#and i knew obviously. because of the way she acts. but jesus christ.

[icallhimjoey]

supreme leader, would you ever write a sequel to ‘ground rules’ where our baby with joe is here and it’s just a cutesy dad!joe moment? (also wouldn’t be opposed to some smutty times as well bc i just can’t go past gotta-be-quiet-cause-the-baby’s-sleeping-but-fuck-i-want-you-right-now-new-parent-smut) heart you, as always!!

we're switching gears, everyone! sorry for the whiplash! Wordcount: 3K

---

Only Have Eyes For You

(read Ground Rules here)

Joe has yet to stop staring at her.

It’s either eyes on her, or eyes on you, and even though you’re gorgeous and make his chest swell beyond what he thought his ribs could ever manage, looking at her is different.

New.

“Will you keep an eye on her?”

“Yea, of course I will. Go get some rest, please, baby.”

It’s been over an hour, and he still needs to raise a thumb up to wipe a tear from an inner corner about every thirty seconds. For several reasons, too.

It’s been five hours since you’ve given birth, and both sets of grandparents – grandparents, that sounds so fucking wild – have left evidence of their visit all over the room. There’s balloons, cards, flowers, bags with gifts in for you and for the newborn baby girl and Joe feels like they brought too much and too little. Were there for too long but left too soon. Should’ve been there right after instead of two hours later, but also maybe should’ve come to meet the baby tomorrow instead of today.

He wants to protect and hide this little girl from the world, but also needs everyone to see how gorgeous she is.

Five-hour old baby, fast asleep in her clear plastic bed that’s been placed right next to your hospital bed where you’re asleep even faster.   

He’s got no idea how much sleep he’s gotten over this weekend. Doesn’t care, either. Just knows that he’s staring at perfection no matter which way he turns, and that the small of his lower back aches because he’s been sitting in his chair weird, but this is the only way he can both touch you and see her little face.

Her perfect little face.

Joe’s got a hand around your ankle as you lie passed out in your hospital bed, finally in what seems to be a deeper sleep rather than just a quick nap, and he wishes you could stay like that for at least the next ten hours. He knows it doesn’t work like that with a newborn, and you’re obviously in a hospital which doesn’t help, but God, you deserve to sleep for a fucking lifetime.

Everything that surrounds you looks and sounds normal, so he guesses your blood pressure must be okay, but he keeps his ears pricked, just to be sure.

The birth was a long one. Almost everything you had tried preparing for hadn’t happened in the way you’d expected, which is what everyone kept telling you was going to happen, but it was still frustrating. It did however feel very fitting with how the two of you had even gotten together.

It was a good thing you managed to pull through most of the labour with humour.

Doctors and nurses had started making jokes of you becoming permanent residents when your dilation had halted at six centimeters for ages, and in return, you had started making jokes that they were going to have to start knocking before coming in, because you knew of a way to induce the labour that Joe would feel more comfortable about if he had some privacy.

“No, no, I do not–” Joe had immediately protested the first time you’d cracked the joke, and the lack of laughter coming from him plus your weird eyebrow wiggle had only made the nurses laugh louder.

“Sorry to inform you,” the doctor said in the middle of giving you another check. “But having sex will not cause labour to begin before your body is ready for delivery.”

“It won’t?” You’d acted all heartbroken. Made Joe mutter, “Jesus Christ!” under his breath, because, you were six centimeters dilated for fuck’s sake. Of course he wasn’t going to have sex with you.

“We’re still not in labour, are we?” the doctor said, insinuating that he thought you had probably tried it at home already.

“Ask him how many times we’ve had sex...” you’d challenged immediately, making Joe groan from the corner of the room where he was sort of pacing around, facing the wall more than the room, because there was another man with fingers deep inside of your vagina, talking to you about sex.

“Can we please focus on—” Joe started, equally as embarrassed as he was humoured by you.

“Once.” You answered your own question and gestured at your stomach. “One time! All it took!”

It had become a running joke between the two of you that Joe didn’t think you were going to involve so many other people in. Joe had gotten you pregnant and then hadn’t touched you since.

Not true. There had been plenty of touching. But you were super pregnant when you’d gotten together and it never felt right for Joe to insert parts of himself into parts of you that felt like they belonged to a whole different person for the time being.

Which actually made a lot of sense to you.

It was just unfortunate that hormones had made you super horny for half the pregnancy.

Hence why it had become a running joke.

One that really annoyed Joe. You were lucky that he loved to hear you laugh and to see you smile so much.

When the two of you were left alone again, Joe scolded you through a smile and pressed kisses to your temple, because you were being funny and entertaining even though you’d just gotten bad news. Again.

Joe lovingly touched your stomach, and pressed his cheek to yours as he looked down at it and said, “You’ve made it too nice in there. She doesn’t want to come out.”

“Remember when we were like, let’s do this as friends...” you joked, but Joe could hardly focus on your light tone of voice when you grabbed hold of his bicep with a strong grip.

“Idiots.” Joe commented, finding your hand and covering it with his.

“I think we would’ve been able to do it, but—”

“You think so?”

“Yea. I was very determined. But, this is nicer.” You smiled and made eye-contact with Joe. He was quick with a tissue, to dab at your wet eyes. He’d learnt to be ready for every and any emotion over the past few days; everything and anything could bring you to tears.

“I wouldn’t have been able to do it.” Joe said, smiling too. “I was already sort of head over heels if I’m honest. You were determined for two, I think.”

That had made you burst into actual sobs.

The last hour of giving birth, you’d cried non-stop. A weird silent steady leaking of water from your eyes as you struggled through the delivery. Joe guessed it was the pain – had to be, because, what the fuck was even going on? How the fuck had nature decided that this was meant to be normal? But then finally, when soft baby cries filled the room, one of the nurses said, “You’re there, you’re done. Relax, we’ll take it from here.” He’d realized then that it they were tears of exhaustion over anything else.

You’d been going for hours, and then your blood pressure did something funny after the placenta got removed, so now they wanted to keep you for a bit, which was scary. But going home with a newborn sounded even scarier, if he was honest... so he wasn’t going to complain about how uncomfortable his chair was.

Or how tired he felt.

He’d been going for hours too, but his tired was different from your tired. He could feel it in his bones, sure, but it was easy to keep his eyes open. Easy to keep staring at her. Easy to do jobs whenever someone asked him to do one.

“Mum’s done. Now, dad, come here. Pay attention.” 

And he has not been able to stop paying attention yet. He’s listening to your breathing, paying close attention to the rhythm because you’re the priority after all that’s happened. Yet he can’t keep his eyes off of his baby.

There’s a baby next to your bed.

The one he watched you gave birth to.

Your baby.

His baby.

He thumbs another tear from the corner of his eye before it leaves a wet trail down his face and uses his sleeve to dry both his eyes as he pushes his nose into his elbow for a second, not letting go of your ankle.

Life is ridiculous.

He still feels emotional over seeing you scream and cry, in pain and all sweaty. You’d performed a miracle, but it was no fun to witness how difficult the whole thing was on you. Had he not already convinced you to be with him, he would have started that quest today and would’ve likely never stopped.

When he blinks his eyes back into focus, it’s to you stirring in the white sheets of your hospital bed.

He freezes.

Maybe if he holds his breath and doesn’t make a single noise, you won’t wake up. He’s not sure how easy it’ll be to fall back asleep if you pull from your unconscious state completely. He wasn’t there when it happened – had gotten hauled off to help wash and dress his baby (the tiniest clothes he’d ever seen still too big on her, he was pouring tears as he tried to put the socks on and hated how you weren’t there to see it) – but he was informed that you lost a lot of blood and needed a lot of stitching.

After going through all of that, you’d needed stitching.

Your baby had been taken to get cleaned up, and you’d told Joe to go with her. To watch her. To stay with her and to not lose her out of his sight.

He’d listened.

Knew better than to tell you no.

But then you were left on your own, and you’d needed stitching.

You can’t move without wincing now, and Joe could probably jog home if he really wanted to. How is that fair?

Joe holds his breath, and watches you stretch your spine in your sleep before you relax again.

But then suddenly, your slow movements turn jumpy as you jolt awake with a gasp. It makes Joe jump almost just as much, and he narrowly avoids your knee to his face.

He watches you wince in pain, clearly uncomfortable, but then you immediately sink back into the mattress when your eyes find the clear plastic baby bed that holds your child, and you release a relieved breath.

“My God,” Joe whispers, already humoured by what just happened. “She’s still here, calm down.”

“Sorry,” you croak, curling a hand around the edge of the hard plastic and Joe watches your knuckles go white.

“You okay?” Joe’s already up on his feet, hand on your face to wipe your hair back.

With your eyes still closed and head slumped to the side, you softly answer, “Hmm. My vagina hurts.”

“Yea, of course.” Joe nods, unable to look at you without all the sympathy in the world displayed on his forehead. “Do you need anything for the pain?”

“I need to pee, but I don’t want to. It’s already burning.”

“I’ll go get someone.”

“Please.”

Joe gets a nurse in, and he helps you get out of the bed before you’re helped over to the toilet. Not before you tell Joe to watch her. Watch the baby.

“I’ll keep an eye,” Joe says, because he’s already found it’s his new favourite thing to do. To stare at her. “Go pee.”

The door to the bathroom is left open, and Joe listens to your conversation as he does as he’s told.

It’s a lot of, “Careful, mum. Careful. Slow movements.” coming from her, and a lot of hissing in between your teeth from you. A lot of, “Is this normal?” questions coming from you, and a lot of “If you feel this, it’s probably for this reason, which is totally normal.” answers from the nurse.

Joe gets the room and the fresh new little person all to himself for a second, and he leans all the way over your bed, feet still on the floor, his head resting in both hands as he slowly blinks at what you’ve created together.

He can’t get over how you’ve made this.

Two people have just gone and accidentally made a whole new person... it’s legitimately insane, Joe thinks.

The peeing takes longer than Joe thought it would take. He doesn’t blame you for taking your time, but he hopes that you figure out how to do it without being in pain or needing any help before you get to go home.

Joe hears a shocked gasp coming from you before you softly ask, “That’s a lot of blood. Is that a lot of blood?” followed by a toilet flushing and a reassuring, “Absolutely totally normal. Don’t worry.”

Baby is still asleep. Soundly and so peacefully, small tiny nose doing a perfect job at breathing, Joe’s already so proud of her it’s stupid.

“Well done, mum! First bathroom visit!” the nurse claps her hands together and laughs when you give a sarcastic yay in faux celebration.

You’re miserable, but Joe can hear your smile through everything and it makes his heart swell even more with pride. For you. For urinating. He’s proud because you peed, what the hell.

He shares his first secret smile with his daughter. “Mummy peed!”

You get helped back into your underwear and joggers, and Joe lets his view distract him enough that he almost doesn’t hear what you ask just before you step back into the room.

“Six weeks before sex, right?”

You’re joking, but Joe hears the serious confusion when the nurse asks, “Oh, have you not been talked through—”

“We have. Don’t listen to her.” Joe interrupts, and when he looks over his shoulder to see you shuffle back over to the bed, he catches the cheeky smile you’re trying to hide.

Before he can say anything else about how he’ll have you wait twelve weeks if you keep bringing it up, he catches your eyes flash in pain, just from your small shuffling steps, and he’s up in an instant. Pushes himself from your bed and turns to place both hands under your arms to make sure you’re safe and supported.

You hold onto him like a lifeline and pause in place for a moment.

God, the labour is done. Can you have a single second without any uncomfortable sharp pulling down there? Jesus.

You don’t see how Joe and the nurse share a look over your shoulder. The nurse is smiling at him, and Joe gives her a tired shake of his head as he rolls his eyes, quietly communicating that the girl he’s chosen to have a baby with is an actual menace.

“Maybe eight weeks?” Joe carefully jokes, hoping it’ll get you to laugh and forget about how sore you’re feeling for a second. Instead you just sigh and go, “Yea, maybe.”

You’re helped back into bed by four hands, shuffle slowly into position and leave enough room for Joe to join you.

You’re sore and tired and in a weird emotional state, and it’s simply much nicer to be all of those things squeezed tightly up against him. Joe knows to curl into you with his whole body and lays an arm over your pillow for you to place your head on. It gives the both of you the perfect view of your baby.

Your baby.

You feel a flash of want for her. To have her in your arms. Against your chest. To hold and hug and keep her close. But she’s asleep and you’re not quite sure what to do when she wakes up. What if she cries and you can’t get her to stop? This is safer.

You can both just watch her.

“I’ll be back in thirty minutes,” the nurse says after checking a file, and you ask, “To help me feed her?”

The nurse smiles, says, “Yea sure, that too.” and leaves.

You make a funny face, confused, and look at Joe like you think she was being rude.

“To check on you.” Joe softly says, and your face drops immediately.

“Oh. Yea. But I feel fine, now.” your focus is barely on yourself. There’s this whole other brand new human to be worried about.

“Hmm. Okay. Think you can sneak a little more sleep before she’s back?”

“Probably not.” you say, but Joe sees how you close your eyes anyway. Feels how you carefully move your hips back a little to feel more of Joe against your body. Feels how you grab onto his arm and firmly press it into your stomach that’s still big and round, but all soft and squishy now.

“Can you try?” Joe whispers, lips touching the shell of your ear.

“Will you watch her?” you’re already sinking away. Joe’s body heat is pulling you under quicker than he’d anticipated.

“Of course I will,” Joe says, but lies, and watches you for a moment instead. You’re his priority. Thinks it’s silly how you wouldn’t accept that if he told you. “I’ll watch her.” he confirms, not lying then, because he’s talking to his daughter as he says it.

Joe watches you until he feels you drop of the deep end. Feels you relax in a way he’s not felt you relax in ages.

After a while Joe repeats, “I’ll watch her.” in a barely-there whisper before he places a barely-there kiss against your cheek as you sleep.

His gaze moves back to the small baby girl in the room, and Joe’s eyes immediately well up again.

It’s stupid how even just the sight of her feels new and unexpected again. Like he’s seeing her for the first time once more.

