll turn on the indoor star projector he bought so the two of you can stargaze in the comfort of your own bed.

— yunho

is the epitome of romantic.

is constantly smothering you in love and affection.

always has heart eyes and admiration in his eyes at whatever small task you do or say.

rant about an ancient dynasty?

heart eyes.

bombard him with useless information about a certain abandoned island.

heart eyes.

gush about the new cute bakery that recently opened up?

heart eyes.

if you had a money jar for every time he says 'i love you', you'd have enough money to buy a plane ticket or two.

always willing to drop everything to help you with whatever it is you need.

will wake up in the middle of the night when you text him to ask if he's awake or not.

willingly stays up to keep you company.

but sometimes, when he's too tired, he'll knock out accidentally and profusely apologize to you in the morning.

very supportive of your life choices.

hates seeing you cry because it makes him want to bawl his eyes out as well.

his hugs are bone-crushing.

but he is a gentle giant nonetheless.

likes to attempt to bake pastries with you.

half of the time, the goods either turn out undercooked or burnt.

"they have love in them, that's all that matters."

will always insist that you can rant to him about anything and everything.

you've never felt so valued in your life before meeting him.

is the most understanding human being you've ever gotten the pleasure of knowing.

"i wish we were vampires," he says one day.

you give him an amused look, lips outstretched into a smile, "why, silly?"

"so we can spend an eternity together."

— yeosang

his heart flutters when you notice the smallest things he does.

it makes him feel appreciated and acknowledged.

like when he changes up his hairstyle or earrings.

or when he wears a new sweater.

a big, big softie when it comes to you.

can and will want to spend all day in your arms on his days off.

quick witted and has a knack for noticing the tiniest detail.

very shy and awkward at first.

but when he gets more comfortable as time passes on, you won't be safe from his snarky little comments anymore.

will constantly bring up the thing you said or did months ago to prove a point.

"oh, you like this flavor? three months ago you told me it tasted like vomit."

"remember that time you woke up in a rush to get to work thinking you were late, only for me to drag you back inside because it was three in the fucking morning?"

you stop mid-chew and peer up from your plate of rice.

"your point, yeosang?"

"oh, nothing this time. i just wanted to tease you."

is the type to have a mid-life crisis when you can't decide on a restaurant.

"but i don't want to eat at the chicken place again," you'll whine.

"it's been thirty minutes, and you still haven't decided what you want!"

"you're rushing me!"

"y/n! just pick!"

loves to cuddle with you, especially in the colder months.

wraps a blanket around your frame and tugs you in closer against his chest.

pretends not to understand your jokes just to spite and tease you.

loves when you cling onto him.

his favorite pastime with you would be just walking around together at night and trying out different types of street food.

or even visiting any of the local beaches for a relaxing walk together.

— san

persistently keen about whenever you feel upset or down.

he reads you better than any open book.

sometimes, it scares you, but you appreciate how he's always so eagle-eyed about your behavior.

loves to hug your head.

you allow wooyoung to crash some of your dates with san sometimes.

other times, san will whine and tell him to go find his own date.

"if y/n accepted you as a boyfriend, then you should've disclosed that i'm part of the deal as well. buy one get one free."

"as what exactly?"

"the hot, clingy best friend."

will take numerous duck-faced selfies of himself because you think they're cute.

often times, he'll ask you to mirror his expression, only for him to press his lips against yours a second before his phone snaps the picture.

likes when you kiss his dimple.

"y/n! it looks like a crater from the amount of times you've kissed it."

he likes to tease you.

a lot.

touchy.

very touchy.

always has an arm around you.

rests his chin against your shoulders.

playfully smacks your rear when you're sassy with him.

or leans in to hold your jaw whilst whispering teasing words into your ear that has you becoming docile and bothered in mere seconds.

has you wrapped around his finger as much as you have him wrapped around your own.

likes to have weekly picnics with you at the park and admires all the dogs running about.

"i should bring byeol next week. maybe she'll like to play fetch too."

"i don't think that's a good idea.."

you often find him fast asleep holding onto a plushie for dear life whenever you're away.

you'll pull it away from his arms, causing him to stir awake groggily.

he'll stare in confusion as you throw the plushie aside, before pulling you in tighter as you wriggle into his arms.

"you're softer than shiber," he'll mumble sleepily against the crown of your head.

— mingi

mingi is sometimes self-conscious around the public eye and others, but when it comes to you, those layers of fear and insecurity get stripped away instantly.

doesn't mind being vulnerable with you.

he craves affection, adores it even, but is insecure about not being able to return it well enough for his liking.

likes when you give him attention.

easily gets jealous when someone else grabs your interest.

reassuring him 24/7.

