#and how like them that totally affects him and led to an unhealthy dynamic and and anddd

[everykillerbee]

[cephydeluxe]

Ohhh I got some asks for the v/mc/rika polycule!! 🤓

1. Do you have any songs/music you like to associate with them? A playlist maybe? 👀 Or just a couple of songs or something, I'm a music nerd, hehe

2. How would you describe their affection towards one another? Are they rough with each other? Gentle? Or do they differ in how they give their affection to each other? I guess case and point is: who's the one coming out covered in bite marks, pfft

3. Are there any feelings of jealousy involved between them? It'll probably be easy to imagine v getting the short end of the stick, but, uh.... he's kind of canonically a freak. So it's highly debatable if he would even get hurt or upset by anything, really. Man's a weird one, and we love him for it. But what about Rika or MC? Do either of them have to deal with feelings of envy or insecurity? Rika's a highly anxious and insecure individual, while MC will have to deal with V's and Rika's mutual obsession with one another. It's an interesting dynamic! I wanna read up on how you see it for them, for better and for worse <3

OMGOMGOMG ‼️‼️‼️ tytyty for asking, I love their dynamic sm,,,, this will be very, extremely, audaciously long lol (u have opened the autism pandora box) it’s all under the read more

TW: unhealthy relationship dynamics, mentions of trauma and mental illness, physical, emotional, and mental abuse (the unholy triforce 😭), also sexual themes too (you know a ships good when you gotta bring out the long ass list of triggers JHASGJDS)

1. MUSIC

I have like a hundred playlists for these freaks and they’re all have a thousand songs in them that VAGUELY remind me of them, so, I’ll give you my top 5 :)

1.

This song is THE QUINTESSENTIAL Rika song, 100%, no doubt. Rika’s jealousy and envy of V’s “light” compared to her “darkness” is at the heart of what killed their relationship and plays a huge role in the creation of the mint eye. V certainly isn’t nowhere near as vain as Julius Caesar, but Rika couldn’t fit the role of Brutus here any better than she already does🥺🥺🥺.

“That the people would see me too as a poet, and not just the muse” is such a good line for rika’s thoughts and feelings on their relationship augh, she sees v’s ability to love her, to “save” her, and constantly compares it to her hatred of everyone in her past who mistreated and abused her, and wonders “why can’t I have the ability to love others? why am I in agony even now in this relationship? why can’t I be the savior and not just v’s muse?”

Totally encapsulates Rika’s slow mental decline as V keeps enabling her, it stoked her “devil” and it starts to create a vicious cycle of “heap on the love, get jealous of v’s light, become resentful and aggressive as an unhealthy coping mechanism, “test v’s love” (hurt him), remorse, hate herself, resolve to be “cured” by the light, repeat”. She has no idea what romantic love actually looks like, so she gets it confused with obsessive hatred.

^^^this is totally the scene where she stabs him LMAOSDHSJJHD

“I don’t want what you have, I want to be you” it’s such a good line, it’s Rika 100%,,,,, augh 🥺🥺🥺

2.

This song makes me froth at the mouth soooo bad thinking about V/MC affair hijinks (I’m delusional), but I think the general vibe fits with Rika feeling scorned and cheated at the end of V route. Like instead of fabricating a woman up, she lured MC to mint eye which set up the events that led V and MC to fall in love (kinda), smh she set herself up 😒

3.

Casual/Deep story V vibes at their finest,,,,, imagining V wandering alone through his old, and frighteningly chilly, house, the one he built with Rika to be the foundation for their new happy life,,,, trying to remember her face after finally losing his vision completely and having spent so long apart from her,,, while questioning the nature of their relationship for it to end like this,,,, calling out her name in hope she’ll come back and the past 2 years will have been a dream,,,,, hell yeagh (hooked up 2 life support)

4.

All of kikuo’s songs remind me of mint eye, but hole dwelling is Rika/MC vibes 100%.(could also be ray tbh BUT THIS AINT ABOUT HIM ‼️) Rika tries to convince MC to stay with her by appealing to the hurt, scared, and confused childlike side of her similar to the way the song does. “The outside world just wants to hurt people like us anyway, but don’t worry, I’m always here for you, I understand you. There’s no need to change, it’s uncomfortable and scary, just stay in this place I built for you and me.” MC fuckin HATES this shit, but being in a place like mint eye wears down on you, so mc will occasionally (and very begrudgingly) lean on Rika for support. It’s very sweet (delusional).

5.

