#and heaven doesn't like loopholes

[heliacalxrising]

Who wants to bet that the Angelic Council was furious when Charlie was born because they were worried that Lucifer and Lilith were going to start birthing an army, and the reason Charlie doesn't have siblings is because they threatened to kill her, and Lucifer had to grovel for them not to? And the deal was that they could have no more children, and Charlie had to stay in her realm or else?

[bl0ndwave]

Do you know what I find interesting? That there's evil in Heaven (Metatron), while I don't see that in Hell.

Beelzebub doesn't feel that evil to me, and Shax neither, she's just obeying orders. They don't seem to be that ominous to me.

Of course, Hell can be dangerous, but in a way that's predictable enough that it's not that scary. Demons are "supposed to be" the bad guys, so they act like that. They're doing their job, which they understand as "being evil", and therefore they do it in a very transparent way. It's literally their job description, it can't be cryptic.

Meanwhile Metatron is calculating, and you never know what he's up to. He breaks rules and finds loopholes. We don't know what moral philosophy he's even following, while with everyone else (in Heaven and Hell) it's pretty clear. Metatron also uses very un-angelic methods to reach his goals, like manipulation, emotional blackmailing, gaslighting, condescension... And he pretends to be on Aziraphale's side and play on his deep-seated trust in Heaven when he tries to convince our angel to go back to Heaven with him.

So I've always felt like that the threat is much bigger from Heaven than from Hell, which is quite paradoxical.

(Source: an outcome of my discussion with @good-dandelions)

[hero-israel]

Let me tell you being a former Christian this shit goes so much deeper than a lot of born Jews realize. The Christian worldview (specifically Calvinist/Puritan) seeping into and pervading all of modern leftism is honestly frightening. But also it's very funny.

They believe that there are Good people and Bad people, and that any mistake or lapse in judgment or instance of not being educated is a Mask Off moment, showing who is a member of the Elect and who is not. If you fuck up, that's not just a fuck up, it's Revealing. You are damned, were always damned, you were just good at hiding it, and now we know the truth and are doubly angry because not only are you evil, you lied about it. The only recourse is to shun you, and if that leads to your death, so be it. Anyone who's seen any micro celebrity get canceled saw this in action.

And the only way you can prove you're a member of the Elect is to operate as if you have nothing to hide. You have to loudly and proudly proclaim your righteousness. If you don't have anything to hide why would you be worried? Privacy is suspicious. You Must Speak on everything they deem important or else you obviously agree with the Bad People. There is no room for discussion or healthy debate. There are no loopholes or subclauses or other points of view to consider. You're with us or against us. If you don't constantly go around saying you're with us, you're probably secretly against us. The only way to convince your neighbors, whom you inherently distrust, that you're one of the Good Ones, is to perform righteousness, parrot righteous words. The only way to redeem yourself is by grandiose acts of self flagellation, perhaps being the right demographic, or by accusing others of Heresy.

The goal is not to bring good into the world, it's to recruit more people into the same thought patterns (that's kind of all Christian denominations though). Because if you can convince your community that you're one of the Elect, that means G-d preselected you for Heaven, and you're golden. No repercussions or consequences baby. The only material benefit for you is that you "get" to proclaim you're going to Heaven and everyone has to agree with you. If anyone doesn't they're probably going to Hell anyway. You're on the right side (of history), so why should you ever self reflect or grow? Why should you question anything? Why should nuance or empathy exist? This is about Right and Wrong. We know where we stand, where do you stand?

Every single aspect of American culture and politics, right and "left" alike, was planted by the pilgrims, and it is so fundamentally antithetical to true Leftist thought. Remember all the actually successful Western Leftist movements were started in Europe (and Israel cough cough)... because they kicked all their fucking psychotic Calvinists out. Those people went to America and that's a big big big reason why we don't have any near as much of a robust Leftist movement as even socially conservative European countries (and Israel cough cough). And what's funny is I still find myself slipping into these thought patterns, which is so not compatible with Jewish philosophy or theology. It's been years and I'm still not done.

It's a hell of a drug to kick, so I definitely don't trust white goysiche college kids who've been antitheists for about 6 months since they left their Republican parents' homes to have any great success in unlearning and unprogramming from this. Which is kind of obvious in that I see them acting just like their conservative Christian parents every day on every social media platform, swap out a gun toting white Jesus with some noble savage idea of Palestine, absolving the West of its sins against the Global South.

It is a cult structured around spiritual isolation, antisocial behavior, and it is inherently against any kind of political movement that centers and celebrates the Community. It is designed to tear communities apart and foster obedience to whatever authority can force itself on them. And this has been going on for almost 500 years, there is nothing we can do about it.

Thank you for the insightful look. Their "purity culture" approach definitely had to come from somewhere.

[ronancexists]

Hi everyone. I haven't been able to stop thinking about Hazbin Hotel since it came out. I just wanted to get this thought out there and share it with people to see if anyone else has been thinking about it or if it's just me.

So, we all know that Alastor has made a deal of his own, but we don't know with who. I know a lot of people theorize that it's Lilith, and I did too until I watched season 1 again, specifically episodes 7 & 8.

In episode 7, Alastor and Charlie finally make a deal. Alastor told Charlie that the exorcists can be killed, and return, she's going to owe him favors of his choosing in which she doesn't have to harm anybody. I was surprised he didn't want Charlie's soul, but considering she is the daughter of Lilith and Lucifer, Alastor probably didn't want to take the chance of incurring Lucifer's wrath in that way instead of the petty way he did in episode 5.

At first, I was thinking maybe he didn't want it because of a deal he made with Lilith where he couldn't harm Charlie and that's why he's invested in the hotel and in helping her, but then the lyric where he says "she's filled with potential that I could guide" suggests maybe he didn't want Charlie's soul because owning her soul wouldn't be helpful to him in accomplishing whatever he's plotting. Maybe he just really needs her and her power, and by owning her soul, he'd diminish her power. Kind of like with Husk.

Then, in episode 8, the finale song, Alastor has a line that goes "The constraints of my deal surely have a back door." That line in particular is what got me into analyzing Alastor and everything he's done so far. Him saying, or I guess singing, that could possibly mean he didn't make a deal with Charlie to hold it over Lilith. It means he still hasn't figured out a loophole to the deal he made, and I know a lot of people who are on board with the whole "Alastor and Lilith made a deal" theory think the reason he wanted to make a deal with Charlie was to use it to get off of Lilith's leash. But that line he sings could mean that he wanted Charlie to make a deal with him for another reason and that he still has a lot of work to do in discovering a way he could get out of his own.

After all, we are all well aware of the fact that all the songs serve a purpose in moving the story along. Not to mention that they're all freaking bangers. Which is why that lyric has started this whole "What if..." thing with Alastor and the leash Husk revealed he's on.