"yes, mingi. you're the love of my life."

kissing his pouting lips for good measure.

the smallest of gestures has him a blushing mess.

even holding hands in public.

when he's not being a sentimental sap, he'll like teasing you lovingly.

"wow, you have this many photos of me in your phone?"

you'll scrutinize him in confusion.

"are you that obsessed with me, y/n?"

"mingi! you told me to take half of those photos of you!"

"oh, right. i forgot."

a silence weighs down onto the two of you.

"but would you have taken them if i never asked you to?"

constantly laughs about the things you say, although you don't think you're that funny.

always seeks your approval subconsciously.

will always shield you from the rain, playfully yelling at the droplets sometimes.

"you can't make y/n wet! only i can!"

"mingi! we are in public!"

wanted to go strawberry picking because he saw a celebrity try it out on instagram live.

accidentally steps on many berries though.

"it's okay, they'll just make another plant. i did them a favor."

brags about you like no tomorrow.

even for the tiniest, minuscule thing.

"oh, i've already tried the brand of ice cream. y/n always buys that for me."

"i don't need to pay all this money for a measly slice of cake. y/n's cakes are much better."

"no, wooyoung. i'm not jealous of your new shoes." he'll lightly pinch the boy's side, "y/n and i have already bought ourselves matching pairs."

"you two are so fucking cheesy, it hurts."

when he's not bragging about you, he's boasting about himself.

but if that's what helps him raise his confidence levels up, you'll gladly sit down hours on end listening to how he has more 'swag' and 'charisma' than all of his older friends combined.

— wooyoung

teases you like his life depends on it.

says you can't get enough of him, when in reality it's the other way around.

but you let him believe whatever he wants.

but deep down he just really gets satisfied with himself if he raises your mood and makes you smile.

especially when you're not having a great day.

uses way too many emojis when texting you.

"wooyoung, why am i saved as as 'clingy bug' on your contacts?"

he'll squawk indignantly and laugh awkwardly for a second.

"who told you this lie!?"

"seonghwa?"

always wants to show off your love in front of his friends.

"no, i don't want my early birthday gift now. wait until the others show up, and do it front of them."

"but why?"

"so everyone can see how much you love me. can you also cry for good measure?"

"absolutely not."

he enjoys the dates you have in his apartment the most.

the ones where he cooks for you and asks for your help, only for him to pester you about over-seasoning or undersalting something.

"okay, fine! we'll just order take out if it tastes that bad," you pout, flinging a small piece of onion on his face.

his head instantly snaps back to eye you judgingly, fist gripping the poor spatula.

"over my dead body."

"so, y/n. how does my plating look?"

"it's beautiful, wooyoung. you've outdone y-"

"what else is beautiful?" he demands, face leaning over the table to give you a knowing grin.

you shove a piece of meat and rice into his mouth, shrugging nonchalantly.

"me."

he deflates at your answer, spluttering pieces of rice onto your face.

"jung wooyoung, you slob!"

— jongho

is the type of boyfriend to stop you in the middle of the road to tie your shoe for you.

very charming and goofy in his own way.

takes pride in himself and his abilities to cater to your every whim and need.

even when you don't ask for his help.

aggressively opens jars for you when you struggle to pry them open.

"no one messes with my y/n."

"you're fussing at a jar of pickled radish, baby."

the type to cling close to you in public in fear of any of the bicyclists or pedestrians bumping into you and harming you in any way.

sometimes acts like you're made of glass.

while it's endearing occasionally, it is a bit suffocating at other times.

doesn't believe you when you say you're tough and don't need protection.

very selfless and willing to help you with anything you need.

never one to shy away from social gatherings with his friends, always pulling you along with him despite you being shy and clingy most of the night.

also a big tease.

when you help him hold down his legs for sit ups, he asks for a smooch.

pulls away from you when you try to kiss him.

and will laugh at your pouting face as he urges you to try once more.

"stop moving, i just want to kiss you!"

after numerous tries, he finally allows you ( you truly think you over-powered him though ) to kiss his cheeks or lips.

he then proceeds to squawk loudly in retaliation and playful disgust.

although he loves teasing you, when the game is flipped the other way, he'll be a shy mess of embarrassment.

"i don't mumble your name in my sleep."

"you always do, silly."

tucked underneath his macho exterior, you know he's prone to criticism and takes it to heart much more than he likes to show and admit.

so, whenever you get the chance, you always fulfill his need to be appreciated, loved, and taken care of.

is utterly and extremely protective of you.

"who just whistled at you?" he grumbles, "i'll break their jaw like an apple, you know i will."