Ok this oldie sticks out jahshj (I’m a fnv freakazoid) but it’s totally MC singing about V 🥹💕. I wouldn’t say it was “love at first sight”,,,,, but it was totally “attraction at first sight” lmao (big difference). Their attraction was really quick to spark, they had a lot of things in common and similar views (not so much in other things LOL) like their love for art in all forms, their introverted nature, their mutual appreciation for all things romantic (aka, their both in love with falling in love), and their similar martyr complex lolololol. MC singing this while spending a sleepless night tending to a sickly drugged V, while lamenting her newfound budding feelings for him,,,(cephy stop obsessing over romance as a tragedy challenge: impossible)

Some honorable mentions

(^^^ V would never describe his relationship with Rika so cruelly, EVER,,,,, but the vibe of love performed as art for others instead of something to build with someone you care about,,, it’s immaculate)

11. AFFECTION

Their dynamic can be confusing, but don’t worry, you can’t possibly be more confused than they are, and they’re IN IT lol. Generally their dynamic is, the “ring leader” (Rika) and her two adoring affectionate “lovers” (V and MC) (more like playthings tbh). They have a whole web of dynamics though, ray made a chart to keep track of it all so when inevitably Rika has a meltdown over a perceived slight and needs him to vent to, he can keep track of what’s what (kinda)(poor guy).

Rika/MC affection: USUALLY MC does NOT want anything to do with Rika,,, but V can be super suffocating,,,, and Rika is extremely persistent with getting MC’s attention, and the line between hate and love can be extremely thin (especially in their case). MC tends to relent when rika’s upset though, she doesn’t like seeing her cry (she tries to convince herself lol) and will comfort Rika when she does. MC generally follows Rika’s led in moments like this (overstepping her bounds, even accidentally, is a recipe for disaster). Rika knows this, and will take full advantage, cue 7 hour cuddling session that takes up MC’s whole day, even if she had something planned with V 🤭🤭🤭 Rika is also wayyyy more happily (and sexually) affectionate with MC than with V lol (cause she’s closeted lesbian- wHO SAID THAT) Mutual biting, but the one biting is usually Rika.

V/MC affection: my sweet lovers,,,,, they are much too sweet to each other considering the circumstances,,, V (despite his relationship with Rika) has never felt so genuinely attracted to another person before, it’s always been a conscious choice he’s made for the sake of his art, his love, his obsession, his guilt, his light. So when his feelings for MC spring up outta nowhere, he has a kinda catholic reaction to them ahdghshgd. “Good heavens, what is this feeling??? For a woman I met a week ago, no less….. What a sad excuse for a man I am, how could I love anyone else besides Rika….i should stop…(proceeds to call MC for the 50th time that day just to hear her voice)” and MC,,,, MC has never had a more embarrassing crush on a guy, ever HEHEHE she doesn’t know how to cope with his flustering when she reaches for his hand, his old timey romantic gestures (getting her flowers and walking with her on the side farthest from the road)(throwing his coat on a puddle for her to walk on HSHSDJ). He can be a lil too much at times, (which sometimes frustrates her, she feels smothered at times, and it’s her first relationship (good lord) and she’s not a well adjusted person either) but they both have this really cute, almost innocent, puppy love thing going on, it’s cute 🥰, it’s also the only kind of real affection v gets lol (poor guy). MC has a bad case of “cute-aggression” that gets exasperated by V’s smothering, so it’s usually her giving out the bites hjajhd V takes anything she gives him, he’s so touch starved. Rika usually butts in on their time together, but more on that later.

V/Rika affection(or lack thereof) : these two,,,, the apocalyptic disaster couple themselves,,,,, well for starters Rika keeps him at a looooong distance, in most cases. The reason (at least she believes) they broke up in the first place is because rika’s devil was being burned by V’s love, BUT she admits herself that she “needs” v’s light to fuel her darkness. V also feels an obligation to shine his light on her, the initial obsession and intrigue long dead by now, but he still genuinely cares about Rika’s wellbeing, very much so. They “love” and “need” each other like a sick person needs their meds, but the sick person doesn’t feel affectionate towards their medication, right? No real heart-warming connection towards their pill bottle, it’s just something they need to live. In fact, wouldn’t they feel resentful of their medicine?? Having to constantly depend on it for survival, all the while dealing with side effects when they would rather do anything else?? Yeah that’s their relationship lol,,,,,(somebody get a therapist on speed dial) There’s Biting here too, but it’s all Rika, and not at all playful as her bites with MC, and her bites are nowhere near as passionate like the ones MC gives him.

111. JEALOUSY AND INSECURITY

Oooh lord 😭😭😭 Rika’s practically made of it, V unfortunately enables it, and MC cannot stomach it (except when she gets jealous too). Most of their fights (that practically rival ancient Chinese civil wars in casualties) stem from someone (usually Rika, never V) feeling jealous or insecure. It’s a miracle this poly trio even happened. It’s a complete scientific mystery as to how the poly trio is still going.

