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#im so tired and miserable all of the time
emmyrosee · 2 days
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Pls pls pls help a girl out!!
Its shark 🦈 week and whenever I’m in shark week I crave angst full on body angst ne you write it best 😭 pity me
I write it the best…? 🥺🩷 also no specific character in mind for this, but yall are married so 🫶🏻
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You’ve been yelling at each other for hours.
The circles of verbal assault haven’t slowed its pace, vile, cruel words flying from one mouth to pierce the heart of the other, only for the other words to come harder, meaner, louder. The throes of anger keep you both pinned in place, unable to stop, think, and see the damage you’re causing each other.
Your hands are swollen from your fists being so tightly balled, migraine forming from your scowling. His brows are stuck pinched in the center of his forehead, so deep you’re convinced they’ll stay there for days after you’re done. His teeth are grit so tight together that you want to massage his jaw to make them loosen before he shatters his pearly whites into pieces.
The culprit? A cold cup of tea, that now sits to the side dejectedly.
Because of that cold cup of tea, you’ve been screaming for two, going onto three hours, with no end in sight.
But, it’s not about the cold tea. It’s about the fact that the urgency in your love is gone, the quickness and determination to be with each other has dissolved into nothing but sugar melting in a mug of tea. Your time together has been awkward, it’s been minimal, and in your search to do something nice for him, like a warm cup of tea, he allowed it to get cold, and… what happened next?
There’s boundaries being crossed, lines of truce being broken as you cast vicious words against each other, the use of insecurities to make the other crumble and conjure a look of hurt, only to morph to disgust and yell back something even more heinous.
And yet…
“What did I even marry you for?” He snarls, throwing his arms out. “I’m certain it wasn’t for this! So why are we wasting our time right now?”
Your world stops.
In an instant, all words die on your tongue. Your mouth opens and closes like a fish as all you can think about are his words. They repeat in your head, almost in slow motion, as your heart sinks in your chest.
“What…?” you croak. Your throat is dry, mouth cottony, and you silently pray to anything, holy and not, merciful and malicious, that you didn’t hear him right. Your mind is lying, so tired of fighting you’re seeing the worst in him as a defense mechanism.
“You heard me,” he barks. “Your life is so miserable? You hate it here so much? GO.”
You heard him right.
You wished you hadn’t.
Your arms come up to cradle yourself in comfort, the fire swirling in your chest now extinguished, the once lively fight now being reduced to a ringing in your ear.
You’d… when did he…
“You don’t get to sit here, call me a cheater, a loser, a liar, all for your own good mind. Not when I’ve put my whole LIFE into you. I gave you my WHOLE. LIFE.”
“Why…”
“What?” He snarls.
You sniffle. Your bottom lip wobbles, and you blink a line of scalding tears out; you’re surprised they don’t sizzle your flesh from being so hot with frustration.
“Why… are you being so mean?”
“Mean?” He snaps. “Mean, you’ve called me some of the cruelest shit I’ve ever heard in your vocabulary, but I’m being mean? Do you even hear yourself, IM THE MEAN ONE?”
“Do you really wonder why you married me…?”
Your voice is so quiet, you wonder if he heard you.
He opens his mouth to spew his venom, only to stop dead in his tracks. His brows soften as his eyes widen, jaw slacking subtly. For the first time tonight, the room is quiet; still thick enough to cut the tension with a blade, but it’s quiet enough where you both can gather your thoughts.
You wipe your nose with your arm, “do you really think I want to stay here and fight with you? Is that how you think I want to spend my night with you?” You sob softly, “because it’s not. I don’t want to fight with you over cold tea… I don’t want to…”
You can practically see the lightbulb over his head light up. That’s right, you think to yourself. This is about tea.
“I…”
“I don’t question why I married you,” you whimper. “I know exactly why- because I love you. But the man I know would never, and I mean never, verbally assault and question his love for me over a cold. Cup. Of. Tea.”
“I don’t…” he shakes softly. “How did we get here…?”
“You started this war,” you hiss. “I didn’t.”
“Baby…”
“Don’t you fucking baby me,” you snap. “No. You don’t get to do that as a way to weasel out of this. You’re not going to guilt me with pet names to forgive you.”
