#and i don't feel comfortable demanding you not eat around me unless i approve of what you choose like that's crazy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

confinesofmy · 5 months

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soo crazy how after about a year and a half of leaning heavy on my family because my mom died and i was falling apart i am now pretty sick of the majority of them lol. like i finally fell in with them properly because the circumstances were right for it and uhhh turns out they're bad. can't stand em. lowkey. not good people, like for OTHER people they're not. but also me personally they're not good for me to be around. so now i know lol. 😵‍💫

#my cousin was telling me about something happening with her mom rn and i can't even put it into words nor do i know what to think #or how to act #and there's nothing to be done but just sit with it #and i'm unhappy to know it #and it's second-hand! like it's not even my burden to bear and i'm just 🫥#and we also talked about my parosmia bc she bought a salad that smelled so unspeakably bad #and she was like you should have told me and i was like i didn't know for sure that it would smell bad #and i don't feel comfortable demanding you not eat around me unless i approve of what you choose like that's crazy #and she was like well i would! if i was in your position i definitely would #so i was like yeah i guess. i guess i'm just used to people having bad reactions when i even bring it up.#and she was like yeah <other cousin> thinks you're faking it #and i knew obviously. because of the way she acts. but jesus christ.#that's so so mean to even think. such a misunderstanding of me as a person but also just. literally fucking mean.#and that's how she is with everything #she wouldn't believe in a snake if it bit her #and if we had spent more time together we would've talked about all the other people i can no longer particularly stand #god what a bummer #they were a much better support system when they were hypothetically supportive #presumed supportive #adam yaps #also i love the cousin i was hanging out with today very very dearly but she has low emotional regulation #and it drives me slightly fucking insane at times :') like can you please keep it together for a few hours :')#but that. might be my own internal issue that eye need to work on... like other people's emotions shouldn't affect mine maybe #or maybe i'm right and it's fucking annoying to hang out with someone who's very vocal when they're not having a good time lol idk 🤷

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