And he simply finds that, once again, it’s so easy to stare.

Finds he can’t stop staring.

“Yea, I’ll keep an eye,” Joe whispers to himself. Thumbs another tear from his inner corner before it can run down his face and bother you.

“I’ll keep an eye.”

---

The Taglisted

@alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @demonsanddemogorgons

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@everythinghasafacee, @ferfan14, @figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @gri959

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@kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @mandyjo8719, @mexicanfolklore, @munsonluvrr

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@sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow

@witchwolflea, @yunirgo

add yourself

[confinesofmy]

soo crazy how after about a year and a half of leaning heavy on my family because my mom died and i was falling apart i am now pretty sick of the majority of them lol. like i finally fell in with them properly because the circumstances were right for it and uhhh turns out they're bad. can't stand em. lowkey. not good people, like for OTHER people they're not. but also me personally they're not good for me to be around. so now i know lol. 😵‍💫

[fadedin2u]

christmas shopping

MDNI 18+

summary: you go christmas shopping with ellie and things get heated in the victoria’s secret dressing room.

content/tw: afab!reader, fem!reader, nsfw, ass eating(r!receiving), cunnilingus(r!receiving), dom!ellie, sub!reader, sub!ellie for 2 seconds if u squint

notes: i can’t remember who wrote it, but someone wrote a fic about ellie fucking you in a dressing room and i needed to do my own take on it (btw this is barely proofread so sorry for any errors!)

you pick up a pink, lacy bra, checking to see if it's your size.

"els, isn't this so adorable?" you ask your girlfriend, turning around to gauge her reaction to the undergarment.

ellie has both hands full of the bags from previous stores you visited before coming into victoria’s secret. she was a great sport at first, thrilled to go christmas shopping with you, but you can tell that after hours of carrying around your shit and trailing after you like a baby duckling, she’s lost some of that enthusiasm.

“super adorable babe. wanna take it up to the cash register?” ellie suggests, trying desperately not to act as impatient as she feels.

you suddenly feel a little bad for making ellie watch you shop for so long, and you think for a moment before deciding to take pity on her in a much more amusing way than she could anticipate.

you pick up a few more panties and bras and start walking towards the dressing rooms.

“i just need to try these on first, i would hate to buy them and have to return them just because they don’t fit right.”

you look back at ellie, still standing in the place you left her with an exhausted look on her face.

“you coming?” you ask, smirking just a bit.

ellie perks up at that, realizing what you’re offering.

“fucking obviously” ellie says, walking quickly into the dressing room with you. she sets your bags down on the floor of the small dressing room, sitting on the bench.

“is this my reward for being your dutiful servant all day?” ellie asks as you shut the door and start stripping.

you roll your eyes, giggling, “no, your reward will come later tonight. this is just to hold you over.”

ellie’s eyes are locked on you as you remove your bra and panties, slipping on a pair of cheeky panties that match the pink, lacy bra you picked earlier. the underwear fit your body beautifully, which you’re secretly very thankful about.

you put the bra on and turn your back towards ellie, “can you do this up?”

ellie blinks a few times, knocked out of the stupor she was in, staring unabashedly at your ass.

“i’d prefer to be taking more clothes off of you, but sure,” ellie teases, doing up the back of your bra.

you look at yourself in the mirror, happy with the way the bra cups and shapes your breasts. clearly, so is ellie.

“god damn-“ ellie hands snake around your body to squeeze and cup your tits through the bra, her head resting on your shoulder to watch her groping you in the mirror, “i’m buying this shit for you asap. you look fucking criminal-“

you smirk a little to yourself, leaning back against ellie as she grinds her front against your ass, hearing her little grunts in your ear.

ellie starts kissing up your neck, one hand squeezing your tit with the other wrapped in front of your body to keep you in place as she ruts against you.

“please let me eat you out, baby, i’ll be so fucking good for the rest of this shopping trip- i’ll shop for 3 more fucking hours if you let me, just-“

you giggle, cutting her off. “go ahead. i knew what i was doing when i brought you in here.”

that’s all that ellie needs before pushing you up against the dressing room wall, gripping your ass as she kisses down your spine.

she drops to her knees, eye level with your ass as she squeezes the flesh there, kneading it through the underwear you tried on.

ellie can’t resist but press her face into your ass, moaning as she licks the lace fabric covering it.

“jesus fucking christ-“ ellie says before slapping your ass, breathing heavily as she watches the chub recoil and jiggle. you yelp a little, surprised

“i’m gonna fuck you up,” ellie says before pulling your underwear down.

“bend the fuck over, let me see that ass, baby. fucking present yourself to me,” ellie says, her voice slightly raspy as she slaps your ass again.

your cheeks are hot as you obey, arching your back as you bend over, your arms braced against the dressing room wall.

ellie wastes no time before eating it from the back, licking a fat stripe up your pussy.

“you’re fucking unreal-“ she whispers before pressing her face fully into you, groaning as she sticks her tongue down your entrance and bring it back to circle your clit.

you moan softly, your breath already shaky as she eats you out hungrily, nearly frantically. the sounds from ellie’s mouth, her slurping and lapping, is way too loud for these dressing rooms, but you can’t find it within yourself to give a shit right now.

ellie bring a hand around your hips to circle your clit with her middle finger, pulling her face back to admire your ass for a second.

“can i eat your ass, baby?” ellie asks, her voice hoarse and wrecked.

your eyes widen, looking back at ellie, “a-are you sure you want-“

“i fucking want to.” ellie says firmly, her eyes focused on your pussy and asshole.

you laugh a little, “sure, go ahead.”

you’re not laughing for very long before she licks a long strip from your clit to your asshole, circling her tongue around the ring of muscle.

you’re genuinely shocked at how good it feels, your hesitancy quickly melting away back into desperate need, “fuck-“

ellie laughs a little this time, “like that baby?”, continuing to lap you up and barely pressing her tongue past the ring of muscle as she moves the finger on your clit faster.

you’re wrecked, your face pressed into the wall pathetically, your legs shaking.

ellie brings the other hand that was gripping your ass down to your pussy, sliding in two fingers without warning.

“you take me so fucking well, baby, look at that-“ ellie says, watching her fingers pump out of you for a moment before going back to eat your ass, groaning into you as both hands work your pussy.

you moan and stuff your hand in your mouth to muffle it as you your hips jerk a little. ellie slips in a third finger.

“it’s okay, sweetheart- i got you-“ ellie in between laps of her tongue, “cum for me, fucking cum for me-“

you were going to anyways, but it’s great timing. ellie’s mouth and fingers launch you over the edge, pathetic whimpers muffled by your fist as your legs shake harder, heady pleasure rushing through your body.

when you come down, your legs nearly crumple, but she keeps a tight grip on your hips, keeping you up.

you pant heavily, face still smushed against the dressing room wall.

ellie laughs a little to herself, kissing your spine. “fuck… i’m gonna need to buy this fucking lingerie for you, aren’t i?”

[barcaatthemoon]

the truth || jenni hermoso x reader ||

on a night out with the team, the truth comes out about your breakup with jenni.

you didn't know where to look. the room felt so tense to you. it was like every few seconds your eyes drifted over to where jenni was drinking with alexia, mapi, and leila. you had left barcelona first, so that was on you. afterwards, jenni ran away to mexico, which was much further away than you were in germany. however, you had left first, which meant everybody blamed you for the way things happened.

jenni swore up and down that she had left barcelona for reasons unrelated to you, but everybody knew that was bullshit. a drunken voicemail you had yet to delete was all the evidence you needed to call jenni a liar. apparently, your national squad teammates didn't even need to know about voicemail to push the blame on you. now, you felt like you were an outcast in the group that had once been your family.

"another please," you said to the bartender as he walked your way. the club was packed full of people in your team's circle. friends and girlfriends, including jenni's new one from mexico. she had found somebody to move on with, but you hadn't been able to get your mind off of her.

technically, the breakup had been her fault. she was the one who had come to you saying that it was a bad idea. jenni had rattled off reason after reason as to why you couldn't be together anymore. all the while, you had fiddled with the engagement ring in your pocket. you waited patiently until jenni's tirade was finished, ignoring the smell of alcohol on her breath as she ranted on and on. once that was over, you had taken the ring out of your pocket and handed it to her unceremoniously.

jenni had tried contacting you for two weeks before she gave up. the ring found its way back to you through alexia the same day that you had elected not to renew your barcelona contract. she looked disappointed, but you wondered what story jenni had spun for her. you wondered what jenni even remembered from that night because from the way that she acted, you doubted she realized who instigated the fight in the first place.

"how many have you had?" even in your drunken state, alexia's stern tone was unmistakable. you turned towards her with your new drink in hand, but once you lost the support of the bar, you nearly fell forward. alexia plucked the drink out of your hand as she caught you.

"hey, that's mine," you slurred. alexia cursed under her breath as she pulled you onto your feet. you tried reaching for your drink, nearly causing the both of you to tumble to the floor. alexia caught herself, but dropped you onto the ground in the process. you hit the ground with a heavy thud, seemingly unbothered about laying in a puddle of your spilled drink. however, you were very upset about your drink.

"jesus christ," alexia swore as you broke out into a fit of tears. she tried to pull you up onto your feet, but it was no use. you weren't moving because you didn't want to. "(y/n), get up. come on, you're making a scene."

"leave me here, it's not like any of you like me anymore." you knew that you were acting like a child, but you couldn't help it. the floodgates had opened up and everything was spilling out. alexia sighed as she motioned a couple of the more sober girls over to help her pick you up. they all managed to get you out of the club together, which had not been an easy task.

"i've never seen her like this before," you heard one of them say quietly. they all stood behind you as you sat on a bench. you could hear them, every single word as they went on and on like you weren't there.

"you don't think this is because of jenni, do you?" you were pretty sure that one was leila. alexia sighed as she looked at you, very obviously a shell of your former self. if any of them had been paying attention to you, they all would have noticed the ways that you had been changing.

"i don't know, but i'm going to get her back to the hotel. please keep an eye on jenni for me," alexia told them. she scooped you up as she helped you onto your feet, the two of you stumbling down the sidewalk together towards your team's hotel. "what happened (y/n)?"

"i drank," you muttered quietly. alexia wondered if you indulged like this often. you had been playing well at your club, but you'd been a bit sluggish during the practices earlier in the week. your name had gone from the starting xi to the reserves quickly. if you weren't careful, they'd take your name off of the roster completely. although, as alexia half-carried you, she wondered if maybe that was what you wanted.

"how much do you usually drink?" alexia asked. she was afraid of the answer. you had once been like a little sister to her, and maybe she had let her closeness with jenni distract her from the fact that she cared about you too. most of the team had followed suit and iced out the younger player because of the obvious pain that their star striker was in.

"until i don't remember anymore," you admitted. "it never works. i always remember what she said to me."

"what who said?" alexia knew the answer already. she had picked up the pieces of jenni the morning after. jenni hadn't completely opened up, but she didn't remember everything. all jenni had known that morning was that the two of you had fought and you threw a ring at her, claiming you couldn't believe you almost let yourself propose.

"jenni. i love her, and she hurt me. you don't hurt someone you love like that." you dropped down onto your knees on the sidewalk. alexia struggled to get you back up to your feet after that. she opted for not hurting herself trying to take care of you and decided to call a couple of teammates to come and get you. she had expected mapi and leila to join her, and they had shown up, but with the addition of jenni.

"oh, mi amor," jenni sighed as she saw the sight of you. internally, you were battling between running from her and running right into her arms. the part of you that wanted her won out first, and you found yourself crawling on the sidewalk towards her. your other teammates frowned at the sight, never having seen you like that for anybody. jenni knelt down and opened her arms, unable to deny you anything in the moment.

"they hate me, it's awful," you cried into her arms. jenni wrapped her arms around you as she held you. "they all hate me because you left. they think you left because i did, but i only left because you didn't want me anymore. i want you so bad it hurts, but you don't love me anymore. i want to hate you, but the only person i can hate is myself. it makes me so angry."

"i'm sorry," jenni apologized. she looked around at her teammates for help, but none of them were sure what to do. she pulled you up to your feet and handed you off to alexia and leila. they got you back to the hotel and safely tucked into mapi's bed for the night.

"jenni, who broke up with who?" mapi asked as she glanced down at her younger teammate. everybody had a few reservations whenever jenni announced to the team that the two of you were together, but they never could have imagined it go as badly as it had.

"i-i think i broke up with her. i don't really know, it's all kind of fuzzy," jenni admitted. mapi's face hardened with a look of anger. jenni knew that whatever came her way was deserved, it had been a few months coming at this point. "i wanted to make up with her, but she wouldn't talk to me. after our fight, all she said was that she was going to germany."

"for (y/n)'s sake, and yours, fix this," mapi ordered. jenni knew that she really did need to figure out a way to do that, but she had no idea where to even begin. you avoided her at all costs, and there was a good chance that a few of the younger players would keep jenni from you on their own. they may have followed in the elder players' footsteps, but leaving you behind had not been an easy decision for any of them.

[55sturn]

https://www.tumblr.com/55sturn/750063603824181248/send-in-blurbsrequests-for-a-concept-night-im

what do you think fights with chris would be like ? what starts them and how they get solved ?

this can go one of two ways

1. he’s had a bad day and is incredibly overstimulated, [ i don’t think chris would mean what he says, but when a person is overstimulated, they lash out unintentionally ]

“jesus christ, please just stop talking, i cant take how annoying you’re being.” chris snaps, he’s fidgety, almost as if he skin is vibrating with nerves that are going haywire and his voice rough and direct as he looks at you, his anger and resolve withering away at the sigh of your shocked, slightly hurt face.

he hadn’t mean to snap, or sound so harsh, but his thoughts were going a mile a second and ricocheting off his skull and he couldn’t catch up with them, and paired with your slight frustration made his emotions run high.

“y/n-“ he starts, the words forming on his tongue but he can’t get them out, he has never wanted you to be the target of his misplaced frustration and your name comes out strained, and he sounds defeated.