Rika’s jealousy and insecurity: I could write a detailed analysis on rika’s insecurity that would rival the Lord of the Rings in length and it still wouldn’t convey just how bad she’s got it, so I’ll try and give the cliff notes instead. She feels she “needs” to be loved in order to be validated as a living being, worthy of living happily. So when she feels “left out” (not the center of attention for 2 seconds) she spirals, thinking she’s being left alone just like so many times before in childhood, just like a defective doll her adopted parents didn’t want, and that maybe they were right, she couldn’t possibly deserve love. Panicking, she usually interrupts whatever V and MC have going on, and insists on reassurance of their love for her, and if she feels she’s being slighted, she’ll fly into a rage, handing out punishments and tests of love, but you can tell she’s biased cause MC’s “punishment” is being confined to Rika’s comfy bedroom for a week and V’s punishment is being locked in the dungeon for 3 weeks 😭😭😭😒😒😒 Usually best case scenario is

V/MC enjoying a moment together alone cuddling

Rika immediately being alerted via her sixth sense

Rika barging in like “make room bitches”

Rika settling smack dab between them lol

MC’s jealous and insecurity: She HATES Rika’s jealous fits so fuckin much lmaoooo 🤭. She convinces herself she would never get jealous ever…… which is an outright LIE it just manifests differently and less often. She hates V’s tendency to distance himself from her to appease Rika, it makes her insecurity flare badly, cue her starting a spat with Rika, and hoping V will take her side. It’s stupid, petty, and downright goofy behavior honestly, but it’s her first relationship (good lord) and she’s got the worst fucking partners ever 🫠🫠🫠 how else is a sheltered neurodivergent girl in her early 20s to cope.

V’s (non existent) jealousy and insecurity: As you have correctly guessed,,,,,, V is definitely not a jealous man HJDDSJSJSF 😂😂😂😂 He is weirdly secure in the relationship, due to Rika’s dependence on his “light” and though his relationship with MC is very new, he feels the tight bond (trauma bond lol) they have and doesn’t worry about whether or not she’ll leave him, also due in part to the fact he doesn’t worry about them not returning his affections, he’s more worried about whether or not he deserves to love or be loved in the first place. If he found out one of them saw someone else outside the trio, he wouldn’t be upset besides somehow twisting the event into somehow being his fault like “if my light was strong enough they wouldn’t have had to go somewhere else for it, was I neglecting them??? 😢😢😢”(poor guy) This trait of his tends to set the other two off, as they mistake his laidback “I’m cool with everything” security as aloofness, and spiral into their insecurity 😑😑😑 it also has the hilarious (debatable) effect of usually ending spats between Rika and MC.

*Rika and MC arguing over something* “V!! What do you think?? Whose side are you on!?”

V:*deep breath* I think you’re both right. 😇😇😇

“Are you fucking kidding me-“ “SEE I TOLD YOU, isn’t he infuriating????” “V just pick a side!!!” “THATS WHAT IM SAYING!!” “Ugh you’re so right-“

(queue lesbianism, hilarity ensues)

They’re a complete disaster together, but you’d have to have the strength of fucking Zeus to separate them, it’s ludicrous.

[animeyanderelover]

Could I have headcanons for Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke sharing a darling?

This was actually part of a post I made a while ago. It was about sharing a darling pairs in which I was personally interested. Also, since I did already a Sakura and Naruto post and a modern reader post, I tried to summon the backstory shorter up and layed my focus on the dynamic of the relationship.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, unhealthy relationship, unhealthy mindset, vicious behavior, harsh behavior, killing, manipulating, kidnapping

Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura sharing a darling

🍜💙🌸I can see you as a fellow classmate back in the academy days with Naruto having already a huge crush on you back then and going on small little dates with you. When the teams were made, he was definitely upset that he wasn’t part of your team, jealous of the classmates who were. With Sakura you developed a good friendship during these days since Naruto brought you over as often as possible since he wanted to introduce you to his new friends. She was just thankful that Naruto had someone, he could always count on. Sasuke was most likely annoyed by you at first because that blonde over there never stopped talking about you. I feel like that if you would excel in a special area, ninjutsu for example or would be a good strategist, he might be impressed. But he would definitely need to spend a lot of time with you. You might have helped him with new techniques for which he acknowledged you.

🍜💙🌸You could say that this was somewhat the start of it all, Naruto and Sasuke both being in love with you. It made the relationship a bit more complicated to say the least, both often arguing when it came to you. A lot of snarky and mean comments from Sasuke, poking fun at Naruto and saying he wouldn’t be strong enough and Naruto throwing childish tantrums. Sakura, knowing that both of them liked you, was of course saddened due to her crush on Sasuke back then. But she also knew that you couldn’t do anything about it and felt almost sorry for you, these two were much to take after all.

🍜💙🌸It came to the final showdown between Sasuke and Naruto after he had decided to leave the village, wanting to get stronger and feeling hatred for Naruto because that guy had gotten so strong and monopolized your time. It led to a much more intense fight between those two, Sasuke more aggressive because of all the anger inside of him which led him to yelling at Naruto that one day he would get you and then you would be his. Naruto on the other hand got terrified when hearing this, not willing to let you anywhere near Orochimaru and Sasuke, who was clearly not thinking, which also led him to pushing harder.

🍜💙🌸He was scared when he had to leave you alone, but also knew that this was a necessary step to get stronger. He made Tsunade, Sakura, Kakashi and everyone of his friends promise that they would protect you. He knew Sasuke was lurking somewhere outside there, waiting for his chance.