That being said, it's definitely not a coincidence that he and Lilith were both missing for 7 years, and the fact that Zestial said in episode 4 that there are rumors Alastor "fell into holy arms" suggests that Alastor might have indeed figured out a way to get to Heaven, and perhaps he did meet Lilith while he was there and struck a deal with her.

I'm open to either one of these theories, but I do think it would be kind of neat if I was right and that it turned out Alastor didn't make a deal with Lilith at all, instead it was with somebody else. Maybe someone we've already met, or maybe somebody we haven't.

But regardless of what happens, I love this show and I can't wait for season 2!

Please let me know what you guys think. This thought has been niggling my brain for a while and I just needed to get it out somewhere.

P.S.- A list of things I want to see in season 2 and beyond:

- CHARLIE AND VAGGIE CHARLIE AND VAGGIE CHARLIE AND VAGGIE CHARLIE AND VAGGIE CHARLIE AND VAGGIE CHARLIE AND VAGGIE

- As in kisses, cuddles, adorableness, (maybe even a sex scene considering they did an entire episode with Angel & his pornos), Vaggie carrying Charlie as they fly around Hell

- Not to mention an ENTIRE SONG sung by the two of them. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely ADORE THE SHIT out of the reprise of ''More Than Anything," but these two need a FULL fucking song together

- More of Carmilla and Vaggie bonding and being badasses together

- Angel and Husk becoming a thing

- Learn more about what Lilith and Alastor have been up to while they've both been gone for 7 years

- What Heaven is going to do now that Adam is dead and the Extermination failed

- Also is Heaven or Emily or Sera or ANYONE even gonna ADDRESS the fact that Vaggie was revealed to be a fallen exterminator angel in episode 6?!?! Like I'm sorry but Adam dropped that fucking bomb and the only reaction they showed was Charlie's and nobody even like asked what had happened or why Vaggie was cast out?!?! I'd really like to see something, ANYTHING, that acknowledges this very big reveal to Heaven actually fucking happened lmao.

- Lilith's reunion & explanation to Charlie and Lucifer

- More of our Short King being his nerdy, powerful self

- Lute & Vaggie being toxic exes and/or getting a duet together (a girl can dream lmaoooo)

- Sir Pentious and his adventures in Heaven

- Emily and what she comes up with to help Charlie because she is the true Angel up in Heaven

- Sera getting a fucking kick to the face (or multiple) for letting the Exterminations happen and for all the other hypocritical shit that's been going on

- Everyone's reactions when they find out Sir Pentious has been redeemed

- Niffty being Niffty

- Alastor's plans and what he wants Charlie to do for him because of the deal they made

- Angel & Husk getting out of their respective deals with Valentino and Alastor

- Valentino dying a slow, agonizing, shitty death for what he's done to Angel

- What Keekee being the key to the hotel really means

- More fucking bangers to add to my playlist :)

That's all I can think of for now. If I think of anything else I'll add it on :)

[yourebeingsilly]

it's been more than a month yet thinking about how Neil said season 2 is a bridge to what was supposed to be in the book sequel still keeps me awake at night 'cause the math isn't mathing for me

you see, i can’t see how it was supposed to work, taking into consideration Aziraphale's book personality. i mean, Aziraphale's final s2 decision, in my humble opinion, wouldn’t at all work for his book!version (and radio!version, obviously. I'm still not really sure if it works for me even in terms of his show!version), since book!Aziraphale, how do i put it? yeah, i doubt he’d give a single fuck about the idea of reforming heaven and making it better and stuff. like under no circumstances whatsoever

because — though I might be wrong — I always thought the point of Aziraphale's character is that he doesn’t believe in heaven being right. it's evident from this part of the book when he interferes in a TV program while on a search for a body. he calls heaven propagandistic here and says it doesn't matter who wins, hell or heaven, because humanity loses either way

and it's not, in fact, the first time Aziraphale shows disapproval of heaven and its methods. he has already said himself that hell and heaven are practically the same before here, while discussing their head offices with Crowley

so he knows for a fact that heaven is just as thirsty for blood and cruel as hell. they are not the side of the light. he knows it from the start, and the fact that heaven wants war just as much as hell does is not an insight for him. it just reassures him of what he's known before. and he's quite strong in his beliefs, too

and i just keep trying to figure out how we were supposed to get to book!Aziraphale not only going back there but also taking up an archangel position — and if we ever were, really

i honestly can’t find an answer to this in my head, so i thought i might share it here. i can’t be the only one thinking about this on repeat, and maybe someone else has found an answer or a loophole they’ll want to share so i can find peace again

[seattlesea]

Lorien Legacies Characters as Things My Family and I Have Said (part five)

Nine: God the smell in here is making me want to die John: Then go outside Five: Then die --- Maggie, writing a book: Can your breathing get cut off if there's a heavy weight on your chest? Adam: Yeah Maggie: Cool Adam: That's how they killed people in the old days, by stacking a bunch of rocks on their chest and suffocating them Maggie: Okay a 'Yes' would've been fine --- John: Finish your food Nine: I'm going to go home and take the fattest shit you've ever seen do not make me eat more --- Eight: I'm psychic, I can see into people's futures. I see in your near future that you're going to get sick Eight: *coughs in Nine's face* --- Adam: Did you eat? Maggie: Yeah. A strawberry Adam: That's it? Maggie: Two strawberries --- Six and John: *talking about spirit animals* Six: You'd be a swan John: Because I'm so graceful? Six: No cause you're white --- Sam: I was actually really good at orchestra in school, I was first chair on the cello Six: *puts her hand to her chest and gasps* Oh my god! Sam: What? Six, sarcastically: What a cool story! --- Six and Marina: *having a normal adult conversation* Eight: My black olive just rolled across my laptop --- Nine: Dirty mother... John: *giving him a dirty look with Ella next to him* Nine:...Of...Jesus --- One: Hey what're you gonna be for Halloween? Adam: I dunno yet what about you? One: I was thinking of being a witch Adam: Oh that's cool One: Yeah maybe you can be my broomstick so I can ride you all night Adam: WHAT- One: What, is that bad? Would you rather I be a pirate and you be a sword so I can stick you in me? Adam: *screaming* --- Ella: *touches a gross blanket* Ew Marina: What? Ella: It's giving me the ick Marina: The what? Ella: I'm acoustic --- Six: Bitch, I do NOT lift to be called a lipstick lesbian --- Five: *staring at a candle* Eight: What are you doing? Five: Trying to light myself on fire with my mind --- Nine, in public loud as hell: Yeah I'd fuck young Elvis Strangers passing by: *giving him grossed-out looks* Nine: What? You would too Nine, muttering: Prudes --- Sam: Look at my skeleton animal collection. I can a bat, I got a rat, and I got a cat Hannu, sadly: But no hats --- John: *celebrating his birthday and opening gifts* Five, silently crying: *places a couple wadded-up singles in front of John* That's all I got --- Six: You know it would've been easier if you just took the highway Marina: But...the trees... --- Adam: I'm gay John after taking Adam to a Fall Out Boy concert and watching him sit on the floor with three empty couches: Cool --- One and Six: *Talking about the ped@ at their job* Six: He's the reason there's an 18+ age limit --- Five: Despite popular belief, I will be going to Heaven because Satan will be jealous someone has a fatter ass than him --- Sam teaching the Lorics to make cereal: Okay first gather your things Lorics: :) Sam: Then, you put in your milk Daniela: Huh? Lorics: :) Sam: Next, you add your cereal Daniela: Hell no Lorics: :) Sam: Then drizzle in your honey Daniela: Bro WHAT Lorics: :) Sam: And finally, put it in the microwave Daniela: WHAT THE FUCK Lorics: :) Sam: And then you have cereal Lorics: Yay Daniela: I'm going to kill you --- Marina: So what is credit score? Sam: *ten minute explanation of credit score, payments, debt, and loans with examples* Marina:... Sarah: The loophole so the bank can't lend poor people money to stop being poor Marina: Ohhhh --- Nine: Damn, dude, I really don't know anything about you. I only know like your favorite color and animal, the music you listen to, your favorite movies, how you dress, your favorite coffee flavor, your personality, your deepest fear, your address, your entire backstory, all the people you like and hate, and your habit of needing to use a straw with every single drink or it doesn't 'taste right' John:... --- Eight: Damn I'm thirsty Adam: Then go drink water Eight: I can't, I'm fasting Adam:...Well I think you're supposed to drink water if you're running around all the time Eight:...