“go take a shower, or just some time to cool down. you’re obviously on edge, we’ll talk when you’ve calmed down, promise.” you whisper, removing yourself from the situation to let him have some breathing room.

but almost in the blink of an eye, he’s crawling on top of you as you on the couch and tucking his head in the space between your neck and jaw, mumbling jumbled apologies and is nearly in tears over how badly he needs you to know that he’s sorry and wants to make sure you’re okay.

and you’re running your fingers through his hair as he lifts his head, watching your face as you tell him that you’re fine but you need to know when he needs a breather so that things like that don’t happen.

2. leaving important details out in favour of the other person’s feelings and the other takes it the wrong way. [ ie: miscommunication ]

chris has mentioned he was going to a party with nick and matt to film some content as an indirect collab, but what he had failed to mention was who was throwing the party, and you felt hurt by this.

the party chris was going to, was being thrown by a girl he had been with for a while, but he had called things off months before getting with you. however, what made things hurt the most was the fact that everyone who knew of her “relationship” with chris, sung the highest praises about her. chris himself had nothing bad to say about her.

sometimes, the way he would talk about her if asked, it made you think that maybe there was still some lingering feelings floating about. and it didn’t help that the two of you had been having issues communicating things properly for the last few weeks, and for chris to go ghost at this party after leaving out vital information, whether intentionally or not, it set you off. and it hurt you. so when he came back home to an empty bed, he was confused. instead of replying back to your clearly upset texts, he made his way to your place, and let himself in with the spare key that you had gifted him on your seven month anniversary. as he found you curled up in bed, a stoic look on your face, he couldn’t help but scoff to himself.

“so instead of talking adults, you decided to just fuck off and not let me know?” he spits, his arms crossed as he leans against your door framed, sighing as your gaze on your tv had reminded unwavering as you shrugged.

“you didn’t tell me who threw that party, so i didn’t tell you where i was going and clearly it didn’t cause you much trouble because you found me.”

“so that’s what this hissy fit is about?”

“oh my god chris, if you’re going to act like this, please just leave. we’ll talk when we’re not angry with one another.”

“no y/n, we’re going to talk about it now. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you that she was throwing the party, but honestly i didn’t think it mattered because she doesn’t matter anymore and i didn’t want you to overthink anything.” he sighs as he sits on your bed, his head in hands as you cross your arms.

“chris have you ever stopped to try and think about why i would overthink about that shit? have you heard the way you and everyone else talk about her? it’s like she hung the fucking moon! i know you’re with me but feelings don’t just disappear when you snap your fingers. everyone talks about how good she was for you and to you, i feel like i can’t compete with that. it makes me sick to think of you around her because she’s set this standard and i don’t know if i measure up to it. and i get scared that i’m not enough and that you’ll find your way back to her because of it.” i love you so unbelievably much, and i just want to be good for you and to you.” you vent, your voice starting out strong and dignified, but just like your guard, it slowly crumbles and depletes into nothing but a scary, shaky whisper of vulnerability. you’re baring your soul, and it terrifies you as you turn your back to him, trying to form some sort of shield to save yourself from the raw emotion of the topic at hand.

chris lifts himself off the bed, sitting himself on knees in front of you with his hands wrapping behind your knees, anchoring you in place so that you have no choice but to look at him, unable to hide from the truth to what he says that shows in his eyes,

“baby, you are everything i want and more. i don’t give a fuck about her, not in the ways that matter. i come home to you every night and i want it to stay like that, i left the party because i missed you. i came back because things have been so rocky between us and i knew something was up, and i knew that i had been wrong to hide that she was throwing the party from you. i chose you tonight, and i’ll do it for the rest of my life. i’m sorry that i made you feel like this, and i understand what my actions did, and i’m sorry for that too. i love you, okay?”

“okay, i love you too.”

[nerdragenewvegas]

Fallout is in an alternative timeline and these are real life celebrities I firmly believe I'm justified in saying were alive and existed in the immediate pre-great war period.

This is 100% triggered by someone getting weird in my Ao3 comments about if my fic conflicts with canon or not and like, babes, it's a reader x cooper howard fic, it conflicts with canon by nature of the reader character existing lol but I digress.

In Fallout New Vegas, Jane Russell and Marilyn Monroe are implied to have been alive in the period before the bombs dropped as House basically copied their personalities etc over to Securitons. (I know the Marilyn-bot was cut from the game in the end due to issues with licensing her image, but she was left in there enough to be restored by modders pretty easily, she was even depicted in the special edition card set, so I consider her canon on basis of intent.) Additionally, Mr House is pretty obviously based on Howard Hughes, who famously had a very close relationship with Jane Russell (it was heavily speculated that they had a romantic relationship but there's never been any confirmation) which adds to the idea that he was able to replicate her personality so well because he literally knew her.

There’s evidence that Frank Sinatra existed in a close enough period to be in House’s immediate memory. The Tops is 100% based on the Sands Casino of Rat Pack/Frank Sinatra fame, was handed over by house to a gang that he christened The Chairmen — Frank Sinatra’s nickname was ‘The Chairman of the Board.’ The stylisation and culture of the gang that House enforced is dead set Rat Pack shit.

The Rad Pack, a blatant take on the Rat Pack, exist. I know that metacontextually, this is just a cute easter egg (I mean, these all could be waved off as that, but we're having fun here.) This implies that enough Rat Pack media survived the war to inspire the Rad Pack to pick the punny name for their act.

The entire Elvis school that The Kings occupy. Honestly, The Kings in general. C'mon.

The radio, obviously. Now, I know you can argue that the reason everyone knows who made the music and who the artists were is just because only LPs and LP players survived the war and it isn't an indicator that those artists weren't already long dead and buried by 2077, but if that were the case, why do we not have any new music on holotapes? Why is new music so scarce? You're telling me that Mr House could build Mr New Vegas, the AI DJ Bot, and not have music all the way up to 2077 backed up and stored? No. I call bullshit. These were recent releases in 2077 and you can fucking fight me about it.

So, based on all of this, I don't think it's a reach to believe that in the already alternate Fallout timeline, all these celebrities just... existed a little bit later and that pop culture got shifted forward a bit. Just have fun with the fucking thing, jesus christ, it's not real.

[bugboysgf]

Find Our Way

Jack and y/n go to highschool together. Will having the same dreams make them find their way to each other? *if this does well it will be a series (also didnt edit this sorry for the mistakes)*

“You pass on this side, I do the other side.” Jack told urban. He was having his first show in louisville and he wanted the whole school to come. Obviously he knew nobody was really going to come but it was worth a shot. He was a nobody he wasnt famous or really well known but he knew this was the only way to get his name out.

“Got it.” Urban said he started passing the flyers out to everybody. “Hey you” you turned around to look at Urban. You had your cheer outfit on because you had a game later today.

“Hi?” you looked urban confused. He never really talked to you before and you were confused as to why he was today.

“Come to this after the game.” He handed you the flier. You look at it and realize it was Jack that was performing.

“Its today”

“Right.”

“Only a one day notice?” you raised your eyebrow at him.

“Welp don't come then.” he shrugged his shoulders then left. You rolled your eyes at his attitude.

“You're coming with me,” you told your friend.

“I'm not. You're the one with a crush on jack. I don't get it, just befriend him.”

“I can't do that.” you said

“Why not. It's not like he's gonna say no you're a triple threat you can sing, act and cheer. Plus actors and singers go together.”

“I don't think it counts being in one commercial”

“You guys basically have the same dreams just try y/n.”

—

“Can't believe I decided to go with you.” your friend rolled her eyes.

“I can.” you smiled “come on”. You notice most of the people were Jack's friends. There were only about 10 people there counting you and your friends. Your friend excuses herself to go grab a water.

“You came.” Urban said, walking up to you. “I'm not surprised.”

“Why is that?” you ask, confused. “I see how you are looking at my boy jack. It's so obvious.” you scoff and acting like you didn't know what he was talking about

“I look at everybody I have eyes.”

“Yea right.”

“Look, I just came to support. I know how hard it is to make it big.”

“Oh I forgot your little actor. I saw the commercial Jack did too.” he teased. Suddenly you felt embarrassed had everybody at the school seen it? The only person you cared that saw it was jack. What did he think about it?

“Don't feel embarrassed he thought it was cute.” Urban said with a smile. “Hey everyone.” you and urban people turn your attention to jack. Right as he was about to start jade finally came back with two waters in her hand. She handed you one and kept one to herself.

—

“So did you like it?”

“Yeah white boy did alright.” jade shrugged.

“Stop calling him that.” as you were about to leave you heard somebody calling your name.

You turned around and realized it was urban with jack. Shit now you have to talk to him.

You walked over to them and every step you took your heart started beating faster.

“Hi Jack,” you smiled shyly at him.

“Hey, what's up?”

“Imma go do something bye.” Urban excuses himself. This dickhead set me up, you thought to yourself

“Ummm you did really well tonight.”

“You know my songs.”

“What?” you asked confused. “You know my songs.” he said once again. “I saw you in the crowd singing along. Shit you were caught. Once you have a crush on a person you always want to know everything about them. So one night you went on youtube and looked at jacks videos.

“Oh yea.” you smiled.

“I saw your commercial.” Why does everybody bring up the commercial Jesus christ. “You did a good job. You wanna be an actor?”

“Yup hoping a make it big, i'm trying to get more jobs but my agent is telling me to-”

“You have an agent?” Jack asked, shocked.

“Oh yea i got signed like 2 months ago.”

“Damn your the shit then.” Jack smiled. You looked at his blue eyes and just couldn't stop looking. He had you memorized by him.

“Yea i guess so.” you laughed.

“I might have also heard you singing in the school musical. You're really good. We should make a song together or do a cover if you're down.”

“I'm down.”

“Well see you around princess.” he said walking away. You tried to hide a smile but you couldn't.

The whole night the word princess was replaying in your head.

[riddleredcoats]

Dragon Age: Absolution

Naturally, I binged it, lmao.

Spoilers below!

I really did like the show, I think they had a good plot and an interesting story to tell! I do think they could have benefited for a longer build up tho, like maybe another episode between 1 and 2, to show us the journey and maybe build the relationship between Miriam and Hira. (More on them later.)

I do love all the lore we got. We already kinda suspected - or straight up knew? - that Solas was a spirit of wisdom, but it only seemed to confirm it. There is the implication of a connection between Dragons and Qunari, as we already knew. Tevinter fucking sucks, which we already knew. But there are very fun Lore tidbits here and there.

First, m'boy, my love... Fairbanks, brother, what did they do to you? I knew you were good the whole time, I never doubted it! But you had me worried for a lil bit. At least, my Orlesian boys are all good, so it's fine, it's cool. Even if one is dead 😭😭😭

Tassia was kinda of a underdog standout for me. I like her VA and she seemed genuinely sympathetic. She's not my fav, but they did interesting things with her. Or maybe I just like a woman with a huge hammer... it could be it, tbh. Her loverboy - who is the main villain, ye, but like... he's fine? He's an entitled jerk who thinks he can own people. Okay. Seen it, heard it, moving on.

Rolland and Lacklan are so stinking cute! I love the, adore them, no notes. Rolland is my fav of the two, but he's Orlesian so that was to be expected if you know me, lmaoo. Lacklan, however, grew on me a lot. I love them together, they are super cute.

Qwydion.... I've only had her for about 8hrs, but if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

I liked Miriam and Neb - yes, I am putting him here and not with the Asshole™️ because he deserves better - and I really liked what they did with their relationship to Asshole™️. There was never any doubt in Neb's mind on what to do; what Miriam felt - that ignominious sting of slavery - was exactly the same way he did, and that was not only so validating but also so beautiful to see. Miriam is obviously a traumatized woman, but I love how she rose and stopped running. There is something really beautiful there too, especially in the way she acted towards that little girl; when she was running, she hurt other people, when she stopped, she saw to it that she would help.

Hira was... alright? Probably my least favourite character besides The Asshole™️. I had bad vibes from the beginning, there was a music cue when she appeared that left me very suspicious.

Which leads me to... Bioware, once again, doing the WLW betrayal and honestly? While the others - Leli/Marjolaine and Celene/Briala - were bad, they were kinda forgivable with context and some understanding of the setting. This one tho? This one? Jesus Christ. Miriam, babe, she tried to send you back into slavery and you want to get back together? Listen, I am the Queen of Problematic WLW ships, I will be the first to tell you. But this one? Ooof.

The final twist tho? fjlkdsafjlasda I cannot believe- Meredith Fucking Stannard, in the year of our lord 2022? It's more likely than you think

Seems like they set up for a Sequel. I hope they get it tbh, it was very fun!

[rad-rat-with-a-tophat]

day 7 of @thetheatergremlin's boyf riends week

this is also late, but i went and saw Jesus Christ Superstar yesterday so no regrets.

youtuber/streamer au

Christine isn't blind, okay? Sure, she may not experience romantic attraction herself, but she's watched enough musicals to know when someone is in love. Especially if that someone is her best friend.

The best friend in question was her roommate Jeremy.

For the past six months (half a year!), Jeremy had been watching one thing, or person as a matter of fact, a gaming streamer on Twitch that went by the name, gaymer_extraordinaire.

Now even though Christine was obviously not an expert in romance, when your roommate and best friend of five years becomes more of a blushing and stuttering mess than usual whenever she brought up a certain streamer, it's pretty clear they have a crush.

Sadly, Christine never managed to interrogate Jeremy about this because for some reason, whenever Christine was home from one of her many clubs and activities, he conveniently wasn't in their apartment!

It had been an entire month of Jeremy evading her attempts by stumbling over himself into his room or outside their apartment and Christine had had enough!

And so, she was going to instead find this gaymer_extraordinaire and drag him all the way to Jeremy to get answers from her best friend.

Christine was making this plan as she was heading home from the 10-12 year old improv class she taught at the local rec center (they didn't have the most acting talent but boy were they passionate!).

She was taking the elevator up to the third floor, humming a little tune to herself, and just merrily strolling along!

And as she entered what did she see, but her roommate, Jeremiah Heere, socially awkward, disaster bisexual himself! Blushing and giggling, and almost about to kiss a tan guy, dark-haired guy, with a red hoodie and glasses across their kitchen counter!

