#and i don't trust myself on antidepressants bc let's be honest id just try and off myself again
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fucking so sick of surviving
#i feel cursed#every fucking day i don't do shit and somehow feel more and more tired more and more stressed#ive always been a pretty angry person but i fully internalise it bc i don't want to upset anyone#but rn im getting more and more angry at myself and everything around me and im getting more and more intrusive thoughts#every time i pick up anything even slightly sharp or pointed the urge to just gouge out my own eyes just gets stronger#god why couldn't i have just died#im so tired and miserable all of the time#therapy can't help me it literally never has before#and i don't trust myself on antidepressants bc let's be honest id just try and off myself again#and everyone would get mad at me and itdm ake people miserable#god that's all i do#make people angry and miserable#it'd be better for me to just do it one more time so nobody has to put up with it for the rest of their lives#god#god why is any of this happening to me#cw eye trauma#cw sui
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