[bigpyrolizard]

Predictions/ headcanons / things I would love to have in Good Omens season 3, a list so far.

Crowley takes care of bookshop while Aziraphale is in heaven (plus helps Muriel like Earth more) * bonus points if he's a parental figure to them* **bonus bonus if they both share the gender fluid**

Muriel telling Maggie and Nina that Aziraphale went to Heaven, "YOU CONFESSED AND HE DIED!?!?" From Maggie before Crowley steps in and clarifies a bit

The Sound of Music instantly starts playing when Aziraphale gets to Heaven

Malicious compliance Aziraphale, finding all possible loopholes in heaven

Aziraphale has a suggestion box

Small things that remind Crowley and Aziraphale of each other, yellow wheel caps on Bentley, Azi keeps the photo of them, etc

Aziraphale visits Crowley in the bookshop while he's asleep for a day, pulls up blanket, reminds himself of reason to go to heaven, one to protect

Jesus being good friends with Crowley ( I showed him all the wonders of the world)

Adam and the Them show up, shenanigans ensue

(alternative headcanon: Crowley and Adam make so much chaos on Earth that Aziraphale has to come down from Heaven to fix it/ see what the fuss is about)

God doesn't actually have a plan, like she made it up so people wouldn't question her and she just let it go from there, "What plan?" "The ineffable plan!?" "Oh, I made that up" ??

( alternative: Aziraphale finds plans in Heaven that Crowley and him were made for each other by God, little bit of free will experiment)

We see the rest of that night in 1941, hear the nightingale song for the first time, the apology dance, end of the Zombie Nazis

Ineffable wives pls, 1960s, cowboys, Arabian nights, ect

Aziraphale takes off Crowley's glasses and says "there you are"

South Downs cottage, a hug scene, confessions and what not, they hold hands like they like to do

Love of my Life by Queen plays or just Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy again

More to come but first we need to ensure season 3, RENEW GOOD OMENS!!! PAY YOUR ACTORS, WRITERS, AND ANIMATORS!!!

[vidavalor]

Do you have anything about all the birds in Good Omens? I'm particularly interested in the fact that Maggie has parrots on her cardigan, and they're known to mimic people... But all birds would be welcome too

Hiya @havemyheartaziraphale! How's it going, dear? Thanks for the ask. 💕 Skinny lattes and eccles cakes are available to go with your Maggie-related post. One meta about what I think Maggie and parrots have to do with Job, crows, pearls, toxic self-talk, and Nina Simone beneath the cut.

In order to talk about the parrots on Maggie's sweater, I think we first have to talk about the crows in the Job minisode and what the deal with the many birds on GO is in general. In S1, we are given a scene in which we learn that Crowley has changed his name from "Crawley" to "Crowley" and that doing so is a rejection of the "bit too squirming-at-your-feet-ish" snake-like name he had. We can see that he now appears to have swapped out snakes for that of a crow but we don't really know why. We know that this means something to Aziraphale when he learns of it in S1 but it's not until S2 that we get the Job minisode telling us the story. After, we can see more layers to the symbolism of birds in GO. When Crowley is tasked with killing the goats, he wants to save them, instead. The way he does so is to change their outward appearance to that of crows-- because the crows are not endangered by Heaven and Hell... because they're crows. Because they're birds.

Ironically, the same living things that angels and demons are like are the living things that, on Earth, are not usually seen as possessions of any one person because they live wild and free. Crowley can save the goats by turning them into crows because even Heaven doesn't see crows as possessions of Job.

In the eyes of Heaven, all of these things belonged to Job-- he owned them. They were his possessions, the way that the coffee cup I'm sipping from while typing this is my possession. Aziraphale correctly objected to Job's children listed alongside his farm and his animals-- and I'm sure he didn't view them as Job's possessions-- but his objection to Heaven was over a sense not wanting to murder children. While that is obviously a good thing, at no point is Aziraphale arguing the point that none of the living creatures on this list actually belong to Job in the first place. To argue this to Heaven would have been a bit fruitless at the time but I'm just pointing out the differences in approach here to this problem between Aziraphale and Crowley.

Crowley-- through unfortunate personal experience-- knows what it's like to be a living being whom another views as a possession and so it's him who finds the loophole. He can save the goats if the goats don't look like goats or anything else that anyone considers Job's possessions. What can't be killed because they don't belong to Job? Birds. The crows that belong to the sky. They fly free. In the end, Crowley takes Job's house (which can be rebuilt and is inanimate) and he drinks Job's wine (the Earth produces more) and the already-dead ox was Aziraphale's dinner (and the inspiration to save Job's kids the next day via the ox ribs). That's it.

The moment that Aziraphale learned how Crowley saved the goats by masking them as crows is also the beginning of the two of them developing a hidden way of communicating with one another-- a coded birdsong that they make reference to in connection with another kind of bird... nightingales. Demons are traditionally aligned with goats so Crowley changing his name and telling Aziraphale that he's taken on this name that only the two of them understand is showing that Crowley sees this metaphor himself very clearly and that he views himself as a free-flying crow, even if he has to pretend to be a demonic goat of Satan. He belongs to himself but he chooses to share that self with Aziraphale, who is the only other person who knows what his name truly means and who he really is.

