#and how are they supposed to be comfortable around each other given the hideous trauma they respectively went thru

[llycaons]

love looking at a relationship and going hmm kind of fucked up. best if they never met again for many reasons that they have little control over. and then ppl decide to make them a couple 😔 you can't 'it's true love' yourselves out of everything!!!!

[tomorrowsdrama]

Hyena Ep. 16

I’m baaack!  Kind of.  I think I hit that point in my quarantine life where I kind of lost my mind so I went on an unexpected hiatus that lasted longer than intended.  I know it’s been over a month after the finale of Hyena but here are my ramblings.  This post is super long so I’ll save my thoughts on the series as a whole for another post.

Objectively, it was a pretty good finale that was entertaining and wrapped up the important plot lines.  We even got some sweet otp moments (more on that later) and satisfying smackdown of the bad guy.  But subjectively?  Personally?  Purely based on my selfish expectations?  I wanted more romance!  More sexiness!  I wasn’t expecting a wedding or anything like that but, not even one kiss?  Or a long embrace?  Why????

I mean, how can you give me all this sexy chemistry in the promos:

And then not make use of it in the finale?  That’s just not fair I say!  I feel bamboozled!

Ep. 16

Anyway, let’s talk about the parts I enjoyed of the finale.  This is mainly (99%) going to be about the moments between Geum Ja and Hee Jae.  So on the morning of episode 16, way back when, I woke up so excited for the finale.  Since this was the last episode, surely there will be a kiss!  And surely it would be epic given the chemistry between JJH and KHS.  I mean did you see that kiss in episode 8?  So when we started off the episode with the scene of Hee Jae telling Geum Ja he didn’t want to see her hurt anymore, I was amped.  Yes, we’re starting off strong with the romantic scenes I thought.

How can you not fall for him?

Geum Ja, you are not a gangster, you do not need to show your story through the scars on your body.  Joking aside, it’s sad that she’s been through so much in life that she has the scars to prove it. 

I love that Hee Jae says this half-sarcastically but you can tell that he truly does not want Geum Ja to go through any more pain/suffering.  And it’s his sincerity that makes Geum Ja smile so softly.  And this is where they kiss right?

Nope, he gets a hearty bro punch in the shoulder.

Cut for lots of caps and ramblings.  It’s a bit of a mini novel, you’ve been warned!

Mmm I loved how many scenes of concerned Hee Jae we got in this episode.  

Geum Ja screams from a nightmare and Hee Jae immediately runs into the office to check on her.  The only way he could have reacted so quickly is if he was sitting outside the office guarding Geum Ja which...AHHH I think I’ve just died and gone to hurt/comfort heaven.  Just look at JJH’s face.

EEE!  I audibly squealed when Geum Ja said this.  Ok, now I’ve truly died.  Geum Ja?  Asking to be comforted?  By Hee Jae?  What?  This is major.  She’s finally letting down her walls a little bit around Hee Jae and allowing herself to be vulnerable.  Keep on leaning I say!  Lean all the way into bed.

Omg and then she showed concern over Hee Jae’s own emotional state despite her own trauma.  His dad totally betrayed him just a few hours ago so Hee Jae’s having a pretty shitty day too.  But of course, Hee Jae is only concerned about Geum Ja.  Ahh, how many times is he going to make me swoon in this episode?  

Feet piled on top of each other?!  Are they finally in bed together?

Of course not.  Unfortunately, this isn’t that type of drama.  SIGH.  But this is still very sweet and squeal-inducing.

Have I talked about how much I love JJH’s little sly smirks?

I love that these two fools can’t stop worrying about the other.  Geum Ja knows better than anyone how deep emotional scars caused by a parent can be.  On top of that, Hee Jae’s father was someone he respected and loved, so the blow is even bigger.  I just really like it when my otp show how much they care about each other, ok?

Look at that smile on Hee Jae’s face.  It’s like there’s no other place he would rather be than next to Geum Ja. 

No, please don’t.  Y’all are not 12.  Please get at least a queen size bed with plenty of room for two adults to move around in and do...adult things lol.

And then.  AND THEN!  Geum Ja takes the initiative and turns over towards Hee Jae.  She’s finally the one taking the first step towards him without any prodding.  And Hee Jae smiles to himself and follows her lead to turn over also.  And then the two fools smile lovingly at each other as they fall asleep.  Omg, excuse me, I need a moment.  I’ve temporarily passed on to the other side from sheer otp happiness.

This moment was just too good.  I literally raised both my arms up into the air and cheered when I first watched this episode.  I thought, wow the writers are feeding us so well.  They’re showering us with so many romantic scenes.  The otp caring for each other?  Being tender with each other?  Sharing a “bed?”  I don’t want to ever get off this love train, keep it coming!  This is only the first third of the episode so surely it can only go up from here.

And then it ended on a comedic note.  I guess I should have seen that coming.  This is SBS, not TVN (or JTBC from the looks of The World of the Married).  Hah, well I suppose they both had a pretty tiring day so it’s understandable that they would not have much energy to do anything else.

It’s the little everyday things like asking if she’s ok that get me.