“No, no, baby- damn, no, I mean-“
“You know what?” You pull your lips down into a frown and throw your hands out in defeat. “You want me gone so bad? I’m gone.”
“No, no, wait,” he begs, reaching out for one of your hands. You whip them back like he’s made of fire, and he reels away, as if keeping you safe, “no, I don’t want you to leave. I don’t question my love for you, I’d rather die than ever have you wonder if I love you-“
“Then you’d better have a goddamned good explanation for this,” you hiss. “Because right now? We’re done.”
“No!”
“I’m…” your strength is gone. Your lip quivers and your hand comes up to cover your mouth, and you wail as you make a dash out of the room, darting for the bedroom. You lock the door and slam your fist against the wood, screaming, howling in agony at the heartbreak of potentially losing your husband over a cold cup of tea.
Things spiraled so far out of control, that he questioned his love for you. How are you to come back from that? Angry words are truth shrouded in cruelty, and you are not going to let him berate you in such a manner as to wonder if this marriage was a good choice. You deserve far more, far better, than that.
On the other side of the door, you hear a soft poomf, then a thump. You stop crying to try and figure out the noises and their purpose.
“I’m here,” he says quietly, a far different tone from how he was speaking to you not three minutes ago. “I won’t try to come in. I won’t make you talk to me. But I’m here… and I love you. And I’m sorry.”
“Bite me,” you choke.
You hear him sigh through his nose, “I… I know why I married you,” he whispers. You don’t say anything. He continues regardless, “because you’re you. And on our first date, you were late because you hated the outfit you had planned, but you looked so fucking good, I couldn’t handle it. And it was that day, I decided I wanted to wait for you, forever. You are more than worth waiting for. And…” you hear him clear his throat, but there’s an emotional block in his voice, “I’ll keep waiting for you. Right here, on this floor. I’ll sleep, I’ll eat, I’ll piss I’ll die here, I don’t care, I’m right here. And I’ll stay here to prove that you’re worth waiting for.” He shudders.
“I’m happy to wait for you.”
———
haikyuu: daichi, kageyama, tsukishima, kuroo, yaku, iwaizumi, mattsun, hanamakki, oikawa, kyotani, ushijima (different font), kita (also different font), atsumu, osamu, suna, sakusa, meian
bnha: bakugou, dabi, hawks
jjk: gojo, geto, nanami, sukuna, toji, shiu
tokyo rev: baji, draken, mikey, hanma, rindou
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suntails · 2 years
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eepy lil guy
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harvestmoth · 1 year
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what do you think theyre giggling about
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gaytoddhoward · 1 month
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they should invent a period that doesnt make me the most miserable person on earth
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wttcsms · 5 months
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full fledged concept coming soon but long story short: hallmark movie-esque concept ft. finance girlie that's going through it & heads back to her childhood hometown she's spent most of her life trying to run from x the boy she used to beef with all throughout high school who is now running a successful business - the onigiri shop that is the only place hiring in the general vicinity.
osamu miya x reader, childhood nemeses to awkward boss/employee to friends to lovers 🤭
general things to tackle in here: what happens when we prioritize what other people's perceptions of success is over what makes you feel happy and fulfilled, getting off on the wrong foot (and then continuing to have that same foot be the one in ur mouth) every time you interact with the person who's literally your soulmate, vanity is so overrated (you grapple with going from six figure salary corporate girlie to literal fast food cashier), realizing that "starting over" can be either the worst or the best thing to happen to you in life, don't be mean to the boy next door - he might grow up to be a super hot business owner... and your future employer
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mithomite · 6 months
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had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what
#lolaa.txt#what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa#also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men#and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man#so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face#that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin#you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to#never really have#im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are#if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box#then when would you have any space for self discovery#youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats#and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names#and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy#and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia#tw transphobes
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ok fine im a bit pissy
I did not spend HOURS of EVERY DAY this week, most often WELL AFTER MIDNIGHT
doing things for certain types of encampment that I CANT TALK ABT ON SOCIAL MEDIA ON RISK OF SELF-INCRIMINATION
to be palestine-guilted over MEMEING ABOUT MISHA COLLINS
I did not WORK MYSELF TO EXHAUSTION
face *REDACTED* and *REDACTED*
to be told that my HAPPY LITTLE FANDOM POSTING on a site with NO FINANICAL OR ALGORITHMIC SIGNIFICANCE TO CELEBRITIES somehow undoes alllll of that.
is this a good post? no. does it apply to a lot of ppl? prolly not. could I lose followers/moots for this? yeah.
but its what I'm feeling rn.