🍜💙🌸It was during this time that Sakura fell for you, spending everyday with you that at one point Tsunade just decided to train both of you together since you were always there. She just realized that you had been there for her all the time, always supported her and acted as the shoulder to cry on when she had needed one. She felt conflicted about this, knowing that Naruto and you were an unofficial couple which led her to some mood swings. She was either on cloud nine or somewhere deep underground.

🍜💙🌸When Naruto came back, she informed him about what had happened. He was at first a bit more iffy about how to feel, but him and Sakura shared a great trust after all, leading to both of them agreeing to share whilst also wanting to safe their teammate. Sasuke on the other hand had spent years training with Orochimaru and that guy had somehow found out about his pupil’s little obsession with you, daring to sometimes ask him about you which led to Sasuke aggressively reacting. Even the thought of Orochimaru anywhere near you was disgusting.

🍜💙🌸After he went rogue, he had originally planned to take you after defeating Itachi. You could have been in the search troupe together with Naruto, Sakura and all the others. Tsunade and Kakashi were aware that Sasuke was after you, so they most likely either made you pair up with Naruto or Sakura at that time. If Sasuke found out or not depends on whether he sensed you or not. If he did, there’s a chance he really went after you, only to be interrupted by all the other people searching for him which was quite frustrating. You were so close and he still couldn’t grab you.

🍜💙🌸He didn’t know about Sakura yet, Tobi probably told him about it, using it as a manipulation to make him distrust the village even more and bring him to joining the Akatsuki. And that made Sasuke snap. As if it wouldn’t have been enough that this blonde moron had fallen for you, Sakura too?! Was that guy kidding him! And when he found out that those two were even sharing, he honestly was irritated. The concept of sharing the person you love wasn’t exactly well known to him.

🍜💙🌸It was most likely after the war that those three finally came to the terms of sharing with each other. Of course Sasuke needed a lot of time to get convinced. It was most likely Sakura and maybe even the darling who suggested it. Naruto wasn’t exactly all that happy with it. He was a jealous boy after all and he knew that Sasuke wasn’t exactly...the nicest person. He was dubious about this whole thing and the only reason why he was willing to give it a shot in the first place was because Sasuke was his friend. And as a worshipper he refused to let you get yelled at. And Sasuke was conflicted about this. Sharing really isn’t his strength and whilst he did saw them as his teammates again, he was still pretty selfish about you. He shouldn’t have to share you with someone else. But he knew too well that Sakura and Naruto wouldn’t let you go. Neither would he. He needed most likely help and comfort from the darling during this time so he would come to the terms of sharing.

🍜💙🌸It is truly a thing to witness in here. Because whilst Sakura and Naruto worked together so well because they share a lot of Yandere types and has the same point of view about how to treat and share you, not to mention the same trust, Sasuke isn’t like those two. He’s more of a bastard who can lash out easily when the wrong buttons are pushed and also yell at his darling for it.

🍜💙🌸It’s also worth mentioning that whilst Naruto and Sakura do see Sasuke as their friend and teammate and trust him, they always hoped for him to come back, when it comes to their darling, both of them are a bit more distrusting and more on edge. They know Sasuke’s mood swings and whilst he definitely is a bit more nicer to you, he can just as well spit out some hurtful words. And that’s definitely anything, but fine with Naruto and Sakura.

🍜💙🌸The dynamic between Naruto and Sasuke could be described as shaky. They are literally back to how they used to act to each other when they were younger. That means Sasuke mocking his friend whilst Naruto throws childish tantrums. But both of them changed after all so it can go from just acting like children and teasing and yelling at each other quickly to actually throwing hands over you. And in this case Sakura and the s/o will have to step in so they don’t try to kill each other again. And whilst Sakura definitely always tries to solve this peacefully, the moment she loses her temper too or notices that both of them scare you with their behavior, she definitely isn’t above punching them and yelling at them to stop their stupid behavior since they scare you with it.

🍜💙🌸The dynamic between Sakura and Sasuke might be a bit more awkward given the fact that Sakura used to have a crush on Sasuke and he knows that too. But at least those two are a bit more polite with each other, most likely because most of the times she knows not to push his buttons and tries in general to always talk with them if they have a problem with each other. If we go from cannon logic and assume that both of them should still develop romantic feelings for each other later on, this would of course change a few things. Sasuke would just have an easier time sharing with someone if he loved that person as well. It would still be pretty turbulent though.

🍜💙🌸Time has to be developed carefully because once again, the dynamic with Sakura and Naruto might be great, but Sasuke doesn’t add up to it. Sakura and Naruto are used to sharing their darling and definitely spend a lot of time with them together. Whilst Naruto does need a bit more time alone with their darling than Sakura does, they managed to schedule the time. But with Sasuke in the picture things changed quite a bit. Sasuke is more of a loner and since he’s possessive, he needs a lot more time with his darling in comparison to many others. Another thing is that he needs the calmness and Naruto and Sakura tend to be a bit too loud for his taste. Not only that, but all three of them together with their darling can lead to a quick argument between Naruto and Sasuke and that’s when it really gets noisy.