(JJH I thirst for you.)

Suuuuure you are.

Lol, he wouldn’t be Hee Jae if he didn’t pull something childish/petty.  At least Geum Ja is amused by it and finds it cute now.  Get you a man who can be both your emotional support and amusing bratty boyfriend.

Geum Ja does end up meeting Hee Jae for dinner and he can’t help but smile a little.  Gosh, it takes so little from Geum Ja to make him happy.

(damn, look at that profile!)

So some time during this episode, Geum Ja’s adoptive father died off-screen from the stab wound he sustained while stopping her assailant.  At first, I went “Huh, that’s it?”  But then the more I thought about it, the more I liked how matter-of-factly it was treated.  It’s certainly consistent with how Geum Ja deals with things.  Also, she faced her demons/him in a previous episode so you could say that she already resolved that chapter of her life.  

Still, you could tell that she’s not completely unaffected by it.  KHS’s acting in this scene is so good. You can tell there’s more to it than what she’s saying just by the little subtle changes in her expression.  I can only imagine the many complicated feelings she must be experiencing.  

On the one hand, he’s the worst part of her past life and surely deserved to die.  But on the other hand, unintentional or not, he died saving her.  Geum Ja does not state this with any affection or sentimentality in her voice.  It is merely something that happened.  Thank goodness the writers did not try to redeem him in the last minute.  One good deed does not make up for all the violence and abuse inflicted on her and her mother.  

Anyway, all that muddled history and emotions would make anybody conflicted.  They really handled it the best way they could - simply state what happened and move on.  No hate, no praise, no sadness.  He was a terrible man who paid the ultimate price and died.  I like that Hee Jae understands not to push the matter any further and changes the subject.

Bro, you’re delusional if you think you still have a chance with her.  

And then we get to the ubiquitous Big Shareholder Meeting that we see so often in dramas.  I love how Geum Ja is so ballsy in everything she does and she does it all in her comfy tracksuits. Of course the Big Shareholder Meeting does not go as planned and Song Pil Jung gets arrested.

God I love the look on Geum Ja’s face.  It screams “is this guy still talking to me?”

Can I just say, I love how utterly brutal Geum Ja is in her rejection of Kevin Jung.  Woof, ouch.  If I ever heard that from someone I liked, I would be so devastated and embarrassed, I’d find a dark hole to bury myself in and lick my wounds.  But of course, Kevin, like all the other men who fall for Geum Ja, seems to be into it.  It takes a certain type of man to go for Geum Ja and apparently that type is a total masochist who likes getting rejected and their heart ripped out.  I mean, to each their own.

I like whenever they do their power couple strut.

A bro fist bump?  Really?  Hm, I never really fist bumped the guys I dated but that’s cool I guess.  They’re going in to destroy Song Pil Jung so I guess a fist bump is appropriate.

Hm, I don’t know.  It seems like you’re the one who got arrested.

Bro.  Mister.  Are you for real?  Did you forget all the shitty things you did to her?

Yeah, that’s kind of a big deal I think.

SO. SATISFYING.  Whew honey, this exchange gave me life.  My skin has cleared, my bank account is full, and I’ve lost 5 pounds.

Yessss I am all for this nerdy JJH in glasses and turtleneck sipping on expensive instant coffee aesthetic. 

The couple that taunts together, stays together?

Hahahahaha, Hee Jae talking about being professional at work? Hahahahha.

I live for jealous Hee Jae because he’s extra ridiculous whenever he’s jealous.  In this scene he’s getting jealous over Ju-Ho calling Geuma Ja “noona” and it’s like come on, they’re foster siblings.  Let him call her noona.  Side note, Netflix translates “noona” into Eun-Young, Geum Ja’s real name, and it irks me.  Couldn’t they have just translated it into “sis” instead?

Now we’re around the 55 minute mark and I’m thinking, okay this is probably where it’s going to end.  This is when it’s going to happen.  They don’t have that much time left in the episode.  All right, give me us all that we’ve been waiting for.

(Good looking main stays looking good.)

You can’t ever accuse Hee Jae of not being committed to Geum Ja.

We finally get an explanation for why Geum Ja always stared at that huge building

Haha, can you expect anything less from her character?  At this point, I’m looking at the remaining time and thinking, ok then, when’s that kiss gonna happen?

SHRIEKS WHAT ARE THOSE HIDEOUS THINGS ON HIS FEET?!  On another note, I’m sure Kim Hye Soo must be so glad she doesn’t have to wear those gigantic heels anymore.

Omg, ok, this is it.  We’re getting shots of beautiful sexy people strutting and being playful with each other.  They’re setting up for a romantic ending kiss.  Ok, time to prepare myself.

Yes, put your arms around each other.  We’re getting closer now.

Oh, ok.  I guess this will be a far away in the distance kind of kiss.  That’s ok, too I guess.

Oh, wait.  Never mind.  Looks like we’re going to get a frontal view of the ending kiss after all.  Even better!

What?  That’s it?  What?  Did I miss something?  This can’t be.

Oh whew.  An epilogue.  Ok, this is when it’s going to happen.