The ironic thing about all of this is that angels and demons are basically already bird-humans in how they present, right? They can shapeshift to whatever they wish to be but when we see them, they are, by and large, in a human-like form and/or with wings and the ability to fly. So there's an irony to birds then representing freedom because, as we have seen, the angels and demons are as trapped as their human parallels can be at times-- in toxic relationships, with themselves and/or with others, and looking for the same peace found in kindness and love.

Maggie and Nina are both blended parallels of Crowley and Aziraphale. They each represent different aspects of Crowley and Aziraphale's stories. Their costumes blend colors and symbolic stuff related to both characters at once and it's not just the parrots worth a look in Maggie's first outfit in S2:

While Maggie resembles Aziraphale a bit and wears his blue and white colors, she also has a red head wrap on that bumps up in the middle (and she has an orange one that does the same thing in her scenes with Aziraphale early on, when she's also in a Crowley-and-Aziraphale-blended orange tartan shirt). It's a nod to Crowley's red hair and perpetual pompadour. Her blouse also ties in a ribbon that hangs down and matches in color and shape to the snakes on her sweater, echoing serpent Crowley and his ties.

(We aren't focusing on her outfits in this meta b/c you asked about Maggie but look at Nina in the same scene in the above gif-- her cardigan is yellow, brown, red, pink and black. Nina's sweaters all season long are if you threw all the Ineffable Husbands' colors onto the same garment.)

If you notice, the parrots on Maggie's sweater are upside down and their tails are actually right-side-up hissing snakes. Overlaid between them and connecting them are daisies, which is actually an wordplay thing related to the etymology of Maggie's name. Maggie comes from Margaret, which means "pearl", as it comes from the Latin word for what we today refer to as "pearl", which is margarita. The daisy's formal name is "F. Marguerite" and is named as such because of daisies being seen as "the pearls of flowers."

Almost all of the possible nicknames or variants for Margaret/Marguerite/Margarita are also featured in Good Omens at different times to date, with the exception so far of "Rita." [Though they have cast Harry Potter's Rita Skeeter lol but that doesn't count.] Maggie uses the most common one as her first name. "Daisy" is also sometimes a nickname for Margaret, in keeping with the etymology I mentioned above. Fraulein Greta Kleinschmidt's first name is a nickname for Margareta; the French restaurant on Whickber Street is named Marguerite's. Aziraphale's magic words, one level of which is with relation to his and Crowley's relationship, also has a sly use of another, common nickname for Margaret, with an oyster-ish connotation, among other things:

"Bananafish, gorilla, shoelace, with a dash of nutmeg."

A pearl is a gem produced by the combination of outside matter mixing into the nacre within a closed shell of a mollusk or other bivalve, especially that of the oyster. Oysters, of course, have relevance to Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, as they are the focal point of their conversation in Rome, which is pretty heavily suggested (in that scene and others) to be when they started sleeping together.

Maggie is also seen wearing her namesake pearls during The Ball and into the Final 15, when Aziraphale puts her in what appears to be a pearl-buttoned (and maybe pearl-trimmed) blouse. She is memorably wearing that when some other visual wordplay comes into being-- when she becomes a bird (in the sense of slang for English woman) who gives Shax "the bird":

Maggie's other sweater, worn after the parrot/daisy/snakes and during her Crowley-arranged kinda-Vavoom, is mustard in color and features two women and music notes in the same, dual positions of the parrot/daisy/snakes on her first sweater. It draws a comparison between being a bird in the human sense-- a woman, a person-- and being a bird and a snake and a daisy and a pearl... it's a nod, imo, to GO's comparison of other living things that exist in nature to the experiences of the human and human-like characters in a way that a certain Nina Simone song does to beautiful effect, as we'll look at in a second.

Parrots are among the world's most caged birds, though. They're fascinating and kind of eerie because, as you pointed out in your Ask, they have the ability to mimic people. (So can some crows, btw.) Parrots are unique among birds because they actually lack the ability to distinguish between birds and other living creatures. Most birds know the bird songs of their kinds and sing them to one another. Parrots, crows, mynah birds and a couple of others are capable of learning to imitate it and the reason why they do is as a survival imperative.

In the wild, birds like parrots flock together and trade off responsibilities. Sometimes, they're looking for food; sometimes, they're safe-guarding the flock. It's impossible for one parrot to survive on their own so they use their vocal skills to fit in with the flock. This is why parrots are chatty and why they'll try to imitate the words of people in a household (and just any sounds around them) if they're kept as a pet-- they're trying to fit in to survive. They just don't see any difference between other parrots and other beings, including humans-- it's just all the same flock.

Sound like a certain lovely record shop owner we know?

One of S2's biggest surprises is that when the events of The Meeting Ball reveal to Maggie and Nina that Crowley and Aziraphale are not technically human, Maggie takes it surprisingly well. (Nina, out of fucks to give about anything and deciding to throw her lot in with Maggie, is also game once she decides to stay and join this weird af family.) The reason why Maggie doesn't care what species, exactly, Aziraphale is is because she already knows what's in his heart.

He's always been good to her. He's like her family. He's a kind person and her friend and he's in trouble. Maggie does for Aziraphale what he's always done for her-- try to make him feel like he's not alone. Whoever the people are at the door are, Maggie is willing to help and, for the first time in the series-- because of Maggie-- we have the supernatural and the human beings teaming up. It's her and Nina and Gabriel that are protecting the upstairs private residence of the bookshop and keeping the demons from getting in there. They stand up for Aziraphale and they do so because of Maggie's decision that they should. She parrots the kindness that Aziraphale taught her and accepts him and his partner and his weird angel brother lol as all part of the same flock with no second thought because she's lovely like that.

Parrots, though, are some of the most caged and tormented birds in the world. Maggie's negative self-talk and her unfortunate circumstances at the start of S2 are leading her down a dark path when we first meet her. She says she didn't go to parties-- she wasn't "that kind of teenager"-- implying that she had a hard time growing up and a probable history of being bullied. We never meet any other family that she may have or have had and she goes to Aziraphale for personal advice, implying that she might have a difficult family situation as well. Her business was struggling and she was depressed when we met her. When Shax begins to, well, parrot Maggie's inner thoughts aloud during The Meeting Ball, though, it's pretty horrifying. Maggie thinks herself "unloved and unlovable." She's so cruel to herself.

The self-image we're presented with that Maggie has for herself doesn't match at all what we've seen. The Maggie we've met is kind, gentle, honest and funny. She runs an insanely cute record shop. She's artsy and has a lot of style and great taste in old films and music. She's smart and she has a lot of love to give. Maggie isn't perfect. She's a little judgy (let Nina drink her wine in peace lol) and she gets in her own way when it comes to trying to connect with others sometimes. No one is flawless, though, and if those are someone's worst traits, then they're a really good person.