🍜Naruto would grow most likely more clingy due to constantly being teased and poked fun at by Sasuke. From the three he is definitely the one who would smother you more than Sasuke. He isn’t exactly happy with having to share with the black-haired boy since Sasuke goes sometimes a bit too harsh on you. There is also this old competition from his younger days between him and Sasuke which still influences the way those two act with each other. He’s also a bit more protective over you than he usually would be, not wanting you to endure any of Sasuke’s mood swings alone. If he should find out that you always get scared when him and Sasuke are in another shouting session which is about to reach it’s climax, he would feel totally horrible afterwards, apologizing whilst suffocating you in even more affection. He would try afterwards to prevent himself from getting angered too much by Sasuke for your sake which isn’t very easy.

💙Sasuke is somewhat the more unpleasant counterpart of Sakura and Naruto. He isn’t the nicest person and he knows that too. He tends to often get all pent-up due to constantly throwing fits with Naruto. It makes him a bit more trigger-happy and so it definitely happens once in a while that he has to let his frustrations out, sometimes even on you. He does feel bad afterwards since he understands that this isn’t completely your fault. It’s just hard for him to endure Sakura and Naruto, who are very overbearing to say the least. He needs time alone with you to connect properly and that is hard with the other two constantly around. He isn’t exactly all that willing to make things up with Naruto since he possesses a huge amount of Uchiha pride. Sakura would honestly have to drag him by the collar to apologize to you and to make both of them apologize to each other.

🌸Sakura is the voice of reasoning between those two. She’s honestly the only reason they didn’t lose their other arm as well. She’s more reasonable with everything and acts somewhat as a messenger between those two since their pride often keeps them from talking to each other like a grownup does. She often talks with both of them as polite as she can, figures out the problems and talks to the other one, listening to his problems and trying to make him help to understand the point of view from the other guy a bit better. She’ll also there to comfort you when you had to witness yet another fight between those two. Whilst she is someone who tries to solve things in a non-violent way, she tends to lose her temper too, grabbing both of them by their collars and shaking them whilst shouting at them to stop acting like complete idiots. Does anyone of those want to make you feel scared of them? Good grief.

🍜💙🌸This will never be a picture-perfect relationship, not with Sasuke in here. It will get overtime better though since Naruto and Sasuke will somewhat learn to co-exist next to each other and share with each other which will have you and Sakura let a sigh of relief out. The only thing they have to work on now is somehow helping Naruto and Sasuke to not get a bit too messy. Sakura is due to being a medic not that willing to kill unless something serious happened. Naruto possesses a few boundaries, but it is still too easy to set him off. And Sasuke definitely earns the first place. He’s paranoid, even more since he has to share his darling already and doesn’t want any other trailing after them.

🍜💙🌸It also makes him want to isolate his darling a bit more which is not okay with the other two. Sasuke isn’t really comfortable with with going outside with his darling, he is more on edge, especially when in public. He doesn’t have anything against a short walk outside in nature, but when he has to go under humans he tends to keep his darling closer to him. This isn’t that terrible of a case with Naruto and Sakura. They are just on the jealous side, but not that paranoid like Sasuke is. In short, there will always be things that will require long discussions and fights until for the time being a solution is found.

[iabsolutelyresentthiswebsite]

The Romantic Relationship Development Rebuttal

I received this comment (below) on my post for the second installment of my “Fundamental Misunderstanding of Rian Johnson” webseries and comments are not long enough for what I need to say.

Them: “I think you mistaken that the relationships in TLJ are meant to be explicitly romantic? You basically have a bunch of broken people just trying to connect to one another as they try to figure themselves out/their places (in the often flawed ways people do), which is much more realistic in an imperfect/war torn world than romantic love is. The OT and PT directly romanticizes these unhealthy relationships in Anidala and Han/Leia, but they both fail for lack of substance. On the other hand everything in TLJ is pretty subtle, tho Kylo and Rey have and spark more substantial development in each other than either Anidala and Han/Leia in the OT/PT. Is it romantic? Who knows. Affection doesn’t always have to be. What matters is that these characters and their relationships become the catalyst for growth, romantically or otherwise. Besides this, Rose’s character is there to give a voice to the rebels (in and outside the mobilized resistance) and their motivations. Perhaps the reason it was shown this way will be clearer in IX, as XIII clarified much of XII. TLJ and what Johnson was trying to do seemed pretty clear to me but I understand we all have diff opinions. Anyway, Happy V-Day!“ 

Because of their respectfulness, I have declined to include their name, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are so wrong on almost everything. Including the episode numbers... (BTW, I electively ignored the comments until someone slid in and agreed with them. This is the only reason I am replying now.)

Never did I say in that video that the relationships were intended to be explicitly romantic. The problem is, nowhere in The Last Jedi, was it ever even implied it was supposed to be something else. I understand the whole “imperfect people trying to find imperfect ways to make sense of things”. I like that concept. I do. But even on that front, both FinnRose and most especially Reylo fail on every account.