Hahaha, they’re totally using the vloggers to advertise for their law firm.  I love how Hee Jae has loosened up on what he thinks a proper lawyer should act like and it’s reflected in his more flamboyant wardrobe choices.

These damn fist bumps again.  All the time spent fist bumping could have been spent hugging and kissing.  Priorities, people!

Hah, like hell Hee Jae would ever leave Geum Ja.

Haha knew it.  Boy is more whipped than whipped cream.

This pretty much sums up their dynamic.  SIGH I’m not going to get my kiss am I.

Oh no.  That caption can only mean one thing.

Yeeep.  That’s it.  This is the end.  Finito.  

Well.  All right then.  You know, the first time I watched this episode, I felt very disappointed that there was no final kiss.  I mean the last time we saw them kissing was in episode 8 at the midpoint of the drama.  This drama was clearly a rom com/screwball comedy so it only seemed fitting that there would be one last kiss scene.  That’s how you end a romantic drama!  But alas.

Actually, upon re-watching and re-capping this episode, I realized that even though we did not get any kiss scene, the writers still gave us plenty of sweet moments between Hee Jae and Geum Ja.  We got to see their lovely progression into becoming partners who supported and trusted each other so that was nice.  Even though they’re clearly together now, it’s nice to see that they still have their playful bickering dynamic.  So objectively, it was a nice ending.  I just personally wanted more smooches.

If you made it through this entire post, thank you for expending so much time reading my ramblings and congratultaions on having so much patience!

[aeondeug]

So @thedrunkenminstrel​ did this so I might as well too. Let’s get an Aon’s Top Ten Ships list running! I will say right now that this list is honestly a very shaky thing. A lot of is something that is subject to heavy shifting around, and some of the things that are on it currently probably wouldn’t be if you asked me another day. The top three I can more genuinely state are like Actual Factual Top Three Material and wouldn’t shift much at all. But the rest are up to heavy degrees of change.