Maggie is a trapped parrot, though, at the start of the season. She is boxed into her life. The debt forgiveness from Aziraphale helps to set her free a bit and we can see the life she would like. Everyday, she looks across at freedom for her-- a romance with the owner of the American-themed coffee shop across the street. Symbolically, Maggie wants love and freedom-- from her own negative self-image and from what's keeping her feeling down about herself. Crowley and Aziraphale do actually help her with that-- they free her from debt and help her connect with Nina. (They might have actually overshot the mark a bit because she's so confident by 2.06 that she can't wait to give love life advice to *checks notes* a millenniums-old Cupid but that's another meta lol.)

Maggie brings Nina a Nina Simone record because they share a name but that's not entirely why. It's really because Nina Simone sings in "Feeling Good" of the whole world being a bold world and a new life of feeling good that Maggie desperately wants.

Like in "Feeling Good", Good Omens uses the other living things on Earth as metaphors for human experience-- which is also what the supernatural characters are. Birds can be caged but learn to-- and are meant to-- fly free and birds can be the humans or the supernatural creatures because, really, Maggie is correct-- they're all the same flock. Birds flyin' high/You know how I feel... fish in the sea/you know how I feel...

These creatures exist free in nature and know no emotional turmoil, just peace. They are free from inner turmoil and can just live and love and be in the moment-- what we're all searching for, really. Peaceful, precious, fragile existence, as Crowley put his life with Aziraphale, even if much got in the way of it in S2. S3 will hopefully see some of the fragility of it fall away for them. For Maggie, it's already begun to.

Sleep in peace when day is done/That's what I mean/And this whole world is a new world/Is a bold world/for me...

[fandomworld9728]

The Life of the Morningstars - Chapter 11:

As the dust settled, Lucifer looking up at the ceiling where the chandelier had fallen from. Was the wood rotting? Or maybe the chain was rusted and weak? Could it have been too heavy? He didn't wanna think about if someone, Alastor, had made sure it fell. If the sinner had been the reason for it to fall, Lucifer is pretty sure that it had been meant to fall close to him and not directly on top of him. Hands above his head to hold lighting fixture, he looks in the shocked and relieved faces of the hotel residents.

"Are you okay?!"

"I'm fine kiddo. You know it takes more than something like this to harm your old man." A wave of his hand had it fixed up. "Any chance I could help with replacing damaged areas of the hotel?"

~

After being shown around the hotel, Lucifer stood out on a balcony with Charlie and her girlfriend. "You got a great place here kiddo. Could use a little love, care, and magic to fix up a few things. I'd be happy to help with that and getting you some material to set up a better structure for your guests."

"Thank you so much dad. That really means a lot. Honestly, I didn't think you'd wanna put so much work into it. Since you don't...."

"I know. I've pretty much given up. But you're a fighter and I want to be in your corner. I love that you want to see the best in people. Even if the sinners here are completely awful for the most part. Not to mention Heaven... they don't listen. Well... most of Heaven doesn't listen." Setting a hand on Charlie's shoulder, he gave her a small smile. "You know I'd fight anyone to protect you and your dream."

"Keeping that in mind... there's something we need to ask you." Vaggie didn't know what she was expecting from what her partner had told her about her dad, but this wasn't it. She knew Charlie didn't want to ask, but this was the best time to do it. So, the former angel took one for the team. "We need a meeting with Heaven-"

"Done."

"Wait. Just like that? Dad a-are you sure?"

"Of course. Adam has to be out of his fucking mind if he thinks he can get away with this shit. I've been trying to find a loophole in the deal for Exterminations. I gotta tell ya... I wasn't in the best frame of mind when I agreed to them. Not to mention, they had me backed into a corner with it. So, now I'm going to fix it however I can. It might take me a day or two to get it set up though." 

Something shook the hotel, interrupting their moment. Looking down at the scene on the ground, the three were shocked. Loan-sharks were attacking the hotel. Running down to the main floor, they took in the chaos inside. 

"All of you, get to a safe distance. I'll take care of this."

"No, my dear. Leave it to me. It's time to remind everyone why I am here. A reminder to all not to mess with the Radio Demon!" 

Lucifer watched in horror and fascination as Alastor grew larger than the building and started to massacre those other demons. Some of which he just swallowed whole. "Charlie... you remember those protection spells I taught you?"

"Yeah! I'm on it!"

"Okay. Now let's make sure this doesn't get too out of hand." Letting his wings out, the small king took to the sky to try and assist the sinner protecting the hotel. Not that there was much he could do. Alastor was handling it all quite nicely. The most Lucifer would have to do is help with repairs.

~

Today, Lucifer had learned something new about himself. He was helplessly and hopelessly drawn to and attracted to the radio demon. Everything about him charmed and pissed the king off at the same time.

It was fantastic! He hadn't felt like this in so long. The only problem is that he was too prideful to admit any of that to anyone. Well except for his daughter. Had to keep her in the know just in case.

Retiring to his room and skipping dinner, Lucifer laid back on his new bed. He couldn't sit through a group dinner tonight. Not with how soaked he felt. That would just be downright embarrassing!

Now... what was he supposed to do with this revelation?

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[twost3ps]

Listen! Listen! Listen to me! How about this: Paimon is the 7th ex, and Adam is the real mother of Stolas. 😂 I immediately thought of this when I listened to "No Way" from Six The Musical.

The only reason they break up is because Adam finds out that Paimon had an affair that he didn't know about. (Basically like Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon's situation.) This would add a layer of trauma to Stolas's situation. I guess it's like father, like son, except the father was an asshole while the son was forced into a child marriage and just wanted to be happy. Stolas didn't know or remember Adam being his mother because Paimon got child custody, and Adam wasn't allowed to see him. This would add some drama once Adam finds out about the child marriage and Stella abusing his son. Also, I want to see Lucifer find out that one of the Kings, more obedient to fight than the other kings, has two hundred legions of demons under his rule and is the asshole who wouldn't allow his now-boyfriend to see his son. I want to see how the fight would happen.

I'm so sorry for tge late reply it's exam week 4 me so I've just been jumped by work but-

LMAOOOO 💀💀💀💀

This is so good actually omg...

DAMN I JUST NARROWED IT DOWN TO 3 😭😭😭 I WANT THIS ONE TOOOOOOOOOO

AUSGSHSJSN man I love a good Adambowl hhhhhh

But so so good yummm

But I think Paimon's affair would definitely add more trauma to Adam.

Bro. If he's added, that mean THREE people cheated on him- Lilith, Eve, and now Paimon

It would KILL him

For Stolas, I think this could be fixed by saying Adam laid an egg and the incubation period is LONGGGG. And i mean long af, probably due to one being a Goetia and the other being a human, sooooo. It also puts out good reason why Stolas would have no idea that Adam was his mom in the first place because he hatches after Adam is forced away.