"Jeremy!" She gasped, the two boys leaping apart, Jeremy tumbling to floor, "Give a girl a warning before you bring a man into our house!" She says in mock outrage. "No offense to you of course!" She says to the guy sitting in their kitchen, facing turning red.

The guy shakes himself from his stupor and walks over to Christine, awkwardly holding out a hand, "Uh, hi? My name's Michael,"

Christine's jaw dropped, she knew that voice!

"Oh my gosh! You're the streamer Jeremy is in love with?!" She shouted, "Oh wait, I should introduce myself. Hi! I'm Christine, Jeremy's roommate! Nice to meet you!" She said, taking Michael's hand and shaking it furiously. Turning to look down on Jeremy, who was still on the floor, "So this is why you've been avoiding me asking about you only watching his streams for the past six months?" She asked, grinning at Jeremy's blush. "Knew it!"

Jeremy managed to pull himself up from the floor, and gestured between Michael and Christine, "Michael, this is Christine, my best friend and roommate. Christine, this is my boyfriend Michael,"

Christine turned to Jeremy, practically quivering with excitement and curiosity, "Aww, you got a boyfriend! How long have you two been together?" Jeremy took a glance at her mile-wide grin that hid the barest traces of being a smirk and placed his head into his hands, groaning. Michael saw this and turned to Christine, "We've been friends for five months and dating for one,"

"That's adorable! But just so you know if I find out you've hurt Jeremy in any way I will make sure no one ever sees you again and use your skull as Yorick's in a high school production of Hamlet!" She threatened, smile still bright as the sun.

Michael looked slightly paler and nodded, "Yup! Understood!"

Christine nodded back and looked at Jeremy, "Oh no! I just forgot something at the rec center!" She said, not even trying to hide the fact that she was lying.

"I hate my life," He groaned.

Christine and Michael started cackling as she left the building, deciding to visit Jenna for a while.

[hellsbellschime]

What was Phoebe replying to...?

Jesus Christ, so I'm going to try to Cliff's Notes this absurdly long and involved fandom shit that took place over the course of literally like 5 years into a few paragraphs so bear with me, but when I first started tumblr I was a TVD blog, Klaus/the Originals were my favorite characters, they wound up getting their own spinoff, and Phoebe was the leading actor on that spinoff.

Personally, I didn't think Phoebe was a very good actor, I still don't think she's a very good actor, and I said that. I organized my blog then like I do now, i.e. I used my own tags for everything to keep them out of the main tags, so in order to see my content you'd have to follow me or look it up, and unsurprisingly I didn't think that any of the ACTUAL CAST MEMBERS of the shows that I talked about were going out of their way to read what I said, and apparently I was wrong. I honestly don't even remember what she was replying to because I don't think it was anything specific, I think she had just been reading what I said for a long time and finally got annoyed enough to tweet at me directly.

Ironically, my friends actually took that screenshot that those people keep on reposting because they figured she would do a tweet and delete and they were right, and because it was (IMHO pretty rightfully) seen as an attempt to basically get a ton of people to harass me because I thought she was a bad actor. So while these randos are trying to twist that into evidence that I harassed her so badly that she finally called me out, it was essentially the opposite, and it caused a bit of a fandom blow up because a lot of people were like "hey you're sending hate towards a specific person who has never spoken to you and that's effed" and so she tweeted and deleted it before I even knew what had happened.

And this is some really deep fandom cuts, but while I thought that was a pretty dickish thing to do because A. I very specifically went out of my way to never discuss her personally/say anything beyond criticism of her poor acting performance and B. I had zero clue that she had even seen what I was saying up until a short while before she called me out by URL, there was a writer on the series that was very well known for starting shit with fans who I think was the clear instigator behind this. Given her public shitty behavior and the info that was sort of implied/came out after this weird fandom fuckery, I'm pretty sure that she had showed Phoebe and other actors on the show my blog and the blogs of some of my friends like a year before this happened, and again based on her prior behavior I suspect she was gassing the situation up a lot until it finally spilled over onto social media, which was when I actually found out that any of this shit was going on BTS in the first place.

But anyway, this weird incident was really the first and only time I had any interaction with her and it wasn't even really an interaction, I have still never spoken to her directly, sent her anything, or literally done anything involving her beyond answering asks about her acting. And ultimately I obviously can't control who says what about me and I just have to deal with that, but again, the evidence that they're using as proof that I harassed her is quite literally evidence that she was trying to get people to harass me, which is actually lowkey hilarious.

[kodzuken]

this is gonna be kinda long and incomprehensible but hear me out: sth is really weird with buck, he is acting super ooc this season. first his relationship with taylor that seemed super weird in 5a but i brushed it off attributing it to me being negative abt it bc i don't like BT. but then with each passing episode he was acting weirder. he was once again focused on his own pain and making it abt himself. he tried to leave bc he felt unwanted. 1/3

2/2 then maddie left. and back in that episode when chim punched him and buck spent the entire episode telling chim how maddie just needs time and she's fine i didn't think much of it either. but now after boston, now that we know more? like buck is the caretaker. he loves his family. and maddie came to him, told him abt almost drowning jee and that she is leaving, she didn't tell him where and he just LET HER? he never would have before. 2/3

3/3 the buck we always knew would NEVER let maddie go if he suspected that it was THIS BAD. did he not even realize??? and then there is the cheating storyline. this was super ooc for the buck we know. and then the eddie thing? sth bad is happening to buck. i don't mean ooc in a 'this is bad writing' way. i think it's excellent writing. i think they're giving us subtle hints about how he is heading for sth Bad. i think once everyone else is "fixed" he is gonna go down. hard.

OKAY sorry i’ve been holding on to this since you sent it last night and i wanted to wait until i was off work so i could properly digest it and respond because i think you are actually the smartest anon that’s ever been in my inbox.

so my thing with buck is this: eddie hit the nail on the fucking head when he said in 504 “you’re the guy who likes to fix things”. he wasn’t just walking about buck’s relationship with maddie; he was stripping buck down to his very bones, the very root of his character -- beneath all of buck’s bravado, his flirting, his jokes and fun facts, he’s just a guy who wants to help, who wants to do the right thing, and most importantly, who wants to fix other people’s problems. it is of my personal opinion (but i’m right, actually) that buck wants to fix other people’s problems so he doesn’t have to fix his own. i could go on a mile long tangent about how buck compartmentalizes himself and his own issues (hello buck 1.0/2.0/3.0), and how everything we know about buck in canon goes to prove that he avoids dealing with his own problems by dealing with other people’s. he loves to be able to fix things, he hates when he can’t.

which brings us to season 5, and i think you’re literally so right, that buck is acting ooc, and it’s for a very good reason. as the audience, we’re SUPPOSED to be thinking, as my father said during 511, “what the fuck, buckley?”. we’re supposed to be wondering what’s going on in his head. and where with say, eddie, we very clearly know why he’s heading into the direction of a major breakdown, we don’t necessarily have that with buck. like obviously, we know he’s Been Through Shit (daniel, the shooting, the ladder truck, the tsunami, the blood clots, the lawsuit, jesus christ man), but we’ve also been made to believe that those things are things we’ve dealt with. personally i believe this is why dr. copeland was introduced in 4A -- to give viewers the impression that buck was dealing with his shit. but we very clearly see in season 5 that he hasn’t dealt with it, and with the huge fucking elephant in the room that is the shooting and the will, buck can’t deal with it.

so, he acts out of character. this is SO fucking pertinent to buck’s character, imo. he quite literally has a track record of making the wrong decision when he’s backed into a corner and doesn’t know what else to do; the lawsuit is a perfect example of this. so now, in season 5, we have a buck who has absolutely no direction as to how to move forward to healing, so he does what he does when he’s afraid -- he makes Decisions that aren’t necessarily the best for him in the long run. take taylor, for example -- he makes it clear that he’s tired of running after people, and yet he gets with taylor (not to MENTION everything that happens in past is prologue) anyway. he’s constantly making ooc decisions, and it isn’t bad writing. it’s fan-fucking-tastic writing, actually, because we’re slowly seeing buck break down in real time. this isn’t eddie clutching a back (with buck In The Room) because all of his trauma is hitting him at once; this is buck slowly but surely digging himself into a hole he won’t be able to get out of without serious help

and you’re right -- especially after everything that happened with doug, i don’t think buck normally would have let maddie go off by herself, especially if he feared she was in danger to herself. but this isn’t a buck who’s acting rationally; this isn’t a buck who’s head is on straight. this is a buck who’s grasping at the edge of a cliff, trying to hang on. this is a buck who can’t fix someone else’s problems, because his own are becoming suffocating.

so yeah, you’re right on the nose -- buck is going to put it away (hah) and help other people; he’s going to be there for maddie and chim, be there for eddie and chris, be there for bobby and may, and he’s not going to worry about himself. but as soon as he doesn’t have anything to fix, anything to focus on, the weight of everything is going to hit him at once, and he’s going to fucking break.

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 3

Pairing: CEO!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky’s becoming extra horny around you in the office.

Word Count: 2,697

Warnings: still smut, boss x employee affair, unprotected sex everywhere, hints at misogyny???

A/N: And a mini series was born 😂 no but honestly, I didn’t expect for parts 1 and 2 of The Match to receive such amazing feedback 😭 I really enjoy reading everyone’s reaction to this series and trust me, all comments keep giving me ideas. Thank you all so much!!!!!!! 😘😘😘 and btw, this part isn’t their promotion “celebration” because that will have a chapter on its own. Long story short, that will be pure porn with no plot at all so stay tuned for that 😂

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

It’s been a rollercoaster ride since you matched with James— Bucky, on Tinder. Maybe not a literal rollercoaster ride but with how Bucky had you bouncing on his cock as he sat on the couch, or that one time he asked you to sit on his face inside his car, it was a ride nonetheless and an exhilarating one at that.

Despite your relationship with him, the both of you surprisingly managed to keep things professional when there was work involved. Of course there were times when quickies in the office took place, given that Bucky was fucking insatiable (let’s all admit it, so were you). Work was work and you excelled at being the head of your department, but once office hours are over, you excelled more at giving Bucky head.

Oftentimes you found yourself worrying about getting caught. You’ve always been careful but lately, Bucky seemed to be slipping up. He just couldn’t seem to get his hands off of you and he was becoming more and more obvious. You were pretty good at being discreet but sometimes, it was hard not to react to Bucky when he would look at you with a naughty glint in his eyes, a smug smirk tugging at his lips as he watched you present. He’d tilt his head sometimes as he looked at you, lifting a brow as he smirked whenever he was impressed.

You ended up stuttering when he gave you that look one time. It was proud and it made your chest swell and your pussy throb. He rewarded you that night in his office by making you cum on his face twice.

That look was going to be the death of you and he was giving it to you now as you entered the conference room for the monthly mancom meeting. Bucky eyed you as you went around the desk, lifting a brow and pulling the empty chair next to him, commanding you to sit beside him without having to say a word.

You cleared your throat and pulled the chair, noticing how Bucky eyed your ass before you sat down.

“Is everyone here?” He asked after ogling your backside for a good five seconds.

All the department heads affirmed their attendance and soon enough, the meeting began with the HR manager reporting first. Lights were shut off and as soon as the report was projected onto the wall, Bucky began his little game. You were paying attention to the slides being presented until you felt Bucky’s foot nudge your ankle, hooking around it to slightly open up your legs.

You side-eyed him and subtly shook your head. He had never done this in public, at least, not during meetings. So you weren’t sure why he was being so frisky now, placing a hand on your thigh. You grabbed his hand and moved it away gently before slightly moving your seat away from Bucky, crossing your legs in the process.

“What do you think Mister Barnes?” The HR manager asked.

All heads turned towards Bucky, who obviously wasn’t paying attention provided that his hand was trying to sneak back onto your thigh. He cleared his throat and straightened up on his seat, fixing his tie before pursing his lips.

“I’m sorry, can you please repeat that?” He asked and you fought the urge to snort.

“I was wondering if we can hold another seminar about workplace etiquette.” She said.

Bucky hummed, “Do we have problematic employees?” He asked curiously.

The HR manager sighed, a blush creeping up to her face. “There have been rumors going around the office about employees engaging in...lewd acts within the workplace. I thought that we should revisit the topic about workplace code of ethics.” She explained.

You ended up in a coughing fit, quickly apologizing and reasoning out that you were having allergies today. Bucky tensed in his seat but managed to remain calm. He stole a quick glance at you before turning back to the HR manager.

“And have we identified these employees?” He asked, rubbing a hand on his chin. A nervous habit of his, you noticed.

This was what you have been worrying about! Bucky has been fucking you around the office and now everyone was catching on to it. And although you wanted to blame Bucky for this, you knew you were just as much to blame. Damn you and your hormones!

The HR manager shook her head, much to your and Bucky’s relief. “No sir, but some employees have been noticing and hearing things, especially after office hours. Janet for instance, filed a report last week about hearing hushed whispers from the pantry, followed by the creaking sound of the table. The following day, shards of someone’s mug were found in the trash. There was an assumption that there might be employees behaving inappropriately.”

“Oh my god, I’m close. Bucky I’m—“

Bucky’s hand clamped around your mouth as he shushed you, hearing footsteps approach the pantry. You stilled as you nervously watched shadows move beneath the door, but of course, this didn’t stop Bucky from snapping his hips against yours.

His thrusts were slow and languid, but he slammed back in with such force that made the pantry table scratch against the floor. Once the footsteps faded, Bucky wasted no time to get back to fucking you. He lifted your legs up and rested the back of your ankles against his shoulders, slightly bending down over you so he can angle his cock to perfectly hit that one sweet spot.

A single, powerful thrust sent you reeling, your hands finding purchase on the sides of the table.

“Cum, baby. Cum.” Bucky growled.

Another thrust made you gasp out loud, feeling the head of Bucky’s cock nudge against your cervix. One hand reached for his bicep, your nails digging into his dress shirt while the other reached back for the edge of the table only to knock off the mug resting on top.