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thebirdandhersong · 1 year
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Hm
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milkweedman · 1 year
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Sunset today
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llitchilitchi · 5 months
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Here's an ask! You're a very entertaining person actually and I'd love to know your thoughts on Life. 🎤
call me a nihilist but I do genuinely think that there is no greater meaning to life and we all just kind of exist. there is no point to anything, not in a Greater Cosmic Sense sort of way, so we can pick and choose what matters and what we put emphasis on. it is so much nicer to say that seeing a cat early in the morning chasing flies in the grass is more important than a failed exam, because in 10 years both of them will matter about the same (so not at all, most likely) and one of them brought joy
I think it was in the Nicomachean Ethics, where Aristotle talked about how "true good" in the world is to find out what you love and to do it with your whole heart, and to learn to do it well, and that will bring you fulfillment and then contribute to a greater whole (which, while pointless in a divine and cosmic sense, is a wonderful thing because people deserve to be happy without a greater reason behind it than happiness itself)
and I think that's what life should be about
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deathbyworm · 3 months
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ohhhhh I am going in so unprepared tomorrow I'm going to explode
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yu3s · 3 months
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** would like to say thank you to my job for draining the life out of me in a slow and agonizing process that the weekend does not allow me to recover from and also for giving me a non-living wage in exchange 0/0 situation
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deus-ex-mona · 4 months
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i’m gonna be s o o o o annoying about chuucon come 12 june
#im begging for there to be an online bonus for this bc aauauuauauauauauauauauauaaaaa#the month delay has been b r u t a l i need my high quality yunaisms asap aaaaa#and now. time to think about whether to tl or not to tl it… ahhhh…#on one hand. it has y u n a . i think everyone needs to meet and love yuna. most normal aizo stan ever (lies)#come to think of it why are aizo stans all so aggressive lol there was that one who picked a fight with kobayashi#there was kanami who ‘accidentally’ bumped into aizo during his downtime#and there’s whatever’s going on with chizuutan and yuna lol#aizo stans be normal challenge!!!!!!!#hm. maybe i should just throw some out of context yuna panel tls instead to make everyone (including myself) miserable#bc there’s no wayyyayayayaayayayyyyy im gonna do this alone esp if do i get [insert job im not qualified for]#i dont think hospital workers will have enough time to tl more than one project at a time lol. um.#anyways i’ll try to get this other lxl magazine tl done this weekend and finally!!!!! return to idol sengen after that!!!!!!!!#i wanna barrel through vols 4-5 as fast as i possibly can for ✨asuna-chan✨#hmammamsmmamsmamamma i think asuna and yuna should be mutuals on priv#pov ur online besties with a girl who also cancels her gf on priv just like you do with ur own gf#flashtag womens wrongs flashtag this too is yuri#idk sorry im too tired to be coherent rn thinking is for the w e a k#chizuutan chizpost#…for a chizuutan post this was remarkably not about her huh…#lord i forgot to turn of rbs a g a i n what if i crode
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squishe · 4 months
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im getting tired of feeling this sad and alone all the time. i literally cant even actually talk about it to anyone bc im pathetic as fuck for still crying over this in the first place. who wants to hear the broken mutt cry over being left behind every single day until it feels less alone anyways
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pepprs · 1 year
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it’s yom kippur now and im not supposed to eat anything until sunset tomorrow but ive had a headache all day and rn its fucking SPLITTING but im 5 hours into the fast and i don’t know what to do. eating something would probably make me feel better but it’s yom kippur and i don’t have a longstanding ailment that would prohibit me from fasting or whatever it’s just i woke up with a headache that has gotten worse throughout the day and now the fast has started but it’s the worst it’s been all day. idk what to do. i need to eat something but i can’t
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toastsnaffler · 5 months
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how the fuck did we make it over 6 months without a rice cooker...... no wonder its been such a rough year 💀
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