Paimon probably threatened to reveal Adam's residence in hell to Lucifur and heaven and it drove Adam away, scared of punishment. Either way, he would have to leave the baby. Still hurt tho and it made him so upset for years.

Sadly, the stolas plot point would most likely have to be scrapped to complexity and timeline stuff. I have no idea how it would work sory wiseee. But I'm gonna write this thing. It's more of an idea, so for now, yes, Adam has a baby ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

Oh but when Adam finds out what's going on 💀💀💀

Death man. He's gonna make Lucifur throw hands. Not on just Paimon but on Stella too. BRUHHH

Imo, I think Adam was and is a good parent. He's just an asshole to literally everybody else. He might have wanted to find Stolas before, but he had no idea where to go. And for plot reasons, he doesn't understand hell heigharchy or any of its big leaders, he just got with a big strong hot bird guy for a while. He just hoped his kid was fine (he was not lol)

As for Lucifur, yeah, he's gonna throw hands. He knows it's hypocritical of him to get mad at Paimon for cheating on Adam but he's still so pissed. And for not letting Adam see his kid, man if he could never see Charlie again he would actually die, so he's gonna beat tf out of him

I think Paimon would just take it ngl, he upset his king and although he doesn't understand why it's a big deal he's just gonna take it o3o

This thing is all over the place and has so many loopholes that I would have to get help for piecing this in but I do love this idea

[umbran6]

What if... Leo Became a God?

Okay, but what if Leo literally burnt away his mortality during Blood of Olympus while fighting Gaea?

Now, before you go ahead and bring out the sledgehammers and pitchforks, or think I'm just doing it as a joke, this is a possibility that I'm being very sincere in considering this. And it is a possibility, because this isn't the first time this has happened in myth - Heracles did it first. So if burning himself alive in a freaking pyre was all Heracles needed to ascend to godhood, Leo literally burning himself alive using his own flames to kill a Primordial should be more than enough. Plus there's the whole Hera mimicking what Demeter did with Demophon, so we could say he's nearly there. Him burning himself alive is just that final push he needed to become a god, burning away his own mortality.

I mean, think about it. The prophecy always said, an oath to hold with a final breath, but it never meant Leo had to get close to perma-dead. Riordan did it just fine with the Physician's Cure, having Leo achieve apotheosis to do so would also be a way to circumvent the loophole in the prophecy. The phrasing is vague in that 'final breath' could be interpreted in multiple ways, such as 'one's final breath as a mortal.'

Oh the irony. We all thought Leo was going to die, then bam! Boy ends up with a permanent lease on life by literally burning himself alive, a lot more power than he could ever imagine getting, and a lot of freedom he never had as a mortal. He's lucky demigod #3 to ascend to godhood without divine patronage, right after Heracles and Dionysus. When he returns to Camp Half-Blood, it isn't on Festus, but him straight-up materializing in the middle of his funeral. Nearly every Greek and Roman but especially Nico mentally screams WTF as they realize that the funeral hasn't even ended, and Leo's shroud is basically his first offering.

His friends reactions to seeing him - and realizing the truth of what he has become. Jason and Piper are in shock, realizing that their friend is now going to stay young and will eventually watch them die and have to move on. Frank and Hazel are bewildered, because Leo's plan to burn himself alive to defeat Gaea had gone horribly right and now they have to deal with the fact that they had a hand in Leo's apotheosis. Percy and Annabeth are bewildered and shocked at the fact that Leo just straight up became a god - and the now very real reality that one of them may eventually do so (cough cough Percy).

When Leo goes to free Calypso, she literally has to process the fact that the boy she may have liked is now a god - the very beings she despises for imprisoning her in Ogygia. That eventually Leo may most likely move on to someone else and dump her. This crashes especially hard when she gets out of that island and realizes that she's become mortal. The dynamics between them have completely changed and Leo isn't aware of it, and Calypso doesn't know how to process that.

Hera is the one to explain exactly is going on to Leo, because she knows she had a hand in Leo becoming a god. She owes him at the very least to guide Leo in his new reality, and both the positive and negative benefits that are associated with ascension to godhood. Hephaestus doesn't know how to handle Leo now basically being just there forever, because none of his children ever became gods unless they were the children of him and a god. Nemesis marvels at the irony of Leo becoming a god while stealing Gaea's life, noting that this was a rather marvelous way that Leo rained his vengeance upon her. Apollo's just friendly because now he has a new friend to be with him in Olympus.

But this ending - for Heroes of Olympus as a whole - would be more poetic and a parallel to The Last Olympian. Percy was satisfied with who he was, protecting the world to save those he loves and he's happy with that. Leo is one who ascends to the heavens in his feat to avenge those he loves and destroying those who tried to destroy him.

But... there's one thing they have in common.

Leo's first act as a god isn't to rescue Calypso. It isn't to appear before the Seven and let them know he's alive. Leo appears in the Underworld and requests for only a single soul to be allowed a second chance at life. The single soul that he loves the most.

Esperanza Valdez is brought out of the underworld, and Leo freezes. The boy on fire who became a god turns back into a boy of eight years old as he finally gets back the mom he lost so long ago as he hugs her as best as he can. He hadn't expected to be a god. He didn't know what would happen next. But this - this is one of the few times things actually feel right. They've both been given a new lease on life - one longer than the other, but they can finally keep moving forward.

[deathsbestgirl]

OH i wanted to talk about je souhaite because i recently finished the good place (finally!!!) and we had this whole conversation about the good place (where they were miserable having everything they could ever want because it gets old quickly & arguably, because nothing ever changed, they weren't even getting new people) and heaven (often talked about as a beautiful place with endless riches, which sounds empty & like a sin??) and these ideas of it. and i read a story in sum by david eagleman about a heaven everyone goes to because human morality is so complex & not just good vs evil — and then everyone was miserable because they didn't have someone to fight for or look down on.

and je souhaite, mulder tries to make a wish to bring the world peace, and he's unsuccessful. and as he's trying to write a comprehensive wish that won't have any loopholes, scully says "maybe it's the whole point of our lives here, mulder — achieve that. maybe it's a process that one man shouldn't try and circumvent with a single wish."

scully understands that even if the genie is real, there's no magical solution to the world's problems or even our own. scully calls it dangerous. because it will have consequences, which mulder saw were pretty crazy & unwanted lol we, individually and together, have to make these changes. it's painstaking and feels impossible. it's also kind of...exactly what they're fighting. one man & group making decisions for the whole world and writing off people as collateral damage or necessary losses. mulder is trying to do something good, but supposedly, so is the syndicate. (i do NOT mean they are the same. but it's a similar conflict because what right does mulder have to circumvent these things for every person on earth?)

so it's a lesson mulder learns in this episode. he does something to help the one person he can, something she can't do herself and returns jenn's autonomy — and i think it speaks to his brain disease too. in s8, we learn he found a man who could consume disease, taking it away from the person suffering. but then he learns, the man takes on all of those symptoms for himself & suffers. so he decides he can't go through with it. he tries to put him out of his misery (this feels somehow connected to cassandra spender but idk that i can articulate it yet). he didn't wish away his brain disease, the consequences could be worse. both time he chose to help the person suffering. to free them in different ways. literally the core of his character. he doesn't take advantage over someone's choice & personhood/humanity & human connection.

mulder realizes he can't control the fate of humanity, merely his own life and the "small" changes he can make for other people. ending the episode on his couch with scully, beer & a movie, they exchange such simple but profound words:

i don't know if you noticed but, um, i never made the world a happier place.

well, i'm fairly happy. that's something.

after season six and "the world didn't end" and a season of having a relationship, that's a whole lot.