You made a face when you heard it crash against the floor. The mug was soon forgotten when Bucky leaned down to kiss you, his tongue sliding into your mouth as his hand reached down to rub your clit.

You wiped the sweat on your forehead upon remembering that incident. Fucking Janet just had to file a report. It was after office hours, for fuck’s sake! Who cares what employees do after their shift?!

“I see.” Bucky responded, fixing his suit. “Okay. I approve of the seminar. Who’s next?” He asked, quickly changing the topic as if it was no big deal.

The head of the Finance department began with his presentation and just like that, Bucky returned his hand on top of your thigh, prying your legs open. You turned to him with a look of disbelief on your face. He was acting as if there wasn’t any close call earlier. You couldn’t believe this man, sure he was hot as hell, but you weren’t giving in to him. Not today, not when the both of you were almost caught.

The entire mancom meeting was pretty eventful, with Bucky teasing your legs with his hand despite your half-hearted protests. You hated how Bucky was able to familiarize himself with your body and how it reacted to him. Your eyes might be saying no but with how your legs eventually spread on their own, Bucky knew you were desperate for him too.

-

It was an hour past your shift when you received an e-mail from Bucky with the subject being “Report”. Thinking it was one his follow-up e-mails (Bucky is an impatient man when it comes to the submission of reports and you weren’t an exception) you opened it immediately and choked on your spit when a photo of his dick showed up on your desktop. You started clicking around in an attempt to close his e-mail, but instead of hitting the “x” button, you ended up maximizing the window instead.

“Jesus fucking christ!” You cursed and covered your monitor with your hands as you frantically looked around the office.

It was like a fucking jump scare, like one of those computer pranks asking you to concentrate on a dot before a scary photo would pop out. Except that it was Bucky’s dick that appeared. A dick scare.

Fortunately, you were the only one left in your area since pretty much everyone else scrambled out of the office as soon as work hours were over. It was a Friday after all.

You sighed in relief and quickly scrolled down to see the message beneath the photo of Bucky’s dick.

Need you in my office in ten.

P.S. Bring the report I asked from you the other day.

Best,

Bucky Barnes

Who sends an unsolicited dick pic through e-mail followed by a work reminder? And the signature? It was the cherry on top. Bucky Barnes was something else. Sweet jesus, you really couldn’t believe this man.

Grabbing your report, you marched your way to the elevator and headed up to Bucky’s office. Seeing that his floor was empty, you didn’t even bother knocking on his door and simply barged in.

“I can’t belie— what the fuck?” You called out when you were welcomed with the sight of Bucky leaning back on his chair, his cock out for the world to see as he gently stroked it.

“Need your pretty mouth around my cock, baby.” Bucky cooed with half-lidded eyes.

You huffed out a humorless laugh and shook your head, “I’m not sucking your cock, Bucky.” You refused and walked over to his table, slamming your report on top of it before walking away, but not before stealing another look at his majestic cock.

“Are you mad?” Bucky asked but he was smirking with amusement. He was giving you that look again but you were having none of it tonight.

You stood in front of his desk, keeping a safe distance away from him. Crossing your arms over your chest, you scowled at Bucky and tried your best not to let your eyes fall down to his cock again. Which by the way, he continued to stroke.

“For someone as smart as you, I can’t believe you’re so fucking dense.” You said with irritation when Bucky didn’t seem to understand why you were agitated.

He licked his lips, bucking up his hips when he squeezed the base of his cock. Bucky let out a delicious grunt as he continued to stroke himself. As much as you were salivating at the sight of Bucky’s cock— tip red and swollen, begging to be sucked— you didn’t want to give in.

“You’re fucking priceless, James.” You said, exasperated and turned around, heading towards the door.

You were about to reach onto the door knob when you heard the sound of a zipper followed by the wheels of Bucky’s chair screeching against the floor before a pair of hands grabbed at your waist. Turning you around, you were met with Bucky’s worried face.

“Shit, you’re really mad. Talk to me?” He pleaded, eyes apologetic as he took a step back, urging you to speak up.

“You might want to take a seat because I’ve got quite a list.” You said.

Bucky obeyed and returned to his chair immediately, sitting upright as he looked at you with doe eyes. If you weren’t so mad, you would’ve melted at the sight of him like that. And the Bucky Barnes? The CEO? Obeying you like a good little boy? Huh, what an interesting concept. You mentally took note of a certain kink that you might enjoy. But for now, you were mad at him and you were going to make him understand why.

“Number one, I don’t particularly enjoy it when you tease me in front of everyone else. We talked about staying professional when there’s work involved and what you did during the mancom was definitely not professional.” You told him.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hold back not when your ass looked so fuckin’ tight in that skirt of yours. Can you blame me?” Bucky almost whined.

“Keep it in your pants, Barnes. I’m not yet done.” You reminded him and went over your second point.

“Number two, we almost got caught to the point of the HR deciding to hold a seminar on workplace ethics! Do you know how awkward it would be for me to sit there and listen to scenarios about office misconduct? Most of which we’ve probably done. I’d sweat like a whore in church!” You hissed.

Which scenarios could that be? Fucking inside the janitor’s supply closet? Check. Doing the nasty in one of the bathroom cubicles? Check that twice. Giving a blowjob beside the fax machine during lunch break? Triple check that shit.

“And oh, you sent me a dick pic using your work e-mail! You do know that the IT can access our computers right? Almost gave me a heart attack when it flashed on my monitor.” You asked in a huff.

Bucky snickered, “Are you forgetting that I’m the CEO? Baby, I can easily clean up our mess.” He reassured and stood up, approaching you.

You shook your head, “That’s exactly the point, Bucky. You are the CEO and I’m an employee. You may not understand it but I’m scared. If we get caught, it’s over for me. Whether you have it cleaned up or not, I’d still be the one at risk here. You’ll never be in the same position as I am. People won’t call you names if we get caught. No matter what happens, I’d always get the short end of the stick.”

You didn’t mean to be all serious, talking about the possible misogynistic outcome of your relationship with Bucky. As much as you enjoyed it, it still scared the living daylights out of you. Some were already spreading rumors about your promotion, getting caught would only add fuel to the fire.

Bucky sighed and nodded, “I’m sorry. I didn’t try to understand where you were coming from.” He genuinely apologized.

“If it scares you that much, then let’s make it official.”

You deadpanned at him, “Make what official, Bucky?” You asked, eyebrow raised in curiosity.

Bucky shrugged and motioned his hand between the both of you, “This...us.” He simply said.

You scoffed, “Tell the entire office that we’re fucking every chance we get? Are you out of your mind?”

Bucky ran a hand through his cropped hair, “Not like that. Look, we’ve been at it for what? Two? Three months now? We might as well make this into an official relationship.”

You blushed at Bucky’s suggestion. Sure, you practically jumped at the opportunity to fuck your boss when he asked you. But were you an easy bitch in general? Of course not, even with how thirsty you were for him, you still had a little bit of appreciation for the old-fashioned ways.

Pushing Bucky’s chest away, you shook your head at him. “That’s now how relationships work, Bucky. You can’t fuck your way into my heart.”

Bucky laughed and bit his lip, “Fine. Then I’ll do it properly.” He said so easily you were starting to wonder whether he was fucking with you.

You narrowed your eyes at him suspiciously, “I don’t believe you.” You said.

“You will, baby. I’ll make sure of that. We’ll do it old-school.” He said, caressing your cheek.

You were caught off guard but you didn’t want to get your hopes up. Bucky had been an amazing lover and in the past months you’ve fucked, he treated you with respect and took good care of you. He brought you dinner, drove you home and texted you good night. Sometimes he’d text you during the weekends too.

“Old-school it is then.” You shrugged as if it was no big deal but oh, it was a big deal.

Bucky nodded with a grin, “Okay. But...” he trailed, his smile turning upside down in deep thought.

“Does that mean we’d stop fucking each other for the mean time?” He asked.

You snickered, “I said you can’t fuck your way into my heart, not my pussy. So sit down and let me suck your cock.”

-

Everything Bucky Tag List:

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The Match Special Tags:

@marvelslag​ @weird-mumbling​ @propertyofpoeandbucky​ @lostinthoughtsandfeelings​ @mostly-marvel-musings​ @squishybabies​ @megzdoodle​ @little-baby-vixen​ @annathesillyfriend​ @xhollycowx​ @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ @5-seconds-of-mendes​ @gogolucky13​ @countonthesun​ @iloveshawnieboi​ @learisa​ @borikenlove​ 

[deceitfuldevil]

Truth Serum

Pietro Maximoff X Reader

Summary: While working with Tony and Bruce in the lab you accidentally drink some very experimental truth serum, leading to some unwanted confessions with your coworkers.

Warnings: use of y/n, swearing, lots of dialogue, barely proofread, etc.

Word Count: 1.7K

—

You were busy working with Tony and Bruce in the lab and jokingly Tony placed his latest concoction next to your drink but you didn’t realize until it was too late and you drank Bruce’s experimental truth serum.

“Jesus Tony can you turn down that obnoxious music? I’m so sick of that stupid 70s rock music you’re always playing.”

Tony stopped what he was doing are looked over at you in shock.

“L/n, what the hell are you talking about? You told me you loved my music.”

“Well I lied, I lie to you a lot actually.” You looked up eyes blown wide with dear as you covered your mouth after saying that.

“I did NOT mean to say that.”

“Y/n… did you just take a sip of that beaker Tony so stupidly placed right next to your drink?” Bruce asked pinching the small space in between his eyebrows

You looked down as remorse filled your gut, noticing a small dribble of blue liquid slowly falling down the side of the beaker you obviously just took a drink from. Your eyes life to meet Bruce’s as you slowly nodded a small yes.

“Well, no thanks to Tony now we get to find out if my very experimental truth serum actually works.”

“TRUTH SERUM?!” You shouted, the last thing you wanted was for your team to have unrestricted access to your secrets.

“No thanks to me? Are you kidding Banner? This might be the most fun we have with Y/n all year!” Tony said with a cheeky grin

Your groaned and let your head fall onto the desk you were sitting at. “How long will this last?” You asked muffled

“Best case scenario for you? It could wear off within the next 30 minutes. Worst case scenario? You could be highly responsive and overly truthful for the two days.”

Tony broke out with a loud cackle as he got up from his desk and exited the lab “Good luck kid!”

“And theres no antidote?” You pleaded

“Sorry, but we were barely in the trial phases of creating this and we don’t try to make an antidote unless we know for sure that it works.”

“So how the hell am I supposed to deal with this in the meantime?”

“My best advice? Lock yourself away in your quarters for the next day or so to avoid saying anything unsavory to the rest of the team. Because I don’t have a doubt in my mind Tony left to go and tell the whole team about your little predicament.”

But before you could reply Sam, Rhodey, and Bucky all came running into the lab practically running over each other.

“Okay, I’ve wanted wanted to know. How do you feel really about Redwing?” Sam asked pushing Rhodey and Bucky aside.

“I think you should find a girlfriend so you stop obsessing over a high tech piece of metal.” You said with an unholy amount of sass, already sick of this treatment. Bucky burst out laughing but you sent a pissed off glare his way.

“Don’t think you’re safe either beefcake. You’re 106 years old and still can’t take a joke, not to mention that you’re forgetful as fuck. I mean who the hell just forgets that they have a vibrium arm? I’m not even going to get started on that staring problem you have that you think is so intimidating.” You snapped, shutting everyone in the room up. Before leaving you locked eyes with Rhodey.

“Oh hi Ego Machine! Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about you. I mean who could when you tell that story of how you dropped a tank at the generals feet every single party? I mean, BOOM were you looking to be interesting?”

After shutting every one in that room down you stormed out and locked yourself in your room. You really could tell if you had taken truth serum or just a liquid curse. You never left your room for the rest of the night, not wanting to risk dinner with the team. But you woke up around 5:30 in the morning to. Very strong feeling of hunger, and prayed no one else would be up this early as you snaked down into the kitchen. You walked past Wanda sleeping quietly on the couch as Vision floated peacefully in the corner.

“Creepy motherfucker…” you whispered as you stepped into the kitchen

“What was that you said about my husband?” Wanda said, suddenly on the other side of the counter looking at you with a tilted head. You jumped almost spilling your cereal

“Jesus Christ Wanda! A warning!” You said clutching your head with one hand and the cereal box with the other. But she only looked at you and smiled mischievously

“You can ask anything you want but you’re not allowed to be upset by the answer” you stated plaining, pouring some milk into your bowl.

“Are you talking about the truth serum you took yesterday?” Wanda asked, tilting her head at you.

“Yeah, it might not wear off for another 24 hours. Everyones been dying to find how I ‘really’ feel about them since Tony ran his big mouth and told everyone about this stupid serum I drank.”

“You do remember I can read minds, right? I always know when someone’s telling the truth or lying, I just don’t always call them on it.”

“Right.” You said quietly as you stuffed your face with cereal so you could go back to your quarters as soon as possible.

You sat alone in your room unbothered for the next few hours, until you heard a rock at your door.

“Don’t come in! Go away!” You shouted turning the page of your book assuming whoever was on the other side of your door would kindly fuck off. But as a tall man with a mop of silver hair entered your room you sighed dramatically and threw your book at him, missing spectacularly.

“I could’ve sworn I said to NOT come in.” you said as you crossed your arms over your chest, looking at the ever so muscular man making his way over to your bed.

“And when’s the last time I took orders from you?” Pietro said with a smile.

“You never take orders from anyone, I’m surprised you haven’t been kicked off the team yet honestly.” You spat, bitter that he wasn’t respecting your wishes to be left alone. A pit of nerves also started to grow in your stomach the closer he came to you knowing how you really felt about him, and that if he asked there’d be nothing stopping you from telling him the truth.

“Ah, you wound me dragâ.” Pietro says as he mockingly clasps his hands over his heart as if you’d shot him. You just rolled your eyes in response.

“The team tells me you’ve become somewhat of a bitch since yesterday, is that true?” He asked, sitting down at the foot of your bed.