10. Naruto/Hinata from Naruto We’ve got to start this list off right and to do that let’s put one of my weirdly enduring baby ships in the ten spot. This was honestly kind of tied with three other ships that I’ll mention later as honorable mentions, but Naruhina gets to win out its spot for its bizarre personal significance to me. Namely the ship is weirdly instrumental in my realizing I was trans, by way of an AU I worked on where Hinata was a transman. And the entire thing was very heavily focused on that woe and also romance with Naruto who tried to teach Hinata the ropes of being a dude. Which sounds like a beautifully terrible trainwreck now, honestly, given that it’d probably involve him showing Hinata the local pornshop and being like YES. THE HEIGHT OF MANHOOD. titty mags. Stepping away from that weird personal significance that no one else save me holds for it though...Naruhina is one of those early ships I clung to really, really hard because I heavily related to one half of the ship and saw, in the other person, traits I found admirable. Like, yes, Naruto’s an irritating jackass who fails all his classes but he’s loud and out there and keeps trying even though he basically always fails up until the point when the plot deems him Ninja Jesus. All traits a nervous kid desperately wished he had and ones that I found endearing or attractive. Even if so much of the rest of him is so grating. Also this sets up the major theme of this list, namely that if you’re earning my undying shipper love chances are I relate to one half and have a crush on the other half. 9. Saria/Malon from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time This is really low on the list, but it’s here for one very important reason. And that reason is is that it is the crackship that will not die. Years have past since a little kid went ‘but what if the cute farm girl and the fairy girl were a couple!’ and the ship’s stuck. It’s also evolved over the years. Evolved into something that by its very nature is doomed to tragedy. Because really if you think about it there’s no real way it could be anything but. Saria dies in the end and is also a weird eternal child type deal. Malon’s going to grow up and move on from her first dumb little kid crush. It’s not really a ship I like am actively, emotionally obsessed with but it is one that I repeatedly go back to and just toy with the idea of every so often. Like it’s just an idea I find compelling to toy with. Early childhood love that by its very nature must die between a human and what amounts to a fairy. 8. Satoko/Rika from Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Alright now we’re back to something I am like deeply and emotionally invested in. As someone with an abusive family seeing Satoko’s story in Higurashi was a harrowing experience as a kid. Especially as a kid who has outright lied to CPS before to avoid further abuse. It was also a comforting one in a fashion. Since even before saving Satoko, Rika and her friends are always there to at least try and save her. Satoko’s a horrible brat and a horrible brat that I relate to. Rika’s...weird meanwhile. She’s someone who’s technically a child but due to magical fuckery is actually mentally matured past that. She’s also been pretty scarred by the trauma of what she’s gone through and it’s left her not entirely ‘human’. So much so she needs to eventually go through an arc just to realize that, no, it’s time to give up being a witch and to just...try and find what’s normal. Even though everything about that sounds wrong or even impossible. And that in itself is also relatable. But even then she’s still Satoko’s best friend and Satoko is her best friend. They stick by each other and I’d imagine they would later on in life. But even later on in life there’d still likely be mental disconnect there for a good chunk of time. And one also has to keep in mind that while Rika’s mentally lived for at least one hundred years she’s still not an adult. She’s just a child that was forced to grow up too fast and that’s eventually going to bite her I think, when she realizes that in itself isn’t adulthood. That’s an interesting thing to think of an toy with, I think. 7. Porrim/Aranea from Homestuck An entirely unsurprising pick from me if you know anything about me from my Homestuck days. Which are like my normal days, honestly, but the fervor’s kind of died down. Give it a bit though and we’ll get right back to Hamsteaking. Porrim is just...a very one-note little joke. In all honesty. But she’s one that provides like a vast sea of unexplored potential. Porrim is, like so much of Homestuck, a perfect Barbie doll to play makebelieve with. She is also a vampire. This nets her like 50,000 bonus points immediately. Then there’s Aranea. Aranea is a bad person. Let’s make no bones about that. She is a bad person. But she’s cute in a way, when she’s not being awful. She’s also someone that reminds me somewhat of the person my current boyfriend used to be, while also having troubles that I myself find relatable. And the most important part of the ship is that they canonically broke up. Which sounds like a weird ass reason to ship a thing I suppose, but the breaking up is what makes the ship interesting to me. It’s basically a tragedy in action. It can’t work out in the main timelines, though it might in alternates. And I like exploring what led up to it not working out. 6. Chise/Elias from The Ancient Magus Bride This is sadly not in the top ten yet as I don’t quite feel comfortable putting it there when I’m not caught up. But given where I currently am in the manga I have to say that this is one of the most disgustingly me romances I’ve seen in a bit. We’ve got a spooky monster man, an awkward abused girl...He calls her puppy and gives her head pats and they nuzzle each other like dogs. He kind of wants to eat her and he’s kind of a creepy weirdo to her at times, but she’s also not seeming like someone that is just going to bow down and eternally accept that and... And they’re both learning how to people. They both are. Neither of them really knows how to do this whole human thing that well. They’re both emotionally fucked and dysfunctional in their own ways. And they’re learning from each other. In such a fashion that I legitimately cried while reading my comics. Which is a bit hard to manage. Given proper time and catching up they may well travel up this list. 5. Malus/Carrie from Castlevania 64/Legacy of Darkness Alright. Back to childhood ships. Also more monsters. Also these were kind of awful ass games and neither Carrie nor Malus really have much personality at all. Carrie’s personality is mostly relegated to material in the manual, which paints her as an incredibly angry and distrusting child that hates adults and also God for failing her repeatedly. But that’s all just stuff in like a summary. And Malus’ personality is NYEHEHEHE I WAS EVIL THIS WHOLE TIME. So what, pray tell, is the appeal of this besides my obvious vampire fetish. The answer is that like...the bad end of the game has Carrie promising to marry Malus. Malus asking her to marry him presumably so he can like make use of the Belnades bloodline’s magic. Also Malus is Dracula. Dracula and human women do not have a good track record. Both in terms of him being able to resist the rare strong willed woman willing to put him in his place and in terms of keeping those women not murdered for witchcraft. Malus and Carrie is a ship of potential. Potential that plays into one of the central themes of