Finn and Rose don’t play on each other well, don’t challenge each other in any logical manner, and nor do they find any kind of solace or understanding that the commenter is referring to in one another. Finn is an escaped Stormtrooper, who is extremely conflicted, scared, but brave, however doesn’t know his place outside of the fact he feels semi-indebted to both Poe and Rey for saving him in different ways. Rose’s purpose is still unclear outside of the whole forced romance arc. She is a useless character, aside from the fact the whole purposeless excursion on Canto Bight that should have been between Poe and Finn led to Finn voluntarily aligning himself with the Resistance. But I truly believe, without Canto Bight, that whole alignment arc could have and should have been done much better and more convincingly. Rose’s character did nothing to serve to give the rebels of voice, so I don’t know what you’re talking about. We know that the rebels come from everywhere and have their own reasons for joining and exploring that would have been great and even hearing the little bit of Rose’s backstory was...fine, I guess, but it does not change the fact she handicapped the entire plot- rather, lack thereof. It’s never been necessary to have a poorly-designed side character’s motivations explored in a poorly-constructed environment completely being forced by the plot in a main canon movie. That is exactly what the books are designed to do. Cover information that is inconsequential in the grand scheme of things so that it gives backstory on people we didn’t really think twice about. We saw Rose’s sister die for the Resistance and that was pretty powerful, but we didn’t even seen Rose really grieve over her sister, except lashing out at Finn, whom she was just fawning over. Like...I’m sorry, she was written so badly. She is a detriment to the plot, to the necessary relationship developments, and even to herself. 

Moreover, to boldly claim that it wasn’t intended to be explicitly romantic is objectively wrong. This is Disney we’re talking about. To them, love solves everything and for the things it doesn’t solve, it excuses. Rose kissed Finn because they wanted us to see them together romantically, but they gave Rose no personality and therefore, she and Finn have no chemistry. A kiss on the lips is a universal symbol of romantic love and as someone who was very mildly interested in a potential friendship between the two, that even I saw that kiss as romantic 100% of the way (btws, that was the only thing that lead me to that conclusion cinematically), it really says something. Also, cinematically speaking, the moment they kissed, an explosion went off, which is very clearly indicative of the romantic aspect I am so confidently asserting was intended to be in The Last Jedi between these two. They tried to make us see the “spark” by literally showing us them, but failed because of everything else wrong with their dynamic. 

Moreover, I explicitly do not see Reylo as romantic at all. They are completely 100% at opposite ends of the spectrum and cannot reconcile at this point. A Reylo endgame is completely asinine with what Rian Johnson did to them, which has always been fine by me. I don’t like/respect/enjoy a Reylo endgame as a narrative concept because it does not make logical sense based on their characters and interactions. It would have been asinine after JJ’s first installment, too. Reylo simply cannot happen, logically-speaking. As TFA began to explain, TLJ solidified that Reylo is DOA- Dead On Arrival. 

But the problem is, Rian Johnson basically said he ships Reylo, so we know that’s what he was trying to do. He said he played with the idea of them actually making out  in The Last Jedi. That is proof enough he fundamentally misunderstands romantic relationship development, but also fundamentally misunderstands these characters he’s writing! He did not and continues to not understand their real dynamic, which I really don’t get. It’s not that hard. 

Again, I concede that how someone might see the whole “imperfect people/imperfect places” thing. It makes more sense than what Rian tried to have happen. Rey and Kylo having this Force bond, which would have been fine under different circumstances, is a thing I was totally down for. Loved the concept. It made sense after what The Force Awakens established their relationship to clearly be, but now...suddenly that is thrown out the window for a shallow, Dues Ex Machina, self-fulfilling prophecy-esque plot device initiated by a person who simply is not powerful enough to make this thing happen. So is the Force-bond genuine or fabricated? No one will ever know. 

Kylo is very broken, although clearly not nearly as broken as we were lead to believe considering Rian decided to have him throw his redemption away in favor of the lies and power his now-deceased master promised him in his youth. Kylo knows what he’s doing now. And Rey, completely stripped of her personality, is unrealistically believing every single thing Kylo Ren has to say without consulting Luke Skywalker about anything. I’ve already spoken about how OOC Luke was, so we are not going there right now. Rey, based on her characterization in TFA, would not have done that, especially considering Kylo had just murdered his father in front of her and knew that his father meant something to her. He did it as much for himself as he did to hurt her intentionally. If they were supposed to be “imperfect people finding meaning in imperfect ways”, Kylo would have actually gotten something beneficial out of it, much like Rey. Instead, we have Kylo Ren’s arc assassination and Rey being completely and utterly betrayed by Kylo Ren with no good reason and now the Rebellion is pretty much up shit’s creek without Han, Luke, or Leia. Maybe Rey learned a lesson that she wasn’t supposed to trust Kylo Ren, but why did she in the first place? She literally detested him all of about 18 hours prior. Maybe Kylo Ren learned that people cared about him, but Leia literally telepathically sensed her son and sent him good vibes and Han put his life in jeopardy for his son. He knew that, too. 