“I’m not a bitch, Tony just tricked me into drinking some of Banner’s experimental truth serum. But you already knew that didn’t you? Either way, spoiler alert. The stupid serum works and probably won’t wear off for another 12 hours. Besides, I’m only a bitch to the team members I don’t like.” Your eyes widened realizing what you just admitted to Pietro

“I suppose that’s true, Wanda did tell me you weren’t too bad when she ran into you this morning.” Pietro said scooting up next to you in bed, normally you’d tell him to fuck off before he got too close so he would know how much you loved being in his arms but when he asked

“Is this okay?” As he stretched his arms over your shoulders pulling you into his chest

“Yeah, I love it when you hold me. Or just touch me in general, always makes me feel like I’m on cloud nine.” The confession just spilled right out of your mouth, causing you to once again to clasp a hand over your lips to prevent you from saying anything else.

Pietro looked down at you with a shocked eyes but a smug smile, deciding to push his luck he asked “Then why do you always push me away and tell me to fuck off anytime I hug you?”

“Becwagh wi dwomt vhmnf to nmfh…” you said, keeping your hand over your mouth to muffle your answer. Pietro shook his head light at you as he took your hand off your lips and held it, gently caressing your knuckles with his thumb

“What was that darling?” He said as he cobalt blue eyes poured into yours. It’s like he already knew how you felt but just needed to hear you say it to confirm his suspicions. Months of pinning after you, and now here was his chance. He had no other choice but to act on it. You swallowed the last bit of pride and fear held in your chest and said

“Because I don’t want you to know how I really feel about you.” The last of your walls came crashing down as you smiled gently at the handsome man before you, he gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as his faced inched closer to yours.

“And how do you feel about me dragosté?”

“Like you’re the only person in the world I could ever fall in love with.” That was all Pietro needed to push aside his ego hearing how you really felt about him as he leaned down and closed the gap in between the two of you pressing his soft lips to yours. Moving gently with you as his lips slotted perfectly over yours, you breathe in his musky scent as you ran your hand across his chest pulling him closer to you. Sadly it wasn’t long before you both ran out of air and had to pull away

“So how do you feel now?” Pietro asked with a cheeky grin plastered on his lovestruck face

“Like I could kiss your stupid face all day.” You said grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him back in for a much more heated kiss.

The rest of your afternoon and week into the evening was spent in Pietros arms sharing soft kisses and fleeting touches. Although admittedly he was sad when the truth serum wore off and he couldn’t ask you any and everything under the sun about how you felt about him.

But you’d end up showing him how you felt in other ways later on ;)

—

A/N

Ahhh here’s my 4th post that will be published while I’m away at camp! Found this little bit in my notes as well and just fleshed it out enough to post! Hope this was enjoyable!

Much Love,

—Skyler

[ohbuckie]

ALPHA SIGMA WHATEVER-THE-FUCK | B.B.

Summary: Bucky’s a douchebag frat brother, but Christ, is he delicious.

Warnings: smut, bathroom sex, drinking (both parties are sober and able to give consent), mention of drugs

Word Count: 1.7k

Bucky Barnes. Conceited, loud, irritating. Built like a Greek God—with that perfect jaw, and those thick forearms, and that firm chest. All of his t-shirts are a size too small, and he’s never been caught wearing a baseball cap forwards, or without a protein shake in his hand.

“Hey, Y/N,” he jogs to catch up with you, “what’s up?”

“Walking.” You answer dryly. It’s unsurprising, really, that he just randomly bumped into you. He always seems to.

“Where?”

“To class.”

“I won’t keep you long, then.”

“Please don’t ‘keep me’ at all, Bucky. What do you want?”

“I’m having a party tonight. Thought you could come. Wear something cute.”

“Don’t be gross.”

“I’m not-”

“Yes, you are.” You step up to the building that your class is in, and turn to him to speak. “I’ll come if I don’t have to bring anything.”

“Perfect. Beach theme.”

Of course it is. Any excuse for every girl there to be wearing the smallest outfit possible.

“Okay, whatever.” You step through the door, and hear him again before it closes behind you.

“Wear that blue bikini top you have!”

“You’re a freak, Barnes!”

—

You show up in the bikini top he mentioned, but only because your roommate, Natasha, told you it looked better than the other ones. You’re wearing an unbuttoned tropical shirt over it, and shorts on the bottom, which is a lot tamer than some of the other girls in the house, dressed in only bikinis, or a t-shirt with just bottoms. You won’t allow Bucky to see you like that without working for it first.

He greets you at the door, dressed in only swim trunks and sunglasses and holding a can of cheap beer. His best friend, Steve Rogers, steps up behind him to greet Natasha, who he so obviously wants to fuck. He takes the bowl of veggie dip that she insisted on bringing from her hands and gestures for her to come inside. You roll your eyes.

“What, you got a crush on Stevie?”

“He makes it so obvious how badly he wants to bang her.” You explain, thinking maybe he’ll take the hint. He doesn’t. “Where are the drinks?”

“I’ll show you.” He waves you inside and leads you to the counter through the sea of people already in the house, pointing to where all of the containers of mixed drinks are, telling you about what’s in them. You’re really only paying attention to the way the muscles of his back interact, how they tense and move as he moves his arms to point and turns around to look at you while he speaks. “You listening?” He grins.

“Wha- uh, yeah, of course.” You feel your cheeks heat up, and you hate that he caught you staring. If he wasn’t so insufferable, you’d have slept with him by now, but he insists on being the biggest douchebag anybody’s ever met.

“You want me to get you a drink?”

“No, thanks. I’m perfectly capable.”

“Yeah, okay. Alright, I’m gonna go find Sam. Maybe he doesn’t have a stick up his ass.”

You scoff and find a cup, filling it with whatever the last thing Bucky showed you was; sangria, probably. It’s much too strong, but you don’t mind so much—it’s not like you came here to be sober.

It doesn’t take long for Natasha and Steve to loosen up enough to be grinding on each other—Steve’s chest pressed against her back, his hands on her waist, his lips on the side of her neck. Bucky and Sam are playing beer pong with a few other brothers, yelling everything they say and spilling drinks on each other.

You’re only a couple in—far from drunk—but the way that Bucky’s personality takes up the entire room is far more intoxicating than any alcohol in this house. He has streams of beer dribbling down his chin and chest, and perhaps it’s a little unhinged. but you want nothing more than to lick it off.

You step over to him and he instinctively puts his arm around your waist. “You wanna do this one?”

“Oh, no, I’m not-”

“No, no, come on, I’ll show you.” He stands behind you and takes your wrist in his hand, pulling it back to where it needs to be. “Be gentle with it. Use your wrist more than your elbow.” He places the ball in your hand, and trusts you to do the rest, standing back with his arms crossed over his chest. You flick the plastic towards the gathering of Solo cups across the table and, miraculously, falls into one. Bucky throws his arms up and cheers for you, watching Sam drink across the table.

He looks down at you with a smile on his face, and it goes straight to your stomach. You stick to him for the rest of the game, taking his turns and letting him keep his hands on you. You realize his hands have never been on you before, but you very much like it; he knows where to keep them.

When you win, you take the opportunity to kiss him, feeling overly confident from the adrenaline that comes with an entire room of people cheering for you. His lips are soft, and he holds you close, with one hand on your back and the other on your waist. He’s a decent kisser—not too slobbery, like most other frat guys—and can keep his tongue to himself, for the most part. One of his friends shoves him playfully, and you pull away from him, giggling.

“You’re not drunk, right?” He asks, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.

You shake your head. “Are you?”

“Nope.” He takes your hand and brings you to the hallway near the bathroom, pushing you against the wall and pressing his lips to yours again. His hands cup your cheeks, and this time, his tongue makes an appearance. It moves along your bottom lip, making its way into your mouth. He tastes like beer and smells like Irish Spring, but it acts as a pheromone of sorts, and makes you want him even more.

His knee slides between your legs and presses against your core, and you wrap your arms around his neck to try to get closer, if that’s even possible. His breath fans over your cheek and his thumb rubs your cheekbone, but before anything allows this moment to be sweet, somebody pats Bucky on the back and informs him that the bathroom is now free.

He wastes no time in pulling you through the door, nearly slamming it behind him. Your lower back hits the counter and sends a pain up your spine, but you quickly forget it when his hands move down your torso and stop at your ass. He kisses down your neck sloppily, holding your head back by your hair. He pushes your shirt down your shoulders, urging you to shimmy it off of your arms, which you do.

“Turn around.” He breathes, running his fingers through his thick hair.

You stare at him, distracted, before processing his words and doing as he asked. You bend over the counter and feel him reach around you to unbutton your shorts, letting them fall to the floor.

“You wore the matching bottoms?” He chuckles, hotly kissing the nape of your neck.

You shrug. “They’re cute.”

He responds only by saying “Uh-huh,” and tugging them down past your thighs.

“How many girls have you fucked in here, Barnes?”

“That’s not relevant.” He mumbles, and you hear his belt hit the floor. “Drawer next to you is condoms.” You open it and find what you’re looking for, holding your hand behind your back with the packet between your fingertips.

He unwraps it quickly and takes a moment to roll it down his cock before he rubs the tip against your pussy, earning a surprised gasp from you. Slowly, he breaches your entrance, and he’s a lot bigger than you expected, with how big of a douchebag he is.

“Fuck, Bucky.”

“I’ve been telling you we should fuck.”

“Shut up.” You moan. “You’re ruining it.”

He grabs onto your hips and pulls you backwards, bottoming out completely. He starts thrusting shallowly, and you can feel him staring at where your bodies meet, watching himself disappear inside of you like he’s wanted to for so long.

“Jesus Christ, you’re so hot.” He moans, deepening his thrusts and picking up the pace.

You look down at your hands—pressed against the porcelain, slipping back and forth every time Bucky fucks himself into you. There’s powder beneath your fingers, but you decide you won’t try to guess if it’s cocaine or something else.

You hear his skin slapping against yours, echoing off of the walls, surely loud enough for anybody outside to hear. “God, Buck, it feels-”

“So fucking good.”

You nod. “Uh-huh.”

He continues fucking you, so that your pelvic bones dig into the counter in front of you, and your toes just barely reach the floor. He takes a fistful of your hair and yanks your head backwards so that you’re staring at the mirror.

“Look at me while I fuck you.”

It makes you swallow hard and clench around him, and it’s probably the first time you’ve ever done something he’s told you to do without any hesitation. You look at his concentrated face, the sweat gleaming on his forehead and chest, his teeth digging into his lower lip to keep himself quiet. He’s never been so dedicated to something in his entire life.

You feel him hit a spot inside of you that’s never been touched before, and it makes you cry out. “Goddamnit, Barnes! Fuck, I’m close, don’t stop!”

“Was not planning on it.” He says, snapping his hips until your knees buckle and shake, and you tell him you’re cumming. He fucks you through it, and finishes in the middle of your orgasm, pushing himself all the way into you until he spills everything he has into the condom. “Fuck.” He mutters, and pulls out of you, tying the condom and tossing it in the trash can next to the toilet.

You stand straight and gather your things from the floor—your button-up, your swimsuit bottoms, your shorts—before putting them back on and turning to face him. “I didn’t think you knew how to do that.”

“How to do what?”

“Make a girl cum.”

[measureformeasure]

Hamlet @ the Stratford Festival

I had the chance to catch Hamlet at Stratford this year, and oh my God, Amaka Umeh is a force of fucking nature and probably the best Hamlet i’ll ever see in my life. It was overall a very good production despite some Stratford Festival-itis and directed by a man disease, mostly because Amaka Umeh...was on stage. 

oh no, tumblr user lesbianedmund! you cry. i don’t live in canada and/or i don’t have the money to see it!!. fear not. i took copious notes. also it’ll probably be online w/ stratfest @ home, so eventually it may be dispersed to the masses. and you can watch Amaka Umeh do to be or not to be in 2020. it’s amazing. all the details are beneath the cut and there are many.

first off. Amaka Umeh (she/they/he) is the most amazing Hamlet I have ever seen. They are the definitive Hamlet. Why are we still making Hamlets when their Hamlet exists. She delivered monologues in ways I never thought of. She was so alive as Hamlet it was insane. For real I think they’re the best actor I’ve ever seen. Adjoa Andoh type of compelling. I don’t think I can really exaggerate how fantastic he is.

before you ask: no Fortinbras. Gertrude could not see the ghost. Gertrude knew the wine was poisoned. Hamlet’s madness was not really fake. Ophelia did not hear to be or not to be.

overarching thoughts: so much Stratford Festival syndrome acting in this. ie boring as fuck acting. like they’re saying words. they’re even saying the words really well. but jesus christ it’s so boring. it feels so dead and i can’t put my finger on why. hate it

Hamlet was beyond amazing. Horatio was good, Laertes was good, loved the players scene (SOOOO amateur theatre it was perfect down to the ukulele), r&g were good, Polonius i warmed up to, Claudius, Gertrude*, and Ophelia were just so boring, ghost was too standard ghost-y & i hated that. also, I think it didn’t do its women very well

* I saw a Gertrude understudy, and not Maev Beaty, so my Gertrude thoughts might be different than someone who saw the main cast Gertrude

there was really annoying underscoring at some parts, especially the ending. fuck underscoring in theatre i didn’t come to see a movie i came to see a PLAY

before the play started there was a glass rectangular coffin on stage with the dead Hamlet Sr in it. the set had two levels and it’s a thrust kind of stage. on the top level there was two-way glass making a little box kind of deal which could be mirrors or another part of the stage very cool

the second scene opened with the coffin of Hamlet’s father being covered with a tablecloth and Hamlet was standing at the end of it (back to centre audience) and was very upset

everyone gathered around to clink their glasses but Hamlet just leant back in his chair and drank the whole glass. Laertes was wearing a shirt with butterflies on it under his suit? fashion icon

just the way ‘a little more than kin and less than kind’ was delivered was my first clue that this was going to be something absurdly fantastic. Hamlet did the whole thing very obviously grief-stricken. half his lines sounded like he was about to burst into tears and it was just. so. good.

the ‘o’ in o that this too too sullied flesh was so raw. that’s how you do the shakespeare guttural ‘o’ sound. yeah. also the o god! god! was delivered almost like protesting the fixing canon gainst self slaughter part. so good.