[squircatlies]

Here's a crossover nobody asked for, but has wormed its way into my head and won't leave: Good Omens × The Magnus Archives.

To clarify, not characters taken from one and put in the other's setting, both characters and settings put together in a weird soup.

I know the crossover doesn't make any sense, but the thought of the Them and the NotThem existing in the same universe greatly amuses me.

Further ramblings below the cut.

I've been debating between the Fears being an invention of Hell that has gone out of control and them being completely unrelated, outside beings with a power level closer to God, I feel like the first option diminishes their status a bit, but it is funnier. Maybe there could be a connection between them and the four riders of the apocalypse?

I want there to be a concrete divide between the divine/occult and eldritch, so that it's not just Hell's horror department and Angels and Demons are separate from monsters and avatars. But in universe not a lot of people know about the existence of either (aside from faith of course, which isn't the same as knowledge), so the ones that do encounter them have little to no basis for telling them apart. Also the Fears have a more active presence on Earth, so Angels and Demons often get mistaken for avatars by those in the know about the Fears.

The broad strokes of both narratives stay the same, so the GO apocalypse is prevented, but then TMA eyepocalypse happens and GO's characters are really salty about it. The eyepocalypse doesn't trigger a war between Heaven and Hell because of a legal loophole.

Tadfield is completely immune to the influence of all the fears because of Adam's powers, like Salesa's safehouse during the eyepocalypse or like how Aziraphale and Crowley hid Gabriel from Heaven and Hell with a miracle. Aziraphale's bookshop and the building with elevators to Heaven and Hell are the same in that aspect due to the concentration of divine/occult energy. This also applies during the eyepocalypse.

Aziraphale is Jurgen Leitner's biggest hater. He drunkenly made the Jurgen Leitner rant™ in universe while Crowley was cackling and wheezing on the floor. He's been "in correspondence" with Jonah Magnus 200 years ago and is the reason Jonah got obsessed with immortality in the first place. They first met each other at a discreet gentlemen's book club. Aziraphale deeply regrets ever talking to him. He had to fight off Mike Crew with a broom, when he was still looking for a Leitner to call his own. People in the know about the Fears, but not the existance of Angels and Demons assume Aziraphale to be an avatar of the Eye, possibly another Archivist.

Crowley's assumed to be an avatar too, but noone can agree what fear he serves. For a time Desolation was a popular theory, which he hated. Now they lean more toward the Web, the Stranger or the Spiral. He knew Maxwell Rayner back when he was Edmond Halley, because they were both in the astronomy circles at the time. A lot of the things he takes credit for on his reports to Hell are actually the doing of Fear avatars, it works out, because Hell refuses to acknowledge the Fears as a point of pride and noone bothers to check.

Gertrude thought about blowing up the bookshop, but Aziraphale convinced her otherwise. They had tea.

Jared Hopworth called Aziraphale a slur once and had to promptly change career paths.

Jon and Martin passed through Tadfield at some point during the eyepocalypse and met Adam. It was kind of awkward, but they got to pet Dog.

Agnes Nutter wasn't an avatar, she was just like that. Her prophecies mostly didn't concern the Fears, aside from telling one of her descendants not to go to the hundred and fifth house on a road atop a hill.

Anathema and Newt stay as far away from the Fears as possible, especially after Newt's encounter with Sergey Ushanka (Newt accidentally deleted him).

Everyone thinks Shadwell and Tracy are avatars, of the Hunt and the End respectively. They're not. They're just scammers. Tracy likes that it makes her seem more legitimate. Shadwell doesn't like the Fears, but he doesn't count them as witchcraft (except for the Flesh, because nipples, obviously), so he doesn't really care.

Nina and Maggie on the other hand are avatars. They're pretty good at hiding it though. Not sure which ones, probably the End and the Vast. Nina's ex is an avatar of Corruption.

[millgarrison]

wait wait what does selling your soul even imply

i mean i've seen some movies about that but doing this for real seems farfetched

do i get any benefits or is it entirely a monkey paw type of situation

RADIO-LINE: CONNECTED.

CODE INPUT: 000666 - DAEMON.

RECEIVER: MAL-PHAS. ID: 06-07

-farfecth? Yeah, kid. You have never been beaten up street-scums or a desperate family man who can't provide for his wife, aren't cha? Never been in their shoes, nothing. Movies are just thick syrup covered fat that they been feeding to the populace if you want me to be straightforward. I couldn't give less of a shit. Our kind been doing it since the dawn, that's nothing new, everyone do it. Benefits or not, read your contract, and if you don't want anyone to cheat you out, then make sure your shit doesn't have a loophole so big an entire family of five could live in it.

About your soul, well, they actually didn't teach you in the school with this one. Soul are your extra brain, when all things failed and your meat-suit gave up. Selling your souls is like, securing either a beautiful beach resort or backside alleyway in Delaware. They don't teach that in school cause it depend what pandemonium you live and what local solomonian, sins, ect, influence people there. They're handling out freebies between each other, and 99% you're going to Hell. Not the worst place to go if you know which one you gonna sign off to. Burning Eternity shit, that's for old style sinners. But I would be lying if I say all domains in Hell are perfect home to live in. I would know. But Heaven isn't nice either.

-And.. condsidering your address, Garrison is taking your shits eh? Tough luck, kid. Not that you can escape him easily, and he's petty enough to not wanting to let go. If you want to dig more dirt, call the numbers on receipt. Tell Garrison about this, you'll be dead-meat. Remember, I'm in charge of his phoneline, not him.

-pick your poisons. If you want me instead, call me. You know my number.

[RECEIPT PRINT: 2]

-Robert "Bob" Martins, a business number attached to the paper, from a widely popular TV late-night show air around 17:00 pm to 3:00 am. Extra note attached: "tell him Father Allred send you or else he wouldn't say anything, pussy."

-Johnny Wardman, personal number attached on the paper. Extra note attached: "deputy of police department, careful talking to a pig."