Moreover and very quickly, Anidala wasn’t really all that unhealthy until Anakin became obsessed with protecting Padme. It was weird to us because Padme was 14 when Anakin was 9 and they got married when he was like 19 and she was 24. But like, it was what it was until Palpatine really started trying to turn Anakin’s heart by playing on his fears of losing Padme. And at really no point in time was Han and Leia’s relationship unhealthy. They fought a lot because they were denying the sexual tension that did exist between them and their personalities were both fairly dominant, so testing the waters was necessary. Couples fight all the time and their bickering really lead to them being able to see each other for who they truly are. Neither relationship was what you assert it was. 

I will say, again and a-fucking-gain, nothing in this movie should have logically happened and what happened actually is illogical from the very concept to the way it was executed. Rian Johnson wanted us to see failure, but unfortunately for this franchise, the failure we saw was this God-awful movie. 

But like you said, we all have differing opinions. Happy Valentine’s Day.

[feministangertranslator]

Stormy Daniels rocks and makes me feel better about being sexually assaulted on my birthday during the rise of #metoo.

I haven’t posted anything here in a while because frankly, I was sexually assaulted and had to deal with it first privately before continuing on here. I am finally inspired and ready to write about it because it is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and I just saw the brilliant Stormy Daniels and Michael Avenatti make history on The View; I am ecstatic that this revolution is being televised. 

The dissemination of the current wave of feminism to the masses (which includes #metoo, domestic violence, and sex-positive awareness) and the true signs of the crumbling of the Trump administration both happened in an interview with a female adult film actress on a daytime TV show targeted at women. I almost can’t believe my eyes. As a lawyer, I don’t think Daniels and Avenatti would be up there if they didn’t have some juicy, solid evidence and dirt on Trump, so I am extremely hopeful and waiting with bated breath for the next installment.  

As far as the assault I experienced, I had to deal with the shock, shame, confusion, and invalidation I felt after it happened, devastatingly on my birthday on December 16, 2017. I had been talking about feminism and #metoo 24/7 and felt so blindsided and stupid for something like that to happen to me. I didn’t know how to continue writing here openly and it felt like my little passion project had ended before I even got started. The assault was part of a series of events that led me down into a deep depression that came out of a feeling of hopelessness and powerlessness, out of which I am amazed and thrilled to have come to the other side better than before.

I knew I had a right and duty to myself to take my time with moving through it. However, I started this blog specifically to raise awareness about sexual assault and felt so much internal pressure to keep it going and felt like a failure for 1) “letting myself” be sexually assaulted and 2) not bouncing back right away and 3) being so affected by it since it may look to others like it was “not that bad.” And even though I know better, some part of me inside blamed myself. I was so frustrated and angry, let alone found it incredibly embarrassing and ironic to be sexually assaulted in the literal pinnacle of sexual assault awareness two months after the #metoo movement exploded. I was actually shocked that these guys hadn’t got the memo, to be honest. 

Today, I know something special happened to me, women, and our entire society when I watched Daniels on The View. She talked to women in a way they could understand. She detailed the incident where she was allegedly threatened by someone in regards to Trump. She talks about going to mommy and me yoga in broad daylight to a women’s center, a supposedly safe place. She was with her little baby and had a baby toy in her mouth while getting ready to get her baby out of the car when an attractive, professionally dressed and middle-class appearing man came up to her car, and threatened her life if she didn’t stop talking about Trump.

Daniels knew how to talk to women about what it is like to fear for their own and their family’s life and safety because of threats, intimidation, and bullying from men. Daniels and Avenatti clearly know that women face domestic violence and sexual assault all the time and are using this opportunity to educate them. And on a daytime tv show for women, the fear, shock, and paralysis she felt were what she needed to illustrate to get the point across that what is happening to her is, in fact, true, despite her not acting before, and not acceptable and needs to be brought to light and stopped. Both the alleged actions of Trump, and those of other people in power who use intimidation, violence, and sex as a way to control others. This includes boyfriends, partners, husbands, friends, employers, etc. 

I am so tired of the misinformation that something physical or major has to occur for someone to be emotionally scarred, traumatized, or changed and silenced and made to feel powerless because of it; that only harm is done if someone is physically touched, or attacked; that rape is about sex and sexual attraction only; that sexual assault must include violence; that stranger rape is what it is like in “Law and Order” and more common than being raped by a family member or friend; that everyone can easily tell whether someone wants sexual contact without giving express consent so consent isn’t needed; that a rape has to be very “obviously” perpetrated to be believed, if even then; and that powerful and beloved figures in pop culture are somehow incapable of sexually violating women.