Laertes and Hamlet had a secret handshake which was hilarious

Ophelia and Hamlet made out with ophelia sitting on the coffin table which is. something i mean we know that hamlet thinks that’s his dad’s coffin so.

when Hamlet says ‘methinks i see my father’ to horatio, he whips the tablecloth off the table and

IT’S JUST A NORMAL TABLE. NO DEAD FATHER. IT DID NOT MOVE. GOD I LOVE THEATRE AND PRACTICAL EFFECTS.

and then the ‘in my mind’s eye’ was very rushed and Hamlet was clearly stunned by the fact that it wasn’t the coffin.

the ghost was really boring however the super low fog rolling across the steps of the stage looked fantastic. also the ghost of Hamlet Sr. saw Gertrude and Claudius like. making out in the two way glass cube

the Polonius and Reynaldo scene was actually kind of funny! however I think Polonius losing his train of thought should maybe have been sprinkled a little more through the play because my aunt thought the actor just corpsed lmao

Hamlet’s letters were all texts

to overhear Hamlet, Polonius called Claudius and put his phone in his pocket and Claudius and Gertrude went out in the hall. Polonius stood under the top layer of the stage, and then

enter Hamlet above doing to be or not to be. they moved it! wild. 

i reallllllly wish they did more with this. like how worried is Gertrude now? give me more. but super interesting in concept? however ‘Hamlet is a suicide text, it’s time to teach it like one’ has given me strong opinions about ophelia having to be there for the monologue

and then Hamlet went into his fake madness and messed around with Polonius. all of Polonius’ asides were done to the phone in his pocket.

Rosencrantz hit his juul like 8 times during this scene. also r&g and Hamlet had a secret handshake too.

the players were fun. the one guy started doing all the world’s a stage before hamlet got him doing the right monologue

they put this weird little like mic pack on Ophelia’s thigh and then she had a little thing around her neck or ear? so they could listen in?

going to be honest i don’t know why they did this. did you just want ophelia to untie her wrap dress. this is what i mean about directed by a man disease

Hamlet was just so confused about everything and then lashed out it was. ow. dude i don’t think this is a joke anymore ahahah

also when Hamlet said as a crab move backwards he took a selfie with Polonius. that whole bit was so fuckign funny

Horatio filmed Claudius on a phone during the mousetrap

Polonius pretended to be stabbed when he was reenacting being Julius Caesar it was funny he did et tu brute and Hamlet pretended to cut his throat

also the band played that ushering in music they play outside of the theatre (bc stratfest is like that) before the play for the mousetrap except now they have Danish flags on their instruments instead of stratfest ones

the play opened with four of the players on stage one of them playing the ukulele and singing a goofy song it was SO amateur theatre

when Claudius shouted for the lights to come up the house lights came up and it was intermission

Claudius’ ‘my offence is rank’ monologue was done TO Polonius!! he confessed to Polonius! and Hamlet didn’t hear it at all.Cclaudius was clearly kind of torn up about what he did and feeling guilt but he was still boring. lol

Polonius was shot through a curtain and Lo And Behold he was shot in the place where Hamlet pretended to stab him while he was pretending to be caesar

Gertrude also could not see the ghost and hamlet was so distraught

Hamlet was almost apprehended by some guards while he was walking around waving a gun after killing Polonius and he set it on the ground then went BLEH!!! and ran off

in the two way glass box we saw Ophelia discover the dead body of Polonius and she screamed but instead of noise it was like this cool discordant trumpet sound?

Ophelia was so boring. like it was just not. also she was wearing a medical gown and…an ankle monitor?

when Laertes came back he was wearing a puffer jacket and a black bucket hat.

i think he and fanny pack Tybalt from the 2021 r+j would be friends

the first gravedigger had his worksuit unzipped and he had a skull tattoo also the other gravedigger was actually the priest. he was smoking

at the ‘a tanner will last you nine year’ Hamlet and the gravedigger (who are both dark-skinned and playing on the word tanner as in darker not like profession) fist-bumped

alas poor Yorick was delivered kind of sadly at the start? was very very very good

when Hamlet realized the funeral was Ophelia’s he just hugged Horatio for a very long time :((

you know Amaka Umeh is a great actor bc they managed to deliver ‘would eat a crocodile’? as frightening. not a SINGLE PERSON laughed in the whole ass festival theatre.

when the duel was proposed to Hamlet, Horatio kept gesturing ‘no’ and shaking his head

at some point hamlet kissed Horatio on the cheek but i don’t remember where

Laertes accepted Hamlet’s apology and they did their handshake again

also, at the start Hamlet was in all black and now he’s in all white: Laertes was in red, then white and black, and now all black.

Gertrude realized the drink was poisoned and stopped hamlet from drinking, and the i will my lord was super interesting.

also Claudius kind of willingly drank the poison

the final monologues from Hamlet are something i WISH i could just revisit again and again they were so well done. so complex. not just one note i’m dying but fear and wonder and amazement and collapsing and oh god it was AMAZING. Horatio held Hamlet and the final ‘the rest is silence. O!’ was done almost with euphoria? like it was just so beautiful and interesting

it ended with ‘flights of angels’, lights went down for a moment then picked back up in a strobe thing and we saw the shadow of king hamlet and Horatio goes “who’s there?”

what the fuck. what the fuckkkkkk. cyclical nature of tragedy *starts bawling*

it was so good i forgot they cut fortinbras

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

Hi, I have an idea for Chishiya if it's okay! He have something going on with Kuina's friend, and after she didn't came back from a game everyone thought that she died, but she actually just left (she didn't want to become too attached to Chishiya maybe?) and 1 month later the militants found her and Chishiya is rather cold toward her because she left him without saying anything. Happy ending if possible, please

Thanks for requesting, here you go. Enjoy! 🥰

Home | Shuntaro Chishiya

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

Character(s): Chishiya (ft. Kuina, Niragi)

Summary: You run away from the beach, but soon were found by the militants again. Chishiya, your closest companion, is mad when you return for not saying anything.

Warning: mention of sexual harassment, swearing, grieving, heavy angst

Word Count: 4.8k

*reader is female

Author’s Note: I’m sorry if the ending is a bit cliché, but I really enjoyed writing this one!

“I’m so sick of this shit Kuina. She’s gone. What the hell do we do now?”

Chishiya and Kuina sat on the top roof of The Beach. Their legs were dangling over the edge, above the groups of people who sang their hearts out over the loud music. They couldn’t be down there themselves, not that night.

“It’s so unfair,” Chishiya grumbled, rubbing his stained eyes with his hands. “I hate how everyone just moves on like nothing happened.”

Kuina sniffled, trying to control her runny nose as she listened to Chishiya’s pained words. “Look Chish, it was going to happen to one of us three at some point, it just happened to be Y/N.” Kuina tried to keep her voice stable, but the occasional voice crack gave away her sadness.

“Yes I know, but it still hurts so fucking bad.”

You hadn’t returned from your game. You hadn’t returned back to Chishiya and Kuina. You hadn’t returned home.

*******

“Oi Y/N! Slow the hell down!”

You heard Kuina yell out to you from down the hall. You laughed at her desperate attempt to catch up while Chishiya walked at his own pace watching you guys.

“Why are we suddenly having a race?! We have all day to get down to the pool!” Kuina called out. You stopped in your tracks and turned around to face her. “I want to get down there before the sun comes out and everyone wakes up! Don’t you want to have it just for us three for a while?”

“I suppose so,” Kuina breathed out heavily.

Chishiya’s lips pulled up into a smile as he watched you too bicker. “Oi you two. Be quiet. People in these halls are still sleeping,” he said.

Kuina turned to Chishiya and pulled a mocking bored face towards him. “Well you’re fun this morning,” she muttered in a sarcastic tone.

All three of you made your way to the pool on the bottom floor of The Beach, tripping and shoving each other playfully while giggling. You hardly ever did this together, because Chishiya always slept until noon, so you were excited about having the pool to yourselves before the sun came up.

When you reached outside, your chatters and the sound of your bare feet on the pavement broke the silence of the night. You hoped that Hatter kept the windows closed to his suite because you knew if you woke him up he would come down and beat your asses for being awake so early.

You looked over towards the pool that was still lit up with underwater neon blue lights from the night before. You’d think that they would shut all the lights off at least to save a bit of electricity, but apparently not.

Kuina had thrown her towel down carelessly on a nearby deck chair and was now chasing after Chishiya, who powered his short legs to try and escape her.

“Chishiya you’re going in the pool! You can’t chicken out forever!” she yelled as she caught up to him and wrapped her strong arms around his waist.

You could tell the years of martial arts training paid off for Kuina as she lifted Chishiya into her arms like he weighed nothing. “Bitch, put me down! I don’t want to go in the pool! Why is that such a crime!?”

You doubled over in laughter as Kuina held the cat-like blonde in her arms, him squirming more violently as she got to the side of the pool.

“Goodbye!” she yelled and dropped him into the pool. His screaming cut off as he was submerged into the water. You walked over and placed your stuff down, listening to Kuina and Chishiya bickering in the background.

It was a shame that you were planning on walking out on these guys. But in a world like this, the bad moments really outweighed the good ones.

“Alright you’re next!” you heard behind you, making you snap out of your short daze.

“Wait, no!” you bellowed as Kuina repeated the same thing she did with Chishiya. This time, it was his turn to laugh at you.

“Jesus christ woman. The fuck got you so lively this morning?” you laughed at Kuina, who gracefully dived into the pool to tease you two.

You felt Chishiya tuck his chin on your shoulder gently, taking you by surprise. “I guess we got to act as happy as we can now. Our five day visa ends tonight.” Chishiya mumbled to you two.

The air around the three of you suddenly became stiff at the mention of the games. You lifted your hand and placed it on Chishiya’s damp hair. “It’s alright, it was a fun and relaxing five days while it lasted,” you said cheerfully.

“Don’t say that like as if you’re going to die,” Chishiya scolded you. “You won’t die, none of us three will.” He was trying to reassure himself that he would come back from his game with you all happy and healthy waiting in the lobby for him. He hoped for that exact reality every time he had to leave you to restore his visa. He panicked even when you were ten minutes later than usual. It was a constant battle with anxiety when it came to caring for you in a world like this.

But unfortunately, while Chishiya was willing to fight against the growing anxiety that came with loving you, you didn’t want anything to do with it.

You and Chishiya have been as tight as two peas in a pod since Kuina introduced you. Kuina and you happened to meet at a diamonds game that was further in the centre of the city which was where you appeared in the game. She was nice enough to take you back to The Beach, because she thought that your intelligence and gentle personality would be useful.

But the plan of using you for Kuina and Chishiya’s own personal gain went out the window when both of them built a strong connection with you. They tried so hard to stop it, but in the end, they decided to make you an addition to their little manipulative games with the others. A mysterious duo became a peculiar trio.

That’s when Chishiya began to notice other things he felt.

He began feeling an irrational attachment to you, always wanting to be around you and always wanting to make sure that you were safe. You began noticing his additional little quirks as well, as soon you both fell for each other, without the other knowing of course.

Kuina obviously knew, as she was incredibly observant. She always kept her mouth shut though, wanting to see the drama play out in front of her. It was entertaining at times.

“You two are cute,” she gushed at you and Chishiya, holding a cheeky smile on her face.

Chishiya tucked his face into your neck to hide his blush, but it only made your heart skip a beat. “Shut up,” he mumbled into your skin.

You sighed heavily as he kept his place there, snaking his arms around your waist. This was honestly normal. The closer you’ve gotten with Chishiya, the less shy he’s been to convey physical affection. You loved and hated it at the same time, because you knew the more he made your heart race, the harder it would be to leave him.

At times you thought you’d rather deal with his cold and untrustworthy personality, like how he was when he first met you. It was easier to dislike him then, but now that his real personality has shown through, you realized how good of a person he actually seemed to be.

Chishiya never became close to someone, because he knew it would be hard to pull away when he needed to use them for his own survival. So he’s just always chosen to keep everyone at a distance.

You on the other hand, you hadn’t fallen down the deep whole of caring fully for someone in this world, but you knew you were about to stumble off the edge.

While Kuina and Chishiya waited to renew their visas, you waited to run away from the stress of waiting for your friend’s potential deaths.

******

You, Kuina and Chishiya trudged down the steps that led to the lobby. Hatter had called everyone to meet there a few minutes ago to prepare for the games. Hearing the familiar bell ring throughout the so-called paradise made your heart weaken. It was calling you to your end, every single time.

The trio of you took your usual place towards the back of the lobby, leaning against the cement walls and looking over everyone’s heads. How weird it felt, that by the time you gathered here next, the number of people would reduce by a couple dozen. It made your stomach sink in remorse. You truly were nothing more than soldiers fighting a war that wasn’t your own.

You looked down at your own feet, beginning to feel guilty about your plan of running away. The people you would abandon, the friends who would miss you. And even they can’t come find you, but you knew it was for the best. For both you and them.

You felt something tickle your hand. You glanced your eyes down to see that it was Chishiya, trying to sneak his hand into yours as Hatter began his booming speech across the crowd. You looked up to the blonde’s face, but he was focused on Hatter. You smiled sadly and accepted his hand into yours, earning a soft squeeze from him.

Kuina placed her head on your shoulder, leaning closer towards you. It was as if they knew, and they were trying to get you to change your mind. You felt tears building up in your eyes, but quickly wiped them away with your hoodie sleeve before anyone noticed.

Damn. You were never going to forget them.

******

Chishiya sat in the leather lounge in the lobby. He had just arrived back from his spades game. Wasn’t too difficult, for him at least.

Only now he was stressing inside, leg bouncing up and down on the carpet quickly. He knew you wouldn’t return for a good while, but yet he always was worried about you. No matter the situation.

Niragi didn’t help the situation. He strolled over earlier with a few of his militant mates and roughed Chishiya up for a bit. He honestly wasn’t in the mood for their antics, so he didn’t fight back much. They eventually got bored and walked away.