Castlevania’s storyline which is that Drac really just wishes people would stop killing his girlfriends. I may or may not have also had an OC who was their kid who is also kind of basically another character on this list. 4. Glinda/Elphaba from Wicked Listen to What is this Feeling. Now listen to it again. Listen to Popular. Now listen to it again. NOW LISTEN TO DEFYING GRAVITY. NOW LISTEN TO IT AGAIN. We’ve got a green woman who is kind of hideous and who thinks she’s ugly! She’s also angry at the world and wants to change shit! She’s also tragically fucked! In the book at least. How is that not a me character? And Glinda. Gods. Glinda. She’s not stupid. She seems it in the book a lot of the time and Elphaba assumes she is right away but...Glinda’s not stupid. She’s actually very smart and putting on a front. Also she basically annoys Elphaba’s tsundere ass into being her bff. And if there is anything I love in my ships it is one half having to be annoyed into friendship by another happier character who is weirdly trusting and accepting of this horrible monster. Why? Who cares! But they are! Now listen to What is this Feeling. Please. 3. Zero/Fiethsing from Force of Will And now we are finally in the top three. We have also reached the part of the list where we have a character with alarming similarities to my weird kidfic OC from Castlevania. So Zero. She’s cranky and serious. Kind of nervous. Really nervous honestly. She’s also pretty cynical and at her worst points actively gives up on trying to save the world and attempts to destroy it or is like on the brink of giving up again. She’s also got abandonment issues, self hate problems, and uncompromising sense of justice that can be reasonably connected to the self hate problems and shit’s just not a good time for Zero. Also she’s a vampire. And then there’s Fieth. Her Most Important Partner. Lovely, stupid, irritating Fieth. Fieth who adores freedom above all else and who is seemingly full of endless optimism and hope and who is a cocky bitch and who lies and sleeps and is basically a cat become an elf. More importantly though there’s what they are. We don’t get to see Zero and Fieth becoming friends. We meet them when they’re friends already and have years of established history with one another. And shortly after we meet them they adopt a child. Or, rather, Fieth declares she’s going to raise the baby into her apprentice and Zero declares that she refuses to let Fieth raise a baby on her own. And then...they become a family. Just. A family. A pretty happy one at that. It’s eventually torn asunder by death and war but before that they’re just two mothers and their daughter. They are in a sort of quantum gay state like poor Nanofate despite their whole deal, but to me they do unquestionably read as a couple. One with problems. A laundry list of them. But a couple with a kid and, in a weird sort of way, a future. 2. Jame/Tori from The Chronicles of the Kencyrath I adore this ship. It is hard to quantify how much I adore it. But it’s quite a lot. It’s dysfunctional. It’s got issues. It’s incest and that shockingly isn’t one of the issues. And that’s why I love it. Because Hodgell has managed to take fantasy characters and mythic archetypes and humanize them with some of the most starkly real depictions of mental illness I’ve ever seen. Hands down. Tori’s a nervous wreck. He’s an asshole with problems from trauma and Jame doesn’t just take his shit. She actually does the exact opposite and tells him to fuck off. That’s important. Tori not just getting the girl despite being a human disaster is very important. The fact that his very behavior is why the girl does not want to get with him even though she really, truly wants to deep down is very, very important. Jame/Tori is the awkward and rough tale of two people having to recover from frankly atrocious abuse. Two people who are deeply drawn to one another but who also fear and kind of hate the other. Two people who can barely stand being in the same room as one another currently. It’s a bumpy road. It’s a road we’re not even sure they can make it down. But that’s why it means things to me as someone whose undiagnosed BPD almost destroyed his relationship. 1. Sakuya/Remilia from Touhou This just barely beat out Jame/Tori and the sole reason it beats out Jame/Tori is I have shipped this fucking shit for literally almost half my life. And I’m still not through with it or tired of it. It’s been years and years and it is still one of my most favoritest ships ever. So I feel pretty confident saying it is my One True Pairing. It’s also got a vampire. Wow. It’s got a human partner who is bad at humaning too! Double wow! And what it’s got in particular is exceptional flexibility. Like all the Touhous Remilia and Sakuya are kind of just left up to the mercy of the fandom. There’s canonical traits they have and we have seen them interact together and with others, but in a far more limited degree than what is seen in a lot of other works. And the fandom is what basically runs Touhou. It is a self perpetuating machine and Sakuremi is still chugging along years later and with a bunch of variety in it, even if it’s got some tropes I am really tired of seeing at this point. But why is this the Touhou ship to end all Touhou ships? Besides the obvious answer of ‘Duh, it’s a vampire and her maid. What the fuck else do you NEED?’ we have the ever important identification and wish fulfillment aspects. Which breaks into my own personal conception of the characters and their relationship with one another. So Remilia’s like...a kid. Forever. She was turned very young so even after five hundred years she still looks like she’s ten at best. She’s also kind of a brat and at times fairly naive in the way a kid might be. But we do see that she puts on airs. She’s TRYING to be this intimidating, sophisticated vampire lady and she takes pride in the fact that people ‘respect’ her. But that respect is more fear of the fact that she’s a vampire and vampires are stupidly powerful in her world. And as someone who had an extended childhood forced on him by his family and who is trying to learn what it is to be an adult and never being treated like an adult or not being able to handle it when he is...That’s just. Something very ripe for playing with. Especially when you mix it with Sakuya. Who’s an outcast among her own kind and who gave up on bothering with them for it. She’s someone who might have been a vampire hunter than failed to kill Remilia. She takes care of her and chides her like a child, but she also is most definitely subservient to her. And she’s said that she’ll always be together with her as long as she lives. Always. Sakuya’s like this weird mix of a sweet, caring goofball of a woman and a hate filled, mopey edgelord that really only could get along with monsters. So like, I like to think, that they’ve basically ended up finding what exactly the other needs. Remilia gets someone who sincerely respects her authority and takes her seriously, but who also will not entirely put up with her bullshit. Sakuya gets someone who...cares. At all. Someone to give her a name and talk to her and not chase her away for being monstrous. And perhaps more than any of these ships freedom to fuck around is there. It’s what I want to make it. Honorable Mentions We have three of these. Nanoha/Fate from the Nanoha franchise, Usagi/Ami from Sailor Moon and Shimako/Sei from Maria-sama ga Miteru. They were all just barely beaten out by Naruhina, hence their inclusion here.