The truth is, and people who wish to control another know this: intimidation, words, harassment, and threats of violence or harm are enough to make someone feel powerless and affect their behavior without any major action to follow it. And in that same vein, one does not have to be “raped” to experience the same awful feelings of violation and powerlessness; any nonconsensual sexual contact is a sexual assault and enough to profoundly affect someone.   Because I am a lawyer and a writer, I always look to words to guide me. According to California Criminal law, found at https://codes.findlaw.com/ca/penal-code/pen-sect-243-4.html, “sexual battery” is essentially any unconsented-to sexual contact that it meant to sexually gratify the assailant or abuse the victim, and “rape” is when such forcible contact includes “intercourse.” There are a lot more details, but I think this is the important gist to remember. Our bodies and personal space are sacred and it is a crime for someone to infringe upon that. 

I had to remind myself of this when it happened to me. Not much “physically” happened; however, because the assault surprised me and came out of the blue, it felt like my safety was shattered, my personhood was violated in an instant, and I didn’t have a right to be free to act and feel safe, it affected me profoundly in every aspect of my life - just like all the other violations had. I felt the need to put up my self-protective walls again and chastised myself for letting them down and letting loose and having fun in the first place. 

I was at a dance club with my friend and we accepted drinks from two guys. After we got to the dance floor, I started walking towards my friend as I was trying to get away from one who kept making advances that I turned down, and the other guy who was dancing with my friend suddenly grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me into the crotch of the first guy, which totally shocked and scared the fucking shit out of me. I heard myself scream “no means no” from some protective part deep from within, and the two guys scuttled off like frightened cockroaches.

Even though I stood up for myself, I blamed myself for it happening in the first place; all the classic conditioning went through my head: was I too drunk, did I seem “easy and desperate?” Why did I give that guy a chance even though my gut said no at the beginning? Why didn’t I walk away the first time he made an advance? Did I feel obligated because he bought me a drink? Why did I give him the benefit of the doubt? Not only did I needlessly punish myself for something that wasn’t my fault no matter what the circumstances, but the fact that something inside intuitively had told me to run away, and I hadn’t listened to my inner instincts, I felt like I failed myself. 

I got really depressed and questioned my ability to feel safe, have fun, and be able to trust people and be sexual out in the world. It also happened around the time I was becoming aware of some toxic and unhealthy dynamics I had with some people in my life. That night, it felt like all of the world and everyone in it was unsafe and all my fear had all come to a horrifying explosive pinnacle at that moment. The fact that the one guys who did the physical touching wasn’t even the one I was interacting with, that it seemed like they acted in concert, without even speaking to each other with what appeared to bea seamless orchestration of moves, made me paranoid and obsess over it: did they plan this or are they so indoctrinated in rape culture and entitlement that they just acted like this instinctively and confidently? 

This bizarre moment felt like the explosion of rape culture socialization of men meeting with my maladaptive coping skills from prior abuse to create the perfect storm. I thought I could take care of myself, and since I was not doing anything too provocative, and being friendly, and it being my birthday, that everything would be fine. And I know it’s not my fault, but I know I had a spidey-sense about what was going to happen that I couldn’t articulate so I ignored it. That ignoring of my feminine intuition is my unconscious habit pattern ingrained in me that I am working earnestly to change. When I smell smoke, I have a delay in running away from the fire. This is absolutely because I have been socialized and trained to do it. I realized that my feeling unsafe with some of the people in my life was a sign that I needed to create a sense of safety, love, and self-care for myself, and I have. And to accept that the pushing down of my intuition is a result of the conditioning from prior abuse and know I am doing the best I can to empower myself; I can’t control everyone and everything.

When I expressed my experience or thoughts and feelings on this sexual assault to others, I saw that the world, including some of the women I have confided in, was still not ready to see and recognize sexual assault for what it is. And I still see us women blaming ourselves, and many doing business as usual by trying to walk it off and keep it in and keep quiet. Our society’s collective consciousness will awaken to what really is abuse and assault and how to put take the burden of preventing it off on women in stages, as led by those of us who already know this to be true, either through luck or personal experience. I am finally counting myself amongst the way showers. I can’t take it anymore; I want more people to see this and I am going to talk about it.

Seeing Daniels describe her alleged experience with the man threatening her to “stop talking about Trump” made me so ecstatic, as this is yet another piece of evidence of the sea change coming in empowering women to be able to recognize domestic violence and sexual assault when it happens to them. To have her on tv saying she is doing this to empower women to recognize this type of behavior is progress and I know her message will impact many women. We may not have been able to get Trump prosecuted for the multiple alleged sexual assaults, but his actions are now forever associated with the type of brutal behavior through her account and she is keeping the conversation going. This is genius.

Also, from a legal perspective, Daniels is an excellent witness; she is articulate, works well under enormous pressure, appears credible and put-together, is prepared and confident, doesn’t give conflicting details in retelling her story, does not hesitate on her answers, knows her audience and what to say to them and tell a story, and is appropriately vulnerable and honest on difficult matters. As a survivor, every fiber of my being resonated with what she said, and as a woman who wants to continue the sexual liberation of women, I am delighted it is an adult film star doing this amazing work. I am thrilled, validated, honored and excited to witness this today.