There hardly was anyone in the lobby, it was strangely quiet.

Chishiya looked towards the entrance to the lobby where a small group of people just walked in from. He recognized them as the group Kuina was placed with, so he stood up from his seat and quickly made his way over.

He managed to spot Kuina walking by herself at the back of the group. Chishiya let out a relieved sigh and strolled up to her. “Thank god you’re okay,” he said, giving her a short hug. “You too,” she replied.

They walked back over to where Chishiya was sitting beforehand and sat down. “Do you know who Y/N went with?” Kuina asked.

“No idea, I had to leave with my group before hers,” he answered.

They both sat in silence for a while, hearts squeezing in on themselves from tension.

As group after group piled into the lobby and moved to go to the back pool to celebrate their wins. While their hearts and minds were overflowing in joy of surviving, Chishiya’s and Kuina’s slowly became heavier and heavier with grief.

One of the last groups finally came back, being a few hours later than everyone else. Chishiya searched the small crowd for your familiar face, but didn’t see it.

“Kuina,” he started with a tense voice. “Don’t say it,” she immediately cut him off. “Don’t say anything Chish. She’s fine, I know it.”

That became harder and harder to believe the later into the night it got. Soon enough, no one was left in the halls and the lobby, either gone to bed or stayed out in the pool area.

Chishiya didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t feel anything. His body was tired from the constant tensing, the constant anxiety.

He stood up abruptly and looked towards Kuina, who had her head in her hands. He gave her a sad smile, and reached his hand out to help her up. “Come on, let’s go to the roof like old times,” he smiled, fighting the tears building up in his eyes.

*********

When they reached the top of the building after climbing many annoying flights of steps, Chishiya tilted his head back to feel the wind blow around his head. He opened his eyes and saw the galaxy of stars above him. ‘So weird,’ he thought to himself. ‘In a horrible place like this, such beautiful things can still exist.’

Kuina and Chishiya sat on the edge of the roof, feet dangling off the edge. Complete silence took over them. Neither of them knew what to say.

Kuina broke her gaze off the staggering height of the drop below them and glanced at Chishiya. He was staring straight ahead of him, hoodie covering his face so she couldn’t see what he was looking at.

“Chish, are you okay?” Kuina asked quietly, leaning forward to try and see his face. It felt strange to her, having Chishiya be completely silent for a change. Usually he would be making a smartass comment or a teasing joke towards her or Y/N. It was like the happiness in him had drained out.

He didn’t answer for a short moment, but then he turned his head to look at Kuina in the eyes. Kuina was taken back.

Chishiya had pools of tears cascading down his pale face, mixing with the sweat that he still endured from the game. He let out no sobs and no cries. Just dry, empty tears running down his cheeks like doves flying down the edge of a cliff.

“No, I’m not okay,” he muttered to her. “This fucking sucks.”

*******

It had been a few weeks since your death, not that there was a huge difference at The Beach from your disappearance. Everyone carried on like normal, everyone except Kuina and Chishiya.

They became secluded, more than usual. Kuina spent most of her time in the hotel’s gym, trying to distract herself from everything that happened. She wanted to get stronger so she could win games, she knew that’s what you would have wanted.

Chishiya however, he wasn’t taking your death well at all. Chishiya lost his fire, his headstrong attitude and snappy remarks. He kind of disappeared himself, but only his body stayed.

He felt stupid at times. What would he have expected? Of course you died, knowing his luck. He began irrationally thinking, believing that the world took you away because he didn’t deserve someone as warm-hearted as you. He felt cheated almost. It was like the universe had you dangling on a string in front of him, and when he finally had the courage to reach towards you, it yanked you away out of his view.

When he was having particular hard days, he would lie on his bed in his room for hours, not bothering to get up for food or the bathroom. He felt numb inside, he honestly thought nothing would be able to hurt him anymore, because he’s endured the worst of his emotions.

The mirror in his room was smashed, due to his own doing. He broke it a few days after the incident, screaming into the stuffy air of his room and throwing one of his makeshift knives at it. He watched in pain as it crackled and crumbled under the impact, seeing his own reflection fall into a million pieces, much like how he was feeling at that moment.

He had never experienced this kind of hurt before. He always thought other people were being dramatic when they broke down crying after hearing their significant other or friend didn’t make it back to The Beach. He thought that it should’ve been expected, that they shouldn’t be surprised that it happened. But he guessed you never know what another person is feeling unless you experience it yourself.

But god, does he wish he didn’t, because it hurt more than a thousand knives to his cold, stone heart.

**********

One day, Chishiya was standing on the edge of a balcony that looked over the entrance to The Beach. He enjoyed standing up there because he loved the spectacular view of the ocean. It reminded him of his real home, when he used to ride his bike down to the beach with his friends and swim in the water for hours. He missed life when it was so easy for him.

The breeze was cool on his skin, giving him goosebumps. It felt refreshing and somewhat free, a small taste of bliss for him. His eyes were shut as he listened to the crows screech in the distance and the ocean waves hit the shore. The sound of nature rang in his ears, making his endorphins swirl in his brain.

It was a good break every now and then from the usual melancholy emotions that swarmed around him, keeping his happiness locked down in chains. While he was on that balcony, actually breathing fully and normally for once, his demons decided to let loose of the chains that held his sweet happiness trapped.

Chishiya opened his dark eyes and glanced downwards towards the bottom level and saw something that caught his eye.

A group of three militants seemed to have a young woman in their grasp, one of them being Niragi himself. Chishiya watched as they tried hard to hold the smaller person at bay, as she was thrashing around trying to escape.

He frowned, confusion painting across his face. That girl, she looked oddly familiar.

Niragi told the militants to bring her around the side of the building, where a small alley was located beside the entrance. Chishiya knew that’s where the militants dragged people to kill them off, they were planning on killing her.

Chishiya wondered what she did that was so bad. Hatter hardly ever gave the order to kill someone, unless the situation was betrayal or anything worse.

He moved himself along the balcony towards where the commotion below him was occurring. He wanted to hear what they were saying, because who knows what shit Niragi gets up to without Hatter knowing. It seemed a little too suspicious to be dragging someone to their death in broad daylight, especially where everyone could see.

Chishiya heard slight fragments of what they were yelling: “You thought- … run away?!” Niragi screamed in his psychotic voice. “Let go of-...! …could have just left me there!”

Chishiya felt his heart drop. That voice, it was all too familiar. How could he have forgotten what your voice sounded like.

He lifted his head and stared forward in shock. That couldn’t be right, you’ve been dead for weeks!

He thought for a second, trying to come to a possible conclusion with the horrific yells in the background of his mind. How is it possible you could still be alive?

That couldn’t be you, it just couldn’t be. Chishiya shook his head and chuckled. “The fuck am I thinking? Great, now I’m hallucinating. No one told me that was another stage of grief.”

He turned his body to walk back inside to look for Kuina, until he heard the young woman getting attacked yell again, this time, clear as day.

“Chishiya! Kuina!”

That was it. That was definitely you.

Chishiya lifted his legs and began sprinting towards the staircase inside. There was no doubt in his mind that that wasn’t you. The way you said his name was too real to not be you.

He tripped and stumbled down the stairs, almost falling flat on his face on one flight. He had to get there before you were dead, for real this time.

As he pushed his entire body weight against the entrance doors to the hotel, he pulled a small knife out his white hoodie pocket. He had made it out of glass from his broken mirror, considering that Hatter wouldn’t allow him to have his own weapons.

Your screams were much more prominent now, more desperate sounding and more fearful. The sound pierced through Chishiya as he made his way quickly around the side of the hotel.

There you were, being pinned against the wall by two militants while Niragi held the barrel of his rifle against your chest, right over your heart.

Chishiya yelled out, which probably wasn’t the best idea considering his current situation. It was three tall men with guns against a small, frail man with a makeshift knife.

“Chishiya! The fuck you doing here?” Niragi asked with a cheeky smirk on his face. God, Chishiya wanted to punch him so bad.

“Let her go Niragi, you don’t want this to get ugly do you?” Chishiya threatened, holding his glass knife out.

Niragi laughed along with the other two militants. You still struggled against their grip, seemingly more calm with Chishiya distracting them.

“How cute ‘ey? Little blonde twink coming to save the love of his life, how sweet of you.” Niragi pressed, pushing his rifle harder against you just to push Chishiya’s buttons.

“If you haven’t noticed Chishiya, she ran away! She never died like you thought she did! She ran away from The Beach, she ran away from you!” 

His words were like bullets in Chishiya’s chest. He felt belittled and mocked, he hated it.

“Shut up! She wouldn’t do that!” he yelled frustratingly.

“Oh really?! She wouldn’t?! Then explain why we managed to find her strolling the streets of Tokyo! Not a scratch on her, and she seemed smart enough to run away when she saw us.”

Chishiya’s scowl dropped on his face. He looked at you to see if you would deny it, but you had stopped struggling against the two men and hung your head low, not looking into his eyes.

He shook off the hurt he felt from this fact. He had to focus on getting you away from Niragi before he took time to think about other things.

“Niragi please. Just let go of her, I promise I’ll make it up to you,” Chishiya begged. He felt small, never has he ever begged for something in his life.

“Hmm? How though? I was just about to have some fun with her before I killed her off. Why should I give that up just because you want me to,” Niragi spat at him. Your eyes widened in fear and you thrashed around in the grip that the militants had on you, panicking from Niragi’s threat.

Chishiya thought for a second. He would honestly give anything to bring you over to him. “My cards. You can take credit for every card that I collect for a couple of months. If Hatter or Aguni asks, just say I’m slacking. I’ll take any punishment they throw my way.”

You saw Niragi consider it before lowering his weapon off of your torso. You breathed out heavily in relief.

“Fine, but don’t expect me to do this again. You can’t bribe me with everything you sneaky fuck.” Niragi growled. The two militants let go of you and followed him out of the alleyway and into the entrance of The Beach.

You leant against the wall, staring at Chishiya as he stared down at the ground below him. The air between you two was tense. You could tell he was mad, Chishiya was always silent when he was incredibly angry.

“Chish, I-”

“Don’t talk to me. Just come.”

Don’t get me wrong, he couldn’t have been happier to see that you were alive and well. But the betrayal he felt from the fact that you ran away from him greatly outweighed his happiness.

He walked briskly ahead of you, you didn’t dare walk next to him or too close to him. He was scaring you a bit, and you wanted nothing but to sprint to your own room and hide from the rest of the world.

You were embarrassed and also frustrated you were caught. Trust Niragi and his cocky ass to find you.

Chishiya stopped in front of his own room, opened the door and gestured for you to walk inside. You hesitated before slowly making your way through the door. You hated how tense it was, it was the complete opposite of what you usually felt when you were around Chishiya.

You sat down on his bed, sitting in an awkward position and looked towards Chishiya. It was complete silence as he was frozen at the door, back towards you and holding the door handle harshly.

“What the fuck Y/N?” he mumbled. It was almost inaudible, but you could hear pain in his words, which made you immediately feel guilty.

“What the fuck was that? You ran away!?” he turned and yelled at you, tears building up in his eyes.

You flinched as his loud voice. You had never heard him yell in anger before, usually he kept his calm. You looked down to the ground, feeling your own eyes fill with hot tears. You felt like you were back in high school with your parents screaming at you for running away from home.

“I THOUGHT YOU DIED!” he shouted louder, “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN YOU PUT KUINA THROUGH?! HOW MUCH YOU PUT ME THROUGH?!”

You couldn’t breathe. Pain and suffering dripped off his words like rain on a roof, coming together and creating an atmosphere that held air that was unbreathable. You suffocated on the oxygen, making you choke and cause tears to begin running down your cheeks.

“Why!?” he cried. “Why did you run!? There was no reason, me and Kuina could have protected you if you were too scared! Why did you think that running away was the only option!?” Chishiya stumbled closer to you, almost tripping over his own feet.

You flinched heavily as he placed his cold hands on your shoulders roughly. They were shaking from trying to hold your sobs in.

“WHY DID YOU LEAVE-” “Chishiya!” you interrupted him by snapping your head up to meet your eyes with his. His face dropped as he saw the sadness behind yours, replacing the wonderful and cheerful happiness that once swam in your eyes like dolphins in a sea.

“I l-love you,” you mumbled out between your shaky breaths. “That was the problem Chish. I-I’m in love with you and it hurt too fucking bad to know that you could disappear out of my reach at any moment. I ran because I didn’t want to watch you and Kuina die!”

Chishiya’s own hands shook violently against your shoulders. He gazed into your eyes which were red and puffy from your tears. They were shining more now than they had ever before.

“You don’t have to leave Y/N,” he whispered, still trying to control his own breathing. “I want you here, next to me. Not out there, because when you’re out there, I can’t be with you.”

You nodded and smiled sadly. Chishiya pulled his hand from your shoulder and cradled your face gently. He swiped his thumb over your cheek to get rid of the tears there. “I love you too, but I can’t be without you.”

A grin crept onto your face as you looked into his eyes. You felt safer than ever in his arms, why did you think of ever leaving?

Chishiya wiped his own tears with his hoodie sleeve and put on a happier smile. “You want to know how pathetic I am without you?” he giggled and held your hands in his.

“I almost threw myself off the top of the hotel the night you didn’t come back. Kuina had to tackle me to the ground to keep me away from the edge.” he laughed at himself.

You chuckled along with him. “Imagine if you did! What a shocker it would’ve been if I came back and Kuina saw me alive after you killed yourself because you thought I was gone!”

You both sat on Chishiya’s bed and laughed at each other. You had to do it, humour is best in times of stress and anxiety.

*********

You opened your eyes slowly, only to be met with the blinding light of the sun seeping through the blinds. You hissed and turned your head the other way.

Chishiya chucked at your reaction, making his chest that was underneath your head vibrate. “So cute,” he muttered to himself.

You pushed your face deeper into his chest and breathed in his scent. It felt good to be back with Chishiya. It felt good to be home.

Author’s Note: oKaY so this ended up being a lot longer than expected. Please send in some requests if you have any! 🥰🥰