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

Sherlock “The Final Problem” Observations

1.

Jim Moriarty has to be the smoothest motherfucker in the fictional world. He just does it so well! It takes a certain amount of class to be like that, and yet Andrew really pulls it off. I’ve admittedly missed him.

He was fun.

Jim could somehow get it on with a peach and it would seem perfectly normal and even expected thanks to Andrew’s impeccable acting.

2.

Mycroft is sitting alone in the dark, watching an old film and giggling like a damn dork as he mouths the words like he’s some fucking genius. So damn proud of himself.

And then that tiny smile when he sees the old video of his family from years back. As if he’s shocked to see it and shocked to be moved by it.

And then ‘I’m Back’ has to fuck it up. Just when the Ice Man was getting the #FEELS someone has to ruin it! I was so ready to squeal!

Though the joke itself was kind of funny it thankfully got rid of that shitty ass, poor-foreplay-filled film he was watching. Good Christ that was painful.

And then Mycroft literally goes and proves me RIGHT! For years I have lived with the belief that there was a weapon of some sort in that umbrella and I feel so very fucking brilliant! Why else would he carry it around ALL the time?

Mycroft lives in this big ass house that is literally decorated out the ass with unnecessary shit. That’s gotta be effin lonely, good Lord. The open space, the vacancy. It’s kind of sad to see how lonely the British Government is without him even realizing it.

John and Sherlock are dicks. All is right in their world.

For now.

3.

Bill ‘The Wig’ Wiggins gets another mention!

Though seriously, wtf is with the fandom in forgetting who he is? Like, how many posts labeled him as some ‘nameless junkie’ in “The Lying Detective”?

He may be a drug addict, but he’s a brilliant Chemist that even Sherlock takes seriously. Give the guy a break. Doing drugs or alcohol doesn’t make you any less of a person. They just make you a person who might need some help and self control.

4.

Mycroft: This is a private matter.

John: *moves to get up*

Sherlock: John stays.

Mycroft: This is family.

Sherlock: THAT’S WHY HE STAYS!

John: *tiny half smile at his notepad*

This part was really touching because it’s Sherlock showing an insistence that John is important to him and that of all the people he wants with him while he’s learning such intense things about himself, he wants John to be there.

No offense, but choosing your friend over your blood relations is a very important action.

Sherlock’s icy indifference had been chipped away by John a little at a time, until he feels comfortable enough to admit in front of his brother, who thinks that ‘caring is not an advantage’, that he thinks of his best friend as family first and foremost.

That sociopathic exterior just slowly gets further and further away.

5.

Mycroft is 7 years older than Sherlock. Sherlock is one year older than Eurus. Sherls was the middle child. It literally explains so much. Being the middle child sucks.

6.

Mrs Hudson rocking away to heavy metal while hoovering is probably the coolest thing. The Aston Martin was awesome, but her musical taste is wow. I love her and I want her as an honorary Nana.

7.

John: Oscar Wilde.

Mycroft: What?

John: He said, ‘the truth is rarely pure and never simple’. *breaths deeply* It’s... The Importance of Being Earnest. We did it in school.

Mycroft: So did we, now I recall. I was Lady Bracknell.

Sherlock: Yeah. You were great.

Mycroft: You really think so?

Sherlock: Yes, I really do.

Mycroft: That’s good to know. I’ve always wondered.

Sherlock: *looks down* *whispers* Good luck, boys.

God, the suspense killed me. And I swear that little brotherly exchange was sad.

8.

Eurus knew Bach from a second of sound. That’s awesome. I play games like that to test my musical knowledge and am nowhere near as good. She’s like a bloody computer.

9.

The whole glass bit was pretty interesting. It’s an optical illusion catered to one specific direction. If he were to come at her from a different angle, he would have noticed the odd cut in the signs.

You see what you expect to see. Why would a major facility not have a dangerous person behind a glass wall?

He wasn’t observing.

10.

John being the one to notice whose voice was on the recording is great. Mycroft, Mr. Genius couldn’t even tell.

I like it when John is given a chance to prove that he too can pay attention. That he can observe like Mycroft and Sherlock. Of course it lands them in deep shit, but it’s still nice all the same.

John isn’t some rug to be walked on and he’s not just a sidekick.

11.

Jim is ‘relatable’. And to be frank he really is which is so not fair!

“The Hungry Donkey” is a fanfic I would love to read. Sorry, but Jim had a point. Putting a baby in a manger is literally asking for trouble.

12.

Sherlock asking John how he is when he wakes up is really sweet. Like, he’s considerate of John’s health so much and my feels...

Also, he teases John a lot. Teasing!

13.

Sherlock was moving on to calm the little girl down. He was trying to reassure her with praise for following instructions.

Watching his growth as a character is honestly so special and I love the obvious changes from season one.

14.

Mycroft being terrified to kill someone is probably the most humane thing I’ve seen from him. Like, he honestly lost his cool then and was unable to differentiate between the situations. And I think it shows more depth to his character and how he views the ‘world of goldfish’ truly.

If Mycroft was as detached and emotionless as he wants everyone to believe, then he wouldn’t show such feelings, especially in front of others.

Hiding his face in his hand and leaning against the wall so he doesn’t have to watch. Despite the power he controls and the danger he has probably had to become familiar with, he couldn’t handle it.

The erratic breathing and mild panic attack setting in.

Retching against the wall.

Mycroft has gone through a little character growth of his own. And while traumatic for him, I think it was necessary.

15.

“Today we are soldiers, Mycroft. Soldiers. And that means to hell with what happens to us!”-John Watson

In all honesty, the military is not a place for fun and games. While they glam it up with words like ‘serving your country’ or ‘helping the cause’, you are basically putting yourself in danger on a constant basis. You are working for a cause that you might not even know everything about, but you are going to give it your all because in the military, the good of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

Because you might one day have to throw yourself in the line of fire or throw yourself on a bomb to save your comrades. Military is not about you. You agree to shed who you are to make yourself a tool to be used for the ‘safety’ of your cause.