-have fun, kid. Be fast, though, one of them is going to die soon.

[CONNECTION END.]

[a-small-tired-lonely-potato]

So I have two things to say.

The first being this. What do we think is Alastor's plan for Charlie?

I mean we all know he's using her, obviously, like legit only a person Devoted To Trusting People could not see how downright devious this man is, so I guess my question more in How is he going to use her.

Like, does he think that he could maybe use her as a bargaining chip against Lilith? Assuming she is in fact the one he made a deal with? I personally don't think so, since he seems less focused on Tricking or Trapping Charlie than he does on helping her grow.

Which might seem caring, but I think he believes that she is, or could be, strong enough to break the deal he made with her power.

Or maybe there's a loophole in the contract that he can only exploit if he has Charlie? I'm not sure, honestly I got theories whizzing by on a daily bases fr. But I wanted to throw this out there for people more devoted then I am.

And for my second thing~

I was thinking about Alastor's irritation with Lucifer, and why he hates him so much, because if anything, he should probably love the guy, or at least appreciate him. I mean after all, if he wasn't such a goof of a dad, unintentionally fucking up jis relationship with his daughter, Alastor would never have had the chance to manipulate Charlie in the first place.

And even if he felt nothing for the guy, Alastor being so hostile doesn't really work out cor him in the long run. I mean he's so blatantly hostile from the very get go. Wiping his hand after he shakes Lucifer's, sniping at him repeatedly, outright saying "Fuck You"? All of this works against him, because if he was just cool while Lucifer did his whole jealous dad routine, Alastor would end up looking even better in Charlie's eyes because hey! Her dads here, being a dick for no reason to her friend and Alastor is just taking it all with no complaints, the poor guy. Except he is Not cool. He is the opposite of cool and it ends up in an All Out Dad Fiiight! *bwaaaa! Air horns*

I'm just sitting here wondering why he's so hostile when everything we know tells us he'd be better playing it cool?

and I came up with two theories.

1: He hates Lucifer because Lilith loves her family, and he's had to not only put up with all the bullshit Lilith put him through in his afterlife, but also listen to this gargantuan bitch gush about her husband and daughter for the past several decades.

He's got so much pent up rage that he can't afford to level at Charlie so when Lucifer shows up with his dumb hat and his poor excuse for a cane and his judgemental additude about Charlie and Alastor's hotel, The radio demon finally has an outlet for his rage that, by God, he is going to use as much as possible.

Or, and this is my personal favorite: Lilith fucking haaaates her husband. Don't know when it started, don't know why, but she despises him. Right down to the core. She hates him, but it's not just a simple hate, no no, this is the hate of a Bitter Ex Wife.

And you know what that means folks? It means that not only does she peace out on her marriage and her daughter with no contact whatsoever, and not only does she flee all the way to fucking Heaven to avoid him, but she also forces all her various minions and thralls to contractually hate her Ex Husband.

Alastor doesn't have personal beef with Lucifer, but he legally Has to Hate him, he has no control over it. With everyone else he can be cool as a cucumber but the moment he sees the big boss of hell himself, he activates like a Damned sleeper agent to ruin that guys day.

It's hilarious and ridiculous and it's all I ever wanted.

Okay, that was all, have a good day!

[likeadog]

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS

welcome to sistervirtue dot tumblr dot com. those of you who have read my url...seen my icon...may be wondering: who is this woman? who is Sister Virtue?

as the @original-character-championship bracket begins, I would like to take the time to introduce you to her. go on. take a seat.

[art credit: @/omusubigender, @/citrus-sours, @/kkbardd, @/pcktknife, @/celebiis, @/citrus-sours]

Sister Virtue is a not-quite woman not-quite of the cloth with a bit of a scowl and an unholy attitude problem. Formerly a cherub known as Theophania serving in the appellate choirs of heaven, she judged human souls and debated the dogma of heaven day in and day out.

Although a perfect machine of heaven, Theophania was not heartless. Through her friendship with the Archangel Gabriel, whom represents human souls and their interests in the courts of heaven, she learned about those she judged.

And I am going to let you in on a secret. Angels and demons are both creatures of passion, just their passion turns in different ways. Demons experience passion for the self. Angels turn their passion towards God. And for Theophania, her passion turned in a different way-- towards those silly little animals whom she watched day in and day out. (Even you!)

So when Gabriel came lamenting of the Seraphim's decision to bring forth the end of humanity, she may have done something a bit drastic. Drastic like stealing the Eye of God, an important artifact containing the summation of all knowledge, and then slamming it into her own skull in order to hold it hostage and kick up enough of a fuss that the angels acquiesced and agreed to come to some sort of truce. The ultimate blasphemy.

She would be felled. If she cared so much about those silly, stupid animals, she could spend the rest of eternity proving they were worth it. Shoved into a body made of flesh and her powers largely sealed behind seven penances, Sister Virtue is tasked with protecting humanity from all threats divine or diabolic. She cannot die; [officially banned to prevent any loopholes or complicated litigation later] but she can give up... but doing so would mean damning all of humanity in the entire process.

After crash-landing into a convent and taking the administrative lead of the attached school (now known as Eschaton Academy) Sister Virtue is establishing a network of those both blessed and possessed to aid her in the arduous process of keeping people safe, all while trying to figure out what it means to be human herself.

So Why should you vote for her?

Let's face it, we're not in high school any more.

Coming of age stories for teens are fun, but sometimes... you don't really start coming of age until your 20's, 30's, 40's... Virtue, 37 human years old, is here to show the journey of growing into your skin even if that comes after high school.

2. She's hot as hell.

A nun in her work uniform, Sister Virtue at heart is a truckin', smokin', wrestlin' uncle of a woman, and her casual attitude and casual attire reflect this. And let's face it. A woman who hates wearing shirts and has a happy trail is a god-sent gift for all of us.

[art credit @ koiiluvz]

3. She's just a bit weird.

She named her car (a self-"upgraded" hearse) the Popemobile. She smokes cigarettes because she likes the taste. She doesn't mind nudity, but gets shy eating in public because digestion is just a little too intimate for an angel. She loves paperwork. Sometimes she regurgitates the angel equivalent of a hairball.

4. Don't know about all this original universe lore? She's got a D&D Iteration.

You can find her character sheet here-- She;s a tanky fallen aasimar paladin with 3 different ways to intimidate. Because you don't even need a gun with an attitude like hers.

5. She'd vote for you

At the end of the day, Sister Virtue is someone who runs on love. Love for all of humanity. Including you. Even if you don't believe in Virtue, virtue believes in you, and you should believe in you too.

Questions? Concerns? Comments? Check out my eschaton academy tag. Or pop into my inbox or dms.

(she even has emotes. art credit @/pcktknife, @/citrus-sours, and @/GR4FF1T1 [on toyhouse] )