That is what it means to be a soldier. John is a soldier, and he realizes what is happening. And he knows that now is not the time for games and competitions. It’s about the good of the many being more important than the need of the few,

And it’s a lesson that Mycroft needs.

John has had at least one chance in each season to put Mycroft in his place and I like that this time wasn’t for the sake of a joke and one-upping him.

Mycroft needs to understand that not everything is a contest and being the ‘best’ isn’t always the best thing.

16.

The name of the person who was supposed to get the coffin, was on the lid. Mycroft has some sass in him somewhere. 

17.

Molly’s kitchens is a chef’s wet dream. I swear to God, I want everything in it. Everything I can and cannot see. Who would have thought that such a secluded woman would have such a state of the art kitchen?

But if she has this bomb ass kitchen, then she must be a cook of some sort. Why else would she need a house/flat with such a detailed room if she was practically incapable of cooking anything and wouldn’t need it?

So I headcanon that Molly is basically a great cook and likes to make morgue jokes to her food while she cooks it.

Her jumper was hideous though. We can’t have everything it seems.

It also sucks that Molly got dragged into it. Again. Like, can’t the girl have some damn peace and quiet in her life? Can’t she just relax?

And it’s incredibly sad because she was basically friend zoned before she had to confess her feelings for a man that won’t return them the way she wants.

Though she made him realize how incredibly hard it is to admit your feelings. Even if he doesn’t love her, he struggled to say those words. After he literally threw them about a moment prior, many times, he could not do it when put on the spot because she was his friend and he knew his insincerity would hurt her.

18.

To put ‘I Love You’ on a coffin is a bit macabre, isn’t it? It’s basically implying that the Love was dead before it truly began.

And that’s sad.

Especially when Sherlock began to emotionally trash the shit out of it because he was just that wrung out.

19.

“Brother mine.”

I am not well right now. He cares a lot. And I care a lot. And we all care too much. He tried to anger Sherlock in order to have Sherlock shoot him. He wanted his little brother to be able to keep his best friend this time, and that hurts.

And Sherlock shaking and being so sad and unable to do it. He cares too.

My #FEELS

Sherlock turning the gun on himself because he doesn’t want to shoot his big brother or his best friend.

RIP Melli.

20.

The trauma of having to realize that your childhood friend was killed by your own sister, is one thing.

But we as an audience now understand more about Sherlock. He re-wrote his own story because he didn’t like it. He couldn’t handle it. He didn’t want to. A common thing in those with PTSD.

Sherlock’s actions from then on were a reflection of his new attitude. His character in A Study In Pink makes more sense now.

And it’s probably the saddest thing to realize for him.

21.

Greg calling Sherlock a ‘good man’ is a nice way to come full circle from episode one of season one.

He called him Greg!

Sometimes I wondered if Sherlock actually knew his name but said wrong ones to annoy him. It’s a very Sherlock thing to do.

22.

“It is what it is.”

23.

Mummy Holmes looks to Sherlock and asks him for help. “You were always the grown up.”

Probably the best moment in Sherlock’s life. Like he’s somehow managed to be the more mature between he and Mycroft, in his parents’ eyes. More responsible. Level-headed. Which is ironic considering what happened in this episode.

24.

Sherlock and Eurus performing a duet.

Now, this is a bit strange for me to like especially after the emotional trauma she put them all through throughout the episode, but when I see Eurus, I don’t see a copy of Mycroft or Sherlock.

Sherlock was once a ‘machine’. If anything. Eurus is the machine, constantly working through variables in an effort to understand.

Sherlock’s emotions are what make him a great detective. Eurus has a great mind, but her lack of understanding for emotions are her downfall in a way. She’s not good with them, much like Mycroft, and so she remains to be like a computer.

A computer that needs heavy rewiring. And a de-bugging.

She is not well. She will not have a normal life.

“Genius needs an audience,” as Sherlock once said. She had no audience. She had no friends. She had nothing. No one. She was her own friend. And it didn’t do her any good.

On top of that, I’m not certain her situation was handled properly. It doesn’t seem like the best was done for her, and while I get limited options at the time, couldn’t they have done better as technology and the area of medicine progressed?

Sherlock playing a duet with her doesn’t mean he forgives her. Maybe he’s accepted what she’s done, and can understand her point of view now. Maybe he knows how unwell she truly is, and he pities her.

Or he’s genuinely interested in the sister who was pretty much gone from his life for at least 30 years.

The Holmes parents wanted to be in contact with her despite everything she’d done. What’s so off about Sherlock being curious? His entire memory was rearranged because of it. He has a right to be curious.

25.

MISS YOU

“Who you really are doesn’t matter.”

A lot of people have emotionally taken this phrase out of context. And I could honestly gripe about how pathetic it is, but my comment just now kind of explains my thoughts of almost everyone else’s thoughts, so I’ll continue on.

As always, people take only one part, instead of the whole.

“I know who you really are. A junkie who solves crimes to get high, and the soldier who never came back from the war.”

Mary lays it on them. The facts of who they are. Sherlock is an addict and he substitutes cocaine, for crime solving to keep his mind afloat and of use. Otherwise he’d been higher than a kite and eating chips all the time.

John was unable to transition into the life of a civilian. Much like other soldiers never truly do. You can take the soldier out of the war, but you cannot take the war out of the soldier, and this is a textbook case of it.

She broke them down past their titles and what everyone knows them as, to their basics. Who they really are.

And being a junkie isn’t considered cool. Having an addiction to adrenaline isn’t considered cool. Most would look down on such things if they knew the truth about Sherlock and John and their inner struggles and problems. They’d been deemed unstable. Awkward. Dangerous probably.

Two men who live together actively seeking danger and possibly life threatening circumstances constantly, in order to fulfill some kind of addiction they each have.

But Mary goes on to tell them that it doesn’t matter.

I have said many times that doing drugs or alcohol doesn’t make you a bad person. And a lot of people would look down on them for the truth of who they are, but Mary tells them it doesn’t matter. She knows them and who they can become. She understands both of them in ways that other people can’t.

It shouldn’t matter if someone is a junkie or if they suffer PTSD. It shouldn’t be their defining characteristic. We are more than our choices. Sherlock and John are more than their choices.

And to get all angry over something that simple is immature and as I previously stated, pathetic.

26.

John spraying the new smiley face on the wall.

I lowkey thought he and Mrs Hudson were annoyed by it, but he literally re-sprays it on the new wallpaper!

Sherlock shoots the wall again to be sure.

He then stabs the mantel, much to poor Mrs Hudson’s vexation.

27.

Sherlock and John living in 221B and raising Rosie together. And John smiling up at Sherlock. Yes. Seeing Sherlock going from trying to reason with a baby on how to keep a rattle, to bouncing her in his arms while he smiles, is great.

It’s a moment that I’ve wanted for years.

28.

Finally, my opinion of the Sherlock fandom has gone down since this season started. I never once had a problem until people started attacking me for liking the episodes. People literally mocking me for not believing that John cheated on his wife. And then turning around a week later claiming they didn’t believe it either. I had those blogs marked down and when I checked on them after “The Lying Detective” aired, I blocked every one of their lying asses.

Sherlock is a great show. A show about Sherlock Holmes primarily. Hence why the show is named after him. We see him in the beginning. We see him in the end. It’s his journey. His adventure.

In the last episode of season 4, Sherlock asked John if he was okay, several times. He wasn’t in any way concerned in A Study In Pink. He’s grown as a person by opening up with John.

I liked season 4. There was drama at every turn, little extra bits here and there that required another watch or 5, secrets and riddles that had to be solved. So many throwbacks to the books and former shows, like usual int he show.

I was happy with everything. As a GenderFluid Pansexual, I was not insulted. I didn’t ‘feel attacked’ by anything in Sherlock. I wasn’t phased in the least by anything. I don’t consider anything ‘queerbaiting’ or a ‘spit on the LGBTQ+ Community’. We got Irene for God’s sake! Sexy Lesbian Dominatrix who is smarter than Sherlock, more cunning than Mycroft, and assured in her own sexuality and self. And she wasn’t killed off.

There’s this strange western concept that sex and kissing proves that two people love each other. Romance doesn’t not depend on gender. So unless you’re telling me you’re in love with someone’s genitals, cut the shit.

I don’t need them to kiss. I need them together, happy, doing what both of them love, looking out for each other, and being the pillar the other needs. And if they were opposite genders, this would have immediately been considered canonical conformation of Joanlock. But it’s like it’s only canon if the men kiss for everyone to see.

A kiss doesn’t mean you love someone. Moving to shoot yourself so you don’t have to choose between who to shoot, is a bigger declaration of love.

The words ‘I love you’ are bandied about constantly. They have no meaning in my book. I look to actions to show me how someone feels. So telling someone you love them is easy(if you’re not Molly). But offering to give your life for them isn’t easy.

I take that to be important. I take the emotional support between them as my confirmation.

And if the majority of the fandom wants to throw a fit and continue to be depressed, then do so. But don’t count me in on it.

I’m restricting my contact to the fandom on Tumblr. Shockingly, Tumblr ended up being the cesspool of hate from the Sherlock fandom, out of all the possible sites to cause drama.

So many fandoms are disgusted by BBC Sherlock right now. So many people glad to have not been dragged in ever, as they witness people being attacked in just the past day alone. Their feeds and dashboards filled with blatant harassment between bloggers who can’t grow up.

It’s gotten ridiculous and I don’t want to be a part of it when there are so few people left who actually use their brains.

The Sherlock Fandom has become just like the Twilight Fandom. Congrats. You’ve put me off to fandom happenings and ensured many don’t want to get to know the show we supposedly love so much. And you confirmed the beliefs of a lot of others, over the ‘pretentious assholes’ that make up the Sherlock fandom.